Hello everyone and welcome. I am of course the writer of this beloved article, the "Purveyor of Punk" Chris Dresden. Just felt like throwing a bit of my wrestling character in there, couldn't resist, and here's why. Because it is Sunday, August the 28th, and Starrcade is here and ready to roll! People are blowing up the prediction threads, Big Red Morrison Punk is advertising on his MSN, and ideas are already being thrown around for the next pay-per-view! People are excited baby, and perhaps none more than myself.
I've practically been salivating about the chance to review this show because on hype and build alone, I knew it was going to be something absolutely impeccable, and the more hard work I've seen put into it behind the scenes, the more excited I've gotten. So without further adieu, I will be your wrestling pharmacist this evening, and my prescription is not only for more cowbell, but The Dresden Dose!
Usually I skim over a show and go back and re-read it for my reviews, but this time I'm doing things a little differently. I'm writing this via WordPad in one window, and I have Starrcade open and ready to read in another, so I'm technically writing a live show which means my thoughts will come out through the writing as they appear. I think the emotion will be rawer that way and my readers can get a better since of what I'm feeling as I observe the product the CWF Staff have worked so hard to produce.
As I begin, the first thing I see is the poster, and rightfully so. Rock has done well in making us care about his CM Punk since picking him up, and since he finds himself fighting for the Heavyweight Championship this evening, I'd say he's going places quickly. "You deserve hate" is one of those things I wasn't sure I was going to like at first, but it's begun to grow on me as a solid catchphrase so points to you for that, sir.
Starrcade hails from Miami, Florida live from the Sun Life Arena. I've got a feeling the only thing that will be hotter than the Florida weather will be the action happening indoors. Fun fact, this is only the third Starrcade I've seen in e-feds as well as been a part of. Will the third time be the charm and this be a show I find just as successful? Time will tell. One thing is certain, CWF will not meet the same fate as the company that came up with Starrcade in the first place. And the crowd doesn't appreciate the dig at WCW.
Just having some fun, I enjoy the concept. If you'll recall, I once held Halloween Havoc, which was also a WCW pay-per-view back in the day. Anyhoo, onto the show, awesome miz made an incredible video for it that you should definitely take the time to check out if you scrolled past the video without hitting play. A lot of the sound bytes came from WWE Raw this week I noticed. I take no issue with that, just wanted to make that observation.
The theme song of the event is "Sick" by Adelita's Way, a theme that rocks as hard as I'm hopeful Starrcade itself will. Jim Ross and Joey Styles open the show, talking over the opening pyrotechnics and such going off, informing us that our first match of the night will be the Singles contest between "Dashing" Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler, or Ellis and Guano, if you want to get technical.
Ziggler is out first, exuding his usual cockiness. After making his way to the ring, Cody Rhodes enters next, giving Dolph a run for his money in the overconfidence department. But as much as these two love themselves, the crowd can't stand either one of them, which is apparent by their booing. At the sound of the ring bell, it's time for action.
As J.R. points out on commentary, the participants wrestle a very technical and mat-based style in the early goings, trading off who has control of the momentum as the match goes on. Rhodes reverses a side headlock into a back suplex in a moment of cleverness, but Dolph is none too happy as he takes a swing at the "Dashing" mug of his opponent.
Rhodes prevents the hate crime on his looks from being committed by avoiding the attack, then knocking Ziggler into the corner and stomping him in the abdomen like he caught Dolph stealing a bottle of hair product from him.
In the words that follow this, there are two gems I felt were of note. Joey Styles referring to Cody's actions as him, "stomping a mudhole" in Dolph, which J.R. takes exception to, and Rhodes receiving boos that would make Ric Flair wince as the referee pulls him off of his opponent. Dolph takes advantage of this and lights into Cody with a few well-executed attacks, going for the pin.
But it's only a two count. Dolph argues with the referee over this but eventually comes to terms with the fact that the match must continue as he tries to attack Rhodes. But Cody makes him wish he hadn't taken so long as he DDT's Dolph and goes for the pin. But it's also only a two count.
After Ziggler kicks out, Rhodes decides he's had enough, as he plants him with his Cross Rhodes finisher. Before he can cover however, he notices they are joined by someone on the top rope? What's all this about?
According to Joey Styles, it's none other than Eddie Guerrero. But while Rhodes is distracted with Eddie, he gets laid out by R-Truth with the "Shut Up"! The referee throws the match out and gets hit with the same maneuver as Truth drags Dolph next to Cody and...DOUBLE FROG SPLASH!
Rhodes and Ziggler are thrown from the ring as the commentators express the same confusion I'm currently feeling. It says Eddie and Truth are joined by a Ventura, and by that I assume it's Jesse Ventura. Ventura, Truth, and Guerrero? Let's see what they have to say at least.
[POST-MATCH PROMO]
Eddie, looking menacing, speaks mysteriously of a disease infecting CWF that he, Truth, and Jesse Ventura have come to kill, warning the rest of the roster that nothing can be done about it except aligning with them or ending up like Dolph and Cody. Truth steps forward and tells the fans that their booing is misguided, stating how fed up he is with trying to make him happy when they don't appreciate it. He goes on to reiterate that you're either with them, or against them.
Jesse Ventura now speaks up. He puts over Eddie and Truth as two of the best, and goes on to tell in just as vague a fashion as the others what exactly their reason for being in CWF is. Near the end of his statement, he reveals that they will be called R.E.M.E.D.Y., saying more or less that only they know what's next and reiterating that they cannot be stopped. All three men exit the ring and head to the back. This faction certainly caught my eye, and I anxiously await what's next.
Their name, if I were to take a guess, likely coincides with their talk of healing and curing and killing disease. Again, certainly interesting, especially since I'm sure the pictures to choose from aren't that numerous.
[NEXT PROMO]
As we're trying to digest what we've just seen, suddenly another shocking surprise occurs as none other than Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore enter the CWF arena! This was a strong promo to debut with, whoever wrote that should be proud of themselves. Shannon didn't speak during this, but he didn't need to, Matt was convincing enough on his own, that comment about Jeff was absolutely scathing. Nicely done.
[COMMERCIAL #1]
I told you ideas were already being discussed for the next event. Invasion comes to you in one month's time, and I'm excited for it, especially since yours truly's Big Red Machine appears on the poster.
I wrote this match, and let me just say I rank it up there as one of the best matches I've ever written. I'm quite proud of this one. It was insane to write, but it was a blast! Please give me feedback on this.
With rey unfortunately having to leave us, that meant Great Hassan could not win and neither could Chosen Destiny. I had made a note that New Age Outlaws winning would be the finish, then Beer Money got a TT up. So although it was a late entry, the quality was enough to secure the champions. Congratulations to Rock and I sincerely hope lewb doesn't take the loss personally.
[POST-MATCH PROMO]
After the match, Christian is in the backstage meeting with Teddy Long? Well I certainly wasn't expecting to see him on the show. Could he be the general manager of Honor? Not sure, as it appears he was just there so Christian would have someone to talk to. Nice promo though, Andrew, love your Christian.
Alright, I know earlier during the first match of the night I kind of went hold for hold, but I'm not going to do that going forward, I feel like I'm re-writing the show in a way when I do that, because my general writing style is similar to the way I write matches. So starting with this match, I will do my general summary.
Btw, nice us of the hype video for this match, I enjoyed it. Let me say that if you didn't read this match from start to finish, you need to, because you're missing out otherwise. Major, major props to the writer, that was quite the contest. I mean it was incredible, then you add in the restart and what transpired after that and then the post-match stuff. Let's just say I hope there's more left in this feud.
[POST-MATCH PROMO]
Just like Jello, there's always room for a Kane promo. To Big Red Morrison Punk that said I was too hot to handle right now, to BronzyCoder who is a self-professed "Dres mark", and to my many other friends and supporters, I thank you. I can say the same thing about Kane that I said about my Mankind and my Austin, at first I didn't think I was doing that well and was self-conscious about every trash talk and promo I did. Now, I see that I'm on to something, and I'm going to tap into the darkness of my Kane as long as possible.
[COMMERCIAL #2]
Our second commercial of the show is for Night of Champions, coming up in just a few weeks. There's a nice promotional video used here and a good question, will you be watching? As far as I know, right now my schedule's free for that night and I will indeed be watching.
Back from commercial, Styles and J.R. give a recap, mentioning the aftermath of Ziggler/Rhodes as well as Miz/Cena, and the new signing of the tag team of Matt Hardy Version 1 and Shannon Moore. After the recap, it is revealed that it is now time for the triple threat Steel Cage match for the Primetime Championship.
This match I knew was going to be an insane delight because of the participants and the stipulation, and I wasn't the slightest bit disappointed. I'm an absolute mark for Sam's Kevin Thorn so I'm a bit disappointed he didn't win here, but Lubaninho's Sheamus deserves it just as much, so congratulations buddy. That's not to take anything away from your Morrison though, awesome miz, I hope to see all of your paths cross again.
[COMMERCIAL #3]
This woman's name escapes me at the moment, but she is most definitely attractive.
It is now time for my match. Can I keep my pay-per-view streak going or will rawisrey go out in a blaze of glory? A very good match, and some flattering things said on commentary as well. As Kane is once again victorious and my streak remains intact, I proudly accept the claim that I am, "the one to beat.".
[POST-MATCH PROMO]
In this interaction, Todd Grisham had more to say than Batista did, but it's fitting as the Animal seems content with letting his actions in the ring do the talking. Best of luck to you in the number one contender's match, lewb!
This match took the restart bit from Cena/Miz and cranked up the velocity, this was an insane match-up. Lesnar looked very impressive in this contest, as did Jericho, but at the end of it all the Next Big Thing is still your Intercontinental Champion.
[POST-MATCH PROMO]
"Honor" by Atreyu, which is the theme song for CWF's new brand by the way, begins playing as Taz makes his way down to the ring, likely to make an announcement regarding it. The Human Submission Machine keeps it short and sweet, making sure we all tune in to the draft tomorrow so we know who goes where. Who's ready for this new chapter of CWF? I know I am, Honor's going to shake things up, baby!
This match was not even close. Christian beat the brakes off of Orton and then proceeded to beat the fuel pump, the tires, and everything else off of him to boot. Three pins in thirty minutes gives Captain Charisma the clean sweep in this one, there's not much else to say than congratulations.
[COMMERCIAL #4]
Our commercial is a video package for Kofi Kingston followed by a video package for Evan Bourne. It appears they will be joining CWF as a tag team, calling themselves, "Sonic Boom". Cool name, by the way. I wonder who's going to be playing them.
[AFTERMATH OF CHRISTIAN/ORTON]
The damage to Orton was so great that he had to be stretchered into an ambulance and driven away. Suddenly Chavo and Ted DiBiase enter the shot. Could this be leading to something more?
Every time I think I've read the best match of the show, I'm proven wrong by the next match I read. Seriously though, I think it's set in stone this time, Edge versus Batista is the best match on this entire show. A lot of incredible action with a swerve here and there and a HUGE surprise makes this my favorite of the night. Congratulations to Big Red Morrison Punk on becoming the Number One Contender to the CWF Heavyweight Championship!
What better way to follow the contendership match than with the championship match? We get another nice hype video for the Finlay and CM Punk feud before both men come down to the ring, ready for war, no pun intended.
Wow, match of the night may have went to the previous one, but swerve of the night goes to this match. Finlay had one hell of a trick up his Irish sleeve, and after giving Punk quite a match, he is still the CWF Champion. But what's this?
It's Kane! Is he coming to cash in his briefcase? Kane goozles him, it looks like it. But wait, Edge shows up and, ooh! A devastating spear. Edge saves Finlay from the cash-in, and since the bell didn't ring, Kane is still the briefcase holder. Edge lays out Finlay and poses on the turnbuckle with the CWF Heavyweight Championship to close the show.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
The writers went above and beyond with the matches, not only making them entertaining, but chocking them full of swerves and surprises to keep you on the edge of your seats. There are a lot of questions raised after this show that we'll have to wait to get the answers for. However, I can answer one question. Was this a good show? Absolutely.
Thanks to Andrew, Hoov, Awesome Miz, Tapout, and Bronzy for another great show, and for letting me contribute. Hope you guys enjoyed Starrcade and my review of it, be sure to check out the Draft and be on the lookout for what's happening with WAR and Honor. Until next time, guys, be well.
