WWE Raw, Smackdown, PPV's 2004 Review Thread (Maybe HeAT & Velocity Matches)

[Chris]

Kerwin White was his best chance at fame tbh

 

[Deezy]

needed to be a foot higher and 40 lbs heavier and a personality.

 

[Crippler]

RAW
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

Smackdown
WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Royal Rumble
January 25, 2004
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Tables match for the WWE World Tag Team Championships: The Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair & Batista
Before the match, during Evolution's entrance, Bastia calls the Dudleyz worse losers than the Eagles. That results on the Dudleyz running up the ramp for a brawl and the match is on. This is fine and kept short around 5 minutes or so, lots of brawling double teams and table teases until the other tag partner moves the table at the very last second. At one point, Coach leaves the booth and tries to distract the Dudleyz works as D-Von walks into a Spinebuster through a table. And Evolution win. *3/4

Backstage: Josh Mathews wearing this fucking hideous black shirt with what looks to be white cum stains running down in interviews John Cena. He asks him his thoughts on the Rumble, Cena says to bet on him because 29 other dudes can't see him and the winner goes to.............................Suddenly RVD pops up and says he's gonna win.

Empty seat for Mick Foley

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nadia)
Way too short, like 3 minutes but they have their chemistry down so it's really good. Noble half ass works the mid-section to which Rey doesn't sell for a single second. Rey's comeback is dope, so, I can kinda forgive him for it. The match ends when Noble runs the ropes but Nida "accidentally" trips him up. That allows Rey to hit the 619 followed by the Legdrop for the win. **

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/Chavo Guerrero Sr.) vs. Eddie Guerrero
This is all about Eddie controlling his anger, which is fine and all but Psyco/Out for blood/Latino Heat Eddie <3 Chavo does everything he can to provoke Eddie but Eddie just wants to embarrass Chavo and show him up. This takes a little bit to get going but when it does it's fine, sadly the Eddie story holds it back a tad. Chavo classic gets involved dropping Eddie on the steps which allows Chavo Jr. to go on offense he doesn't really do anything he just steals Eddie's moves and tries to provoke him. Eddie then hits the three amigos and hits the Frog Splash for the win. After the match; Eddie ties Chavo Classic to the ropes with his tie. and begins beating the shit out of Chavo Jr. with punches busting him open like Chavo did to him. Disappointing match with a really flat ending, but at least the post-match beating made sense. **

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Chris Benoit when Flair, Batista, and Orton come over. Flair says Orton will win the Rumble and even though Benoit is the greatest technical wrestler alive, everyone knows he takes 2nd every time a big match. He can't reach the brass ring. IT'S ABOUT EVOLUTION! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WWE Championship: Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar
Such a waste of Brocks talents, Brock does what he can and bumps like a beast along with "selling the fear" of Hardcore trying to break his neck. And to give Hardcore some credit he's super vicious but just a shame he's a fucking waste of a wrestler. Holly tries more to break Brock's neck rather than win the WWE championship which is such a redneck way Wouldn't you want to get back at Brock by taking the one thing he loves the most in this world and that's the WWE Championship? Anyway, Hardcore goes for one too many full nelsons and on the 2nd try Brock hangs him up throat first onto the top rope. Holly is hurt so Brock hits him with the F5 for the win. **

Backstage: Triple H is getting his fist taped up, while Shawn Michaels is praying.

one of my favorite video packages ever.​

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H
Punch heavy to start they go back and forth exchanging punches and chops before just randomly reversing holds, so not a good start at all. Triple H thankfully puts an end to Shawn's terrible leading and begins working Shawn's lower back. Awesome hard Irish whips into the turnbuckle, it's one of the few bright spots in Shawn/Hunter matches. Sadly that's used as filler and Shawn locks in the figure four before working on Hunter's quads and knee. They now brawl on the floor and tease either man going through the announce table, but Hunter quickly jumps off. Shawn brings him back and tries a springboard crossbody but hilariously overshoots it and goes crashing through the announce table. Shawn is busted open now. Shawn's blading is amazing here cause this match is now, his whole face is covered like you can barely see the orange tan. Triple H does his usual offense punches, chair shots. and moves to the back all that get 7, 8 or 9 counts Shawn keeps egging him to bring it one as soon as he gets to his feet. Shawn counters a pedigree on the chair by catapulting Hunter into the top of the ring post., but Shawn's not done he nails him with a sweet looking chair show busting Hunter open now. Shawn does his usual comeback, he goes for SCM but Hunter ducks the kick and forearm low blows Shawn. I Love that spot. More punches but Shawn shoves him and locks in a sleeper, he has Hunter down but he gets up at the count of 9. I like that both men sell the exhaustion and the blood loss so that are stumbling, and have to dig down deep in hopes that this counter into a big move will be enough to keep the other down for 10. Shawn gets up at 9.9 after a pedigree, Hunter is in shock and runs into a superkick. Both men are down Shawn tries to get up at 7 but collapse at 9. So it's a draw. Not as bad as I remembered it being, but it's still not good. Not a good showing by either men but Hunter has more good moments than Shawn. The only highlight was both men blading like this was some horror movie. **1/2 - **3/4

Evolution comes down as Triple H is stretchered out, while Shawn refuses it and stumbles up the ramp with help from an EMT and Earl Hebner.

Taz and JR are calling the Rumble. FUCK YEAH!

Eric Bischoff comes down to the ring, he talks about how RAW is superior at everything and begins talking shit about Paul Heyman is a joke. Paul Heyman comes out now, with a mic. He just shrugs and tackles Eric, they have this hilarious sissy fight but SHERIFF AUSTIN COMES OUT ON HIS ATV! He yells at them for wasting time before the Rumble. He asks who started it, and Stuns them both for breaking the LAW. Austin drinks beer before driving off.

Backstage: Goldberg is getting ready for his match when Brock Lesnar comes over gloating about beating Holly. Brock says the last time Goldberg interrupted him he was world champion, what happens? Goldberg says that was the past all that matters is him winning the rumble and getting back his World Championship. And asks "Isn't that right, Holly?" Brock turns around in fear, but nobody's there. Goldberg then says "...and some people call Foley a coward..."

Mick Foley STILL isn't here, and JR reluctantly admits that he's a coward.

Royal Rumble Match
#1 Benoit and #2 is Orton, we get a minute and half of AWESOMENESS which is a sweet tease for August #3 is Henry who has a great little slugfest with Benoit, #4 Tajiri who kicks the shit out of Orton and has some nice moments with Benoit. Bradshaw is #5 who kills Orton, Henry, and Tajiri with brutal clotheslines. He goes for one on Benoit but Benoit counters and throws Bradshaw out. Rhyno is #6 who goes right for Benoit. Tajiri has Mark in the Tarantula, and Benoit dodges the Gore. It hits Mark, and the impact shoves Tajiri down to the floor. Benoit runs at Mark with forearms near the ropes and manages to knock him over to eliminate Henry. Matt is #7, Steiner is #8, Morgan is #9 and Hurricane is #10. The match slows down, with lots of corner activity either kicks, trying to lift the wrestler out or just choking. Hurricane takes a nasty landing on his knee or ankle when he is thrown out by Morgan. Booker is #11 and Kane is #12 during Kane's entrance Scotty is eliminated by Booker. Kane cleans house. But at the buzzer......................THE LIGHTS GO OUT! GONG! The lights comeback on and Kane screams he buried him alive. That distraction allows Booker to clothesline him out. Spike comes out I guess he's #13 KANE is pissed so he chokeslams him on the ramp. Rikishi is #14 as Benoit throws out Rhyno. Rene is #15

Rene dropkicks Matt off the apron to eliminate him and proceeds to do the FRENCH TICKLER~ But then Rikishi Superkicks Rene out over the top. A-Train is #16 Morgan goes for a big boot but misses Benoit and crotches himself so Benoit shoves him out. Orton then shoves Rikishi and Booker over in the space of 4 seconds. Shelton is #17 who goes right at Orton, during Shelton's entrance Benoit throws A-Train out. Then Orton throws Shelton out and we're back to Orton/Benoit They run into one another for the double KO. When the buzzer goes off The Cat and Miller are #18 They dance for a minute and 20 seconds until Orton and Benoit get up and throw them both out. Kurt is #19 Kurt/Benoit and Kurt/Orton rules. Rico is #20 but is quickly thrown out by Orton. Test is supposed to be #21 but we cut backstage to him laid out, Austin yells out at the person who attacked him (Who is off-screen) he yells he is now his number #21...................................................AND IT'S MICK FOLEY! Orton's facial expression is amazing. He and Orton have this fun back and forth and eliminates Orton and himself with the Cactus clothesline over the top and to the floor. They have this awesome brawl on the floor with Orton doing everything he can just to get away from Foley is totally overshadows what happens in the ring. Christian is #22 as Orton and Foley are now brawling on the ramp. Nunzio is #23 and walks into Mr Socko before Orton low blows him and runs off. #24 is The Big Show who starts throwing people around, #25 is Jericho. As everyone tries to team up except Nunzio who is hiding on the floor. They all try to throw Show out but he's having none of it. Haas is #26 Christian tries to sneak throw Jericho out for the all the shit he's been doing to him and for Last Year's Rumble but Jericho lands on the apron and catches Christian in a backdrop eliminating him. Billy Gunn is #27 and Cena is #28 who throws Nunzio in. Cena/Show is cool as everyone else pairs up in the corner. RVD is #29 who kicks everyone and everything in sight. BILL GOLDBERG IS #30 He murders everyone before throwing Haas out. He then hits the greatest spear in wrestling history absolutely murdering Nunzio. He clotheslines Gunn and throws Nunzio out, he goes to Jackhammer Show but Brock attacks him from behind and nails an F5. As Brock is getting up Kurt sneaks up behind and throws him out. Everyone left now tries to left show out but can't so there's a really great sequence of Show eating the Lionsault, Frog Splash, 5 Knuckle Shuffle, and Diving Headbutt. Now they try again to lift him but he's dead weight and plays FAKE dead. He throws them all off and throws Cena out who take an awkward landing on his knee too, he catches RVD in a crossbody attempt and throws him out.

Benoit, Kurt, Show, and Jericho are the final 4. Jericho/Show rules with Jericho showing his babyface heart going after the big man. He keeps surviving Shows attempts to throw him out. But after the 4th try Show has enough and chokeslams Jericho out. Benoit/Show and Show/Kurt is fun. Kurt locks in the ankle lock on Show who first taps but then uses the ropes to get back to his feet and rolls forward ending Kurt over the top and to the floor. AWESOME SPOT! Show is on the apron and Benoit hits a diving headbutt but Show falls back into the ring in this amazing heartbreak moment. Benoit locks in the crossface and manages to get Show to tap but Show is still the fresher of the two and powers out. Benoit is now at the hour mark Show decides this is it and goes to press slam Benoit out but Benoit shimmies out into a front headlock and for one of the most awesome visuals in Rumble history he manages to slowly pull show over the top and to the floor.

Great Rumble it's in my top 3 along with 1992 and 2001, this has a great mix of wrestling but also builds to new feuds, current feuds that have been happening on TV along with FORESHADOWING. Plus I'm a little bias with Benoit winning. It's hard to rate Rumbles so I don't give them star ratings but this is currently my MOTY!

 

[Deezy]

Still my favourite Royal Rumble.

 

[Chris]

Yeah 04 is my favorite up with 92 and 01 as well, also I throw 08 in there too as those are the only 4 rumbles i ever rewatch.

 

[Hoss]

Yeah 2004 is one of those select Rumbles that is worth watching just to watch.

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

WWE Monday Night RAW
January 26th, 2003
Hershey, Pennsylvania

Recap of Foley showing up at the Rumble last night.

Chris Jericho comes down to the ring, they play his awful song which is from the WWE Originals album. Shit is trash. Jericho says normally he would come out and be angry about Benoit winning the rumble but Benoit is on Smackdown and this is RAW IS JERICHO! Jericho says seeing how he was the last man from Raw in the rumble and Eric still owes him a favor he wants that match, but not at WrestleMania. TONIGHT! Eric Bischoff comes out and says he wants to use his favor for a title match? Eric says he has his match, but he has another match TRISH VS. KANE! Eric says he's embarrassed that Jericho was the last man in because he lost and Raw has failed to win the Rumble two years running. He gives Eric an ultimatum either have his title match or use it to cancel Trish/Kane. Eric mocks him for still liking Trish and cancels the match. Eric says it's not over yet and blames him for dropping the ball for Raw. He then makes the match Jericho and RVD vs. Flair, Batista, and Orton NEXT!

Chris Jericho & Rob Van Dam vs. Evolution (Randy Orton, Batista & Ric Flair)
This is really good, good back and forth action to start neither team can really maintain control of the match for a long period of time. RVD/Orton still rules as does Jericho/Orton. Jericho has another amazing showing as a babyface and RVD isn't far behind when he's not fucking up. The match breaks down and Batista spine busters Jericho on the floor leaving it a 3-1 and allowing Evolution iso RVD. They work RVD's arm and it's great all three just take turns stretching, bending and just flat out trying to rip RVD's arm off. RVD's selling during the work is great but I after a while RVD's just randomly stops selling so FUCK HIM! After what has to be 5 minutes Jericho finally makes it back to the apron and has this really fun hot tag. The match breaks down, and with RVD hitting the 5 Star on Flair as Jericho has Batista in the walls, Orton hilariously fucks up the RKO but comes back and hits it the 2nd time and Batista rolls on top for the win. ***1/4

Backstage: Orton is ranting to Eric about being screwed last night, it was his night. Eric says he has every right to be upset. Orton says he hears rumors that Foley is supposed to be here. He wants the green light to beat Foley's ass as soon as he sees him. Eric okays it. Austin walks in and says the rumors are correct Foley will be here and Orton will get to TRY to beat his ass but only after Foley has mic time to talk about what's been going on with him.

Backstage: Jericho is in his locker room when Trish comes in, she thanks him for giving up his world title match for her. He says he didn't want to see her hurt. Trish says she wants them to be really good FRIENDS! Not friends like Christian. Where they score chicks, but just good friends. Jericho is awkward about it and begins to ask how she knows about that, but Christian walks in. He says they have to talk and basically tells Trish to leave. She leaves, and Christian asks what Jericho's doing, giving up his title shot for a woman. They briefly argue about the Rumble, but Jericho says Christian tried to throw him out first. Jericho asks where he was when he needed help out there, but Christian says he was smoothing things over with Bischoff. He says that he got them a tag #1 Contender's shot next week, and asks if he can count on his best friend to focus on the match instead of a teenage crush, yelling that this is Raw, not an episode of The OC. He tells Jericho to straighten up and get his head out of his ass.

Victoria & Lita (w/Steven Richards) vs. Molly Holly & Jazz (w/Theodore R. Long)
PASS!

Triple H comes down to the ring and grabs a mic, he says last night two men stepped foot in this ring, they scratched, they clawed they fought for that they believed in and that is the world championship. Shawn Michaels said it would come down one second and that's what happens that one second was a reality for Michaels not being able to get it done. Shawn comes out, Hunter yells at him what does he have to do to him for him to get rid of him. Shawn says they haven't even gotten started yet. Stone comes out on his ATV before entering the ring. He says it's a damn shame the match last night ended in a tie, he says Shawn deserves a rematch but the problem is he can't make matches just to uphold the LAW! He says the winner of the Rumble gets the title shot at Mania, and it doesn't state which title. He says Shawn had a hell of a match...but he did not win the Royal Rumble. AUSTIN THEN BRINGS OUT CHRIS BENOIT! Both Shawn and Hunter are confused and shocked. Benoit says last night all 3 of them went through hell, but for 18 years he fought to be the best, it took him 62 minutes to beat 29 other men to get his shot at WrestleMania. He says it doesn't matter if it's Shawn or Triple H at WrestleMania he will fulfill his destiny and win the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. DROP MIC!

RIP Smackdown they just lost their best wrestler of all time.

KANE vs. Bubba-Ray Dudley
Pretty Trash, after a minute or two Kane, is DQ'ed for hitting Bubba with the steel steps. After the match; D-Von runs out from the back and tries to make the save but fails. The lights go out, the gong hits, and a creepy video of quick shots of Kane burying Taker at Survivor Series airs before it cuts to static

Backstage: Eric and Heyman are on the phone together, Eric says he had no idea that Benoit was on RAW he doesn't know what Austin will do. Heyman tells Eric the lawyer up because he's gonna sue. Coach comes in and makes jokes about Heyman and Eric having a sissy fight last night. Eric says he wants to make jokes well tonight it will be Coach vs. Goldberg in a NoDQ MATCH!

Rico and Rob Conway had a match, I didn't watch.

Stacy comes out looking insanely hot, it a crime that I've watched 4 weeks of RAW and this is the first Stacy sighting SMH! Anyway, she comes down and raised Miss Jackie's hand as Lawler teases that playboy are looking for WWE's top duo for their next edition.

Mick Foley arrives.

Coachman comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he begins pleading and begging for Eric to call off the match. But
Theodore R. Long and Mark Henry come out, Teddy says it's unfair that that cracker Eric is dumping his problems on a black man. But he's hating. He says all the whites expect the blacks to dance and agree with masta but no more so tonight Mark Henry will be in his corner.

NoDQ Match: Johnathan Coachman (w/Theodore R. Long & Mark Henry vs. Goldberg
This is basically Mark/Goldberg for a few minutes which rules, I really wish we got a straight 6-8 minute match during Goldbergs year run. They do some stuff for 2 minutes until Goldberg disposes of Mark, he grabs Coach who is sitting on the top turnbuckle and nails him with a spear/jackhammer for the win. After the match; Goldberg talks into the camera and says he doesn't care what show Brock is on HIS ASS IS NEXT!

​

 

[Deezy]

I agree with Teddy Long....Eric bischoff is a racist.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Smackdown
January 29th, 2004
Washington, D.C.

Paul Heyman is in the ring, he starts to talk but is immediately cut off by Vince's music and out comes Vince to a shocked Heyman expression. Vince says tonight should have been a night of celebration, to see the Rumble winner come out. But that's not gonna happen, Benoit is no longer on Smackdown is he? Vince says he saw it with his own eyes. He blames Heyman for Benoit jumping through a legal loophole and blames Heyman for making Benoit's life hell for leaving. Vince demands Heyman make a public apology. Heyman yells "SCREW CHRIS BENOIT" because Vince would say the same thing, it's like when Nash, Hall, and Hogan left YOU Vince yelled SCREW THEM! When Bret Hart left why did he leave because you SCREWED BRET HART THEN YELLED SCREW BRET HART! Heyman says tonight for the first time ever SD will have it own Royal Rumble. 15 Smackdowns guys will come down to this ring and the winner will get a shot at Brock, but not at WrestleMania. At No Way Out. Heyman says Morgan was injured at the Rumble so Hardcore Holly will take his place and seeing how Benoit left, Eddie will take his spot. He then lists all the guys in the rumble I won't spoil it for you.

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua) vs. Billy Kidman & Paul London
HOW THE FUCK DID Kidman and London get a title shot? this is the first televised match they've had together. Also, they got a shot over WGTT who holds a pin victory over the champs? SMH! London was good in this bumping and showing tons of heart while getting his ass kicked. Bashams work over London's back it's okay very heel 101 with holds and shit. Kidman has a pretty alright hot tag, it's his best showing since team with Rey mid-2003. The match ends when the Bashams use twin magic and one of them steals Orton's elevated DDT that was just used two weeks ago SMH! it didn't even look violent and Kidman is clearly not RVD when it comes to bumping. **1/2

Backstage: Kurt Angle is picking his number from the tumbling balls. Kurt again dedicates this to the troops. He tells Dawn he will win and beat Brock. Kurt then picks his number and quickly rushes away.

Backstage: Chavo who has a nasty black eye and bruises on his face tells his dad the cuts will heal but the scares in his heart will never heal. He says he will get his revenge on Eddie and when he does everyone will know who is the biggest Guerrero in history.

Backstage: Eddie goes to draw his number he gets Dawn to blow on his ball for good luck. She does and Eddie is excited about his number. Rey comes over and brings in some Mexican dude with him. Eddie rubs his bald head for luck. They begin speaking Mexican or Spanish and try hitting on Dawn.

Backstage: Cena goes to draw his number but first he flirts with Dawn by telling her to grab a ball. He picks a number and is happy about it. Rhyno comes in and asks how his knee is? by saying it would be a shame if someone attacked it and ended his career. Cena tells him he stinks and asks Heyman for some soap. They then cut back to the ring because no one buys Rhyno willing and no one cares what number he is

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Jamie Noble (w/Nadia) vs. Rey Mysterio
Way better than the Rumble match as they got more time and got to tell a better story instead of cramming everything into 3 minutes. Good counter mat wrestling to start, Nida "accidentally" trips Noble up but he manages to recover and counter a Rey move into a backbreaker and now Jamie goes to work on the back/mid-section. Rey selling the back was great during the work but he would quickly forget as usual. Rey's comeback is dope, lots of crisp highflying moves. Rey hits the 619 but Noble ducks the West Coast Pop. He throws Rey to the floor in front of Nida and goes up top. Nadia goes in front of Rey so Noble gets down and throws her into the ring. As Rey gets back onto the apron Noble goes to throw her into Rey but she puts on the breaks. Noble then comes charging in and she ducks and he runs into a Rey forearm. Rey follows up with a senton splash for the win. ***

Nida takes off her classes and CAN see. THAT BITCH! She leaves and Noble is in shock.

Some THOT called Rue DeBona is somewhere and says the rumor is Playboy is looking for WWE's hottest tag team for its next spread. She gives a rundown of all the past WWE/Playboy collabs.

Backstage: Show hand it too big to grab a ball so Dawn grabs a ball for him. Show says he is not getting screwed like at the Rumble.

Backstage: Josh Mathews goes over what happened with him and Goldberg at the Rumble. He then shows the video of Goldberg calling him out on RAW. Brock says everyone used to call him a Goldberg wannabe, but he's done things Goldberg could only dream of. Like being the youngest WWE Champion, beating Taker in HIAC, main eventing Mania, and being the best WWE Champion ever. He says Goldberg is a Brock Lesnar wannabe. Brock says he is NOT afraid of anybody, so tonight just to prove to everyone even Goldberg he is issuing an open challenge to anyone on Smackdown. NON-TITLE!

Backstage: Haas and Benjamin are picking their balls Shelton goes to grab Dawn's tits but Haas cockblocks. Suddenly, some backstage worker comes over and yells Eddie has been attacked. Paul goes over and sees Eddie out cold with EMT's, Rey, and Heyman surrounds him. The two Chavos show up, and Chavito denies anything to do with this. Rey yells that he knows it was him and runs at Chavo. He attacks him, and they have to pull Rey off of him.

During the break, Eddie is loaded up into the back of an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan
AWSOME Brock squash, Brock might be the greatest squsher of the 2000's and only 2nd all time to Vader. Brock does give OJ a shit ton of offense on him before murdering him with a sick lariat, he then locks on the BrockLOCK for the win.

Earlier Today Smackdown wrestlers went to the local medical center to see injured troops.

Video airs of Undertaker like tease messing with Kane's head.

Backstage: Josh asks if Taker is messing with Kane, Vince says he doesn't know all he knows is Taker was buried alive at the hands of HIM.

Backstage: Kurt rushes in pissed that someone took Eddie out, and how he could miss his shot. Heyman says he just spoke to the hospital and Eddie is awake. Kurt says he knows what he is doing, he gonna put Chavo in and take Eddie out. Heyman is confused and asks where is he getting his info from He says when Eddie's music hits and he's here, great he can wrestle if not Kurt now has a better shot at winning.

Royal Rumble Match
Kurt is #1 and Rhyno is #2, they do stuff for a minute and a half. Rhyno hits a nasty Gore and Kurt and Kurt takes an insane bump off it. Haas is #3, Shelton is #4 they team up and try to take out Kurt and Rhyno. Shelton and Kurt rules for the brief time it got. Bradshaw is #5 who pretty much does the exact same offense as he had during the Rumble all clotheslines from hell. During the commercial Cat was #6 he was also eliminated during the commercial by Kurt. Tajiri is #7, Billy Gunn is #8 Big Show is #9 During Show's entrance everyone pretty much stops what they are doing and all looks at Show making his way down. Typical show offense he begins throwing everyone around before throwing Tajiri out followed by Bradshaw. Cena is at #10 limping with a knee brace on. Cena almost eliminates Cena as we go to a commercial. During the commercial Nunzio is at #11 and is eliminated by Cena during the commercial. Also during the commercial A-Train is #12. Eddie is at #13 holding his neck. He throws A-Train out. Rikishi is #14 who does the stinkface to Show, Shelton, and Gunn. Hardcore Holly is #15

Show throws out Cena, Show is on the apron with the other wrestler pushing him over. Suddenly, Cena gets up and pulls Show to the floor and he's eliminated. Everyone pretty much pairs off and does corner offense Eddie/Haas, Shelton/Holly, Kurt/Billy and Rikishi gassing in the corner. Eddie throws out Haas while Kurt throws Shelton out. Kurt then throws Holly out who tries to slap Kurt but Kurt tells him to leave lol. Final 4 are Eddie, Kurt, Gunn, and Rikishi. Eddie uses a body scissors to eliminate Gunn. Eddie and Kurt team up to get rid of Rikishi. Kurt vs. Eddie is dope for 5 minutes, tons of near eliminates and just good counter wrestling moves. Eddie tries to use the Show roll through that worked at the Rumble but Kurt has it scouted and manages to hold onto the bottom rope. Eddie hits the three amigos and heads up top for the Frog Splash but Kurt pops and runs the ropes for a suplex but both guys hold on and shove one another, which causes both men to drop crotch first onto the top rope. Both men battle on the apron but Eddie suplexs Kurt back into the ring and delays suplex him to the floor. EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS!

 

[Crippler]

*BONUS*

January 4th, 2003 Sunday Night Heat - Matt Hardy vs. Tommy Dreamer
Mattitude.com; Matt's first job was at a carwash & Matt is more extreme than Tommy Dreamer. This is cool, Matt is super cocky but Dreamer is washed so Matt is able to duck and dive all his offense before ramming him back first into the ring apron. Matt misses a moonsault and Coach has the greatest line ever "Shades of his EX..........Nobody home much like when Matt goes back home. LITA IS GONE" lmao Tommy has a decent comeback lots of different variations of neckbreakers. Tommy goes for the DVD but Matt counters into a side effect for two. Matt goes for the kendo stick but Dreamer counters with the low down, Tommy then grabs the stick but Matt hits the twist of fate for the win. **1/2

January 10th, 2004 Velocity - The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Paul London & Spanky
Really fucking great, WGTT are brutal on offense and London/Spanky bump huge on everything. WGTT iso Spanky and work over the midsection and back. They try to stretch the shit out of spanky with various submission holds just basically ground him and toying with him. Londo has a dope hot tag, he might have the 2nd best dropkick in the E in 2004 behind Orton. London hits a series of them and bunch of flip moves but the numbers catch up to him as the match breaks down. WGTT hit the inverted drop followed by a Shelton superkick for the win. **1/2 - **3/4

January 11th, 2004 Sunday Night Heat - Randy Orton vs. Val Venis
Outta nowhere good, it gets a ton of time 13 minutes but theirs a commercial so only 8 minutes is shown Good counter mat work from both. Val being the more experience of the two gets the better and Val smartly works over the previously injured arm of Orton. AWESOME/AMAZING/NEVER SEEN BEFORE SPOT BEFORE SEES the ref stop the match so Val can tie his shoelace, but Orton is like fuck you, fuck him and fuck that and brutally kicks Val in the face as we go to a commercial When we return Orton is viciously ramming Val's back into the ring apron before using a page out of Trips' playbook and begins hard Irish whipping Val into the ring post. Val bumping is great but his selling is suspect and pretty lazy at times. Orton's back work is great too. Very methodical and vicious. Val's comeback is pretty meh, he does some okay power moves but I just can't get into him. Orton hits a sweet DDT and randomly starts working the next going into HEADLOCK RANDY MODE! but Val backdrops out, he goes for the Money Shot but Orton gets the knees up. He stalks Val and hits the RKO for the win. ***

January 17th, 2004 Velocity - Bradshaw vs. A-Train
This takes a little time to get going but when it does it's a ton of fun, lots of stiff Bradshaw punches and kicks to the head. he goes to end it early with a Clothesline from Hell but Train gets his arms up and somehow injures Bradshaw's arm to which his works. Bradshaw's selling is great and really makes what already looks vicious from Tran look even worse. Initially Bradshaw sells during his comeback like the would hold the arm after using the arm for a punches and chops, but then would randomly just stop selling. Then fucking 3 seconds later he would start selling just to hit the clothesline from hell for the win. **1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Randy Orton
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair & Batista
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

WWE Monday Night RAW
February 2nd, 2004
Penn State University, Pennsylvania

Tonight: Goldberg vs. Kane & Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

The Highlight Rell is set up in the ring with Jericho in it, he says his guest tonight has had more exposure than Jannet Jackson's right boob. CHRIS BENOIT! Benoit comes out. Jericho congratulates him for not only winning the Rumble but finding the loophole that allows him to RAW. Jericho says he's not only dealing with Triple H but he's dealing with Evolution and the biggest assclown Eric Bischoff. Benoit says he came to RAW for one reason and that's to be the best and no one will stop him. Jericho says the biggest obstacle in Benoit's way maybe Benoit. Jericho talks about how Benoit has never won the big one, he says a lot of people say he doesn't have what it takes. Jericho shows the Flair promo from the Rumble on the Jeritron 5000. Suddenly, Flair comes out and basically repeats the promo from the Rumble how Benoit is the greatest technical wrestler of all time but always comes in 2nd place. Flair says TO BE THE MAN! YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN! and that ain't gonna happen. Benoit agrees Triple H is the man but says he will beat him at Mania but he wants YOU Flair tonight. Eric Bischoff comes out and says Flair vs. Benoit sounds good, but he has something different in mind. Eric makes the C-Men vs. Flair/Batista for the tag title and Benoit has a match up NEXT!

Chris Benoit vs. Mark Henry (w/Theodore R. Long)
Mark fucks up his shoulder about 15 seconds in so he only uses his left shoulder for the rest of the match and the match suffers as a result. Grantest it's the greatest pro wrestler of all time vs. Mark who is amazing at just throwing small wrestler around and he does that for 2 minutes or so. Benoit brings back the diving headbutt as Mark is standing which looks nuts. He then locks in the crippler crossface and mark taps. I should mention Triple H came out and sarcastically applauded. **1/2

Backstage: Stone Cold is walking around and finds Shawn, he asks if Shawn is in the dumps now that Benoit is on RAW. He asks what is Shawn gonna do about it. Shawn asks what he wants from him? HE'S IN IM OUT! Austin says if he wants a shot at the title. He better do something about it.

Recap of the Foley/Orton promo from last week.

Backstage: Foley is walking around and Test comes over and says Foley has a lot of balls attacking him at the Rumble. Suddenly, Orton runs over and nails Foley in the back with the IC title, then hits him in the head with it. Orton then tells Foley he will always be his BITCH!

Rene Dupree (w/Rob Conway) vs. Rico (w/Miss Jackie)
NOPE.

Stacy poses with Jackie as they try to get the Playboy cover.

Backstage: Trish is leaving the arena gym where Christian is outside reading the Rolling Stone magazine. She asks him what he wants he says Nothing he's just reading about Yoko Ono. The one who was "good friends" with John and distracted him, and he and his best friend Paul just argued about it instead of doing what they do best. And she sank her claws in and broke up that great team. Trish says that's not totally accurate. Christian says if he were Paul, he wouldn't wait for it, but he would slam Yoko down and take her out with a one-man Con-chair-to. But, that's just him.

Trish comes out for her match, but Eric appears on the tron. He says he scheduled her title match prematurely because she's not #1 Contender. Eric says he knows she came to compete so he has a match for her.....................................................KANE! Kane stalks her and goes for the chokeslam but Jericho runs out for the save. He outsmarts Kane sending Kane to the floor before telling Trish to run. Kane grabs a chair and nails him in the leg before sending him knee first into the steel steps.

Backstage: Jericho is in the trainer's room when Trish comes over thanking him for helping her, he says he needs to tell her something when Christian comes over. He asks what the hell he was doing playing hero before their title shot. He yells at Trish, asking if she hasn't caused enough damage already, but Jericho stands up and gets in his face, telling him to shut the hell up. He says he knows what's on the line, and not to worry about him or Trish, but to worry about getting the job done.

KANE vs. Goldberg
I think Goldberg was getting boooo'ed heavy at this point because in my headphones the audio Goldberg and crowd noise sounds pipped in. Just sounds so offkey. This is fine, lots of power offense and punches. Anyway, Kane hits a chokeslam but the lights go out and lightning strikes the ringposts. Another creepy video package appears on the tron which distracts Kane long enough for Goldberg to recover and hit the spear. Suddenly, Takers' GONG hits and Goldberg bails as the arena fills with smoke. Kane sits up and sees the smoke so he bails through the crowd and to the back.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy
Mattiture.com; Matt has never run out of gas while driving & Matt's chest hair grows swiftly. A really good mid-card match, all the strikes look stiff they captured the realism of punches and just hitting one another. Like you know when it doesn't look choreographed and it's just both guys swinging even the clotheslines look sick. Matt begins working the neck and it's pretty good. Apparently, this is a rematch from Sunday Night Heat so, I can't wait to watch that. Booker's comeback is really good even if he didn't sell a lick of neck pain. Anyway, Booker hits the Scissors Kick for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Shawn is cleaning his boots when Orton comes over and says he's gonna do what he did to Foley tonight, beat him and cement himself as the LEGEND KILLER! Shawn tells him he better be careful tonight or he will be cleaning his blood off his boot just like he did with Triple H's blood.

WRESTLEMANIA XX IN 41 DAYS~!

Triple H comes down to the ring in ring attire. But first he grabs the mic and says, theirs an old saying be careful about what you wish for. Chris Benoit, you are now in the big time. He knows there is only one world champion. THE BIG DADDY! He says they will have a contract signing next week and there is no going back. Triple H says he saw what he did to Mark and now Mark's shoulder is hanging off. He says he wants to see if he can do that against Flair NEXT WEEK! But tonight he better sit back and watch the world champion.

Triple H vs. Spike Dudley
AWESOME SQUASH By both men. Triple H being that cocky, vicious, champion picking on the weak while Spike bumps and dies on everything. Triple H hits the pedigree for the win.

Replay of Brock's interview on Smackdown

Backstage: Austin walks into Goldberg's locker room. Austin says he's prob heard what Brocks been saying about him, but he's got a buddy in California who sent him a front row ticket to No Way Out. He mentions that the main event is Eddie Guerrero vs. Brock Lesnar, he's not just representing Raw, but he's representing the good name of Stone Cold Steve Austin and says not to do anything he wouldn't do. They laugh, and Goldberg takes the ticket.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Ric Flair & Batista
This is more of an angle match than a real match, Christian and Flair start with Flair bumping his ass off but Batista blind tags in and kills Christian with a spinebuster giving Evolution control. Flair and Christian try to out-heel the other and Jericho has a nice babyface hot tag. The match breaks down, Jericho hurts his knee when he goes for the lionsault. He then locks in the Walls on Flair but Christian has the ref distracted "accidentally" so Flair chopblocks him. Batista sends Christian spine first into the ringpost as Flair locks in the figure four and Jericho taps. ** - **1/4

WrestleMania Recall: Shawn Michaels' entrance from 1996

Next Week: Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn wearing Survivor Series 1997 attire. This is fun, they kinda just do stuff for the opening 4 minutes until Orton accidentally dropkicks the ref. He then goes to grab his IC title but Austin comes out driving his ATV with Earl Hebner on the back Austin grabs the IC title and puts the KO'ed ref on the back and drives off Well that's something new. Shawn goes for a crossbody over the top but his knee gets caught on the ropes as we go to a commercial, when we return Orton is now working the back or the neck. it not a brutal like he's done against Val or RVD but it's still really good. Shawn does his usual comeback, but Orton grabs the superkick and turns it into a DDT. Mick Foley comes out holding his head which distracts Orton long enough for Shawn to schoolboy Orton for the win. **1/2

Orton and Foley begin brawling in the ring and end up fighting through the crowd up the stairs to the back. The rest of Evolution come out as Hunter sends Flair and Batista to go help Orton as Hunter begins beating Shawn up in the ring. Suddenly, Benoit runs down and pulls Hunter off. They have a face-off but Triple H backs off and heads back up the ramp. Benoit offers his hand to Shawn, who hesitantly shakes it, and they exchange words to end Raw.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE United States Champion: Big Show
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Basham Brothers
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Smackdown
February 5th, 2004
Cleveland, Ohio

Paul Heyman is in the ring, he says he turned a negative with Benoit selling his soul to raw and made it a positive with The Smackdown Royal Rumble. He says, Eddie, will get his match in 10 days at No Way Out. Heyman calls SD the land of opportunity. He says there's more opportunity tonight because later tonight he will come out and announce who will be the number #1 contender for the shot at the WWE champion at WRESTLEMANIA 20. He tries to claim he isn't like Eric who goes on, and on and on and on. So LETS GET SMACKDOWN STARTED WITH A TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!

WWE Tag Team Championships: Rikishi & Scotty II Hotty vs. The Bashams (w/Shaniqua)
Trash just like it always is. WGTT continue to get screwed but it will make sense in 2 months time. Faghams work the neck which goes nowhere. Rikishi's hot tag is shit. And he wins by hitting a Samoan drop. UGH!

Backstage: Dawn Marie goes into Cena locker room when and he tries to smash when Heyman comes in cockblocking. He says the FCC is cracking down on indecency in broadcasting, and so is he. So tonight he's benching Cena tonight but tells him to stick around and watch when he announces who the #1 Contender will be.

WWE United States Championship: The Big Show vs. Billy Gunn
So what did Gunn do to deserve a title match? Also, I think this is Show first title defense since winning, if not maybe November last year. This gets 9 FUCKING MINUTES. They don't have enough to fill it up so we get stalling and tons of filler shit that by the time the finish happens none of it matters. The match is just slow, boring and it never got past 1 gear. That's a lie it's like the car broke down before you even put the key in. Show counters the 2nd FameASSer into a weird chokeslam that looks like a one-armed chest-powerbomb for the win.

Backstage: Chavo & Chavo are ranting to Heyman about Rey trying to claim they attacked Eddie. Chavo Jr says he should be on the Smackdown magazine, so Heyman makes Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio for the Cruiserweight Championship @ No Way Out. Chavo Jr says when he beats him for the title he will also take his mask. Chavo Sir says when his son beats him he gonna go into the ring and spank Rey like his parents should have done. Heyman likes that idea so he makes Rey vs. Chavo Sir TONIGHT!

Michael Cole is in the ring and brings out, Eddie Guerrero. Cole congratulates him on his win last week, he asks him about his thoughts about his upcoming match against Brock Lesnar. Eddie goes to talk but BROCK LESNAR'S MUSIC HIT AND OUTCOMES BROCK! Brock hilariously runs off Cole and grabs his mic. He begins laughing and smiley at the "Eddie" chants. Brock congratulates him on winning the SD rumble last week and says he wasn't in that ring last week. He goes over all the people he's beaten since he's been here. He says he welcomes Goldberg and wants his front row to witness the beating he will deliver to Eddie. Eddie says he doesn't have those accomplishments of a Rock, Hogan, Show, Kurt all he has going for him is every obstacle put in front of him he has overcome. He says he doesn't listen to people like him because all his life he's had people like him in his ear. People saying he's not 6'7'' and 300+ lbs., so he can't be anything in pro wrestling. Those personal demons he battles every day? He can't overcome them! He'll never gain his kids and his wife back. He throws the mic down and kind of emotional/crazy before picking it back up and getting in Brocks face. He says that by the grace of God, he IS beating those demons and overcoming those odds, and every time, the pictures someone like Brock as the face of hate telling him what he CAN'T do. Eddie says at No Way Out he will not be facing Eddie Guerrero he will be facing LATINO HEAT!!!!! Brock laughs and says all those demons and people were right, EDDIE IS NOBODY! Eddie then attacks Brock and runs him out of the ring. He grabs the WWE championship and begins taunting Brock by putting it around his waist. AMAZING SEGMENT THAT I FORGOT ABOUT! Oh man.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman
More of an angle match, Noble works over Kidman's knee for 90% which is really good. Nadia comes out and starts giving Jamie's inherited money to the fans which distract him long enough for Kidman to hit the BK Bomb for the win.

Tonight: Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly UGH!

Backstage: Jamie Noble rants about everything he has done for Nidia just for her to mess with him. So, Heyman makes the match Nidia vs. Noble at No Way Out.

Some Trash ASS Rey Mysterio music video about him crossing the borders airs. NO BARZ

Playboy has picked Torrie Wilson and Sable for the Playboy shoot. FUCK YEAH! Torrie

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Sr. (w/ Chavo Guerrero Jr.)
Chavo Sr. continues to show that he's 100 times the wrestler his son will ever be, tons of cheating behind the refs back and awesome uppercuts but as good as Sr was Taz was even more hilarious "Chavo Sr looks great in that match for someone in their late 30's? & Chavo Senior's the best dad ever, I'm gonna be more like him from now on. My kid's got trouble in school, I'mma go to the school and beat them up" Cole then says that's nice your kid is 5. Anyway, Rey hits the 619 and the legdrop for the win. After the match; Chavo Jr. attacks Rey and puts the boots to him.

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly
So this happens, IDK if Kurt is on the heavy drugs yet or maybe he's just in a good place because his performance in this was bad. I will also put half the blame on Hardcore who isn't carryable at all. SACK OF SHIT! They try to make this as some big main event TV match to which no one buys and I don't care if Holly got a WWE title match at during this era the 2nd biggest PPV of the year. No one buys him as a main eventer, a tough guy or a good wrestler. Kurt has now full prostituted his finishers now, both in terms of kick outs but everyone just counters out the first time. Nobody gives a shit the first time, and it's killing poor Kurt cause he feels he needs to do more for pops. Anyway Kurt debuts the ankle lock with the figure-four for the win. **

Paul Heyman comes out and says the man that will..............................Suddenly, the Big Show comes out. in this amazing black velvet tracksuit and Nike's sneakers on. Show says it's obviously him, he dominated the Rumbles and says people love and pay to see him. Kurt says he was the last man taken out last weeks so he deserves it. Kurt says he challenges Show to anything and he will beat his ass. Kurt says Pie eating isn't a spot. Show says he eats pieces of crap like him for breakfast so Kurt's it back on him. Calling him a sicko. Paul tries to book a one on one #1 Contender's match, but John Cena comes out to the stage. He makes fun of Show being FAT. And Kurt playing the skin flute. Kurt and Show demand Cena be put in the match so they can kick his ass. Heyman doesn't like it at first but changes his mind. Cena makes a joke about Cleveland Steamers and ends the show by having the fans yell "eat my shit"

Terrible fucking episode, SD really only has Brock and Eddie. Benoit was really the captain and driving ship behind the show. It's mostly all down hill from here.

 

[Deezy]

Sheriff Austin playing favourites with HBK over Benoit....and TV-14 Cena wasn't better than PG Cena.

 

[Chris]

Smackdown becomes shit so fast when Benoit leaves and RAW gets 100 times better lmao

 

[Deezy]

that Paul Heyman booking