Donnie watches NWA-TNA 2002

[BigVanDonnie]

I'm back (and better than ever)

These are reviews i've been doing for the last couple of years on another board, so i figured it was best to drop them here so i can keep reviewing wrestling's Rasputin.

NWA-TNA PPV#1
June 19th, 2002
Huntsville, Alabama

Don freaking West makes his way down the ramp and introduces his broadcast partners, Mike Tenay (meh) and Ed Ed Ferrara (Fuck off). Tenay speaks about how TNA is all about respecting the history of the NWA, and they will continue that tonight. He says the NWA Worlds title will be on the line in the Gauntlet for the Gold, a 20 man battle royal where the last two men will wrestle a singles match for the title tonight.

Borash introduces a host of legends, Harley Race, Dory Funk Jr, Jackie Fargo, Bob Armstrong, Corsica Joe & Sara Lee.. NWA vice president Bill Behrens also comes out, as does Ricky Steamboat with the NWA title. I just learnt it was meant to be Dan Severn defending the belt on the show, but he bailed so its vacant. Ricky does an awesome promo about what it means to be the champion of a chosen sport and how the NWA title is the pinnacle of this one. Some music hits and out walks Jeff Jarrett. He says the belt being on the line in a battle royal is a joke (way to sell the match, ya dope) Fargo gets pissy about Jeff stealing the strut, so he makes Jeff the #1 entrant. Totally fair. More music hits and Ken Shamrock strolls out with the awesome mutton chops. He says he agrees that the match is a joke, but he's in it to win it. Hey, fuck you too, I'm glad you get nuked by Tito. An actual awesome song starts playing and Wrestling's Real Outlaw, Scott Halls comes through the crowd. Hey, wouldn't you know it, he says the match is a joke as well. HOLY FUCK, GO SUCK 2 COLD'S DICK. He's in it as well. Jeff promises revenge before walking off to end this abortion.

Backstage:

He wants to have sex with Goldilocks. Also, he hates midgets and wants to kill them.

Vince Russo is booking, just in case you didn't notice.

Match#1 AJ Styles, Low Ki & Jerry Lynn vs The Flying Elvis' (Jorge Estrada, Sonny Siaki & Jimmy Yang.
How fitting that AJ is in the first match. This is really fun and sets the tone of what's to come with AJ and Ki being amazing and forcing everyone to up their stuff. Lynn does his tired ass routine, and it warms my heart to see him get smoked by the future (its also builds into a future feud, so it could be intentional. Or, Lynn is boring toolbox that never changed his stuff) Yang is the standout for his team as his partners are pretty dull. Tenay says the face trio will be in a round robin match next week to crown the first X-Division Champion. Match Escalates really well before shit breaks down as its tends to. Everyone goes nuts with big moves and gets time to shine. Ki accidentally murders AJ with a gross kick, and Yang hits his Corkscrew aka Yang Time to get the upset. Incredibly fitting that AJ eats the pin.
***

Teo vs Hollywood (Midget Match)
This is actually a ton of fun for the few minutes it goes. Teo is fast as hell and breaks out some cool stuff. Hollywood does some alright stuff of his own, but this is Teo's match. He takes with a Swanton
**1/4

There's a long segment building to a Lingerie Battle Royal next week that's being hosted by Ed and Don. It ends with a catfight between Francine and Elecktra after some SHOOTZ about the death of ECW.

Backstage, Goldilocks is with some nerdy dude named Mortimer Plumtree. He's taken his former bullies and made them a team called The Johnson's. They're here to take over

VINCE RUSSO WAS HERE.

Match#3 The Johnson's w/Plumtree vs James Storm & Psychosis
What a random team to be put on PPV. Even weirder for our cowboy James Storm to get his start here of all places, but I'll take it. This is mostly a shitty squash for the future Gymini, and i don't want to feel the need to bang on about it. One of them hits an awful TKO to win.
BRO

Backstage, Goldilocks meets the Dupps. Bo, Stan and Fluff. They're cousins and lovers. Also, Stan is the future Trevor Murdoch! Behrens walks over and says they aren't allowed to be drunk when wrestling.

Two NASCAR racers, Sterling Marlin & Hermie Sadler come out to the ring to promote their sport. I'd skip this, but K-KRUSH aka Ron Killings comes out to stop it. He says they're not real athletes and they should leave his ring before he makes them. Hermie dresses Truth down, and says how can he be an athlete looking the way he looks (oh no) Truth rightly goes to knock this fuckhead out cold, but Brian Christopher of all people makes the save. He challenges him to a match next week. Guess, Road Dogg was busy.

Backstage, Double J is choking the life out of Fargo! Refs and blackshirts pulls him off.

Match#4 The Dupps w/Fluff vs Christian York and Joey Matthews
I'd long forgotten this team were a thing, which is mean because they're pretty fun to watch. Dupps are solid as well, so this is a fun few minutes of action. Fluff causes a distraction and York gets pulled off the top rope and beaten for his troubles
**1/4

Toby Keith's music video is played

He then comes out to sing his song "Angry American". Double J eventually pushes him out of the way and some blackshirts stop Toby from trying to fight him.

Match#5 GAUNTLET FOR THE GOLD (NWA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP)
#1 is Jeff
#2 is Buff Bagwell
Random
They have a decent 40 seconds before Jeff throws him over and out.
#3 is Lash LaRoux
Very Random
Jeff beats the shit out of him for a few seconds before dropping him with the Stroke.
Lash is thrown out
#4 is Norman Smiley!
BIG WIGGLE
Jeff squashes him like an asshole and throws him out
Fuck you, Jeff
#5 is Gran Apolo
He's a big meathead that they try to push for a while before realising he sucks.
Jeff gets some decent stuff out of him, but nothing to write home about.
#6 is K-Krush
He's all fired up and helps make the match fun for a brief moment
#7 is Slash
Father James Mitchell is with him as his manager and leader of the Disciples of the New Church
He's pretty good, so TNA lets Apolo beat him up in crappy fashion.
Jeff finally cuts him off and the heels beat on him
#8 is Del Rios

The fans pop like crazy until they realise the ruse
Also,
LOLTNA
He sucks
#9 is Justice aka ABYSS
He throws some shoddy looking boots and looks really awkward.
BLACK HOLE SLAM ON FAKE SCOTTY
#10 is Konnan
Damn it
He cleans house with his rolling Lariat and blows himself up
"WELL, WELL, WELL"
Skinny Joel Gertner is here
He says he'll mess the sheets up, but first he's managing the Rainbow Express
Lenny and Bruce.
Lodi broke his neck, so this Bruce dude is taking his place
He's not very good of course
This sucks
#12 is Rick Steiner
Still dressed like WCW 99
Enjoy that, Simon
Poor unfortunate bastard
STEINERLINES
He suplexes Slash out
Steinerlines Justice out
#13 is MALICE
AKA THE WALL, BROTHER
HE CHOKESLAMS EVERYONE
Shitty Konnan sandbags on one, So Truth DIES on the next to make up for it
Love Truth so much
Bruce is out
Bye Truth
Fake Scotty is also thrown
FUCK YOU, KONNAN
He did a shitty half arsed bump over the top
Malice lowbridges Rick out
#14 is Scott Hall
He's got a big ol gut
Good punches, though
Scott/Jeff fight as that's the big feud, and while it not great, its fine
#15 is TOBY KEITH
He does an awesome suplex on Jeff, then he and Scott throw him over
Good angle
The faces beat the shit out of Malice
His bumping rules
#16 is Chris Harris
Fuck Yeah
He's ALL fired up
Looks like a breakout star
Vampire Warrior jumps the gun and runs in and beats up Harris
You can see TNA blew their load on their big names and now we're stuck with old losers
#18 is CROWBAR
Big pop
He looks rusty, but he'll get it back
Harris is the best man in the match
Malice is second
#19 is Steve Corino!!!!
He's in his prime and is PERFECT for the NWA
So this is of course the only time he shows up in 02 because he hated Russo, and he won't be back for a year.
He keeps the fun going with his sheer awesomeness
#20 is Shamrock
He throws kicks and KO's everyone
He tries it with Malice but he gets dropped like a sack of shit
HELL YEAH
Turns out i fucked the count as Brian Christopher is the last man
My bad
He dumps Harris, Warrior and Crowbar in quick fashion
booooooooo
He gets rid of Corino next
Fuck
BUT MALICE KILLS HIM WITH THE CHOKESLAM
MALICE RULES
Shamrock throws Brian out
FINAL FOUR
MALICE, Shamrock, Hall and Apolo
Apolo gets back droped out by Malice
He then counters the Edge and backdrops Hall out and he takes a header into the mat
WE ARE DOWN TO TWO
**1/2

Match#6 MALICE W/ Father James Mitchell vs Ken Shamrock (NWA World Heavyweight Championship-Rick Steamboat as Guest Referee)
Might as well count this as its own match considering what's on the line, and Ricky being the ref.Plus, JB does the intros. So, its another match. Super fun 5 minutes and the start of a cool feud. MALICE kicks the fuck out of him in awesome fashion, and Ken rules from fighting from underneath. Ken is the first man to counter the chokeslam with a killer armbar. Lots of drama as MALICE uses brute strength to slowly drag Ken to the ropes. He sells the arm as he fights back, but its a red herring as Ken catches a boot into the Ankle Lock! MALICE reaches the ropes but that crooked Ricky lets Ken pull him back and keep the hold on. He gets the ropes again and Ken refuses to let it go despite the 5 count, and Ricky still won't DQ him. BULLSHIT. He finally lets it go, but MALICE is fucked up. His selling rules again, and he evens smiles at a point. He goozlees this cheating fuck, but Ken breaks free and hits a gross Belly to Belly to win the belt
***
MALICE is now the top face, and Ken and Ricky can suck a dick

Ed likens this win to an "R" word winning the special Olympics. FUCK OFF, YOU CUNT

Of course this doesn't end the night. No, we get Jeff, Toby and Fargo yelling at each backstage. Jeff comes out to the ring and bitches again about the title match. He screams at Harley, B.A and Dory about how they never had to win the belt like this. He drops Bullet with a punch, before Toby and Fargo run out and make Jeff vs Scott for next week. Jeff and Scott fight to end this.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02


NWA-TNA PPV#2
June 26th, 2002
Huntsville, Alabama

TONIGHT: A ROUND ROBIN TOURNAMENT FOR THE INAUGURAL X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP. DOUBLE J VS HALL

Recap of last week kicks us off

Tenay says Psychosis is in the tournament. No clue how he earned that, but AJ also ate the pin and he's in it, so fuck it

Double J storms down and demands the match now. Hall obliges, so now the X-Division will rightly main event

Match#1 Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Hall w/Toby Keith & Jackie Fargo
Jeff carries the load like he did in 95 because he never lost it, and despite his atrocious booking we can't forget that. He takes massive bumps and makes Scott look like awesome. The "faces" keep fucking with Jeff, and i can only imagine this is Russo fucking with me. Jeff's control seg is fine enough, but you can him holding it back to make Scott's comeback look better. It works, so another plus for Jeff. K-Krush saves Jeff from the Edge and punches and out Hall, but once again the shitty ref doesn't DQ anyone and it just keeps going. Christopher runs him off. The ref is dealing with shit, so Toby low blows Jeff and they hit a double stroke and Hall steals it
**
Every face in the company fucking sucks.

Recap of the catfight from last week

Match#2 CHEEX w/BROWN EYE GIRL vs Frank Parker

This fat lumbering fucker broke the ring last week in a dark match, and now he has a terrible squash. Also, he was trained by an Anderson. Going to assume they mean Ken
LOLTNA

Tenay says next week it will be Hall/Christopher vs Jeff/Krush. I smell a SWERVE

Oh, during that horrible match, Alicia aka Ryan Shamrock walked out and got money from JB. She's an escort. Vince Russo is my enemy.

Recap of the racist NASCAR fucks treating Truth like shit.

Match#3 K-Krush vs Brian Christopher w/NASCAR Fucks
Once again the heel is out numbered. Nothing is ever easy with TNA. Tenay says Ron was trained by noted coke dealer, Manny Fernandez. They have really good chemistry, so we get a fun 5 mintues before the bullshit hits. Truth's offence is WAY better suited to being a face, but he does a good enough job as a heel to make it work. The NASCAR fucks crotch Truth on the ropes when he goes after them after THEY fucked with him first. FUCK YOU. HIP HOP DROP ends it
**

Match#4 Miss TNA Ligerie Battle Royal.
Sasha, Francine, Miss Joni, Shannon, Alexis Laree, Erin, Tyler, Elektra, Taylor Vaughn. JB fucks ALL the intros up and Tenay starts burying him. Fuck you. This is horrible, or course. Francine gets thrown out and Ed tires to help her up, so she fakes a blowjob and dick punches him for reasons.

This should be the new sub header imo

Vaughn wins after stripping Elektra
BRO THIS WILL GET US ON THE FRONT OF USA TODAY, BRO

Backstage, Goldilocks interviews Apolo. GROSS. Bobcat and David Young walk over and talk shit until we get a match out of it

Match#5 David Young w/Bobcat vs Gran Apolo
DY is underrated as hell. Just a super solid wrestler that you can depend on for a great TV match. Apolo sucks, so this is mostly him in control. Bobcat loves all the attention from the fans and JB, and she keeps distracting DY when he has a chance to win. He misses a moonsault, and gets beaten by a dreadful looking TKO
*3/4

I got a feeling someone is going to have save this show. Wonder who that might be.

in the ring, Joel Gertner does his thing (I'd transcribe but this isn't ECW, and it looks like his heart isn't really into it) He brings the Rainbow Express out for their match against the Dupps. They don't come out and we find them backstage with Goldilocks. They refuse to fight alternative lifestyle wrestlers, so an NWA official looks around the area and sees Chis Harris and James Storm walking in. He asks them to be in the match, and they agree because why not? AMW HAS BEEN BORN

#Match6 Chris Harris & James Storm vs Rainbow Express w/Gertner
The GOAT TNA tag team is here and all is right for a brief moment. I'll call them by the real name once it comes just to keep it fair. They've got chemistry off the bat, and Tenay mentions they had a classic at an NWA show a few weeks before. Love that they give us backstory to make us care. Little things. Speaking of, to get the gay gimmick over, RE kiss each others hands for the tag, and the fans HATE it. So does Don West because he doesn't want that pushed on him. They control James for a few minutes and its fine enough, but Harris' hot tag is the best part. SO much damn fire. RE miscommunicate when trying to stop it, and Harris rolls Lenny up for 3!
**

In he ring, Steamboat is here in a ref's shirt. He puts the show over and stuff, before bringing in the guy he helped win last week, Shamrock. Again, fuck them both. Ken does the proud fighting champ speech before Father James shows up to cut him off. He says he needed to stop this before he vomits. He calls the fans crackers for some reason. He says he is on a mission from HIS God and they will take the belt to gain control of it all. He challenges him to fight a member of the New Church next week, Ken nods his head in agreement. SLASH comes out and Don is sad because he wanted MALICE. Me, too. Ken calls this a joke, and says we should do this now. NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, MALICE SLIDES IN FROM BEHIND AND KILLS HIM WITH THE CHOKESLAM. HELL YES, MALICE. Ricky tries to save his shitty friend along with a mountain of Blackshirts, but MALICE kills them all and keeps choking him. Mitchell calls him and MALICE leaves. James says might is right and the meek shall inherent nothing. Good times.

Recap of the 6 man. Ed says the Flying Elvis' are pissed they aren't in it despite winning last week.

Match#7 Round Robin Tournament for the X-Division Championship. AJ Styles vs Low Ki vs Psychosis vs Jerry Lynn
Rules state that once you are pinned twice you're out, and the last man standing wins. Steamboat will ref the final match. Because TNA makes my brain hurt, I'm not sure if i should cover it as one match, or count all the different ones. I'll make it two like last time, i guess. AJ/Psychosis starts us off and its s super fun 3 minutes. AJ survives the Legdrop, and counters a rana into the Clash for 3. Ki is in next. AJ breaks out the awesome rana from his back, and it BLOWS Don's mind. Ki kicks the dog shit out of him and its just the best. Can't wait for the matches later in the year. AJ dies on everything and makes Ki looks like an absolute killer. SHOCKINGLY, AJ nukes him with a Lariat and hits a facebuster to beat Ki clean. Holy shit. Lynn rushes AJ like a coward and beats him in ten seconds with the Cradle Piledriver. Psychosis is back in. Lynn again does his boring routine and mostly eats Psyc up, aside from one awesome dive. Lynn beats him with the Cradle. fucking hell. Ki is back in and livens the mood by beating the piss out of this twatbag. The skill difference between the two is insane, and i'm SO happy TNA actually goes with Lynn as the old man trying to hang onto the dying light. Sadly, it means Lynn has to beat Ki to show he's not 100% dead yet. To his credit he does let Ki get a ton of offence to look as awesome as possible. He fights out of the Ki-Crusher with a gross DDT and hits the Cradle to beat him. Low Ki just lost clean twice in 15 minutes. HOLY SHIT
**3/4

Match#8 AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn (X-Divison Championship. Ricky Steamboat as guest referee)
This gets 15 + and AJ knocks it out of the park in his first big singles match in TNA, as he drags this old man to a banger. The 2 pin rule is still in effect so AJ needs to beat him twice, while Lynn only needs one. Lynn plays his role well and lets AJ look like the star he is. AJ breaks out INSANE shit like a moonsualt off Lynn's chest, and even in 2020 you have to marvel at how wild that is. Lynn is able to cut him off for brief moments because AJ is too overzealous (which is a long running theme for him) and he beats him up pretty well, but he can never cut him off for long. AJ is able to fight back and he hits a super quick Clash to steal a win! Steamboat now takes over as ref. Lazy fuck. The next fall starts off with fucking rollup sequence. GODDAMN YOU, LYNN. They get back to a real match after that and AJ gets it back on track. He hits the Stylin DDT off the apron, and its another moment of AJ being too much for this grandpa. He gets cut off when he tries another and then he DIES off Lynn's shit, and forces him to do new cool shit and make this dramatic as hell.
WATCH THIS

PHENOMENAL
Finishing run is really good and that drama never loses itself, or feels forced. Lynn does his old tricks that always work but not this time. He gets mad and starts laying in shots as he realises he can't do it. They fight on top and AJ knocks him off AND HE BREAKS OUT THE ACE IN THE HOLE WITH THE SPIRAL TAP TO WIN THE BELT
***1/2

AJ STYLES HAS ARRIVED

Back as the desk, Tenay says next week we will see a one night tournament for the vacant NWA Tag Team Titles. Plus, Hall/Christopher vs Krush/Jeff, and Shamrock vs MALICE for the NWA Title.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION; AJ STYLES-since 26/6/02

NWA-TNA PPV#3
July 3rd, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee

TONIGHT; A TOURNAMENT TO CROWN THE NWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. SHAMROCK VS MALICE. AJ VS DAVID YOUNG. KRUSH/JEFF VS HALL/CHRISTOPHER.

At ringside, NWA president Jim Miller comes out puts the show over. He gives Tenay a trophy to welcome them to the NWA. He says he met Omori in Japan, and he's going to face the winner of the NWA title match.

Match#1 James Storm & Chris Harris vs The Johnson's w/Mortimer Plumtree (Quarterfinals)
Fuck off, Russo. AMW put on their working boots tonight by dragging these losers to a perfectly fine 3 minute match. Storm gets isolated and bumps really well, and once again Harris' hot tag rules so, so much. They don't let these idiots get back into it, and a dropkick from Storm to send Harris on top of one of them is enough for 3
*3/4

Post match, Johnson's beat up Mortimer.

in the ring, JB introduces Scott Hall. HEY YO, Jeff walks out before he can say anymore. He tells Scott to go back to here he came from, BITCH. Scott tells him not sing it, but to bring it. They go to fight but Miller stops it from happening because he's sick of Jeff running roughshod. Krush attacks Scott, but Scott easily fights back and throws him out of the ring. Fuck all of this.

Backstage, we find AMW laying a pool of blood. An NWA rep demands they get a doctor

Abyss; music hits..AND OUT COMES THE ALPHA MALE, MONTY BROWN. POUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCE. Period. He says he's here to fight Shamrock and this is how he'll show it.

Match#2 Monty Brown vs Anthony Ingram
Awesome debut squash from another guy TNA will ruin in the next few years. He's throws this fat loser all over the ring, and its a ton of fun to watch. He nails an awesome sitout powerbomb called the ALPHA BOMB for the win
**
Backstage, Goldilocks tries to find Miller but he's MIA. Puppet runs on and demands to fight some midgets like Coleman or Mini Me. Russo, please feel free to fall into the void.

Backstage, we find Goldy interviewing Buff Bagwell and Apolo. They're in the tournament. Neither can speak well enough for me to want to watch this.

Match#3 Rainbow Express w/Joel Gertner vs Gran Apolo & Buff Bagwell (Quarterfinals)
This horrible! Lenny is the best guy in the match, and that's a very low bar. Alicia walks out and gets money from Ed this week. Buff acts like an asshole and stops trying to get the win, which in turn allows Lenny to Superkick him for the win
1/2*

Post match, he cries a lot and says Buff is dead, and from now he's Marcus. He's going home. I can only hope he never comes back.

In the ring, JB call out Shamrock who walks on the stage. He says he doesn't care about, Monty but he'll fight him and make it so he has a short career. He promises to end MALICE and send him home with his head up his ass. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. Father James shows up in the crowd and says Ken need not worry about any other challengers, he just needs to fear MALICE. The lights go out and when they come back on, MALICE is standing over a dead Ken. Don is very mad, as Ken hold his neck.

Backstage, we find Bill Berhens on the phone, as Lynn is telling him that he can find a partner to fight for the belts. Bill tells him to fuck off, and we go back to the ring.

Match#4 Puppet vs Todd Stone.
Puppet beats the shit out of him with plunda, and its cool enough. He hits Stone with a stunner on a trash can for the win
*3/4

Post match, Puppet beats the ref and Don West with a cane.

Backstage, Goldy is in the trainers room checking on Ken. He's hurt.

Recap of the SHOOTZ ECDUB feud

Match#5 Francine vs Taylor Vaughn
No thanks

Post match, Ed tries to speak to Francine who proceeds to put Ed's hand on her chest and then whip him with a belt.

Gogz warned me 5 years ago to turn away and i didn't listen. I'm sorry, Gogz.

On the stage, JB brings out the NASCAR fucks. MOTHERFUCKER. Krush walks out and they have a fight where Hermie takes him down. Cool, lets just make him look like shit twice in an hour. Dumb cunts. He challenges this loser to a fight next week. WONDERFUL.

For the second week in a row the show needs a saviour. Anyone got a guess to who that might be?

Match#6 Ken Shamrock (c) vs MALICE w/Father James Mitchell (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)
No, the NWA title isn't main eventing, don't be daft. Shamrock is selling his neck, so MALICE beats the snot out it in awesome fashion. Had WCW not died, i see zero reason as to why he couldn't have been a top heel. Life is not fair. Especially, because he'll be dead by the end of 03. He wreaks Ken for the duration of the match, and Ken sells really well for him. At one point he drags him in the corner and lifts by the neck and holds him there for 5 seconds in a dead-lift. Holy fuck. Shamrock tries to fight back by going for the arm, but his neck stops it from happening. Awesome stuff. He fight through and manages to snatch his ankle for a brief moment, but MALICE drags him over with ease to the ropes. He keeps belting the shit out of him, and it feels like the perfect time for a switch. So, of course Ken makes a 10 second comeback and beats MALICE with a Belly to Belly. SON OF A BITCH
**3/4

Massive wasted chance to do something cool and capitalise on a hot star. Sure as hell won't be the last time i say that. LOLTNA

Match#7 AJ Styles (c) vs David Young w/Bobcat (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
AJ SAVES THE SHOW! Awesome, awesome sub 10 minute sprint. AJ goes out of his way to give DY a ton, and he pays him back by beating the shit out of him and bumping like a madman on AJ's comebacks. DY breaks out a sick springboard moonsault and just looks fantastic on offence. AJ is AJ, nuff said. Finishing run rules as you would expect. They fight on top and DY makes the mistake of playing to the crowd for one moment, SO AJ IS ABLE TO CATCH A RANA AND PULLS HIM DOWN AND HITS THE SUPER STYLES CLASH TO STEAL THE WIN
***
Bobcat, who spent the match on her phone, or looking at the camera dances in the ring after the match.

Backstage, Goldy is with the Express and Gertner. He hits on before dropping one of his promos about how they'll be handed the belts because AMW is dead.

They come out to the ring and wait for the belts to be handed to them, but JB says the NWA has ruled there must be a match for the belts. Jerry Lynn and AJ STYLES are the challengers. FUCK YEAH. Although, its kind of shitty for Lynn to pick a guy who just wrestled. Wonder if he has an ulterior motive.

Match#8 AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn vs Rainbow Express w/Joel Gertner (NWA Tag Team Championships)
AJ is badly hurt, so Lynn does the bulk of the work after AJ is taken out by the RE. Lynn tries harder than normal, which is nice of him. He mostly handles himself because the RE suck. AJ gets in for brief moments and smokes everyone even when he's hurt. He takes a gross neck bump at one point, which he didn't need to do, but we love him for it. Lenny breaks out the TIGERTAMER on Lynn for old times sake. The control seg is pretty dull and drags a lot, and i wish they'd ran AMW vs AJ/Lynn, but i get it. AJ's hot tag rules and picks shit right back up, Chaos happens and Lynn drops Lenny with the Cradle before falling out of the ring with Bruce, so AJ takes advantage and nails the Spiral Tap to win the belts.
**1/2
TWO BELTS AJ IS HERE

Post match, Lynn looks none too pleased, like he planned for a different outcome. Maybe, winning the belts and showing AJ he's still the man. hmmm. He reluctantly hugs AJ after he gives him the belt.

Of course, that cool angle isn't the closer. Nope, instead we find Jim Miller hog tied backstage with FU written on his belly.

Recap of the shitty tag feud that in no way has earned the right to main event over any of the 3 title matches.

Match#9 Scott Hall & Brian Christopher vs Jeff Jarrett & K-Krush
The infamous TNA ASYLUM BRAWL debuts here, and now life gets a little worse. Its fine the first dozen times, but after we see all the way until Jeff fucks off in 06, you might want to set yourself on fire. That's not to discredit this one for actually being a lot of fun because you've got Memphis royalty leading the charge, a fired up Truth, and Hall who works hard enough. They even fight in the dancers cage and up in the nose bleeds. Once it gets back in the ring and settles down, the fun stops and we get a loooooooooong control seg on Hall. Its fine because of whose doing, but fuck me does it feel like it goes forever. At one point, Hall accidentally collides with Brian and knocks him off the apron. Oh, no, Hall, fights back and tries for a tag and in a true shocker, Brian punches him in the face. The heels are now cool with each other and beat Hall up for another couple of minutes before a Hip Hop Drop and a Stroke end it
**1/4
They keep beating on him as Jeff says Scott isn't worth shit and he's run him out of everywhere they've been since 95. They break the trophy on his head. Scott gets placed on a stretcher. Jeff runs back over and beats him up for a while to end the show.

Love that this was the final angle and not something with a young star in it.

LOLTNA

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION; AJ STYLES-since 26/6/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AJ STYLES & JERRY LYNN-Since 3/7/02

NWA-TNA PPV#4
July 10th, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee

TONIGHT: SHAMROCK VS OMORI. KRUSH VS HERMIE. 6 MAN X-DIVISION #1 CONTENDERS MATCH.

Recap of the tag title match last week

Crowbar has joined the New Church, and is now called Tempest. One of the things I've noticed when doing these reviews, and Simon and Biggie can back this up, is you find yourself enjoying guys you wouldn't expect to. Crowbar is that guy for me

Little cool detail, the champs walk out to AJ's music and he's leading the way, and Lynn doesn't look very happy.

Match#1 AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn (c) vs Slash & Tempest w/Father James (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Lynn is super aggressive, like he has something it prove. AJ vs NC is really fun, and i love that he's getting a wide variety of wrestlers to work with right off the bat. Once again, he's too overzealous and it allows the NC beat on him for a bit. AJ fights back and seems to be handling it well, but Lynn runs it and starts beating the NC up. hmmm. He does a cool dive and nice springboard legdrop, but AJ tops it with a stunning springboard moonsualt, and Lynn walks back out to the apron looking grumpy. Tempest takes back over and him vs AJ is great. Slash is also fun, even doing a Whirlly Bird, Lynn's hot tag is fine and all. He nails Tempest with the Cradle, but Slash shoves him into the ropes and AJ blind tags in as Lynn throws Slash over the top. AJ nails the Spiral Tap to beat Tempest, all while Lynn is forced to watch on. Now's he's REALLY fucking mad
**3/4

Post match, Lynn walks out on AJ, and AJ seems confused as to why. Love this story. In the midst of a bunch of awful stories, AJ Styles is in the best one. Maybe, they should make sure that doesn't continue to happen for the next few years.

They recap the "main event" from last week, and Hall phones in to promise revenge. Next week he will face Brian Christopher. Ed takes the time to explain that this all makes sense because Brian and Jeff were childhood friends and their dads ran a company together. Oklahoma is the only commentator trying to save this shit. Kill me

Brian Christopher walks out and explains why he did it. Oh wait, not he doesn't. Instead, he spends 5 minutes shitting on Jerry for being a horrible dad who neglected him, so now he will be known as Brian Lawler. Russo, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

Match#2 Brian Lawler vs Norman Smiley
Despite, this horrible story, Brian is still solid as hell in the ring, so we get a fun squash. Hip Hop Drop ends it
**
Post match, Brian says Hall is next on his list.

Backstage, Goldy finds Jeff talking to Bill Behrens about his title shot tonight. Bill says that's not happening, so an argument happens. Jeff calls him a Bitch and tells him to suck his dick. SUCH a badass. In the background we hear Father James yelling at his Church. More of that, less of Jeff.

Recap of K-Krush standing up to a pack of racists over the last few weeks.

He comes out and runs down all the assholes in the crowd, and by the looks of them, he isn't wrong.

Match#3 K-Krush vs Hermie Slader w/NASCAR Fucks
Truth bumps all over for this twat, has to cheat to even get offence. I'm so over it, i can't even be mad. Truth has to grab the ropes to beat him. Way to make your next top heel look as strong as possible.
Jinder Mahal's title run

Post match, Krush keeps beating his ass, so the ref reveres it and gives the win to Hermie. Fuck you.

Backstage, Omori is working out and Alicia walks over and gets money from him. Would anyone like to place a bet on if we ever find out more about this story?

Match#4 The Briscoes vs The Hot Shots (Chase Stevens & Cassidy O'Reilly)
DEM BOYS ARE HERE! One half of the Naturals and a future Raven flunkie are also here. This is 3 minutes of them trying hard to get noticed before MALICE runs down and kills them all with Chokeslams for the DQ
*3/4

Post match, he keeps killing them as Father James promises more death unless Shamrock fights them again, so the blood can be on MALICE'S hands. MALICE goes to kill a very fat timekeeper, but Ken makes the save. They fight again, and MALICE gets the best of it until Omori makes the save.

Backstage, the Dupps are cousin fucking again. I'd blame Russo, but this shit is on Paul E for booking them first.

GODDAMN IT TO HELL. Jasmine St Claire makes her debut so she can strip for the fans. Nah, not doing it

Last time i reviewed this. i ended with a long conclusion on how its among the worst year of wrestling I've seen. That hasn't changed.

Match#5 The Dupps w/Fluff vs Jorge Estrada & Sonny Siaki
Jimmy is on an AJPW tour, so we're stuck with the worst possible duo. The Dupps are solid, namely Trevor. So, this is better than it might have been. Plumbtree joins commentary to say his team are gone. SO happy he cleared that hook up, i needed to know. The Dupps continue ruling as they beat the hell out these dorks. Kill the cousin fucking and push them, and I'm down for it. Of course, the dorks fight back and beat them when Jorge does a sprinboard Lionsault where he drives his head into Trevor's stomach for the win. Legit, looked like he nearly broke his neck off it. Fucking moron
**1/4

BACKSTAGE, LYNN IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF AJ! THEY HAVE AN AWESOME FIGHT WHERE THEY THROW EACH OTHER INTO THE BUILDING AS HARD AS POSSIBLE. AJ TAKES A FUCKING FLIP BUMP OFF GETTING THROWN INTO SOME GUARDRAILS. GODDAMN IT, DUDE. LYNN KILL HIM WITH A CRADLE PILEDRIVER ON AN EQUIPMENT BOX. LYNN THROWS THE TAG BELT ON HIM AND TELLS HIM TO CELEBRATE NOW, YOU GLORY HOUND. Fantastic angle

They do a pre-match tale of the tape for the NWA title match. Would have worked better to do that last week for the actual feud, and not a throwaway match where it doesn't even have a finish.

Harley Race is the NWA rep for the match.

Match#6 Ken Shamrock (c) vs Takao Omori (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)
Omori works for NOAH, and he looks pretty good. Haven't seen him outside of this to tell you if he's trying hard or not. But he's good. Ken is pissed about the fight, so he instigates a fight and they hit each other really hard. Ken's strikes look fine as does Omori. Although, neither seems to want to kill themselves out there. Omori goes for the bad neck and Tenay says his finish is a Lariat, so it makes sense. He hurts his ankle on a missed kick, so Ken goes for the neck instead. Weird. He actually kicks out of the Llariart, which is kind of shitty of him. He now goes for the leg. Really disjointed match. He gets the Ankle Lock, but Jeff runs and clobbers both of them with chair shots to the head for the DQ
*3/4

He keeps beating on them with the chair, so Harley Race gets in the ring, AND JEFF MURDERS HIM WITH A HORRIFYING UNPROTECTED SHOT TO THE HEAD. I know its Harley and he probably demanded it, but that's fucked up to watch. Jeff keeps killing blackshirts with headshots because he's the baddest man in the company BITCH, and you will hate him for this. Jeff finally backs off when B.A gets in his face.

Backstage, Goldy tries to get answers from Lynn, so he tells her to open up and say ahh, before he storms off. Fucking Russo, taking a hot angle and making it into Lynn being a sleezebag. The New Church walk over and call her the whore of Babylon. Wonderful. He tells her to find Jeff and tell him that he needs to speak to him because he just committed a sin, and now HIS God is mad. We of course don't end on that, no we find Berhens hogtied with FU written on his belly. FUCK OFF

Before the main event, Teny explains that the order of elimination will determine the rankings for the X-Division title

Match#7 Low Ki vs Elix Skipper vs Christopher Daniels vs Kid Romeo vs Jerry Lynn vs Tony Mamaluke (6 Man elimination match to determine the rankings for the X-Division Championship)
TNA raided WCW Thunder for this match. Some wild choices with Kid and fucking Tony Mamaluke, of all people. TRIPLE X IS HERE. THANK GOD. Or, i should say, thank the Fallen Angel and his gospel. He's a face, which is weird to see in 02, but he's in his peak so he more than makes it work. Elix rules as well, and Ki is Ki. Anything with them is the best, while the other 3 has a massive slide in skill. Lynn/Tony is really awful as we get the old guy vs a piece of shit who thinks he's really good, he just isn't. KI PICKS MY SPIRITS UP WHEN HE KICKS HIM IN THE SKULL 3 TIMES. Love him so much. Shit breaks down as it tends do, and we get a dive train. Tony of all people has a sweet flip one. Good for him. He crotches the legal Lynn and pulls him to the outside, and Lynn gets counted out and is the first man out. Legit shocking. Skipper does us a massive favour when he gets rid of Tony with the Play of the Day. Ki/Skipper rocks, and i wish we got a long singles match from them. Well, we might and i forgot, fingers crossed. Skipper fucks himself up when he falls backwards and takes a header on the apron. Ki nukes the neck as only he can with some gross shots and the Crusher into the corner. Elix makes a comeback and even does the Matrix doge, which is Ki's weakness. Daniels/Skipper rules as well, and i just wish this was a straight triple threat. Daniels nails the Last Rites to get rid of him. Somehow, Kid Romeo has made it to the final 3 without doing anything. He tries hard, but its just not there. Daniels is a pro and makes him worth a shit for a couple of minutes. He takes a massive bump off the top rope and its 3, but his foot is on the ropes. Ki gets in and murders Kid in quick fashion and beats him with the Dragon Clutch. What a final two! As we know, these two have insane chemistry so this bangs. They escalate everything so well, and the exhaustion selling rules. Daniels takes control and really belts the crap out him. BME gets kicked out, so he goes for the neck and we get some killer work. He even does the Fall from Grace! Ki survives it all, and manages to slip in a kick and nail the Ki Crusher to get the win
***1/4

Pyro goes off, but the shitty Elvis' attack our mates because they weren't in the match. Skipper runs down and tries to save his future friends. but he gets dropped. Mama and Kid eventually run them off.

Next week, AJ vs Ki for the X-Division Championship! Hall vs Lawler gets a bigger hype job than that. Just, shut up.

Double J storms back down with a chair and says screw them all, he wants his title shot. He talks shit to some NFL players, and that's lost on me. One of them fights him, and then the others attack Jeff. NEW CHURCH STORM THE RING TO GET TO JEFF, BUT HE KILLS SLASH WITH A CHAIR SHOT. BUT MALICE GETS HIS HANDS ON THIS FUCKER AND BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF HIM. THEY FIGHT INTO THE CROWD, AND THE SHOW CUTS OFF BEFORE THE ASYLUM BRAWL CAN TAKE PLACE.

SEE YOU ON THUNDER

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION; AJ STYLES-since 26/6/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AJ STYLES & JERRY LYNN-Since 3/7/02

NWA-TNA PPV#5
July 17th, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee

Recap of Jeff being SUCH a badass son of a bitch over the last month.

Prior to the show, Goldy tries to speak to Shamrock, but he roid rages at her and calls her a bitch, and screams a lot before storming off. Really didn't know BITCH was such a popular insult in 2002, but i'm learning.

TONIGHT: MALICE VS JEFF IN A #1 CONTENDERS LADDER MATCH
No clue how a one off brawl warrants an unadvertised ladder match. Wait a second, I'm seeing something

Backstage, the baddest son of a bitch in the land is fighting Scott Hall. Its a decent fight and all, but man do i hate all of this. Blackshirts dragged them apart, and Nazi Don Harris is also there. An NWA rep screams that Jeff has forfeited his title match as he gets dragged off.

The New Church make their way out to the ring, and man would they look better with the NWA title and not playing second fiddle to Jeff's bullshit. Father James extends an open challenge to anyone to fight his monster and take the fast lane to Hell and back. I don't know who would be Suicidal. Homicidal or Genocidal to take that fight. THE LIGHTS GO OUT

FUCK YES.

Match#1 Sabu vs MALICE w/The New Church (#1 Contenders match for the NWA Championship. Ladder Match)
Sabu is a house of fire, and MALICE is a hell beast, so this is a lot of fun, but not great. Tenay tries to ruin things by saying Sabu was scheduled for later. No, fuck you. He's a crazy person who shows up when he wants. MALICE takes some big bumps and gets in big shots, but can't handle Sabu for long enough to gain a ton of control so the NC help to try and turn the tide. Sabu takes some gross bumps and shatters his nose off one. MALICE dead-lifts Sabu and the ladder and powerslams it. Goddamn. He also nails a gross Belly to belly onto a ladder. Sabu has a cool comeback, but he seems legit fucked up, so its not as a good as it could be. He uses the ladder and chair as only he can, and it just warms my heart. Sabu is the best. He takes out the NC and shoves MALICE off the ladder into a table (Who takes a bad landing by going through legs first) and he snatches the contract down.
**3/4
Post match, the NC beat the shit out of him until he fights them off. MALICE turns the tide and beats him with a chair. He chokeslams him off the apron through a table. It's great that they're keeping MALICE strong. Would have been better if you just let him win a fucking match.

In the car park, Nazis and blackshirts kick Jeff out of the area. Really needed more of that, didn't we

AJ comes down to the ring and grabs the mic, and holy shit he looks terrified of speaking in public. Full blown deer in the headlights from him. Lynn thankfully stops him from saying much as he comes down to the ring. He gives him the angry vet speech (which works well, but given the fact AJ turned down a WWF contract because he didn't want his wife to leave school. It doesn't really work for me) He keeps calling him a glory hound and how he hasn't earned anything. Beat your old ass, ya dickhead. He says he let him be HIS tag partner, and he can't let a punk steal his spotlight. See, told you he was up to something. He says AJ will follow his lead and WILL respect him. AJ beats the fuck out of him and leaves him laying with the Styles Clash. I love this feud.

There's more Jasmine St Claire bulllshit. Francine is mad. Kindly, fuck off.

K-Krush makes his way down to the ring. He cuts an awesome promo, and i found it on Cagematch. Enjoy
" Shut the hell up and sit down. I got something' to get off of my chest right now. I want every one of you folks in here, everybody that's watching this to look at me - look at me! I look like a star. Every time I grab this microphone I sound like a star. Whether I'm dancing' down that ramp, whether I'm dancing' in the ring or whether I'm just knocking' the dust off somebody's stankin' ass, I move like a star. I even smell like a star. So tell me this. Why, at this point in my career, am I not the biggest damn star in the business?

Tell me this. Why, in my first few weeks here, do they put me in the ring with a damn NASCAR driver?! Why in the hell did the WWF—WWE, whatever the hell they call themselves, why in the hell did they let me go? Terminate my contract? What the punk damn thunder is that about?

I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell every last one of you what it is. They was afraid that K-Krush was gonna become something that they was scared of. They was afraid, whether you like it or not, I was gonna be the hottest item they had. And you know what that means? That means you would have had to promote me - they would hav to sell my T-shirts. Good Lord, forbid I get the damn gold round my ripped-up-ass waist.

My whole life I've been kept down. My whole life I've been treated like a damn second hand citizien. And why? You want to know why? Because they know that I'm better than them and they are afraid of that.

You better be afraid! You need to be afraid. You better be afraid. Because from this point on, I'm gonna take what's supposed to be mine. I'm gonna spit some damn face while I'm doing it. After years and years of being pressured and suppressed, its time for me to move some damn things to the top of the mountain, blow the top off that son of a bitch! But you know what, don't get it twisted. I'm not an angry black man. I'm just the damn truth - and the truth will no longer be denied."

The Truth has been born.

Match#2 Ron "The Truth" Killings vs Norman Smiley
Awesome squash from Truth, So much damn fire with a kickass jobber to help put it over the top. He wins with a GORDBUSTER.
**
He takes his belt off and whips him with it. He then throws him over the ropes and hangs him as the ref tries to pull him off. An older woman runs out and begs Truth to let him go, and Tenay says she's Norman's wife. TRUTH LETS GO AND GRABS HER BY THE NECK. BLACKSHIRTS PULL HER FREE. Awesome angle

I have no words.

She walks away and find the Dupps cousin fucking.

My mental health is wreaked, the world is fucked and the wrestling world has imploded with all the bastards being outed. Russo is somehow not the worst thing, and that's a rare case.

Match#3 Sonny Siaki & Jorge Estrada) vs Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper.
XXX is here, and life is ok. Sonny joins commentary to put himself over, and it lets Jorge do the bulk of the work. As stated, he sucks. Botches a ton and the fans shit all over him. XXX rule though, and they won't be dragged down by this fucking toolbox. Daniels hot tag is great and it lets him and Elix show a ton when it breaks down. SKIPPER JUMPS OFF DANIELS BACK LANDS ON JORGE'S SHOULDER AND FINISHES IT OFF WITH A RANA TO SONNY. JESUS CHRIST. They get paid back with their incredible hard work by losing. LOLTNA Sonny beats Elix with the Money Clip a shitty swinging neckbreaker.
**1/4
Post match, Sonny leaves, and The Dupps run down and breaks a bunch of planks over Jorge's shitty skull. Just run Dupps/XXX, and burn these losers.

Backstage, Hall beats up Truth. So happy you killed his heat in less than an hour. LOLTNA

Match#4 Meatball vs Puppet (HARDCORE MIDGET MATCH)
Meatball is the worlds largest midget, and i can only imagine Russo was diamond hard when he booked this. They kill each other with Plunda and i don't hate it, so that's a positive. They use a shopping cart full of food and a chair. Puppet wins with a splash on top of a chair
*1/2

Teo is shown dancing in the cage with one of girls. He pulls her top off and runs away.

Jasmine fights Francine in a some horrible Russo bullshit. Not fat Blue Meanie shows up and kills Francine with a DDT, and she gets carted away on a stretcher.

Hey, 3rd week in a row the show needs saving. I'm losing my mind trying to work out who its going to be.

Backstage, Ki refuses to speak to Goldy

Match#5 AJ Styles (c) vs Low Ki (X-Division Championship)
Hey, this fucking rules, and is our current MOTY. Mind blown. Its not quite their ROH encounter, but Goddamn is it worth watching. Mat work rules and it builds perfectly as they get more and more aggressive until they start killing each other. AJ does the dropkick sequence after countering a cartwheel kick with a kick to the throat. Love it. AJ stupidly tries to play Ki's game at points, and he gets battered every time. Again, it speaks to AJ's brain being wired to see red. Ki's control seg is wonderful. So many horrid shots to the body, and AJ dies on everything. He doesn't comeback per say, instead he just happens to be able to counter things at the right time. They have a great fight on top and Ki hits some dirty looking headbutts. AJ shoves him off, and for the first time misses the Tap as Ki moves just in time. HE COUNTERS A SECOND KI CURSHER IN THE CORNER INTO A DISGUSTING DDT. Ki's selling is wonderful as it holds him back even after dropping AJ with a kick. He slowly climbs the top rope and tries the Phoenix Splash, AND AJ CATCHES HIM IN MID AIR AND HITS A STYLES CLASH FOR 3. HOLY FUCK. Ki can murder a man, but AJ can counter certain death and turn it into a win
***3/4



Post match, AJ celebrates on the stage, AND LYNN RUNS OUT OF NOWHERE AND HITS AN ACTUAL AWESOME SPEAR. WHAT THE HELL. Helps, AJ took a flip bump off it, but still credit where it due. Lynn drags him back to the ring and kills him with a Cradle. He pulls a ladder and suplexs AJ onto it. He pounds on him and Gordbusters him on the ladder. He screams that AJ will respect him. This fucking feud!

For the second time in a month, a match that more than deserves the main event (especially in this case) gets shafted for some Russo bullshit.

Brian Lawler comes out and cuts Gogz' favourite promo where he calls his dad a paedophile, and says he gives candy to school girls. Given everything happening right now, i think its a good idea to remember this shit has been happening since the start and a lot of cunts need to be outed. Hall comes out and "hides" behind Lawler as he talks shit about Scott. He eventually gets punched in the mouth

Match#6 Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall
ASYLUM BRAWL! Its good because Brian was born for this, and Scott can still throw a good strike. Once it gets back in it again loses that luster, and just becomes a decent match. Brian smacks him with a purse and takes over for a while. Fine enough, as is Hall's comeback. He goes for the edge but Truth pulls Brian free. So, of course Scott shitcans him and then hits it on Brian to win.
**
The heels double team for a while, until Nazi and his mates come down and drag them off. They cart Hall away on a stretcher...but BADASS Jeff Jarrett runs down with a chair and beats the shit out of him to end the show.

DON'T PISS ME OFF, SLAPNUTS.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION; AJ STYLES-since 26/6/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AJ STYLES & JERRY LYNN-Since 3/7/02

NWA-TNA PPV#6
July 24th, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee


WE OPEN THE SHOW WITH SUPER BADDASS JEFF BEATING UP BLACKSHIRTS WITH A CHAIR. God, he's just the baddest man in the land. Tenay says he's been out ranting for 5 minutes. Jeff is a confirmed Shane Douglas fan. Loooooong rant that ends with him demanding a shot before he hurts another innocent person. Backstage, Ken beats up Blackshirts who try to stop him from getting to Jeff. He threatens BA and Nazi to let him go back, or he'll kill them. They let him past and he locks the door, and get some steroid monster named Ian Harrison to watch it. Back in the ring, Behrens shows up and suspends Jeff for 60 days. THANK GOD. This dude doesn't know the blackshirts have been locked away, so Jeff kills him with a chair shot the head. SHAMROCK RUSHES THE RING AND THEY FINALLY FIGHT. Really good stuff to be honest, just a shame everything has sucked to get us here. Monty Brown and Apolo run down and drag Shamrock off him. They stupidly hold him, and it lets Jeff kill him with a chair shot. Jeff's krew get him to leave. Ken is dead.


TONIGHT: SHAMROCK VS SABU IN A LADDER VS SUBMISSON MATCH FOR THE NWA TITLE. Oh, you rotten fucking bastard. AJ/LYNN VS FLYING ELVIS' FOR THE TAG TITLES

Match#1 Low Ki vs Amazing Red
This is a super fun 5 minute debut for Red. Ki lets him shine for a while and as we know, these two always give us something fun. Ki takes over with a MOTHERFUCKER of a kick to the skull. He beat the shit out of him, and Red dies like a good lad. Ki goes for the neck and keeps going to the Dragon Clutch in nasty ways. Red's comeback rules as he goes nuts and just unloads everything in rapid succession. They even break out the Mad Minute for the new fans, and they LOVE it. Red missed Infra-Red, and Ki nukes him with the Tidal Crush and Ki Crusher for the win
**3/4

Backstage, Jeff is still here for some awful reason. He tries to get to the Blackshirt, but steroid guy stops him. Jeff challenges him to fight later. No thanks.

Before their match, the Hot Shots make dick jokes. Vince Russo is still my enemy.

Earlier today, Goldy interviews AMW and they say it the Hot Shots who attacked them because they were mad, they weren't in the tournament. A story-line from a month ago just got an answer! Russo, you feeling ok? Storm plays a big stupid cowboy that plays with cap guns, and Harris wants him to be serious and stop the shit. He says this while he was lighting a smoke, by the way. Oh, Harris further says the cowboy gimmick sucks. RUSSO, GO PLAY WITH A PACK OF MATCHES.

Match#2 Chris Harris & James Storm vs Hot Shots
AMW kick the shit of them, and wouldn't you know it, they play pissed off faces fantastically. Storm gets isolated and the Shots do a decent job in control, but once again its Harris who steals the show. For the hundredth time, Chris Harris fucking rules. Storm takes out of them with the Swinging Noose, and Harris beats the other with a sweet Northern Lights Suplex
**1/4

The Shots attack them after the match and leave them laying. They pistol whip Storm with his cap guns before leaving.

Backstage, Ken is concussed and mad. He wants to kill Jeff. Did i mention Sabu is in the title match, not Jeff?

Match#3 Brian Lawler vs Gran Apolo
Brian tries his best in this tool's first big singles match, but Apolo is awful and it doesn't work. He reminds me of Brian Cage, in that he's a big meathead you wouldn't want fight, until you find out he throws strikes like a feeble old person and his cardio is dog shit. Apolo whiffs on shots (expect for the one that busts Brian's lip open) falls over Brian at points, and just looks pain shithouse. He of course wins with a shitty rollup
IMPACT's hiring policy

Post match, Brian chokes Don West for saying he tried his best. Russo fucking ADORES commentators getting beaten up, and I've never figured out why. Wait, he hates Jim Ross and Corny. I just solved the mystery. Go me.

Truth comes out and cuts a promo about how his heroes are Allen Iverson, Mike Tyson, Darryl Strawberry, Dwight Gooden, and Ray Lewis because they were held down because they were criminals. He's gotten the same treatment and its stops tonight. He starts to talk about OJ, but Monty Brown walks out to stop him. He says played in two Superbowls and he was never held down because of his skin. He left football because he wanted to be a wrestler, and they gave him a chance. Monty thinks the Truth can't walk the walk and he isn't all that. Monty says he's on HIS hunting ground and he might need to feed on him. Truth calls him an Uncle Tom, and they fight, and its good stuff. Monty gets the best of it and leaves him laying with the Alpha Bomb. Still waiting for the POUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCE. Period. One day.

Recap of the AJ/Lynn feud.

Earlier today, Mike interviewed them. AJ says Jerry opened his eyes last week and he gets it now. He respects Jerry. (he sounded awful by the way. poor guy really can't speak, and won't be able until 03) Jerry says he was the same ten years ago, and now AJ can follow his lead and they'll be unstoppable.

Match#4 AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn (c) vs Jimmy Yang & Jorge Estrada w/Siaki (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
This gets 15+, and it's actually really great. Jorge is still the drizzling shits, but Yang more than makes up for it. Him vs AJ is great again, and I'd love a singles match at some point. Sonny is on commentary and talks about himself, which sadly means Russo saw he looks like a young Rock and wants to push him. AJ gets isolated after a dive gets countered into a gross knee to the gut. He of course takes a good beating. Yang even does the running moonsualt off AJ's chest in an awesome fuck you. AJ accidently breaks Jimmy's nose off a gross kick when he makes his comeback. Shit breaks down once Lynn gets in, he holds them in place for AJ to dive on them, BUT SONNY PUSHES THEM OUT OF THE WAY AND AJ FOREARMS LYNN INTO THE RAIL AND BUSTS HIM OPEN. Oh, fuck.. AJ is all alone and gets the crap kicked out of him, while Lynn tries to drag himself back in. AJ gets Yang alone and drops him, he goes on top to nail the Tap, but Lynn is alive and kills Jorge with a guillotine over the bottom rope and a splash and steals AJ's win.

***1/4
AJ walks out this time in anger on a dead Lynn.. Adore this feud.

OH CHRIST. Disco Inferno makes his debut with some shitty talk show. Absolutely fucking not.

TNA's ability to book something fantastic and follow it up with pure shit is incredible

Match#5. Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger vs Elix Skipper & Monty Brown
The future Diamonds in the Rough make their debut. Diamond should be in Disco's spot. He can actually talk, and he doesn't make my skin crawl. This a decent few minutes and in theory, a good way to keep Monty protected until he's ready. His hot tag is very good and he beats Simon with the Alpha Bomb
*3/4

TRUTH RUNS DOWN AND CHOKES MONTY WITH HIS BELT, AND ELIX WALKS OUT ON HIS PARTNER AFTER SHARING A LOOK WITH TRUTH. Refs pull him off.

Backstage, Goldy is with The Dupps. They hit on her and touch her, and its just awful. they bump into the steroid guy, Ian Harrison and a match is made with Stan. Least its not Trevor.

Match#6 Bo Dupp w/Stan vs Ian Harrison
Awful squash from this big loser. Stan eventually attacks for the DQ
Mark Briscoe's smile

Steroids breaks the board over his knee and the cousin fuckers run away. So, happy we spent nearly 10 minutes on that

Backstage, Jeff goes into the room where the blackshirts are locked up and Ken is waiting for him. BAW GAWD, THEY FIGHT AGAIN. The Nazi pulls them apart and demands Ken goes out to the ring and Jeff fucks off. Glad our future co owner is able to take charge.

Match#7 Ken Shamrock (c) vs Sabu (NWA World Heavyweight Championship-Ladder vs Submission)
The belt is hanging above the ring and you can either grab it, or win via submission. One of the dumber Russo ideas, and fuck me that covers a LOT of ground. In a cool thing, Sabu goes for the leg to throw Ken off from what he expected him to do. They fight on the mat and Its pretty fun because Sabu actually rules as a wrestler, and people need to remember that. Also, his nose and left hand are both broken, and i can only assume he's not in the mood to outright kill himself tonight. Tenay says Blackshirts have gone home. Also, Steamboat is back next week and he has full power. Sabu finally has enough and goes for the ladder and it turns into a mini ASYLUM BRAWL. THIRD WEEK IN A ROW. Sabu busts his head open during the fight and it pisses him off. He puts himself through a table with the double jump Air Sabu, He rips his back open on it, so i guess i wrong. They climb up but the lights go out and MALICE hits the ring. HE CHOKESLAMS KEN OFF THE LADDER AND STEALS THE BELT. Match is over.
*3/4(for everything before the Russo bullshit)

MALICE leaves and Tenay and Don call him a thief to close the show.

Man, this episode fell off a cliff at record speed.

LOLTNA

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION; AJ STYLES-since 26/6/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AJ STYLES & JERRY LYNN-Since 3/7/02

NWA-TNA PPV#7
July 30th, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee

Match#1 AJ Styles (c) w/Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper (NWA-TNA X-Division Champion)
AJ Debuts "GET READY TO FLY" Hell Yeah. This is absolutely fucking wonderful. and it just tops AJ/Ki for me. AJ unloads some amazing strikes to start and beats the complete fuck out of Skipper. I'd forgotten that AJ can throw wicked shots with the best of them, mostly because of the way he's been working for the last 6 weeks, but Goddamn does he remind me. DAT DROPKICK gets hit as well, just an awesome display of how good he is. Skipper cuts it off with a gross headdrop suplex and targets the head. Really great work from him, and some great selling from AJ. Skipper's high spots are fantastic, and i wish he's gotten a singles run in TNA. He even screams "HOW'S THAT NECK?" as he keeps beating on it. Tenay mentions that AJ is the unbeaten in singles and tags, and Lynn on commentary is not happy. AJ counters an attempted Northern Lights into a disgusting looking butterfly lock and it fucks Skipper up. AJ targets the neck when he gets a chance, but he's still badly hurt so Skipper is able to fight through and push AJ to the breaking point. The selling from both men is fantastic, and it discredits any bullshit arguments. ELIX TRIES THE PLAY OF THE DAY BUT AJ MUSCLES HIM UP AND TRIES THE CLASH, BUT SKIPPER FIGHTS OUT. HE GOES TO THE MIDDLE OF THE TOP ROPE AND SETS SOMETHING UP, BUT AJ DROPKICKS HIS FEET FROM UNDER HIM AND SKIPPER LANDS ON HIS NECK. AJ HITS THE SPIRAL TAP TO WIN.
***3/4
Once again, AJ's ability to counter at the exact moment saves him from death. I love this man.

Lynn high fives AJ and they walk out together. I'm sure they'll stay friends for years.

Now its time for the show to fall off a cliff.

At the booth, Tenay recaps the bullshit ending from last week, Steamboat forced MALICE give the belt back, which kills him off for the 3rd time in a month. Steamboat has lifted Jeff's suspension and tonight he will face Scott Hall. Fuck off.

Monty Brown runs out and fights Skipper in revenge for last week. He kills him with the Alpha Bomb. Do a POUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCE, ya coward.

Jeff's amazingly shit music hits and he comes out with a bodybag. Someone is in it. I hope its SID, that would rule. Can we get SID vs AJ? He bitches about getting fucked out of his shot, and says he knew Ricky would stop him from getting another shot so he didn't come to a meeting. SO badass. He says he will start from the bottom and work his way to the top. The bottom is a midget he kidnapped. RUSSO YOU COCK. Todd Stone is bought out of the bag and Jeff murders him. Why? just fucking why? Oh, Skipper is still laying in the corner dead. Jeff hits Todd with the Stroke and says he had a MINI STROKE. Puppet comes out, and long story short PULLS A GUN OUT ON JEFF

Jeff murders him with a chair, thus proving bringing a chair to a gun fight is a good idea. Ricky comes out with Nazi Don Harris and B.A. He demands Jeff leave, but Jeff counters with an offer. He's wrestle him and if he wins he gets the shot, if he loses he takes the suspension. Ricky gets in and does his taunts, but noted coward Scott Hall attacks Jeff from behind, He knocks Jeff out of the ring and brings out an army stretcher because TNA is too cheap to get a real one. AMAZING. He promises Jeff will leave on it.

In the span of 28 minutes, TNA opens with the MOTY and follows with a Vince Russo cocaine special with a midget and gun.

LOLFUCKINGTNA

Backstage, Goldy is with Sonny Siaki. He does his shitty Rock ripoff by talking in 3rd person and hitting on the blond announcer. Compete trash in every sense of the word.

Match#2 Slash w/Father James vs Sonny Siaki
Heel vs Heel with zero rhyme or reason. Russo, you fucking shithead. Sonny is a student of Jinder Mahal in being incredibly boring and getting pushed because he looks good. Slash tries his best and from his end its fine, but Sonny is just bad, Actually, this is bad. Father James on commentary talks about blood and dark arts , and mind control, and its better than this shit. Slash ends up squashing this idiot and the fans are confused on how to react. Father James give Slash a hood and they put it on Sonny's stupid face, and Slash beats him with a neckbreaker.
That Ken Anderson shirt that Andy bought.

Post match, Father James takes blood from an artefact and puts it on Sonny's stupid face. I think Sonny just turned face, or Slash is a super heel. I've got nothing. Nazi Don Harris comes out and beats up Slash like he's a complete piece of shit. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. MALICE COMES OUT AND THEY GO FACE TO FACE, BUT MALICE IS FORCED TO BACK DOWN FROM A NAZI.

Forget the cliff, boys and girls. This show fell into the box from Creepshow and got eaten by the monster. LOLTNA

Backstage, Goldy is with Ricky. They talk about all the chaos of the last 7 weeks. Ricky says he's seen it all before in his career, but the new law is here and he will uphold it. Goldy says Bill tried that and it didn't work. Ricky suddenly gets very mad about that and storm off. Oh, No

Truth makes his way out, and now things get REALLY fucking weird and stupid. He yells at an African American dancer in the cage, and says "They" caged her like an animal. Please stop this. I'm begging you. He bitches about "Them" ,and i hate everything. He keeps ripping her to pieces, and its just horrible to listen to. Vince Russo and Jeff Jarrett are cunts. She slaps him, and Monty attacks him from behind and they have another great fight. Truth gets his hands on a 2x4 and beats the piss out of him.

Ricky walks out and demands Truth come to the ring. Ricky says if he wants to talk about "them" he needs to get out here. He obliges, and some real Russo shit happens. Ricky says he needs to earn his respect, and says the card he's been paying is wrong. He says we have a problem if we are talking about them and skin colour. Truth says that Ricky means nothing to them because he never won the WWF title after he beat Savage, and he was only good enough to win the secondary title. Yeah, then he went to the NWA and won the championship after Vince fired him for wanting to be with his son, not because he was racist towards Ricky. He did it in maybe the greatest trilogy in wrestling history ever. So, why the fuck would you use that for an example? MORE TO THE FUCKING POINT, THIS *IS* THE FUCKING NATIONAL WRESTLING ALLIANCE NOT THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, SO WHY DOES THAT SHIT MATTER HERE 15 YEARS AFTER THE FACT? OH, WAIT I KNOW. ITS BECAUSE VINCE RUSSO HAS TO TURN EVERY SINGLE THING INTO A SHOOT AND WE MUST SUFFER. JIM CORNETTE WAS RIGHT (I'M SORRY, BUT HE WAS RIGHT IN THIS CASE) RUSSO HATES WRESTLING. HE HATES THE VERY SINGLE CONCEPT OF WRESTLING, SO HE MAKES US WATCH SHOOTZ BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY WAY HIS SOUL LETS HIM LIVE WITH HIS CHOSEN PROFESSION THAT HE HATES. WELL, I HATE YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE, VINCE RUSSO.

Steamboat turns heel and agrees that they held him back, so next week Truth will face Shamrock for the championship.

L O L T N A

Match#3 MALICE w/Father James vs Gran Apolo
MALICE went from being the top heel and killing everyone in his path for the last month, to being a giant loser that gives back things he steals. Fuck. Now, he's forced to fight God awful wrestlers. Apolo again blows everything he tries, including nearly killing himself on a dive to the outside. The TNA Scumbags (fans) love this idiot and chant TNA for him. This was doomed from the start. MALICE runs him into the post and amazing TNA camera crew catch Apolo blading TWICE. MALICE tries to save by taking stupid bumps for this moron, and it breaks my heart because its not worth it. His control seg is good enough and I'll give him a point for trying, but Apolo doesn't deserve shit. MALICE keeps getting mad at shitty ref Rudy Charles, and it lets Apolo fight back. He hits a crappy Superkick to beat my guy
*

Post match, Father James is mad at Rudy, so MALICE kills him with the chokeslam. Who give a shit? Nazi Don attacks from behind like the pussy he is. He easily beats MALICE up, because this is ALL about killing off the poor guy. Slash runs out with the hood and covers the Nazi (sure it reminded him of better days) They beat his ass and tie him to the ropes. Father James says he chose the wrong path and now its time for desecration. Father James is trying to rid the world of Nazi's. THAT'S MY SINISTER MINSTER. They cover the Nazi in blood and leave him laying.

In the ring, life gets worse and worse. Don West brings out Miss TNA, Taylor Vaughn. Don tries to talk to her but Bruce interrupts before she can speak. He says Truth inspired him, and he wants to have rights. He wants a match for Miss TNA. Russo is trying to kill me, i swear. Send help. Vaughn gets on her knees and fakes a blowjob and dick punches him, and we now have a match. I want to die

Match#4 Taylor Vaughn vs Bruce (MISS TNA)
She beats him up for a couple of minutes before he easily kicks her ass, and pins her to win the title
The summation of the last hour

Bruce cries as he gets handed the crown.

Backstage, Goldy again tries to speak to Ki, but he says he only speaks in the ring

Match#5 Low Ki vs Jerry Lynn w/AJ Styles
AJ Styles is at commentary, which means he's going to try and save the show by speaking despite not being able to do that. Still beats the last hour. Ki forces Lynn to start on the mat and that's good times. AJ keeps getting annoyed at Lynn, or praising him depending on how he's doing. Lynn and Ki have a nice back and forth and its fine and dandy. Although, it is draining watching Ki get thrown around by Lynn's tired stuff. He at least gets to hit him hard when he has a chance and his control is fun, so not all bad. Oh, the scumbags side with Ki. Good for them. Still hate them. Lynn's comeback is as always fine, but if he had any fire, it would rule. They start trading and Ki unloads on Gramps and easily wins that battle. Finishing run is fun, and some big stuff gets kicked out of. Including a nasty Buzz-saw kick. Ki WREAKS him with a mothefucker of kick when he fights out of the Cradle. AJ leaves commentary, and HE BOOTS LYNN IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WHEN KI THROWS HIM INTO THE ROPES FOR THE DQ JUST AS KI NAILS THE CRUSHER
**3/4

AJ stands over him and yells as Ki stands behind him, and he's pissed. He boots AJ in the face to send him out of the ring. Ki scream at him as he backs away laughing and holding his jaw. AJ tried to save the show and he came ever so close, but nothing can save us.

Backstage, we see Nazi Don changing his shirt, and you can see his actual Nazi tattoos on his shitty body. I'd cap it, but fuck him and fuck Nazis. Fuck this segment as well.

Disco Inferno's talk show is next. I will not rage in caps lock as i already did that, but just know i hate everything. He brings In Goldy after saying awful things about her, and demands to see her naked. I feel sick. She tries to beat him up, but some woman named Paulina from Tough Enough attacks her. EAT SHIT

Next Week: AJ vs Ki vs Lynn for the X-Division Championship. MALICE vs Nazi in a first blood match. Shamrock vs Truth for the NWA Championship

Match#6 Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Hall (No Dq. Maybe a Stretcher Match. No one has actually said. LOLTNA)
ASYLUM BRAWL IS A WELCOME CHANGE FROM ALL THE SHIT WE'VE ENDURED. They go all over and for the 100th time, it's fine. The highlight of ir is Jeff shoving Lynn into a door in the backstage area. They use the cheap ass army stretcher to beat each other up, and Jeff takes control. Another good control segment from him, and i just want Jeff to face AJ asap. He dies on Hall's comeback, and my point about terrible booking making us forget how good he is becomes relevant again. Scott hits the Edge but Truth drags the ref out, because we needed this a 50th time. Monty fights him away, AND JERRY LYNN RUNS DOWN AND SPLASHES JEFF IN REVENGE. Jeff kicks out, so it was pointless. AJ ATTACKS JERRY ON THE RAMP AND TRIES TO HIT ONE OF THEM WITH THE TAP, BUT THE FUCKING NAZI CROTCHES HIM AND EASILY BEATS HIS ASS. HOLY SHIT, FUCK YOU. THE NEW CHURCH ATTACKS THE NAZI TO CONFIRM THE FACE TURN. Everyone finally fights off and we get back to the match. Scott kills the ref with the stretcher, because all of this shit needed a ref bump. WHY IN GOD'S NAME? Ricky runs out and Jeff tries to hit him with a chair, but he misses and it hits the ropes and he KO's himself. Jesus. I think Ricky is face again, boys and girls. NO, HE STOPS HALL FROM HITTING JEFF WITH THE CHAIR AND JEFF HITS SCOTT WITH THE STROKE TO THE CHAIR BOTH MEN ARE FIGHTING OVER, AND JEFF STEALS IT.
I wanted to rate it two, but i don't think i can after all of that. LOLTNA it is

Jeff pus him on the stretcher to close the show as Ricky watches on.

Holy shit, this is one of the worst shows I've ever seen. I remembered 2002 was atrocious, but i'd long forgotten how bad it really is. This needs to be seen by everyone at least once. You had the Match of the Year with one of the greatest all around wrestlers ever. A Midget with a gun. Ricky Steamboat turned heel in one of the dumbest turns I've ever seen. A man won the Miss TNA title. A monster heel was buried 6ft under, while his partner turned face, heel and then into a super heel all in 10 minutes. Disco Inferno got a 10 minute segment where he demanded to see Goldy's chest a dozen times. Then they used their only good feud to further it and that was great, but then they nuked that in less than an hour when an ACTUAL NEO NAZI beat the best guy in the feud up. Now that feud is tainted because of that. Oh, speaking of the fucking Nazi, somehow he had half a dozen segments, and started a blood feud with the former top heel. He was the only one who came out looking good.

Vince Russo somehow booked a Neo Nazi to be the strongest guy on the show, while also doing a feud about wrestlers being held down by racist promoters.

I have only have one thing left to say.

LOLTNA

 

[BigVanDonnie]

IIRC, the next few months are horrible beyond belief. Fair warning.

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: KEN SHAMROCK- Since 19/6/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION; AJ STYLES-since 26/6/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AJ STYLES & JERRY LYNN-Since 3/7/02

NWA-TNA PPV#8
August 7th, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee

We start the show with Dupps and Aolo waiting to see Steamboat. Tenay says he will interview Apolo tonight.

Match#1 Amazing Red & S.A.T (Joel & Jose Maximo) vs Flying Elvis'
Spanish Announce Team make their debut with their cousin Red. They're good flippy guys, but they can't hold a candle to the best guys. They still smoke the other two Elvis', so there welcomed here.Sonny does the bulk of the work and refuses to tag. Good character work, but it makes the match worse. Thankfully, the faces beat the shit out of him, so that's fun. The other two join commentary and shit on Sonny for being an asshole. Don't care! Sonny steals the pin after the other two took out Red when everything broke down
*3/4

TONIGHT A TRIPLE MAIN EVENT. JARRETT VS APOLO. AJ VS KI VS LYNN. SHAMROCK VS KILLINGS. Hey, only two of those are main event worthy, Russo.

Earlier today, Tenay interviewed Gran Apolo. He's mad about not getting a shot. Should be mad about being a terrible pro wrestler.

Apolo tries to speak to Steamboat, but AJ walks out of the office with a smug grin. Ricky walks out and tells Apolo to fuck off, or something. Lynn then runs in and fights AJ in revenge for last week. Another awesome fight between them, until Blackshirts pull them apart. No Nazi this week. Must have been burning a cross.

Ricky walks out to the ring and the Dupps try to speak to him, but he tells them to wait in the back for him.

THE NWA TITLE IS BEING DEFENDED IN THE SECOND MATCH. Fuck anyone not named Jarrett, hey Russo. Fucking twat.

Match#2 Ken Shamrock (c) vs Ron "The Truth" Killings (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)
Ricky is on commentary. Ken dominates off the bat and really beats the shit out of Truth. Once again, the roles are all fucked up. Truth fights back and its awesome, but also fucking stupid because the heel is coming across as sympathetic. Shamrock keeps beating him up in lifeless fashion, and given he's gone after this, i can only imagine he's not bothering to kill himself to help Truth, Prick. NC are on the stage watching, so Neo Nazi comes out and watches them. Monty shows up as well. You see where this is going, don't you? Back in the ring, "face" Ken continues to beat the shit out of Truth. He wreaks the arm and leg, and Truth sells pretty well. Least he's working hard tonight. Truth is the best. Apolo runs down and attacks Truth and there is no DQ. Everyone else fights as Apolo does something SO awful, it needs to be seen

RICKY NOW THROWS KEN INTO THE RING FOR TRUTH TO PIN HIM WITH AN ACE CUTTER AKA TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES
LOLTNA

Ken is now gone for two years,. Steamboat will never return to TNA, instead he goes to ROH for the amazing Punk story. Now, Truth's win as the first ever African American NWA champion is forever tainted by this bullshit. What a complete load of fuckery.

Steamboat then makes Apolo vs Jeff a #1 contenders match after some Jeff comes out and claims REVERSE DISCRIMINATION. Get fucked.

Disco's bullshit talk show happens next. The Dupps come out, and we get a new match from the deranged mind of Vince Russo

• Putting someone through a table = 2 ½ points (5 points if it's on fire) • Sticking opponents head in the toilet = 2 ½ points (3 ½ points with shit) • Goosing a woman = 2 ½ points (3½ if it's a man) • Hitting Jeremy Borash or Sarah Lee (ticket lady) = 2 ½ points • Using a farm animal = 2 ½ points • Spanking your opponent with the Horse-poo (stick horse) = 2 ½ points (-2 ½ points if they like it) • Using Jay (Blowup Doll) = 2 ½ points • Using a weapon a fan gave you = 1 point • Crying like a pussy = -5 points • Sticking your opponent's head in the cotton candy machine for one full rotation = 10 points (automatic win)​

― Rules of the Dupp Cupp​

This bullshit turns into The Dupps vs Ed Ferrara. That took another 10 minutes, folks. TNA 2002 is my Vietnam.

Match#3 The Dupps vs Ed Ferrara (Dupp Cupp)
They beat the living shit out of Oklahoma, and somewhere Cornette is watching his wife get fucked and he's harder than normal. Dupps win
The mental image of Corny watching his wife get fucked while he rubs one out

Earlier today, Tenay interviewed Mondy. He's not cutting ALPHA MALE PROMOS, so i don't really care. He goes over his history and how he became a wrestler. He says Truth will always be "Ronnie" to him, AND SKIPPER RUNS OVER AND THROWS PAINT OVER HIM AND BEATS HIM UP. Best thing on the show in nearly an hour.

Match#4 MALICE w/Father James vs Nazi Don Harris (FIRST BLOOD)
I wish John Rambo would show up and murder both men at this point. Maybe, he could even kill me. FB's can be hit and miss at best, even when you have someone whose good, but with a Nazi who sucks, its a new level of bad. Nazi throws awful shots, and poor MALICE mostly gets his ass kicked. My man's dead, and its the worst. They try the ASYLUM BRAWL, but neither man is Jeff, so its terrible. It drags and drags for at least 5 minutes. Slash shows up to help, but lol he gets stabbed with his own ice pick and starts bleeding. NAZI DON HARRIS IS THE STRONGEST MAN IN TOTAL NON STOP ACTION. Nazi also busts Mitchell open with a kick. SO STRONG. He hits MALICE with a shitty Black Hole Slam, and all of sudden he's bleeding. I rewound, ad we see the fucking Neo Nazi blade his head after the Slam to make it look like he headbutted MALICE, while he was in complete control. SO, HE CAN'T EVEN LOSE CLEAN IN A FIRST BLOOD MATCH. JESUS CHRIST
The shower scene in American History X

MALICE chokeslams him after the match to try and get his heat back, but its ice cold in this motherfucker.

Backstage, Goldy tries to talk to Taylor Vaughn, but shitty Sonny Siaki shows up doing his bullshit gimmick. Bruce steals the mic and tries to interview Taylor, but she pushes him away and calls him a slur. RUSSO, YOU FUCKING FUCK. An evening gown match is made for tonight. KILL ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

AJ and Ki are now fighting backstage. Its WAY too good for this trash company.

Oh, Ricky made himself the ref for Jeff/Apolo,. Should have mentioned that, i guess

Match#5 Jeff Jarrett vs Gran Apolo (#1 Contenders match. Ricky Steamboat is the guest ref)
Jeff booked himself to work with this human mummy. He's brave, I'll give him that. Ricky keeps trying to stop them from throwing punches, and its just annoying. Ricky in this role is just wrong. Oh, the match. Jeff tries his best to get something out of this moron by taking big bumps and throwing his amazing punches, but Apolo can't be saved. Jeff busts him open after dropping him on the steps in an attempt to make the match good, but its not working. His control work is fine, but Apolo can't sell or bump well, so its the worst one yet. Once again, i just want Jeff vs AJ/Raven/Harris/Truth. Not these losers. Tenay tries to sell Apolo's fire when he fights back, but this fucker has less fire than Jerry Lynn. Jeff works really hard to save it, and he gets a point for trying. TNA Scumbags love this idiot, Apolo. Truly the worst fans. Apolo hits a terrible German and Jeff gets his shoulder up, and shithead Ricky hesitates before the counting the 3 for Jeff. Christ almighty. Jeff is now face, and Steamboat is a super-dooper heel.
Gran Apolo's push

Shitty Apolo yells at Ricky, and Ricky gets blackshirts to drag him out. Yep. Ricky is a super heel. I can't wait for him vs Don Harris. Steamboat further cements this when he says Jeff will TEAM with Truth for the tag titles. Russo, you complete lunatic. This is not even a good SWERVE, BRO. Blackshirts then run out and save Ricky for an rightfully angry Jeff.

hahahahahah, this is going to kill me.

Match#6 Miss TNA, Bruce vs Taylor Vaughn (Evening Gown Match)
NO

Fuck the "save the show jokes. AJ needs to burn this entire place down with everyone in it.

Match#7 AJ Styles vs Low Ki vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Somehow on this piece of shit show, they get 15 minutes+ and its great. Not a complete banger like the last two weeks, but still another wonderful match. This storyline is immune from Vince Russo in ring. Outside of it, he's still hurting it. But he can't fuck with the in ring. I don't need to tell you how all 3 did in here, you already know how it goes. Also, this is the start of "TRIPLE THREAT GOD, AJ STYLES" as he never fails when you put him in there with two others, and this is the start. Just a constant flow of really cool shit and lots of drama right until the end. They break out the 3 man German spot with Ki flipping into position with a springboard so its WAY cooler than normal. AJ takes the lions share of the beating, which means we get awesome AJ comebacks. Finishing run rules as you expect, and all 3 beat the piss out of each other. Lynn makes them do the rollup bullshit, but they kill it quick. Rest of it is awesome, though. They steal each others finishers, and Ki does a sweet Clash. Ref gets bumped, so AJ can grab a chair despite this being NO DQ. Fucking hell. He brains Lynn and goes for the tap, but a dead Ki rolls on top of Lynn and when AJ comes down the ref counts the 3 for Low Ki
***

Crappy ending for an otherwise super fun match. Fitting for this show.

Nice to see Ki get rewarded for being a team player, and not his normal terrible self.

Backstage, Jeff and Truth are being held apart by blakshirts as they yell at each other. Back in the ring, AJ and Lynn fight again as Jeff and Truth make their way out. Nothing happens as AJ and Jerry are gone, and we close on Jeff yelling at Truth.

Jesus, what a show.

LOLTNA

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: LOW KI. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AJ STYLES & JERRY LYNN-Since 3/7/02

NWA-TNA PPV#9
August 15th, 2002
Nashville, Tennessee

Recap of Truth winning the belt starts us off.

Truth makes his way out looking fantastic

He says from this point on this is the TNA ASYLUM, and this is the TRUTH. Truth says it was the best day of his life last week when he became a damn legend. He says he came here as a very bitter man because he wasn't sure he was going to get the chances he deserved, or that the NWA would play the game the right way. He shoots about WWF and the time JR told him he wasn't allowed to make mistakes because he's in a white man's sport.



He's not lying. JR is a cunt. He says he is a BLACK MAN IN A MAN'S WORLD. Hell yeah. He IS a damn legend. He then cuts a face promo about how sometimes you get an opportunity and take it when take it all the way, and how we shouldn't give up on our dreams. Jeff's stupid music hits to ruin our moment. Tenay reminds us they're fighting for the tag belts tonight. He says he's Truth's nightmare, and this is all bullshit. He cuts another awful promo about reverse discrimination, and Truth tells him to fuck off, because he won last week and Jeff didn't. Jeff says he will ask for a chance for the belt tonight because he deserves it. Truth says they were friends, but now its business. The NWA title means EVERYTHING to him, and he challenges him to a fight. Bill Behrens and the Nazi comes out with actual theme music. I'm not kidding, this fucker has music. He dubs himself "Bad boy", and calls Jeff SLAPNUTS. Fuck off. He says Ricky can't be here tonight (he smartly quit), so he's in charge. He says they can BRAWL ALL OVER THE PLACE, but it won't be sanctioned by the NWA. Jeff goes to fight him, but Brian Lawler attacks him from behind. OH NO. Really awesome fight from our Memphis sons. They get pulled apart by Nazi and his friends, and Jeff gets dragged to the back as Brian shouts he knows Jeff did it.


Truth left during all of this because he's now an afterthought to some Russo bullshit. Trust me, this is baaaaaaaaaaad.

TONIGHT: AJ/LYNN VS TRUTH/JEFF. LOW KI DEFENDS IN A FATAL FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH AGAINST THE FLYING ELVIS' (Jesus, poor Ki)

Match#1 Amazing Red & S.A.T vs Kid Kash, Slim J & Shark Boy
SHARK BOY IS HERE. GIVE A SHELL YEAH. Kid Kash rules a ton, and will be in a killer feud in 2003, so I'm stoked to see him. Slim J is a Special K member, which means he's a skinny flippy kid. Super fun X-Style match, Kash gets a ton of time to shine as we start and its a lot of fun. He's gets pissy at the kids for being able to hang with him, so he starts breaking out his bigger stuff and gets the best of them. Dive train breaks out and Slim J wins with a stunning moonsualt, which is a great way to show the future belongs to them. They keep doing wild stuff and this one of those matches that's hard to speak about because there is so much going on. Red gets to do his stuff this week and its still awesome all these years later. Shit breaks down as it tends to, and everyone DIES on wild shit. The highlight is Red taking a motherfucker of powerslam off the top from Kash. Actually, RED is the highlight. GO RED, GO. The fight between him and Kash is killer, and i need a singles match. S.A.T Murder Slim J with the Spanish Fly, and Red ends it with the Infra Red. SO much fun.
***

Backstage, Goldy is with The Dupps. Oh, they love her. Should have mentioned that. My bad. They say a bunch of gross shit, and it turns into cribs where they show off their outhouse. Yes, they bought an outhouse with them. Give Russo credit for that one.

There's a God awful Miss TNA segment, where he does the Andy Kaufman gimmick of fighting a female fan for five grand. I wish Lodi was here. Least he would have a sign to make up for this
.

Backstage, Goldy is with Jeff. He refuses to answer why Brian attacked him, but promises he'll deal with him. He says he'll play the game until he gets the belt. He walks over to a bathroom stall, because apparently this took place in the bathroom? He drags Bill out and beats him up. LOW KI WALKS IN AND THEY GO NOSE TO NOSE! Jeff calls him Kojak before walking off. I don't know if we get that match, but i want it.

One of the Dupps bumps into a midget and challenges him to fight in the Dupp Cupp. WONDERFUL

Next match is an unadvertised Last Man Standing match. Russo, just hype shit man, its not that hard. Maybe if you did it every once in a while, TNA would be making and not in the red. Oh, TNA isn't making money, but we'll cover that later.

Oh, we have to cover this.

I apologise for anyone that picture might upset, but i felt it needed to be seen. This man is an actual Neo Nazi, and not any bullshit lie about how him and his brother only got the lightning bolt tattoos for the D.O.A gimmick is going to work. That would be because in 1995, the ECW fans complained to Paul E about them being Nazis (I don't know how the bloke who sued Bill Watts for discrimination in 92 didn't know that, but it happened) and Paul E made them wear shirts until they got more ink around it to hide them. I fucking hate Nazis, and i hate them. Sadly, these fuckers will be a long tenured fixture of this review.

Match#2 MALICE vs Nazi Don Harris (LAST MAN STANDING)
NC is banned from ringside. This is slightly less awful than last week, only because MALICE is trying harder. Harris is garbage in every way possible, but our dark disciple tries his best. They brain each other with a chair, and it warms our souls to watch Harris get brain damage. It turns into a hardcore match you'd find in WWF at this time. Normal plunda shows up. Ending is trash, and kills any chance of this getting a rating. MALICE backdrops him through a table off the top, but he takes the brunt of the bump so Harris is able to get up first.
3/4*

Post match, they shake hands. MALICE is well and truly dead. Thanks Russo, ya dickhead.

Backstage, Trevor Dupp tells us he's afraid of midgets. Kill me.

Match#3 The Dupps vs Teo (DUPP CUP)
Some awful Russo shit happens here. Puppet comes out of the outhouse and beats non Trevor up with a stick, and Teo pins him
Dutch Oven

Recap of the Monty/Skipper feud.

Match#4 Monty Brown vs Elix Skipper (DETROIT STREET FIGHT)
Ahh, good old Russo naming a street fight after a city. Wait, we aren't in Detroit. Russo failed geography. This is a lot of fun, and saves the show after 30 minutes of trash. Under 10 minutes and no wasted time. Monty is a house of fire, and Skipper is an awesome little shithead. They beat the piss out of each other with PUNDA, BABEH. Chains, trash cans and street signs. MONTY TRIES THE POUNNNNNNNNNNNCE, BUT SKIPPER MOVES AND HE EATS A TRASH CAN. Skipper uses his flying to control for a moment but when he tries to use a stop sign, Monty punches it into his skull! He murders him with a weird DVD Rock Bottom, and then the ALPHA BOMB through a trash can for 3
**3/4

Monty is a future NWA champion. No way TNA can fuck this up by turning him heel and have him play second fiddle to Jeff Jarrett, and then lose to all the WWE stars before he goes to ECWWE and sadly retires. Nah, no chance.

Goldy interviews the Elvis'. Sonny acts like a tool. Don't give a shit.

Match#5 Low Ki (c) vs Jorge Estrada vs Jimmy Yang vs Sonny Siaki (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Elimination Match)
Ki is up against a brick wall of awfulness, but he does his best to make it work. The opening few minutes, he faces off with each one and makes Jorge and Sonny look like good wrestlers by selling for them, and murders them in return. Ki is the best. The Yang fight is the best one, of course. Don West LOVES Jimmy, and its the best. Don is the GOAT. Fight me. The Elvis' eventually fight amongst themselves, and its decent at best. Jorge has one nice dive, but he's still garbage. Yang thankfully gets rid of him with a Boston Crab. Yang/Ki fight again and Jimmy starts overwhelming him, and its pretty fun. He goes for Yang Time but Sonny trips him on the ropes, and KI ends his life with the Ki Crusher. Ki works his magic for the next 90 seconds and gets something fun out of Sonny, so Russo can keep pushing this dope. Yang trips him in revenge and Ki rolls him up for 3. Thank God.
**1/2

Earlier today, Goldy found Jerry Lynn in the car park and he invites her to see something. Goldy asks him if he can be on the same side with AJ after everything they;ve been through. He says last week was every man for himself, but this is the for the tag belts and he's going to do the right thing. He says he has to do something first, and we pull up to a cafe and see AJ making an order. LYNN ATTACKS FROM BEHIND LIKE A RIGHT COWARD, AND HE GETS THE BEST OF HIM. He slams his head off a bathtub, and breaks a hubcap over his skull to knock him senseless. He screams that THIS is a matter of respect, and AJ WILL respect him, punk. Awesome angle.

Last 30 has been a ton of fun. I now wait for the entire thing to blow up in my face.

Disco's talk show is next. See, told you it was going to blow. He brings out a real movie star, Dean Baldwin. THAT'S SHARK BOY. SHELL YEAH. He shits on Goldy and furthers a feud no one actually wants. They talk about his fake movie career, and i refuse. Brian Lawler runs and out and rants more about "what" Jeff is guilty of. Shark Boy tells him to fuck off, so Brian beats him up. Hey, fuck you. Nazi comes out (not even bothering to sell) and drags Brian off, and throws him out of the door.

Backstage, Trevor Dupp quits the NWA because of the midgets.

Match#6 AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn (c) vs Jeff Jarrett & Ron "The Truth" Killings (NWA-TNA Tag Team Championship)
AJ is dead and doesn't come out, so Lynn is all alone. Heels beat the shit out of him for couple of minutes, before AJ shows up and makes the save. AJ AND JEFF FINALLY FIGHT, AND ITS GREAT. Jeff finally has someone that can not only go with him, but force him to work harder than he has in two years. Can't wait for more. Truth/Lynn is fine, but its easily smoked by AJ/Jeff. AJ "accidentally" takes Lynn out with a moonsault, and gets him isolated by the heels. Fun control seg from the heels, with Truth doing the bulk of the work as Jeff hangs back .Nice to see Jeff going out of his way to help Truth, unlike shitty Ken. Jeff/Lynn is fine, but it lakes fire. Common Lynn complaint from me, but until he gets some, you're going to hear it. AJ's hot tag is the best, as you've read a million times. Shit breaks down, and the champs start working together! Ref gets bumped by AJ. GODDAMN IT. Lynn has TWO visual pins on Truth, because fuck him, i guess. AJ nails him with the Tap at the same time as Jeff hits Lynn with the Stroke. The ref wakes up and goes to count, but another slides and we get two pins. MOTHERFUCKER
**3/4

That ruled until Dusty showed up with his bullshit.

The refs fight over who won, and B.A walks out and without second thought holds the belts up. Come the fuck on, man. They, and the X title have been saving this show for the last 8 weeks, and you want to ruin it! Fuck you, Bullet. He then makes Truth vs Monty for next week! Truth storms out leave the belt behind. Jeff is very mad. Bullet says the NWA has had enough for AJ and Lynn fighting every week, so next week they're fighting in a #1 contenders match for the X-Title. Lynn screams he wants a Falls Count Anywhere match, and AJ counters that he wants a NO DQ match, because the NWA are being a bunch of SUGAR TITS. DEAD. There's a tiny difference AJ, you dumb hillbilly. Pick something else. B.A says they can have both in a 2/3 falls match, and the 3rd will be a Ten Minute Iron-man match. Hell Yeah. Jeff rants about being fucked over again, so Bullet says next week there will be a surprise opponent. Jeff runs out with the NWA title, and Bullet chases after him.

Tenay explains the 3 matches, because this fan base really is made up of stupid hillbillies.

DON WEST DOES HIS AMAZING HYPE JOB. LOW KI WILL DEFEND HIS TITLE IN ANOTHER ELIMINATION MATCH VS AMAZING RED AND THE S.A.T. SONNY VS JORGE IN A 2/3 FALLS MATCH (SO THAT'S TWO IN ONE SHOW. LOLTNA) TENAY SAVES THAT BY SAYING AJ VS LYNN WILL TAKE PLACE OVER THE NIGHT, AND NOT IN THE SAME MATCH. THAT'S ACTUALLY AWESOME. SO, LOLTNA DON'T WORRY FOLKS, THEY'LL EARN IN BACK NEXT WEEK. BET MY LIFE. KILLINGS VS MONTY FOR THE NWA TITLE.

DON WEST IS FREAKING AMAZING. YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME IF YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.

Backstage, Brian runs back through the door and chokes the life out of Jeff! He screams he's going to kill him.

Best show in 3 weeks, but still awful as hell for the most part.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: LOW KI. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-VACANT. Since-14/8/02

NWA-TNA PPV#10
August 21st, 2002
TNA ASYLUM

God, it feels good being able to call it by its real name.

TONIGHT: AJ VS LYNN IN A 2/3 FALLS MATCH, WITH THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP FOR THE X TITLE ON THE LINE. LOW VS RED VS S.A.T FOR THE X-TITLE. TRUTH VS MONTY FOR THE NWA TITLE

Ed Ferrara was told they couldn't afford to keep paying him and they would pay him back when they could (FIRST OF MANY), so he quit. Thank God.

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn (MATCH#1 FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE.)
ASYLUM BRAWL, MOTHERFUCKERS.They beat the holy hell out of each other, and its SUCH a beautiful sight to see a blood feud wrestled like one. To the shock of no one, AJ adapts to the AB like a duck to water and uses the place like no one else has done yet. They fight on the staircase, and AJ breaks out a stunning dive to onto Lynn. Once again he gets overzealous when fighting, so Lynn can take over with a nasty suplex on the concrete. AJ fighting back is awesome as always, and Lynn is working hard, so its good times. They have a great fight on the ramp and up near the dancers cage, and Lynn is able to drop AJ onto the ramp and nail the Cradle to steal it
***
Next match will be No DQ. Again, its the same match,. but AJ is legit dumb, so we'll let him slide.

Backstage, Goldy is with AMW. Hey, they still work here. They're fighting Nazi Ron Harris and Brian Lee. OH, COME ON. Harris gets pissed at Storm for playing the cowboy gimmick, and says that's what they aren't getting booked. Eat shit, Russo. The heels wander over and cut some very bad promos. There's a reason neither man ever spoke more than two words.

Match#2 Chris Harris & James Storm vs Ron Harris & Brian Lee
Yeah, they hired his shitty brother to make our lives a little worse. I don't even want to know where they found Lee, or why they thought it wise to hire him. AMW's second carry job in their short history, and its fine. The heels are trash, but our guys work as hard as possible. Harris gets to show off his bumping this time, and its great. Storm is a little rough, but he's getting there. Harris makes the control seg fun, especially considering the crappy moves these two hit him with. Storm's hot tag has some fire to it, and the heels actually bump for him. The finish is complete Russo filth, and brings my piss to a boil. Lee gets thrown outside and a fan grabs him, so he beats him up, which in turn distracts Harris and lets Storm roll him up for 3. Assholes can't even lose clean. Fuck them both
**
TO MAKE SHIT WORSE, THEY ATTACK AMW FROM BEHIND AND LEAVE THEM LAYING. Get absolutely fucked.

Match#3 JImmy Yang w/Jorge Estrada vs Sonny Siaki (2/3 Fall Match)
They changed the match for some reason. Not that I'm mad, given Jorge fucking blows. Just one of those things that pisses us all off. Jimmy and Jorge double team and beat the crap out of Sonny to start. awful booking strikes again. Jimmy brings his working boots and carries Sonny as best he can. He wins the first fall with Yang Time after squashing him. Sonny takes over soon after and the match takes a turn for the worse. The best way to describe him is he would be perfect for Smackdown 2004. Real OVW loser, that Corny falls in love with because he has some work ethic. Think Rob Conway or Danny Basham, and you get him. After a really shit beating, he takes it with his shitty Shake, Rattle and Roll. Because this match has no flow, Jimmy take over right away for the 3rd fall and beats Sonny up for a while , which means its Sonny making comebacks as the heel. JUST BOOK SHIT NORMALLY. Finishing run is a sloppy mess with a ton of botches, made worse by Tenay trying to hype it as EPIC. They botch some rollups, and Sonny wins after grabbing the ropes. Trash
3/4*

Post match, Double J comes out and rants about being fucked out of things for the last 10 weeks, Brian Lawler attacks him again and we get another super fun pull apart. Jeff keeps asking what the damn problem is as Goldy makes her way out to speak to Brian. He tells her to fuck off, and goes to tell us why, BUT SLASH OF ALL PEOPLE ATTACKS HIM AND WE GET A MATCH. Russo

Match#4 Slash vs Brian Lawler
Tenay furthers himself as the worst play by play man of the 2000's when he nonchalantly says they were meant to fight later. Jesus, would it fucking kill you to sell the spontaneity of things, you smug cunt. Don West loses his damn mind as he tries to work out if Slash came out of thin air, or if he lives under the ring. GOAT. Slash beats the shit out of Brian for a while, and its fun. Makes sense because he's another Memphis son, and Brian is an old foe. Brian's comeback is very good, and it should show Russo this man shouldn't be a heel, but Russo must Russo. Brian knocks him off the tops and nails the TENNESSEE JAM for 3
**1/4

Backstage, Jeff is yelling at Bullet. He promises he will take him down.

Match#5 Low Ki (c) vs Amazing Red vs Joel Maximo vs Jose Maximo (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Elimination Match)
Smokes the hell out of last week with ease. Not hard when you have 2 solid guys, one freak of a nature, and a shithead bully, but it still needs to be said. Red/Ki is the best part, but the rest is really fun. Ki is all alone so he has to fight 3 men, but they keep fighting amongst themselves and it lets him survive. Red does some crazy things you need to see. He's one of the special few that can do contrived things in ways that make sense. Joel gets rid of his brother with Maximum Overdrive, Ki goes insane with Kawada kicks on Jose, and Red hits his cousin with Infra Red to get rid of him. Ki/Red is short, but killer as always. Red gets caught one too many times, AND KI ENDS HIS LIFE WITH A SUPER KI CRUSHER 99
**3/4

Backstage, Goldy is with Truth. He rants about freeing African American sports stars, and Monty should be kissing his ass. HE HAD A DREAM ALSO, AND THAT WAS TO STICK HIS FOOT UP MONTY'S ASS.

NWA Title STILL can't main event. Fuck you, Jeff.

Match#6 Ron "The Truth" Killings vs Monty Brown (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)
This is fine for the most part, but something feels off that i can't put my finger on. Might be Truth is a little off tonight, or that Monty is still two years away from being ready for this spot. Just doesn't click for me. They have a ringside brawl to start us off and its fine, but its lacking some fire. Again. something is a tiny bit off. Truth's control seg goes the same way. He does hit a stunning leg drop off the top, though. Should use it a super finish. Monty's comeback is the same story. He's a little off, and it doesn't land. Finish is awful and really sums this up. Truth counters the Alpha Bomb into what's meant to be a roll up, but they fuck it up and Monty lands on Truth and he has to let him slip under with zero fight and pin him. Massive Letdown
*3/4

Post match, Jeff attacks Monty with a chair. SLAPNUTS IS PISSING ME OFF. He fights Truth until Lawler attacks him again. Monty stands by and watches as Truth and Brian beat him up, which i guess means Jeff is now face. Fucked if i know. Truth holds him for a chair shot, but Jeff drags him in the way and he eats it. Jeff is dragged away by blackshirts. Awful segment to end an awful match.

Backstage, we find Goldy interviewing Lynn. He does his angry vet thing before AJ attacks from behind to start the match

Match#7 AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn (1) (MATCH#2 NO DQ)
Another awesome fight between these two. AJ IS better than RVD for a million reasons, but he's better in this case by getting multiple bangers our of Jerry fucking Lynn, instead of one banger and a whole series of garbage. AJ takes some hideous head bumps, while Lynn takes more care to protect himself. Perfect mix of reality and kayfabe in how they approach things. Lynn beats the piss out him of by targeting the skull, and AJ's wobbly selling is awesome. It hold AJ back on his comebacks as he can't cleanly land things and it lets Lynn keep control for longer. They fight over a chair and both men take nasty shots. LYNN STEALS THE VAN DAMNATOR. Hell Yeah. Lynn keeps kicking the shit out of him, but he refuses to pin him because this is STILL about respect. AJ TAKES AN AWFUL TABLE BUMP WHERE ONLY HIS SIDE HITS IT. Had to have murdered his kidney for the next week. He kicks out! Again, his concussion selling is amazing. Lynn tries to rana him, but AJ gains his senses enough to muscle him into the Styles Clash onto a chair for 3
***1/2

WE GO STRAIGHT INTO THE NEXT MATCH.

Match#8 AJ Styles(1) vs Jerry Lynn (1) (MATCH#3, 10 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH)
AJ immediately pins him once the bell rings. Love that. AND HE PINS HIM AGAIN! AJ IS UP 2-0 IN 30 SECONDS. AJ keeps trying to wear him down, but Lynn refuses to die like the old bastard he is. He hits that gross flip facebuster on AJ again, and its able to get 3! . AJ takes the next one a couple of minutes later with a sitout shoulder breaker. The exhaustion selling is great from both men, and it hits that dramatic point without losing itself in it. Ki watches on the stage with a ladder. Lynn hits a That's Incredible, and gets the 3. HE STEALS THE STYLES CLASH AS THE BIG FUCK YOU, AND HE GETS A POINT TO TIE IT UP. One minutes to go. Lynn makes him do rollups, and I've said all I'm going to say on that. The time expires with both men at 3-3
**3/4

Ki slides into the ring and surveys the damage. He raises both their hands, AND THEN KICKS THEM BOTH IN THE SKULL. Ki, you little shit. He grabs the mic and speaks! THE X-DIVISION IS NOT ABOUT THEM, IT IS ABOUT THE MAN THAT HOLDS THE TITLE. NEXT WEEK IT WILL BE A TRIPLE LADDER MATCH, AND HE WILL PROVE IT IS NOT ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE FIGHTER, BUT THE FIGHT HE WILL BRING. ALL YOU CAN DO IS BE READY. Ki is the fucking man.

Don does his amazing hype job for next week.

We of course don't end on that, instead we get Scott Armstrong trying to tell his daddy not to fight Jeff. Bullet says a man has to do what a man has to. Kill me.

Jeff makes his way out and demands Bullet show him the surprise. Bullet comes out in the Bullet gear, so Jeff kicks the dog shit out of him. Least he's not selling for the old cripples. Bullet fights back and kicks his ass to make me look stupid. Jeff bails and then the real Bullet walks out with a chair to close the show. Awful.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: LOW KI. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-VACANT. Since-14/8/02

NWA-TNA PPV#11
August 28th, 2002
TNA ASYLUM

Earlier today, Goldy found Brian Lawler in the carpark. She tries to get answers, but Jeff attacks him from behind! Blackshirts drag him off.

Match#1 Kid Kash vs Amazing Red
Hell Yeah! Really fun back an forth to start and we as found out two weeks ago, Red is quicker and can more than hang with Kash. He starts to pull away with an insane dive, SO KASH THROWS A CHAIR AT HIS FACE. Ref doesn't DQ him, which is dumb, Kash beats him up for a bit, good work by him until Red comes back. Fun finishing run with some close near falls. Don West loses his mind again! Kash hits Red with Muscle Buster onto his shoulders for 3
**3/4

Post match, Red offers a handshake, but Kash decks him with a Lariat. S.A.T run out and kill him with a Spanish Fly.

TONIGHT: LOW KI VS JERRY LYNN VS AJ STYLES IN A TRIPLE LADDER MATCH FOR THE X TITLE

Backstage, Sonny does his terrible bullshit. Just end me, please.

Monty comes out to the ring before his match with Sonny, and cuts a promo about how Jeff has been chosen by him to get his ass kicked for hitting him with a chair.

Match#2 Monty Brown vs Sonny Siaki
This should be a squash for Monty to get his heat back after that awful match last week, but LOLTNA. Sonny is garbage as we know, and poor Monty's bad week continues as his fire has died and now he's just doing lifeless work. It drags for a while as Monty beats this idiot up, and my interest is lost during all of this. Jeff comes out and distracts the ref and Sonny hits a terrible low blow to win.
3/4*

Post match, The Bullet and B.A come out to the stage to confront Jeff, as Monty goes after him and hits him a few times in a really shit fight. Damn it,Lawler runs out through the crowd and chokes Jeff with his belt. Blackshirts eventually drag him off.

This is Monty's last appearance for two years as he goes to Japan and does local indies before coming back in early 2004. Thankfully, he'll have found charisma and ring skills by then.

Backstage, Goldy is with Slash and Flash Flanagan, a jobber from WWF. LOLTNA's hiring policy kicking off since day 1, and never slows down. Also, where the fuck is Crowbar? I miss my friend. Goldy says he's in a 4 way tag elimination match for the rights to be in a Gauntlet for the NWA Tag belts. GREAT WORK just throwing that out there in a random backstage segment and not in the ring like a normal company. Flash's new name is Kobain (get it) and he's Slash's brother. "the thrill of suicide is what he lives for and pain is his ecstasy" Kobain then cuts an awful promo about killing himself.

Match#3 BACKSEAT BOYZ vs Chris Harris & James Storm vs Hotshots vs Slash/Kobain (4-Way Elimination Match)
Love seeing the Boyz on my TV. Wish they had stuck around TNA and gotten a real shot, but its not meant to be. R.I.P Trent. They get time to shine at the start and they don't get to do a lot, but they try hard. DREAM SEQUENCE! Dive train breaks out and Trent wins with a sweet moonsualt. Chase Owens loses after taking a minute to set it up, and then nearly breaks his neck off it. LOLTNA strikes when Slash pins Trent with a shitty neckbreaker and the Boyz are out first, instead of the Shots. Kobain is fucking awful, and the fight with the Shots is bad. Harris finally gets in and tries his best to save this shithow. Great work taking a beating, and his comeback is killer. Storm gets rid of Cassidy with a the Swinging Noose. Slash still rules, so he carries the work for his partner and gives us a fun fight. Stats man Don West tells us that AMW has never lost. Don is life. Ron and Lee walk out and join commentary to bitch and moan. Control seg on Storm is fun, and Harris' hot tag is wonderful as always. Finish run is good, and Slash is beaten with the Catatonic
**
Harris and Lee attack after the match, but the other teams run out to fight them all and a brawl breaks out. Sadly, Lee and Harris stand tall to end it. Fuck you.

Backstage, Jeff yells at Bullet about running a bad ship. He says he deserves all the titles, and he will unmask the Bullet and then take care of B.A. Got to love this being a top feud.

There's another horrid Miss TNA segment. I refuse.

Backstage, Sonny is a dick to the other Elvis' again. STOP PUSHING THIS ABSOLUTE LOSER, RUSSO.

Match#4 S.A.T vs Jimmy Yang & Jorge Estrada
This is a big sloppy mess for the duration. Just a bad night for all involved. Although, that's every night for Jorge, but i expect better from the others. Sonny stops the Spanish Fly, and Jimmy beats Jose with a botched fisherman's buster
3/4*

Goldy comes out to the ring to interview Lawler. He gets mad at the way she's dressed, and tells her to fuck off. She leaves him to this bullshit. He threatens the fans for a bit, before he demands Jeff come out to the ring so they can settle this. Truth walks out because he can't escape awful booking, it seems,. He says it will take more than a concussion to keep him down. Brian says it was accident and he swears to God that's the truth. Truth calls bullshit, and Brian starts saying they're homies. DON'T. Truth says this is his place, and before it all over his ass will know the truth. Truth walks off instead of killing this dickhead. Brian says this is about his girlfriend. She's in the crowd next to a dude with a camera, and Brian thinks he's taking pics of her. He attacks him and drags her off to the back. Trash.

Recap of the Bullet/Jeff stuff.

Match#5 Jeff Jarrett vs The Bullet
Scott Armstrong is under the mask. Remember that for the next few weeks when some real LOLTNA shit hits us. Mini ASYLUM BRAWL happens. Its good because Jeff is with someone that's good, and is willing to take nasty chair shots to the head. Jeff lowblows him and cuffs him to the top rope. Uh oh. Jeff grabs the mic and says he's going to kill him with a chair and then we find out who he is. B.A runs down and fights Jeff for a moment, until Jeff brains him with the chair AND THE REF DQ'S HIM. He kicked the fuck out of Bullet with a chair and you did nothing, but he can't attack some old fuck who hit him first?
LOLTNA

Jeff keeps beating the crap out of him, and the fans love it. DEAD. They chant one more time after he hits him with the chair and bloodies him. Jeff tries to unmask him but the Blackshirts stop him and we cut away to Don and smug cunt so they can hype the next month. The fuck?

NEXT WEEK, THE BEST OF THE X-DIVISION FROM THE PAST 10 WEEKS. NOW WE WILL SEE THE GREATEST MATCH THE WORLD WILL EVER SEE, THE TRIPLE LADDER MATCH.

Hey, someone needs to save this show again, i wonder who'll it be.

Recap of the AJ/Lynn matches from last week.

Match#6 Low Ki (c) vs AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Ladder Match)
First few minutes is a basic triple threat match, and its fine and all, but it doesn't feel like anyone is trying to kill the other two so they can have a clean shot. I'm blaming Lynn. Ki is pissed off at being forgotten because of the blood feud, so he starts to fuck them up, and the match picks up as a result. AJ starts adapting his triple threat crown to the match by breaking some crazy spots, and its just the best. He again takes no care to protect his brain and it hard too watch, but we love him for it. West drops his first 'YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME" when Ki takes a backdrop onto a ladder. AJ tops it by landing on the back of his head off a ladder exploder. Ki hangs AJ upside down and kicks the everloving shit of him, and closes with a gross shoot kick to the face. Lynn keeps showing up at points and taking people out with his boring offence. Dude can't even make a ladder match fun. AJ's comeback rules, and he more than makes up for Lynn. AJ THROWS A LADDER RIGHT ONTO LYNN'S FACE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. They fight on 3 different ladders, and AJ saves himself once by kicking himself back off the top rope, but the second time he lands on the floor and he's out. LYNN HITS LOW KI WITH A FUCKING CRADLE PILEDRIVER OFF A LADDER. WHO THE FUCK IS THAT MAN, AND WHAT DID HE DO WITH LYNN? He sadly climbs up and takes the belt down to win
***
Horrible, horrible show. Once again, AJ saves the day.

TNA will return in two weeks.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: Jerry Lynn. Since-28/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-VACANT. Since-14/8/02

NWA-TNA PPV#12
September 18th, 2002
TNA ASYLUM

TNA was off air for two weeks after an X-Division special, and one where they were off the air in respect for 9/11.

Goldy kicks us off with that groove thing. Tonight a Gauntlet for the vacant tag titles. Scott Hall walks over, because he still works here? His partner is SYXX PAC, fresh from being fired from the WWF. They go off to party in the back. I'm sure that won't end badly.

TONIGHT: RON KILLINGS VS JERRY LYNN FOR THE NWA TITLE.

Poor Truth can't catch a fucking break, i swear.

We see footage from earlier today where Brian tried to fight Jeff, but Jeff slams him against a wall and says its Brian's girlfriend whose causing all this shit. Jeff says to go and find WHOSE SHE'S DOING RIGHT NOW. Classy as always, Russo.

Jeff' stupid music hits as he comes out to the ring. He says the past 3 weeks have felt like an eternity. Holy shit, he's not wrong. He demands B.A come out there and fight him, or else. Jeff ends up going backstage where we follow Jeff walking towards B.A. He goes to fight him, but the masked Bullet attacks him. LOLTNA, he now has tattoos on his arm, instead of clean skin. Awesome work, you fucking Muppet's. Bullet beats the shit out of him and its a lot of fun. He throws some very familiar punches and does a dance we all know. "OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW" BAW GAWD ITS BG JAMES AKA ROAD DOGG AKA THE ROADIE. Jeff backs off in fear of being exposed as a fraudulent singer. He says 7 years ago he walked out of the WWF with a man he thought was his best friend, and nearly committed career suicide. He joined DX, and while he's proud of it, there are some things he's sorry for. He has had a change of heart, and Jeff jumped on the James Gang and there is hell to pay. He says he will find a partner, and win the tag belts. Uh, why. You want to kill Jeff, not win the belts. Weird segment.

Backstage, Sonny says words that aren't good. He wants Lynn to win the NWA title for the X-Division. Oh, Christ, i forgot where this goes. May God have mercy on my soul.

AJ makes his way out and seems to be a bit more confident on the mic. He shits on Lynn for being a loser, and says this isn't over between them. He's in his sights until he gets the belt back.

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Kid Kash
I fucked up my dates and thought this was a feud in 03, instead of 04. My bad. This is really good though. Kash again gets pissed at another young guy hanging with him, so he tries to play their game only to get smoked. He does a rana to the outside, so AJ tops it with the Stylin DDT and stunning springboard Dropkick. Kash pulls out an ugly Phoenix Splash to try and change the tide, but AJ fights back and keeps fucking him up with stuff Kash can't see coming. 18 months out of the spotlight has put Kash a step behind the kids. LOVE this story. His old tricks like a springboard rana and a tornado DDT aren't enough to put him down. AJ dropkicks his legs (and maybe hits him in the dick) and he starts unloading bombs on Kash, until Kash returns the favour with a dropkick down low.They fight for a bit, Kash crotches him on top and tries the rana, BUT AJ HAS A TRUMP CARD KID CAN'T PLAN FOR, THE SUPER STYLES CLASH. He can pull out old tricks and get dirty when he needs to, but he can't counter the best counter wrestler in the company, and one of the leaders of the future. Awesome story.
***
Tenay does a great job of putting AJ over as the best.

Backstage, Goldy is with the returning Buff Bagwell. No, i thought he was dead. He rambles on about some shit about second chances, which leads to BG walking over and giving him a chance to be his partner for the belt. Buff agrees. Again, none of this makes sense.

JB interviews Dustin Diamond. He's doing celebrity box...Nah, fuck this.

Backstage, Goldy is with the Hot Shots. They cut a horrible, horrible promo. Goldy says tonight they will face Simon's favourite wrestler, Jimmy Rave and his partner Derek Wylde. Oh, a couple of Second City Saints are also in the match, but I'm sure they aren't anyone important. If the Shots lose, they're out of the gauntlet and the winners take their spots.

In the ring, Dustin Diamond knocks out the fat ring keeper in a boxing match. Russo, go fight JBL in a shoot fight, bro.

Match#2 Second City Saints (CM Punk & Ace Steele) vs Jimmy Rave & Derek Wylde vs Hot Shots (Gauntlet for the Gold qualifying match. Hot Shots spot on the line)
Punker starts us off, and as always is charmingly sloppy. Little missteps here and there, but when when he hits things clean its awesome. Ace is charmingly weird, while being solid as hell. Wylde is your classic CZW 2000's junior that wants to be something more, but its not happening. Jimmy is super young and two years away from starting his peak, but he tries really hard and its impossible not to love him for it. Hot Shots are not charming, and they're better off once they break up. Jimmy gets isolated by the Shots, and he makes for a good punching bag. Punk gets the hot tag and fucks up a dropkick by hitting Cassidy's shins. DEAD. Rest of it is good, though. Shit breaks down as its tends to, a dive train breaks out. Punker hits a really ugly one. Ace hits the Twist of Cain on one of the shots to win.
**1/2

Backstage, Goldy is with AMW. They hype the fact they've been fighting for this since the second show. Harris finally accepts James as a real cowboy, and even calls him buckaroo. Hell Yeah.

JB brings Hall and Pac out to the ring. Hall talks about their long history from 93 to now, and how Pac makes him love pro wrestling. Pac says more people hate him than love him, and all the bad shit they've heard about him is probably true. Another truth is that they love pro wrestling, and he's back to being a wrestler after 15 years. Pac turns into Nostradamus by saying before they get fired from here, they're going down in a blaze of glory. Harris and Lee attack from behind. They get laid out very quickly, thankfully.

Backstage, Lawler is still looking for his girlfriend. Fuck off.

Skipping the next 20 minutes as Bruce fights another woman, and one of the NASCAR twits beats Bruce up.

Russo is the devil.

Backstage, Goldy is with Lynn. He gives the standard speech about how important this is and how he wants to be double champ. Killings walks over goes nose to nose with him. He says he respects the X-Division and all that, but he's sick of hearing about them. He tells Lynn he will have to kill him to get the belt.

Match#3 Gauntlet for the Gold for the vacant NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships
The final two wrestlers will face off with their respective partners in a final match.
Kind of cool because one team could be the last two left, and they'll win the belts without having to fight.
#1 is Brian Lawler
#2 is James Storm.
They have a fun fight for 60 seconds.
#3 is Joel Maximo
He's fine, but lacking some serious fire.
#4 is Derek Wylde
He hits one dropkick on Joel, before Brian tosses him out
He kicks Joel out
He then throws James out
Worse guys they could have picked for this spot
He dances a lot
#5 is Buff
Brian tries to make him look decent, but its no good because Buff is fucking trash
#6 is Kobain
SON OF A BITCH
Brian is now really up against it, so he chills in the corner
Awful fight with Buff happens.
#7 is Ace Steele
He's a house of fire, and gets something out of Kobain
Brian is still trying to help Buff.
#8 is Jorge
FUCKING KILL ME
Ace bumps for him like the pro he is
Should have sandbagged
#9 is Brian Lee
Hits keep on coming
This isn't 96 ECW, so fuck him
#10 is Syxx Pac
THANK GOD
HOUSE OF FIRE.
SEAN WALTMAN IS THE BEST GUY
X-FACTOR TO JORGE
He chops Kobain out
Bronco Buster to Brian
#11 is CM Punk
Pac throws Steele out before Punk can get there
Awesome fight between Pac and Punker
#12 is Jimmy Rave
He goes after future enemy Punk
Fun stuff
They keep doing cool stuff to impress the bosses
#13 is Ron Harris
Yuck
He's terrible
They toss Jorge
Then Punk
Bye Rave
Buff is gone
They throw out Brian
Thank for throwing out people that were trying hard
#14 is BG James
Man has some fire
DX VS D.O.A happens
98 WWF is alive and shitty
#15 is Jose Maximo
He gets caught and thrown by Harris
Pac is still killing himself.
SO, OF COURSE BRIAN LAWLER ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND AND THE D.O.A THROW HIM OUT
Eat shit
#16 is Slash
He teams with D.O.A
Its not good
#17 is Sonny Siaki
GODDAMN YOU, RUSSO
He actually has fire for 10 seconds and looks good, but then goes right to shitty stomps and choking
Such a turd
#18 is Disco Inferno
He's teaming with Lawler
Awful punches on Sonny
This is bad
#19 is Scott Hall
The big fella is fatter than we last saw him, but he's still trying as best he can
Tons of awkward fights are happening
Hall backdrops Harris out
#20 is Chris Harris
Hall tosses Slash
Chris has his lovely fire, and does his best to save this
Disco tosses Sonny
He dances, and then gets beaten and thrown by Hall and BG
BG and Hall go to fight, but shitty Brian Lee runs over and dumps them both.
AMW will now face D.O.A in the finals
Horrible match
*3/4

They keep fighting and Chris makes it a lot of fun. Ron attacks Storm on the stage, and kills him with a shitty chokeslam. Double J runs out and attacks BG at ringside. CAN'T EVEN LET ANYONE GET SOME SHINE FOR A MINUTE. FUCKING ASSHOLE

Match#4 James Storm & Chris Harris vs D.O.A (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Nice change of pace with Harris being isolated this go round. He works as hard as he can to make the boring clubbing from D.O.A fun, and he mostly does it. Storm drags his dead body to ringside with some awesome selling. He keeps getting knocked off the apron, and Harris gets wrecked. Storm drags himself back in and goes insane with an illegal hot tag, before he gets dropped. Ron breaks out a table and they try to powerbomb Chris through Storm, BUT HARRIS FLIPS OUT OF IT AND ROLLS LEE UP TO WIN THE BELTS. FUCK YEAH
**

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED HAVE ARRIVED.

Backstage, we find BG bloodied being cradled by his daddy.

We get a tail of the tape for Truth/Lynn.

Nice of these fuckers to finally let him main event. I'm sure this will be a nice clean match with zero bullshit.

Also. while he's not great, Lynn is a serious upgrade from the dogshit Truth has been dealt over the last month with singles matches. Actually, this speaks to a massive problem of Truth playing second fiddle to everyone and being shafted in favour of others. Granted, one of them is AJ, but he deserves SO much fucking better than what's gotten. I hate TNA right now.

Match#5 Ron "The Truth" Killings (c) vs Jerry Lynn (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)
They have a fun back an forth to start, and Don again loses his freaking mind over it. Truth slams him on the X-Division championship to bust him open, and he unloads a beating from there. Great control seg from Truth, and some good selling from Lynn. He drags him in front of the camera and comes across as the crazy guy they want him to be. His cutoffs rule. Like, cartwheeling out of the corner, doing the splits and booting Lynn is his bloody face. Speaking of, Lynn is a killer bleeder. One of the best thing he does. Truth keeps beating him and it looks like hope is lost, BUT AJ STYLES WALKS OUT AND CHEERS LYNN ON. The respect has been earned, and the best feud in TNA gets more awesome. The rest of the X-Division walk out to join him. Jerry has a fun desperate comeback, with the blood putting over the top. Lynn nails a wonderful swinging DDT and Truth gets his foot on the ropes, AND AJ SHOVES IT OFF. Hell yes. AJ stands in front of his brethren as the leader, and shitty ref Scott Armstrong yells at them, which allows fuckface Sonny Siaki the chance to crotch Lynn. Fuck off. AJ and the rest of them chase him out, and Truth nails Truth or Consequences to win
**3/4

Truth plays second fiddle again, but at least its for a young guy and not another old man. Progress?

NEXT WEEK. LAWLER VS PAC. BG VS JARRETT. THE RETURN OF LOW KI.

BG walks out talking about Jeff, BUT KILLINGS ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND. Oh, no. Jeff follows as do Hall and Kid. They beat up the heels and stand tall to end the show.

Not even 3 minutes pass before Truth gets fucked again. LOLTNA

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: JERRY LYNN- Since-28/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AMERICAN'S MOST WANTED. Since-18/9/02

NWA-TNA PPV#13
September 25th, 2002
TNA ASYLUM

TONIGHT: JEFF JARRETT VS BG JAMES. JERRY LYNN DEFENDS THE X-TITLE AGAINST RON KILLINGS IN A LUMBERJACK MATCH.

Wow, that actually makes sense because of what happened last week. Kudos, TNA

Backstage, Lynn is beating the fuck out Sonny in revenge for last week. I am now forced to cheer for Jerry Lynn. Fuck my life. Sonny is now dressed like 99 Rock, with the leather pants and elbow pads. What a fucking mark. Blackshirts try to help but they get dropped, and only Nazi can break this up.

Tenay now announces Ki vs AJ in a 2/3 falls #1 contender match, and Syxx/Hall vs Lawler and Skipper. Also, AMW vs D.O.A in a tables match for the titles. That also makes sense carrying on from last week. Russo must be sick. Tenay says Truth wants to eradicate the X-Division because they take the shine from him, so the lumberjacks will all be X wrestlers. Again, that all makes sense and its freaking me out.

Match#1 Amazing Red vs Sonny Siaki
Red dives on this fucking dweeb to start, so he can take advantage of a hurt Sonny. Sadly, once it hits the ring, shithead takes over and its awful from his end. Red of course bumps like an idiot because he's actually good at his job, and won't half arse it even when he should. He takes one crazy bump right to the floor. Love Red. Mortimer Plumbtree is on the stage taking notes. Oh, shit. Red's comeback is pretty fun, but with someone worth a shit it would rule. Sonny cuts him off and hits his crappy neckbreaker for 3
*3/4

Post match, Jorge comes out and demands Sonny's Elvis gear. FUCK OFF.

BACKSTAGE, TRUTH BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF AMAZING RED. HE SCREAM HE'LL GET THEM BEFORE THEY GET HIM.

Match#2 America's Most Wanted (c) vs D.O.A (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships. TABLES MATCH)
Having the belts means they're AMW from here on out. One and done rules tonight, thank God. Like the last two times they've fought, AMW work as hard as possible to carry these bags of shit, and they do a fine job of it all. Can't wait for XXX to form so we can get some bangers, and be done with these fuckers. Harris gets isolated for a bit, and its pretty good. Storm's hot tag rules again, before everything breaks down. AMW get rid of Ron, and Storm forearms Lee through a table to win
**

Ron attacks them after the match BECAUSE WE MUST SUFFER. He powerbombs Harris through another table. and beats up blackshirts who try and stop it. His cunt brother comes and out and they go nose to nose, and the scumbags cheers for this. Nazi sympathisers everywhere. They leave together, and life gets worse.

There's some Miss TNA horseshit. Not a chance in hell.

Truth makes his way to the ring for some promo time. He speaks about how awful his childhood was growing up in rats everywhere he went. He says the fans will never know what that's like because they grew up in a nice clean house. After he won the belt he thought maybe there was no prejudice, but there's nothing but in TNA. He brings up Ricky vanishing after giving him a shot. Oh shit, Russo killed him. He demands to know why he doesn't have merch or a dressing room, while Shamrock had one. He moves on Lynn, and how he should have some homies to counteract the X Guys. That's fair. Sadly, BG walks out, and they SHOOTZ about the WWF and who carried the team, and kept the other from getting fired. Like, anyone gave a shit about them enough to want to rehash this. They finally fight, and of fucking course BG gets the best of it. BG swears this ain't over. hahhahahahahaha, i want to kill someone.

Backstage, Lawler yells at April for what she's wearing. Fucking stop this.

Shows been trash, time for our favourite son to save the day.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Low Ki (2/3 Falls Match. X-Division #1 Contendership)
We start with the awesome mat work you expect from these two, and it escalates super well. They get into a strike war and AJ's stupid brain takes over, which lets Ki take over and beat the fuck out of him. AJ throws him on the ropes and hurts Ki's hip and leg. Great selling from Ki. AJ's control seg is good fun, but restrained from normal because he's smart as hell when it comes to this. KI hail Mary's a punt and a springboard kick, before locking in the Dragon Clutch! AJ fights to get out of it, but KI sinks it deep and AJ taps. AJ comes back to life and starts throwing bombs, while selling really well. He goes after the head and neck, and KI dies on everything. If Ki wasn't wired for self-destruction, his career would be so much better. Fuck him for that. He makes a fun comeback, and goes for the weakened neck. AJ tries to powerbomb him, but Ki rolls through on it, but AJ musters enough strength to roll him back over and he gets a deep cover to even it up. KI BOOTS HIM IN THE SKULL RIGHT AWAY, BUT AJ GRABS A SECOND KICK AND THROWS HIS HURT LEG INTO THE RAIL. They're both messed up and get a gritty fight. AJ keeps going for the leg, even doing a top rope shin breaker like his future mentor. KI tries to fight back, and AJ can maybe sense he might be about to get beaten, so he eye pokes the ref and lowblows Ki. KI kicks out of that, so AJ breaks out the Styles Clash and steals the win
***1/4

Backstage, Goldy is with Double J. Jeff with one segment this deep in! Yeah, Russo must be dead. He rants about not getting a title shot, but he will get in when its all said and done.

Match#4 Brian Lawler & Elix Skipper w/April vs WOLFPACK
Pac/Skipper is a ton of fun, and i wish that was the match. Lawler keeps being a cunt to April, and it distracts him from the match, so Skipper does the bulk of the work. They isolate Hall, and its fine as we can get with a rapidly washed Hall. Brain is still there, but his body is fucked. Brian yells at April again, so Don West tells him to knock it off. Don is a king. Pac gets back in and he and Hall murder Skipper. Pac catches him coming off the top with an X-Factor
**

BAW GAWD, DOUBLE J ATTACKS THEM AFTER THE MATCH AND LEAVES THEM LAYING WITH STROKES. Truth and Lawler join in and beat on them, until the Nazi runs them off. Guess, BG was busy.

Backstage, AJ keeps dancing as Goldy tries to talk to him. He says he is cocky, but he is the best sports entertainer in the world. He's getting back on top, and speaking of, he wants Lynn in a ladder match next week. Get ready for LOLTNA. boys and girls

More Miss TNA shit.

Match#5 Kid Kash vs Jorge Estrada
Kid's hot streak goes out the window as he's forced to carry this fucking twit. From his end its fine, but fuck me Jorge is awful. Mortimer is taking notes again. This leads somewhere good for once, so, cool. Some boring stuff happens, and Jorge sadly wins with his stupid lionsault senton
3/4*

Post match, Sonny comes out and burns the Elvis costume, and Jorge cries. Should have lit himself on fire tbqh

Recap of last week.

Match#6 Jerry Lynn (c) vs Ron "The Truth" Killings (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Lumberjack Match)
Red, Low Ki, Estrada and Kash are the Jacks. Uh, there's like 10 X-guys, you fucking idiots. Lynn is marginally all fired up to start and its good. I now await for this to die in a few weeks. Truth's comeback is great, and i wish he would have gotten an X Run at some point, but its not meant to be. The X guys refuse to attack Lynn, so once again Truth is out numbered. AJ watches on the stage with a ladder. Truth's control seg is fun, but lacking from last week. Still, smokes half the shit he's been forced to deal with. Lynn's comeback is also lacking, but we expect and accept that. Truth starts cheating, so Ki drops Truth throat first on the ropes, and LYNN BEATS HIM WITH A TKO. SON OF A BITCH
**1/4

Truth is livid. Me too, Truth. Me too.

NEXT WEEK: YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS LYNN VS AJ IN A LADDER MATCH. NOT ONLY THAT, WE WILL SEE THE HAVOC TRUTH WILL REEK NEXT WEEK. Sonny will be doing something, but fuck that twit. ALSO, JEFF JARRETT, SYXX PAC AND SO MUCH MORE.

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett vs BG James
Awesome fight to start us off, and It rules because BG is another man born for this, and Jeff works extra hard for his Roadie. ASYLUM BRAWL BREAKS OUT, AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Tons of gross chair shots from both men. Jeff gets the best of it and starts beating the piss out of BG. If Jeff's booking wasn't the worst, he'd be my favourite son. Oh, well. Its just not to meant to be. BG's comeback is fine, but Jeff helps with his bumping. Some fuckery happens because they can't help themselves, Skipper tries to help but he gets taken out, so Lawler run down and tries. BG gets rid of them both, but it lets Jeff kill him with a chair shot. BG kicks out of it, and no sells so he can hit the Pumphandle. The heels run in, and NOW its a DQ. For fucks sake, TNA
**

Syxx and Hall run down and turn the tide for a moment, but Truth rubs down and kills them all with title shots to the dome. TNA letting Truth get some heat back! What the fuck is this? Heels keep killing them to close the show. Planet Jarrett is sort of here.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: JERRY LYNN- Since-28/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-18/9/02

NWA-TNA PPV#14
October 2nd, 2002
TNA ASYLUM

TONIGHT: ALL 3 TITLES WILL BE ON THE LINE. TRUTH VS LOW KI (TRUTH HAS BLAMED KI FOR HIS LOSS TO LYNN) LYNN VS AJ IN A LADDER MATCH.

BG and Syxx make their way out for some mic work. TNA is a Twilight Zone version of WWF 98 with the midcard and weird cosplayers for the top guys, and you can't tell me otherwise. He does his rhyming stuff and its no longer cool or funny, which fits with my theory. He challenges Lawler, Jeff and Skipper to fight them so they can get SHIPWRECKED. Get it? He moves on to Truth, and says he was touted as the future but its grim right now. BG is the past and present, and Truth ain't ready until they say so. Kindly, shut the fuck up. Syxx says Ki has been sent to do a job they should be doing, because right now Ki isn't in their league. DEAD. He saves it bu saying soon he will be, but tonight they should be fighting Truth. BG gets it back and says Truth is hiding from him like he hid from the law. He got arrested and served his time, you fucking junkie. Don't throw stones. Truth comes out and says they aren't coming for anyone not up in here, and he knows this is really about the belt. Truth calls them Good Ol Boys and he's pissed on what they built. He calls them crackers and Syxx decides to call him boy, while saying this isn't the 60's. HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO BAD.

Jarrett now walks out, and for the first time in weeks I'm happy to see him. He asks where the other member of team derelict is tonight. Dealing with his personal demons again? Jeff you REALLY don't want to throw that stone, buddy. Jeff decides to finally throw away the mask and become the booker by booking a handicap match. Skipper and Lawler attack from behind in the ring. The faces easily fight back, and clear the ring. Planet Jarrett walk out in anger.

Horrible segment. Got a bad feeling about tonight. I mean, i always do when it comes to TNA, but this feels REAL dire.

Tenay says they'll try to call Scott and hear why he's not here.

Match#1 Amazing Red vs Shark Boy
SHELL YEAH. Skipper joins commentary, and he's pissed that he's been taken out of the main event, and now its a straight tag team match. This leads somewhere awesome, folks. Oh, the match. Its a fun back an forth for 5 minutes with both guys getting show off a little. Mortimer is on the stage again taking notes. Shark boy is bigger so he throws Red around and beats him up for a bit. Good stuff. Red's comeback rules as you would expect, and he takes it with Infra Red and Red Star Press
**1/2

Skipper rushes the ring and attacks him, He beats up blackshirts, until the Nazi drags him off and Skipper leaves. Way to make him look like a bitch.

Recap of Truth/Lynn.

Backstage, Goldy speaks to Low Ki. He addresses Pac by saying to remember who started what. Huh? He says Truth has disrespected the X-Division for weeks because it took his spotlight, well now Ki is here to make a difference. He says emotion has gotten in the way and truth is not ready for him. He drops his catchphrases.

Truth now storms out to the ring and rants about Ki. He says he gave him a snot because he felt sorry for him and he GAVE him an opportunity. now, Ki is part of the conspiracy against him and he's going to need to pack a gun and kill him to beat him. HE WANTS THE MATCH NOW. Ki walks out, and shit is on!

Match#2 Ron "The Truth" Killings (c) vs Low Ki (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)
Awesome fight to start us off, and its heartwarming to see Truth in there with someone who rules. They keep fighting on the outside and Truth gains control, AND HE KICKS HIM INTO FUCKING CROWD. This leads to a mini Asylum Brawl, and that's a ton of fun. Ki adapts really well to it. I bet he was a champion street fighter in his day. Truth rams an equipment case into Ki's ribs to take over, and we get another super fun control seg. Mortimer is back on the stage, and DW realises he's only watching X Guys. Truth goes after the ribs and Ki sells really well. Ki starts to fight back and sells his ribs as he does it. It holds him back and lets Truth stay in control. He misses a 450, and Ki now mounts a comeback. Still selling btw. He beats the hell out of him, but the ribs stop him from finishing the job. He locks in the Dragon Clutch, but Truth elbows the ribs to get out of it. They fight on top and Truth punches at them again, and he hits a massive Gordbuster now called True Convictions to win the match
***

He goes to speak, BUT A MAN IN A WHITE HOODIE AND MASK ATTACKS HIM. Oh, God. This is bad. SO fucking bad. Truth is left laying as the guy runs away.

Match#3 S.A.T vs Jorge Estrada & Jimmy Yang (#1 Contenders Match)
Oh, come on. This sucked last time they did it. Also, it just hit me how bad the division is at this point. Shit won't get better until at least 2003, and even then its bad until 05. This is better than last time as they work harder because its important, and Jorge isn't as awful as normal. He blows, but not as much. Mortimer is on the stage again. S.A.T hit 90% of their stuff clean, as does Yang. Sonny walks out and watches on the stage. Don suspects Mortimer is with Sonny. DW is thankfully wrong. Shit breaks down as it tends do, and Sonny distracts his friends. S.A.T take advantage and kill Jorge with a Steiner DDT AKA MAXIMO EXPLOSION
**1/4

Sonny is a bastard, man.

We go backstage, and Lynn attacks Sonny! AJ runs over and HOLDS LYNN FOR SONNY TO PUNCH HIM, AND HE KEEPS SHOUTING "HEY, STOP IT, SONNY" AMAZING. THEY THROW HIM INTO A CASE, AND AJ SITS ON IT AND TELLS SONNY HE'S LUCKY HIS MUM DIDN'T SEE THAT. AJ BOBS HIS HEAD BACK AN FORTH ON THE BOX AS SOME MUSIC PLAYS. OK, that ruled.

Match#4 David Young vs Sonny Siaki
Poor DY is bought back to help this fucking idiot. Hey, how about you push him, ya daft fucks. Everything from his end is killer, and everything from Sonny is a mood killer. Money Clip takes it
*3/4

Recap of AMW/Harris/Lee

Match#5 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Don Harris & Ashley Hudson. (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Son of a bitch! Again, tag division sucks a ton, so i can't be too mad. Doesn't mean i won't complain, though. Lee must be busy with Crush, so they got a jobber. AMW do their thing and its good enough to make this worth a shit. Ron keeps yelling at Hudson, and accidentally kicks him in the dome and AMW pin him
*3/4

Post match, Ron beats him up, and even hits AMW with chair shots when they try and stop it. FUCK YOU. His Nazi brother runs down and punches him. Only Russo would think it wise to push Nazi's

Backstage, Lynn is holding his neck as the Flying Douche bags stand by his side.

Match#6 Jerry Lynn (c) vs AJ Styles (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Ladder Match)
AJ goes after the neck right away, and Lynn is badly hurt. His selling is really good, and he has to get gritty to gain anything. AJ takes another brain shot when a ladder gets drop-kicked into his face. HE TOPS IT BY HAVING A LADDER DROPPED RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. Dude, please stop. Lynn keeps cutting him off, while selling all the damage. Mortimer is on the stage again, Also, DW tells us that AJ has never been pinned. hmmm. AJ fights back by going after the neck. He breaks out his amazing springboard moonsault to Lynn lying on a ladder! Sonny now comes out to watch. Lynn slowly fights back and kills AJ with a gross suplex to a ladder bridge. Both men are now badly hurt and it hinders them from really being able to take the other out for long. The ref gets taken by a ladder after AJ shoves Lynn backwards and it hits him. AJ then gets busted open after a legdrop on a chair, and he's all fucked up. It gets gritty from here, and while it never hits the next level, its still really good. Both have close calls to grabbing the belt, but neither can do it. Don gives a PSA to the kids not do this, or they'll die. Sonny runs down and fights with Lynn, and AJ takes Jerry out with a wild springboard dive. He climbs back in and gets the belt!
***
AJ is now the first two time champion in TNA history. Well deserved.

Lynn and Sonny have a fight on the ramp, and AJ joins in and beats down Lynn. Good, kill him. The entire X-Division run down and run the heels off. Bullet makes his way out and grabs the belt. OH NO. He says AJ tried to pull the wool over his eyes, but its not going to work. It did work, you old asshole. AJ won. He makes another ladder match for next week, and AJ will be a CONTENDER because the belt is going back to Lynn. Complete crock of shit. Another heel fucking over one of our guys.

Also, Lynn is legit hurt from this match, so the belt is vacated in the next week. Get ready for some REAL LOLTNA shit.

NEXT WEEK: THE LADDER MATCH. DON'T FORGET THAT CHRIS ROCK WILL BE HERE TO FILM A MOVIE. MASSIVE GET FOR TNA. LOW KI VS ACE STEEL VS KID KASH VS TONY MAMALUKE IN AN IRON MAN MATCH. Someone watched ROH.

Before the main event, Syxx and BG call Brian and Jeff bitches. Also, notorious woman sealer Syxx says he's been sleeping with April, and he can watch if he wants. What a dick

Match#7 BG James & Syxx Pac vs Brian Lawler & Jeff Jarrett w/April.
Of course this shit main events, and not a massive angle. ASYLUM BRAWL! Pac and Jeff fight for the first time since 99, and its great. Should have just ran that, and saved me the trouble. Fans chant "HE BANGED, APRIL" Stay classy. BG gets isolated, and the control seg is perfectly fine. Pac's hot tag is great, and i need that Jeff match. Shit breaks down, and Skipper shows up and takes out Pac with Play of the Day. Pac kicks out, because fuck you Skipper, ya loser. BG then beats him up. We go back to Pac and Jeff fighting which is good, but could you not ruin Skipper? BG's hot tag is whatever. Man's old and fat. He beats Brian with the Pumphandle, because fuck him.
**

Planet Jarrett beat them up, until Red and S.A.T run down turn the tide. Skipper gets killed with the Fly. Jeff brains everyone with weak chair shots, and Truth runs down to help beat the faces down. They stand strong to end the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: RON "THE TRUTH" KILLINGS. Since-7/8/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: JERRY LYNN- Since-28/8/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS-AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-18/9/02

NWA-TNA PPV#15
October 9th, 2002
TNA ASYLUM

HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY, DONNIE.

TONIGHT: CHRIS ROCK IS HERE. NASCAR DIPSHIT IS HERE. AMW VS S.A.T. BG/SYXX/MYSTERY PARTNER VS JEFF/BRIAN/TRUTH

Recap of Truth being attacked.

Truth walks out for some mic time. He shits on Memphis sports teams, before shitting team derelict. He says the attacker was part of a big conspiracy against him. He knows the masked man will be the mystery partner. BUT THE SUNTAN SUPERMAN AIN'T HAVING THAT SHIT IN HERE. SO STOP SINGING IT, BRING IT. He singles out Don West for saying bad things about him, so DW fires back and says Truth attacks everyone and he now he's out here complaining. Truth threatens to murder DW with a baseball bat, but he's a pebble on the beach and he's not worth it.

BG and Syxx now come out for some terrible rhyming. Hey, knock it off, please. He finally says we don't live in a PERFECT world, or do we. BAW GAWD, FAT BLOATED CURT HENNIG MAKES HIS DEBUT AS THE MYSTERY PARTNER. He says he was hired to do a job tonight, and it will be done perfectly. Press X for doubt. Syxx calls Truth boy again, and says they're going to whip his ass so bad he'll think he's messed up on drugs. What, like you? Jeff and Brian attack them. Big Brawl happens, and Curt looks terrible. I feel bad shitting on him given he'll be dead in 5 months, but i can't lie.

Match#1 Ron Killings, Brian Lawler & Jeff Jarrett w/April vs Syxx Pac, BG James & Curt Hennig
Tenay tries to claim Curt was a full fledged Horseman, which is maddening to hear. Fucking idiot. Jeff tries his best to make Curt look good as possible, but he just cant. The other two feuds get time to shine, and both are pretty fun. BG gets isolated and he can take a beating, so its good. Pac's hot tag rules, and its a shame TNA is about to LOLTNA that. He gets isolated shortly after, and that's even better than the BG one. Jeff/Pac, again is wonderful. Just run that match, please. Curt's hot tag is fucking rough as guts, and it hurts to watch the heels bump for him. BG attacks Jeff with a chair and they fight off. Shit breaks down, and Pac carries the load. The ref gets bumped and the masked man attacks him again. His hoodie says "MR WRESTLING III" He bails, and Curt his an awful Hennig Plex to pin Truth. OH, GET FUCKED
**
Backstage, BG is dead on a staircase, and Jeff drops a pipe on the ground before crawling away.

Recap of AJ/Lynn, and all the stuff that lead us here.

JB brings Lynn out to the ring. He says Sonny is a little bitch, and he wants to fight him next week. DEAR GOD, NO. Sonny now comes flexing his pecs like a right twat. He's one eyebrow away from getting shived. After some awful words, he challenges him to fight now. They fight and its bad because Jerry is actually hurt, and he shouldn't be doing this. Sonny throws him off the stage and Lynn's leg gets stuck in the rail. Refs and medics check on him, and he's eventually carted off. Later, old man.

At the booth, Tenay goes through all the different scenarios of what happens next.

We see footage from earlier today where Pac went into the lockeroom to say sorry to Ki for last week. He says he's respects him and thinks he's the best guy in the NWA. Ki goes to accept and AJ Walks over to stop this ass kissing. He says he's beaten Ki 4 times, and he says that even after 15 years, Syxx can't do what he can do. AJ should be his favourite wrestler, because he's X-Division and that's what its all about. He walks off and Ki calls him a jerk. This actually leads somewhere good, and shows Syxx is good dude underneath his awful behaviour. But, we have to go through LOLTNA to get there.

Match#2 America's Most Wanted (c) vs S.A.T (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
AMW finally don't have to carry the load, so this really good. S.A.T are still sloppy at points, but a major improvement of the shit we've gotten. Storm gets isolated for a bit, and Harris goes wild with an illegal tag, he hits an awesome spear, and kills one of them after he shoves him off the ropes and he eats the floor. HE KILLS THE OTHER ONE WITH AN AWESOME PLANCHA. CHRIS FUCKING HARRIS. It slows down again, and legal man Storm is beaten up for a while. Fun control seg from them, and Storm is great again as the FIP. Harris' hot tag is also great again, he acts a bit heelish by getting the one other to distract the ref, and seems more angry than normal. Weird choice given everything. Fucking Russo. Shit breaks down, and everyone goes wild and we get a ton of close calls and cutoffs. AMW throw one of them up in the air and grab on to his throat and drive him down, and that gets 3. Super weird finish. Still, that ruled.
***
Chris Rock comes out and puts the company over. I hope he was paid in cash, because shit is bad right now. I'll cover that on the last show of October,

Match#3 Kid Kash vs Low Ki vs Tony Mamaluke vs Ace Steel (15 Minute Ironman Match)
Ace is now using Abyss' theme. Zero clue as to why Tony was bought back, or even booked by anyone for the next 3 years. Weird shit. Mortimer joins commentary after Tenay says he invited him. They do the fucking standoff 90 seconds in to no reaction. DEAD. Eat shit, Lynn. Kash nearly breaks Ace's neck with a botched rana. Mama then nearly kills himself off a dive. Second time he's done that. Least he didn't hit the rail this time. KI and Kash do springboard lariats on each other, and Ace and Mama splash them both and get 3. So, they're tied 1-1. Ki/Ace and Mama/Kash pair off, and you can guess which one rules. Kid beats Mama with a brainbuster. Ki beats Ace with an gross armbreaker. Kash/Mama fight on the outside and Kash beats the hell out of him, AND HE DROPS TONY ON HIS HEAD AND NECK WHEN HE THROWS HIM OFF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE. Jesus Christ, the poor fuck. Tony's shoulder is wreaked as a result. Total dick move on Kid's part. Ace goes after Ki's ankle, and Tenay tells us that he hurt in Japan. Really good selling from Ki. All 4 keep trying for pins for the next while, and its pretty fun. Comes down to Ki and Ace again, and Ace suplexs him as the time expires and the bell rings, but Mortimer grabs Ki's bad ankle and the ref counts anyway. Jesus, that was bad.
**1/2
I do wonder if it happened like that because of Ki being Ki, or if TNA just botched it. Both are 100% possible.

There's another Miss TNA/NASCAR fuck segment. Not a chance in hell.

Match#4 Chris & Rick Micheal s vs Sonny Siaki & Ron Harris (#1 Contenders Match)
LOLTNA time, boys and girls. First, why the fuck is Sonny teaming with this moron? Your building him as a top heel in the X-Division (for better, or much worse) so he should be protected. Second, Ron is feuding with his Nazi brother, so why is he bothering with this? Third, why in the fuck is this is a #1 contenders match when Ron is a massive loser, and the Michael's are nothing yet? Christ, I swear if a tiny bit if thought went into anything in TNA, they'd be so much better off. Sonny does the bulk of the work, and that's not good. He has it won, but Ron gets mad and knocks him out. AND SONNY EATS THE PIN! What the fuck, you morons
LOLTNA

Sonny attacks this asshole, and of course the fans side with him. Don runs out..AND SIDES WITH HIS BROTHER.

Vince Russo is an agent of the Devil sent to test wrestling fans, and i will hear nothing else.

The NWA rep comes out and announces Lynn is died, and he can have a title shot when he's not. He announces Ace Steel will now face AJ in the ladder match. Ki makes his way out (selling the ankle) He says he was screwed by a computer nerd, AND HE COULD HAVE TAKEN A TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR SIGNING BONUS IF HE WANTED TO WIN LIKE THAT. Uh, i don't think that's true, but Ki's going to Ki. Mortimer now walks out (and he's taller than anyone else. Horrible idea to have him out here) He says $10 words i refuse to write, and then says Ki tried to fight Sunny. SHOOTZ WITH ZERO EXPLANATION. There he is. Ki shooz back and says not to listen to the internet. STOP THIS. Bullet finally walks out and makes a #1 contenders match right now

Match#5 Low Ki vs Ace Steel w/Mortimer (#1 Contenders Match)
60 seconds before Mortimer hits Ki's bad ankle with a chair, and he gets counted out
1/2*

Bullet now announces it will be an OPEN CONTRACT for the Ladder match. Remember that folks, some shit is coming. S.A.T, Kash, and Mama all join the match. Tony is still hurt, so TNA are cunts for making him work. Won't be the last time i say that.

Match#6 AJ Styles vs Ace Steel vs Joel Maximo vs Jose Maximo vs Kid Kash vs Tony Mamaluke (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Open Contract Ladder Match)
Mortimer is at ringside. Big old wild X-style spotfest that i live for. AJ HITS THE SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS. SO GODDAMN PRETTY. I know why he doesn't do it anymore, but man i miss it. He keeps doing insane things, and all the others work as hard as possible to keep up. Tony takes a HIDEOUS bump on his shoulder. We get lots of cool dives and spots, and this one of those matches you're better off watching. Ladder sandwiches, ugly shots to the brain, and lots people dying. Karma pays Kash back when he nearly breaks his ankles off a botched moonsault. Tony gets my love by continually taking insane things with a legit fucked shoulder. They fight on all the ladder and lots of ugly shit happens.. AJ gets pushed into the ref during the chaos, and i thought the fat man was pulling something, but he wasn't. AJ PUTS ONE OF THE S.A.T'S LEG ACROSS BOTH SIDES OF THE LADDER, AND HE PUSHES THE LADDER DOWN ONTO HIS CHEST AND LEGS. GOOD LORD. KASH SPRINGBOARD DROPKICKS ACE AND MAMA OFF THE LADDER, AND TONY TAKES ANOTHER BUMP ONTO HIS BAD ARM. DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK. KASH TAKES A SPANISH FLY OFF ONE. Ace eats a gross Sunset Bomb off another. Tony botches a DDT on AJ off another one, and i won't hate on him for it. AJ kills him off with a gross throw to the floor. He then brainbusters Kash off the top rope, and the ring is all clear. NAH, LOLTNA HITS US, AS SYXX PAC NOW RUNS DOWN AND SUPLEXES HIM OFF. HE PULLS THE BELT DOWN TO WIN
***1/4

On one hand, it not 100% LOLTNA because they built this earlier in the night, and AJ had it coming for being a dickhead. However, combined with Syxx stealing April, being a prick to Truth, and now this, it makes him a heel. Which i don't think is the intended direction, but that's where I'm at. Just a big confusing mess that should never happen, but its a Vince Russo booked company. Least we get Pac/AJ out of it.

DW announces next week it will be Pac/AJ in a ladder match. Jesus, stop running them and give us something new. AMW vs the Michael's. Jarrett vs BG.