Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

Sky · Jul 24, 2025

Entry #1004
Kevin Nash vs. The Outlaw
Taped Fists First Blood Match
TNA Destination X - March 13, 2005

Finally for this show, we take a look at TNA's failed attempt to make a credible main eventer out of Billy Gunn! Oh, sorry, "The New Age Outlaw", because WWE owns that name. Oh, sorry, "The Outlaw", because WWE owns that name too. Oh, sorry, "Kip James", because WWE watched Destination X and judged the name was too similar. A DUD from Dave and 2.67/10 from Cagematch. Wonder why this didn't work out, apart from the name issue?

Gunn's theme is an obvious Ass Man ripoff. Still a more convincing ripoff than the one of "Still DRE" that Nash has. What do you think a Kevin Nash vs. Billy Gunn match would be like? Stand-up punching? Indeed. Nash does some corner elbows and that long-leg boot choke. Gunn briefly recovers with knees but Nash clotheslines him. Then Gunn starts yanking Nash's bad knees over the apron. The Ultimate X structure gets abused again, this time to hurt Nash's leg. Gunn digs into a toolbox to get a screwdriver and threatens to jab it into Nash's eye. Who in the TNA writer's room loved screwdriver-based eye trauma. It's not the last time that will come up. Nash catapults Gunn TO THE OUTSIDE and begins the furniture face-bashing.

Ref tries to stop Nash from using a chair, for some strange reason. Gunn punches Nash in the cock to even it back up. Gunn nails Nash with the chair but Nash gets his hands up so he's safe from bleeding. Back to the toolbox for Gunn who gets wire cutters and exposes the buckle. Ref again forgets it's No DQ and tries to stop it. Both men try to bash each other's faces into the metal. Big boot by Nash but Snake Eyes countered and Gunn shoves Nash into the referee! That's right, it's a patented Russo REF BUMP! Nash eats buckle, but doesn't bleed. Nut shot to Gunn, and two Snake Eyes to a second exposed buckle busts Gunn open. While Nash tries to wake the ref, Jeff Jarrett shows up and blasts Nash with the belt, and some guy in a coat cleans Gunn off and stops the bleeding. When the ref's out, he sees Nash and calls it.

Traaaaaaash. What is with Russo's obsession with subverting First Blood rules? It's never good. The match sucked too, obviously.

Sky · Sep 5, 2025

Entry #1005
Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff
TNA Impact Wrestling - May 19, 2011

Might as well log this one in the bad match thread, because I'm still meant to be clearing that out. Fuuuuuck. I've not got enough time to do all this before I cancel my sub.

So yeah, we start off with Matt Hardy vs. Nick Jackson (no, I'm not using their TNA names). The basics to kick off, arm wringers, headlocks, shoulderblocks. Nick does a dropkick to get edge. He grabs the arm and the Bucks do a double team move or two including a stomp to the wrung arm. Seemingly out of nowhere Hardy hits the Side Effect a couple of times. On goes a cravate, and I'm fine with these neck rest holds as it sets up the Ice Pick which is a cool move. Nick fights up and the Bucks do a headscissors/dropkick thing. Matt (Jackson) goes for ground-and-pound but Bisch gets a boot in. A bit of Poetry in Motion from the Bucks, then Nick pounds and Bisch gets another kick off.

Hardy takes advantage with his power and does a suplex. Matt J hits a jawbreaker and tries something else but Matt H does a sleeper slam which is a very nice move. He wants to tag Bisch in but Nick hits a splash off the top to the back for two. Nick goes for the big 450 Splash but Matt H gets his knees up. Now Matt J is trapped in the Ice Pick, and Matt H decides he wants to scream while he does the submission. NOW he tags in Bisch, and Matt H holds Matt J up... you Don't Know This Spot, as Bisch does manage to get in his karate kicks before pinning Matt J with a rather well-applied cradle for three.

Not awful, actually, except in its concept. A massive vote of no confidence in the Bucks for no real reason.

Loochblade · Sep 5, 2025

Sky said:
Not awful, actually, except in its concept. A massive vote of no confidence in the Bucks for no real reason.

Yea, they were out the door anyways at that point. Wasn't this one of their last matches in the company?

Sky · Sep 25, 2025

Entry #1006
Shane Sewell vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir
TNA Genesis - January 11, 2009

My interest in 2011 is flagging badly so let's get some of this shit done! And Genesis '09 has some juicy turd nuggets ready to dig out and god I don't want to continue that AVGN-esque metaphor. What I'm trying to say is that I'm covering three of the matches on this show for this thread. Genesis 2009 had some awesome matches (Shelley vs. Sabin, Angle vs. Jarrett No DQ) but it had some dreadful ones too! This is apparently the least dreadful of the dreadful ones, but it's still a referee feuding with a guy with a 9/11 in his entrance music. Let's get stuck in!

Most of Shane's wrestling career is in Puerto Rico and naturally this means he kicks it off with a good old punchfest. Bashir's got to run TO THE OUTSIDE so Shane follows him for BOTO. Furniture bashing my beloved... At least Bashir's more mobile than a WCW guy. Earl Hebner doesn't seem to happy with his fellow ref's conduct. A quick roll-up by Shane is followed by a shoving match. Shane can at least do a good armdrag. Bashir takes a bit of control, screams "ALLAH" for no reason, and then eats a crossbody for two. He runs back to the outside again but gets clobbered on the ramp. Shane eats an atomic drop on the guardrail, Bashir scurries back in and demands a count-out.

We're finally back in the ring and Bashir is getting heat. I'll be generous and say the chinlock that's going on is focusing the neck, as he does a neckbreaker before. It's probably just a rest hold though. Shane starts no-selling and teases a comeback but sucks up a spinebuster for two. Bashir starts to focus Shane's spine, and so the rest hold of choice this time is a waistlock. Shane stumbles over himself (in a botch way) to hit Bashir with a running chop. Now time for Shane's comeback and he does, of all things, a step-up elbow drop to the penis. Bulldog for two, then Shane goes up top for a crossbody for another two. On goes a Charlotte-style Figure Four (the place, not the person) that ends in a rope break.

Shane gets hotshot into the top rope and Bashir lays in punches. He has an argument with Hebner over closed fists, tries to punch the ref, but gets slapped around himself. REFEREE CHASE SPOT! Time for Shane to recover and get a lariat. Sunset flip, with Hebner giving a RAPID count, gets the win. All the refs celebrate with Shane right in front of an elevated camera. Wholesome right there.

Yeah, gotta say this wasn't great. Mostly the basics, though the referee chase did pop me. The sad thing is that it gets worse from here.

Sky · Sep 25, 2025

Entry #1007
Taylor Wilde/ODB/Roxxi vs. The Kongtourage
TNA Knockouts Championship #1 Contender's Match
TNA Genesis - January 11, 2009

The main attraction here is a match that warranted minus 2 stars from Dave. It's amazing how in the time between Gail Kim leaving and Tara arriving, the wheels fell off so badly. Now Awesome Kong's title reign isn't on the big show and she just gets to watch three of her main challengers mess about with her goon squad, including two talentless nothings and an actually good wrestler forced into a burqa. Oh yeah, and it's a singles title contendership decided through a six-woman tag. Why can't you just be normal, Russo?

Taylor vs. Sojo Bolt to start off, and Taylor's so clearly trying to manipulate this stiff's body to do moves. We don't get any fun wrestling stuff with Raisha Saeed (Cheerleader Melissa), mostly her selling. Roxxi does a Reinera though which is nice. As soon as Raisha gets some stuff off on ODB, she just tags in Rhaka Khan. Rhaka is the tallest member of the heel team but doesn't work tall. Or indeed, well. Ref distraction and Taylor is dragged out to get beaten up by the heels. They keep teasing the possibility of heels sabotaging each other for their own title ambitions but the heels are cohesive so far. Really fun spot with Taylor trying to slide through Raisha's legs but Raisha grabbing her leg. Surfboard stomps, then Sojo comes in with an elbow to the back of the head.

Crowd doesn't care about anything but ODB. Sojo rest hold ends when Taylor escapes and does a bulldog for a double down. ODB is the house on proverbial fire and slams everyone. She can't slam Rhaka so does her fallaway slam and kip-up instead. Powerslam on Raisha for two. Match breaks down into brawling and the crowd does not pop at all. Roxxi tries to hold two heels for a Taylor crossbody but trips over herself. Raisha attacks ODB but gets caught in a small package for a really flat three. Out comes Kong for the requisite staredown and a really botchy brawl with all seven women.

Booked like a piss break, worked like a piss break, Rhaka Khan sucks, the finish was lame, the crowd didn't care - what is happening to ODB's division?

Sky · Sep 25, 2025

Entry #1008
Sting (c) vs. Rhino
for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship
TNA Genesis - January 11, 2009

We finish off our look at Genesis '09 with a main event that strangely fails to break the 1-star mark. Sting, a man who clearly didn't want to be in a heel faction, is in the Main Event Mafia but also doesn't like the Main Event Mafia leader and gets pops anyway. Rhino was attacked and is bloody with a hurt back. Recipe for a glorified angle, right there.

Earl Hebner gets booed, despite all the good work he did in Shane's match. Rhino doesn't care about his injuries, he just wants to brawl Sting up. Crowd is booing him despite being the face. TO THE OUTSIDE where Rhino favours the back while gently furniture-bashing. Sting dodges a charge and Rhino eats guardrail so now Sting's on top. Rhino takes a belt shot indirectly when Sting bashes his face into the announce table. He then goes up top but Sting "nope" shoves him off. When Rhino manages to crawl back in Sting puts on a bearhug (because Charlotte never left the '70s behind). Rhino battles out but Sting gets in a gut shot and puts on another. Crowd loves Sting despite him playing heel and slowing the match to a crawl.

Rhino gets a shoulderblock off and does his comeback, hitting a belly-to-belly for two. GORE GORE GORE but Sting rolls out. Tenay tries his hardest to explain that this isn't a real Gore because it wasn't the finish. Rhino goes up top and just finds mat. Really lightly applied Scorpion Deathlock, Rhino tries to get a rope break but Sting drags him back. He tries to reapply it but Rhino kicks away. Belly-to-belly, then a far-too-slow Gore which Sting obviously dodges. Scorpion Death Drop finishes it. Sting gets cheered and heads off. Why is he in the Main Event Mafia again?

Turgid stuff. Rhino slowed down every move to sell his back, but sold pretty much nothing else. So much time wasting, so much WCW main event-tier stuff, brawling on the outside and rest holds. The crowd didn't care for heel Sting and it showed.

CFCrusader · Sep 25, 2025

Sky said:
Entry #936
Bully Ray vs. Raj Dhesi
Tables Match
MLP Forged in Excellence - October 19, 2024

Note: this entry was written on October 25, 2024.

I normally try to avoid Bad Matches that are from the same calendar year, so as not to knee-jerk into "this is the worst match of the year" and pre-empt my own anti-awards (nominations open December 1 as usual, though by the time you see this the winners will already be announced). But I was watching through MLP's excellent Forged in Excellence show and this match came up. A match that the Cagematch hivemind hated. Its current 0.91/10 rating suggests that this is worse than, for example, Piper vs. Mr. T, the Kennel from Hell, the Yapapi Indian Strap Match, and both Orton/Wyatt Mania matches. And I thought I might as well save myself a bit of work for the future, right? So here it is. The first "bad" match of this young company's existence. Is it that bad, or is it just misunderstood?

We kick off with Bully Ray backstage, promoing to camera. I remember when "do you know who I am" was beginning as a catchphrase. I was there. He's got the audacity to call Jinder (and yes, I will call him Jinder throughout this match) a fraud ex-World Champ. He wants Sam Leterna to announce both his WWE and TNA Halls of Fame, and that he's a damn handsome man. Seems he forgot that he's also in the Hardcore Hall of Fame. After Jinder's entrance, Bully gets Sam to tell everyone to sit down and shut up. He threatens to leave if they shout Maharaja any more which is a great heel move. He then continues to insist that Jinder will never put him through a table. That's what begins the match.

Jinder's got the edge right away, punching all around and hitting a high knee. Bully's dumped TO THE OUTSIDE and so we continue to there. Crowd wants tables already, despite being guaranteed tables later. Impatient Canadian fucks I tells ya. After a slight BOTO phase Bully uses Sam as a human shield before pie-facing Jinder and using a mic on him. Bully goes to shit-talk Scott D'Amore's mother but Jinder uses this to take advantage. Out come a chair and a couple of kendo sticks. But he can't use it when Bully counters with an eye gouge. Bully lays in a few kendo stick shots and heels it up for the crowd. He then uses the stick to stab Jinder's throat. More shots at Scott's mother.

Bully's been clashing with the ref through his heat, and eventually seems to calm down before BUMPING THE REF. If there was ever a match to do a ref bump in, it's this! Jinder beins the caning, slams Bully... and tells the ref to GO UP TOP! A REF WAZZUP SPOT!! "My Balls" -Bully, as in every match. The ref and Jinder do a "get the tables" together!! "Sam, get here and take care of my balls" -Bully. That could easily be taken out of context. Bully shoves Raj into the ref which bumps him AGAIN, which means the resulting chokeslam table bump doesn't count. QT Marshall is out with a chain, clocking Jinder with it and pulling him into the table wreckage. That's good enough for the ref! Bully wins! He's about to clock Jinder with the chair until BHUPINDER comes out for the save.

GREEN MATCH. FUCK YOU CAGEMATCH. YOU'RE WRONG. YOU'RE SO WRONG. The purest of pure sports entertainment.

I'm really late to this, but nonetheless this is a nice write-up of the match. I was also shocked to see the Cagematch score. I think I gave it a 4. The match is alright, fairly entertaining at points (the ref wazzup spot is hilarious).

If only Bully could stfu and get on with it. He gets heat, does it a bit more, and then it starts to get a bit uncomfortable. And then later in the match he wants more heat (the comment about his balls to Sam was weird imo). If only Scott had told Bully he has a strict time limit

Sky · Oct 1, 2025

Entry #1009
Malice vs. Don Harris
Last Man Standing Match
NWA-TNA PPV #9 - August 14, 2002

Here's another one to get out of the way, I guess. The Wall as a Satanist meets a Harris brother in a hardcore match. I'm not watching this on TNA+ because it's not on there. Apparently Don coming out in an SS shirt was not a particularly long-sighted decision, especially as an alleged babyface! Anyway, here's a 1.56/10. I hope it's not just for the shirt.

Malice does some shitty looking punches then gets uranage'd. We're 15 seconds in when Don hits Malice in the head with a chair. A second causes the damn thing to cave in. Malice does manage to get up before the ten, and pulls out some powder to give himself the edge. One more salvo of powder, and then a chair to the head of his own. Whip to the guardrail, then a bit of punchy-punchy up the ramp. Malice lightly shoves Don off the stage. There's a long shot of him prepping a chain, so Don's recovery comes out of nowhere and he uses the chain himself. Back in the ring Malice swings a chair but gets it big booted into him.

Don gets the tables. Malice reverses a whip and hits a powerbomb. Chokeslam tease but Don reverses into a DDT. Malice gets Don up on the corner and hits a top rope back suplex, but it's his back that goes through the table. As a result Don and his SS shirt get to their feet before the ten while Maliss doesn't. We end with a fist bump and show of respect. That ends the last televised feud Jerry Tuite ever had, but sadly not the last one the Harris boys ever had.

Okay, yes, that was shite for reasons other than the shirt. Two immobile guys hitting each other with plunder and having zero flow.

Emb · Oct 1, 2025

Can you see Eddie Edwards vs Jay Lethal from PWG All Star Weekend 9 being bad? I once saw someone actually call it the worst match of 2013.

Sky · Oct 1, 2025

Entry #1010
Malice vs. Don Harris
First Blood Match
NWA-TNA PPV #8 - August 7, 2002

Fuck it, why not look at its predecessor. First Blood between these two big useless lads. At least this one made TNA+. Tonight I'll be doing two Don-only matches and two Ron-only matches, just to keep them even.

At least Don isn't in an SS shirt this time. The brawling starts on the ramp, just so we can get right into the furniture-bashing. Malice gets a chair but eats a big boot with it. Whipping into the rail, because wrestlers most commonly bleed from their back. Into the crowd we go, and it's just mindless walking and punching. With the occasional chair shot. Don bashes Malice's head into the rail and then finally uses the first chair shot to the head. Then out of nowhere Malice comes back just to enable a bit of punching in the bleachers. God, I hate this sort of Russo-ism. They're still in the crowd and the crowd only gives a shit because they're on TV. Hey, at least James Mitchell's on commentary and actually furthering the character.

Finally back on the ramp (how odd that I'm looking forward to that). Don tosses Malice off the stage. Slash shows up and pulls out a spike, but Don steals it and takes Slash out. This makes him bleed, and I'm shocked that Russo booking didn't end it this way. Malice manages to recover, Slash starts bating on Don again. Don deals with Slash and Mitchell (who is now covered in blood and it's debatable whose). Back in the ring, a shitty side slam. And yet, somehow, Don is the one bleeding. So Malice wins by a fluke! Great finish there. New Church beats Don up and fuck this company.

Fuck this match.

Sky · Oct 1, 2025

Entry #1011
Ron Harris/Sonny Siaki vs. Rick Michaels/Chris Michaels
NWA World Tag Team Championship #1 Contender's Match
NWA-TNA PPV #16 - October 9, 2002

And to make sure neither Harris Brother has an advantage over the other, here's two of the matches of the other Nazi's separate run in TNA. God, kill me now. He's teaming with Siaki to take on the Michaels (no relation to each other or any other Michaels in wrestling, somehow) in a storyline where he was separated from Don for no reason and now is trying to find partners before he eventually reunites with Don. How very Russo. 2.38/10 says Cagematch, I don't doubt it.

Rick's the one in the green headband, just to remind myself. Ron beats Chris up and tosses him about weakly. Not like a sack of shit, more like a pillow of shit. Siaki does the basics on Rick, gets a couple of two-counts. Rick has lost the headband already. Crowd is eerily silent especially when Rick is doing moves on Siaki. Ron mostly dominates Chris and doesn't sell anything despite taking a couple of bumps. Ron bundles Rick out so Siaki can do the most basic WCW on-the-outside offence on the outside. Tenay describes a tag as a display of teamwork. "Sonny sucks" chants. He does an uppercut and a superkick which reminds me of Ernest "The Cat" Miller. Could Russo have been turning Siaki into one of his favourites? Probably.

Anyway, Rick does a facebreaker into a neckbreaker. Looks like there's going to be a comeback spot but Super Ron Harris shuts that shit right down. Siaki does a belly-to-belly on the floor that somehow draws TNA chants. Ron's idea of a fast-paced spot is letting his opponent pinball about, strolling towards him, and hitting a clothesline. Chris manages to get Siaki with a forearm. Everyone's in the ring, structure breaks down. Ron overpowers Chris while Siaki hits Rick with the Samoan Pop. Ron breaks up the pin for no goddamn reason so he can do a big boot finish.. but kicks Siaki by mistake. You Know This Spot. That's the finish. there's a post-match brawl which Ron wins, and then Don shows up as a security guy to chuck Siaki out.

Depressing stuff. Ron Harris just burying all the offence, always looking good even in defeat. Crap.

Sky · Oct 1, 2025

Entry #1012
BG James vs. Ron Harris
NWA World Heavyweight Championship Contender's Tournament First Round
NWA-TNA PPV #19 - October 30, 2002

And for my last match tonight, it's Ron Harris in singles. God help us all. At least he's against an established name so he won't bury everyone. Hopefully. For an added wrinkle in this singles bit of toilet paper, Don Harris is special guest referee. 2.69/10 says Cagematch, I don't doubt it.

Ron does some trash corner brawling but Don breaks him up. He stops both men from using closed fists. ROPE CHOKING! Ron drops some elbows. This match goes to PiP with Jeff Jarrett beating the shit out of Curt Hennig on the other screen. I wasn't paying attention to the match during the PiP but I doubt I missed anything. James gets two off a knee drop but is deluded into thinking it was three. Back to backstage again when Hennig is being taped up. ON GOES THE CHINLOCK! At least it breaks up after the PiP is over. James recovers and does some top rope punches but Don yanks him away from his position. Ron gets a free big boot.

Out comes Bob Armstrong, with a half-working mic, to fire Don Harris as referee. This is secondary to another Jarrett/Hennig PiP by the way. Don says he's calling it fair and Bob is trying to protect his son. Don goes up the ramp to punch out the old man. James does a roll-up and replacement ref fast-counts the three. Justice for Ron Ha-- wait no, no justice for him.

Really sad, dull, overbooked stuff.

Sky · Oct 2, 2025

Entry #1013
Teo vs. Hollywood
NWA-TNA PPV #1 - June 19, 2002

This'll be a "short" feature, as I take a look at all three matches of what TNA called its Midgets Division. Little people were all over the show in early TNA, but I'm surprised to see they only got in the ring three times total. And no, none of them involves the incident where Puppet pulled a gun. The "World's Smallest Extreme Athlete" takes on a dwarf with no Cagematch profile, and it's gonna suck. Let's not enjoy it.

Hollywood's some kind of edgy punk type who brawls Teo in the corner to start. Then there's a part where I have no idea what happens, Teo tries a crossbody, I think Hollywood's trying to turn it into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but everyone just stumbles over. Teo does his most extreme move, a Vader Bomb headbutt to the penis. Mounted punches, and Teo humps Hollywood in the face like he's a cage dancer. Hollywood does a powerslam for two, then gets rolled up. Hollywood does a LARIATO and goes up to hit his flying splash finisher, but Teo kicks out. Night 1, and some poor guy's finish is already buried. Soon after, Teo does a Russian legsweep and a weirdly side-on Swanton to finish it.

Really sloppy, but at least they tried.

Sky · Oct 2, 2025

Entry #1014
Puppet the Psycho Dwarf vs. Todd Stone
Hardcore Match
NWA-TNA PPV #3 - July 3, 2002

Match 2 of this run is the first of two in-ring appearances by the antagonist of the little people league, the "Midget Killer" himself. He only did hardcore matches, so you know what that says about his conditioning.

"Midgets scare me" sign. Puppet grabs a mic and demands a short fellow to murder. Stone can't get in the ring before he's mashed with a kendo stick and a bin to the head. Puppet then does a scoop slam on to said bin, before trotting out the classic put-a-bin-over-opponent's-head-and-hit-it spot. Puppet does his alleged finisher, a not-quite F-5 on to the bin, and that's it. He then hits the ref and Borash with the kendo stick just for fun. Don West wants to congratulate Puppet but gets it in the face too. Okay, that's funny.

Otherwise, absolutely nothing in this match.

Sky · Oct 2, 2025

Entry #1015
Puppet the Psycho Dwarf vs. Meatball
Hardcore Match
NWA-TNA PPV #5- July 17, 2002

Our third and final TNA Midget Division match features Puppet making a repeat showing against Meatball, whose gimmick is that he's fat and eats a lot. So, like if Bastion Booger were four and a half feet tall. I wish he had been, that way Vince would never have glanced at the guy. This, by the way, is the match Puppet chose to prep for by wanking in a bin. It's the only one long enough to warrant a Cagematch rating - a pathetic 0.45/10. Worse than the Mud ROTC Match? Really? Let's find out.

Meatball has a trolley full of snacks which he takes a bag of cheesy puffs from. Puppet uses the bin just as he did with Stone, bulldogging him on to it for two. He tosses the bin to Meatball and kicks him with it. Meatball dumps him outside, does a double axe handle, and slams him on the ramp. He then does a cartwheel ("more like a Wagon Wheel" -Ferrara) into an elbow drop. Over to the food trolley where we get an honest to goodness pie in the face spot. After an abuse of spray cheese, Puppet reclaims the advantage with a nut shot. The resulting weapons include a big bag of flower and a watermelon to the face. There's a pineapple in the area, too, and no one manages to use it. That's what qualifies this for this thread right there.

The food thing seems to be done now, as we're on the ramp and Puppet uses a bin lid, a chair, and the steps (indirectly). Tornado DDT off the steps, allegedly (it just looked like both guys were stumbling) for two. Meatball is struggling to move about for two obvious reasons (his height and his weight). Rope-draped leg drop on to a chair by Puppet, then he does a cakey-faced Vader Bomb on to a chair for the win.

So, so poor. The sad part is that I can see the food fight spots being part of a green match involving two people who know what they're doing with hardcore and comedy. Come to think of it, what was Norman Smiley doing on this show? Jobbing to Truth in three minutes, apparently.

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Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

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