Things you enjoy despite being bad at them

[Solidus1]

That's where we'll have to agree to disagree. tunga: Like I said, it's different if the guy develops feelings after a period of time and after becoming friends with a chick. It's another thing entirely if he wants to date her from the beginning but doesn't ever tell her and instead chooses to try to get close by becoming her friend instead. Two entirely different scenarios.

I also find it borderline amusing that you think the chick should agree to go out with him even if she isn't remotely interested in that kind of a relationship. That would be like saying a girl should say yes to any guy that asks her out.

I agree with the scenario as far as a guy being able to develop stronger feelings unintentionally after already being friends with the girl, but like I said, that's a whole different issue. Part of what you are saying makes sense, but not the overall picture as far as what I was talking about.

A lot of guys act like there's this "friend zone" that we women intentionally put them in -- as if we're torturing them or taking delight in putting them there. But there isn't. It really just boils down to whether we want to date a guy or not. Period.

If a friendship gets ruined because one person develops stronger feelings and the other doesn't, then that is a sad situation. However, if a guy wants to initially date but doesn't say so and becomes friends instead then admits later on down the road he wants to date -- that's deceitful and can ruin a good friendship based on him not being honest from the beginning.

Those were pretty much my points.

If a girl likes a guy, and they talk about everything together, laugh together, all that stuff. What does she have to lose by going into a relationship with this guy? What is the thought process behind the woman when she turns him down? This is a guy who is super nice, makes her laugh, and is someone she can trust, but doesn't want him? What more does she want? It's total bs that any girl would reject that. He is exactly what she's wants in a partner, but she turns him down. If a friendship is that great, it shouldn't be just a friendship.
Again, I'm talking about guys and girls that have been friends for a long time.

 

[Solidus1]

A lot of guys act like there's this "friend zone" that we women intentionally put them in -- as if we're torturing them or taking delight in putting them there. But there isn't. It really just boils down to whether we want to date a guy or not. Period.

Also, I know it is not intentional, but the girl must be aware. She can't expect the feelings this guy has to just disappear.
My overall point being that the girl has nothing to lose, and everything to gain by getting into a relationship with this great friend.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Friend zone is real. I'm at work I will expand ony feelings later.

 

[GrammarNazi82]

I have beaten my dead horse on the subject, so I won't say anymore on it myself since I've already expressed my thoughts/feelings and the context thereof. However, I will provide some links to others' writings on the subject that maybe some of you will read if you have time and care to dig further into it.

A short, somewhat lighthearted view of the "friend zone" myth from a guy's perspective

A longer, more feminist view of the "friend zone" myth and how frustrating and degrading that term is. Worth a read for those who really are interested in the topic.

Another relatively short write-up, but still interesting.

Short post about it. Brings up a spiritual aspect, but does mention how friendships can develop into more, and how both men and women reevaluate the potential throughout their friendship.

Some of these also mention some of the things you brought up, Solidus.

 

[Crayo]

If a girl likes a guy, and they talk about everything together, laugh together, all that stuff. What does she have to lose by going into a relationship with this guy? What is the thought process behind the woman when she turns him down? This is a guy who is super nice, makes her laugh, and is someone she can trust, but doesn't want him? What more does she want? It's total bs that any girl would reject that. He is exactly what she's wants in a partner, but she turns him down. If a friendship is that great, it shouldn't be just a friendship.

Whilst I agree with most of what you have said in this thread, most females understandably need to be attracted to the guy... Lol. There is this girl who I'm incredibly close friends with and is super nice, makes me laugh and is someone I can trust, but I won't ever date her because I'm simply not attracted to her.