The Fed Zone: Reviewing Every WWF/E PPV

[ChristianCaged]

WrestleMania

Date: 31 March 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden; New York City, NY
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

Gene Okerlund kicks us off with a spirited (but let's face it, crap) rendition of Star Spangled Banner. Vince would quickly drop that for future WMs, as he decided "America the Beautiful" was a better song.

Tito Santana def. The Executioner (4:49)

The very first match at WrestleMania pits Tito Santana, who will stick around in WWF until 1993 and basically serve the role of the ultimate utility guy, against an outgoing Buddy Rose, who would wrestle his last WWF match here until 1990, under a very uncomfortable-looking mask. Don't worry though, he's going after Tito's leg! This is pretty much just a routine squash for Tito, who was very much in the Intercontinental Championship shake-up and arguably the company's biggest up-and-coming babyface at the time. A shame he never really made it, but he was always great in his role. Rose looked poor here as the Executioner, so fortunately they got through this quickly. *

King Kong Bundy def. SD Jones (0:24)

The longest nine seconds in WWF history! Or maybe the history of time? To quote David Brent, this was a "squaaash". Bundy hits a big Avalanche in the corner, kills Jones with a splash, and that's all she wrote. N/R

Ricky Steamboat def. Matt Borne (4:39)

Dick Blood vs. Doink! You'll have to wake up pretty early to find a rotten Ricky Steamboat match and, unsurprisingly, this is the best thing on the show so far. It's still an extended squash, basically, but Borne was always a solid worker and he bumps around the ring like a pro for Steamboat, who was still pretty new to the promotion as I recall and clearly earmarked for a midcard push. Steamboat hits a lovely cross-body to finish the job. **1/4

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino was fought to a Double DQ (11:43)

Someone decided that this would be the second longest match of the show. Terrible, take a lap. Sammartino was just a horrible shadow of his father in the ring and, as we'll document through these reviews, Brutus never had any talent as a worker, so this was predictably rough. The first 10 minutes is just basic wrestling with almost no heat or energy, and then our reward for sitting through that is a complete non-finish, which is pretty much designed to let Bruno get physical. Given that Bruno was still wrestling at the time (just about), I have no idea why this couldn't have been a tag match or something. At least the crowd would have cared! 1/4*

Intercontinental Championship: Junkyard Dog def. Greg Valentine (c) via count out (6:55)

These first few years in the company were pretty much Valentine's height in the WWF, and I wish he was given a better opponent here than a washed-up JYD. The match vs. Tito was right there! JYD's offense is all headbutts and punches here, and Valentine never gets to dip into his technical wrestling bag in any significant way. Then we get another screwy finish, after Tito rats on Hammer for cheating, which only serves to remind us of the Hammer/Tito match we should have got and make this feel like a huge waste of time. 1/2*

World Tag Team Championships: The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff def. The U.S. Express (c) (6:55)

This would have been a lot worse without Barry Windham, one of the best workers in the world around this time (as he would prove in JCP after this WWF run). As it is, this is a perfectly functional, template tag match that pits your evil foreign heels (plus turncoat manager) against a popular, All-American team. It's classic stuff, but we're in 1985 here and that stuff works. Blassie is not so classy and hands Sheik his walking stick, which he beats Windham over the head with to give Sheik and Volkoff a big victory. The U.S. Express would win the titles back later in the year, before finally dropping them to The Dream Team on their way out of the company. We'll see both of these guys again, individually. Decent match. **1/2

Andre the Giant def. Big John Studd in the Career vs. $15,000 Bodyslam Challenge (5:53)

Pretty diabolical match here, although Andre and Heenan's skirmishes and the interviews leading into this made me smile. They were such good foils for one another. The story here was that Studd bet Andre $15,000 dollars that he couldn't slam him, and Andre put up his career to say he could. Seems like Andre puts a pretty low value on his career! Most of the match is spent in corners, as these bears seem more intent on hugging each other and doing the bare minimum, although neither were in the best shape. No bumps allowed! Andre ends up getting the slam for one of your first WrestleMania "moments" and then Bobby manages to grab his money before Andre gives it all away. DUD

Women's Championship: Wendi Richter def. Lelaini Kai (c) (6:14)

Apart from Toni Storm keeping Richter's name alive, the only reason anyone remembers this match is because of Cyndi Lauper (or for you youngsters, Chappell Roan's mum). Women's wrestling was pretty basic in the States around this time, so this isn't anything special, but the celebrity bells and whistles attached to this gives it some extra juice. I genuinely think Lauper was ready to kick Moolah's ass at ringside: it's still real to her, dammit! 3/4*

Hulk Hogan & Mr. T def. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff (13:34)

Your first WrestleMania main event has Muhammad Ali as a special guest enforcer, which is easily the biggest sports crossover WWF pulls off for at least another 14 years. This is what I would call well-managed chaos, as there were a lot of combustible elements here that could have gone wrong (about 15 people at ringside, two referees and a green-as-peas Mr. T) but ultimately came together to make for an entertaining spectacle, which is all this needed to be. In some ways, it's the closest thing we get to an all-out brawl on WWF PPV until the advent of gimmicks like Falls Count Anywhere and Ladder Matches. Fair play to Orndorff here too, as he was quite obviously the only man here willing to get jobbed out (he'd be rewarded with a feud vs. Hogan in 1986). They've had a lot of worse WM main events! ***

Overall

The very first "WrestleMania" is a historic show, if not because of the quality of the card. It's quite interesting how different the presentation feels just two years later at WrestleMania III. At this point in time, WWF feels a lot like any other territory in the NWA, unlike the national sensation it would become when it started elevating the wrestlers' personae, introducing a wider array of gimmicks and generally becoming more colourful and slick in its production.

The production value of this show is actually quite poor, with Lord Alfred Hayes awkwardly connecting different matches and promos together. As for the wrestling, this is quite a basic show. The best match is probably the main event between Hogan / Mr.T and Piper / Orndorff, which feels like a glimmer of the spectacle this show would quickly become. I also enjoyed Ricky Steamboat's performance against Matt Borne and the Tag Team Championship match between Sheik / Volkoff and the U.S. Express. Barry Windham looked like a real star in that bout. If the show rides off the back of its historical significance, that's okay. It lit the fuse that would become WWF's golden generation.

My rating is a balance between the quality of the card and its importance to the industry. It's also not a long show, so passes by fairly quickly and harmlessly. 5/10.

 

[ChristianCaged]

The Wrestling Classic

Date: 7 November 1985
Location: Rosemont Horizon; Rosemont, IL
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

There's a lot of stopping between matches so that Vince, Alfred and a deer-in-headlights female celebrity can check the tournament chart and waffle, so you'll forgive me if I eschew those parts and focus on the in-ring action!

Round 1: Adrian Adonis def. Corporal Kirchner (3:21)

Here's Adrian Adonis in his singular WWF PPV appearance before a gimmick more well-known to modern fans. Kirchner was basically a poor version of the Slaughter gimmick (which is still the only wrestling soldier character that ever worked) and basically sucked in the ring. Adonis dispatches him pretty quickly to advance to the quarters. 1/2*

Round 1: The Dynamite Kid def. Nikolai Volkoff (0:08)

Ah, the old banana peel finish, as Nikolai gets distracted belting out the Soviet anthem and Kid takes advantage to win this one double sharp. N/R

Round 1: Randy Savage def. Ivan Putski (2:48)

God damn, Putski is the most jacked grandpa I've ever seen! Savage does his usual routine from this heel era, flaunting and escaping before bumping like a hero whenever he gets the opportunity. Putski was like a sore thumb though, even in the mid-eighties. Fine enough for a sub-three-minute match. *

Round 1: Ricky Steamboat def. Davey Boy Smith via stoppage (2:55)

Vince keeps referring to this as a "scientific match" in the build-up, which is true enough for Steamboat I guess. These guys were actually rolling here early on, as Steamboat's speed complemented Davey's power, but this is cut short by some weird injury angle where Davey hits the ropes and then somehow gets blown up? I guess there were 146 other matches on this show to squeeze in. Dave rated this 3.75 stars (the rating system was new, to be fair)! 3/4*

Round 1: Junkyard Dog def. The Iron Sheik (3:26)

To my great surprise, this wasn't terrible. Sheik actually gets some pretty respectable heat on JYD, applying a camel clutch to earn the vociferous boos of the Chicago crowd, before JYD makes the comeback and finishes with a headbutt. Probably the only match in this round that works better in three minutes. *1/4

Round 1: Moondog Spot def. Terry Funk via count out (0:27)

Ah god damn it, we could have had a sick Terry Funk run in this tournament. Monumentally dumb finish that makes Funk, one of your best heels on the roster at this time, look like a jackass. DUD

Round 1: Tito Santana def. Magnificent Muraco (4:19)

Best match of the tourney so far, as Tito and Muraco had reasonable chemistry with another and this got four whole minutes to actually build to a finish. Muraco thought he had it won with his feet on the ropes, only for Tito to reverse into a small package and move on. Now Tito should have got the babyface run on the night! Oh well. *1/2

Round 1: Paul Orndorff def. Bob Orton via DQ (6:30)

Now this match actually has some import beyond the tournament, as Orndorff turned babyface (for a little while, at least) against Piper and Orton following WrestleMania. As such, this is the best match of the first round, even with Orton's classic non-finish with the cast. Orton was a sneaky underrated heel actually, doing a lot of the simple stuff really well. *3/4

Quarter Final: The Dynamite Kid def. Adrian Adonis (5:27)

Hell yeah, a Dynamite run in the Wrestling Classic! Okay, it was another dopey heel finish with Adonis colliding with Jimmy Hart to lead to a flukey win for the underdog, but this match was pretty good and Adonis was a great bumper, even for a smaller guy. As far as pure athleticism was concerned, nobody could touch Dynamite in this era. **1/4

Quarter Final: Randy Savage def. Ricky Steamboat (3:19)

This is like a cool trailer for their absolute classic a few years later (more on that in another review) and oh boy, these boys were working. As usual, Savage bumps like a madman for Steamboat's high-speed offense and the match becomes this amazing flurry of chaos for a little bit. Then Savage pulls gets the brass knuckles (not a finish I know him for that well) and cheats Steamboat out of the tournament. About as good as you're going to get in this length of time. **1/2

Quarter Final: Junkyard Dog def. Moondog Spot (0:45)

In a bizarre twist, the referee forgets to show up for this one and JYD has to count the fall himself after a headbutt. Two DUDs in two for Spot, by the way! DUD

Quarter Final: Paul Orndorff vs. Tito Santana was fought to a double count out (8:06)

Face vs. face battle, baby! This wasn't too awful, but Orndorff was a bit of a stiff and this lacked the riotous energy of Tito's best matches around this time. There's also no way they were having either of the guys beat either, given their respective positions in 1985, so a shitty count out finish it is to eliminate both men from the tournament. *1/4

WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) def. Roddy Piper via DQ (7:14)

To think, WCW played this back as a main event over a decade later. And then they sort of feuded again in 2003! This is pretty typical of the house show matches they had, where Piper wouldn't job and they had to come up with some non-finish to protect both guys. In this case it's Bob Orton getting involved, following a broadly chaotic match with a big ref bump. The crowd was eating this up like hot chips though. **1/2

Post-match, Orndorff makes the save, as his brotherhood with Hogan strengthens. Oh Hulk, you never learn do you.

Semi-Final: Randy Savage def. The Dynamite Kid (4:52)

This whole show is like a prophecy of WWE Speed, isn't it. Easy match of the night here, as your most athletic, underdog babyface takes on your most athletic heat-seeking coward, which makes for a great dynamic. We even finish with a high spot, as Kid gets the top-rope suplex on Savage, only to get rolled up for a three-count. See, they no sold big moves back in the day too! What I'd have given for five more minutes of this. ***

Someone wins a car. Cool!

Final: Junkyard Dog def. Randy Savage via count out (9:44)

I know everyone loved him, and this was a better option than putting a belt on him or something, but man did JYD *not need* this tournament win. Not that it really mattered Savage lost, anyway. Randy just about drags an acceptable match out of JYD, and even takes a sick bump to the floor for his trouble, but that leads to the count out and JYD takes home the tournament in the most uneventful final I've ever seen. *3/4

Overall

A forerunner, of sorts, to the King of the Ring PPV that would be introduced eight years later, The Wrestling Classic is one-of-a-kind in the sense that it only happened, you know, once. Unlike the next major tournament show WWF would run, which was interminably long and boring, this at least had the grace to move by relatively quickly and had a higher standard of performances overall (even if most of the tournament matches are very short).

The pick of the bunch is Randy Savage vs. Dynamite Kid, which is about as good of a five-minute match as you can probably imagine. Hogan vs. Piper was also decent enough, despite the inevitable the non-finish. This is not a good show overall, to be clear, but I didn't hate it. 4/10.

 

[ChristianCaged]

WrestleMania 2

Date: 7 April 1986
Locations: Nassau Coliseum; Uniondale, NY / Rosemont Horizon; Rosemont, IL / LA Memorial Sports Arena; Los Angeles, CA
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Susan St. James / Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund & Cathy Lee Crosby / Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes & Elvira

Okay, just typing out the locations and commentators for this show has tired me out! WrestleMania was, quite obviously, a successful event, lighting the touchpaper for what would quickly become the WWF's golden era of mainstream success and cultural cache, much of which still exists to this day. Like plenty of movie sequels though, bigger doesn't mean better (if anything, it means worse).

We kick this three-location car crash off in New York, where Vince is joined by Susan St. James. She's an actress, apparently. In her defence, she's comfortably the best of the mostly uniformed celebrities they have commentating across this show, and actually seems pretty into the action. So there's one positive, I guess?

Ray Charles kicks us off with a stirring version of America the Beautiful, its debut at the granddaddy of them all.

Paul Orndorff fought Magnificent Muraco to a double count out (4:10)

My version of this show (Netflix) cuts out Orndorff being at least two flavours of racist before the match, in case you were wondering. I'm not sure what's worse, that or this opener. Without thinking about it too much, I feel pretty certain this is a contender for the worst WM opener of all time. Not that I would expect these guys to have a classic or anything, but this was egregiously awful. To make it even more embarrassing, both guys get counted out, but they cut backstage before the finish can even be announced so nobody (including Vince) has an idea what happened. Nice! DUD

In

tercontinental Championship: Randy Savage (c) def. George Steele (5:10)

Savage is being particularly mean to Elizabeth before this one. I don't think a domestic abuse dynamic would fly these days, as iconic as the Savage/Liz story and relationship from 1985-91 is. George Steele chases Savage around for a lot of this match, so it's not the most action-packed affair. We even get some tomfoolery from Macho, who goes as far as hiding under the ring to get away from the big ape. He even sells for some flowers! In the end, he outsmarts Steele, using the ropes to pin him. A watchable soap opera. *1/2

Don't feel too bad for George, as he treats himself to a second(!) turnbuckle post-match and then terrifies a referee. It's a hard life.

Jake Roberts def. George Wells (3:15)

This is practically a Superstars match on WrestleMania (Wells was a complete jobber), which feels a little cheeky, but the goal here is to get Roberts over as a heel and make him seem all kinds of dangerous. I'm not sure it really achieves that goal, as Wells arguably gets too much in (head-scissors!), but it's a pretty good enhancement match otherwise, and of course George gets to meet Damian after the bell. **

Duelling promos now from Piper and Mr. T, as they prepare to settle the score!

Mr. T def. Roddy Piper via DQ (R4) in a Boxing Match (13:14)

Where to even begin with this. First round goes to Mr. T, but Piper rallies in the second and even knocks T down, giving him a kick for good measure (hey, it's not a *real* boxing match). The most exciting moment comes in the third round, when Piper gets fully yeet-ed out of the ring (although a replay makes this worked punch look a little shitty). Round four is just pure chaos, with a stall being thrown, unprotected punches and a bodyslam from Piper which leads to the DQ. My review makes it sound somewhat interesting, but I promise you, it wasn't. Can't really rate this as it doesn't look anything like a wrestling match until the end. N/R

That's it for New York, and what a shit-sandwich they were served. I genuinely wouldn't open my curtains to watch this portion of the show.

We head to suburban Chicago now for part two, where Gorilla and Gene are joined by another minor celebrity in Cathy Lee Crosby. Fun fact, she once dated Richard Roundtree! Yes, Shaft!

Women's Championship: The Fabulous Moolah (c) def. Velvet McIntyre (1:25)

Moolah briefly came out of retirement around this time. I guess she needed a break from exploiting people. Anyway, this is really bad. Moolah basically eviscerates poor Velvet and then lies on top of her to win the match. Barely a contest. N/R

Corporal Kirchner def. Nikolai Volkoff in a Flag Match (2:05)

So the flags are basically irrelevant here, it's just a normal match. They somehow manage to squeeze a ref bump into two minutes here, which is kind of beast. Kirchner uses Blassie's cane against Niko and that brings us the pin. Well, this is a good start. 1/4*

Andre the Giant won a 20-Man WWF/NFL Battle Royal (9:13)

This is treated like some iconic match (Refrigerator got a HOF induction out of it!) but it's really just an average battle royal with some NFL players. I have to say though, it's not the worst use of celebrities on this show. To be fair to Perry, him pulling Studd over the top rope out of pure pettiness is the type of shithousery I love to see. This is also Bret's WM debut, as he gets the honour of the being the last guy Andre hurls out (literally) to win yet another Battle Royal. N/R

World Tag Team Championships: The British Bulldogs def. The Dream Team (c) (13:03)

Here comes the Bulldogs, with Matilda, Captain Lou and Ozzy Osbourne. Nice! The Dream Team were Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake of course, perhaps the most mismatched team in terms of talent ever. Fortunately for us, Valentine works like 80% of the match for the heel team. No wonder they lost! This is a good, not great, formula tag, with Valentine doing most of the bumping around (when he's not hitting sick piledrivers), and Brutus stepping in occasionally to even the odds. The Bulldogs get the win though through a neat little finish, with Davey battering Valentine's head into Dynamite's to earn a pin fall. Of course Brutus didn't job. ***1/4

At last, something worth watching!

With that, we head over to LA for the final part of the show. Ventura was heeling it up at this point and is joined by Lord Alfred (who he bullies for most of the hour) and Elvira (who is bad but in an almost entertaining way).

Ricky Steamboat def. Hercules Hernandez (7:27)

WM debut here for Herc, who still had his last name at this point. He would go on to be the quintessential monster heel who most of the babyfaces could overcome to make themselves look better. Funnily enough, that's exactly the role he plays here. This is actually a really solid big vs. little man match, as Steamboat is all fire and energy, while Hercules shows off his strength with some pretty impressive power moves. In the end, this was going Steamboat's way as he had all the momentum in the midcard, while Herc was only ever going to be a gatekeeper. A flying crossbody finishes it. **1/2

"Adorable" Adrian Adonis def. Uncle Elmer (3:01)

So Adonis is now decked in pink with blonde hair, as his short-lived, but arguably most famous gimmick, comes to life. He's up against one of the resident hillbilly faces at the time, Uncle Elmer, a wrestler with almost no discernible features beyond being fat. Adonis does his best to bump around and make this guy look good, before getting a surprisingly clean win after taking advantage of Elmer's clumsiness. 1/2*

Terry Funk & Hoss Funk def. Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana (11:42)

The Funk Brothers teaming up in my glorious Fed! In all seriousness, this is a pretty good match, if only because Terry is one of the best agents of chaos in wrestling ever and manages to turn this regular contest into a total brawl wherever he possibly can. This mode suits JYD way more than any match that keeps him between the ropes. We even get a slam on a table outside the ring! As usual around this time, Funk wasn't one to stick around for long, but there was so much potential in his mid-eighties WWF run that they left on the table. Terry bashes JYD over the head with the megaphone and that seals it. ***

We then get a flashback to one of the very first big in-ring angles on Saturday Night's Main Event, as King Kong Bundy and Muraco combine to destroy Hogan, Bundy sending him to the hospital with a series of avalanches and splashes. Heat!

WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) def. King Kong Bundy in a Steel Cage Match (11:00)

Fun fact, this is the last cage match on WWF PPV until 1990! Hogan comes out all taped up around his ribs, which Bundy promptly tears off as we launch into the usual Hogan vs. monster formula. It wasn't totally run into the ground at this point, I suppose. This isn't a great WM main event (it's lower tier for sure), but there's been far worse. Bundy even gets some nice colour after a collision with the cage, which gives Hogan the impetus to get back into the match. Then Bundy takes control again and hits the avalanche, but it's time to HULK UP and go home as Hogan slams him and promptly escapes (despite Heenan's meddling) to retain the belt. Not too bad. **1/4

Before we get the first classic Hulk celebration, Heenan gets his just desserts as Hogan launches him around the ring, before hurling him out the cage to receive the adulation of the fans. I hate Hogan as much as the next guy, but there's still a thrill to hearing the song play and the fans go wild for him.

Overall

On paper, this card isn't any worse than WrestleMania the previous year (in fact, it's probably slightly better), but the three-act structure, and the fact that the first half of the show is so terrible, just totals it. There's also the fragmented commentary and a lot of production flubs to put up with. Most importantly though, this doesn't have the luxury of being the first WrestleMania, so it doesn't get any points for historical value.
2/10.

 

[Sky]

Just a heads up, black text breaks this thread for people like me who use dark mode. If you want to remove text colour you have to use the little eraser in the bottom right here

 

[ChristianCaged]

Just a heads up, black text breaks this thread for people like me who use dark mode. If you want to remove text colour you have to use the little eraser in the bottom right hereView attachment 91279

Legend, thank you! I'll fix this right away

 

[ChristianCaged]

WrestleMania III

Date: 29 March 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome; Pontiac, MI
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

By 1987, WWF had begun to shed much of the old-school wrasslin' presentation, modernising the product into the cartoonish, Saturday-morning style most would associate with the company's golden era. WrestleMania III (still, I would argue, the biggest American wrestling show of all time) was the launchpad for the WWF's boom into the latter stages of the 1980s. Not only did millions of people purchase this show on PPV, but around one million went in person to theaters and cinemas to see it. When you adjust all the necessary numbers, this event was just monumental. Let's get into it!

Vince kicks us off in the ring, before handing over to the legendary Aretha Franklin to sign "America the Beautiful". Easily the most iconic pre-WrestleMania performance of all time. With no time to spare, the competitors for the opening match are already in the ring!

The Can-Am Connection def. Bob Orton & Magnificent Muraco (5:37)

The Can-Am Connection was Rick Martel and Tom Zenk, one of whom would go on to have a fairly successful midcard run in the WWF, and the other in WCW as "The Z-Man". In fact, this is Zenk's solitary PPV appearance with the WWF. Long before "Arrogance", Martel and Zenk were pure white meat babyfaces, and they're just balls of energy here against the stout, meaty partnership of Orton and Muraco. It's kind of like DIY vs. The Revival, but nowhere near as long or exciting. This is a decent opener though, as the teams match up well and the crowd love to see the heels outpaced and unprepared for the flying offense of their opponents. Following a short heat segment (this is too short to play out the formula in its entirety), Martel gets the tag and finishes with a crossbody. I think this would be the last time Orton wrestled on a WWF PPV until 2006! **1/4

Backstage, Heenan and Hercules crank up the mind games with Billy Jack Haynes (another one and done from this show as far as this series is concerned). Then one of the best things about this show emerges, as wrestlers approach the ring on little ring-shaped carts. Awesome!

Billy Jack Haynes fought Hercules to a double count out (7:44)

I know some people quite like this match, and there are some impressive power moves on display, but Haynes was all muscle and no expression, and he's a pretty tough babyface to root for to be honest. Hercules also didn't have his best outing here, although I liked him most of the time. The story of the match was whether Hercules could break Haynes' signature full nelson (the Hurt Lock, for those younger fans out there) and in the end he doesn't, but as Haynes ends up outside the ring with it locked in, we get a double count out. Besides the fact this feud would continue on house shows (still a major source of income) and they didn't want to kill it, I see no reason for the crap finish. *

Better than the match itself is the aftermath, as Hercules clocks Haynes with his chain and draws blood. I guess that answers my query about the crappy finish.

Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid & Little Beaver def. King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook via DQ (3:25)

Is there a steeper fall from one WrestleMania to the next than King Kong Bundy's here? From the main event to a minis match in a year, tough break. Funnier than that is the finish, in which Bundy gets disqualified for trying to murder one of the little guys, and then they all gang up on him (even his partners). For that reason alone, I can't zero out on this. 1/4*

Backstage, Randy Savage won't let Elizabeth be interviewed. Bastard! We also get a hype package for the next match.

Harley Race def. Junkyard Dog (4:22)

Harley Race was King of the Ring around this time, and arrives in regal costume with not only Heenan, but Moolah on tow. I guess every king needs an evil queen! This was a "loser must bow" match, pitting the King against lowly JYD. Most of the match is just JYD beating the stuffing out of Race, who is past his best here but still one of the best bumpers around. The crowd really gets into the ass-kicking but the match itself is average and never gets going. It ends in a screwy way of course, as Heenan causes a distraction and allows Race to hit JYD with a suplex (which is enough to keep someone down, apparently). *1/4

JYD is actually a pretty poor sport after the match, barely bowing and then proceeding to resume the ass-kicking on Race. Hogan waffles on backstage, but it's not quite as ridiculous as his Trump Plaza swimming promo from a year later.

The Dream Team def. The Rougeaus (4:03)

Not yet fabulous, The Rougeaus were babyfaces here against well-worn heels The Dream Team (although not for much longer). One of my least favourite wrestlers ever, Dino Bravo, is also in the corner of the Dream Team, despite their opponents being French-Canadian like him. There really isn't anything to this match besides the finish and post-match angle. Bravo gets involved, allowing Valentine to pin Jacques, which Beefcake is suddenly too valorous to accept, despite being a heel for years. The Dream Team leave him behind looking sad. Don't worry Brutus, you're not done tonight just yet. For the limited action we got, this was fine. *1/2

Backstage, we go over the fact that tonight will be Roddy Piper's "retirement" match. He's a face now and forever more basically, in case that wasn't obvious. He's not leaving with Adrian Adonis' hair though (insert Denzel meme)!

Roddy Piper def. Adrian Adonis in a Hair vs. Hair Match (6:33)

The crowd is great for most of this show, but they really come alive for this. That's not surprising, considering Piper's popularity, and how rampant homophobia still was in 1987. There's nothing technical about this match, as it turns into a brawl almost immediately, and Adonis is on the end of most of the bumps. Jimmy Hart doesn't get away clean either. Eventually Adonis gets on top and applies his sleeper hold, and it looks like he's won. Cue Brutus Beefcake's re-arrival, as he turns babyface and revives Piper. We quickly go to a finish and Piper goes out on a high. He'd be back of course fairly quickly, after his planned Hollywood career fizzled out. **1/2

Post-match, Brutus earns his new gimmick by chopping away at Adonis' blonde locks, while Jimmy Hart watches on in horror. I always found the hair-cutting routine quite grotesque and heel-ish, to be honest.

The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis def. Tito Santana & The British Bulldogs (8:52)

By 1987, the Harts had ascended to the peak of the tag team division and went into WMIII as champions. This is actually the best match so far, but I can't help but wish we had got a straight-up, Harts vs. Bulldogs classic here instead of a pretty decent six-man. Danny Davis is of course the dodgy ref who started screwing the babyfaces and ultimately became a heel wrestler, only to go back to being a ref a few years later. He wasn't great in the ring, but he had the charisma for the role. I don't have too much to say about the match itself, apart from that it's well worked and they build nicely to Tito's beating of Davis. As usual though, the satisfaction of the hot babyface getting their hands on the heel is tempered by a dirty finish, using Hart's megaphone. **3/4

Backstage, Heenan does all the talking as Andre looks mean.

Butch Reed def. Koko B. Ware (3:39)

Two PPV debuts in one here, although the loser ends up having the longevity in the company. Reed is perhaps best known as one half of DOOM. As usual with Koko matches on PPV, this is just an elevated enhancement match, and Reed dispatches the Bird Man in around three minutes without much fuss. I can't say this was a compelling squash, though. 3/4*

Now we go back to see Savage crushing Steamboat's throat on the railing, giving us some personal heat to go along with the babyface title chase.

Intercontinental Championship: Ricky Steamboat def. Randy Savage (14:35)

I accept some folks' reservations with this match, as it is true that a lot of the hatred going into this is passed up for the classic contest it quickly becomes. I'm sorry though, it's just brilliant, moving at a pace that might as well be light-speed for the period. There are numerous near-falls throughout, as this doesn't do the usual thing longer matches do, in terms of building to the false finishes. The whole match is practically that sequence. And I'll be damned, it's exhilarating. Down the stretch, they do ramp up the drama with some classic bells and whistles. The ref goes down, which denies Savage the win, only for Steele to come out and take Macho's eye off the ball. After getting shoved of the top by the Animal (this match is basically the blow-off to that whole story too), Savage can't connect the body slam on Steamboat, who cradles him for the pin and the title. A glorious match, which maybe need to go through one more gear (and perhaps get a bit nastier) to earn all five of my stars. ****3/4

Jake Roberts (now a much-loved babyface, with a finishing move people went crazy for) is joined by Alice Cooper backstage.

The Honky Tonk Man def. Jake Roberts (7:04)

A PPV debut here for Honky Tonk, who despite his somewhat limited skill in-ring quickly became one of the most reviled heels in the business. It makes sense, as almost everything he does is infuriatingly annoying! This is actually a pretty big upset, as Jake also had a ton of momentum and nobody would have had Honky pegged as winner. The match is pretty average, but the crowd are still with it after the drama of the last match, and the result propelled Honky to being the top midcard heel. **

Post-match, Roberts and Cooper get their heat back by unleashing Damian on Jimmy Hart. After that Mean Gene announces the obviously fake attendance that has pretty much been totally debunked at this point.

Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Sheik def. The Killer Bees via DQ (5:44)

I was about to call this the Killer Bees' PPV debut, but I'm pretty sure they're in the WWF/NFL battle royal at WM2. Before we even get started, Jim Duggan is down at ringside to interrupt the Soviet national anthem. Hooooo! This is just a cool-down match before the main event, and it's pretty damn boring, with generic heel heat and not much support for the babyfaces. This all ends up in a non-finish anyway, as Sheik gets the Camel Clutch on, only for Duggan to attack him and cause the DQ. What's funny is these guys were actually buddies and got into trouble together later in the year, briefly getting fired. 1/2*

It's time to hype the main event now, as we get the full run-down of events leading up to this, from the initial betrayal of Hogan by Andre and the blood down the chest to their contract signing.

WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) def. Andre the Giant (12:01)

Look, how do you even rate this match? For me, it's the biggest American wrestling match of all time or, to put it another way, the closest the sport has got to something like Ali vs. Frazier or any other major boxing match that transcends culture. For that reason alone, I can't give it minus stars of whatever, even though the action is extremely limited by Andre's functional issues, and much of it is just Andre crushing Hogan with dull rest holds. Then you have to consider the sheer spectacle of watching this as part of that massive crowd. Even at home, it feels like time stops when Hogan and Andre face down for the first time. Then you get to the finish, and the pop when Hogan hits the body slam is from another dimension. As a match, I'd give it a generous one star. As a spectacle, it's a five-star match, without a doubt. So fair is fair, I'll call it down the middle. ***

Hogan gets his big celebration in front of the huge stadium crowd, and we're outta here.

Overall

The sheer scale of this show, as well a massive upgrade in production value, pacing and the quality of the roster, make this a huge improvement on previous WrestleMania events in pretty much every department. It's not a particularly special show from a match quality standpoint, although Savage vs. Steamboat is a bonafide classic, and there are some other decent matches up and down the card.

The main event certainly divides opinion, but it's undoubtedly iconic. There's lots of other nice touches on this show too, not least the little rings people enter in. This was also one of the finest performances Monsoon and Ventura ever had together on commentary. A very good show by all accounts, but a 'great' show for the time. 8/10

 

[Chris]

Legend, thank you! I'll fix this right away

Yeah just to follow up, never use black or white text in general, always do remove formatting like she showed you and then it'll normalize for either skins

 

[ChristianCaged]

Survivor Series 1987

Date: 26 November 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum; Richfield Township, OH
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

In 1987, a Thanksgiving tradition was born with the advent of the Survivor Series, a new team-based format that would be the foundation of WWE's second-longest running PPV event. Following the success of WrestleMania III, Vince McMahon continued to stack the company's roster, with this show introducing us to Golden Era legends like Demolition, Rick Rude and Jim Duggan (this was his first PPV match for the company). Of course, this show took place directly opposite Jim Crockett's Starrcade, as Vince made the ultimate power play to screw over his rival. Let's get into it!

Gorilla and Jesse kicked off the show, explaining the rules of a Survivor Series match before handing over to the broadcast team backstage for the classic team interviews. Honky Tonk Man, now IC champion after beating Steamboat for the title, leads one group, while recently-turned babyface Randy Savage captains the other. Oh yeah, DIG IT!

Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake & Jim Duggan def. The Honky Tonk Man, Hercules, Harley Race, Ron Bass & Danny Davis in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (23:38)

I'm no fan whatsoever of Duggan or Beefcake, but you can't deny the top-tier star power of that babyface team. And this was the "midcard" match! Despite the level of talent on board for this one, I thought it was pretty disappointing. Duggan and Race got double-eliminated early for brawling outside the ring and getting counted out, which was a fine way to dump Duggan without him having to job (that would become a theme for most of his WWF career). However, we then get a long segment on Beefcake, while all of his actually-talented partners stand and watch. Brutus gets an elimination on Bass (a very un-federation wrestler, if ever there was one) but ultimately gets eliminated by Honky. That's a collector's item as Beefcake barely ever jobbed either! Once this got down to Honky, Davis and Herc vs. Macho, Steamboat and Roberts it improved a lot. The IC champion ends up being the last remaining member of his team after Davis and Hercules get eliminated, so he decides to cut his losses and leave with Jimmy Hart, avoiding further punishment. That's a lousy but characteristic finish to this match. **1/2

Backstage now, as Andre and Heenan fire up their troops for the main event.

The Jumping Bomb Angels, The Fabulous Moolah, Velvet McIntyre & Rockin' Robin def. The Glamour Girls, Sensational Sherri, Donna Christanello & Dawn Marie in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (20:17)

Firstly, it's not *that* Dawn Marie. She would have been 17/18 years old at the time. Secondly, it's kind of wild they gave the women's division twenty minutes when calling them an afterthought at this time is probably sugar-coating the reality. Thirdly, Moolah is a babyface here and 64 years old! The babyfaces get the edge early in this one, as Christanello and Marie are dumped out of the match, only for Sherri to eliminate Robin and pull the heels back into it. Moolah is next to go, which is a good thing, as she has some evil deeds to attend to. Sherri then gets eliminated by Velvet McIntyre, marking the end of the first of two PPV matches in her WWF run. Kai of the Glamour Girls (she lost the Women's Title at the first WM to Wendi Richter) pins Velvet and we're down to two on each team. The best part of the match is, of course, the Jumping Bomb Angels, who are so far ahead of the other ladies that nobody can really keep up with them. It ends up being a clean sweep for them, as they eliminate Kai and finish Judy Martin with an aerial clothesline to win the match. The crowd absolutely loved these two, who must have seemed like they were from another dimension based on how they worked. Overall, not so bad. **

More interviews now, as Jimmy Hart leads his Hart boys and the rest of their heel gang out to face Strike Force (Santana and Martel, now tag team champions) and their team.

The Killer Bees, The Young Stallions, Strike Force, The British Bulldogs & The Rougeaus def. The Hart Foundation, Demolition, The Islanders, The Dream Team & The Bolsheviks in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (37:14)

Look, I know some people hate the 10-on-10 Survivor Series matches they ran for the tag team division in the early days of this PPV, and I can accept the argument that 20 men surrounding a ring is borderline ridiculous. Just look at this tag team division, though. At a bare minimum, the Harts, the Bulldogs, Demolition and Strike Force are all legendary teams, while the likes of the Rougeaus were a really solid duo throughout their babyface and heel run. And while enjoy the version of this match from 1988 far more (now that is a crazy lineup), this is easily the best match on this show. Rules are that one member of a team goes, so does the other. Naturally, the Bolsheviks are the first to go, after which things really get going, as we see various combinations of current and future greats go at it in sequence.

The Rougeaus are the first babyfaces to bite it, and then the Young Stallions get worked over by the heels a bit. One thing I'll never understand is why Roma and Powers, i.e., a job team with muscles, got such a push in this match. Demolition then get themselves disqualified for being too awesome (and hitting the ref). Interestingly, the Hart Foundation get some revenge of Strike Force, with Neidhart pinning Tito to knock the champions out. There's a bit of an extended period now without an elimination, which probably could have been shortened. Eventually, the Bulldogs are eliminated by the Islanders (Haku and some other guy), while Roma pulls off an upset and pins Greg Valentine (now firmly a midcarder forever more in WWF). Two teams left a piece then, as we get another upset with the Bees eliminating the Harts. I guess they were trying to be unpredictable with this to sell the "anything can happen" deal? Jim Brunzell pinning Bret Hart on PPV is funny in retrospect. That just leaves the Islanders to fend for themselves, and a bit of Bees' trickery (one wears a mask to sneakily switch the legal man out, fooling the referee) wins it for the babyfaces. Very strange booking there, but a fun match that got lots of time. ***

Following this match, we get a recap of all the classic Million Dollar Man vignettes and segments, yes! This was such a well-worn gimmick by the time DiBiase left for WCW that you could be forgiven for forgetting how awesome an act it was at the start.

Honky Tonk Man is out to give a promo, saying he hasn't been defeated. Well, not conclusively anyway. Backstage, Hogan and his acolytes deliver a psyched-up promo to get the blood pumping for the main event. Between Hogan, Orndorff and Muraco, I'm sure there was some sort of substance pumping through the blood.

Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang, Rick Rude & Butch Reed def. Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Paul Orndorff & Ken Patera in a Survivor Series Elimination Match (24:07)

Damn, that's one meaty heel team right there. You're talking about 2,000 pounds collectively. As such, this isn't a particularly exciting or fast-paced match. Hogan eliminates Reed quickly, before OMG evens it up by eliminating Patera (who looks very old here). Things get worse for Hogan's lads, as Orndorff (who had quickly slipped down the roster since his second face turn in three years) gets rolled up by a debuting Rick Rude (sans cool tights) and eliminated. Clearly Rude wasn't pegged for an immediate push either, as the no-longer-magnificent Don Muraco, now under Superstar Billy Graham's tutelage as "The Rock", pins him following a power slam. I should reiterate that between all of these eliminations, the pace is very slow. Muraco is next to go, as we're down to just Hogan and Bam Bam on the face team, versus the massive trio of Andre, Bundy and OMG. Bigelow is the recipient of the heat, until Hogan gets the hot tag. This takes us out onto the floor, where Hogan brawls with Bundy and ends up getting himself counted out. Well, it was either that or him winning, I suppose. Now on his own, Bam Bam gets quite the run eliminating both Bundy and OMG, but Andre is too strong for him and pins him after an awkward suplex. A very plodding contest, but the crowd went crazy for the big moments and it was fairly inoffensive. **1/4

Of course Andre doesn't get to celebrate, as Hogan is back to sock him over the head with the WWF belt, keeping their feud warm for the big rematch of WMIII at "The Main Event".

Overall

I would call this first iteration of Survivor Series a mixed bag. The main upside is the new concept, which was fresh and had the great visual appeal of having a bunch of stars working together. It also allowed for longer matches at a time when sub-10-minutes was the standard for all but your top bouts.

That's a bit of a double-edged sword though, as the opener proves. It's great when Savage and Steamboat are in there, but Honky Tonk Man working a five-minute heat segment on Brutus Beefcake is less exciting. The best match on the show is certainly the 20-man tag team elimination match. It's the longest match, but has the fastest pace and is pretty fun to watch. Altogether, it's nothing essential, and the first few years of Survivor Series is effectively a house show with none of the matches having any major implications. 5/10.

Next time, I review Royal Rumble 1988 (yes, I know it wasn't a PPV)!

 

[ChristianCaged]

Royal Rumble 1988

Date: 24 January 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum; Hamilton, ON, Canada
Commentary: Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura

First things first: I’m well aware this wasn’t a PPV event. After Survivor Series 1987, when WWF went head-to-head with NWA Starrcade, Vince decided to screw with Jim Crockett once again, scheduling the very first Royal Rumble event (a cable television special) to counter the NWA’s ill-fated Bunkhouse Stampede PPV. Crockett would get some measure of revenge a few months later, scheduling the first Clash of the Champions event to counter WrestleMania IV, but the writing was on the wall in terms of the NWA’s competitiveness with the WWF.

A bit of a switch-up on the commentary desk (although I suppose this isn’t a PPV), as Vince and Jesse welcome us to the show.

Ricky Steamboat def. Rick Rude via DQ (17:39)

Ricky only has a few months left in this run, while Rude is slowly putting together the various components of his iconic “Ravishing” gimmick, with the robe, airbrushed tights and male stripper theme music. In a way then, this match is a kind of sliding doors moment for the WWF’s upper-midcard. Most people don’t like this match at all, and I’ll grant the haters that Rude and Steamboat would have better matches down the line in WCW, but I really enjoy this one. It has a bit of a glacial pace at times, but Steamboat sells Rude’s heat so damn well and the fire in his comebacks never fails to delight me. This could have been pretty great if they shaved a few minutes off some of the longer rest holds, especially as it really kicks into the gear in the final quarter, before a ref bump and disappointing DQ finish gives Steamboat a victory. Rude would keep going on to bigger and better things though. ***3/4

Oh, here we go, the segment everybody was waiting for. Dino Bravo is now a solo and being managed by Frenchy Martin, following the demise of The Dream Team. I think Jimmy Hart picked up Greg Valentine’s contract from Johnny Valiant. Now Bravo is ‘roided to the gills and is about to perform a bench press challenge, hoping to set a world record or whatever. Jesse is also on hand to administer everything. This is so long and boring that a few people may have actually order the NWA PPV last-minute just so they could watch something else. Eventually, Bravo does succeed, although Jesse clearly helps and nobody is officially recording this crap anyway.

Women’s Tag Team Championships: The Jumping Bomb Angels def. The Glamour Girls © 2-1 in a Two out of Three Falls Match (15:00)

Some people may be surprised to discover that women’s tag belts existed in the 1980s, but here we are. To be fair, it was an incredibly short lineage, and after the Angels dropped the titles back to the Glamour Girls later in 1988, they would basically be forgotten and ultimately abandoned by 1989. For now though, we have this match. The Angels were a real highlight of the first ever Survivor Series, so Vince decided to bring them back, and unsurprisingly this is way better than it has any right to be. Besides some of the Blayze/Nakano matches in the mid-nineties, this may even be the best women’s match of WWF PPV until the new millennium. Yamazaki and Tateno just flying around hurling offense at the heels, without ever taking a lot of heat, so this ends up being a fun and breezy party match (at least for the time). Once again, the crowd loved these girls too, even if Vince needed an assistant to remind him of their names at one point. I’ll give Kai and Martin some credit too, as they flopped around and took a lot of shit to make the Angels look like stars. A double dropkick decided the match, giving the Angels the belts. ***

As if we needed another reminder this is a TV special, we get another segment, although this is a more significant one than Bravo lifting weights. With their rematch at The Main Event approaching, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant are here to sign the contract. This is not totally different from the contract signings we see today, although Andre just tips a table onto Hogan to finish it instead of hurling him through it. DiBiase was in great form for this one.

Jim Duggan wins the 20-Man Royal Rumble, last eliminating One Man Gang (33:00)

A pretty historic match here that very few people of a certain age have probably seen. This is basically the trial run for the marquee match we all know and love (most of the time, at least). I usually break my thoughts on a Royal Rumble into thirds, but that’s a lot harder with 20 people so here are some cliff notes. Bret Hart and Tito Santana started the match, which is a pretty damn good opening duo! Then Butch Reed, Bret’s partner Anvil, and Jake Roberts (huge pop!) enter before Reed becomes the first man in history to be eliminated from a Royal Rumble. I hope they didn’t leave that out of his obit.

The ring then fills up with a bunch more people (Harley Race and a bunch of job guys like Sam Houston), as this starts to feel more like a regular battle royal. Eventually Tito is tossed before that crooked referee Danny Davis arrives (and ends up getting a really long run). A bit later on we get our first botch, as Muraco and Volkoff get their entry order mixed up. Nikolai’s partner Boris is tossed and then eventual winner Duggan enters at lucky number 13. Next to go is Killer Bee, Jim Brunzell, which is sad as Brian B. Blair is out next and just misses his pal. Hillbilly Jim enters next and quickly eliminates Anvil. Monster run for Jim, hell yeah! Dino Bravo is next out, clearly not too tired from pretending to lift weights. Houston goes and then we get to meet The Ultimate Warrior, who is a very nascent version of the gimmick at this point but still juiced up like all hell. Hart is next to go after entering at the start, setting an early standard for the Royal Rumble Iron Man record at 25 minutes and 42 seconds. One Man Gang is in next and gets a few eliminations as you’d expect, throwing out Blair and Jake Roberts (boo!). JYD is the last entrant.

With a pretty busy ring still left, eliminations start coming thicker and faster, as Duggan eliminated Volkoff, while OMG eliminates Hillbilly Jim and Warrior! Maybe that push wasn’t in the plans just yet as it was pretty innocuous exit for him and he didn’t eliminate anyone. More surprises next as JYD (who was something of a favourite for a match like this) is booted by Ron Bass of all people, only for Bass himself to get eliminated. That leaves us with our first final four: Don Muraco, Jim Duggan, Dino Bravo and One Man Gang. This essentially devolves into a tag team match, as faces Muraco and Duggan go head-to-head with OMG and Bravo. Muraco is the first casualty, leaving Duggan in a handicap situation. That big dufus OMG gets outsmarted though, accidentally eliminating Bravo, before being tossed himself to give Duggan the honour of being the first Rumble winner. Not that it really counted for anything at this point.

Overall, an interesting prototype of the Rumble matches to come and better than some of those ended up being. The formula clearly wasn’t finessed at this stage but this was an experiment and largely successful one at that. The fact it was only a 20-man also made it pass by quickly, although they could have stacked it with better talent. **1/2

Hogan gives an interview after this, claiming that Andre will have to beat everyone in the arena at The Main Event to win the belt. I can think of another way.

The Islanders def. The Young Stallions 2-0 in a Two out of Three Falls Match (14:00)

At this point it’s pretty late in the night, so you could hardly call this the main event, even if it is closing the show. It’s something of a collector’s item I suppose, as you rarely see two out of three falls matches going two-zip to one team, but in reality this was just a boring, extended squash to put over the more pushed team. The first fall comes with a count out, after Roma launches himself out of the ring with the top rope being pulled down and seems injured, and a half crab eight (very long) minutes later finishes it for Haku and Tama. Not hideous viewing but pretty pointless, you can go ahead and skip this one. *1/4

That’s all folks!

Overall

It's important to review this as a TV special, rather than a PPV, but it's not a bad card on balance. I know a lot of people really don't like the Steamboat vs. Rude match from this show (admittedly, they would have better contests in WCW), but I think it's a pretty dope match with a great, battling performance from underneath by Ricky Steamboat.

The first Royal Rumble match is essentially filler, but it works as a fun experiment for the time and proves the concept works: even with less than stellar star power. The Jumping Bomb Angels' tag team title win is also a fun easter egg. I'd recommend dropping off before the Islanders vs. Stallions match, but I thought this was a decent watch. 6/10.

 

[ChristianCaged]

WrestleMania IV

Date: 27 March 1988
Location: Trump Plaza; Atlantic City, NJ
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

The WWF's golden era was in full swing at this point, as Vince continued to stack his roster and put the boot into his competitors. That doesn't mean, of course, every PPV event was going to be a sure-fire home run, as this show proves. This is of course the night of 14-man single elimination tournament to decide a new WWF Champion, after Jack Tunney held the belt up following the debacle of The Main Event, the only time that WrestleMania featured any kind of expanded tournament format (and let's be honest, thank the lord).

Live from some casino owned by Donald Trump, it's WrestleMania IV: what the world is watching! Or, in the case of this show, what they wish they weren't watching. Gladys Knight delivers a respectable version of America the Beautiful, before we get underway with a participation trophy battle royal for anyone not in the tournament or otherwise occupied.

Bad News Brown won a 20-Man Battle Royal, last eliminating Bret Hart (9:44)

There's 16 goddamn matches on this thing, so I'm going to keep this match review brief at least. It's your bog standard battle royal basically, which only gets partially interesting towards the end when the ring is just a mass of bodies. We end up with the trio of Bret Hart (still a heel at this point), a relatively fresh to the company Bad News Brown, and the always-beloved Junkyard Dog. Naturally, the heels team up on the babyface and in a rare case of logic not being defenestrated, they actually manage to eliminate him. Hart then decides he's happy to share the glory with Brown, but obviously you never trust Brown, and a Ghetto Blaster leads to Bret's elimination. No rating for a battle royal.

Post-match, Brown gets his hands on the trophy, only for Bret to decide f*** that and interrupt, destroying Brown with it. That would of course lead in to a face turn for Bret and Anvil, and Bret wouldn't be a heel again until 1997, almost a decade later. I should mention the show-long bit of Bob Uecker looking for Vanna White begins here.

Before the next match, another celebrity explains how the tournament will go down. Illuminating.

First Round: Ted DiBiase def. Jim Duggan (5:02)

DiBiase arrives with Virgil and hired good Andre the Giant here to face Duggan, who he knows pretty well from their Mid-South days. That's clear from the match itself, which is decent enough for five minutes, and DiBiase does a great job bumping around for Duggan's roughhouse offense, showing that their chemistry is still there. Duggan is actually primed to hit DiBiase with his three-point stance at one stage, until Andre gets involved. Bizarrely, the ref witnesses the whole thing and doesn't care, before Duggan does a rare job to put DiBiase through to the quarter-finals. *3/4

Backstage, Brutus is ready to carve the Honky Tonk Man's hairdo up.

First Round: Don Muraco def. Dino Bravo via DQ (4:53)

The unstoppable 'roids meet the immovable 'roids here, in a pretty ghastly match of styles that, mercifully, is kept pretty short. Muraco has the full tie-dye deal now and Billy Graham as manager. There's really nothing to this one besides turgid, basic wrestling, although there is a kick-out on a Bravo piledriver for a nice near-fall. Eventually, Dino takes one too many shortcuts, pulling the ref in his path to ultimately get himself disqualified. Bleh. 3/4*

Honky Tonk Man is backstage now, before Ricky Steamboat and BABY DRAGON arrive for the next match. This is Steamboat's last PPV match in this run and, as usual, it's a pretty good one.

First Round: Greg Valentine def. Ricky Steamboat (9:12)

As sad as it is to see Steamboat depart and go out of the tournament this early, it's also pretty cool to see Valentine get a nice win. Unlike the last match, this is very clearly a great mesh of styles, and they get nearly 10 minutes to actually build to a finish. Steamboat knows how to mix up his flying offense with the more gritty chops and strikes that characterise Hammer's style, and there's a few exchanges in this one that really get the blood pumping. In the end, Steamboat's usual finisher is his downfall, as the crossbody is reversed into a a cover that gives Valentine the win. We'll see Steamboat again in 1991 for a very brief run, followed by another in 2009. This is probably the peak of the show, to be honest. ***

Donald Trump is at ringside. Of course he got a front-row seat facing the hard cam.

First Round: Randy Savage def. Butch Reed (5:07)

Macho is here, dig it! This one is pretty brief, likely because Savage has a long night ahead of him, but I felt like Reed and Savage could have given us a bit more together than what we end up getting. Reed is actually on offense for most of this thing, but as heels often do, he becomes too pleased with himself, and Savage catches him on the rope, before ascending himself to drop the elbow and advance. *1/2

Backstage, Bob is still looking for Vanna, but takes a break to chat to Bobby Heenan ahead of his in-ring WrestleMania debut later on.

First Round: One Man Gang def. Bam Bam Bigelow via count out (2:56)

Bigelow was light on his feet and moved impressively for someone of his size, so it's a shame they couldn't do more with him in this run. Unfortunately, this match was no good, as OMG pretty much sucked at most things and Bigelow looked awkward trying to pull anything out of him. This also has a spectacularly bad finish, as Bam Bam gets counted out despite being on the apron with no way of re-entering the ring, as OMG was attacking him. Half a star for Bam Bam only. 1/2*

It's promo time again, and here we have a pretty legendary one, as Hogan goes off on a crazy tirade about earthquakes, biblical floods and dog paddling Donald Trump and his family to safety. One of the most meathead promos ever, maybe.

First Round: Rick Rude fought Jake Roberts to a time-limit draw (15:00)

Rude is in full ravishing mode at this point, complete with the "sweat hogs" promo he delivered before all of his matches. This feud would of course explode with the Cheryl Roberts stuff later in the year, but this match is like the wrestling equivalent of waffling in an essay to meet the word count. Knowing that they're going to the time limit, Rude and Roberts work an incredibly slow match, with chinlocks aplenty. It starts and ends okay, but that middle portion is just death and you really start to feel the length of the show as a whole here, as we still have three rounds and a bunch of other matches to go. Rude gets a cover towards the end but it's too late to finish it. *1/2
That's the first round done, giving us quarter finals of Andre/Hogan (who had byes), DiBiase/Muraco, Savage/Valentine and a bye to the semis for One Man Gang.

The Ultimate Warrior def. Hercules (4:29)

As at the Rumble, Warrior is still not in full garb here, but the push is brewing even if he doesn't win all that conclusively here. After a pretty drab exchange of power moves, Hercules actually manages to get Warrior tied up in the full nelson, but Warrior makes the intelligent play of hitting the corner and knocking Herc down while still in the hold. This puts Hercules shoulders to the mat beneath the Warrior, giving the latter a somewhat flukey victory. These earlier Warrior appearances can basically be forgotten, as we all know his run really kicks into overdrive at the next show. I'd say this was a pretty rubbish palette cleanser, overall. 3/4*

Following an intermission (presumably there because of how many closed-circuit viewings were going on), we're back for the quarter-finals.

Quarter-Final: Hulk Hogan fought Andre the Giant to a double DQ (5:52)

The much-anticipated rubber match in Hogan and Andre's golden era trilogy is, predictably, not very good. Andre had continued to deteriorate after getting himself into better shape for WrestleMania III, and was very limited here. This starts out okay, as Hogan enters with a lot of fire, but within a minute Andre is on top and it's just painfully boring submissions until the screwy finish that eliminates both men. After being struck by DiBiase with a chair, Hogan grabs it and waffles Andre, before Andre grabs the chair and does the same to Hogan. The ref decides he's seen enough and DQs both guys. This has none of the historical value of WMIII, and the match itself was worse too. 1/2*
Post-match, Hogan runs off DiBiase before getting back in the ring to slam Andre once again and celebrate like he's achieved something. The natural disaster he prophesied did not come to pass, fortunately. Backstage, Savage backed his Mega Powers colleague and promised to make it to the finals himself.

Quarter-Final: Ted DiBiase def. Don Muraco (5:44)

DiBiase is riding solo for this one after his involvement in the last match. Muraco is all over him early, using his power advantage to put the beating on the Million Dollar Man, but eventually DiBiase outsmarts him and gets on top. Muraco has a hope spot a bit later on, but gets caught for a top-rope stun gun and pinned thereafter. Pretty basic, forgettable match. *

OMG is out to celebrate passing right through to the semis.

Quarter-Final: Randy Savage def. Greg Valentine (6:06)

This was actually kind of disappointing, as Randy continues to save his energy and, perhaps, avoid injury. A lot of the match is just a heel beatdown, as Hammer utilises elbows and submissions to wear Macho out. Eventually Savage fought back, hitting a lot of his vintage stuff, like the axe-handle from the top. Valentine rallied though to put Savage in his not-so-patented figure-four leg lock, which Savage cleverly countered into a small package for another victory. For whatever reason, these guys just didn't hit it off, but it wasn't terrible or anything. *1/2

In other news, Vanna White finds out Bob is looking for her. I hope this storyline pleased somebody for the amount of time they're giving it.

Intercontinental Championship: Brutus Beefcake def. The Honky Tonk Man (c) via DQ (6:30)

Honky Tonk is accompanied here by not only Jimmy Hart, but Peggy Sue, who is quite clearly Sherri. I don't think it's any surprise that this isn't very good, but I will concede that Brutus was probably at the height of his popularity here and the crowd got behind him. Equally, Honky was a total heat magnet, so you can't say people didn't care about this one. The work is pretty naff though, as Honky struggles to make any of his shit look impactful, while Brutus struggles to sell any of it (not a great combo). Following a bit of a comeback, Brutus got Honky where he wanted him (in his sleeper hold), only for Jimmy Hart to knock the referee out. Brutus does satisfy himself with some barber action on Hart, before Peggy wakes up Honky and the heels scarper. It goes down as a DQ, but Brutus celebrates anyway. *1/4

Extremely famous clip here, which gives us probably the second most indelible image from this WM (just below Liz sitting with belt on Savage's shoulders), as Bob Uecker interviews a pissed-off Andre, only to get hilariously choked. They used to play that moment back in Mania promos all the time.

The Islanders & Bobby Heenan def. The British Bulldogs & Koko B. Ware (7:30)

The main story going into this one is that Heenan is scared of Matilda, the Bulldogs' pup. She was pretty well trained for the intimidation spots, I have to say. This is just a silly comedy match, as Heenan keeps popping in to put the boots to the babyfaces before swiftly exiting. That's a fun bit but not enough to make this seem like anything else but dull filler. Eventually Heenan's ploy backfires, as he gets caught in the ring with Koko. That brings the Islanders in for the save and have a 3-on-3 brawl for a bit. Eventually, the Bulldogs have to get out the ring, and the Islanders splat Bobby on Koko for the pin. Heenan wins, Heenan wins! *1/2

Heenan doesn't quite get the last laugh, as Matilda chases him out of the arena. What a poor sport that dog is! DiBiase is out next to celebrate his bye to the final, before we get on with our one semi-final match.

Semi-Final: Randy Savage def. One Man Gang via DQ (4:05)

So OMG couldn't even put Savage over here? Lame! Despite being sold as the underdog, Savage was clearly going to pass through one way or another, and this match was just a means to an end. Slick is still sore, of course, that Savage eliminated one of his other guys, so he tries to give it to Elizabeth during the match, only for her to get on the apron. At this point, with the ref's attention divided, Slick passes his cane to OMG. Unfortunately for him, he's not smart enough to throw it away before the ref turns around and gets disqualified, giving Savage a very flukey passage through to the final. Gah-bage. 1/2*

Post-match, the OMG beatdown continues, but Savage reverses and hit him with the axe-handle, sending him flying onto Slick. Splat. Our DiBiase vs. Savage final is set!

World Tag Team Championships: Demolition def. Strike Force (c) (12:33)

The crowd are pretty burned at this point, and basically decide to turn on Strike Force and cheer Demolition instead. They'd stay heel until the autumn of '88 but everybody loved them and it was just a matter of time before they turned. This is actually pretty decent, as Tito and Martel bring the energy and fiery comebacks, while Demolition play the hoss role really well. It's all very formula, with Demolition getting heat on Tito before building to the hot tag. This doesn't go so well, though, as Tito knocks out the ref out accidentally and Fuji chucks his cane (do all the managers have canes?!) to Ax to waffle Martel. This leads to a pin and new champions. Strike Force wouldn't dissolve just yet but their time at the top of the division was over here. **1/2

WWF Championship Final: Randy Savage def. Ted DiBiase (9:27)

Hogan decides he's not going to join until later, while DiBiase is flanked by Andre. We've really got to sell that Savage is in trouble here, guys. They impress the point early on, as Andre trips Savage and gives Ted the chance to work him over. Savage makes a comeback soon enough, but finds his attempts to get to DiBiase foiled by Andre. It's time to play the Hogan card, as Macho instructs Liz to run to the back and fetch our yellow friend. The action continued as Hogan finally arrives. Soon enough, him and Andre are going at it on the outside. At the same time, DiBiase gets Savage in the choke hold, which should be broken by the ropes, only for Andre to push Savage's foot off. While the ref is administering a good telling off for this, Hogan cracks Ted in the back with a chair, and Savage heads to the top for a climactic elbow drop. One, two, three, and we have a new champion. OH YEAH! As you'd expect, this was a solid but unspectacular match, somewhat bogged down by the bells and whistles outside the ring. The match was more structured around the events on the floor, rather than the action in the ring. Still, a good match by the standards of this show. **3/4

Post-match, we get the iconic celebration with that memorable image of Liz on Randy's shoulders, which is probably better than the match itself in all honesty. Hogan has to get his poses in too of course, but that doesn't totally ruin the moment. A nice end to an absolute slog of a show.

Overall

This is a poorly reviewed WrestleMania, but I don't think people are harsh enough on it! A truly interminable, punishing show with sparing few rays of light. Despite how hot the company was at this time, even the crowd is somewhat mild for this show. That may have been due to hosting it in Trump's casino, though.

On paper, the tournament format was an interesting idea. I do like that Savage had to go through four matches compared to DiBiase, who only wrestled three times, but I'm struggling for anything else. It goes on forever and I dreaded even having to watch it. I genuinely think it's one of the worst WWF/E shows of all time for the endurance test it becomes. 1/10.

 

[ChristianCaged]

SummerSlam 1988

Date: 29 August 1988
Location: Madison Square Garden; New York, NY
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Superstar Billy Graham

For the very first time, WWF hosted their annual end-of-summer PPV, capitalising on the molten-hot success of the company around this time. This is actually a pretty definitive show of this era, as the roster is stronger than ever, Andre and Hogan's feud comes to an effective head, and in one of the most memorable SummerSlam moments ever, a new legend is born. Let's get into it.

We're introduced to the show by Gorilla Monsoon and, for one night only, former WWF Champion Superstar Billy Graham, as Jesse has other business to attend to later in the evening. More on that in a bit.

The British Bulldogs fought The Fabulous Rougeaus to a time-limit draw (20:00)
I'm not sure what possessed Vince to book a 20-minute time-limit draw (between two mid-level tag teams at that) to open this show, but I'm glad he did. The Rougeaus are heels now, although they're yet to pick up Jimmy Hart as a manager and get their legendary theme song. This is a really good back-and-forth tag team match, the best straight-up tag that both teams would have on PPV. It definitely sticks to the formula, as the Bulldogs bring the fire early on until Raymond and Jacques' heel tactics give them the advantage and the chance to put some heat. As this is long enough, they get to throw in a lot of excellent Davey and Dynamite comebacks, so it never really gets too plodding or boring. It looks like the Bulldogs had it sewn up at the end, but the timer runs out and we have a draw. Not sure why we couldn't have a finish here, but the Rougeaus had just turned and the Bulldogs were always booked pretty strong, so I'll allow it. ***1/2

Bad News Brown def. Ken Patera (6:33)
Yeah, this sucked something fierce. Brown was in the midst of a pretty strong push, and this is just a high-level squash to present him as a major threat. I can't say I was ever impressed by him, as his offense is pure ground-and-pound stuff with little dimension or nuance. Patera was even worse here though, looking slow and out-of-shape. The bear hug (a heel submission being delivered by the babyface) he puts on brought the whole match to a a grinding halt, but Brown escapes and eventually hits the Ghetto Blaster to end this sloppy mess. No good. 1/2*

Backstage, the Mega Powers hint at a secret weapon. I wonder who, I'm sorry what, that could be?

Rick Rude def. Junkyard Dog via DQ (6:18)
One of the bizarre things about this show is that you have some really hot feud going on between Rude and Roberts, and they decide to split them into separate matches at the PPV? At this point, Rude has the sprayed tights and is targeting Jake's wife Cheryl, which is important as it'll play into the finish of this match. As you'd expect, there's not much to the contest itself, with JYD going after Rude early before finding himself caught in some holds, and then staring at the lights as Rude is about to hit him with a move off the ropes. Rude decides here to show off the tights beneath his tights, bearing the face of Cheryl Roberts. Jake won't stand for that and hits the ring for the DQ. *1/4

The Powers of Pain def. The Bolsheviks (5:27)
A weird first appearance for the PoP here, as they're babyfaces to start their run and have "The Baron" (a.k.a. notorious heel and shitty wrestler Baron von Raschke) as their manager. Warlord and Barbarian are just two hunks of meat colliding with two communist hunks of meat, so the match is a pretty lame, vaguely squash-y affair. Barbarian wins it with a flying headbutt. *

It's time for an in-ring segment, as we get out first PPV edition of The Brother Love Show. I get that I'm not meant to like him but honestly, this character is like nails on a chalkboard for me. His guest is Jim Duggan, who loves America and that's that. This felt like a waste of time as Duggan and his patriotic shtick was already over.

Intercontinental Championship: The Ultimate Warrior def. The Honky Tonk Man (c) (0:31)
At this point, Honky had become the longest reigning IC champion of all time, mostly through a combination of cheating and (more commonly) running away. He was meant to face Brutus here, but he was taken out before the PPV by Ron Bass in a vicious angle that all the replays had to censor. Left without an opponent, Honky put out a challenge to anyone backstage. Then, of course, the famous music hits and it's The Ultimate Warrior (now fully evolved), who hits the ring at speed and just goes shock-and-awe over Honky's ass, not even giving him the chance to run away or cry off. The big Warrior Splash finishes it and we have a new IC champion. Total squash here but one of the most electric squashes of all time. The crowd popped like crazy for this and it's rightly remembered today. No rating, obviously, but it's a five-star moment.

Dino Bravo def. Don Muraco (5:28)
The rematch nobody wanted to see. To be fair, it's not as bad as the WrestleMania IV match, as they lay off the rest holds a bit and work this as more of a big-boy power match, which suits them better. There's even a very athletic monkey flip executed by Muraco, who would be gone from the WWF fairly soon after this. In the end, Bravo caught Muraco with his finishing Side Slam (which always looked trash and no worse than any other slam) and got himself a big win. *1/4

World Tag Team Championships: Demolition (c) def. The Hart Foundation (9:49)
Demolition are still Fuji-led heels for now, although you can tell the crowd are in love with them and don't really want to give them any heat. The Harts are presumably faces at this point. These teams would of course clash at a later SummerSlam event, after Demolition had got their face run out of the way, and that's probably the match people remember more fondly. This is really solid though, as Ax and Smash were at their physical peak as a team around this time and could really mix it up well with the Harts (who are also popular with the crowd here). It's mostly a formula tag, but Bret and Anvil's combined offense is always a joy and the former sold really well for the big, bad heels. Regardless of Demolition's growing popularity, Jimmy Hart (having separated from the Hart Foundation on not-so-amicable terms) helps them out with the megaphone for a heel finish. ***

The Big Boss Man def. Koko B. Ware (5:57)
A real fun PPV debut here for Boss Man, who is so spry and athletic around this time. It's a shame that physical peak felt so short-lived. This is just an elevated squash, as are most of Koko's PPV appearances, but it's a really good one as the Bird Man sells really well for Boss Man and has a lot of fire in his comebacks. Boss Man no sells a dropkick and then slams him to win. Fun stuff. **

Backstage, Warrior celebrates his title win in typically mental fashion.

Jake Roberts def. Hercules (10:06)
I'm not sure why this got as much time as it did, as this is really just the equivalent of the Rude/JYD match from earlier, but both these guys could work and they have a decent contest, albeit with a predictable result. There's a few too many rest hold spots around the middle of this (from both guys) but they build to Jake's DDT (remember when crowds used to go crazy for that move?!) well and Jake gets the dub. Not bad at all. **1/4

Main event time! Jesse Venture is out to referee this thing, hence his absence from the commentary desk.

The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage) def. The Mega Bucks (Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant) (13:57)
For the first of two occasions on WWF PPV, the Mega Powers unite! This is just a pure sports entertainment match, so mileage may vary, but I had a lot of fun with it. They worked around Andre's limitations really well too. Hogan and Savage got on top early to get the crowd going, but Andre is real big and real mean, stealing the advantage back for himself and DiBiase. Hogan actually gets some heat put on him for a bit, before making a comeback and getting Savage involved. Savage quickly succumbs to the dastardly double-teaming of the heels though, and this is the most significant heat segment of the match, as our valiant WWF Champion struggles against the odds to make it back to his corner. In hindsight, this made Savage look like a bit of a chump compared to Hogan, but whatever. It looks like things are going against the Mega Powers, but secret weapon Elizabeth pops onto the apron and removes her skirt, which has everyone (Jesse included) gawping. This gives Savage and Hogan a chance to pick up momentum, and they ultimately hit DiBiase with both their finishes to seal the win. This is just a good time, if you don't micro-analyse the work rate too much. ***1/2

Post-match, Hogan and Savage lap up the adulation of the crowd, but Hogan gets a bit too forward with Liz and Macho is clearly not digging that. It's still too early to hint at any dissension too strongly though, so the Mega Powers shake hands before we head out.

Overall

The first iteration of Summerslam is a fun, if slightly house-show-adjacent, event. It certainly starts and finishes strongly; Bulldogs vs. Rougeaus is a really well-worked match, while the main event is a really fun spectacle with an iconic finish. The most famous moment though is Warrior's Intercontinental Championship win, which is a five-star moment, if ever there was one.

What holds this back is the amount of filler on this card. Why didn't they book Roberts vs. Rude, instead of having them wrestle separate opponents. Did we need four elongated squashes? I just about liked this overall but it didn't feel like the huge tent pole show SummerSlam would become later. 6/10.