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Who Needs Hulkamania? A short-form TNA 2010

Sexpun T'Come

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Final Resolution 2010
Sunday, December 7, 2010
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL

Last PPV of the year, baby! Let's go! Right at the start, Miss Tessmacher comes out and proclaims that on the injured Mick's behalf, she ensured that all the matches are in order tonight.

Xplosion Pre-Show Match - Amazing Red d. Okada. I saw a theory once that NJPW sent Okada to TNA not only for character work, but also to help him appreciate what he had (as they knew Russo would treat him like garbage). With that in mind, this is how I'm using Okada from now on: Don't want him to get too hot, so he still gets that sort of appreciation, but don't misuse him in a way that kills the TNA/NJPW relationship.
  1. X Division Championship - Rob Van Dam (c) d. Max Buck d. Chris Sabin. RVD causes several situations where the two challengers are thrown to the outside - leaving the respective tag team partners to brawl for the assist! He could go for the crowd-pleasing high-flying offense he's known for, but he just... stands and mocks them! He doesn't even go for the 5-Star Frog Splash, instead pinning Sabin after a Rolling Thunder.
  2. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Mickie/ODB (c) vs. Madison/Angelina vs. Velvet/Tara - No Contest. The two bitter rivals Madison and Velvet get their barbs in at each other, and the match eventually devolves into an all-out brawl between the two, with Angelina and Tara also letting out their mutual frustration at each other for good measure. Mickie and ODB get an interview seg later in the show, with Mickie basically saying "This wasn't exactly how we wanted to defend the belts, but... sure?"
  3. Tag Team Championship - Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (c) d. Latin-American Xchange. Kurt gets physically involved a couple of times... hang on, aren't the MEM-aligned players supposed to be the faces? The crowd treats them that way, at least, but when Shelton scores the pin on Hernandez, Angle is nowhere to celebrate with them, having to take a call.
  4. AJ Styles d. Matt Morgan. Give Styles a win, because I've got plans for him. He's wearing darker clothing. Think his Aces and 8's-era Evil Ways run, but less mopey. The giant Blueprint is felled after a couple of forearms and a Pele.
  5. Feast or Fired - Mr. Anderson, Daniels, Bobby Fish, Shannon Moore d. Eric Young d. Samoa Joe d. James Storm d. Robert Roode d. Jeff Jarrett d. Bully Ray d. Adam Cole d. Kyle O'Reilly d. Jay Lethal d. Consequences Creed d. Rob Terry. Mr. Anderson gets the World Title shot, Daniels gets the X Division Title shot, Bobby Fish gets the Tag Team Title shot, and Shannon Moore is fired. (This is legit. I had nothing for this guy, even when Ink Inc was a thing.)
  6. Knockouts Championship - Daffney (c) d. Sarita. Because after a chaotic Feast or Fired match you just need some good, mid-paced wrestling. Daffney successfully beats off Taylor Wilde, who attempts to cheat on Sarita's behalf, and wins with her Daff-Knees.
  7. Television Championship - Devon (c) d. El Generico. Crowd is behind Generico over Devon, and naturally they boo when he's rolled over and mercilessly beaten on. But Devon isn't at all surprised with this... in fact, he has a sinister smile on his face. This is why I had to put this match on late.
  8. World Heavyweight Championship - Sting (c) d. D'Angelo Dinero. Just before this match, Tessmacher comes out with an announcement - special guest referee, Kevin Nash! He'll apparently call this match down the middle, but he... gives a fast count to Sting? This match is cut short by that fact, but Sting and Kevin Nash give each other the nod and beat on Pope! Then the rest of MEM come out and beat on Pope too! Then the Originals come out... and just stand and watch. Pope is bloodied after a good few baseball bat strikes, and Jarrett gets the last word. "Let that be a lesson! Stay out of the main event, kid!" The MEM pose to a chorus of boos as the PPV fades out.
(if you think that was a hell of a turn, you should see the next PPV...)
 

Chris

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That was good shit. I always liked that TNA really fired the people in the Feast or Fired shit :lmao
 

Sexpun T'Come

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From Final Resolution to Genesis
  • Let's start with the Main Event Mafia. They're centre of the ring, gloating and heeling it up like the Originals were on the Lockdown fallout but even more hated. Jarrett and Sting are the best promos of the bunch, so we have them do the talking. They introduce Miss Tessmacher, who they make "Head of Wrestling Operations representing MEM" and say that she'll do what's best for them. Because what's best for them is best for TNA.
  • Sting hand-picks his opponent for Genesis. Someone that can go and is fairly popular, but someone that won't be difficult to face. Yes, the title shot goes to none other than Jay Lethal.
  • Jarrett at one point has a match with Lethal in order to rough him up, but AJ Styles shows up to screw Jarrett and give Lethal the win (he gets a face reaction for this). This leads to the logical direction of Styles vs. Jarrett at Genesis.
  • We get a rare appearance of Okada on Impact - he's getting run over by Devon, though. This is the awkward time when the Originals and the MEM aren't fighting each other, so we're kind of low on opponents. Alex Shelley, though, is raring to go after MEM, and he gets a title shot... but only if he can last 5 minutes in the ring with Kevin Nash with one hand tied behind his back. He manages. Barely.
  • Cole and O'Reilly are next up to challenge WGTT, who are notably never seen performing the beatdowns that their fellow MEM members are.
  • As for the X Division... if Jay Lethal gets a title shot, why not give Consequences Creed a title shot? These are mostly framed as MEM picking deliberately weak opponents.
  • Now, Knockouts is where it gets interesting. Velvet and Madison are still proverbially teeth-gnashing at each other, and they get their match. One particularly memorable episode sees Velvet go into Madison's dressing room and burn all her TBP-branded gear, one by one.
  • As for the title feud... we're breaking up Kong/Hamada! Kong probably has to heal up at some point, so we have Angelina Love replacing her as Hamada's tag partner for a match against Wilde/Sarita. Hamada dominates, turns heel by laying out her tag partner, then goes off to find Daffney. They brawl, and the match is set for Genesis.
  • And the tag titles? I got nothing. I need more Knockouts. Fuck it, Wilde/Sarita earn another title shot.
  • Tessmacher at one point finds her office trashed, with a scrawled letter cursing Mick Foley. She wonders where Mick Foley even is, given that she and the other MEM "sent him home".
 

Sexpun T'Come

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Genesis 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL

Kick off 2011 with a bang.

Xplosion Pre-Show Match - Strong/Generico d. Latin-American Xchange. Fun thrown-together matches belong on the pre-show.
  1. Tag Team Championship - Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (c) d. Cole/O'Reilly. This goes really cleanly, actually, despite Kurt Angle's best efforts. "All these guys" chants break out near the end.
  2. Television Championship - Devon (c) d. Alex Shelley. Devon gets to keep. Nash is at ringside to ensure that Shelley has no chance.
  3. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Wilde d. Mickie/ODB (c). First title change since BFG! There's more potential for face teams rather than heel teams at the moment, so we put the titles on a heel team. This is a palate cleanser.
  4. Madison Rayne d. Velvet Sky (DQ). A fairly decent amount of them mutually hurting each other ends when Velvet pulls out her now-signature riding crop and starts whipping Madison with it until the ref calls for the bell. This feud continues...
  5. X Division Championship - Rob Van Dam (c) d. Consequences Creed. In between the last match and this one, we go backstage to Tessmacher finding more scrawled hatred towards Mick Foley and some damaged bits of set. The match itself is about RVD refusing to do the high flying stuff, using only his skilled kicks to beat down Creed and pin him.
  6. Knockouts Championship - Hamada d. Daffney (c). Hamada takes! She goes on a brutal offensive, not giving Daffney a chance to breathe and continuing to beat on her after the match is done.
  7. AJ Styles d. Jeff Jarrett. Styles debuts a new submission manoeuvre: the Calf Slicer. He meets mat wrestling with mat wrestling and dispatches Jarrett. After the match, he promos on the MEM over a prone JJ's body.
  8. World Heavyweight Championship - Sting (c) d. Jay Lethal. The detail of the match itself really isn't important, being a match where the face underdog does well but is overcome by heelish dirty play. What is important is that we get a full-MEM (sans Jarrett and WGTT) beatdown of Lethal like we saw at Final Resolution. The Originals come out to watch... And the two sides being heels, Sting offers to let them in so they can join the beatdown. They consider it, then... Samoa Joe attacks Sting! Daniels, Beer Money and Young clean up! The Originals are faces again! This is what I've been building up to!
 

Sexpun T'Come

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From Genesis to Unbreakable

I'm dropping Against All Odds as a PPV name, simply because the theming of it reached its logical conclusion with the 8-Card Stud tournament and it can't go any further.
  • The Originals open up the fallout show, and Joe and Storm are being badass faces again (but Daniels can't help but chastise certain people for not believing they were the good guys all along). They announce that both Joe and Beer Money are exercising their rematch clauses that have been untouched since BFG. February's going to be lit!
  • Notably, Daniels is waiving his rematch clause, because he knows he can get an X Division rematch any time he wants, and he wants to put the fear into RVD. RVD is probably out in the back and acting stoned like "OK bro". As it turns out, Amazing Red is the chosen victim opponent for RVD.
  • And continuing the theme of Originals vs. MEM rematches, we're getting Eric Young vs. Devon for the TV Title after he wins a six-man bout with the odds stacked against him!
  • The Knockouts front sees Hamada represented by a new face: Thea Trinidad! She's not Rosita here, but the manager for the tough Hamada, and talks on her behalf. Sadly this probably means the dream of LAX's Knockouts chapter is all but dead (although Hamada is half-Mexican, so maybe...?). Anyway, Daffney gets her rematch.
  • Speaking of rematches, Knockouts Tag Titles. Wilde/Sarita vs. Mickie/ODB, for like the tenth time.
  • On the intrigue of "who keeps trying to hunt down Mick Foley?", Tessmacher meets with the MEM and they confirm that no, it's nothing to do with any of them. The go-home show sees another scrawled letter. "I'll be back... Unbreakable"
  • On the Sky/Rayne story, Rayne rises up to the circumstances of Our Beef Can't Be Settled In A Simple Wrestling Match, so a no-DQ bout is booked!
  • And what about AJ Styles? He's trying to run through as many of the MEM as he can. Next stop: Kevin Nash!
 

Sexpun T'Come

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Unbreakable 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL

Xplosion Pre-Show Match - Lethal Consequences/D'Angelo Dinero d. Latin-American Xchange/Douglas Williams.
  1. X Division Championship - Rob Van Dam (c) d. Amazing Red. The flyer Red is worn down by RVD, who's deliberately playing it uncharacteristically slow. He smirks at the crowd rather than playing to them, and the highest risk he ever goes is a top-rope spin kick. Finally, he puts Red out of his misery with Rolling Thunder.
  2. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Wilde/Sarita (c) d. Mickie/ODB. Before this match, a video package with TNA President Dixie Carter comes on, where she announces Knockouts Knockdown, TNA's first ever all-women PPV, in March! Featuring the Knockouts you know and love as well as stars from all around the world! Naturally, commentary is hyped for this, and a rather routine rematch defence for Wilde/Sarita plays second fiddle.
  3. Television Championship - Eric Young d. Devon (c). Return of the Originals! Young and Devon have a really even battle that ends in the MEM man taking an elbow drop. Young once again becomes the only man to hold the belt under all of its names.
  4. No Disqualification - Madison Rayne d. Velvet Sky. One of the longer matches of the night. They go right at each other, with rope chokes, brass knuckles, riding crops, and Velvet even breaks out the ugly stick again! Madison takes it with a Rayne Drop on a steel chair.
  5. AJ Styles d. Kevin Nash. Edgy AJ over Big Sexy. He probably counters a Jackknife attempt into something cool at one point. Pele takes it. After this match, we go to the back, where a very concerned Christy Hemme is headed to Mick Foley's office. There's a man smashing things up, seemingly paranoid that Mick will be hiding somewhere! It's Jon Moxley! "WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THE BASTARD?" Mox shouts as we return to a bewildered JB, looking for an interview with the challenger in the next match.
  6. Knockouts Championship - Hamada (c) d. Daffney. Both women get pre-match interviews, to celebrate the announcement. Daffney says she plans to headline Knockouts Knockdown as champ, while Thea talks down the entire roster in comparison to Hamada. As for the match, Daffney has the momentum until Thea trips her on the outside, then Hamada is unstoppable. Hama-chan Cutter takes it.
  7. Tag Team Championship - Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team vs. Beer Money, Inc. - No Contest. WGTT and Beer Money battle hard, to the point that this is basically face/face. Kurt Angle eventually interferes, causing the match to be thrown out! Angle Slam to both Storm and Roode! And Benjamin and Haas are... arguing with Angle?! They didn't want his assist! They go to the back separately.
  8. World Heavyweight Championship - Sting (c) d. Samoa Joe. The Stinger wins this one after a (undetected by the ref) Jarrett guitar shot and a Scorpion Death Drop. But familiar music hits... and screaming female voices ring out! It's Jeff Hardy! He's back, he's clean(er), and he's gunning for Sting! The final image is a Hardy/Sting staredown as the feed fades out.
 

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Moxley getting his original planned debut :owens3
 

Sexpun T'Come

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From Unbreakable to Knockouts Knockdown
  • The men's championships will be defended this month on a special edition of Impact, carrying the Victory Road name.
  • We effectively already knew the match that would headline this show before the end of Unbreakable. So we let Jeff Hardy be his charismatic self and win tag team main events. Sober Jeff Hardy is better Jeff Hardy.
  • As for the tag team championship, Kurt Angle demands that both of Beer Money beat members of MEM on consecutive Impacts in order to get a title shot against WGTT again. Roode beats Jarrett and Storm beats Devon, but Angle tries to move the goalposts! Benjamin and Haas both come out and sternly say that the match is happening, no matter what Kurt thinks...
  • The TV title rematch happens on the fallout show, with Young keeping. He gets to pick his opponent for Victory Road, and he chooses Kevin Nash! There's an unsettled score there...
  • And the X Division? Daniels is enjoying trying to shake up RVD, because he knows that (1) Mr. Thursday Night is gone and the guy's running at half speed, and (2) he's got the advantage of the Feast or Fired title shot. He calls in a favour with, surprisingly enough, Mr. "never good enough to be an Original", Kazarian, to gun for the championship. He wins a qualifier, as do Chris Sabin and Roderick Strong.
  • Of course, we've got to prepare for the Knockouts PPV. It's announced that Wilde and Sarita will face a mystery new team, and an all-Knockouts Battle Royal on Impact will determine Hamada's opponent. The winner of the latter is... the returning monster! Awesome Kong!
  • Jon Moxley? He finds himself cutting a promo, introducing himself to the Impact Zone crowd (who meet him with "FOLEY! FOLEY!" chants), and plays up both his and Mick's histories of hardcore in a negative light. He says that so many wrestlers like him have had their lives destroyed by needless blood and extreme, and it's all Mick's fault. "If you have such a goddamn death wish, Foley, why broadcast it to the world so thousands of us have gotta suffer?!" He's going to plough through anyone who looks even mildly hardcore until Mick stops being a coward. His first opponent? The notoriously unsafe finisher 187, Homicide! (Yes, I shamelessly stole the idea for how Moxley would face Mick from a Rewriting the Book)
  • Bobby Fish? He's got a tag title shot in that briefcase of his, but he's struggling to find any partner, his douchebaggery having put off everyone else in the company. Mr. Anderson? Biding his time, occasionally showing up after matches to talk down the participants.
  • People are starting to talk in hushed breaths about AJ Styles as being the man to finish off Sting, with ex-teammate Eric Young leading the charge on trying to convince him to rejoin the Originals. He's not interested; he's working alone in taking down the MEM by himself...
Impact: Victory Road
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL

Xplosion Pre-Show Match - Cole/O'Reilly/Generico d. Okada/Bucks. We're just putting all six of these guys over even though they're not attached to a storyline.
  1. Television Championship - Eric Young (c) d. Kevin Nash. Part of the story here is "these guys used to be allies and were a big part of the history of the championship, who will triumph in this situation?" but part is also "can Young lift Nash up and hit his piledriver?" The answers to those questions are "EY" and "yes".
  2. Jon Moxley d. Homicide. A pre-match promo has him express his hatred of the Gringo Killa. It's a murderous move, as he calls it. He debuts a finisher of his own, the Paradigm Shift (double underhook DDT) on Homicide. It gets the win.
  3. X Division Championship - Rob Van Dam (c) d. Kazarian d. Roderick Strong d. Chris Sabin. Daniels has sufficiently rattled RVD that he has started using the Five Star Frog Splash to win matches again. Kazarian is the unfortunate recipient, but the guy who looks most like a star is Roderick Strong.
  4. AJ Styles d. Devon. It's another match of lone wolf AJ Styles dispatching an MEM guy with a Pele. Nothing really that special, especially since I really seem to like Devon booked as the weak link of a faction for some reason. After this match we get a quick look at Bobby Fish's search for a tag team partner should he choose to cash in some time soon. He's turned away by Jay Lethal, Rob Terry, Hernandez... Reap what you sow, Bobby.
  5. Tag Team Championship - Beer Money, Inc. d. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (c). We get the title change, and genuine shows of respect... followed by an enraged Kurt Angle coming in and giving Angle Slams to everyone! Even WGTT! Angle has turned against his own protegés!
  6. World Heavyweight Championship - Sting (c) d. Jeff Hardy. The planets seem to have aligned in this BTB, such that I can make "Sting vs. Jeff Hardy, Victory Road 2011" not synonymous with a drug-fuelled disaster. Sting does eventually fell the Charismatic Enigma, though, Hardy going limp after far too long in the Scorpion Deathlock. Who can stop Sting? Who?!

I've got plans to run the MEM story to Slammiversary and then no real plans after that, so I hope you enjoy the ride.
 

Sexpun T'Come

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Knockouts Knockdown 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL

Dixie Carter opens up the show by giving a speech that is partly praising the women of Impact, and partly self-congratulatory. Miss Tessmacher shows up to interrupt her! She basically calls Dixie out of touch and just the one who holds the money, before launching into her own promo about how this event will feature matches that settle long-running scores, not only with current Knockouts but women from around the world! All thought up by her, on the behalf of the Main Event Mafia, because what's good for MEM is good for TNA. Dixie not-so-subtly reminds her that she could fire her at the drop of a hat, which shuts Tessmacher up and sends her to the back. Another note: Christy Hemme will be ring announcer for this show, putting her voice to the best possible use for the first time! SoCal Val also joins as guest commentator.
  1. ODB d. LuFisto. We're gonna start off with straight up brawling between the shameless, all-out ODB and the visiting deathmatch specialist! Any one of these new women could be signed up by TNA following this PPV, as the commentators point out. I'd say they all will, because the Knockouts need the depth
  2. Katarina d. Mickie James. One of the ones who will definitely be signed is the former Katie Lea Burchill. She won't be Winter in this timeline, but she'll keep the "dark seductress" elements without being outright supernatural. And she stuns everyone by pinning a major star! She gently caresses the face of the prone Hardcore Country, as a show of intimidating... whatever it is she's doing.
  3. Madison Rayne d. Athena. Yes, that is the woman who would become Ember Moon in real life. She puts on a strong showing, in a match that will be outright face vs. face.
  4. World Showcase Elimination Match - Taryn Terrell (USA) d. Mari Apache (Mexico) d. Kaguya (Japan) d. Jessie McKay (Australia). Mari Apache and Mio Shirai are both here from AAA, and as such, they probably won't be regulars. Say this is part of the relationship, maybe Abyss comes back with an extra title reign as a way to explain why I haven't been using him for a while. American wins to pop the crowd, but the AAA Reina de Reinas takes her all the way (and carries her probably).
  5. Daffney d. Velvet Sky. Bound for Glory's Knockouts match returns, with Daffney again taking the win. Sorry, Velvet. I'll find a way to push you that makes sense... some day...
  6. Falls Count Anywhere - Tara d. Angelina Love. They feuded a while back, and they're given space to just... mercilessly beat on each other. Tara gets a win back, because she's genuinely talented and I've underpushed her. Finisher probably involves a Widow's Peak over hard floor.
  7. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Wilde/Sarita (c) d. The Blossom Twins. Yes, it's the Blossoms! They'd been in OVW for a while and were kayfabe fired from the company around this time, so I see no better time to bring them along. They put on a very respectable showing (and their greener parts are covered up by Sarita and Wilde working their asses off) but they ultimately are defeated. Wilde kicks them while they're down, just a bit, to establish them as faces.
  8. Knockouts Championship - Hamada (c) vs. Awesome Kong - No Contest. We started with strong women beating each other up, and end with strong women beating each other up. Kong ably shakes off Thea Trinidad's attempted interference, and barrels into a rope-hung Hamada so hard... that the (gimmicked) ropes are broken! The match has to be thrown out! How do you contain these two women when a ring can't contain them? I wonder what that has to do with the time of year, especially that April is soon...
 

Sexpun T'Come

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The Road to Lockdown 2011
  • Predictably, the Lethal Lockdown match this year will be Originals vs. MEM. The teams are Nash, Jarrett, Devon, and the returning Kurt Angle vs. Joe, Storm, Roode, and Daniels. RVD beats Eric Young in a non-title match to secure advantage for the heels.
  • Also predictably, the rematch of Kong/Hamada from Knockouts Knockdown will happen in the steel cage (as will all the matches at Lockdown). Less predictably, Thea Trinidad will be handcuffed to the cage!
  • Let's talk about the tag title scene, because there's a lot of intrigue in there. The rematch clause comes on the fallout for Knockouts Knockdown... but Miss Tessmacher comes out and announces that representatives of the MEM will attempt to win the titles back! Jeff Jarrett and Devon inject themselves into the match, but both WGTT and Beer Money are against them, and Jarrett eats the DWI. We're going to have Jarrett take the falls in most of the rest of the feud so he can leave to do Mexican stuff later this year and Ring Ka King in 2012.
  • Jon Moxley's anti-hardcore crusade continues, as he calls out the Monster Abyss! And Abyss has been away for a while, monstering it up in Mexico, like I said, so there's hype behind him. The promo in response is entirely this: "Whether you like it or not... I... will make you BLEED..."
  • Eric Young is the only Originals member actually defending his belt this PPV. His opponent? Jay Lethal! Let them cut unhinged promos at each other and let them both get cheers. It's fun!
  • Speaking of defending his belt, RVD reckons he can take on Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly in a gauntlet. Cocky bastard. We'll see if that's backed up.
  • Knockouts Tag Team Championship build starts with a singles match: Mickie James vs. Tara, which Tara wins. After the match, Mickie is met by Katarina again, who takes her away... somewhere? A couple of weeks later, a four-team number 1 contender's match is won by the new team of Katarina and Mickie (who is now wearing all black leather and seems glassy-eyed). They beat the Blossom Twins, Madison Rayne/Taryn Terrell, and Angelina Love/Daffney to take it. (This is going to be heel/heel, yes, but better that than to create transitional champions...)
  • There'll probably be a few unannounced matches too.
  • What of the World Heavyweight Championship scene? What of AJ Styles? He refuses any invitation from anyone to join their cause, but does win a multi-man match to determine the challenger to Sting. It's not even clear whose side he's on, except that he's against the MEM...
 

Sexpun T'Come

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Lockdown 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
US Bank Arena - Cincinnati, OH

Xplosion Pre-Show Steel Cage Match - Strong/Generico d. Generation Me d. Motor City Machine Guns d. Latin-American Xchange. Put on a barn-burner to get the crowd excited. Strong/Generico put a strong case for being close to the Tag Team Title scene.
Xplosion Pre-Show Steel Cage Match - Madison/Taryn/Athena d. Velvet/Tara/Jessie. Yes, I'm keeping Jessie McKay. And yes, I'm doing two pre-show matches, because I plan to expand Xplosion soon.
  1. Television Championship Steel Cage Match - Eric Young (c) d. Jay Lethal. EY hits a top-of-the-cage elbow drop to win this one! On the fallout show, Lethal probably gives a promo about how EY earned the Macho Man's respect with that move.
  2. Knockouts Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Match - Katarina/Mickie d. Wilde/Sarita (c). Katarina's antics even intimidate old-school heels like Wilde and Sarita. This only gets sub-5 minutes, given the dominant nature of the victory. It seems to be over when Mickie hits a tornado DDT, but she tags in Katarina so she can be the one to obtain the win and the belts...
  3. Steel Cage Match - Anderson/Morgan d. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team. Another unannounced match sees Anderson/Morgan stake a claim of their own to the Number 1 contendership to the tag team titles. They fight ultra-dirty against the former champs, isolating Haas. Even when he can tag Benjamin in, it isn't enough as the damage to Haas has been done and it's effectively 2-on-1 again. There's no kill like overkill as Anderson holds Benjamin up for multiple Carbon Footprints.
  4. X Division Championship Steel Cage Gauntlet Handicap Match - Rob Van Dam (c) d. Cole/O'Reilly. RVD overcomes Cole, but has to go up against the fresh O'Reilly... until he blasts his opponent with the title belt! Wasn't the belt outside the ring? That's Bobby Fish! He must have fed the belt in through the camera hole! That knocks KOR out cold, but RVD gives a Rolling Thunder just to be sure.
  5. Steel Cage Match - Jon Moxley d. Abyss. The Monster does indeed make Mox bleed, and one Paradigm Shift just won't keep him down. Two in a row, on the other hand... After the match, Mox grabs a FUCKING MIC and chastises Mick Foley for creating this monster... "This deranged man is being encouraged to destroy his own body, because of what you did!"
  6. Knockouts Championship Steel Cage Match - Awesome Kong d. Hamada (c). This is what happens when you remove any access for Hamada's manager and put them in the devastating steel cage. They power into each other, Hamada gets Implant Bustered, Kong is champ once again!
  7. Lethal Lockdown Match - The Originals (Joe/Storm/Roode/Daniels) d. Main Event Mafia (Nash/Devon/Jarrett/Angle). Angle and Joe are the last entrants for each team. Load of dumb weapon spots. This is the beginning of the end for MEM, following Joe giving Jarrett a Muscle Buster through a table. But if that wasn't decisive...
  8. World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match - AJ Styles d. Sting (c). Right at the start of this match, AJ comes out hooded, to no music, and then reveals himself as I Am hits! The old AJ is finally back, for this moment! And there's real fire in him, pretty much controlling the match from the beginning, and putting Sting away with a Styles Clash. After the match, the bloodied, beaten Originals come out to celebrate, and AJ looks at them skeptically... before shaking Joe's hand! They're good guys together, once again.
Hoo boy.
 

Chris

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I think I would have loved this show tbh ****1/2
 

Sexpun T'Come

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Favorite Wrestler velvetsky
From Lockdown to Sacrifice
  • We get a special announcement following Impact - that a new format TNA Xplosion will become a second show on Spike TV! See what happens when you don't destroy your goodwill with Monday Night Mistakes and having Russo on the booking team? It'll air for 1 hour on Tuesday nights, starting with the one after Sacrifice, and feature new matches, special segments to build character for the lower card, and maybe some recap too.
  • This announcement, however, is interrupted by the MEM! Jarrett tries to shake off the loss and proclaim they're still on top as the "masters of wrestling", until Daniels comes out, flanked by the other Originals. "More like, the masters of not taking the hint!" -Daniels. From the Originals' POV, Lockdown was a clear message to the MEM: "you're done; go away". And with Miss Tessmacher sent on a week's break by a Network executive and Mick Foley still MIA, the Network is going to be booking matches until she gets back. And they've already booked a series of matches at Sacrifice, where members of the MEM are fighting for their contracts as well as titles!
  • The first of these matches: Nash and Jarrett vs. Beer Money for the tag team titles. If the MEM members fail to win the belts, Nash will be fired and Jarrett will be shipped off to Mexico! In a shipping crate, at that!
  • Devon's in a similar place, set to face Eric Young for his TV Title once again. As for Bully Ray (we haven't seen him in a while, have we? He's been getting in better shape) he's the next target for Jon Moxley. Line of the night on one Impact goes to Moxley: "And this -get the tables- crap: do you know how it feels picking table splinters out your back the morning after? Of course you don't! Because you're so fat, you've always wrestled in a T-shirt!"
  • RVD, the only MEM member to hold a title, has had to sleep with one eye open, as Daniels could strike any minute. The next challenger for him and his X Division gold? None other than Alex Shelley!
  • Of course, AJ Styles vs. Sting for the top title. It's just a regular rematch, but it's Styles vs. Sting! What could be more TNA?
  • Knockouts action, now. Mickie and Katarina hold the tag team titles, but Katarina wants more. So she wins a number 1 contender's match to face Awesome Kong. I hate the idea of using Kong as a transitional champion, but she will be taking time off soon anyway...
  • The Tag Titles, for the record, are defended on the second Impact after Lockdown. Thea Trinidad is livid that Hamada isn't getting her rematch, so a freshly-returned Miss Tessmacher makes her lace up a pair of boots and have Hamada and Thea take on Katarina and Mickie! The two even heelier heels don't even let Hamada into the match.
  • We will get more Knockouts undercard feuds thanks to Xplosion, with Taryn Terrell kicking us off. She's playing the over-optimistic part a la ECW GM Tiffany until she gets tormented by Tara and her spider. On the advice of Angelina Love, she decides the right thing to do to bullies is to stand up to them - so she challenges Tara to a match!
  • Also announced for Sacrifice: a tag team turmoil match to determine the challengers to the tag champs at Slammiversary.
 

Sexpun T'Come

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Sacrifice 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL

Xplosion:
Anderson/Morgan
d. Dinero/Kazarian.
Jeff Hardy d. Douglas Williams d. Bobby Fish. We're going to bring the star power to the episode of Xplosion's re-debut. Kaz and Doug are the ones eating the pins.
  1. Tag Team Championship Number 1 Contender's Tag Team Turmoil Match - Strong/Cole d. Latin-American Xchange d. Generation Me d. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team d. Lethal Consequences d. Generico/O'Reilly. Order is reverse order of elimination. LAX are playing the heels obviously. They enter third and run through three face or face-ish teams in a row until Strong and Cole (bay bay) bring them down at last.
  2. Television Championship Title vs. Contract Match - Eric Young (c) d. Devon. The Main Event Mafia about to become the Fired Mafia (wheeze). These firings will be kayfabe for now in case I find something to do with the old guys. Anyway, Devon gets elbow dropped.
  3. Jon Moxley d. Bully Ray. Bully Ray comes out second and cuts a lengthy promo on Moxley, and for a moment appears to be turning face (talking about history in Philadelphia, in vague terms a la real life HardCORE Justice 2010) before Devon, batting away security trying to drag him out of the arena, comes back to beat on him! The last thing we hear from Devon is a cry of "OH MY BROTHER, TESTIFY" as he's escorted away. Mox drags his opponent to the ring, makes it quick and finishes it with the Paradigm Shift.
  4. Taryn Terrell d. Tara (DQ). Tara is just brutal to her opponent. Shamelessly brutal. After one rope-assisted choke too many, the referee throws this match out, which allows Tara to beat on Taryn more and bring out Poison while her opponent is forced to lie back powerlessly... But then Daffney comes in and makes the save for Taryn! Tara is chased to the back.
  5. Tag Team Championship No Disqualification Titles vs. Contracts Match - Beer Money, Inc. (c) d. Main Event Mafia (Nash/Jarrett). The shipping crate is already set up. Before the match can start, Tess comes out to announce that she's making a change and the match will be No DQ - distracting Bobby Roode enough for Jarrett to nail a guitar shot! This is mostly a wild brawl, with a few spots centering around the crate (think cage spots from KotM matches). DWI takes it, Jarrett gets nailed in the shipping crate, and Impact Zone security (Gunner and Murphy, in probably their only appearances unless you really want them) carries him away.
  6. Knockouts Championship - Katarina d. Awesome Kong (c). Mickie beats on Kong in the back, she's barely standing as she reaches the ring, and Katarina nails her finisher. This is to write Kong off TV for now.
  7. X Division Championship - Rob Van Dam (c) d. Alex Shelley. This is a hard-fought match that gets a decent bit of time. RVD keeps trying to close it out, busting out Rolling Thunder multiple times, just so he can be fresh if Daniels cashes in. But it just isn't working! RVD claims victory with the 5-Star Frog Splash, but it doesn't matter because...
  8. X Division Championship Feast or Fired Cash-In Match - Daniels d. Rob Van Dam (c). The Originals claim another belt! Daniels cashes in on the exhausted RVD and takes!
  9. World Heavyweight Championship - AJ Styles (c) d. Sting. It's a genuinely good match, where the legend is eventually outsped. Styles Clash finishes it. After the match, Samoa Joe comes out and offers his hand to AJ Styles. The Originals are a united front once more!
 

Sexpun T'Come

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From Sacrifice to Slammiversary
  • First things first, the addition of an extra hour of matches and segments in Xplosion means that there'll be a few more stories bubbling onward. Not all stories get on the PPV though. I've not really mentioned minor things but I'll mention more of them from now on.
  • Jeff Hardy makes an appearance on the fallout show! He comes out, glad to see the old guys swept away, and pops the crowd huge. Challenges AJ Styles to a nice, competitive face-on-face match at Slammiversary to celebrate the true heart of TNA! AJ accepts, of course.
  • Another thing that stakes a claim to be the true heart of TNA - the X Division! One of the last remaining members of the MEM, RVD, is here to demand his rematch with Daniels since he got cashed in on.
  • The other two members, Sting and Kurt Angle, are here to settle a score, but not for any title. Angle wants revenge against WGTT for the deadly crime of Being Faces. Maybe at one point Shelton and Angle get to promo on each other. That would be cool.
  • Meanwhile for the actual tag team titles, we know already that Roderick Strong and Adam Cole are set to face Beer Money.
  • Mr. Anderson stops Bobby Fish backstage at one point. He appreciates Fish's random acts of douchebaggery, even when he needs a tag team partner, and proposes an alliance of assholes. "We watch each other's backs... and you've got a 7-foot Blueprint for a tag team partner whenever you want to cash in that shot." This will become relevant.
  • Two weeks before Slammiversary. Miss Tessmacher is flapping her jaws about the indignities suffered by the MEM... until "BANG BANG!" Mick Foley is back!! "What are you doing here? I thought we left you on a truck, or something" -Tess. Foley's talked to the Network, and Tessmacher is banned from holding a non-wrestling role in the company now! So she'd best get training to wrestle, or she's gone!
  • Mick's about to make another announcement, in the ring, before Jon Moxley enters, his face full of... malicious glee. "There you are... The man who ruined so many lives with this own damn suicidal tendencies..." Basically, he riles up Foley into accepting his first match in a year and a half at Slammiversary! If Mox wins, all hardcore wrestling is banned from TNA forever... but in exchange, it's a No Holds Barred match!
  • The TV Championship is going to be defended on... the Internet? Yes, for the first time, the last dark match before the PPV - in which Eric Young defends his TV title against Homicide - will be uploaded on to TNA's YouTube channel to convince more people to buy the show.
  • As for Knockouts stories, Katarina and Mickie have to face ODB and Angelina Love for the titles on the go-home (but they win). Katarina has her evil eyes on Angelina, reckoning that the former Knockouts Champion has a dark side that she'd gain a lot from unleashing. And so, Angelina gets a title shot... with unspoken consequences if she loses.
  • There will be a Knockouts tag team match on the PPV though. As we set up on Sacrifice, we have Taryn Terrell and Daffney vs. Tara and her partner, Velvet Sky (who still hasn't gotten over losing to Daffney again and again). Velvet plays the sorority nasty to Tara's genuinely threatening adult workplace bully.
  • Amazing Red gets a few appearances under a mask as Sangriento. He lets out his inner heel, mostly working Xplosion and feuding with D'Angelo Dinero.
  • Samoa Joe vs. Mr. Anderson is a thing, by the way. Joe's probably still playing on the Originals angle in opposing this big shot interloper.
  • Gonna retroactively add another Knockouts match - a Lockbox Challenge! No title on the line, obviously, but there will be four winners with four boxes: a future Knockouts Championship shot, a future Knockouts Tag Team Championship shot, a an open contract for a non-title grudge match of your choice, and a mandatory striptease live on Impact! I'm really improving some terrible ideas here.
  • Pretty much the entire roster will get on the Slammiversary card, so let's get down to it...
 
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