Who Needs Hulkamania? A short-form TNA 2010

[Leon TrotSky]

The Road to Lockdown​

• Much like in real life, the main event of Lockdown is already set. Storm vs. Roode. In the Six. Sides. of Motherfucking. Steel. The two only meet once in the buildup. A contract signing that main events an Impact, and features security to hold both of them back so they don't tear each other apart. They just hate each other that much.
• MCMG vs. WGTT sounds like an initialism nightmare, but it's actually the match set for Lockdown following Shelton Benjamin's victory in a battle royal where the winner gets a title shot for their team.
• With all these new arrivals to the roster, the X Division playing field is looking quite crowded. The solution? An 8-man Xscape match! Strong relishes the challenge.
• We keep pushing Austin Aries, which is hard because there's so many guys I'd love to push. He's got an issue with D.O.C. who keeps fronting and acting like the very picture of a badass. Not like he's won a title or anything. Speaking of guys I'd love to push: Davey Boy Smith Jr.! He and Chavo have a problem with the Rock and Rave Infection. Looks like a six-man tag to me!
• Speaking of tag matches, Daniels and Kazarian vs. Jeff Hardy and Samoa Joe. I've been building hard to this one.
• I'll admit I had no idea where the Gail Kim storyline was supposed to end. So, might as well give Hamada a title shot! Because, you know, she goes against Kim's screed that the Knockouts Division below her is all just gimmicks and pretty faces. Though, Thea Trinidad goes on some pretty epic wars of words with Gail. I could make this a regular thing.
• And without Hamada/Thea, TnT have no super sensible challengers. Let's have a multi-woman, then. The Blossoms, Love/Rayne, and Sarita/Athena.
• What about the TV Title, you ask? First of all, the changes: Tony Nese -> Shelton Benjamin -> Tony Nese -> Charlie Haas -> Tony Nese -> Davey Boy Smith Jr. -> Jimmy Rave -> Chavo Guerrero Jr. -> D.O.C. -> Tony Nese. That's actually going to be part of Tony Nese's character. He's the type to take the TV Title as grim-faced serious business where it's a glorified sideshow.
• The TV Title will be defended at Lockdown... constantly. All members of the roster, male or female, are invited to a grand backstage showdown where referees will be stationed at every turn. Winner is the one holding the TV title at the end, and gets another huge cash prize!
• I almost forgot to put a Lethal Lockdown match in. Team KOR vs. A-Holes United, fuck it, why not? That's not a feud that's ever going to go away.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Lockdown 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Nashville Municipal Auditorium - Nashville, TN​

The city where it all began...

Xplosion:
Steel Cage Match - Daffney/Mickie d. The New Beautiful People. And Velvet loses again. I'm sorry.
Handicap Gauntlet Steel Cage Match - Jon Moxley d. Studio K (Joey/Guido). Sleaze and Italian Stereotype get fed to the very dangerous Mox. Kevin Nash isn't mad, he's just disappointed. Maybe the next few weeks have him do training montage segments with them. Harken back to the PCS.

YouTube Pre-Show:
Steel Cage Match - Mahabali Shera/Bollywood Boyz d. Sonjay Dutt/The Sheiks. 6 RKK guys because you've got to appeal to a new market.

1. Lethal Lockdown - Team KOR (O'Reilly/Cole/Generico/Chris Adonis) d. A-Holes United (Fish/Anderson/Morgan/Low Ki). Just a fun chaotic match to open up. Lethal Lockdown was the opener in real life too, strangely. Kyle O'Reilly is the one to beat Bobby Fish, finally, after weapon shots, tapping him out in a jujigatame.
2. Knockouts Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Match - TnT (c) d. Love/Rayne d. The Blossom Twins d. Sarita/Athena. A good, fun little match to give the women a run-out. Widow's Peak on Hannah (or is it Holly?) Blossom.
3. Steel Cage Match - Aries/Heritage d. D.O.C./Rock and Rave Infection. Everyone hits their finishers on Jimmy Rave (brainbuster - frog splash - running powerslam) as Davey Boy gets the pin. There's a bit of friction between him and Aries over stealing the pin... This could be resolved later, if this BTB were continuing...
4. X Division Championship Xscape - Roderick Strong (c) d. Homicide d. Douglas Williams d. Amazing Red d. Max Buck d. Jeremy Buck d. Jack Evans d. Consequences Creed. Spots include: Homicide destroying everyone; Amazing Red sacrificing a shot at victory to do something risky and flippy; Jack Evans sacrificing a shot at victory to do something risky and flippy; Bucks doing Bucks things on Doug Williams; and finally, Roderick Strong climbing over the cage and taking victory, where he's met by his badly-bruised but still standing friends Kyle O'Reilly and Adam Cole.
5. Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Match - Motor City Machine Guns (c) d. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team. One of the longer matches of the night, of course. Not much to say about this other than it's two great teams on the steel cage.
6. Knockouts Championship Steel Cage Match - Hamada d. Gail Kim (c). And the arc gets wrapped up as Hamada is celebrated by the face half of the Knockouts Division.
7. Steel Cage Match - Daniels/Kazarian d. Hardy/Joe. The match itself isn't that important (though it is really good, ending with a chop block/lariat combo to Hardy), compared to what comes afterwards. Hardy and Joe are left in the ring... and HARDY KICKS JOE IN THE NUTS! He's tired of being the good guy, the crowd-pleaser, and taking these losses! He's going to be who he knew he really was... Yes, the Antichrist is here!
8. Television Championship $100,000 Ultimate Backstage Brawl - Bully Ray wins. Okay, stick with me here. I put the listing for this match just before the main event as the last change of the night happens before the main event. We regularly get picture-in-pictures of the latest changes during the lulls in matches that are going on in the ring. I'm going to put a full list below, after the main event.
9. World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match - James Storm d. Robert Roode (c). This is it. This is what an entire half year of television has been leading up to. It's a blood feud (of course there is blood), it's intense, it's about 30 minutes... and it ends like it should have, with Storm finally claiming victory over the man who betrayed him and becoming a two-time World Heavyweight Champion. The camera is on Storm, in the entrance way, crimson-masked, looking back on his defeated foe... as we fade to black.

The Television Championship $100,000 Ultimate Backstage Brawl:

1. Tony Nese - starts the pre-show as champion.
2. Jay Lethal - pins Nese in a massive pileup during the pre-show.
3. Max Buck - pins Lethal in a massive pileup during the pre-show.
4. Joey Ryan - pins Max in a massive pileup during the pre-show.
5. Chris Adonis - pins Joey in the locker room during the pre-show match.
6. Matt Morgan - pins Adonis in the locker room during the pre-show match.
7. D'Angelo Dinero - pins Morgan in the locker room during the pre-show match.
8. Gurv Sihra - pins Pope while going to the back after his match.
9. Bobby Fish - bowls over Gurv and pins him in the back just before the Lethal Lockdown, which is only revealed after the fact.
10. Kyle O'Reilly - after submitting Fish, he gets to the back and finds out he's become TV Champion.
11. Bully Ray - quickly cracks KOR in the back with a kendo stick and pins him.
12. Charlie Haas - nutshots Bully Ray during the Knockouts Tag Team Championship match and pins him.
13. Guido Maritato - pins Haas while he's meditating on his back (don't ask).
14. Kevin Nash - apparently, part of Studio K training is being pinned by Nash whenever he wants. This happens after the KO Tag Team match.
15. Kazarian - knocks over Nash with brass knuckles and pins him during the Aries match.
16. Eric Young - pins Kazarian against a wall (yeah, don't ask) during the Aries match.
17. Suicide - holy shit, it's Suicide! (Well, it's Daniels.) This is a separate segment after the Aries match.
18. Eric Young - pins Suicide after the Aries match.
19. Curry Man - KONNNNICHIWA! The masked man from the Orient (Daniels again) pins Young.
20. Eric Young - just before the Xscape, Young gets the drop on Curry Man.
21. Awesome Kong - our first ever women's win! Kong's recently retired, yes, but she can still pin a guy.
22. Velvet Sky - ...and she can still take a hairspray shot. At least Velvet has singles gold now.
23. Taylor Wilde - just for the record, this is during the Knockouts title match.
24. Athena - after the celebrations, Athena attacks Wilde and pins her, and then she's pinned by...
25. ODB - BAM!
26. Joey Ryan - Ryan does it again, this time getting on top of ODB (they're the only two people who could do this spot). This is just before the semi-main.
27. Chris Sabin - briefcase shots are fair if you're exhausted from already having had a match.
28. Jay Lethal - clocks Sabin with brass knucks. He has not had a good day.
29. El Generico - takes the title and runs, but he finds himself on the entrance ramp, where he's caught by...
30. Bully Ray - ends up with the title. So yeah, Bully wins, and lets the main event happen without any distractions.

And that's it. Two years and four months of BTB is over. I see this as an appropriate place to finish, as right now TNA is in a better place than it was in our 2012. I might answer the call for descriptions of how I might book future events, if there's demand. But for now, this is...

-END-
Who needs Hulkamania? Not TNA.​

 

[Chris]

I don't think I've ever seen a BTB all the way through from start to finish.

You did good, Sky.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

From Lockdown to Sacrifice​

Don't expect this to go on very long, just trying to fix some booking that was really damaging given what we know about certain people.

• Storm's out on the fallout show, with the customary face celebration of having won the title. Roode will be absent for a good while, licking his wounds, so Storm exercises the right of the champion to choose his challenger. His choice? The man who put him out of action for months on end back in December! Jon Moxley! Of course, they've got unfinished business, and it'll be settled at Sacrifice.
• We set up a couple of things at Lockdown - and one of the primary ones was Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe. We use the advantage of "Joe getting cheers no matter whom he beats up" in order to let Hardy heel it up and actually sell this turn. Yes, he does use "Another Me" now.
• Meanwhile in the Knockouts: recent arrival Mercedes Martinez is gaining a reputation for beating faces and then refusing to stop, hitting Bull Runs again and again until they have to be stretchered off. Taylor Wilde is taken out in this way (I've got nothing for Taylor, I have to write her off before she leaves), as well as Taryn Terrell. She gets a Number 1 Contenders' match against Daffney, and gives her very much the same treatment, just with a steel chair (give Daffney some rest, she deserves it). So yeah, the new girl's getting a look in at Sacrifice, and it's going to be made No DQ to boot!
• In other Knockouts news, Gail Kim and Nicole Matthews have entered a bit of "anything you can do" rivalry. There's not enough room for two Canadians who can do the wrestle good around these parts. This is less setup for Sacrifice than it is setup for Slammiversary.
• In other other Knockouts news, TnT vs. the Blossom Twins. This is both the setup for a Sacrifice match and the setup for a Slammiversary match.
• The novelty's worn off with the TV title, let's be honest. Changes: Bully Ray -> Tony Nese -> Bully Ray -> Tony Nese -> D'Angelo Dinero -> Tony Nese -> Bully Ray. Bully Ray's booked in a match against Tony Nese, because you've got to capitalise on these being the main two guys.
• The X Division? Sonjay Dutt's the one to challenge Strong this time. Maybe he hurt KOR or something. I sure do love to hurt KOR to motivate his allies into a match, apparently.
• Speaking of his allies, KOR/Cole/Generico vs. Anderson/Morgan/Fish. The Final Battle. An added wrinkle: the guy who takes the fall is fired!
• And in other tag team news, MCMG vs. Studio K. Yes, really. The jobber team. This is entirely because of Joey Ryan cheating. Kevin Nash is like "Sure, whatever, whatever gets me that sweet manager money".
• One last match for the PPV, Austin Aries vs. Davey Boy Jr. Aries' ego can't take that he isn't the one getting all the wins. This is also true in real life. So much so, that he's successfully goaded into putting his briefcase on the line.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Sacrifice 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Impact Zone - Orlando, FL​

Xplosion:
2/3 Falls - Kim/Love/Rayne vs. Matthews/Sarita/Athena (No Contest at 1-1). This is a fairly quick match. Kim pins Athena, then a couple of minutes later Matthews pins Rayne, then the two - unable to stand each other - brawl to the back and the referee calls a double count-out.
Bollywood Boyz/Shera d. Jay Lethal/Rock and Rave Infection. Shera over Lethal. The Indian demographic will be pleased.

1. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - The Blossom Twins d. TnT (c). Maybe the Blossoms aren't ready, but it's more about the story of the losing team. In short, Tess takes the fall, Tara berates her... then Tess turns on Tara, turning face! She's finished with her mentor!
2. Television Championship - Bully Ray (c) vs. Tony Nese (Winner: Devon). Yes, you read it right. Nearly a year since he last showed up, and Bully Ray's "brotha" shows up to screw him over.
3. Tag Team Championship - Motor City Machine Guns (c) d. Studio K (DQ). Guido holds his own. Joey Ryan... does not. In short order, he has to resort to the low blow on Sabin, drawing the DQ. His partner does not approve... and neither does Kevin Nash, delivering a Jackknife to end Joey Ryan's association with the company. But that's not all...
4. Tag Team Championship Feast or Fired Cash-In Match - Daniels/Kazarian d. Motor City Machine Guns (c). ...because Daniels and Kazarian come out to bash Shelley with the briefcase and pin him as soon as they can. New champs!
5. Contract vs. Contract - KOR/Cole/Generico d. Morgan/Anderson/Fish. Yes, that's right. The 7-foot giant is the one who gets toppled. After the match, Morgan yells at his A-Holes United crew for not helping him... then Low Ki comes out and kicks him in the nuts. Anderson then Mic Checks him out of the company. See ya.
6. X Division Championship - Sonjay Dutt d. Roderick Strong (c). Morgan breaks off from security about ten minutes into this match to invade, bump the referee, deliver a Carbon Footprint to Strong and let him get stomped. Sonjay does reject Morgan though. Maybe there's two different classes of heel here.
7. Jeff Hardy d. Samoa Joe. Hardy brings the brutality to match with Joe's brutality. Notably, he doesn't go for the crowd-pleasing Swanton, instead repeatedly hitting the newly renamed Twist of Hate until Joe doesn't get up.
8. Knockouts Championship No Disqualification - Hamada (c) d. Mercedes Martinez. This is second only in terms of length and intensity to the World Title match. Weapons a-flyin', chairs a-swingin', Thea Trinidad getting involved and getting table bumped for her trouble. Finish is a Hama-chan Cutter through another table.
9. World Heavyweight Championship Feast or Fired Briefcase - Davey Boy Smith Jr. d. Austin Aries. Of course I risk pissing Aries off enough to walk out on the company by doing this. Let's just say we manage not to do it. For posterity's sake.
10. World Heavyweight Championship - James Storm (c) d. Jon Moxley. Pure brawl. Both men get colour. Just... a guy who is willing to murder his opponent vs. a guy who's spent far too much time being murdered, thank you very much. Last Call takes it around the 20 minutes mark. Finally, Storm gets a title defence!

TNA website, May 14, 2012...
Total Nonstop Action Wrestling has terminated the contract of Joey Ryan.

From the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, late May 2012...
Ryan's departure was down to a report of inappropriate advances on backstage interviewer/occasional ring announcer Christy Hemme. No word of what will happen with Studio K from now on.

(I'll be honest, I've got more names than I know what to do with. I mean, I can't even fit AJ Styles on to my cards. What is going on? I'll definitely be making some serious cuts.)

 

[Leon TrotSky]

The Road to Slammiversary​

Just looking to finish it in a more appropriate place. Finishing it at Sacrifice felt weird. This is going to be a fairly short update.

• Let's start with the matches that are effectively already decided. Devon vs. Bully Ray for the TV Title in Hardcore Warfare (Devon manages to stave off all the 24/7 jobbers) and Daniels/Kazarian vs. MCMG for the Tag Titles.
• Non-title matches effectively already decided: Tara vs. Tessmacher and Gail Kim vs. Nicole Matthews.
• World Title match: James Storm vs. ??? Yep, it hasn't been decided. A fatal four-way will be contested as the opening match on the PPV, featuring some of the big names past and present. Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles vs. Jon Moxley vs. the returning Abyss!! And it'll be No DQ! Remember Rhino at BFG 2005? That's what you'll have to do to win the title here.
• Knockouts Title happens as Velvet Sky discovers the way to get to a face champion: kill her face manager. She and Jessie attack Thea Trinidad and hospitalise her, which leads to a very pissed off Hamada. Yes, this is happening. There's more potentially top-level faces than there are heels.
• Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Blossoms vs. Sarita/Athena, because who else would it be?
• X Division Championship - Sonjay Dutt sides himself with A-Holes United, and that would of course pit him against Kyle O'Reilly's faction. He's facing El Generico at Slammiversary.
• The TNA Hall of Fame is announced, and Sting is the first inductee, as per real life.

I'll add some other stuff at the PPV

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Slammiversary X
Sunday, June 10, 2012
College Park Center - Arlington, TX​

Epic 10-years-of-history theming, only not having to skip over 2 years of bad. Sting's induction into the Hall of Fame happens at this show and not BFG, befitting this show's "historicity" theme. The inductor is someone who's a novelty due to never having signed with TNA before - also, he's got way more history with Sting. The Nature Boy, Ric Flair!

Xplosion is going to three matches rather than two.
Bollywood Boyz/Mickie James d. The Sheiks/Raisha Saeed. Fun fact: Mickie James feuded with Raisha in Ring Ka King. At one point, there was an Alissa Flash vs. Raisha Saeed match. Saeed was portrayed by Guido Maritato. All of that happened.
Mahabali Shera d. Guido Maritato. Speaking of Guido, IDK what to do with him. Joey Ryan was meant to be the Michaels but then he was a piece of shit.
Roderick Strong/Kyle O'Reilly/Adam Cole/Chris Adonis d. Mr. Anderson/Low Ki/Bobby Fish/Austin Aries. I put Aries in Team Asshole and no one will complain. He eats the pin here because fuck Austin Aries. He's gone after Destination X.

YouTube Pre-Show
Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team d. Generation Me. I've never had anything for the Bucks. They were just Guys Who Could Do Nice Flippy Things to me. Let them go soon, let them go to Japan on Okada's advice, they'll probably end up being much more open to returning in their prime, perhaps remaking TNA in their own image, "Elite" style???

1. World Heavyweight Championship Number 1 Contender No DQ - Jeff Hardy d. AJ Styles d. Abyss d. Jon Moxley. Jeff, being heel now, seems to be much more satisfied with using chair shots and the like, but the really good weapons are being kept for Hardcore Warfare later on. He nails AJ Styles with his nutshot leg drop thing over a chair, then gets a cheap pin with unnoticed feet on the ropes.
2. Gail Kim d. Nicole Matthews. The top dog of the Knockouts is confirmed (except no it isn't, neither is champion) as Gail Kim proves herself the better Canadian. Eat Defeat takes it.
3. X Division Championship - Sonjay Dutt (c) d. El Generico. Pre-show promos probably have Sonjay talking about Indian pride or some shit, something that would make him face to India but heel to America. Anyway, mask boy gets foot stomped.
4. Knockouts Tag Team Championship - Sarita/Athena d. Blossom Twins (c). Yeeeeah, they were just transitional champions to further Tara/Tess. Can anyone think of a good name for Sarita/Athena? I might use it if I'm ever delusional enough to continue this.
5. Television Championship Hardcore Warfare - Devon (c) d. Bully Ray. Pull out the creative weapons, let them go crazy on each other. Do the cheese grater moment from IRL Genesis 2012 (maybe with TAZ MY BALLS mixed in). Devon retains. After the match, he makes a big speech trying to retire the title...
6. Television Championship - Bully Ray d. Devon (c). But Bully Ray hits him in the nuts, pins him, and runs off! 24/7 baby! Here we go again!
7. Miss Tessmacher d. Tara. I noticed I've only got one face win on this show that isn't overturned, but it's a feel-good one. Tess does a tearful celebration of her first big win in her home state.
8. World Tag Team Championship - Bad Influence (c) d. Motor City Machine Guns. Give 'em a really good match that'll wow the fans so they won't give a shit about heels winning all the time.
9. Knockouts Championship - Velvet Sky d. Hamada (c). With Jessie McKay running interference on the outside, Hamada's doing this 1v2. It doesn't end well, with referee distractions and cheating leading Velvet to FINALLY WIN THE BIG ONE!! AT LAST I CAN END THIS BTB!!
10. World Heavyweight Championship - Jeff Hardy d. James Storm (c). Oh yeah, and this happens too, Jeff antichristing it up and snatching the belt. Davey Boy tries to cash in but Hardy beats him down.