First of all, I think it's bullshit that I have to fill out my profile in its entirety just to be able to post. Ever heard of privacy?
That being said, I have compiled a list of five of the most overrated, most bullshit wrestlers that I've ever had the misfortune of sitting through one of their matches. These idiots have no real talent, and the fact that you marks actually get such boners for these idiots (#3, literally speaking) just makes me sick to my stomach.
#1. Bret "Hitman" Hart.
The excellence of execution? No, what he's excellent at is causing me to cough up Z's. Everyone remember his iron man match with Shawn Micheals? Great match, right? Well, if it was so great, shouldn't the audience have been on their feet the whole time? If that was the case, why is it, when they went into overtime, the fans sat down?
Oh, but Dstebbins, what about his five-star match with Owen Hart in the cage? What about it? The last time I enjoyed a cage match was when there was no one named "Hart" in it.
All of these wrestlers are overrated, but Bret Hart is, quite simply, the most overrated there is, the most overrated there was, and the most overrated there ever will be.
#2. Bryan Danielson.
Slow, boring, and can't even cut a half ass decent promo. Seriously, what is this guy's gimmick? What is his character?
Danielson prides himself as a submission specialist, but, when he's got a submission hold locked in, he displayed no emotion whatsoever! Damn it, Bryan, scream as you try and exert all your strength. Grit your teeth. Do SOMETHING!
Honestly, his top ten moves consistently include MMA elbows to the side of the head! In fact, they aren't even elbows! If you look really closely, you'll see that they're triceps! I COULD DO THAT!
He's also known for his suplexes, like the regalplex, the belly-to-belly suplex, and the belly-to-back superplex. News flash: His opponent is doing all the work! The opponent is the one actually jumping over Danielson's head!
When Danielson got fired from WWE, I couldn't have been more excited! If I had to choose between Danielson leaving and the Rock returning, it would be a tough decision!
#3. Angelina Love.
What the fuck? She got the TNA Knockout's title by rubbing your crotch on the ring rope! Mike Tenay said it best one night (I can't remember the date) when he described her beauty: "It's just a tease. There's no payoff."
This woman is not a wrestler. She's a slut. She belongs in pornos, not wrestling rings. She can't even give a decent clothesline! How the FUCK did she become the KO champ?
And the fact that you horny fucking bastards have the audacity to cheer for her makes me sick to my stomach! What's the matter? Are you not getting laid enough at home? Or, is it the fact that you have a girlfriend, but she's some kind of white trash, stripper stretch mark woman who's first time on national television was on the Jerry Springer Show, and you want to fantasize about someone hotter?
Angelina isn't even that hot! She's just got breast implants and wears more make-up than Lady Gaga. Obviously, she wasn't able to use her womanly charms to seduce the Border Patrol!
#4. Nigel McGuinness.
I have seen two "well-received" matches with Nigel McGuinness. The first was his match against Austin Aries at ROH Supercard of Honor III. The second was his match against Kurt Angle in November 2009.
Both of them sucked balls. I will talk about his match with Aries first, and I'll get to his match with Kurt Angle later.
The entrances at SOH3 were okay. But, when the bell rang, they spent about five minutes staring each other down. It reminded me of Lesnar vs. Goldberg at Wrestlemania XX. McGuinness was insulting a fan, and Aries was trying to get his attention, and the commentators are saying "Aries is like 'You pay attention to me. I'm the one who's gonna take the title from your waste.'" Meanwhile, I'm thinking "Will you PLEASE throw a punch before we all fall asleep? If you wanna get his attention, jump him from behind!"
Finally, after about five whole minutes, they lock up. Then, they spend about 15 minutes just doing hammerlocks and armbars. Ok, I know about the whole "feeling out" process (god, no matter how many times I say that, it sound perverted, especially since they're dressing in spandex and rubbing themselves in baby oil), but that's supposed to be the first two or three minutes of a match, not the first fifteen.
And, even after they finish the crotch-grabbing process (yeah, I'm not gonna make any bones about the double innuendo, anymore), I was still fast forwarding the DVD throughout the entire match, in the hopes that they would do something that excited me! Jesus fucking Christ, this match was just boring as fuck.
Then, his match with Kurt Angle. It had nice buildup, but it had piss poor delivery. It was nothing but various submission holds for 60% of the match. Let me put it this way: You've heard of a spotfest, right? Well, this was a rest hold fest. Rest holds are not wrestling. Rest holds are a promissory note that wrestling will soon arrive. Rest holds are just that: REST holds! They are the wrestlers' way of telling the fans "Look, we're too exhausted. If we keep going at that pace much longer, we'll over exert ourselves and our hearts will explode. Let us take thirty seconds to get our breath back, and we'll pick up the pace, again. We promise." Rest holds are not supposed to be 60% of the entire fucking match!
Quite simply, Nigel McGuinness completes the duo of overrated ROH guys.
#5. Ric Flair
I've watched tapes of Ric Flair in his prime. Not a whole lot happening. I think his gimmick is the only thing that made him so famous. Ric Flair is to the IV Horsemen as X-Pac was the D-Generation X.
Not only that, but his gimmick (his only real asset) was completely ripped off from "Nature Boy" Buddy Rodgers, the first WWE Champion. Even Ric admits it in the documentary "The Unreal Story of Professional Wrestling," that Buddy Rodgers is the REAL nature boy!
So, there you have it. The top five most overrated wrestlers of all time. Questions? Comments? Thoughts?
That being said, I have compiled a list of five of the most overrated, most bullshit wrestlers that I've ever had the misfortune of sitting through one of their matches. These idiots have no real talent, and the fact that you marks actually get such boners for these idiots (#3, literally speaking) just makes me sick to my stomach.
#1. Bret "Hitman" Hart.
The excellence of execution? No, what he's excellent at is causing me to cough up Z's. Everyone remember his iron man match with Shawn Micheals? Great match, right? Well, if it was so great, shouldn't the audience have been on their feet the whole time? If that was the case, why is it, when they went into overtime, the fans sat down?
Oh, but Dstebbins, what about his five-star match with Owen Hart in the cage? What about it? The last time I enjoyed a cage match was when there was no one named "Hart" in it.
All of these wrestlers are overrated, but Bret Hart is, quite simply, the most overrated there is, the most overrated there was, and the most overrated there ever will be.
#2. Bryan Danielson.
Slow, boring, and can't even cut a half ass decent promo. Seriously, what is this guy's gimmick? What is his character?
Danielson prides himself as a submission specialist, but, when he's got a submission hold locked in, he displayed no emotion whatsoever! Damn it, Bryan, scream as you try and exert all your strength. Grit your teeth. Do SOMETHING!
Honestly, his top ten moves consistently include MMA elbows to the side of the head! In fact, they aren't even elbows! If you look really closely, you'll see that they're triceps! I COULD DO THAT!
He's also known for his suplexes, like the regalplex, the belly-to-belly suplex, and the belly-to-back superplex. News flash: His opponent is doing all the work! The opponent is the one actually jumping over Danielson's head!
When Danielson got fired from WWE, I couldn't have been more excited! If I had to choose between Danielson leaving and the Rock returning, it would be a tough decision!
#3. Angelina Love.
What the fuck? She got the TNA Knockout's title by rubbing your crotch on the ring rope! Mike Tenay said it best one night (I can't remember the date) when he described her beauty: "It's just a tease. There's no payoff."
This woman is not a wrestler. She's a slut. She belongs in pornos, not wrestling rings. She can't even give a decent clothesline! How the FUCK did she become the KO champ?
And the fact that you horny fucking bastards have the audacity to cheer for her makes me sick to my stomach! What's the matter? Are you not getting laid enough at home? Or, is it the fact that you have a girlfriend, but she's some kind of white trash, stripper stretch mark woman who's first time on national television was on the Jerry Springer Show, and you want to fantasize about someone hotter?
Angelina isn't even that hot! She's just got breast implants and wears more make-up than Lady Gaga. Obviously, she wasn't able to use her womanly charms to seduce the Border Patrol!
#4. Nigel McGuinness.
I have seen two "well-received" matches with Nigel McGuinness. The first was his match against Austin Aries at ROH Supercard of Honor III. The second was his match against Kurt Angle in November 2009.
Both of them sucked balls. I will talk about his match with Aries first, and I'll get to his match with Kurt Angle later.
The entrances at SOH3 were okay. But, when the bell rang, they spent about five minutes staring each other down. It reminded me of Lesnar vs. Goldberg at Wrestlemania XX. McGuinness was insulting a fan, and Aries was trying to get his attention, and the commentators are saying "Aries is like 'You pay attention to me. I'm the one who's gonna take the title from your waste.'" Meanwhile, I'm thinking "Will you PLEASE throw a punch before we all fall asleep? If you wanna get his attention, jump him from behind!"
Finally, after about five whole minutes, they lock up. Then, they spend about 15 minutes just doing hammerlocks and armbars. Ok, I know about the whole "feeling out" process (god, no matter how many times I say that, it sound perverted, especially since they're dressing in spandex and rubbing themselves in baby oil), but that's supposed to be the first two or three minutes of a match, not the first fifteen.
And, even after they finish the crotch-grabbing process (yeah, I'm not gonna make any bones about the double innuendo, anymore), I was still fast forwarding the DVD throughout the entire match, in the hopes that they would do something that excited me! Jesus fucking Christ, this match was just boring as fuck.
Then, his match with Kurt Angle. It had nice buildup, but it had piss poor delivery. It was nothing but various submission holds for 60% of the match. Let me put it this way: You've heard of a spotfest, right? Well, this was a rest hold fest. Rest holds are not wrestling. Rest holds are a promissory note that wrestling will soon arrive. Rest holds are just that: REST holds! They are the wrestlers' way of telling the fans "Look, we're too exhausted. If we keep going at that pace much longer, we'll over exert ourselves and our hearts will explode. Let us take thirty seconds to get our breath back, and we'll pick up the pace, again. We promise." Rest holds are not supposed to be 60% of the entire fucking match!
Quite simply, Nigel McGuinness completes the duo of overrated ROH guys.
#5. Ric Flair
I've watched tapes of Ric Flair in his prime. Not a whole lot happening. I think his gimmick is the only thing that made him so famous. Ric Flair is to the IV Horsemen as X-Pac was the D-Generation X.
Not only that, but his gimmick (his only real asset) was completely ripped off from "Nature Boy" Buddy Rodgers, the first WWE Champion. Even Ric admits it in the documentary "The Unreal Story of Professional Wrestling," that Buddy Rodgers is the REAL nature boy!
So, there you have it. The top five most overrated wrestlers of all time. Questions? Comments? Thoughts?
