WWE Raw, Smackdown, PPV's 2004 Review Thread (Maybe HeAT & Velocity Matches)

[Deezy]

Prime Brock getting beat up by a retired Austin with a bad neck and two blown out knees....but people actually bitched more about him putting over Cena

 

[Crippler]

RAW
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Booker T & Rob Van Dam
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

Smackdown
WWE Champion: Eddie Guererro
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: Scotty II Hotty & Rikishi
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guererro Jr.

​

WWE WrestleMania XX
March 14th, 2004
Madison Square Garden: New York City

The Boys' Choir of Harlem sings "America The Beautiful" BLACK EXCELLENCE!

John Cena comes out sucking up earing a Knicks Ewing jersey, he cuts this generic RAP promo that I swear only the white people in the crowd ohhhh and ahhh during.

WWE United States Championship: John Cena vs. The Big Show
This is probably my favorite Cena/Show match ever, both men brought their A games and nothing felt wasted. Show dominates like 80% of the match, picking apart Cena with strikes and power moves. Cena has these really fun mini-comebacks with punches but Show would show his "agile" speed and come out of nowhere with a big boot or clothesline to get the momentum back. Show works the back and it's really good, Cena's selling if iffy, like his version of selling is through facial expression rather than grab the back. He completely ignores it when it's time for his comeback though, He hits the FU but Show kicks out of two, I think that's the 2nd or 3rd person to ever kick out of the FU. Cena grabs the chain, but the ref takes it away that allows Cena to grab the WORD LIFE KNUCKS and nails Show in the head, he then picks him up for the 2nd FU for the win. **3/4

Backstage: Coachman is feeling himself and daps up Teddy before going into Eric's office. Eric says he's been hearing weird noises around the arena and thinks it's the Undertaker. He says he wants Coach to find him, Coach doesn't like it at first but agrees.

Backstage: Randy Orton, Ric Flair, and Batista are standing at a staircase. He talks about when he kicked him down these flight of stairs and a Legend Killer was born. He begins talking about when Foley ran from him. Orton introduces clips of Foley walking away, coming back, and getting beaten up time and time again. He says he can respect that Foley won't admit it's over, but they've passed him by. It's only Evolution.

WWE World Tag Team Championship: La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak & Carrison Cade vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Booker T & Rob Van Dam
This is all ASS outside Booker making everyone else look competent in the ring, at one point all 3 other teams have a heat segment on Booker. Granted it's pretty boring and felt like some TV filler opener. RVD does his best of hits hot tag against the heels, the Dudleyz clearly give no fucks as they just stayed on the apron. The match breaks down and everyone starts doing shit. Cade stops a Dudleyz 3D which leads to Conway getting hit with the Scissors Kick and Frog Splash for the win. How you have a filler 2nd match in. SMH! *3/4

Backstage: Coach hears some banging in a door somewhere, he opens it and finds Mean Gene half naked, Bobby Heenan comes out and has lipstick on his face. He says they were playing cards..................BUT MAE AND MOOLAH COME OUT! And drag them back in for round 2 BRAH!

Christian vs. Chris Jericho
So this is still fucking great it's how a grudge match is supposed to be, no mat wrestling to start no feeling out, just trash talking/fighting and real intense hard-hitting moves. Babyface Jericho is the greatest as he busting out all the flashy springboard dives and shit. I also love how they are doing callback spots like they use the Rumble spot with Christian trying to throw Jericho out over the top, but Jericho catches himself and backdrops Christian to the floor. About a minute later Christian backdrops Jericho to the floor but he had to cheat to get his by going to the eyes. Christian initial heat is good he doesn't work a specific body part he just wants to beatdown his former BFF. and Jericho's comeback is super dope, man I missed full babyface, Jericho. Christian tried to use the ropes for a roll-up counter like their IC Title match in September 2003, but this time, it failed. FUCK YEAH more callbacks. They go back and forth hitting big moves the next being bigger then the last with close near falls, kinda weird that it took 12 minutes or so for Christian to finally go after Jericho's hurt knee, he locks in the nice little Texas Cloverleaf but Jericho counters into a walls and then they never go back to it again. They again go back to the top but Jericho gets the better with a double armed suplex for two. Trish runs out looking insanely hot to watch on. She gets on the apron so Christian drags her in and throws her into the corner. Jericho goes to check on her but she has her back turned and elbows him which allows Christian to roll him up for the win. After the match; Trish checks on him, Christian runs out and distracts Jericho which leads to Trish slapping him twice and Cristian hitting him with the unpreittier. FUCK YEAH! They leave together up the ramp as Jericho slowly gets up, and they stop on the stage. AND BEGIN MAKING OUT! CLB DA GOAT! ***1/2

​

So yeah, amazing build, great match that totally paid off even if they didn't really target the knee and it was a pretty big deal during the build. 2004 is now 2-2 on amazing builds with a satisfying payoff.

Backstage: Lilian interviews Mick, she asks him how he feels going into his first match in 4 years. Foley says this is WM in MSG. He says he's overcome with emotion and hopes his hatred doesn't get in his way. The Rock comes over and says tonight is Mick Foley's night. He shows Hurricane and Rosey eating hamburgers and a cool shot of Superfly and Don Morocco standing next to one another. Rock says they're about to slap the candy lips off dem Evolution Bitches. IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK 'n' SOCK ARE COOKING!

3-On-2 Handicap Match: Evolution (Ric Flair, Batista & Randy Orton) vs. The Rock 'n' Sock Connection
So this went 17 minutes which is crazy considering how Foley hasn't wrestled in 4 years and Rock in just under 11 months, last match was what Backlash 2003? But I will give them credit everyone played their role, especially Flair who was bumping like this was the 80's. I remember in a shoot interview Foley said he hated the match because in the story he hated Orton so much that it didn't make sense that he would tag out to Rock when he had Orton to himself, which is a fair point. Evolution has a nice little heat segment on Rock, it's nothing to write about or memorable. Rock/Flair rules tho. The match breaks down, and behind the refs back Orton sends Foley's knees into the steel steps which give Evolution control again. They all take turns beating the shit out of Foley and all pick a specific body part. So Batista works the back, Orton the neck and Flair the knees. Foley's bumping in this rules. The finishing stretch is AWESOME! Rock has this fun 20-second hot tag but runs into a Batista spinebuster. FLAIR THEN GOES FOR HIS OWN PEOPLE'S ELBOW BUT ROCK NIPS UP AND TAKES OUT FLAIR! He then hits his own Spinebuster/people elbow. Orton tags back in but gets hit with a Rock bottom but only gets two. Flair distracts the ref which allows Batista to hit the Batista bomb on Rock, as Foley just watches on the apron. Like he watches Flair distract the ref, he watches the powerbomb he even watches Orton cover as the Rock kicks out. Anyway, Foley tags back in for another hot tag, he goes for Mr. Socko but he sticks his head in too far allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the win. I really enjoyed the style structure here of this past superteam trying to comeback for one last glorious moment but they haven't teamed in 5 years and went up against a team who already had the numbers advantage but they also have been together around 300 days a year with one another. They'd keep getting hot tags but get cut off by the superior teamwork of a currently active unit. 17 minutes didn't feel like it but they did a great job as leaving me wanting more Orton/Foley and Rock/Flair. ***

After the match; Foley gets a standing ovation, Rock and Sock hug it out.

Highlights of the Class of 2004 Hall Of Fame ceremony airs, followed by all the wrestlers being introduced on the stage.

Playboy Evening Gown Match: Sable & Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie & Stacy Keibler
Busted at least 6 nuts in the 2 minutes.

​

Backstage: Eddie and Benoit are talking, Eddie says they are like brothers and no matter what happens he will always be proud of him, win or lose. Benoit says NO LOSE! Eddie says you're taking on HHH and HBK, no one expects you to win. Benoit says HE BELIEVES IN HIM! AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS! Eddie smiles about it, saying that's the Chris Benoit he believes in.

Cruiserweight Open for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
All drawings are random except for Chavo who will be last.........................BUT FUCK ALL THAT! OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CHAVO THEME DEBUT this by far is the greatest thing about Chavo's wrestling career. Rey is dressed as the Mexican Flash so that's cool. Moore/Dragon start they do stuff for about a minute until Dragon hits the Asai DDT and covers for three. Noble is in next who has a real fun interaction with Dragon, poor Dragon he might be in the top 5 biggest failed runs in WWE history. Noble applies the front Guillotine and Dragon tapes. Funaki was in next and Noble immediately rolls him up for three LOL. Nunzio is in next. He and Noble do some nice things, its a constant struggle for both men, counters, and reversals. Noble throws Nunzio to the floor and Noble busts out his sweet sunset flip plancha. They battle on the floor with Noble knocking Nunzio off the apron at 8 as Noble rolls in to beat the count. Kidman is in next who immediately tries to break Nunzios jaw and his own head by fucking up a SSP to the floor. About a minute later Kidman hits the BK Bomb and pins Noble. Rey's in next who carries Kidman's fat ass for a few minutes, Chavo distracts the ref as Akio hangs Rey up on the top rope, Kidman doesn't really capitalize off it he tries again for the BK bomb off the top but Rey counters into a code red off the middle and pins him. Tajiri is in next and they have a fun minute. Tajiri misses the mist and gets Akio, allowing Rey to get a Victory Roll to win. This apparently means Akio is also eliminated. Chavo/Rey is cool for like another minute, it left like something during the opening minute of a tag match. Chavo Sr. helps him with a Sunset Flip cutback for the win. Total waste of time, if you're gonna have an open match you need more than 10 minutes with 10 opponents. Now if it was Rey vs. Chavo vs. Noble vs. Tajiri for 10 minutes maybe more with all the cut entrances, that has potential. FUCK IT! NEXT! **

​

LESNAR/GOLDBERG HYPE!

Brock Lesnar vs. Bill Goldberg (Special Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin)
Well, here it is the infamous Brock/Goldberg I match. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL The network must have edited the shit out of Goldberg's entrance audio cause it sounds all fucked up and from the music placement, crowd reaction and even pipped in chants. FUCKERY BEFORE THE FUCKERY! So they basically stand around for the first 3 minutes as the crowd go from chanting "you sold out" to singing "na na na na" Goldberg yells FUCK THESE PEOPLE! As they continue to look at one another for a further minute. hey finally locked up and then spent about 2 minutes battling over lock ups as the crowd now begin chanting for Austin. King looks and sounds dumb founded as why they ain't doing shit as JR tries to cover it up. They move into shoulder tackle attempts with neither men budging, after about 7 minutes Goldberg hits is AWESOME press-slam into spear takedown spot, but as he goes for the spear Brock moves and Goldberg goes shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Brock works the arm for all of 20 seconds before just going to power moves and rest hold submissions, hilariously Goldberg sells the shoulder throughout and the whole time Brock is doing stuff not directly to the arm. This is what it is. The crowd's insistent on ruining this, and maybe they could have saved it by just going balls out from the point they realized this is a different crowd, but they didn't. The crowd begins chanting "THIS MATCH SUCKS" So Goldberg hits a spear but only gets a two, he gets in Austin's face about the count which allows Brock to recover and nail an F5 for two. Brock then goes for a spear on Goldberg but he misses and goes into the ring post, that allows Goldberg to hit the 2nd spear and jackhammer for the win. UGH! Rough to watch. 1/2*

After the match; Brock gets up and gives the people along with Austin the middle fingers so Austin hits him with a stunner. He begins drinking with Goldberg but hits him with a STUNNER CAUSE HE AIN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE SPEAR FROM 4 WEEKS AGO! FUCK YEAH!

RIP Brock's first run. It was one of a kind.

Vince McMahon comes out on to the stage, he thanks the people for giving him his out money. This must be unplanned and Vince felt he had to do something after that abortion of a match.

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team vs. The APA vs. The Bashams vs. Rikishi & Scotty II Hotty
6 Filler minutes of nonsense, WGTT do what they can but it's a mess, they do the exact same formula as the RAW match. As all 3 of the other teams have a 1 minute and a half heat segment on Scotty. Rikishi's hot tag is hot mess. The match breaks down, Bradshaw has the only highlight and that's killing the Bashams with clotheslines from hell, he gets taken out and Rikishi hits the bonzi drop on Doug for the win. *

EDGE IS COMING!

Jesse "The Body" Ventura comes out, he looks for someone to interview and finds.....................Donald Trump. Yeah no, i'm not watching this. NEXT!

Champion vs. Hair Match: Molly Holly vs. Victoria
This is like 6 or 7 minutes, the crowd is pretty burnt out by all the fuckery since Evolution/RockSock so they don't give a shit, tbf it's not like this was gonna be a show stealer anyway. Nothing gets a response, we get the standard try to get the babyface to make a comeback claps but after that, it's mostly just dead air. Molly tries to work the neck but Victoria no sells it before making her comeback. She counters out of Molly's widow's peak attempt into a backslide and Victoria wins. Molly tries to bail, but they fight to the stage. Molly is shaved bald. *1/2

WWE Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guererro
This is weirdly booked, you would think with the amazing feud that saw Kurt beat the shit out of Eddie 2 of the 4 weeks and call him a drug addict this would be hate-filled like Jericho/Christian started off with but it wasn't that. They have this really, really good mat exchange it's intense and everything looks great but it's not what i wanted. It just feels weird. Only positive was the story of Eddie the "Drug Addict" getting the better of Kurt the Olympic Gold Medalist on the mat which pisses him off. After about 7 minutes or so, Eddie heads up top and goes for a crossbody but Kurt moves and Eddie crashes into the barricades. Kurt begins working it and it's really good, Eddie sells it tremendously. They do this awesome spot with Eddie shoving Kurt off the top rope and Eddie tries the frog splash but at the very last second Kurt moves and Eddie crashes and burns to the mat. They both abandon the mid-section work and just begin slugging it out, Eddie has a nice comeback but like i said he forgets about the ribs. This is also a Kurt formula match so it's German counter, Belly-to-belly counter, counter the angle slam, counter the ankle lock everything gets countered 2 or 3 times. Eddie hits this dope spike DDT and hits the Frog Splash but Kurt kicks out 2 but it looks like 3. Kurt plays dead and as Eddie is picking him up he grabs the ankle and applies the ankle lock but Eddie rolls through sending Kurt to the floor. Eddie begins loosening up the boot. Kurt comes back and again locks in the ankle lock but Eddie kicks off the boot to shock Kurt, as Kurt comes rushing in Eddie cradles him for the win. Cool finish. I guess, but it should have been hate-filled brawling more than great wrestling. But Kurt had to have his shitty formula. 2004 is back to 2-3 in AMAZING FEUDS WITH TRASH PAYOFF MATCHES. **3/4

EDDIE'S ANKLE IS FINE!!!!!!

Paul Bearer's "OHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" before Taker makes his entrance still gives me goosebumps.

KANE vs. The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer)
Okay so right off the bat i think Taker's entrance is almost the same length as the match 7 minutes, but that's not even the highlight. Highlight is Kane blinking in hopes that Taker and his Paps would disappear is great. He also still doesn't believe so he does the horror movie move closer and when he touches taker, taker punches the shit out of him. It's all downhill from here though. This is basically a Taker showcase, granted Kane does some things but it's mostly Taker who looks super sloppy and slow. The match ends when Kane hits the chokeslam but as he celebrating Taker sits up, the fight some more until Taker hits the tombstone for the win. NEXT YEAR! THE STREAK BEGINS TO MATTER! Kindof, i think. *1/2

​

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H
Oh man, TripsGOD is wearing his good guy white boots. I really gotta find a way into the WWE warehouse or attire museum so i can steal them and wear them even though we ain't the same foot size. This starts as all WWE triple threats go, 2 in one out, i do like they have a couple of spots with all 3 but its mostly "accidentally" teaming up which results in the 3rd man bumping to the floor. Shawn/Hunter is really good cause it's not filler, Benoit/Hunter rules cause they have chemistry. Benoit/Shawn just beat the hell out of one another so that was fun. Triple H does a good job in integrating all 3 men into stuff e.g. hanging Benoit upside down and sending Shawn into him midsection first, he goes for it again but Shawn counters and Benoit gets a bootup. I like that this has constant action it's one of the few benefits of 3-ways, Shawn hits Hunter with a superkick but Benoit pulls Hunter out during the count. Benoit and Shawn get in and do so stuff, Shawn gets busted open after Benoit catapults him into the ringpost. He then locks in the Crippler crossface but Triple H stops Shawns' hand from tapping. Hunter and Shawn team up as they took out Benoit with a Double Suplex through the announce table. Shawn and Hunter do their usual fight sequence with Shawn throwing Hunter into the ring post and now Hunter is bleeding. Jesus both men are bleeding a ton, Hunter hits the pedigree but is too beaten up to make the cover right away so it takes him about 20 seconds before covering. That allows Benoit to just will himself and throw himself to break up the pin. Benoit locks in the Sharpshooter and it finally looks like the crowd is 97% in Benoit's favor now instead of 70% to Benoit 21% to Shawn. Anyway, Shawn breaks it up by nailing Benoit with a superkick, he goes to tune up again but Benoit counters and drops Shawn to the floor. That allows Benoit to recover and he goes for the pedigree but Benoit counters into the crossface. AWESOME FALSE HOPE SPOT AS HUNTER TRIES TO ROLL OUT BUT BENOIT KEEPS THE HOLD AND BEFORE SHAWN CAN GET UP TRIPLE H TAPS! AMAZING! I don't give a shit this match still holds up as the best 3way match in WWE history, and you know what goes under the radar JR losing his voice calling Benoit win. Just go back and watch his voice is cracking. It's a thing of beauty. ****1/2

Oh and this happens, but it doesn't really happen.

​

Overall: God awful PPV outside the 3 Way, Christian/Jericho, And the Handicap match. Def in my top 5 of WOAT Mania's

 

[Chris]

I was gonna disagree with it being top 5 WOAT but then I couldn't name 5 'Manias that were worse off the top of my head

 

[Deezy]

Tainted memories.

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Benoit
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Booker T & Rob Van Dam
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

WWE Monday Night RAW
March 15th, 2004
East Rutherford, New Jersey

Triple H comes down to the ring, he has his arm in a sling and seems pretty pissed off. They chant "You tapped out" & "Benoit" for a good 50 seconds straight before Hunter says you think one match makes someone the best? and putting a belt around your waist one time makes you the best? he says wrong what makes you the best is coming out day by day and beating them all every single night. And he's done that, he agrees he tapped out. But it took 2 men to beat him, and whether you like it or not, Benoit you haven't beaten me or won. He says the target is on Benoit's chest and in due time the sling will come off. And when it does it will be one-on-one. Chris Benoit comes out, Who looks so right with the big gold belt Benoit says he was listening to him pissing and moaning, he says last night he beat him and Shawn to become the best. Benoit says when his arm gets better and when he's man enough to step into the ring with him, he welcomes it so he can make him tap. Hunter says not on his best damn day, Benoit says today isn't his best damn day and punches Hunter in the face. He begins putting the boots to Hunter's injured arm which brings out Evolution. They begin surrounding the ring, but before they can enter the ring Shawn Michaels with a chair runs out to even the odds. Eric Bischoff comes out onto the stage and says Vince says he has a huge announcement for tonight, Eric then makes Batista, Orton, Flair vs. Michaels & Benoit in the main event

Backstage: Coach asks Shawn why he saved Benoit, Shawn says to protect his investment. A healthy Benoit means he will get a title match as he's already beaten him. And he will do the same in their handicap match.

Victoria & Lita vs. Jazz & Molly Holly (w/Theodore R. Long)
Molly pulls a Kurt and comes out with a blonde wig with chinstraps. She goes right to attacking Victoria and gives the heels the advantage, Jazz has some pretty dope looking forearm crossfaces to Victoria who returns the favor by kneeing Jazz in the head while going for a moonsault. Lita's hot tag is pretty sloppy as usual. Molly knees Lita in the back so she pulls her wig off, Molly then bails to the back and Lita hits a DDT for the win. *1/2 - *3/4

Tonight: Jackie vs. Stacy and Dudleyz vs. Booker/RVD for the titles and the 3on2 Handicap Main Event.

Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross talk about what happen between Jericho/Christian/Lita from Mania.

Backstage: Todd Grisham tries to interview Jericho, but Jericho is too angry to talk so he stares a hole through him and walks off.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho
mattitude.com; Matt is ridiculously underrated. Really fun angle match, Jericho doesn't do his normal entrance as he just marches down to the ring. He proceeds to beat the hell of Matt. JR says Christian and Trish have taken the night off. Kings says they went to viagra falls lmao Matt says imma slap you like Trish and does so Jericho snaps and begins choking Matt with the camera cord cables for DQ. **1/4

During the break, Jericho in his ring gear took his bags and left.

Backstage: Randy Orton says last night he proved he is better than Foley. But he doesn't believe his family thinks so, so he challenges Foley to a one-on-one match with Evolution banned from ringside. He says he's gonna beat him so bad that his little son will start idolizing him instead of his own father.

Backstage: Sylvan is back with La Resistance, and Rene introduces their newest member...FIFI THE DOG!!!!!! AUSTIN THEN COMES OVER. He calls them French bastards and is upset that Fifi is crapping all over the floor. Austin the writes him up a ticket and calls him a French Bitch. Rene says they will not stand for this and leaves.

Val Venis is in the ring with some random thot. He gets her to take his towel off. BUT KANE'S MUSIC HITS!

Val Venis vs. KANE
SQUASH!

the old school wwe.com website plug

Backlash - Sunday, March 18th in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Miss Jackie vs. Stacy Keibler
Jackie shoves Stacy to the floor as she tries to do her through the ropes entrance, so fuck her. They do stuff for all of 1 minute before Vince McMahon comes out and the match just ends.

Vince says he has something on his mind, he says things need to change around here. IT'S TIME TO SHAKE THINGS UP! He says the GMs have become complacent and protective of certain talent and groups on their shows. It's time for Raw talent to go to Smackdown, and Smackdown talent to go to RAW. So next week, we're gonna have the FIRST EVER DRAFT LOTTERY~! NO ONE IS SAFE.

JR and King talk about this and King asks what about the Dudleyz, REALLY MOTHERFUCKER SO WE JUST GONNA FORGET ABOUT THE FIRST DRAFT?

Backstage: Evolution storm into Eric's office wanting answers, Hunter says as god as his witness he is not leaving the show without the World Title. Eric says you heard Vince, everyone is up for grabs including Evolution.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: The Dudley Boyz vs. Booker T & Rob Van Dam
This gets 15 fucking minutes, and i know i'm the guy that likes and wants longer matches but this isn't the match to do it. Bubba's fat ass can barely get down during a Booker leapfrog attempt so he goes headfirst into Booker's dick. Luckily he manages to catch himself and just throws Booker to the mat. The opening 5 minutes or so is pretty boring, they play off the story that the champs are relatively new at teaming and have run into an All-time great tag team that has seen it all so everything Booker or RVD try get's countered. Dudleyz half ass work heel. It's crazy but the crowd is literally dead for the whole match, it's like today's crowd which crazy considering the talent involved and where RAW is. The Dudleyz hit 3D but RVD breaks it up, Booker tags in RVD who doesn't have a hot tag instead he goes right to cover D-Von, then 10 seconds later D-Von kills him with a neck breaker off the middle rope as we go to commercial. Dudleyz now iso RVD and it's pretty average outside Bubba yelling out "WHO YOU GONNA TAG MOTHERFUCKER!" after knocking Booker off the apron. Dudleyz work on the neck far too long, Booker's has a fun hot tag as the match breaks down. He hits a side kick to Bubba for two and hits the scissors kick followed by RVD hitting the Frog Splash but D-Von breaks up the count. Booker and Bubba go back and forth for a bit until Booker bails the Bookend for the win. ** - **1/4

WrestleMania XX Tribute Video.

Spike Dudley comes out but is ATTACKS BY CHRISTIAN ON THE RAMP! He has Trish with him who kicks Spike in the head with the Trish Kick. Christian then kills Spike with an unpreitter onto the floor.

Christian says spike was just in the wrong place, he tells the crowd to hush so Trish can talk. "SLUT" chants happen, Trish says don't forget Jericho was the one who made the best to sleep with her for $1 Canadian. She says it's ironic that Jericho spent all this time trying to screw her when she ended up screwing him. And someone else. CHRISTIAN! Christian says he was hoping for some respect around in a place that birthed millions of creepy little bastards. New Jersey. He says he's no CLB because he got the girl, he says he tried to warn Jericho but he got soft. He says she wanted someone rough and dirty, not a lovesick puppy following her around, and she likes it rough. Trish says he can't get no Stratusfaction, and they make out. CLB DA GAWD!

Backstage: La Resistance are upset at the thought of being split up, Rene says Austin disrespected their culture, country and them so he's gonna go to that ring and call out Austin. Sylvan says if he needs any help they will be back here with FiFi.

Rene Dupree comes down to the ring, he says the French are not cowards or sissies, it's the exact opposite. He calls American's stupid and begins speaking French. Stone Cold comes out driving his ATV. He quickly enters the ring, beats down Rene and hits him with a stunner before drinking beer and driving off.

Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Evolution (Batista, Ric Flair & Randy Orton (w/Triple H)
No shocker this is great, Batista and Shawn start, Batista is slowly turning into his amazing heel powerhouse. I liked that Shawn is so worn down from last night that he couldn't do anything which allows Batista to beat the shit out of him, it had to take Flair to come in for Shawn to get some offense in. Benoit/Flair ruled again. As does Orton/Benoit which i'm so fuckin hyped for. Orton hits his sick backbreaker as Foley arrives in the parking lot, they show it on the tron which has Orton distracted. That allows Shawn to shove him into the ref taking him out. The match breaks down and Foley runs down, he and Orton brawl through the crowd and to the back leaving it 2on2. Shawn does his usual finish to the match but as he tunes up the band, Hunter rips off the sling and hits Shawn with a pedigree. Earl Hebner runs down but so much time has passed that Shawn kicks out at two, Evolution begins iso'ing Shawn and again the Batista/Shawn portion rules with Batista just killing him with power moves, and just great cut off spots. AWESOMELY! Flair drops his knee to where Shawn was busted open last night and re-opens the cut. Flair begins working it and even biting it cause he's the GOAT. Shawn hits a desperation clothesline and hot tags, Benoit, in, who cleans house. He hits the triple Germans on Batista and hits the diving headbutt for two. Flair has the ref distracted so Hunter tries to pedigree Benoit, but Shawn breaks it up with a Superkick. Benoit then locks in the sharpshooter to Batista as Shawn now superkicks Flair as Batista taps out. ***1/4

Dope shit. RAW 2004 has guaranteed one *** or + match a week on it.

 

[Chris]

Just wait til Edge gets drafted and comes back from injury Vince really gave no fucks about Smackdown at this point, taking Benoit and Edge away

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: Eddie Guererro
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Scotty II Hotty & Rikishi
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guererro Jr.

WWE Smackdown
March 18th, 2004
FleetCenter: Boston, Massachusetts

John Cena comes out rocking Celtic green, he gives us barz on how this is his home and these are his people. He says at Mania Show didn't think he was a fighter, he put him on that FU diet that made him 10pounds lighter. He says he brings championships home like Tom Brady. He then calls Cole gay OUTTA NOWHERE! Paul Heyman comes out, instead of Cena's opponent. Heyman says the rumors are true Brock Lesnar is no longer with Paul Heyman's Smackdown and has left WWE He says that could be good news for Cena and says this could be Cena's chance to be the new face of Smackdown. He brings up the Draft too, hoping Cena goes to Raw and off of Paul Heyman's Smackdown. He brings up the locker room abandoning him last week and says anyone left on SD after the draft will feel his wrath, Heyman says he's stressed out and wants everyone on this show gone. He slaps Cena and yells at him. He goes to slap him again but Cena punches him down. Rhyno comes down and the bell rings.

WWE United States Championship: John Cena vs. Rhyno
This is their usual match, lots of shitty Rhyno offense, Cena is starting to sell less and less by the weeks Cena has a decent comeback before hitting the FU for the win. *3/4

EDGE IS COMING!

Backstage: Heyman is stressed out when the APA come up laughing at him, Faarooq says its too bad at what happened to him. Heyman say's he didn't like that they lied to him, last week. So tonight in their tag titles match tonight if they don't win "Faarooq" is FIRED!

WWE Tag Team Championships: Rikishi & The APA vs. The APA
Shockingly this is a good time, Rikishi/Bradshaw have a good sequence for 30 seconds before the APA take turns beating up Scotty. They basically beat him up, then give him false hope of going to tag Rikishi just to be dicks by pulling him back. Rikishi gas a decent hot tag, the match breaks down. Scotty goes to hit the worm but Faarooq takes him out, that leads to Rikishi superkicking Bradshaw for the win. **

Backstage: The APA go into Heyman's office, Bradshaw demands Heyman tell it to their face. Heyman says they didn't listen to him. He isn't firing the APA he's firing Faarooq. He tells Bradshaw he thinks highly of him, he's a respected financial analyst with a successful book who's also on Fox News. He asks how much longer was going to keep carrying this baggage? Faarooq says to forget this and says let's go, but Bradshaw stops to think. Faarooq says WELL I'LL BE DAMNED and walks off. IT'S HAPPENING

Recap of Vince's promo from RAW.

Backstage: WGTT, Gunn, and Rey are with Heyman. Heyman says tonight they will play a game of divide and conquer. He says SD is changing and what happens, happens, but tonight he has all the power. He says they'll be among those in a Gauntlet Match tonight. He says the winner of this will get a WWE Title match tonight too. Shelton says there's no dividing he and Charlie since they're the World's Greatest Tag Team. As a response, he says Shelton and Haas will start against each other.

#1 Contender's Gauntlet Match for the WWE Championship
Shelton vs. Charlie is up first, they have a really good 5-minute portion of tag team one-upmanship on the mat. Haas tries to target the arm, while Shelton goes after the head. Shelton keeps getting the best of it and keeps rubbing it in, the crowd begin shitting on it because Boston can be awful 90% of the time. Haas begins getting frustrated which forces him to be more aggressive, he hits a sneaky back elbow and begins taking over. He gets a series of near falls off a German and backbreaker but Shelton busts out the dragon whip kick for the win.

Backstage: Faarooq is leaving when Bradshaw runs up. He says he has too much to lose, just because he said something stupid. Faarooq just walks off and Bradshaw yells can we at least still be friends.

Billy Gunn is out next, WHY? WHY THE FUCK IS HE GETTING THESE BIG MATCHES? HE FUKCING SUCKS THE PAST IS THE PAST THIS ISN'T 1998 OR 1999 FUCK OFF ALREADY! Shelton does his best to carry him but Gunn is just god awful. But what's even more awful is the crowd trying to start a "USA" chant fuckin' blueberries. Shelton keeps wearing down Gunn with necks holds which get no sold, he drops Shelton on his chin and makes a shitty comeback. Thankfully Shelton rolls him up and grabs the ropes for the win.

The Big show comes out, he says the US title is missing because Cena stole it. He calls Cena a Boston punk. Show says he and Heyman walked things out and now he's in the Gauntlet match, but he's not next. HE'S THE FINAL COMPETITOR!

WrestleMania 21 ~ LOS ANGELES

Rey Mysterio is out now, he and Shelton have a great 5-minute run. It's clearly the best matchup so far. Rey tries to quicken the pace with lots of athleticism and moves but Shelton can finally use his weight and strength advantage. His submissions also look a lot more vicious against the smaller man. Shelton targets the arm and it's really good, Rey's selling is pretty MEH! He hits the 619 and drops the dime for the win. Rey then begins selling the arm after the match. SMH!

2004 Hall of Fame video tribute airs.

Show/Rey have their usual fun four-minute spring, Show throws him around and Rey taking some great bumps. Cena comes out and begins taunting Show with the US title, Show comes out onto the floor. He is so distracted which allows Rey to hit a 619 to the floor then behind the refs back Cena nails Show with the title to the back sending Show into the ringpost. Show is then counted out. LEL. So that whole match including all the commercials, video packages, and backstage shit is a grand total of 31-32 minutes. ***

WWE Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guererro
This gets 15 minutes and it FUCKING RULES! Oh my god, i forgot about this. Rey finally starts really selling the arm during the opening minutes as they Lucha it up. Eddie is fuckin on here, maybe because he has someone who isn't a fuck up or washed up. So, he can finally lead the match instead of the other guy thinking he can lead the 2nd beat wrestler in the company at this point. Eddie's arm work is great, like really fucking brutal and great. It's one of the few times is really like Rey yelling "Owwww" and "Ahhhhh" as part of selling. But it 2004 Rey on the backside of his career so he half ass sells, he totally doesn't give a shit when it's time for him to get his shit in tho. Eddie keeps going back to it in brutal fashion including a nasty hammerlock but he's lifting Rey onto his back literally carrying him. And a key lock with a fucking bridge <3 Eddie is the greatest, I love that they start playing up Eddie becoming frustrated and begins showing his anger out. FORESIGHT! Rey has a nice comeback, but Eddie cuts him off with the three amigos, but during the third Rey counters into a roll through but Eddie kicks out sending Rey into the turnbuckle shoulder first. Eddie hits another suplex but misses the Frog Splash, that allows Rey to hit 619. But it's Rey this time who misses the leg drop and Eddie uses a flashy roll-up for the win. ****

Paul Heyman comes out, he says he hopes to god they get drafted to RAW. Matter of fact he hopes they get deported. He says he's the only person guaranteed to still be here next week. And there isn't a man alive that will stand in his way...................................THE LIGHTS GO OUT AND THE GONG! HITS THE UNDERTAKER AND PAUL BEARER COME OUT! Heyman backs off into the ring with Eddie and Rey when the lights come on they shove Heyman into Taker who tombstones him to end the show.

 

[Deezy]

Kurt was already washed up????

 

[Crippler]

that or the drugs are really starting to kick in.

 

[Crippler]

RAW
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Benoit
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Booker T & Rob Van Dam
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

Smackdown
WWE Champion: Eddie Guererro
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Scotty II Hotty & Rikishi
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guererro Jr.

WWE Monday Night RAW: THE DRAFT!
March 22nd, 2004
Joe Louis Arena: Detroit, Michigan

Backstage: The RAW superstars are sitting in the RAW locker room wearing RAW t-shirts, while the Smackdown superstars are sitting in the Smackdown locker room with Smackdown t-shirt. FUCKING Rey and Kurt are sitting right next to one another have a friendly convo. HE JUST TURNED ON YOUR BEST FRIEND? HE EVEN POWERBOMBED YOU! FUCK

Backstage: Paul Heyman in a neck brace is with Eric, Vince comes over and gives them a little speech on the rules. He says they'll each get 12 picks and they can trade from there until the end of the night. Eric asks if champions are exempt and Vince says NO!

Michael Cole and Taz also at ringside.

Eric Bischoff & Paul Heyman come out onto the stage, Heyman says on Smackdown he was assaulted by The Undertaker and instead of going to the higher powers he will deal with the Undertaker in his own personal way. Heyman pulls his ball out of the tumbler and it is..............................Rene Dupree. Rene comes out, he first takes a picture with Heyman like this is a real sports draft Rene then comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he tells the fans to shut up. He says he would rather die in hell than have his last moment in a RAW ring being stunned by Austin. He then demands a match. He challenges any RAW wrestler in the back to face the FRENCH PHENOM!

Rene Dupree vs. Chris Jericho
Another real fun pissed off Jericho babyface showing, Rene slaps Jericho but this time Jericho manages to keep his composure. He hits a step up Enzuigui for the win. **1/4

After the match; Rene is slow to get up, but before he leaves he grabs the mic and yells at the crowd demanding RESPECT! But Austin comes out and hits him with a stunner. Austin then drinks beer and leaves.

Rico and Miss Jackie are in the ring, as Bischoff & Heyman come back out. Eric pulls SHELTON BENJAMIN'S name out of the tumbler.

RIP WGTT RIP Tag Teams

Rico (w/Miss Jackie) vs. KANE
SQUASH!

Kane walks up the ramp but stops, he tells Eric and Paul he doesn't care what show he is on. But he better not be on the same show as the Undertaker.

Heyman pulls another name from the tumbler he trolls and says JR will no longer be able to call this superstar a blue chipper because Smackdown drafts Mark Jindrak lmaolmao

Tonight: Booker/RVD vs. Flair/Batista - Tag Team Titles.

Back on the stage, Eric drafts Nidia. She comes out on the stage looking might busty. JR claims she will now have a chance to get in the ring and wrestle a whole bunch more LOL. before leaving. Paul says he hopes she goes blind again, as, Paul goes to draft nex but interrupted by John Cena. Cena cuts a RAP on how both men blow and want him. He starts that DEEZ NUTS Line. He pulls a ball out of the SD tumbler. He says he's taking the pick, Paul's got one ball, but he's still got no "DICK" Paul says that's not real, but Eric yells that it counts and he has to use it. He walks over and yells at Paul to read it. Paul looks at it and starts smiling, and says that since Eric insisted.......SMACKDOWN IS PLEASED TO WELCOME TRIPLE H.

During the break, the entire locker room begins singing "NA NA NA NA" to Hunter

Christian (w/Trish Stratus) vs. Little Spike Dudley
So this is great, Spike shows tons of hate and fire early on going after Christian, but he gets distracted with Trish which allows Christian to front suplex him onto the top rope. Trish is looking AMAZING on the floor but also does a great job of cheating on the floor behind the refs back. Christian is his usual underrated self, great bumping and being aggressive, cocky, prick on offense. Christian sends Spike shoulder first into the ringpost and hits the unprittier for the win. **1/2

Eric is too heartbroken about losing Triple H so he storms off and finds Mr. McMahon he says it was an invalid pick. Vince says it's been picked and counted, and Heyman comes up. He books a WWE Title match tonight between Eddie Guerrero and Triple H. Bischoff protests, saying it's Raw right now, and an SD title shouldn't be on the line, but Vince allows it.

Bischoff & Heyman come back onto the stage. Eric says he won't be upstaged, so whoever he picks next, no matter who will face World Champion Chris Benoit tonight for the title. Eric draws a name, and it's...oh. It's Rhyno LOOOOOOOOOL Rhyno celebrates like he just won the title and gets in Cena's face yelling "YOU SEE ME NOW CENA" AWESOME.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Booker T & Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair & Batista
Better than their first match, as Flair is still riding high off the mania match and last week so he's pretty on, Batista has gotten so much better and Booker is still Booker. RVD doesn't completely suck so it's kinda a win for him. Evolution iso Booker and it's good, it's mostly Flair doing the best of hits offense, chops, knee drops, choking and punches but it still rules. A weird spot has RVD just randomly hit a Five Star on Flair even though he isn't the legal and, he goes for the cover and the ref starts the count but Batista comes in and RVD just simple rolls out of the ring as we go to a commercial. When we return, Evolution continues to work on Booker but he hits a side kick allowing RVD to get the hot tag. The match breaks down and Flair chop blocks RVD's knee. He begins working it and immediately locks in the figure four but RVD gets to the ropes to break it up. RVD sell of the knee is shockingly good like it's the first time maybe since 2001 I've seen him sell longer than 20 seconds and even after the work is done. Booker has his usual fun hot tag, he begins cleaning house until Batista throws Booker in the path of a flying sidekick from RVD, and Booker gets hit with the Batista Bomb, allowing Batista to cover him for the win. **1/2

Bischoff & Heyman are back on the stage, Heyman's next draft pick is............................MR THURSDAY NIGHT! ROB VAN DAM!

Backstage: RVD and Booker are talking about their rematch when Coach comes over and says NO REMATCH! Cause RVD is now on Smackdown. Booker looks confused.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
This is the usual Benoit carrying against Rhyno, he makes Rhyno look the best as he dies off power moves and sells like he's in so much pain. This is pretty short though I think at 4 or 5 minutes. Benoit avoids the GORE and locks in the Crippler Crossface for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Shawn Michaels goes up to Bischoff he says as much as he wants a shot at Benoit he wants Hunter more, trade him to Smackdown. He says NO! But he will be behind Shawn 100% Eric makes the match at Backlash the main event will be Michaels vs. Benoit for the World Title. Shawn seems happy and says there's no better way to get back at Triple H than to win the title he holds closet to him.

Bischoff & Heyman are back out, Eric drafts Tajiri Heyman then drafts THEODORE R. LONG! Eric then drafts.......................EDGE! Heyman is pissed and says he's on IR!?!?!?! Paul talks up his last pick...and it's Spike Dudley. Paul is upset, and Eric's final pick................................................................PAUL "MOTHERFUCKIN" HEYMAN

The entire Smackdown locker room is happy except Big Show, Eric tries to make Heyman is personal bitch saying he's gonna have Heyman wash his car and shit like that. Heyman says he's unwilling to work for a piece of slime like him. So, Heyman quits. Eric then comes down to the ring, he gloats about outlasting two Smackdown GM's, stood up to Austin and says HE IS BACK IN A DMAN BIG WAY! Edge comes out but no longer has the Rob Zombie entrance theme so fuck him. He immediately Spears Bischoff and poses over him.

During the break, Heyman leaves the building.

WWE Championship: Triple H vs. Eddie Guerrero
FUCK YEAH! TripsGOD is growing out his joining handlebar beard. This goes about 8 or 9 minutes, it's a total nothing match it feels like both men are just going through the motions and waiting for the fuckery. I did like that Eddie targets the previously injured arm of Hunter, it's not as amazing as the work he did against Rey on Smackdown or anything. Triple H's selling, as we go to a commercial, is good, but when we return he kinda stretches it out before forgetting about it and focuses on Eddie back. Eddie does his usual great selling and Hunter does basically the same back work he's been doing to Shawn for the past two years. Thankfully Eddie isn't Shawn and isn't overdoing it. Eddie's comeback is fine, sadly he himself just stops selling. They go back and forth hitting moves and countering the other, Eddie hits the three amigos but Batista and Flair come out, that distracts Eddie long enough for Hunter to recover and hit a DDT. Pretty hilarious that commentary randomly cuts to JR and King instead of Cole and Taz who have been calling the whole match FUCKIN SHOVEL LOL Cena and Rey come down to even the odds. The ref is distracted with that which allows Shawn to run down and Superkick Triple H before diving onto the bodies. Eddie then heads up top but Christian runs down and attacks Eddie for a DQ. **3/4

The show closes with one of those garbage Raw vs. Smackdown brawls. How original.

RESULTS!

RAW
Shelton Benjamin
Nidia
Rhyno
Tajiri
EDGE
Paul Heyman QUIT

Smackdown
Rene Dupree
Mark Jindrak
Triple H
Rob Van Dam
Theodore Long
Spike Dudley

 

[Deezy]

Rey was obviously riding the fence on Rey/Eddie and didn't want to lose friends

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: Eddie Guererro
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Scotty II Hotty & Rikishi
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guererro Jr.

WWE Smackdown
March 25th, 2004
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Recap of the Shake-up draft from RAW.

Triple H's music hits but Kurt Angle comes out instead. He says he knows everyone was expecting Triple H but first, who will be the new GM of Smackdown. He says Heyman leaving left a void, he says the NEW GM is here. He has class and has the last name significant with wrestling. This person isn't in this for fame or money and is willing to give up his personal goals for the greater good.......................................................................................ME! KURT ANGLE! FUCK YEAH! OH, IT'S TRUE! Kurt says he has put his wrestling goals on hold for all you people. He says he believes he can make a difference and will fight for what he believes in. Kurt says he will not be intimidated by anyone and when Triple H demanded a rematch, I looked into his eyes and said NO! Triple H will not be facing Eddie for the title, and he won't be on Smackdown anymore. Kurt says in his first act as GM he traded Triple H back to RAW for The Dudley Boyz and Booker T. Booker comes out and says he wish he could come out and say how excited he is to be here but he's not. Booker says the last 72 hours his life has been turned upside down. He says he liked wrestling on RAW cause the RAW fans appreciated him. And no disrespect to Kurt, Smackdown is the minor leagues. He says the locker room in the back is full of talent but he's better than all of them. Eddie, Cena, Show, Undertaker. Booker says he doesn't want to be here. Kurt says he agrees he is a bigger star than everyone in the back and the Smackdown fans don't appreciate great talent. Kurt says if Booker sticks to his guns he will become the hottest and most dominate superstar on Smackdown.

WWE WrestleMania Revenge Tour in the UK

Rob Van Dam vs. Charlie Haas
Jesus Christ RVD is still wearing that fuckin' god awful throw some shit colors on a ring attire and call it a day. This is one of those "Introduction to a new show showcase" Like the fans that watch Smackdown don't watch RAW. IT ISN'T AN ACTUAL BRAND FEUD. RVD goes all his usual moves and shit as well as pretending he's good enough to exchange mat holds with Haas, spoiler he's not and his transitions still look rough. RVD tries to go to the air, but Charlie shoves him off and sends him crashing to the barricades. RVD apparently re-hurts his knee that was worked on from RAW so Charlie works on it. Charlie applies this terrible looking half Boston crab that instead of sitting on his back pulling the leg Charlie has RVD's knee in between his leg and just stands up. I guess RVD is back to fuck selling mode as he doesn't as he begins his comeback. Charlie tries to use the ropes but the ref stops him, that allows RVD to small package cradle him for the win. **1/2

Billy Kidman vs. Rene Dupree (w/FiFi)
Another one of those first look draft picks showcase matches. UGH! I guess that's the theme of tonights show. Rene still sucks outside of the French Tickler dance which Taz has a field day with. This is pretty shit, Rene wins hitting a shitty looking over the shoulder Michinoku Driver for the win. After the Match; John Cena comes out, he welcomes him to Smackdown. He points out Taz is a THUG! and Cole is GAY! He says don't leave your watch or wallet anywhere near Eddie Guererro, but most important don't go near a bathroom after Show and Rikishi. He says the fans what none of Rene it's because France sucks but he has something he can suck on something..............DEEEZ NUTS!

Backstage: Josh Mathews asks Rikishi and Scotty about Heyman leaving and Kurt becoming the new GM. Mr. Long comes over and says they're good but not great yet and hands them his cards. HOLLA AT YOUR BOY!

Backstage: Eddie walks into the Babyface locker room, he hugs RVD, Rey, OJ, Funaki, Spike he begins talking to Booker but Book won't respond to him. He says RAW has better competition, he calls Eddie a minor league champion. Eddie is pissed and says did he really insult every wrestler that has held this title prior to him? Booker says to consider himself insulted, SUCKA. Eddie attacks him, and the locker room holds them apart, with RVD trying to calm it down.

The Dudley Boyz vs. The Basham Brothers
OH! KILL ME NOW! Same deal as the other ones. Bashams now have actual gear granted it's just black tights with some shitty logos on the side. But it's way better than the leather pants. Dudleyz hit the 3D for the win.

Backstage: Booker barges into Kurt office and asks what he's gonna do about Eddie jumping him BRAH! Kurt says Eddie may not respect him, but he will. Kurt brings up Eddie's grueling schedule in the last 2 weeks. Kurt then makes the match, Booker vs. Eddie for the WWE Championship.

The Dudleyz remain at ringside to watch on.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Chavo Guererro Jr. (w/Chavo Guererro Sr.) vs, Spike Dudley
Oh man, it must have been a network edit as Chavo is back to his old theme and not "OOOOOOHHHHHHH Chavo" again same deal, this might be the most offense Spike has had during his WWE run so far. He goes for the Dudley Dog about a minute in but Chavo throws him to the floor. they do some things, really good near falls until Chavo hits a sit down backbreaker for the win. **1/2

APA Breaking up airs.

Bradshaw comes out to a new song, wearing a suit and a big cowboy hat. Tony Chimel announces him at JOHN "BRADSHAW" LAYFIELD! JBL says last week he was horribly misunderstood, he says he did the right thing. He says he and Faarooq have had years of drinking and being on the road. But when he saw Heyman quit, he knew he could use that to get Faarooq his job back. BUT IM NOT GONNA DO THAT! He says he's got a lot more than wrestling going on, he's got a portfolio that's beat the stock market 7 out of the last 7 years. A book out and is currently writing another on how to save America. A radio show about politics and finances. He says FOX news loves him, so he can't walk away. He says everyone in the crowd would do the exact same thing. It's time you start listening to people like him, RICH PEOPLE! He says he has always been smarter, and a hard worker. CAUSE HE'S RICH! He says the drinking, the good times and just being fun is over. It's time to man an impact. Business is about to pick up. IT'S HAPPENING

Backstage: Booker is walking around, he bumps into shitty talent like Gunn, OJ, and Hardcore Holly. Holly gives him the "oh we don't like you and we don't want you here" speech.

WWE Championship: Booker T vs. Eddie Guererro
This gets a shit load of time and is really good, good feeling out process to start but it's not the usual neither man wants to give their hand away instead it's feeling one another out with strikes and holds. Lots of good back and forth, I like that all of the strikes are not completely clean so it looks like both guys have legit tension. Booker manages to get control of the match when he drops Eddie mid-section first onto the top rope. Then during the break, Booker does the same but does it onto the floor onto the ringside barricade. Booker doesn't really work it, it's weird most of his offense is targeted to Eddie's back but then he would do a submission to the head and neck area. Eddie selling a sleeper like this is the 80's was great, he then has this equally great comeback just to get cut off Eddie with a Bookend for two. Again Booker damn near takes Eddie's head off with a side-kick for two. He goes for the scissors kick but misses which allows Eddie to hit the three amigos. Eddie then heads up top and nails the Frog Splash but JBL runs out and attacks Eddie for the DQ. After the match; JBL nails the clothesline from hell and throws up the TEXAS HORNS. LONGHORNS! ***

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Benoit
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Batista & Ric Flair
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

WWE Monday Night RAW
March 29th, 2004
Cincinnati, Ohio

Recap of the Draft Lottery and what happened on Smackdown with Triple H being drafted back.

Tonight: Michaels/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista - Tag Team Titles & Highlight Reel featuring Trish.

Randy Orton, Ric Flair, and Batista of Evolution come out. Flair says Batista and him are thrilled to be able to defend their tag titles against Benoit and Michaels here tonight, they are also thrilled to know that Triple H is back on RAW. He says he will be the first to tell everyone how disappointed he was when he got drafted away but he will be back later on tonight to deal with the locker room. Flair says he's tired of the lack of respect for Orton. He's tired of the LACK OF RESPECT TOWARDS RANDY ORTON! He says he beat Foley twice. And did it at WrestleMania. Orton says to bare with him as he had his tonsils taken out last week, but the fact that he's out here a week later proves he has the guts, unlike Mick Foley. He calls Foley a coward, but Foley comes out. He says Orton proved himself at Mania. He proved he can beat a Hollywood actor and a guy that writes children's books in a 3-on-2 situation. Foley says had it been a one-on-one he would have kicked his little ass all over New York. Flair yells that two weeks ago, Orton challenged him at Backlash, and he didn't accept. Foley challenges him to have Evolution banned from ringside and to put up the IC Title, Flair accepts on Orton behalf. Foley says to make it No DQ, Falls Count Anywhere, Orton hesitates, but Flair accepts but Foley says he wants Orton to say it. ORTON ACCEPTS! Foley says he has three weeks to get about three times tougher than he ever thought about being, or he's gonna tear him apart. Have a nice day.

Backstage: Conway, Sylvan, and Lance Cade tell Tajiri as an initiation onto Raw he has to mist the next one to come into the room. Coach walks in and Tajiri mists him! Coach runs out screaming, and they tell Tajiri that he's in trouble.

Nidia vs. Molly Holly
Molly is now wearing a red curly hair wig with chinstraps. This is what it is, just like the SD show it's an introduction for Nidia's wrestling who wrestled maybe twice since her debut in 2002. So, Nidia isn't really good but she does sell the shit out of her shoulder during Molly's work. Being around Noble did pay off The match ends when Nidia pulls off the wig and uses the embarrassment to roll up Molly for the win.

Recap of Edge spearing Eric last week.

Backstage: Eric is with his personal assistant, Johnny Blaze. Eric is ranting about the footage being shown again and says it's time for him to get some respect around here. He then makes the match of EDGE vs. KANE @ Backlash.

The Hurricane comes out for his match, but Triple H attacks him from behind. He rams his head into the stage and walks down to the ring. FUCK YEAH!

Triple H says that was a message to everyone in that RAW locker room. He says he saw them all laughing and cheering, but whos laughing now. He says he knows for a fact that Eric would have traded any or all of them to get him back. Triple H says for RAW to maintain the A show he has to be on the show, that's why Eric is smart. He says Kurt made that deal to trade him back to RAW out of ego, he didn't want Triple H to still be a bigger start than him. Plus he's still upset about me slapping him around a few years ago. FUCK YEAH! REMEMBERING THE PAST! He says Eric is gonna do what's right and change the Backlash main event to He vs. Benoit, one-on-one. Eric comes out and begins sucking up to Hunter, before saying he can't just take Shawn out, but he can order a rematch of the best Mania main event of all time. It will be Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H II.

Backstage: Evolution are talking, Batista sees Shelton walking and asks him WHAT THE HELL WAS SO FUNNY LAST WEEK! Triple H then attacks him from behind and says the first rule of RAW never disrespect the game, welcome to RAW kid.

Lance Storm comes out and yells he can't take this anymore, he tried and tried to please you people. That terrible music and silly dance. He says he is mocked by his peers and the people. Everywhere I go I hear is Dance Dance, Dance. Last week was my one chance to put it all behind him. He says he wished he would have been drafted to SD to start over. But, Rhyno comes out.

Lance Storm vs. Rhyno
Rhyno squash. GORE ends it.

Backstage: Tajiri is walking, he goes into Eric's office he tries to apologize to Coach who is complaining to Eric about the mist. Coach says that Tajiri said earlier that he doesn't respect Eric. Tajiri tries to deny it by saying "YOU ARE RIAR! NO! NO!" Coach also tacks on that Tajiri said he was also incompetent. Eric begins mock speaking Japanese and makes the match of Tajiri vs. KANE, tonight in a NoDQ match.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Chris Benoit & Shawn Michaels vs. Batista & Ric Flair [Special Referee: Johnny Nitro]
Everyone makes their entrance and it is annonced that Johnny Nitro, that's like 3 name changes in the past 10 minutes This is the usual goodness, fuck me RAW 2004 is so good, it's chaotic early on with everyone just throwing their body around trying to hurt someone. Benoit and Shawn target Batista's knee chopping him down to size. But Batista never skips LEG DAY and shoves him off, Flair gets in as immediately locked into the figure four. Nitro refuses to count Flair's shoulder when he shoulders are on the mat. Flair's willingness to allow Benoit to beat the shit out of him is the greatest, Benoit again busts Flair's chest open with chops before poking him in the eyes and getting Batista back in. It's pretty much all babyfaces for the first 6 minutes or so until Shawn gets caught with a Batista spinebuster which allows the champs to iso Shawn and work the back. Shawn's chops not looking like shit Benoit has a great hot tag as we get more violence towards Flair, he hits the 3 Germans and goes to lock in the sharpshooter but Batista takes his head off with a LARIAT! Shawn makes the save as we go to a commercial when we return the champs are now isolating Benoit but Benoit kicks Flair in the head and Shawn has a hot tag of his own. He cleans house as the match breaks down, Benoit takes out Batista and nails the diving headbutt to Flair. Shawn begins tunning up the band and nails the superkick. Nitro is reluctant but counts the three. Batista yells at him that Flair wasn't the legal man so Nitro restarts the match, he then tries to fast count Shawn so Shawn punches him, so Nitro DQ's him. ***

After the match; Shawn drags Nitro back into the ring where Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface.

Backstage: Shelton barges into Eric office and says he sees how things are on RAW, he says he wasn't laughing last week but was laughing when he saw Triple H tapping at Mania. He says Eric should do something about this. He says Shelton can learn not to disrespect Triple H or Eric Bischoff, he's got a bright future. Austin clears his throat behind Eric and says not to listen to him. Austin says Shelton has a chance to make a name for himself, he tells Shelton to challenge Triple H to a match. Shelton agrees and tells Eric to make the match. Eric okays it.

The Highlight Reel is set up in the ring, with Jericho already in it. he congratulates Christian & Trish for getting him and humiliating him. He says he hasn't forgotten and will get them, just not tonight. He says he's been told that if he touches Trish tonight, he'll be fined and suspended. So instead, he wants an explanation from his guest, Trish Stratus. She mocks him for not being able to touch her, she says he just wasn't there for her. She says when she fought Christian, a real man would have hopped down on one knee to protect her. She says Christian was there for her and what he said to her later that night all made sense, and said he used Christian and tried to use her, but she's WAY out of his league. She says their plan to humiliate Jericho worked, and that night they plotted and planned all night long but it wasn't the only thing they did all NIGHT LONG! He calls her the biggest slut of the century, and thanks her for coming out here an opening up, since that's what she does best. He says Trish said he blow it, well SHE'S THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN DOING ALL THE BLOWING AROUND HERE! AND THEY SAY KURT ANGLE SUCKS! He calls her a pig. He ends it by calling her a FILTHY DIRTY BRUTAL DISGUSTING BOTTOM FEEDING TRASHBAG HO. FUCK YEAH BABYFACE DISTORYING WOMAN JERICHO IS BACK Trish storms off and Jericho leads the crowd in chanting out.

Backstage: Tajiri is preying while waking this shit is AMAZING!

Backstage: Christian calms Trish down by saying he just talked to Bischoff and at Backlash, and he has the match.

Tajiri vs. KANE
Kane pretty much beats him down for like 2 minutes, but Tajiri sprays the mist into his eyes and rolls back into the ring at the count of 8 so KANE is counted out. After the match; Kane attacks him and Chokeslams him, he goes to do it again but Edge comes out and hits him with a spear.

Backstage: Shelton is getting ready when Chris Benoit comes in, he says Smackdown is the past and he's damn proud of him for sticking up for himself. He tells Shelton to go out and take it to him. Hurricane says to take TRIPLE H DOWN! Foley also says he's seen Shelton prove himself on SD but now it's time to do it on RAW.

Smackdown Rebound.

Backstage: Ric Flair is giving Triple H a pep talk. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin
Pretty well-known match in the WWE I think, Hunter uses the Flair vs. local guy formula but Triple H is finally back instead of that shell of a man in 2002, and that lazy fat fuck Flair adjace in 2003. His cocky veteran stuff to start the match is great as he doesn't take Shelton serious at all, so Shelton outwrestles him on the mat which totally throws Hunter off. Shelton even goes the cocky slap to the cheek to show he's not intimidated. AWESOME moment as Shelton almost makes a mistake which leads to a pedigree but Shelton barely avoids the Pedigree, so he motions that it was THIS close. Then seconds later Shelton gets a super close backslide, and he does the same thing. Triple H tries to get too aggressive but it keeps backfiring and Shelton is using his quickness to hit these awesome armdrags. Awesome near fall of the dragon leg whip before Shelton goes back to the arm. Flair has to come out but just as he goes to interfere Benoit comes out to even the odds. Shelton keeps going back to the arm, but then switches things up to throw Hunter off and it keeps working. Hunter begins to get desperate and sends him shoulder first into the ring post, he starts getting aggressive to take over, and he really goes out of his way to bump big and make Shelton look like a million bucks. JR and King are amazing calling this too, Lawler is coky as shit to the point where he doesn't believe in Shelton at all and then keeps being shocked Shelton lasts this long or that he's having any success, as JR keeps talking about Shelton's ability and heart. Shelton has these great comebacks as Hunter continues to do some of his best bumping since 2000. Hunter keeps getting too cocky like he can put this away anytime but it backfires on him, he even tries to go up top but Shelton gets the boots. They go for another minute or so, Shelton hits the top rope lariat for another awesome near fall. so this rules. Huge bumps, great near falls and Shelton counters. Hunter distracts the ref so Flair punches Shelton, that leads to Benoit chasing Flair around ringside that distracts Triple H allowing Shelton to hit the stinger splash into the corner and roll him up for the win. ***3/4

Shelton celebrates with Benoit up the ramp and JR screams that IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS! AND HE JUST BEAT THE GAME!

AWESOME Episode, without a doubt the best RAW of the brand split.

 

[Chris]

Loved how Bischoff just have everyone one on one matched with Kane when they pissed him off for a few months bc Kane didn't have shit to do

 

[Crippler]

Gonna start doing this ever 3 months, just to help me with the end of year MOTY list. Only *** or above

First Quarter AWARDS

22. February 26th, 2004 Smackdown - Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Billy Kidman **3/4 - ***
21. January 8th, 2004 Smackdown - The Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerrero's ***
20. January 29th, 2004 Smackdown - Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio ***
19. February 19th, 2004 Smackdown - Chavo Guererro Jr. vs. Eddie Guererro ***
18. WrestleMania XX - Evolution (Ric Flair, Batista & Randy Orton) vs. The Rock 'n' Sock Connection ***
17. January 11th, 2004 Sunday Night Heat - Randy Orton vs. Val Venis ***
16. January 1st, 2004 Smackdown - Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri ***
15. No Way Out 2004 - Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio ***
14. February 9th, 2004 RAW - Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit ***
13. March 29th, 2994 RAW - Chris Benoit & Shawn Michaels vs. Batista & Ric Flair ***
12. March 25th, 2004 Smackdown - Booker T vs. Eddie Guererro ***
11. February 16th, 2004 RAW - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit ***
10. January 26th, 2003 RAW - Chris Jericho & Rob Van Dam vs. Evolution (Randy Orton, Batista & Ric Flair) ***1/4
9. March 15th, 2004 RAW - Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Evolution (Batista, Ric Flair & Randy Orton ***1/4
8. January 12th, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam ***1/4
7. WrestleMania XX - Christian vs. Chris Jericho ***1/2
6. March 1st, 2004 RAW - Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton & Batista ***1/2
5. March 29th, 2994 RAW - Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin ***3/4
4. March 18th, 2004 Smackdown - Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guererro ****
3. Royal Rumble 2004 - Rumble Match
2. WrestleMania XX - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H ****1/2
1. No Way Out 2004 - Brock Lesnar vs. Eddie Guerrero ****1/2

Top Five Wrestlers
5. Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair
4. Rey Mysterio
3. Eddie Guerrero
2. Randy Orton
1. Chris Benoit

Top Five Tag Team
5. LOL
4. LOL
3. Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit
2. Randy Orton, Ric Flair & Batista
1. Ric Flair & Batista

Best Brand
MONDAY MOTHERFUCKING NIGHT RAW

Best Feuds
5. Austin/Brock
4. Eddie/Kurt
3. Orton/Foley (This will probably be moved up after backlash)
2. Christian/Jericho
1. Eddie/Brock