The traditional ring mat has been replaced by a red velvet carpeting, with numerous setpieces filling the ring, including an oil painting of Diamond in a style reminiscent of a Fresco, Intercontinental Championship sat in his lap. A lovely piece of art, exhibiting every iconic feature of Diamond, who is seen wearing his iconic sunglasses and his recently acquired all-black scarf. In the centre of the ring is a wooden stool, with a padded top for maximum gluteus maximus comfort. On all the ring posts, hang pink and black and yellow and blue and red balloons, this is a celebration, after all.
A bustle begins amongst the audience as this scene in the ring is left uninterrupted, with no sign of the Intercontinental Champion until.....
BOOMBOOOMBOOOMBOOOOMBOOOOOOMBOOOOOOOMBOOOOOOM
An explosion of pyro accompanied by trumpetal instrumentation, the lights in the arena black out, except for a single spotlight, which now has it's focus on centerstage, after 17.3 seconds of waiting, Joseph Diamond appears from the darkness and into the light. He's wearing an all black suit, tie included with a pink vest overtop. On top of all that, Diamonds shoulders drape a black scarf, his eyes covered with his vermillion gold Raybands, and, around his waist, the Intercontinental Championship. Diamond being the one to inceptionalize the Intercontinental Championship, the belt looks right at home with him, although the last time we saw it the year was 2016 and Joseph Diamond was still undefeated.
And now, 7 months later, Joseph Diamond is a champion on Precision once again. As he makes his way to the ring, the crowd show a surprising amount of respect towards the new champion (although, to be fair, he hasn't opened his mouth yet), which causes a cheeky grin to cross the face of Diamond, but he quickly dismisses the cheers and goes back to looking serious and gruff and mean.
Diamond finally enters the ring, and after a long pause where he attempted to get a microphone brought to him from ringside, he grabs one himself, which annoys him greatly. Like, a lot.
Diamond gets back in the ring, sitting on the maximum gluteus maximus comfort stool before beginning to speak....slowly.....
Joseph Diamond: Ladies and gentlemen, allow myself. To introduce. THE FIRST EVER. TWO. TIME. INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. JOSEPH. DIAMOND.
Diamond leaps out of his seat as he says that, and manages to move the title from around his waist to above his head in under 2 seconds.
Now this, this isn't just a celebration of me, it is a celebration of me, but it's not just about that. It's a celebration of the fact that, after HALF A YEAR OF MEDIOCRITY, HALF A YEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENTS, THAT AT LONG LAST, THIS TITLE, THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP IS BACK. WHERE IT BELONGS. AROUND MY WAIST, and believe you me, now that I have this title back, I am never letting it go. Ever. Again. And you know what? In the spirit of that, I would be nervous about losing this at Bad Blood in that triple threat match, but thanks to Will Neilson and the good folks at Anarchy Inc, I don't need to worry about a triple threat, in fact, I might as well have the night off at Bad Blood considering um, who am I facing? The Golden Dragon? I had that guy beat last week anyways, who is he kidding thinking he can step up to the UNBREAKABLE SENSATION, NEW FACE OF PRECISION, THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF PRECISION, AND, SOON TO BE DRAGON SLAYER, JOSEPH DIAMOND?
He's either arrogant or stupid and he's always struck me more as the humble type, but, unlike the Intercontinental Championship, unlike me, unlike Will Neilson, he is not being celebrated here tonight, so we shouldn't acknowledge him here tonight.
Oh, I almost forgot, tonight, we celebrate my wife sitting in the front row, my two kids, right there next to her, the ones who drive me to be the best Joseph Diamond I can be every day, tonight I celebrate the art student I commissioned to make this painting for me, she had 10,000 Canadian racked up in student debts and I paid it off, why? Because I'm Joseph Diamond. AND I CAN.
But most importantly, tonight I celebrate our all knowing general manager, the man who made it all possible, Reginald! He gave me the match for this title last week, he gave me the scarf, he put me on billboards, he has given me everything I have wanted because he believed in me when the Blakes never did. Which is why I'm going to invite him on down to the ring now, because this isn't my victory, this is our victory. This is our ceremony.
Reginald appears on the stage and Diamond looks genuinely excited to see him. Diamond actually seems to....like Reginald, now.
Reginald walks down the ramp, microphone in his wrinkled hand, and into the ring.
Reginald: Don't look to excited to see me, Joseph, because I know you're not going to like what I have to say.
Diamond: Reginald...you don't need to do this, we can talk about this in the back, they don't need to-
Reginald: What are you? No, Mr. Diamond, look. I removed Will Neilson from the match at Bad Blood, because of his involvement in last weeks match, but, and I didn't to have to do this, but, next week, you will have a match, one on one, for that Intercontinental Championship...against Will Neilson.
Diamonds jaw drops, and after 2 seconds of motionlessness, Diamond slowly places the Intercontinental Championship onto the padded stool, he takes off his Raybands, placing them on top of the title, and he begins to speak.......slowly.
Diamond: Now look, Reginald, am I thrilled to hear that I'm defending this title two weeks after I won it? No. Not at all, but if you think for a second that I would hold anything against you for it...
The look in Diamonds eye changes from one of sympathy to a look of anger and distain.
You're absolutely right.
Diamond clocks the GM with the microphone, dropping the, what? 100? Year old man. Diamond yells "YOU DON'T GET TO DO THIS TO ME, REGGIE", before picking him up and TOSSING HIM HEADFIRST THROUGH THE $10,000 PAINTING, LEAVING A HOLE WHERE DIAMONDS HEAD USED TO BE. Diamond yells "THATS WHAT HAPPENS" to the audience, before turning to Reginald, trying to finish him off....for good.
But SUDDENLY, OUT OF NOWHERE, WILL NEILSONS MUSIC, AND THE DISGRACED FORMER INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION HITS THE RING, Diamond doesn't see him, and gets JUMPED ON, and next thing Diamond knows, WilL Neilson is throwing straight rights and lefts at the current champion tries everything to get away from Neilson's assault, he manages to get out of the mount and crawls over to the still standing stool, and uses it to bring himself back to his feet, and Diamond wastes no time in getting back into it with Neilson, clotheslining him AND himself over the top rope, the two exhanging blows on the floor, while Diamonds wife and children watch on from ringside, one of his kid actually yells "KICK HIS HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS, DAD", which distracts Diamond momentarily, allowing Neilson to drive Diamonds head into the ringpost. And just as it looks like Neilson will put the champion away, officials run down the ramp alongside paramedics and security.
The referees and security attempt to keep Neilson away from Diamond at ringside while in the ring paramedics tend to Reginald, who is no doubt at least a little messed up after the assault from Diamond. Back at ringside Diamond is being held up by referees while Neilson is being held back by security, just as it looks like Neilson is going to heed the attack he jumps into action and leaps THROUGH the sea of officials and security, and begins to again unload on Diamond. The "celebration" ends with Neilson being taken away by security, Reginald down in the ring and Diamond trying to get his bearings back as his Intercontinental Championship is delivered to him while his family watches on.
