WWE Raw, Smackdown, PPV's 2004 Review Thread (Maybe HeAT & Velocity Matches)

[Deezy]

Victoria being terrible

 

[Crippler]

She's been god awful this year, telegraphing spots, sloppy moves and RVD level of strikes

 

[Deezy]

sounds like a typical womens match to me....least she didn't almost broke her neck that year.

 

[Cwalker]

The birth of the triple threat fuckery

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
December 2nd, 2004
Richmond Coliseum: Richmond, Virginia

Backstage: The MOTHERFUCKING Cabinet are walking when Theodore Long comes over and fines him for just getting her on time for TV. He then books the Bashams vs. Booker/Eddie. He also books JBL/OJ vs. The Undertaker, playa.

Joy is the guest timekeeper for the night.

Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam & Torrie Wilson vs. Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki & Hiroko (w/FiFi)
This is a pile of angle shit, Rene/RVD do some god awful indy opening sequence, Kenzo is pretty much a comedy spot wrestler at this point so he does shit like trip on the ropes to enter, as Hiroko and Torrie do the catfight he lays down so they can roll on him. RVD hits a the Frog Splash and wins. MEH!

Backstage: The Tough Enough contestants are walking.

Al Snow leads the Tough Enough contestants to the ring, Snow shows footage of the who the guys want to be eliminated. Miz says he wants Puder gone because he keeps talking about UFC. Rybak says he would vote Puder cause he doesn't even like wrestling, and he's just here to market himself. Justice also wants Puder gone because he's cocky and talks down to them. Puder wants Justice gone for being a FAKE tough guy and being a comedy act. THE RYBACK is eliminated. Snow says next week the two remaining finalists will not only be competing but they also will be on the PPV in a Boxing match. But, as for tonight, they have to impersonate a woman. AKA go to the back and dress up as a woman. BLAH!

Backstage: Hiroko and Kenzo are talking, Kenzo says she's giving him a headache and Hirko says she's sick of this and asks why he keeps staring at Torrie and Kenzo says "SHE HAS NICE EVERYTHING" Hiroko says oh you want to see everything, well my milkshake brings all da boys to the yard and challenges Torrie to a bra and panties match next week.

Charlie Haas (w/Miss Jackie) vs. Jesus (w/Carlito Caribbean Cool)
Before the match; Carlito grabs the mic and says it's not cool that Charlie is walking around hogging up all the woman, first Jackie and now Dawn. He then tries to hit on Jackie so Haas attacks him. Jesus then beats him down and nails him in the mid-section with the chain. NO MATCH! YAY!

Backstage: T.Long goes up to Carlito and Jesus, and calls them thugs. And says since Jesus likes taking it to the streets he has a match for him. It will be JESUS VS. CENA @ ARMAGEDDON!

RAW REBOUND!

Backstage: Michaelle McCool is doing yoga with Eddie and Booker, McCool says she feels a negitive energy and Booker says it not negitive it's jealousy because Eddie knows Booker is gonna win, Eddie makes jokes about Booker not winning the big one in the WWE. McCool tries to get them on the same page, but Eddie leaves instead.

JBL join commentary, and 30 seconds in he calls the Bashams the GREATEST TAG TEAM OF ALL TIME!

The Basham Brothers (w/Orlando Jordan) vs. Booker T & Eddie Guererro
This is like minutes but it's basically an Eddie/Booker showcase/angle, and I normally don't do this but credit to the Bashams they bumped their asses of for everything, sadly the match takes a huge dip once they take over tho. Eddie has a damn good hot tag, he doesn't totally look like he's phoning it in like he did against Luther and Jindrak. The match ends when Booker goes for the axe kicks the same time Doug goes after Eddie at the ropes so Eddie pulls it down, and the both of them fall to the floor. In the ring, Eddie hits the three amigos but as he goes for the Frog Splash Booker comes in and argues with Eddie. They argue and Danny comes in and shoves Eddie into Booker sending him to the floor again. Danny then rolls Eddie up and hooks his feet on the ropes for the win. **1/4

After the match; JBL hits both Eddie and Booker with Clotheslines from Hell.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle (w/Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak) vs. Sebastien McCauley
SQUASH! Didn't even take a minute.

Kurt Angle grabs the mic and calls Joy into the ring, she comes in and Kurt makes Lapologizelogize for last week. Luther then beings talking his past and shit. BACKSTORY! THAT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT! Luther then asks her out for dinner, but Joy refuses and says she already has plans with the Big Show. Kurt says she just insulted Luther, which means she just insulted him. He backs her into a corner but the Big Show comes out and cleans house on Luther and Jindrak as Kurt bailed. Show grabs the mic and challenges all 3 of them. But they leave instead.

Al Snow brings out the Tough Enough contestants in drag, Daniella Puder, Justina Smith, and Michaelle Mizanan. Snow then brings out Hardcore Holly to help judge the winner. UGH! FUCKING HELL IT'S STILL NOT OVER! Snow gives them 30 seconds to tease and impress Holly. Holly refuses at first but reluctantly accepts, they do stuff and it's terrible. But it sums up this show perfectly. SMACKDOWN RIGHT NOW IS A WALKING CROSSDRESS OF SHIT! Miz wins cause yeah.

Dawn Marie is in the ring, she says Jackie was out in her little Santa outfit ealier. So, Dawn unrobes and is wearing an even sluttier Santa's outfit. Jackie runs out and beats her down. Refs run down to separate the two. T.Long also comes out and this is gonna end at Armageddon in a match, with Haas as the special ref.

John Bradshaw Layfield & Orlando Jordan (w/Amy Webber) vs. The Undertaker
JBL/Taker is solid, OJ continues to add absolutely nothing of any value to the match or the show. FUCK HIM! This is literally Taker in control for 10 of the 12 minutes. Taker goes for the last ride on OJ but JBL boots him in the face and the heels do stuff, well try to. Taker counters everything so JBL has enough and hits Taker in the head with the WWE Championship for the DQ.

After the match; JBL hits Taker with the Clothesline from Hell, and the WWE title again. Cabinet puts the boots to Taker to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Who Da Champion? BY-GAWD?
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Shelton Benjamin
WWE World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Eugene
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Monday Night RAW
December 6th, 2004
Charlotte Coliseum: Charlotte, North Carolina

The show opens with FOZZY playing music on the stage, the Highlight Reel is set up in the ring. Jericho says tonight is his show and in a matter of minutes of "WHO IS DA CHAMPION" But before that welcome to RAW is JERICHO! He says tonight is gonna be the biggest party in the WWE and everyone gets laid, he drops leis from the rafters. Jericho books Lita/Trish for the Woman's' Championship, also a Diva's limbo challenge. Jericho then reshows the ending of the Triple Threat Match on the Jeritron 9000. Jericho says he needs answers to this question, so he brings out Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Vince comes strutting out hold the World Title like he's the World Champion. Vince says everyone has seen the footage and usually a result like this would end the match in a tie. So Triple H comes out. Hunter comes out smiling and Vince congratulates him on being a best selling author, he plugs his book "The Making of The Game" He congratulates him again on being a movie start in "Blade Trinity" Hunter doesn't care about all that. He just wants to hold the title he goes to grab it from Vince but Vince pushes him off and says he didn't name him world champion, he's gonna dump it on Eric's lap when he returns next week. Vince then "VACANT" the world champion and leaves.

Backstage: Hunter is ranting to Ric and Batista, Batista tells him to calm down, so Hunter gets mad at him for not being as mad as him. Hunter says he didn't seem mad when Orton threw him to the back and left him 1 on 2. Batista says it was him running down to save his ass, and it was him who pulled him off when Benoit he had the Crossface locked in and if it wasn't for him BENOIT WOULD BE WORLD CHAMPION! Batista leaves and Hunter flips a coffee table.

Backstage: Jericho is parting in his office when Christian comes in, he asks what the hell is this in his locker room, He pulls out a mask and outfit. Jericho says he's the GM tonight, and he gives the orders. He calls him Captain Carima and says if he doesn't wear the outfit he will never get another IC title match. Benoit then comes in, so he books Batista and Triple vs. THE REUNITING TWO MAN CANADIAN VIOLENCE! Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho

Eugene vs. Maven
This goes nowhere, it's mostly about Eugene outwrestling Maven and making him look garbage. During the match; Maven faked getting tripped and ends up getting Regal framed and thrown to the back. Minutes laterMaven would end up getting DQ'ed for refusing to break a choke hold when Eugene was under the ropes. After the match; Regal comes out to cool things down and make the save, so Maven hits him in the back of the head with one of the Tag Titles.

Jericho is back in the ring, he brings out Christy, Candice, Maria, Melina, and Stacy. He has them all take part in a limbo contest. Look all of this is gif worthy, but it's like 5 minutes I don't have time for this. OH! FUCK NO! Muhammad Hassan and Daivari interrupted appear on the tron, announcing they're gonna be ruining the party Next Week. FUCK!

OH, AND THINGS JUST GO FROM BAD TO WORSE!

Simon Dean vs. The Hurricane
NOPE!

Backstage: Coachman interviews Randy Orton, he says he's pleased with the announcement that Triple H is no longer world champion cause now he can compete again. Orton asks why Coach is upset, but in the background Edge's music hits and the camera cuts to Edge making his entrance.

Edge says he came here ready to defend his World Championship, but instead it's being held up until Eric comes back. Well, that is a travesty and a crime. And the fact that everyone in the crowd is fine with it makes them a disgrace. Edge says he won the Battle Royal and the World Title match. He says he pinned Benoit, and he held the World title but it was ripped away and screwed again. Edge says he blames Randy Orton for that, Orton could have done the right thing and made it a singles match, but instead made it a Triple Threat, he calls Orton's reign a failer and calls him out. Orton comes out and says yeah he could have made it Benoit vs. Hunter and he would have had nothing, or he could have allowed Evolution to ruin the match. Orton says they've been kicking each others ass all year, and tells Edge to blame himself for not getting the job done, and unlike him, he's been world champion so that makes him the failer. Edge says he ended Orton's IC title reign and when it comes down to it. ORTON YOU ARE MY BITCH! They have their AWESOME Forearm fight and pull apart brawl until agents and refs come from the back to break it up.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Shelton Benjamin vs. Captain Charisma (w/Tyson Tomko)
This is their usual goodness, but sadly it's kept under 5 minutes so they have to rush Christian's heat segment, he targets the mid-section and it's a ton of fun, we even get some brief Shelton selling so that's nice. The match ends when Tomko distracts the ref so Shelton hits him with a dragon whip kick, he then pulls Christian's mask to the side blinding him and Shelton hits the T-Bone Suplex for the win **3/4

Backstage: Snitsky wishes Lita good luck in her match tonight.

Backstage: Hunter is still venting to Ric Flair when he calls Eric on the phone, he can't get through so he leaves a voicemail, Batista comes over and takes the phone out of his hand, he says he's stopping him from making a huge mistake. And says there is only 1 REAL WORLD CHAMPION! Hunter waits for him to say his name, but Batista leaves. OHHHHHHH!

Batista and Ric Flair come down to the ring, Triple H makes his own entrance. Now normally I would be pissed but this slow build angle RULES so far. During Triple H's entrance Lilian calls him "FORMER WORLD CHAMPION" So he drops his whole entrance gimmick and chases her through the fans.

Batista & Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho
The story of the match is Hunter is off his game so Benoit and Jericho beat the shit out of him, he keeps refusing to tag Batista cause he feels he needs to prove himself. During the break, Flair who gets an insane pop distracts the ref, allowing Batista to come from behind and hit the Spinebuster on Jericho. Evolution takes over, they work the mid-section along with various choke holds and cheating. Benoit's hot tag rules, he so turned it up since coming back into the main event scene. He hits the Triple Germans on Hunter, and Jericho hits the Lionsault. Benoit then connects with the diving headbutt. They then lock in the Walls/Crossface combo But Batista breaks it up with a spinebuster. He begins stomping Jericho in the corner, Hunter grabs a chair and nails Benoit in the back of the head for the DQ. He nails the ref Jack Doan with it too. Batista then holds Jericho up, but as Hunter swings Jericho ducks and he nails Batista with it. He also hits Jericho too. Triple H apologizes to Batista but then leaves on his own. HOLY SHIT! Benoit is laying in a pool of his blood in the corner. ***

Backstage: Trish is stretching when Lita comes over, Trish calls her the walking "Kiss of death" and makes jokes on whose career she plans on ending tonight. And Lita says hers, so she makes out with her.

Next Week: Randy Orton vs. Edge

WWE Woman's Championship: Trish Stratus vs. Lita
This is that "FAMOUS" woman's match, they would go back for years as the "MATCH" for woman's wrestling, it starts off sloppy but really picks up once Lita almost breaks her neck with that botched landing off the suicide dive, and when Trish hits Lita in the face with her face protector leading to Trish taking over. Trish works the neck and it's fun but way too short, Lita doesn't really sell it like at all. So that sucks, Lita also doesn't really get a comeback. They go right into this great near falls and counter sequence, with Trish trying all her cheating to win but Lita keeps kicking out. Minutes later, Lita hits the Twist of fate and the Moonsault for the win. Fun, but way too short especially of the best woman's feud in company history. Even the post-match celebration felt rushed, and we're even in Lita's hometown, normally they would milk that shit but it felt rushed. Still way better than I remembered it being, also the hot crowd definitely helped. **3/4

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
December 9th, 2004
Greenville, South Carolina

The Cabinet is in the ring, Amy is looking extra busty and oiled up tonight JBL says he stands for excellence that demands RESPECT! He says guys like Bret, Austin, Rock, Hogan all on their best days could never touch him, and they never had to face what he has to go through this Sunday in a Fatal 4 Way. JBL says individually when the lights were on bright they could not defeat him, and now they don't have to. He says this is a sick joke that he can lose the WWE Championship without being pinned. JBL blames this on Theodore Long and says this is proof that Affirmative Action has failed Suddenly, the lights go out. When they come back on Taker takes the fight to the Cabinet. JBL and OJ bail which leaves the Bashams' to get Chokeslammed.

#1 Contenders Cruiserweight Battle Royal
It's Kidman, Chavo, Nunzio, London, Akio, Funaki and that piece of shit Shannon Moore. The winner goes on to get a title match at Armageddon. Good storytelling early with London going after no one but Kidman, even when Kidman runs and attacks someone else London keeps attacking him. Akio dropkicks Nunzio off the top for an elimination. Kidman sneaks up behind London to toss him out, after having a nice exchange with Akio. Moore than eliminates Akio with a springboard dropkick, Funaki backdrops Moore out and as Chavo and Kidman are struggling on the ropes Funaki sneaks up behind them both and dumps them to the floor. LOOOOOOOL!

Backstage: Charlie and Jackie are arguing about Haas being TRASH! He tells her to stay in the back, he leaves and Josh Mathews asks him questions He says Jesus and Carlito are thugs and he's gonna take care of them, and as for Sunday he's gonna be partial to his fiance Jackie obviously.

WWE 24/7 HYPE!

Backstage: Miz says this Sunday he's gonna get all up in either Puder or Justice's butt. HOORAH!

During Jesus and Carlito's entrance referee Charles Robinson ejects Carlito from ringside so Carlito spits an apple in his face.

Street Fight: Jesus vs. Charlie Haas
Goes about 30 seconds until Carlito drags Dawn out, which distracts Haas allowing Jesus to punch Charlie in the back of the head with Cena's chain. Haas is KNOCKED OUT so the ref calls for the bell. LOL.

After the match; Dawn runs to check on Charlie, but so does Jackie. They lock eyes and just stare at one another.

Backstage: Justice says it doesn't matter if it's Mike and Dan, he's trying to put heads to beds and get that contract.

Backstage: Joy is doing her makeup when Luther comes up behind her, he says he's not gonna hurt her he just wants a favor. Go tell the Big Show that Luther is looking for him.

Backstage: JBL, OJ, and Amy are talking with T.Long. JBL tells him he's leaving and he's a piece of garbage, so Long says at Armageddon JBL has to go it solo and of any one of the Cabinet gets involved JBL will be stripped of the title. The Bashams come over and say they have a problem and there has been a security breach. They walk over to the parking lot, and JBL's limo has been robbed of all four tires.

Eddie Guererro comes down to the ring and he has one of JBL's tires. He rolls it to the ring. Eddie says he saw what someone did to his ride, and that sucks. Eddie says JBL probably thinks this isn't his lucky day, but he knows someone that can get him a deal on a set of wheels. He says it's such a great deal some could say it's a real STEAL! Eddie says he has some advice for him, save those tears for Armageddon. YOU HAVE MY WWE CHAMPIONSHIP! AND I'M TAKING IT BACK!

Tonight: The Entire Cabinet vs. Eddie/Taker/Booker

Backstage: Puder says he doesn't care who it is, and it doesn't matter if it's left or right.

Backstage: Torrie is taking pictures when Michaelle gives her some flowers, she reads the card. And they're from Kenzo. She calls him a joke so Hiroko attacks her. Hiroko rips her clothes off. Torrie chases her backstage and into Gorilla. She strips her into her bra and panties too, Torrie chases her around ringside until Kenzo and Rene come out to stop it, they corner Torrie until Rey and RVD make the save. T.Long comes out and says their match at Armageddon will happen tonight.

WWE Tag Team Championships: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) vs. Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio
This is a good time, IDK what, maybe the hot crowd or that Rene and Kenzo didn't completely suck. RVD actually connecting with kicks. It's fun. Team 4:20 dominate early cutting off everything until Rene shoves RVD off the top allowing the heels to take over. Kenzo is still basic on offense, Rene comes on to do...................THE FRENCH TICKLER! And Kenzo does it too on the apron Rey hot tag rules, he does all his usual stuff and the heels bump really well for it. Rey carries Kenzo for a bit until the match breaks down, good false finishes and team 4:20 double teams, while the heels try cheating to win. Rey schoolboys Kenzo and grabs RVD's arm for leverage to win. FACES CHEATING! Eddie should sue. **3/4

BLADE TRINITY HYPE!

Armageddon Hype
Cena Fights Jesus
Show vs. Team Angle Adjace
Tough Enough Boxing Contestent
Rey/RVD vs. Kenzo/Rene
Spike/Funaki
Dawn/Jackie
JBL/Eddie/Taker/Booker - WWE Championship

Al Snow comes out with Miz, Puder, and Justice. Justice Smith is eliminated, making it Puder vs. Miz, at Armageddon. Tonight's challenge is "jousting match" Puder wins 2 straight, so he wins.

RAW REBOUND!

Backstage: Booker is stretching with Michaelle, she says Eddie and Taker both send strong messages to JBL tonight. Booker says so has he, so he leaves. He comes back and is holding JBL's cowboy hat. He does some modifies it so he hair fits through the top.

Kurt Angle, cops and the rest of Team Angle adjace come out for the "KAI" The Big Show then comes out, cause he's from here apparently. Kurt says he knows what he's doing, he wants to hurt him and take him out of the match. Luther says there's one man on SD who wants Big Show more than anyone else...and it's Mark Jindrak! Jindrak is in shock and Luther and Kurt go to the floor.

Mark Jindrak (w/Luther Reigns & Kurt Angle) vs. The Big Show
Show beats the shit out of Jindrak until Kurt hits him with a chair for the DQ.

After the match; Jindrak brings the staps into to the ring, then from the floor Mark and Luther hold Show into the turnbuckles. Kurt then throws the steel steps into Show's back.

In a nuthouse somewhere Heidenreich is staring at a clock when Paul Heyman comes in. He says he brought John his medication. He takes the pills, he thanks Heyman for visiting. Heyman says it's time to come home and he's made arrangements to come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich says he likes it here and doesn't want to leave. UGH!

John Bradshaw Layfield, Orlando Jordan & The Basham Brothers (w/Amy Weber) vs. Eddie Guererro, Booker T & The Undertaker
Story of the match, is JBL being shit scared of his PPV match Sunday so he wants no parts of this match, so he pretty much sits back and allows his Cabinet to get destroyed and only tags in to pick his spots. Faces dominate early, they beat on both Bashams for a couple of minutes. JBL hits a desperation Clothesline from Hell on Eddie giving his stable control, JBL is great at cheating, OJ contributes nothing and the Basham's are the Bashams so they suck. Taker has a good hot tag where he cleans house on OJ and the Bashams. The match breaks down, with JBL trying to use the WWE title on Eddie but he ducks. It leads to the faces and JBL alone in the ring. Taker goes to Tombstone JBL but the Cabinet comes in to stop it, faces clean house again which leads to Booker hitting the Axe-Kick on OJ, Eddie Frog Splash him and Taker finishes OJ off with the Tombstone for the win. **1/4

After the match; Taker grabs the WWE Championship and places on the mat like drawing the line in the sand, so JBL backs up and leaves.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Armageddon
December 12th, 2004
Duluth, Georgia

WWE Tag Team Championships: Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko & FiFi)
I guess WWE's version of thanking them for doing such a great job on TV last week was to give them 18 FUCKING MINUTES! UGH! At least the champs are in matching Black & Yellow attire. Both teams go back and forth on offense until the heels isolate Rey which is a good time mostly due to Rey's bumping and mini-comebacks. Rey goes for a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor, but Kenzo grabs the ropes, so RVD kicks him in the head and Rey powerbombs him to the floor. RVD then hits the spinning legdrop on Rene over the barricades. Team 4:20 go back on offense, awesome chemistry, and double teams. Kenzo from the floor grabs RVD's leg tripping him up, which allows Rene to clothesline RVD turning the tide back into the heels corner. Kenzo/RVD is still an awful pairing, it goes about a minute until Rey gets the hot tag, but he immediately gets cut off. FUCK YEAH! Hiroko distracts the ref, so Torrie comes out and chases her to the back. Kinda weird that this keeps going, and it goes back into another heat segment on Rey. By, now it's clear they are having trouble filling time. RVD's 2nd hot tag it fine, the match breaks down. Rey hits a double 619 and RVD hits the Frog Splash for the win. The match was going fine and should have ended after the Torrie save, but they kept going and killed the crowd and men. ** - **1/4

Kurt Angle comes out with his armed officers. He says before he destroys the Big Show he thought he would treat them to a special KAI, against a man just like him. admired by millions, the very best at what he does, and threats his craft seriously...................WELCOME SANTA! Kurt says he knows Santa probably wants to get this over with so he can go back to the North Pole with Taz and the rest of the elveslmao Taz and Cole legit start laughing for a good 2 minutes Kurt says he works his ass off so he can spend all his time with his daughter, but when he gets home all she wants to do is write to Santa. Kurt says that's why he's making his daughter watch the PPV tonight. So she can see what her daddy does to her fat, pathetic hero.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Santa
Angle Slam, Ankle Lock ends it.

Tough Enough Video Package

Tough Enough Boxing Challange, because I refuse to call it the "Dixie Dog Fight": Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin
Garbage, Puder wins cause fan votes. SMH!

Backstage: Eddie and Booker are doing their usual back and forth on who will win tonight when THE UNDERTAKER WALKS UP ON BOTH MEN! And barges by.

The Basham Brothers vs. Charlie Haas & Hardcore Holly
KILL ME NOW! Bashams' win.

Street Fight for the United States Championship: John Cena vs. Jesus (w/Carlito Caribbean Cool)
OH FUCK! The spinner US title makes its debut. Cena beats the shit out of both Jesus for 8 minutes, Jesus gets maybe 1 offensive moves in, and that was hitting Cena in the Kidney with a kendo stick, to which Cena no-sells. Cena does shit and wins with the FU. After the match; Carlito goes to grab the chain, but Cena stops him and punches Carlito in the head with it. *1/2

Dawn Marie vs. Miss Jackie [Special Referee: Charlie Haas]
Thank god this is the last PPV of the year. Dawn wins after rolling up Jackie and grabbing the tights.

BUT WAIT!!!!!!! HAAS GETS ON THE MIC AND ADMITS HE AND DAWN ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR! HE CALLS OFF THEIR WEDDING! HAAS SAYS HE LOVES JACKIE BUT ISN'T IN LOVE WITH HER! HE CALLS HAVING SEX WITH HER IS LIKE HAVING SEX WITH A COLD WET FISH. HE SAYS DAWN IS HOT BUT ALSO CALLS HER A SLUT AND LEAVES Taz then sings the "End is here" cause that's the theme song

Backstage: JOY MAKES OUT WITH THE BIG SHOW FOR GOOD LUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!

Handicap Match: Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak vs. The Big Show
Show toys with all three of them early until Kurt hangs Show up on the top rope and Luther/Mark hit a double shoulder tackle taking him down, they work the lower back, kidney's and Ankle whatever they can do to keep Show grounded. Show originally sells it but as the match goes on he just stops and makes his own comeback, Kurt tries to bring the steps in but Show kicks them back into Kurt's face. SHOW THEN HITS THE MOTHERFUCKING F5 FOR THE WIN. BRUH! *1/2 - *3/4

Backstage: Funaki Smackdown Numba 1# Announcer interviews, #1 Contender for the Cruiserweight Championship. Funaki. Funaki asks Funki if he thinks he can win, Funaki says yes he thinks he can. Spike then comes over and asks if this is a joke, he says no one believes he can win. Funaki asks him Knock knock, Spike asks whos their?. Funkai says Armageddon........"ARM GEDDON THAT TITLE"

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley
Heel Spike is god awful, his offense is slow plodding and just boring, it basically sends the fans who have been bad and silent all night into a coma. He doesn't even take amazing bumps anymore, he's just another Create a Wrestler at this point. Funaki is decent but he's at his best when getting wrecked in a 2-minute squash. Funaki using Low Ki's Tree of Woe Double Stomp was the high point, minutes later connects with a Jackknife Pin for the upset win. *3/4

​

Fatal 4-Way for the WWE Championship: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T vs. Eddie Guererro vs. The Undertaker
JBL runs early, so the faces team up and pinball him around for a bit. Until, Booker and Eddie team up to get rid of Taker now. I love that JBL doesn't really get any offense in, he just tries to sneak in to get a quick pin but it keeps getting broken up. This is kinda slow like all 4 are in for the majority but its lots of punches and kicks, maybe a move and pin that gets broken up. It's also Taker in control for most of it, like it's built to have Taker look as strong as possible. They do that for a good 10 minutes. Match picks up huge in the 2nd half tho when Eddie pulls out a Ladder he hits Taker in the head with it, but in the ring, Booker gets his 2nd wind and cleans house with kicks. He hits the Axe-Kick on Eddie for two. Booker is pissed and the crowd is now semi-woke. JBL powerbombs Booker onto the Smackdown announce table, that doesn't break so JBL drops an elbow to break the table. Taker then comes over and Last Ride powerbombs JBL through the Spanish table..........................SO THAT LEAVES! Eddie and Taker Taker hits a Chokeslam but when he goes for the Last Ride, Eddie grabs the WWE title and nails Taker with it. He then heads up top and hits the Frog Splash, he then hits another Frog Splash but Taker power kicks out and sits up immediately. BRUHZ! WAT?!?!?!/ Why would you bury the man's finisher like that? Taker goes after Eddie but Eddie low blow him and grabs the Ladder, He rams it into Taker's midsection and hits him in the head with it. Eddie climbs it and hits the Frog Splash off the top of the ladder. Eddie hurts his knee on the landing, so he can't cover right away. So when he does cover JBL pulls the ref out of the ring. Eddie is now pissed and nails Taker with the Ladder again knocking him to the floor. Eddie then hits the three amigos but Booker breaks up the pin. He hits the Axe-Kick on JBL but Taker breaks up the pin. Taker cleans house with Chokeslams, but Heidenreich runs out and fights Taker off to the back. JBL then hits a desperation outta nowhere Clothesline from Hell on Booker T and covers for the win. **3/4

By FAR the worse PPV of 2004, and in my top 5 for worse PPV's of all time.

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Vacant
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Shelton Benjamin
WWE World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Eugene
WWE Women's Champion: Lita

WWE Monday Night RAW
December 13th, 2004
Huntsville, Alabama

Eric Bischoff comes down to the ring, he's holding the World Heavyweight Championship. Eric says he comes back from a 4-week vacation to this, new tag and woman's champion. And a Vacant World Title. He recaps the belt situation, saying Benoit made Edge tap out, and Edge pinned Benoit. However, since they both could cancel each other out, Triple H could also lay claim to the title. All three are standing by in the back, Hunter tells him to cut the crap, to beat the man you gotta beat the man. He says he didn't get pinned or submitted. And let's face it you award it to Benoit or Edge it's a matter of time before I beat them. Benoit gets in Hunters face saying the only thing he's proved lately is how to hit someone in the back of the head with a chair. Edge argues from behind and says they've blown their opportunities. Edge decks Benoit and they brawl off, Hunter then joins in and they all fight until security, refs, and agents break it up. Eric says he's sick of this already and re-books. Batista/Hunter vs. Benoit/Jericho and makes Edge/Orton. NEXT!

Edge vs. Randy Orton
This is really good, they keep some of the hatred from the past couple of weeks but turned it into a game of one-upmanship. And because this is their 4th singles match this year, IDK what counting tags, so they know each other's moves so we get a dope open minutes of feeling out stuff with both men taunting getting near falls. The intensity picks up after the break, with HEADLOCK RANDY! He goes to charge but Edge pulls the ref into his way so Orton puts the breaks on, that allows Edge to run away. Orton chases and catches Orton coming in with a baseball slide to the midsection. Orton is slow to get up, so Edge spears in him the ribs sending him into the barricades. Edge locks in a rear-naked choke with body scissors. Orton's arm drops twice, but he fights back and frees himself from the hold. Moments later they hit the double knockout clothesline spot, knocking both men down. Edge is up first and hits the dropkick, he goes up top for the crossbody but Orton dropkicks him in mid-air. FUCK YEAH! They have their awesome forearm fight that Orton wins, Orton misses his own crossbody, so Edge signals for the spear that Orton leapfrogs sending Edge into the turnbuckle. The match ends when Orton counters a DDT into the RKO and covers for the win. Good shit. this is their 2nd best match this year after the May match. It also leaves them 2-2. I can't wait for the tie-breaker now. ***1/4

Backstage: Ric Flair is talking with Triple H, Flair tells him he has to convince Eric that he is a movie star and the best wrestler on the planet. Hunter says if that doesn't work, well then he's gonna have to beat it into him. Batista says he wouldn't do that if he was him. Batista says he's The Game, so he should play the game. They have a rematch tonight, and Triple H is going to dominate and destroy them and show who the true World Champion is tonight. Batista walks off, and Hunter is smiling again.

Maria, Christy, and Melina are in the ring shooting t-shirts and shit when Snitsky comes out. He says don't be scared like everyone else on the RAW roster. He says they're just scared he will do to them what he did to Kane or worse Lita's baby. Gene says he just wants to have some fun with them. He asks Christy to show him how to work the gun, and once she's close, he chokes her. The others run and Snitsky says he's not having fun unless somebody's suffering. Lita comes out now with the mic, and asks if picking on women makes him feel like a big man. But she does have some good news, and KANE IS COMING BACK SOON! Snitsky chases Lita up the ramp, but a wall of fire comes up on the stage and Snitsky is freaked out.

Backstage: Christian is ranting to Tomko, he thinks people are laughing at him when Eugene comes over to him. He says Captain Charisma is a top 10 superhero of his. Eugene asks for his autograph when MICK FOLEY APPEARS! Eugene says Mick Foley is one of his four favorite wrestlers along with The Rock, Papa Shango, and Bobby Eaton. Christian yells that he can't handle this disrespect.

Backstage: Benoit barges into Eric's office, he says two years ago, Eric literally gave the belt to Triple H, and needs to know that he's not going to do that again. He worked his ass off 18 years to win the world title and hopes he doesn't give it away. Eric asks what he would suggest, and Benoit says a triple threat rematch, but Eric says he and Triple H are in that tag match later. Benoit says the option is easy unless Eric really still is just as spineless as everyone says he is.

Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho vs. Batista & Triple H (w/Ric Flair)
Shocker, this again rules like a motherfucker. Benoit/Hunter rules, Batista/Benoit rules, Batista/Jericho rules, Jericho/Hunter rules. Evolution isolates Jericho, working the neck. Tons of holds and choking. FUCK YEAH! Batista using the tag rope to choke Jericho from the floor. Jericho manages to fight back, he knows Flair off the apron so, FLAIR LOSES HIS SHIT HE GOES TO ATTACK! Jericho but Hunter pulls him to the floor and says they have a plan and it won't work if they get DQ'ed. Nice spot to take up to break, when we return Benoit is back after like 5 minutes. He hits Hunter with the triple German's but Flair distracts him up top, allowing Hunter to roll out of the way of the diving headbutt. Evololution now isolates Benoit, they target the back with their hard Irish whips, which Benoit is the master of taking nasty bumps off. Benoit gets the double boots up after Hunter tries a move off the top, leading to a dope Jericho hot tag. He cleans house on the heel, mainly Batista. Jericho connects with the Lionsault and sends Hunter and Flair to the floor again. Benoit connects with a Diving Headbutt to Batista and follows up with the Sharpshooter. H ran at him, so Benoit took him down into the Crossface. Batista pulled Benoit off and connects with the Spinebuster for the win. Hunter looks at Batista in shock. So in 2004, Orton and now Batista have pinned Benoit, I don't think Flair has unless it was in a tag match, but u doubt it. Good match. RAW 2004, i'm gonna miss you. ***1/2

Mick Foley comes down to the ring, Foley says even though he's known as a RAW guy he's gonna make the jump to Smackdown next week. Foley hypes up Tribute To The Troops and talks about how good it is............WHEN............................Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari come out onto the stage. Haasan says he used to be like Mick and blindly support this country and these troops, but then 9/11 happened. He says after that he was forced to open his eyes, and now he can see it's people like him who are the true victims, and the truth is no one in this building was a true patriot, they would not support a war that condones the unfair treatment of Arab-Americans. He says he is a prisoner in his own country. Foley says if it wasn't for America, he wouldn't have the freedom to say these things, Hassan calls the troops gutless cowards and infidels. Foley says NOW he's getting pissed off, because, throughout the last 200 years, men have died and fought so that he could shoot his mouth off. Daivari starts yelling things in Arabic, as Foley begins yelling things his family who are in the army have done to keep them safe. Muhammed yells at him for lecturing them on morality, and Foley challenges them to come to the ring, but they refuse and leave after Hassan says he won't fight a man he doesn't respect.

Lita/Trish match recap from last week.

Backstage: Todd Grisham interviews Trish Stratus, he asks her how he feels about losing. She says she should slap him for asking a stupid question, she says Lita had to almost kill herself to beat her. She tells Lita to enjoy it because she will win it back when she gets her rematch.

Backstage: Eric is talking to some THOT when Edge barges in, he pleads his case to Bischoff about how deserving the World Title tonight. Eric says he's just about made his final decision, and he's going to give Edge something he's never had before. Edge welcomes him back and walks off smiling.

Maven, Christian & Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene, William Regal & Shelton Benjamin
Welp the streak of good matches tonight has come to an end. This is mostly Eugene/Tomko and Maven. CAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WANT! They isolated Eugene for far too long, and Shelton had a fun hot tag. The match breaks down and Maven schoolboys Shelton for the win, he also had a hand full of the ropes for leverage. SMH! Poor Christian. **

Backstage: Eric is about to leave his office when Triple H comes in almost crying, Hunter pleads and begs him to make the right decision. He says he knows he and Eric have had their differences but that World Title is his life. Being world champion is all he has, and it's what's right for business. He calls RAW his show and World Champion what he is. He says Edge and Benoit are just wrestlers, but he's a household name as the World Champion. He says to put their issues aside and to do what's right for Raw and what's right for business. Eric says he'll take it into under consideration, and leaves.

BEST OF RAW! NEXT WEEK!

Eric Bischoff comes out with the World Title, he makes his way down to the ring, He brings out Edge, Benoit, and Triple H who comes out with Batista and Ric Flair. Eric says he said to come out alone, but Hunter says Evolution is a part of him, and when they succeed, he succeeds, and vice-versa. It doesn't matter who, together they have more wins than Benoit and Edge combined. Eric says that's a different approach to the one he had in his office moments ago. Eric says there won't be a rematch, and he's not handing the belt over to a man who's never even held it before. He turns to Triple H and says they'll test his theory about how a win for Evolution is a win for Triple H, and at New Year's Revolution they will have a match that will prove who deserves the World Championship...........................THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER! He says the belt will remain vacant until then and it will be Chris Benoit vs. Edge vs. Triple H vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton.

Eric leaves, so Flair goes after him ranting. Edge, Benoit, and Hunter argue which leads to a fight. The heels team up to take out Benoit but Jericho makes the save. Hunter bails, but from behind Orton comes out and they fight on the ramp. Orton rams Hunter's heads off the steps and rolls him back in. He has him set up for the RKO, but Batista attacks Orton. He hits Batista with the RKO, and Hunter rolls out to the floor to end Raw.

3 matches

 

[Deezy]

Daivari spoke Farsi

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Funaki

WWE Smackdown
December 16th, 2004
Gaylord Entertainment Center: Nashville, Tennessee

The ring is set up with red, white and blue confetti. OJ is in the ring and introduces JBL, who comes out on top of the limo with Amy Weber. FUCK YEAH! Balloons and confetti fall from the rafters. JBL says there is nothing like the triumphant return of a warrior. He says all things come in 3's the greatest WWE champion in WWE history defeated 3 of the greatest superstars in WWE history, etching his name in stone as the Champion of all Champions. He says even with a biased GM and ungrateful fans who won't even cheer his name. He asks those who bought a ticket because they thought they were gonna see a NEW WWE Champion to stand up so he can see them. He says he's gonna allows the fans one more chance to leave the Titans behind and be on a winning team and to live vicariously through him and chant his name, but everyone "SUCKS". He says like 2004, 2005 is going to be the year of JBL. Kurt Angle, Luther and Jindrak come down to the ring. Kurt gets right up in JBL's face, so JBL says he better be here to congratulate him. Kurt says HE is the greatest WWE champion of all time and says he beat Austin, Rock, Taker, Rikishi and Triple H in a HELL IN A CELL AT ARMAGEDDON 2000. Kurt says encase he forgot he invented the over the top championship celebration, BUCKO! Kurt keeps calling him bucko. So JBL gets mad. He yells at him to show him some respect. JBL says he lost a 3-1 match to the Big Show and how the mighty has fallen. Kurt says he can beat his ass without beating a sweat. BUCKO! Kurt challenges him to a WWE Championship match TONIGHT! JBL likes it, just not for tonight. He's partied all week long and is tired so he's taking the rest of the year off. GM Theodore Long comes out. And says he's the only one who decides who gets time off and books JBL vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Title tonight!

Billy Kidman & Akio vs. Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam
Rey is great as usual, and Akio/Kidman show early signs of great chemistry. The work over Rey's neck, but it's Rey so lol selling. RVD has a decent hot tag. He hits all his shit, including kicking Akio in the dick when he comes off the top cause RVD couldn't get high enough to get the midsection. The match breaks down, RVD stops the SSP and throws Rey onto Kidman who hits a 'Rana off the top, RVD follows up with the Frog Splash for the win. **1/2

Tonight: Tough Enough Winner

Torrie Willson comes out in her slutty Uncle Sam outfit, she hypes up Tribute To The Troops next week.

Heidenreich comes and chases Michael Cole off the set, he grabs a chair and a mic. He reads one of his shit poems. BLAH!

Backstage: OJ is walking when he bumps into Luther. They argue who's gonna win who's gonna win, and who does more for America. OJ tells Luther that JBL gives his employees of the Cabinet full health care. Luther is shocked that JBL's employees get full health care and a little upset that he doesn't, but says JBL will need all that health care when Kurt Angle beats him up tonight.

Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko & FiFi) vs. Booker T & Eddie Guererro
Decent Eddie/Booker showcase, they're clearly gearing them up for a tag title feud push so they get the majority of the offense in. Heels iso Booker but it's short and garbage, Eddie has a nice hot tag. Booker hits the Axe-Kick and Eddie finishes Kenzo off with the Frog Splash. **1/4

Backstage: JBL says he's happy the match is still on, he says he's overcome more obstacles than any champion in history. Amy says after tonight JBL is going overseas to represent Smackdown. and JBL is confused. She says the WWE Champion is the main event of the Tribute show next week, and it's great for his image. JBL says it's great to see the troops but it's a volunteer army and he didn't volunteer to see them. Carlito comes in, he says he just wants to talk. Carlito says they have a similar problem of GM Long. He notes Long forcing JBL to do a lot of bad things lately, and says if they don't solve this problem, eventually he'll get JBL just like Theodore Long got him, and after his match tonight, they should discuss it. JBL says that can be arranged, and Carlito says that's cool, and walks off.

CEAN MURKING JESUS FROM ARMAGEDDON IS SHOWN IN FULL!!!!!!

Al Snow is in the ring, he has a "Tough Enough" trophy in the ring, he brings out Miz and Puder. Al reads the result and Puder wins. SMH! Al announces that not only did he win the money and a contract, but a spot in the Royal Rumble!

Backstage: Kurt Angle is warming up, he says America needs a hero, someone they need to look up to. Not those THUG basketball players that attack fans, or those baseball players who break records but lie and cheat about it. Or even those NHL players that don't even show up to work. He says he's gonna be the Champion everyone can respect. Luther and Jindrak have his back. LUTHER SAYS HIS BACK IS STILL HURTING AND SAYS HEALTH CARE IS EXPENSIVE! Kurt questions him on it, and Luther says OJ.......Nothing. He'll talk about it later.

GM Theodore Long joins commentary, he books Taker/Heidenreich next week overseas.

Joy comes out dressed as one hot slutty Santa she hands out candy canes.

Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, and Mark Jindrak come down to the ring, so does JBL and his entire Cabinet. Joy hands JBL a candy cane, but JBL throws it away when Amy gives him the death stare. CATFIGHT! The woman have to be pulled apart so Theodore Long ejects everyone to the back except Champion and Challenger.

WWE Championship: Kurt Angle vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Kurt tries to wrestler to start, but once JBL turns it into a brawl, Kurt starts brawling too so it plays into JBL game. Lots of punches and kicks. With the occasional hold to slow things down, JBL switches from working the head to the arm, Kurt doesn't really sell it so it's was all kinda pointless. Kurt ducks the clothesline from hell into a backdrop and hits the Triple German's, STRAPS COME DOWN! But JBL counters the Angle Slam, but Kurt locks in the Ankle Lock. JBL kicks it off tho and kicks out of the Angle Slam, Kurt starts selling the arm again. he applies the Ankle Lock again, but The Cabinet comes down to distract. Luther and Jindrak come out to help and JBL taps, but OJ hits Kurt with the belt, but Kurt kicks out. He recovers almost immediately puts the Ankle Lock back on, but The Cabinet attacks for the DQ. **

Everyone brawls, until the Big Show, comes out and cleans house with Chokeslams and F5's. Cause he's the only one that can look legit in the main event.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Monday Night RAW "Best Of RAW"
December 20th, 2004
Stamford, Connecticut

Matches Shown

Wrestlemania XX - Christian vs. Chris Jericho
RAW March 29th, 2004 - Shelton Benjamin vs. Triple H
Taboo Tuesday - Gene Snitsky vs. Kane
Wrestlemania XX - Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H
RAW December 6th, 2004 - Lita vs. Trish Stratus
Survivor Series - Eight Man Tag Team Elimination Match: Randy Orton, Chis Jericho, Maven & Chris Benoit vs. Triple H, Edge, Snitsky & Batista

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WWE Smackdown "Tribute To The Troops"
December 23rd, 2004
Tikrit, Iraq

Booker T defeated Rene Dupree
The Undertaker defeated John Heidenreich via count-out
Hardcore Holly defeated Kenzo Suzuki
Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio Jr. defeated Kurt Angle & Luther Reigns


Two shows left

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Vacant
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Shelton Benjamin
WWE World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Eugene
WWE Women's Champion: Lita

WWE Monday Night RAW
December 27th, 2004
The Mississippi Coast Coliseum: Biloxi, Mississippi

Last RAW of the year

Eric Bischoff comes out onto the stage and says we are only 2 weeks away from New Year's Revolution, and that brings him to tonight. He says all 6 competitors will compete in the beat the clock challenge, the man who defeats his opponent will enter last into the Chamber. He brings out special guest timekeeper for tonight, Christy Hemme, and says he has more. Anyone who loses their match tonight will be replaced in the Chamber by whoever beats them, and one last thing, there's a special referee for the Chamber, who he'll announce later on.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Jericho vs. Christian (w/Tyson Tomko)
This is a good time as usual, sadly though they've dropped all the hatred from March and just turned it into the standard match. Granted they still have no problem stiffing the fuck out of one another. I like that Jericho keeps trying covers off everything, while Christian sure he wants to win, but also wears down Christian and runs down the clock. He works the back, Jericho half as sells it though so that sucked. Christian takes his backdrop bump but he takes it chest-first to the floor instead. Back from break, Jericho is making a 2nd comeback. Tomko tries to distract the ref so Jericho hits him with the springboard dropkick, the then locks in the Walls on Christian who taps out. **3/4

10:47 - Time to beat [Jericho's Time]

Backstage: Hunter is talking with Flair and Batista, Hunter keeps talking how this is crap and how concerned they both are, but Batista tells him HE isn't concerned. Hunter says he's not either and asks Batista if he's really not concerned. Batista says he's confident, and Hunter says he's confident too because he's The Game. He says he's so confident that he's got $100 that says he can beat his guy faster than Batista could beat his, and Batista accepts. Flair says they all know that tonight, Triple H is going to dominate and get the last draw in the Chamber, and they all know...and he looks at Batista, that at New Year's Revolution, the title goes to Triple H, and Batista nods and pats Hunter on the back.

Backstage: Maria interviews Randy Orton, she asks him his thoughts on being in the chamber. Orton calls it brutal, but excited. He says it's been 3 long months. In 2005 Randy Orton will walk out World Champion. And he says he doesn't care who his opponent is tonight. He is entering last in the chamber and will leave last out of the chamber with his World Title.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. Maven
This is cool, Maven showing off his new aggressive side and takes the fight to Orton, who bumps well for everything Maven does. Maven works the head and neck, it's decent. Orton has a fine comeback and hits the RKO for the win. **1/4

6:14 - Time to beat [Orton's Time]

Lita vs. Trish Stratus is added to New Year's Revolution

Lita vs. Molly Holly
Lita showcase for two minutes, she hits the snap DDT for the win.

After the match; Snitsky comes down to the ring, he chases her through the fans and to the back. Lita locks herself into a room. Snitsky says he just wants to play when Eric asks if he's having fun so he books Snitsky vs. Kane at New Years Revolution.

Rosey vs. Simon Dean
NOPE!

Beat The Clock Challenge: Edge vs. Eugene
Usual gameplan, Edge goes for quick covers and stuff, but Eugene won't stays down and ends up running out the clock. Edge fails to beat Orton's time, this just keeps going until Edge locks in the Edgucator for the win. **

Backstage: Eric is on the phone, he says he can't wait to see him and it' makes his big announcement that much better. Coach comes in and brings him a late Christmas gift. It's sunglasses just like Coaches. Eric takes it off and ask's him what he wants. He wants to know who was on the phone. Eric says it was the special ref and he will find out just like and when everyone else will. But he will give Coach this when they find out. Not one single person in the chamber will like it.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Benoit vs. Viscera
FUCK YEAH! it's Benoit vs. the bigger man, so he can just hurl his body around and take brutal bumps. Visc looks great here, he doesn't try to win the match just punish and beat down Benoit. At one point, Visc just puts all his weight on Benoit's back and begins cross-facing the shit out of him. Moments later Visc kills him off a Samoan Drop dropping all his weight onto Benoit's chest and back. Benoit hits a desperation German and locks in a modified version of the Crossface in the middle of the ring, and Visc taps. **3/4

5:45 - Time to Beat [Benoit's Time]

Stacy Keibler is in the ring, she says on behalf on the WWE family she thanks everyone for making 2004 a great year and voting her the WWE 2004 Babe of the year and hopes to top it in 2005. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari interrupt, they force her to leave as Daivari speaks his Farsi (shoutout @Deezy) Hassan calls this Holiday a Farsi and says the USA doesn't wish goodwill on all men, just those who they feel like. Not his Arab brothers. He talks about not being treated equal and being different. BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Daivari leaves and gets up in JR and King's face, blaming them when King says if he doesn't get out of his face he will put his fist in his FACE! Hassan comes over and shoves JR and gets in King's face.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Batista vs. Rhyno
Batista toys and fucks with Rhyno, clearly trying to run the clock. But once Rhyno starts putting up a fight. Batista gets pissed off and hits the Spinebuster followed by a Batista Bomb. He looks at the clock before picking up Rhyno again for a 2nd Batista Bomb for the win. **1/2

3:02 - Time to Beat [Batista's Time]

Tribute To The Troops Tribute video airs.

Backstage: Candice is talking to Eric about her Christmas, when Coach barges in and says his "Special Ref" is here. Eric says how does he know, and Coach says C'MON it's obvious. Hassan and Daivari come in and for a match with King and JR. Eric refuses but makes a debate for next week. OH THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THAT.

Backstage: Triple H is yelling at Flair, that Batista wasn't supposed to beat the clock when Batista comes in. He asks what the hell that was, and he says Rhyno pissed him off and he's sorry. Triple H asks why he has such a problem following a plan and says Rhyno pissing him off is no excuse for blowing their plan, but Batista says that now he's starting to piss him off. Ric Flair calms them down by repeatedly saying that they're Evolution, and Evolution comes first.

Benoit, Orton, Jericho, and Edge are all at ringside.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Triple H (w/Batista & Ric Flair) vs. Shelton Benjamin
FUCK YEAH! History and backstory. Triple H pear harbors Shelton as he enters the ring, he dominates and beats on Shelton. He locks in a sleeper and Shelton's arm drops 3 times as the clock hits 00 but Shelton's gets his foot onto the ropes at the same time. Hunter thinks he's won, but Earl Heber says NO! Hunter tries to plead and argue his point, which allows Shelton to hit the Stinger Splash/Roll Up pin but Hunter kicks out at two. Great spot. Shelton makes his comeback and hits the Dragon Whip kick for another two. Shelton would hit the T-Bone Suplex but Flair distracts the referee. Shelton knocks him off the apron but turns into the Pedigree and TRIPLE H FINALLY PINS SHELTON! **1/2

Eric Bischoff comes out onto the stage and introduces the special referee for the Elimination Chamber match.............HBK!................SHAWN MICHAELS! Everyone is pissed.

 

[Deezy]

Ugh that debate....."America, love it or leave it" :

Not since Steiner and Nowinski talked about the Iraq invasion has this company been so off the rails.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Funaki

WWE Smackdown
December 30th, 2004
New Orleans, Louisiana

Last Smackdown of the year

Backstage: GM Theodore Long welcomes us to Smackdown, and calls this night "Night Of Champions" where the Champions get to defend their titles against opponents of their choosing.

John Cena comes down to the ring and cuts a RAP! He now calls his fans the "CHAIN GANG" Cena says he doesn't care who comes out, cause they about to get spun like 22's. Rene comes out and accepts

WWE United States Championship: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree
Cena showcase for like 3 minutes, Rene barley gets any offense in and Cena hits the FU for the win.

Backstage: JBL and Amy are talking, Amy sees Joy and walks up to her. She calls her FAT! So Joy says she has a neck of a turkey. JBL puts a stop to her insults but Show comes in and tries to bail JBL into defending his WWE title against him tonight.

Kurt Angles comes out for this week's "KAI" Kurt says you people might not like JBL but he does, he sucks up to JBL and asks him to pick him for his WWE Championship match. But first, he calls out his opponent for tonight. Matt Striker

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Matt Striker
Angle hits him with the mic, he out-wrestles Matt and rakes the face busting Matt open. He then applies the Ankle Lock and Matt taps. These Kurt squashes are great.

Backstage: RVD and Rey are talking, they go over who they can challenge for the night when Booker and Eddie come over. He says they know for sure JBL won't pick them tonight, so he asks them to pick them for the Tag Team Titles tonight. Rey and Rob say they will think about it. Rey and Rob leave and Booker and Eddie argue over whose name will come first when they win.

Backstage: Daniel Puder arrives at the building he shakes everyone's and throws someone's bags on the floor. Hardcore comes over and says that's his bag and asks him what he's doing here. Puder says he trained 8 long weeks to be here, Hardcore laughs him off and says it took him 11 years to get here. Puder says sorry it took him that long Puder asks him if he's ever been in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA! And laughs at him. Puder says he already has a spot in the rumble and when he wins he will be main eventing Mania. Hardcore leaves saying he has a lot to learn.

Backstage: Theodore Long is talking to the same busty blonde thot from last week, when JBL, OJ, and Amy come in. JBL says he likes this Night of Champions thing and says he will pick his challenger at random. Amy pulls out a fish bowl. JBL says everyone name is on it and he will pick from it. JBL pulls out the name, he has a shocked look on his face. He says he should pick again. But, Long says if he really is a fighting champion he would stick to the first name he pulled out.

WWE Championship: John Bradshaw Layfield (w/Amy Weber & Orlando Jordan) vs. Shannon Moore
SWERVE! JBL kicks Moore in the face as he makes his entrance, he beats the shit out of him on the floor and rolls him into the ring. The bell rings and JBL hits the Powerbomb and 2 sick LARIATS! for the win.

After the match; JBL and Amy celebrate when Theodore Long comes down to the ring, he asks to see the bowl. JBL refuses and Amy leaves the ring. JBL says he should never challenge his integrity, and rants at him Amy tries to leave but Joy runs out and hits her in the head with the fishbowl. Long picks up some of the paper. AND THEY ALL SAY SHANNON MOORE! Long says JBL tried to play everyone, but he won't play him. JBL says he's got this all wrong and he didn't know anything about this, it's all OJ's plan. Long says tonight it was JBL's choice but at the Rumble, it's his choice and he picks Kurt Angle, Kurt comes down to the ring smiling. Kurt thanks him for doing the rights thing, and calls JBL BUCKO! again. Kurt says he can't believe JBL would pick on someone smaller than him, JBL looks at him and says he doesn't the same thing every week in his Invitational. Long says he didn't let him finish, it won't be a one on one match, it's a Triple Threat match. JBL vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show. Show comes down to the ring, everyone leaves and Show stands tall.

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Carlito, Carlito says he has a New Years Resolution that he wants the world to hear. He says his New Year's Resolution is to stand up to GM Long and to get him FIRED!

Heidenrich comes down to the ring alone, he says he is not afraid of The Undertaker. He says he cost Taker the WWE title twice, he says he's stared at death in the face and came back for more. He says at the Rumble it will be Taker's final resting place. GONG! Taker's voice comes on over the sound system, he says he will lay Heidenreich to rest at the Royal Rumble. Druids then bring a casket down to the ring. Heidenrich goes over to the casket, he touches it AND TAKER BUSTS OPEN THE CASKET! Heidenrich falls and looks scared.

Backstage: Josh Grisham is with Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Luther says he knows Rey and Rob will pick them. The Bashams come over and says they will win. They argue until Eddie/Booker come over and from catchphrases before leaving.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley
Same boring shit as the PPV match, Funaki wins.

Tribute To The Troops video package.

Backstage: Michelle is talking with the two random thots that have been here for like a month now, and we still don't know names. The blonde one points someone out, Michelle says she's been here a month and has been too nervous to talk to him. They go over and it's CENA! OH SHIT! Thots introduce themselves, one is called Rochelle, Loran. Michelle congratulates him on his match, they hit on him and asks to feel it, grab it, play with..................HE LETS THEM HOLD THE US TITLE.

RAW REBOUND!

Backstage: Rey and RVD announce that they picked Booker and Eddie as their challenges, and after they win they will challenge Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson LATER!

WWE Tag Team Championships: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T & Eddie Guererro
This gets a shit ton of time and good, Eddie/Rey get into their shit early and that rules. Booker/RVD also have a decent interaction. The challengers isolate Rey after he goes shoulder first into the ring post, Eddie brings back some of the arm work he did to Rey in their singles match earlier in the year Sadly, they don't really keep it all the way on working the arm, they switch between the arm and the back. I'm convinced Rey only sells when he faces Eddie. RVD has a fun coll hot tag, he hits all his spots and the champions clean house. RVD hits the Frog Splash onto Eddie but Booker breaks up the cover. The match breaks down again, and this time RVD hits the ring post shoulder first. The challengers again take over, it's kinda weird that Eddie did most of the work on the Rey heat, and Booker does most of the in-ring work for Rob's. Eddie tags in and hits the three amigos, but Rey breaks up the pin. Booker works the head for a bit, but RVD fights out, Rey gets the hot tag and cleans house. Booker goes for the Harlem Side-Kick but Rey ducks and Nick Patrick gets hit, Rey then hits the 619 onto Booker but Eddie shoves him off the top and he stumbles into the Axe-Kick from Booker. RVD takes out Booker, but Eddie covers, but no ref. Eddie looks around with everyone out but him. BUT HE STOPS TO THINK! HE'S DEBATING TO CHEAT! He grabs the title and says fuckit. he puts one of the titles on Rey and goes back to playing possum. Rey pleaded his case as Eddie taunts him..............BUT FOR TEH FIRST TIME THIS YEAR! EDDIE GETS CAUGHT! Nick forces him back up and Rey hits this awesome flash schoolboy and pins Eddie. After the match; Rey points and laughs saying he got Eddie tonight. IT'S HAPPENING! Good match, finally something positive to end this abortion of a show. ***