In a world full of winners and losers, two men have risen above to bring you...
THE UNFORGIVEN PPV PREDICTION SHOW~!
Brought to you in absolutely no part by Godless cussin' liberals.
Morrison: Hi, I'm John Morrison, and I believe in the Matrix.
Miz: And I'm your chick magnet, The Miz! We like to give back to the UWF Universe that treats us so well. So when they ask us to do special pre-pay-per-view programmes to help build interest in the shows, we never say no. In fact, if they started actually asking us to do it instead of us having to break into the production truck every time, we wouldn't even ask to get paid.
Morrison: So you can see how much we really care.
Miz: Unlike our last pre-show, this will only be dedicated to our predictions about the card. That said, fans and supporters are more than welcome to send in their own predictions, even if they lack my cunning wit or John's divine intellect to back them up.
Morrison: Let's get started, we got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
Miz: We could literally take as long as we wan -
Morrison: Here we go!
THE UNFORGIVEN PPV PREDICTION SHOW~!
Brought to you in absolutely no part by Godless cussin' liberals.
Morrison: Hi, I'm John Morrison, and I believe in the Matrix.
Miz: And I'm your chick magnet, The Miz! We like to give back to the UWF Universe that treats us so well. So when they ask us to do special pre-pay-per-view programmes to help build interest in the shows, we never say no. In fact, if they started actually asking us to do it instead of us having to break into the production truck every time, we wouldn't even ask to get paid.
Morrison: So you can see how much we really care.
Miz: Unlike our last pre-show, this will only be dedicated to our predictions about the card. That said, fans and supporters are more than welcome to send in their own predictions, even if they lack my cunning wit or John's divine intellect to back them up.
Morrison: Let's get started, we got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
Miz: We could literally take as long as we wan -
Morrison: Here we go!
Poster Credit: EffectsofRaven
Banners: Rawisrey
Date: March 16th 2014
Venue: Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh PA
Theme Song:
Match Card:
UWF Global Championship:
Umaga v. Seth Rollins
Morrison: In the main event, we have the scenester man-barbie defending his newly won Global Championship agasint Umaga, who, as it turns out, speaks English. Regular English, too. How weird is that? Rollins, whose astrological sign is Taurus, is the kind of guy you wouldn't want to get stuck talking to at a party, because he'd probably end up drinking too much - in his case, a couple coolers - and telling you all about how him and Jimmy Jacobs once blew up a mail box when they were fifteen because "they were real rebels back then". That said, Trish still hasn't called Miz back. Soooo, Sethy poo for the win.
UWF Hardcore Championship
3 Stages of Hell (Stipulations to be determined)
AJ Styles(c) vs Chris Masters
Miz: Is that hair cut actually what AJ Styles has been walking around with for the past six months? Ohmyfrakkingosh. Buddy's been double fisting titles lately, and Chris, bless him, has been on a roll of his own. This might be the show stealer. Probably the sweatiest bout too. New champion? I think so. Look for a Matt Morgan return to spoil Uncle Creepy's night.
Tag Match
Degeneration X v. Kidd and Edge
Morrison: Does it even matter? These belts are ours come Mania anyway. I hate Canadians almost as much as seniors gross me out. Their youth may be an advantage, but the sexual tension with their groupies might be a big distraction too. Still, I'd bet that unless HHH can find away to screw Kidd out of another win, DX takes the loss here.
UWF Transatlantic Championship
John Cena v. Hulk Hogan
Miz: We're still calling this title the Transatlantic Championship? Really? Really? Reeaaaaaaaaalllly? Cena retains, remaining the pride off all birdies and Atlanteans.
UWF United States Championship
Fatal 4-Way
Shark Boy(c) vs Sami Callihan vs Bad News Barrett vs Willow
Morrison: What... a bunch... of freaky lookin' dudes. It's like Gus Vant Sant went all 2003 again and hired an alcoholic circus worker who looks like Kurt Cobain to dress up four strip-mall employees and is now having them fight each other for a title that symbolizes what America is really all about. Bad news gents, the foreigner wins here.
Miz: I don't know John, there's just something I like about Sami Callihan. He's so edgy, and the T.I.O.C. is consistently the most compelling group on Smackdown. I mean, they're so evil but their message is so righteous. Its like they're a show on AMC or something.
Morrison: They're just a bunch of egomaniacs... always talking about themselves.
Miz: Ya know, I've heard people say that about us before.
Morrison: What? That we spend lots of time talking about ourselves?
Miz: Yeah. That we spend lots of time talking about ourselves.
Morrison: Hmmm... interesting.
Winner Challenges UWF Champion at UWF WrestleMania III
Cody Rhodes vs. MVP
Miz: MVP seems like a pretty cool guy. Cody Rhodes freaks me out. A lot. Like a reydiculous amount. So I'm cheering for the uh... darker one. Matt Morgan will probably win it anyway, though.
Undertaker vs. Kane
Morrison: All I know is that I don't know who the masked guys are, but I'm dying to. I'm going to tevo to the end of this one - I'm a sucker for spoilers and I'll be damned if those villains don't show up again.
Miz: If its Big E, I'm gonna spit.
Winner Challenges UWF Global Champion at UWF WrestleMania III
Unsanctioned
Daniel Bryan v. Damien Sandow
Miz: Damien Sandow and his homeboys are creepy and virginish. Daniel Bryan is alright with me. I don't love the beard, and I'm thinking that maybe him and AJ could team up and go halfsies on a razor. Dare to dream, right? Bryan for the redemptive win here. Dean Ambrose, can, as the French say, suc ma poisson.
2 on 1 Handicap Match
One Percent vs Brock Lesnar w/Jeff Jarrett
Morrison: You know what's cooler than being rich? Being rich because of your good looks and incredible talent. Suck it MDDD, we're the better version of you, and them belts are ours. If Brock doesn't eat the both of you, consider yourself disrespectfully challenged to a Wrestlemania match. You heard it here first, folks.
European Championship Finals
Miz: While, as I said on Raw, I'm pretty sure I'm still in this thing, this lying picture says otherwise. The powers that be are going with it though, so I dunno, Ariess? Sure. Let's go with that.
Morrison: And that's that. And what a show it will be.
Miz: Thanks for tuning in. Until next time, we're us, and you're not.
Morrison: Be jealous.