UWF 2013: Royal Rumble Trashtalking

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Chris Dresdon

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Re: UWF Royal Rumble - Rumble Trashtalking

Eddie, having stood there patiently and listened to what everyone that has spoken since he stopped speaking has had to say, walks over to where Edge and his army are standing and raises his microphone to his mouth for the final time

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Trish, clearly you've forgotten your place, not only in this profession but in this world, so let me be the one to remind you. In this line of work, you are useful for eye candy and nothing else. No one wants to hear you speak, and no one wants to watch you wrestle. Even if that weren't the case and Smackdown still had a Vixens Division for you to defend that title you're carrying around, you'd be playing second fiddle to the real athletes, people like me.

And I'm not saying that just because of what I am, I'm also saying it because of who I am. The name Guerrero is synonymous with unmatched in-ring prowess, impeccable match psychology, and charisma that's impossible to ignore. I beat my opponents like dogs, you get on your hands and knees and bark like one. You are below me, Trish, I want you to remember that every time you raise a microphone to speak to me or even consider looking at me wrong.

If you want to step into my world and try to play my game, I have no problem treating you like an equal player and inflicting physical, mental, and emotional damage that will having you longing for the days of UCW when Stone Cold let you off easy with a Stunner. But you can't play my game, Trish, because you don't belong in the ring, you belong in a red light district.

There is a difference between depression and my frame of mind, depression is what you see when guys like Rhino bawl their eyes out on NXT because they don't feel like they're good enough. Or if you're looking for an example I haven't already used, depression is the realization that more people are doing DDP's yoga program than yours, has that sunk in yet?

I am not depressed and my state of frustration is not in any way tied to something as insignificant as the need for sexual release, as you suggested, and just in case that was an offer, I would but I'd rather dip my juevos in a fondu pot, it'd probably burn less.


The crowd responds with a mixed reaction, some appreciating the insult and others booing it as Eddie turns his back to the trio for a moment.

But the only thing more pathetic than these gaping girl parts with legs trying to be more than a valet and attempting to be taken seriously as a manager is the fact that Edge has become so insecure with himself and his ability to hold onto the European Championship or have any form of success on his own, that he hired her and this vato(Eddie points to Umaga).

Eddie turns to face the Samoan Bulldozer, not standing far from him at all as the two lock eyes.

If it weren't for the breast augmentation she had, your titties would be much bigger than Trish's, ese', I just thought you should know that. In terms of the managerial service you've sought, going from Rico to Armando Estrada to Trish is admittedly a trade-up, but if you ever feel froggy holmes, it'll still only take me three minutes to beat your ass, because I don't snap like a cigar and it takes a lot more than a taped thumb and a running Stinkface to keep me down.

Edge, I know that you think you've got this won, ese', but adding a set of breasts and Samoa Joe with face paint isn't going to tip the scale in your favor, it just takes you from the dominant competitor you make yourself out to be to a spineless gringo that needs to take shortcuts to survive, or in your case, someone to hold his title and someone to hold his manhood, I didn't assign names because I'm sure those roles are interchangeable.

You're overlooking the reality of what I've been saying all along, and that's the fact that despite your European Championship victory and your capturing of the number thirty spot, I beat you before all of that happened and I will beat you this Sunday with all of that going for you. These people forget things like that, they forget the temper tantrum you threw last year that led to your departure from Raw and the company, but I don't, vato. I remember it all.

This Rumble is my match to win and mine alone, holmes. If you win, Christian wins, Miz wins, you're Wrestlemania bound but if you don't, what do you really lose? You'll still main event your respective shows each week, you'll still make it onto the Wrestlemania card, and it'll be as if the loss never happened.

Me on the other hand, I have everything to lose. This is my one chance to shine in UWF, my one chance to prove that I'm not a mid-card act or lower. I can hang with the Steve Austins and the Jeff Hardys of this company, I can have a respectable championship reign, I can do ANYTHING.

The question is, what are any of you going to do to stop me? The answer, is nothing. From those of you with someone that can get involved on your behalf like Edge with Umaga to those of you that simply think you can outwrestle me, NO ONE can stop the well-deserved rise of Eduardo...Gory...Guerrero.


Eddie drops his microphone to the mat as "Coma White" begins to play again. Eddie takes one last look at all of the participants in the ring before exiting the ring, and as he heads up the ramp he makes eye contact with Rhino one last time from where he's standing, before stopping at the top of the ramp and looking at Robert Roode. After a moment, Eddie turns away from Roode and walks through the curtain.
 

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Re: UWF Royal Rumble - Rumble Trashtalking

Suddenly,we see Jeff Jarrett coming from the back laughing hysterically. He’s holding his midsection as if it’s hurting him as he tries to catch his breath and talk. At first, it’s of no use; the laughter is just uncontrollable at this time. Then, suddenly, he takes a deep breath and tries to say something.

Jeff Jarrett: Umaga? Really? Umaga? You go to put you a little super group together and you pick the Samoan Bullshitter as your anchor? Well, congratulations! You’ve dug up somebody with a career more dead than Eddies. No offense, Esse, but truth is truth. Well, at least you’ll have somebody more on your level to talk to. But if you think that Samoan stooge is gonna buy you a Rumble win, well, you’re more deluded than I thought! In fact, all any of us have to do is just throw that clown a bone and watch him chase his own tail!

Umaga is steaming in the ring, but Edge is playing cool and calculated.

Jeff Jarrett: And Trish? I see you pulled out the hair color, honey. Well, now you two can be a matching set; fake, incredibly dense and part of the most idiotic faction EVER! I mean, this makes the spirit squad look like gimmick gold! Whatcha gonna call this mess? Two Canadians and half a brain? How about, Rated PG for Pretty Gawdamn Stupid? Nah, if Vince is allowing this kinda crap, the brand and the company is lost already. If you think brining in a couple a boobs is gonna do anything but make you more irrelevant and make you look stupider than Sandy and his two ambiguously gay friends, well, I’m here with your wake up call! And when I say ‘couple a boobs’, I mean a matched set cause Umaga there has got Trish matched since they went in and got the silicone!

The crowd chuckles a little as Jarrett grins.

Jeff Jarrett: Oh, by the way, Trish, honey? I got somebody here that would like to say hello.

The camera widens the shot to show us none other than Karen Jarrett standing beside her man. She grins and starts in.

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Karen Jarrett: That’s right, Edge, you forgot about me, didn't you. Do you think trading that psycho, Victoria, for this old school reject is going to change anything? I am still the number one and, as far as I’m concerned, the ONLY contender for the vacant UWF Vixen’s title! Just because Victoria got cold feet doesn't mean you had to pull Trish outta retirement. Hell, how long has it been since you wrestled ANYTHING? Well, sweety, you may be Toronto, Canada’s finest import, but consider me homeland security as I kick your ass back to Canukastan!

Jeff steps in and places his arm carefully on her shoulder.

Jeff Jarrett: Now, sugah lumps, you mustn't get all riled up. You’re only letting them get to you.

Karen Jarrett pushes his hand off: I’m sorry, Jeff! I have no patience for this Canadian Cretin or his Toronto Tramp! She wants to come in here and make assumptions? Well, you know what happens when you assume, right baby? You get your Canadian ass kicked by Karen Freakin’ Jarrett!! I got a good mind ta come down there right now and…

Suddenly, she throws the microphone and starts off as if headed to the ring. Jeff barely catches her as she begins to flail and fight.

Jeff Jarrett: Now, whoa honey! Now is NOT the time for this fight! Just calm down…CALM DOWN!!

Finally, Jeff lets her go and she stops, looking at the floor; chest heaving. Jeff starts to step to her and say something, but she puts her hand up as if to say give her a minute. After a moment, Jeff goes on, a little angry.

Jeff Jarrett: I have to say that I have NEVER seen her this way. EDGE, tread lightly, my friend. You can cross me, sure. But you start messin’ with my honey and you got a fight! You know, I thought Sandy would be my main target at the Rumble. Well, ta hell with that!! You wanna grandstand and march in here with your little troop a clowns? Well, consider me, if ya didn’t already, your enemy number one! You better hope you aren’t there when my number comes up, cause the KING of the MOUNTAIN will be honored to be the man to destroy your Mania fantasies, once and for all!

Jarrett paces a bit.

Jeff Jarrett: You think this is about that bit a gold around your waste? Think again. I came here to clear the idiots outta Smackdown and, I’ll be damned if I stop before I’ve finally taken care of you and your little faction once and for all!! Uh uh, these fans deserve more than some carnival sideshow and the three amigos! YES? Edge? I’ve found my New Years Resolution. And that’s being a pain in your side the whole damn year!

The crowd erupts as Double J finishes.

Jeff Jarrett: And, if you think Umaga gives you ANY advantage…

Jarrett grins as a familiar theme song plays and the arena explodes.

[video=youtube;CKiLJa4pu6Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKiLJa4pu6Y[/video]

As Edge rolls his eyes in unison with Sandow, Alberto Del Rio steps out onto stage with his personal ring announcer, Ricardo. who then does what he does best.

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Señoras y señores: Nuestros fans UWF más apreciados!
El hijo favorito de todo México ha vuelto a corregir los errores y Smackdown clara de los Rudos que infligen!
Él es un gran estadista y erudito brillante!
Camina con las leyendas de esta y en las empresas!
Y se trata de vencer a los dos idiotas personalmente canadienses y que babuino cubierto, Umaga!
Él es la mitad de la facción de equipo de la etiqueta conocida como los Reyes de la Montaña!
Él es mi jefe y mi amigo!
Alllllllllllllllllllllberrrrrtttttttttttttoooooooo oooooooo Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


As Del Rio stands triumphantly on the stage, Ricardo holds his hands up like Vanna White show his boss to the world. Alberto just stares at Edge with his determined grin on his face.

Alberto Del Rio: My name is Alberto Del Rio, but your female friend already knows that…

He grins at her suggestively as Trish shakes her head assuring Edge she doesn’t know him.

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Alberto Del Rio: I am a man of few words, so I will keep this brief. I returned not to protect my friend, although I will do that, rest assured. I came because the fans cried out. The fans cried to me and begged for my return! The emails and tweets; they were so endearing. You see, they are tired of the way that Smackdown is being run and the Rudos that run it. So, I have come there to personally assure the fans that I will not leave again until Edge and his two miscreant friends as well as Mr. Sandow and his sanctimonious little faction are nothing more than a bad memory in the stain that is their short career! I especially assure you all that this beast, Umaga, will do nothing to change the fate of his master, Edge. They are all destined to fall to El Double J, Jeff Jarrett, the Queen of the Mountain, Karen Jarrett and…

Ricardo steps in and gives Edge a look of disdain as he announces.

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ALBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


Note: Sorry about ignoring the rest of you. No disrespect, but I thought Edge deserved a prime response from jarrett inc! lol!
 
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Re: UWF Royal Rumble - Robert Roode vs. Shawn Michaels

HBK is not happy by the things Robert Roode has said and makes HBK in a foul mood

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HBK: You know something, I'm getting really sick and tired of people who thinking they are better than what they actually are and I'm tired of you. You're not the IT FACTOR, you Robert Roode are a hyprocrite. You talk about how Triple H ruined your moment, but you STILL don't think anything of it when you attacked me from behind. Did you hear that between your thick skull. You attacked me from behind!! The only people in this world who do that are those who are gutless cowards that know that they can't fight a battle cleanly so they take every advantage possible and that's exactly what you did to me. I'm not complaining about it because you did something that has been done to me over and over and over again, but yet I still am here standing tall and looking you in the eye and calling you a coward! The thing that keeps pissing me off is you're only looking at the picture in your favor like you're some kind of big shot around here. Boy, I've shot bigger bucs than you and I managed to keep them down. I will do the same to you in three days!

A short "HBK" chant breaks out by the fans, but HBK quickly gets back to speaking

HBK: You keep phrasing you moment over and over again. You didn't attack me to send me back down to the bottom. You knew that you had to attack me to get me off the top of the ladder. You didn't want to see someone my age and I realize that I'm old and my best days have come by me already, but yet I still compete at a level higher than anyone in that dressing room. I can outperform anyone I face and I have done just that since I came here to UWF. All it is, is you're tired of being surpassed. I mean look at Randy Orton for example. He surpassed you on NXT and knocked you off that ladder and even off of NXT. Now the same thing is about to happen on Raw and this time it's Shawn Michaels whose going to knock you off any part of that ladder you're trying to climb up. I'm the oldest guy on Raw and you know that if you beat me it sends a message to everyone in the back. Only problem is my age will not be a factor come this Sunday at the Royal Rumble. Age is just a number, it's not an obstacle. I'm going to teach you a lesson that you deserve!

HBK lowers his microphone as Robert Roode still doesn't buy what HBK has to say

HBK: You know what I realized and it's funny I'm just thinking about it now. I mentioned that all you are doing is being a copycater of previous superstars who tried to take out HBK. Over the last dozen years or so where people have tried to break HBK down to a point of no return, many have tried and many have failed. From the likes of Dave Batista, John Morrison, Cody Rhodes, you name it. One guy though has always seemed to have my number and I give him all the credit in the world because he nearly got the job done and that man was Randy Orton. You see Randy tried to punt me into retirement. He delivered that devastating kick that even you felt and he put me on the shelf for months. But remember what I said, he nearly got the job done, but he actually didn't as I came back and I came back stronger than ever. The whole point to this is after all the years of hearing about people saying that their going to be the next big thing, or their going to be the IT FACTOR, or that they are the future Hall of Famer, out of all them it was Randy Orton who had the "IT FACTOR".

Robert Roode isn't happy by HBK's mentioning about Randy Orton

HBK: Randy always made of his word and guess what you're not Randy Orton. You pale in comparison to Randy Orton. I see a much weaker version of him and you and it's because if you wanted to actually put me out then you would have by now. You would have done even worse to Triple H than what you did. What all this is about is you trying find that set you lost when Randy Orton took them from you. And you want to go after the biggest dog in the yard and the man whose standing in your way at redemption. So from this day on, I will always be standing in your way. Win, lose, or draw I will beome your worst nightmare for as long as you stay on Raw. I told you, I'm tired of the games and I am ready to unleash out on you, but I know how much of a coward you are. You would leave this ring if I wanted to go at it now just like you did on Raw this past week. The only time you will want to is if someone has their back turned. Yeah a real hero to all these fans you are. I put your buddy James Storm down wit sweet chin music a few months back, I'm going to do the same this Sunday! The way I see it is you have your style and I have mine. At the Royal Rumble you find out personally what my style is all about!

HBK lowers his microphone and awaits a response from Robert Roode
 

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Royal Rumble: Sting(c) vs. Taz for the Extreme Championship

Sting appears on the titantron as the crowd responds with a mixed reaction.

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After several weeks of silence, I have finally returned to the place that I call home, NXT. I understand that I am returning dangerously close to time for the pay-per-view and haven't given myself or my opponent much time to talk about our upcoming match, something that I apologize for, and something that I will ensure Bradshaw and the members of his Cabinet pay for. But I will break my silence on that matter at another time, what's important is the pay-per-view I referred to and the match that's happening at that pay-per-view, I will be stepping into the ring to defend my Extreme Championship against none other than the "Human Suplex Machine" Taz.

Taz, when I was brutally attacked by Bradshaw and his cronies a few weeks ago, I wasn't sure what was going to happen as it pertained to the Extreme Championship match we were scheduled to have that night, and whether I would continue to be the holder of this belt or not. But I am happy to say that my faith in you was not in vain, and you did me proud old friend by refusing to win the championship that way and opting to wait until I was healed up and able to defend it. I wasn't sure how soon I was going to recover, in fact I wasn't given a timetable at all, but that didn't matter because I knew that, regardless of when, I would be back and what was meant to happen would happen, and it seems it's in the cards for me to be back in time for the Royal Rumble event, a destiny I am pleased in fulfilling since it will put me in the squared circle with a man that showed me the respect I've already spoken of, and a man that has fought alongside the "Purveyors of Poison" in this ongoing war.

Truly your comeback story is an inspiring tale, you've had nothing but success since returning to active competition and have deserved every bit of it, and I wish you well in the future but this is where I have to throw a monkey wrench into your plans, Taz. I love being the holder of this Extreme Championship, and I love representing this brand, me holding this championship means that none of the corrupt members of the Cabinet are holding it and NXT has some semblance of order and balance. Me holding this championship means justice prevailing, at least moving forward it does. I'll admit that I have made my mistakes in the past, but that time is over now, it is a time that is being replaced with the beginning of the time for change. It is time for me to rise up and truly be the light in the darkness, it is time for us to purvey this company with our medicinal poison, this anti-venom that will do away with the infection Bradshaw's corrupt ways has given it.

Not that you holding this championship would mean a distortion of that order and balance, I am not calling you corrupt at all, Taz, because clearly you have a good heart and are someone I can trust through and through. But as the leader of the Purveyors of Poison, as the man leading the charge against the evil currently plaguing NXT, it's best that I be the one holding it, and I will continue to hold it, make no mistake about it. This match that we're getting ready to have is going to be a mat classic with suplexes and submission holds aplenty, but when the referee counts three and the final bell rings, it'll be your shoulders pinned to the mat and my hand raised in victory. That's just the way it's got to be.
 

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Re: UWF Royal Rumble: World Heavyweight Championship - Jeff Hardy [c] vs. Dean Ambros

Jeff Hardy: You’ve just proven it. You don’t know me one little bit do you? Every analysis you have made about me in the last five minutes, since I mentioned people not knowing who I truly am, couldn’t have been farther from the mark. Your assumptions and maybe, some of them are wishful thoughts of how you feel I am going to be in this ring come Sunday are close to laughable at times. If we were all to listen to you, then Smackdown has been dominated by your good self, and that no-one else is even competiton. You have had a good month coming into this but what about the rest of the time. I’ll tell you shall I? The other times that you fail to mention that you have been in the mist of my entrances and the back of people’s minds, it has been me that picked up Smackdown Superstar three times in four months. Not that any of that online hoodoo matters to me that much but since you brought it up, since you care about it that much, that’s something to think about. But you can add the cold hard facts in there that since Summerslam, since our Money in the bank ladder much I have been chasing the World Heavyweight Championship… You have been chasing a man you haven’t been able to settle a score with in months, a man that is so cowardly he hides behind three other men at practically all times. Simply put whilst I have succeeded to become the hottest topic in the wrestling industry today, what have you really done? Huh? Gone back on your morals, and tagged up with one of the biggest reasons wrestling is losing its hard backing of loyal followers, and instead focusing more on the followers you have on Twitter and the merchandise you flog?

Ambrose looks insulted that Hardy would even think these to be his intentions, but Hardy continues.

What, am I to expect anything else? The notion I got at Summerslam was that you felt the exact same way as me about John Cena. He got title shot after title shot and people like us had to scrape the barrel for our opportunities. I remember you voicing your findings on that aspect just as loud as I did? So what’s changed? Because Cena certainly hasn’t. Maybe… maybe it’s the two of you, through all your differences looking to fight the common enemy? Seems to make sense but then, it doesn’t. It doesn’t because, just before you retained your tag titles on Smackdown, I, along with my creatures, and even the people that may not like Jeff Hardy, had to watch you and John Cena ‘compliment’ each other, talk about how you are the two best Smackdown have to offer, although neither have you have a victory against Jeff Hardy under their belts…. And talk about main eventing Wrestlemania in some sort of almost romantically sick pipe dream you have both developed. So yes Dean, if it’s not Cena then it’s you that has changed. You were moaning about how tough you had it as champion. “Poor Dean Ambrose; He gives a crap about no-one then wonders why the general manager has beef with himâ€. “Poor Dean Ambrose; He brings in no ratings then wonders why the top of the chain is being replaced with bonfide superstars of the game.†You called me a bitch earlier, nobody has bitched more than yourself. I’ve had it easy, I’ve had it nothing compared to you. Maybe you think that way because I made a triple threat match with John Cena and Edge look easy. I made it look comfortable. I comfortably put away a former two time world champion here, and a man that in other companies, other organizations, always had my number. This company, the UWF has been the proof that I need to show, that through my past, and my turbulent times, I am now in the peak of my career, and this is solidifying my beliefs. I haven’t had it easy. I had to give a rematch to the man you fully expect to win the Royal Rumble. But I beat him comfortably. The man that beat you at Survivor Series… Yes… Beat you…. Was next in line, and low and behold, I put him away as well.

Jeff looks around at the crowd all with smiles on their faces enjoying the confrontation these two have been having for the past thirty minutes or so.

Your words Dean… Are just that; Words. My words are backed up proof that I am indeed the top wrestler right now on Smackdown. Even if your hands are weapons in their own rights, they are not fast enough to even catch me at my slowest. You’ve evolved into a better competitor. I’ve evolved into a proven fighting champion. And through this I have always stayed true to myself. My face paint, it’s all expression of self. Whilst you become the second tier to the CeNation, I have contributed qas heavily as I can to please my peers, my fans, my creatures. In doing so. No ifs, no buts, no ‘your time was harder than my time’, no excuses…. I have become the most decorated champion, that UWF Smackdown has come across. You will walk out of the Royal Rumble as a tag team champion, and a tag team champion only. I will walk out of the Royal Rumble with my third successive World Heavyweight Championship defence…. Something not one person that has signed a blue contract can say they have ever come close to achieving. I am warning you this so please take heed in my warning. Don’t let your demons eat you up once again, when it works out you don’t get your own way. It’s not your fault, not my fault, not anybodies fault. It’s just that little twist of fate.

With that, Hardys music hits. A stare of at least twenty, twenty-five seconds tells a whole story in itself of what these men have to prove to each other. Jeff lifts his World championship high in the air, and as he does that he turns his back on Ambrose, mirroring what he had done when he first came out here. Ambrose only looks on as Hardy jumps through the ropes and makes his way to the back, to get ready for what will be an all out war.

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