I have but one question for you, are you ready? Perhaps you didn't understand, I said ARE....YOU...READY? Then, for the UWF faithful, and the Smarks reading around the world, FINALLY...for the first time since July 6th, it's time for a visit from the doctor himself. With such an influx of new creative writing, I had to be strategic about when I wrote another edition, and the time is now.
I've decided to go with reader suggestion and downsize the frequency of this article, and instead of writing one for Raw and a seperate one for Smackdown, I will write one that reviews both of them. Going forward, this article will go up every Sunday. On the week of a pay-per-view, the weekly edition will go up on Saturday, the day before the pay-per-view, with the review of said pay-per-view going up the day after, Monday. So that's when you can expect the Great American Bash edition, Monday the 23rd.
Since this particular edition has taken so long to get out, here's what this edition will entail: From The Vault and a few other surprises, I'm pushing the Pokemon stuff up an edition or two, so it may be on the GAB edition or the one after that, I haven't had time to write it and want to make it awesome. This week's From the Vault will be John Cena vs. Rick Rude since I used the Beer Money vs. Straight Edge Society match for Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels.
And since I didn't receive any negative feedback on my Lance Storm, Testing Ground continues, this week with a character of my own choosing, but you'll have to keep reading to find out who it is.
But before we get to all that, I would like to discuss the aforementioned influx of creative writing. After the Great American Bash, Lewbrication will be doing something he's calling, "Lewb's Super 8" where he will, in his own words, bring the octopus of excellence with views, reviews, and burning questions. So be on the lookout for that, I know I will.
This week also saw the return of Effective Thinking with EoR, where he gives a bit of insight regarding the Smackdown side of the Great American Bash. In some ways it tells the reader things they already knew, but hinting at things like certain matches being of monster quality and the future of the tag team division are enough to whet your appetite. While one article returned and another hyped its forthcoming debut, two articles did make their first appearance in UWF, MrFetter's Top 15 and Cwalker's Outside the Ropes.
MrFetter's Top 15 is kind of like the Power 25 ranking that WWE used to do, or still does idk, on their website where they weekly rank their talent based on what happened on the weekly programming. Fetter ranks everyone according to their momentum heading into this Sunday's pay-per-view, and I'm happy to say that yours truly cracks the top ten, with Sting sharing the number six spot with EoR's Samoa Joe and Stone Cold sitting at number one, baby! I'll admit I was surprised to be ranked number one, and even though Fetter has declared it unofficial, I consider it credible, and thank him for doing this.
Outside the Ropes is a bit of a retrospective piece, with the first edition being a ranking of Cwalker's ten favorite matches from his e-fedding career in terms of the trash talking sessions he had and the feuds and such. Once again I have a proud moment, as I rank in at both number nine and number one, and am heralded as Cwalker's favorite opponent. If that's not the most flattering compliment I've ever received in this line of work, it's one of them. And I just recently noticed there's a second edition ranking his favorite e-fed characters of all time, so definitely check that out.
All of this new literature has in some way inspired me, but I'm not a writer so I can't give the perspective on things someone like an EoR can, and Fetter did a good job with ranking everyone, so instead I will answer a question that I was left wondering the answer to following my reading of Outside the Ropes, what would my top ten be?
Obviously, I've had a lot of great matches with a lot of great opponents, so picking ten was insanely difficult, but here it goes. But first, the honorable mentions.
UCW RAW-Championship Battle Royal This was near the end of UCW's tenure, The Rock was the general manager of the Raw brand where I was portraying Joker Sting, and found myself a participant in a Battle Royal to crown the UCW Champion. This match included the likes of Aniking's Big Daddy V with Matt Striker, rawisrey's JBL, BronzyCoder's Sheamus, whoever was playing Edge at the time, Canadian Pothead's Austin Aries, and Itchweed's Robbie E with Cookie. I remember this match because of how much fun I had trash talking for it, Joker Sting is such a thrilling character to play, because I have a seemingly endless amount of creative freedom. In the end, it came down to me and JBL, with JBL coming out victorious. Closest I've come to a major title with Sting in one of the main feds.
CWF Elimination Chamber-R.E.M.E.D.Y.(c) vs. the New Age Outlaws for the CWF Tag Team Championships I can't for the life of me remember who was playing the New Age Outlaws, I want to say it was Lewb. This was my first true successful run as a tag team, and it was a team of my own creation, Eddie Guerrero and R-Truth with Jesse Ventura as the manager. It wouldn't have felt right for me to leave them off the list.
UWF Great American Bash-Stone Cold(c) vs. Christian for the UWF Championship You'll understand why I'm putting this match on this list later on. Yes it's my current feud, but it belongs up here, because it delivered the goods and is continuing the trend of powerful opponents I've had lately since before Backlash. Thank you Aniking for such an awesome trash talking session, and thank you Albo for repping me, and those that predicted me, because it was all this that made me re-read the effort I put forth, and I've learned not to doubt myself. So again, thank you all.
10. UWF Wednesday Night Raw-Stone Cold vs. D'Angelo Dinero I would've felt like a copycat putting Anderson/Austin on my list, if I did it wouldn't have been number ten, just so you know C. So I picked this one. It wasn't a pay-per-view match, there were no stipulations or title implications that I recall, just me and Cwalker going four trash talks each in a battle between friends. He beat me, by the way, I don't think I've ever beaten his Pope as Stone Cold.
9. CWA The Main Event-Mankind vs. Maven vs. Brian Kendrick vs. The Miz vs. Ted DiBiase, Jr. in an Ultimate X match This match was interesting because the winner would get a briefcase with a title shot, much like a Money in the Bank match, except this was an Ultimate X match. This was three months into my e-fedding career when I had to take a hiatus for basic training, so I won the match but they wrote it so Mankind suffered a shoulder injury. When I returned, I became part of the Team Dusty versus Team Cornette feud, and was awarded the title shot I was forced to surrender when I was injured, and would later cash in on Hayabusa, starting that feud. I wish I could remember who played who.
8. UCW Summerslam-Stone Cold(c) vs. Brian Pillman vs. Lance Storm vs. Christian vs. DH Smith vs. Rhino in an Extreme Elimination Chamber for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship This match was written by EoR, as he was booking iMPACT, and I remember it being a classic, both the match and the trash talking session. Pillman was the legendary Slim, Lance Storm was Canadian Pothead, Christian was LK, DH Smith was OJR, and Rhino was Justin. The match came down to me and DH Smith, where it was restarted, with me retaining my title in the end.
7. UCW Extreme Rules-Stone Cold vs. C.M. Punk(c) in a Fans Bring the Weapons Match for the World Heavyweight Championship This match was a lot of fun to trash talk for as it was my first crack at Itchweed, it was a shot at a main belt, it was a match we both wanted, and it was the dream match of Austin versus Punk being played out before everyone's eyes. It was a good feud and a great match, written by EoR, and I remember it fondly even if I didn't win the belt.
6. TIE. UWF Tuesday Night Raw-Stone Cold vs. Austin Aries & UWF Backlash-Stone Cold vs. Austin Aries(c) for the Undisputed Championship I couldn't pick one over the other, that's how much fun I had trash talking against Chriss. Yes this is from recently, but both were such great and memorable trash talking sessions that they deserve a spot on this list of my overall favorites in my career.
5. UWF Starrcade-Stone Cold(c) vs. Wade Barrett for the Undisputed Championship Don't get me wrong, I had a blast feuding with Lewb's Del Rio back in the day, but I had more fun going against his Wade Barrett, and this makes the third UWF match to make the all-time list, that should tell you how good this run has been in my opinion.
4. UCW Great American Bash-Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a Steel Cage match One of the most epic feuds of my entire career was my first one as Eddie Guerrero against Andrew's Rey Mysterio, that feud produced so much winning material and is still to this day one of the sessions I had the most fun trash talking for. I chose this over the Hell in a Cell session because it didn't have the clutter of Chavo Guerrero getting involved or the Eddie face turn that I still somewhat regret agreeing to. I am still waiting for something this to come around again. Six trash talks each, and that didn't feel difficult at all.
3. UCW Money in the Bank-Stone Cold vs. Batista(c) for the Television Championship My war with Aniking's Batista is well documented, We faced off in singles competition, tag competition, the four-on-four match that was on Cwalker's list, it was what can best be described as a war, but to me, the best part of it was our battle over the Television Championship. In the end, Aniking kept his belt, I think because Big Show got involved in the finish or something like that, but it was still a lot of fun trash talking.
2. UCW Wrestlemania IV-Stone Cold vs. The Rock Slim was about to retire, and there was one opponent he wanted to get a piece of on his way out, yours truly. Now, Slim and I had faced off before, he'd even faced my Austin before, but I'd never faced his Rock before. This is the match he wanted, and it's the match he got. Did we do insane trash talking numbers? No, but it was a memorable feud, a great trash talking session, and an awesome match. Slim won and didn't stay retired, but that doesn't make this any less special.
1. CWA One Night Stand-Mankind vs. Sting There's only two complaints I have regarding this situation, number one being the trash talking stopped before the entire story was told, number two being the fact that the event never happened and we didn't get our match. Still, it was the most epic trash talking session I have ever been a part of. Ten trash talks each, and we were shooting for fifteen, and not once did the material get stale or repetitive. So much awesome fun, and it was against the opponent I'd wanted since I met him, EoR. Match or no match, trash talking that many times was worth it.
Hope you guys enjoyed the list, I had fun compiling it, even though it was a bit challenging. One last thing before we dive right in, you'll notice this article along with the other articles now has an official home, the UWF Interactive sub-forum! Now this won't clutter the main stuff, it'll be easier to find, AND you can go back and read past editions, that's awesome! Thank you so much, guys!
But wait, that's NOT the last thing, for you see I have another surprise up my sleeve. This week I'm debuting another new feature to this fine, fine column. At the moment it doesn't have a name but basically I will be interviewing you guys on various topics pertaining to UWF and such. My first guest is none other than the man that recently came out of retirement and made his return to e-fedding, Slim!
INTERVIEW WITH SLIM
Q: You've retired numerous times but something keeps bringing you back, what was it that convinced you, "Alright, I've gotta come out of retirement, I've gotta have a run in UWF".
A: It was just this itch. After reprising the role of The Rock against CWalker's Pope I was like... man this is still fun. This is still good. I think I can still hang with the big timers. I feel as long as I can hang with them then I can still come back. Once I feel the game has passed me over then it will definitely be time to hang up.
Q: What are your overall goals in UWF as far as championships?
A: One goal and one goal only... another world title added to my resume. Just cannot have enough of those. But to add one more... a completely awesome feud. A feud that is capable of catapulting someone to the big times.
Q: Is there anyone in particular you want to work with right now and why?
A: Right now I don't know. I'm like the new guy right now walking around like hey who are you, who are these guys. I feel a little out of place actually. I'm like the old guy looking to come back and make a splash and you have all these new up and comers that have taken the game to these heights. I have to see if I can hang with them. So many opportunities.
Q: How long do you think your tenure in UWF is going to be?
A: How long? I doubt it'll be two years like my Rock tenure. But I'm sure I'm going to be around for quite a while. I have no plans of leaving anytime soon.
Q:Describe your feelings regarding being thrown into a feud with a big name like Rey right off the bat.
A: I love it. When you return you can either do one of two things. Either try to ease your way back which could take forever or you jump in right off the bat against one of the top guys. Reminds me of Brock Lesnar. His first fight in the UFC wasn't against a gate keeper or anything. It was against a former heavyweight champion needing the win, a world class grappler in Mir. Its like you can't say... I'ma take it easy and just ease my way back into this increasing my style little by little. Oh no instead you have to come in with your best. You have to come in with a gameplan and push yourself right off the bat. Understanding the challenge that lies ahead... its just... well competition. And competition is what keeps me going.
Q: Any predictions for the Great American Bash?
A: Predictions... hmmm I'm hoping for a win. I know the show is gonna be banging for sure.
Q: Now that you're in UWF, you're now both a TT'er and an RP'er, as you compete for ACW as well. Tell us about your former character, Zasalamel.
A: Zasalamel was just something I wanted to do to sort of continue where I left off when I had Phoenix before she became owner because I had plenty of storyline ideas but then I decided to take him on his own route. Plus he was a clown so it kinda helped in the randomness area. It was one of those interesting characters.
Q: What inspired the character and the name?
A: Honestly the name came from Soul Calibur III. Best fighting game ever made on the PS2. Years later and I still can sit there and play it longer than most other games. But yeah nothing deep... just a character name that was off the wall and would have been cool to use.
Q: Now tell us about your current character, Toyota Chelios?
A: Heh Toyota Chelios... there is not a thing normal about him. Not at all. He was merely created just for complete and utter random fun. Toyota Chelios is just some guy that is completely random and designed to make people laugh and not take things so seriously. Just to enjoy yourself, have a good time, just all about fun. I mean I did a RP about Cheez-Its. How often do you see that? Heh. Its how you do it.
Q: What inspired the character and the name?
A: I wanted a first name completely out of the ordinary and whats better than Toyota. Chelios... well that came from Crank.
Q: It's no secret that you aren't a big fan of The Hoov's Rock, why is that and does it have to do with you wishing to be the one and only Rock?
A: Haha... yeah I'm not a big fan of his version. But it doesn't have to do with me being the one and only nah. My thing is if you know someone that had an iconic run as a character you don't look to pick up that character unless you know you can do it justice. And doing it justice means you can make the character your own. His version of The Rock is pretty much a rip off of the TV but a version that lacks from that. Just catch phrases and a few words and thats it. It is too repetitive.
I mean that is why I wouldn't touch Austin after seeing your portrayal of him... I'd mess it up. I would dare touch James Storm cause I'd ruin that legacy. There are just certain things that to me are taboo but then again I'm an old school kinda guy that lives off of respect and I respect the work that others have done and with the characters they turned into icons. Some are just like... hey he is popular, I've seen him on TV, I'll use him and then they get tired of them because they don't do anything with them. He hasn't done anything different that nobody else couldn't do. Its just bland. So yeah that is just me being honest about it.
Q: I find your choice to return as Edge interesting, what made you decide to return as the Rated R Superstar?
A: Part of it was cause Jay had such an awesome run as Edge and Edge is one of those characters that can transition easily and you can pretty much do what you want and it fit. He is a character that you can easily evolve and change and still keep him relevant and in character. Edge is one of those very few characters that you can do anything with. And since he was free... I felt it was time to turn UWF Rated R.
Q: Do you think it's easier to play a face or a heel?
A: I've always found it tons easier to play heel than a face. Heel you have so much freedom and can pretty much say anything you want. As a face you have to watch somethings. You can try to be the anti hero but you still have restrictions on what you can and can't say. What you can and can't do. Can't have a live sex show in the middle of the ring as a face but as a heel... well... oh snap that might be a future plan as a heel. Always planning for the future.
Q: Raw or Smackdown, and why?
A: Honestly I couldn't give ya a straight answer there. I was asked to come over to Smackdown and so I was like heyyy lets take my talents to Smackdown. Both shows are the goods... but being the shameless self promoter I am... Smackdown is better cause of me.
Q: Who do you think is going to win the 4-on-4 elimination tag team match pitting the team of Charizard, Blastoise, Pikachu, and Mewtwo against the team of Gengar, Venusaur, Machoke, and Electabuzz and why?
A: I'll have to go with Team Pikachu since he is the only one I recognize out of all of them. So Pikachu better win or else I'll be like... wait what just happened who beat Pikachu. Nooooooo Pikachuuuuuu.
Q: If you could tag with anyone in UWF right now, who would it be and why?
A: Hmmm as far as partners go... I'd say someone that I could win the tag titles with and can have fun with. But I dunno in particular. I mean we had an idea for our team but things happened so it'd be good to partner up again.
Q: If Edge was taken, who would've been your second choice?
A: Goldust. Yes as obscure of a choice that is... Goldust would have more than likely been a top choice. Just someone out of the ordinary. And not to do that whole stuttering comedy gimmick he had. But the one he had when he was IC champion taking on Razor Ramon, Ahmed Johnson, and Undertaker. He was at the top. Maybe Val Venis under that. But Edge was free so I was like hey... I struck gold let's do this.
Q: Lastly, I'm not a doctor but I play one on the internet...
A: Good luck with that doc.
I give Slim a pass for not being able to finish my catchphrase because of the awesome comment he gave me recently as The Rock, and the fact that he likely never read this column before he came to UWF. Anyhoo, there's lots more to get to, so at last, let's dive right in! I'm not a doctor but I play one on the internet and this is my prescription for all your wrestling needs, The Dresden Dose!
Before he thinks I forgot about him, Andrew made a suggestion that the Dresden Dose should have a theme song. I'm not against the idea, but I'm not sure how I feel regarding his choice. I don't dislike the song, I just don't know that it fits the Dose. I'll let you guys weigh in and tell me what you think, maybe I should open it up to suggestion from all of you, sounds like a plan to me. Anyway, here it is:
[video=youtube;c2rh_-nDcrU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2rh_-nDcrU[/video]
Now, since I'm rushing to get this thing posted, I'm going to use that song as a segue into my "From The Vault" match.
FROM THE VAULT: JOHN CENA VS. RICK RUDE
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Well ladies and gentlemen, coming up is the first semifinals match of the Intercontinental Championship tournament.
Jim Ross: It's definitely a collision of contrasting personalities and a melting pot of superstardom from different eras, King, I can't wait.
As the commentators finish hyping up the match, suddenly the ring bell is sounded.
DING DING!
Lilian Garcia: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
[big]"So...you think you're Untouchable..."[/big]
"Basic Thuganomics" by John Cena and Tha Trademarc begins blaring out of the speakers, inspiring the fans to erupt in boos. The lights in the arena transform to white and begin flickering on and off. After a few seconds, Cena walks out onto the stage in a confident fashion before raising his hands into the air. Cena makes his way down the ramp, ignoring all of the fans along the way
Lilian Garcia: From West Newbury, Massachusetts, weighing in at 250 lbs. He is the "Doctor of Thuganomics", John Cena!
Cena throws up his arms again, gesturing to the crowd as they continue to boo him passionately. As he lowers his arms and turns his attention to the stage, Lilian continues with the introductions.
Lilian Garcia: And the opponent...
[flash=250,250]http://www.youtube.com/v/q1HJS0w2rPI[/flash]
The fans in the arena are on the edge of their seats when suddenly the lights dim and the camera pans to the entranceway. The theme of the "Ravishing One" begins to play as Rick Rude walks out donning a black robe, stopping and standing there with a smirk on his face. He looks behind him as Bobby "The Brain" Heenan walks out. They stand there for a moment soaking up the boos from the crowd before making their way down to the ring.
Lilian Garcia: From Robbinsdale, Minnesota. Weighing in at 251 pounds, being accompanied to the ring by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, "Ravishing" Rick Rude!
Heenan remains ringside as Rude enters the ring and stands up, undoing his robe and segueing into his usual dancing as it slips off of his body to the mat. A look of disgust appears on Cena's face as the fans boo Rick
Jerry "The King" Lawler: They're having a hard time deciding who they dislike more, JR!
Jim Ross Well love 'em or hate 'em, one of these young men is going to be one step closer to being the Intercontinental Champion after this.
[color=000]The ring bell sounds again, indicating it's time for the match to begin
DING DING!
Without any hesitation or warning, Rude fires a right hand into the face of Cena, catching the Doctor off guard as he falls to the mat. Cena catches himself with his hands and looks to push himself up, but is met with a boot to the face that sends him onto his back. Rude charges a bit, throwing himself into the air with seemingly no regard for his body and connects with what can best be dubbed a seated elbow drop as the point of the Ravishing One's elbow is sharply driven into the chest of Cena.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Ooh, that's enough to make you cough up some blood, JR!
Jim Ross: No one's ever accused Rick Rude of playing nice, King, he's proving in the very early going that he's in it to win it!
[color=000]John sits up clutching his chest with his left hand as Rude delivers a straight kick, the tips of his toes connecting with his opponent's abdomen squarely as John begins coughing due to his insides being impacted by the force. Rude attempts another kick but Cena swats his leg away and thrusts himself from the mat, his right shoulder connecting below Rick's pectoral muscles as he takes a few steps back due to the damage sustained and John is now on his feet, a pure house of fire.
John runs into the ropes and propels himself into a shoulder tackle that sends Rude into the opposite ropes. As Rick comes off, John takes a swing but his opponent sidesteps, swinging his own arm over Cena's in what appears to be a retaliatory punch but isn't, as Rude stretches his arm across the throat of his opponent and wrenches back, bringing his other arm around the upper part of Cena's head and locking them together, successfully using the momentum of the shoulder block to counter a strike attempt into a sleeper hold.
Cena reacts to this angrily as he throws an elbow backward into the abdomen of Rude, breaking the hold. John reaches back over his shoulder, grabbing Rick by the back of the head, throwing him over it and planting his opponent in a seated position in front of him. Cena delivers several kicks to the kidneys, sending Rude onto his side, holding where he was kicked in pain with the back of his hand, palm facing Cena. John goes for another kick but Rude somehow catches his foot with the outward facing palm, clamping his fingers down around the toes. Rick springs to his feet and turns to face his opponent, hurling the leg upward and delivering a kick to John's other leg so that it buckled, taking Cena's ground out from underneath him as he hits the mat with hard impact.[/color]
Jim Ross: In all my years of broadcasting, I have never seen anything like that.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: I'm surprised at how dominant Rick's been in this contest, JR.
Jim Ross: Perhaps the young Cena has much to learn from the veteran in this exchange.
[color=000]Rude takes hold of both of his opponent's legs right above the ankle and steps through them with one of his own, bending forward and turning Cena and then wrenching back.[/color]
Jim Ross: Bah gawd, Rick Rude's got Cena in the Sharpshooter! Rick Rude's got Cena in the Sharpshooter!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: It might be all over!
[color=000]Cena plants his hands on the mat and begins pushing upward, trying to raise himself off the mat as much as possible and create resistance and soon, it was visible that Rude was having trouble keeping the hold applied as a result. John, seemingly in some control of his lower body, bends his lower half towards himself as much as he can and throws back to where they were before he began doing this, the momentum launching Rude out of the hold and through the ropes to the outside. Cena, seemingly unfazed, pushes himself to his feet and runs into the opposite ropes, charging forward and launching himself over them in a suicide dive, bringing Rude and Heenan to the ground.
John and Rude get up rather quickly, propelled by adrenaline, and begin trading punches. During the course of this, Heenan decides to get physically involved as he hauls off and punches Cena, breaking up the trade-off. Rick backs off and re-enters the ring to make himself ineligible for count out as Heenan charges John, looking to bring him down. Cena grabs Bobby in response and lifts him up, connecting with a flapjack manuever onto the guardrailing. The crowd "ooh"'s at the impact as John re-enters the ring. Rude begins stomping on his back with his right foot to try to keep him down, as Cena notices the robe from Rick's entrance still on the mat, coincidentally placed under his opponent's other foot. John throws his arm outward, connecting with a chop to the left side of Rude's right knee to block a stomp, and when he planted his other foot, John pulled the robe, tripping the Ravishing One up, causing him to hit the back of his head on the mat with disturbing snap and impact.[/color]
Jim Ross: Oh my word!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: That was enough to wake up Rude's chiropractor, JR.
[color=000]Rick appears to be out cold as Cena turns him over on his stomach, laying him on the robe as he pulls it up around his face and head and applies the STFU. Rude writhes in pain in the hold but looks to refuse submitting as he turns his arms toward his face and begins to claw at the fabric covering it[/color]
Jim Ross: This is quite a predicament he's in, King! He's fighting to stay in this thing! He's fighting for air! He's fighting to be one of two men squaring off at Unforgiven for the title!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: I'd tell ya calm down JR, but I'm as glued to this match as you are!
[color=000]After a moment, Rude manages to poke two holes in it with a finger on each of his hands, tearing it apart until it was two pieces that slid off his shoulders onto the mat. He turns his body and throws a stiff elbow into the temple of his opponent, making him dazed as Cena lets up and Rick rolls(lol Rick'roll) so that Cena's back is flat on the mat and Rude is on top of him, pinning him down with his weight. The referee runs over and begins counting as he slaps the mat.
ONE!
...
TWO!
...[/color]
Jim Ross: Wait, what's going on here?
[color=000]The referee is suddenly pulled out of the ring, the crowd going nuts when the camera pans to show who it is. Randy Orton pulls the ref out by the leg and stays out of his line of sight as he irish whips him into the steel steps, incapacitating him. Cena sees this and begins walking toward Orton but is low blowed by Rude as he falls to his knees, Randy sliding into the ring to take advantage of a vulnerable Cena.[/color]
Jim Ross: Damnit, this is wrong! What does he think he's doing?
[color=000]Orton crawls on his fists and slithers into position for an RKO but as he goes for it, Rude pulls John out of the way and Randy hits the mat on his lower back. Rude tells him he has no business getting involved, and Orton plants Cena with an RKO! Rude tells him to leave, and Orton agrees as he walks by Rude, seemingly leaving the ring. Rude goes to pick Cena up when Randy spins him around and plants him with an RKO!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: RKO's for everyone!
[color=000]Heenan sucker punches Randy as he exits the ring and begins to light into him with a flurry of punches[/color]
Jim Ross: Don't do it Brain!
[color=000]Orton throws his arm and knife edge chops Heenan in the face, Bobby turning his back to him after it connected. Randy turned him around and delivered an RKO right onto the steel steps! The referee began to come to as Orton hopped the barricade and exited through the crowd[/color]
Jim Ross: This is absolutely heinous what just happened.
[color=000]In the ring, Rude is to his feet first as he hooks Cena's head and turns, putting him in position for the Rude Awakening. The referee re-enters the ring as Rude begins his usual theatrics for the move, delaying the follow-through. This proves to be a mistake because as he went to do so, Cena threw an elbow into his kidneys, bending down and sticking his arm through Rude's legs, lifting him onto his shoulders. Cena delivers the FU with Rick facing upward with tremendous impact, rolling him over for the pin, Rude visibly busted open. The referee begins the count.
ONE!
...
TWO!
...
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner, John Cena!
[color=000]As "Basic Thuganomics" began playing again, Cena celebrated his victory./color]
Jim Ross: Well whether I like how it went down or not, I have to admit, that was one hell of a match.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: One has to wonder about Randy Orton's involvement, but I'm sure we'll have our answers sooner rather than later
TESTING GROUND
This week's Testing Ground is from the "E-fed Testing Ground" thread on the former PWMania. Not long after they began the New Nexus angle, I made a trash talk as C.M. Punk and the New Nexus, simple as that.
[video=youtube;P2rYG3CCsKw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2rYG3CCsKw[/video]
The crowd reacts with a mix of cheers and boos as the Nexus comes out, lead by their new person in command, CM Punk. They all make their way down to the ring, microphones already in tow, as they enter.
CM Punk: That's the reaction I was expecting to get. The fact that you're booing me right now when you should be cheering just shows how brainwashed you were by him. But you aren't the only ones at fault, I hold the Raw locker room just as accountable. Because they, much like all of you, quit resisting the corporate machine, they quit trying to go anywhere or do anything and just accepted the ruse that none of them could beat John Cena as fact.
And it went this way for days and weeks, weeks and months, months and years, with everyone that ever opposed him either befriending him or setting their sights elsewhere after suffering defeat. Then Nexus came along, daring to challenge him, and succeeded for awhile until they too fell to him, but it's not all their fault. No, the blame rests on the head of Wade Barrett for thinking John Cena is a man that can be stopped by another single man.
Therein lied their one and only flaw, which is why, although I disagree with what was done to him, I personally relieve Wade Barrett of his leadership and take the job upon myself.
The crowd responded with the same division as when Punk and Nexus first arrived.
CM Punk: Boo me all you want, because unlike Cena, I'm not going to let it sway my direction or continue to address it. My mission is simple, to eradicate every trace of John Cena from the WWE.
Heath Slater stepped forward as Punk stepped aside.
Heath Slater: They say history has a funny way of repeating itself, and you're a perfect example of that, Cena. Every time you're faced with a challenge, you overcome adversity. But in these last six months, every time you overcome that adversity, we beat you right back down when you aren't looking. You made your jokes, had your laughs, and got to stand with your hand raised and head held high many many times. Well look who's laughing and standing tall now, Cena, for once it isn't you.
Heath Slater steps back as Justin Gabriel steps forward.
Justin Gabriel: You guys realize it doesn't end with Cena, don't you? We've still got to win back our tag titles from Santino and Kozlov, not to mention a U.S. title and WWE championship that would fit quit nicely around one of our waists.
Gabriel turns and looks out towards the crowd.
Justin Gabriel: Take it from someone that makes a living from an aerial view, Cena. We're standing on top of the WWE right now, looking down on everyone in that locker room, all of them in our hands, and when it's all said and done, there won't be anything you can do to stop us.
Gabriel steps aside as Otunga takes the microphone now.
David Otunga: Cena, this could've been over when I offered you that truce last week, but you had to be prideful! You had to do what you always do and be the hero, but this time instead of you getting to fly away, me and the boys here pulled you to the ground by your cape and did what we do best, annihiliate you.
But I know how you think Cena, you aren't going to take this lying down. You're going to try and match the numbers game again, and to that, I encourage you. Get Evan Bourne, get Mark Henry, get John Morrison or R-Truth or Daniel Bryan. Go ahead and get Michael Tarver or Skip Sheffield or Darren Young, try and get Wade if you want. Anyone you've got up your sleeve, we can handle them, because we're Nexus, and we're better than you!
Their music began to play as they exited the ring and made their way to the back.
Well guys, that's going to do it for this week. Keep your eyes peeled for the Great American Bash pay-per-view and the review of it, and don't forget to like, rep, and comment below. Share your feedback on the match, the Testing Ground, the interview, the suggested theme song, anything and everything. Until next time, the doctor is out!