WrestleMania
Date: 31 March 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden; New York City, NY
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura
Gene Okerlund kicks us off with a spirited (but let's face it, crap) rendition of Star Spangled Banner. Vince would quickly drop that for future WMs, as he decided "America the Beautiful" was a better song.
Tito Santana def. The Executioner (4:49)
The very first match at WrestleMania pits Tito Santana, who will stick around in WWF until 1993 and basically serve the role of the ultimate utility guy, against an outgoing Buddy Rose, who would wrestle his last WWF match here until 1990, under a very uncomfortable-looking mask. Don't worry though, he's going after Tito's leg! This is pretty much just a routine squash for Tito, who was very much in the Intercontinental Championship shake-up and arguably the company's biggest up-and-coming babyface at the time. A shame he never really made it, but he was always great in his role. Rose looked poor here as the Executioner, so fortunately they got through this quickly. *
King Kong Bundy def. SD Jones (0:24)
The longest nine seconds in WWF history! Or maybe the history of time? To quote David Brent, this was a "squaaash". Bundy hits a big Avalanche in the corner, kills Jones with a splash, and that's all she wrote. N/R
Ricky Steamboat def. Matt Borne (4:39)
Dick Blood vs. Doink! You'll have to wake up pretty early to find a rotten Ricky Steamboat match and, unsurprisingly, this is the best thing on the show so far. It's still an extended squash, basically, but Borne was always a solid worker and he bumps around the ring like a pro for Steamboat, who was still pretty new to the promotion as I recall and clearly earmarked for a midcard push. Steamboat hits a lovely cross-body to finish the job. **1/4
Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino was fought to a Double DQ (11:43)
Someone decided that this would be the second longest match of the show. Terrible, take a lap. Sammartino was just a horrible shadow of his father in the ring and, as we'll document through these reviews, Brutus never had any talent as a worker, so this was predictably rough. The first 10 minutes is just basic wrestling with almost no heat or energy, and then our reward for sitting through that is a complete non-finish, which is pretty much designed to let Bruno get physical. Given that Bruno was still wrestling at the time (just about), I have no idea why this couldn't have been a tag match or something. At least the crowd would have cared! 1/4*
Intercontinental Championship: Junkyard Dog def. Greg Valentine (c) via count out (6:55)
These first few years in the company were pretty much Valentine's height in the WWF, and I wish he was given a better opponent here than a washed-up JYD. The match vs. Tito was right there! JYD's offense is all headbutts and punches here, and Valentine never gets to dip into his technical wrestling bag in any significant way. Then we get another screwy finish, after Tito rats on Hammer for cheating, which only serves to remind us of the Hammer/Tito match we should have got and make this feel like a huge waste of time. 1/2*
World Tag Team Championships: The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff def. The U.S. Express (c) (6:55)
This would have been a lot worse without Barry Windham, one of the best workers in the world around this time (as he would prove in JCP after this WWF run). As it is, this is a perfectly functional, template tag match that pits your evil foreign heels (plus turncoat manager) against a popular, All-American team. It's classic stuff, but we're in 1985 here and that stuff works. Blassie is not so classy and hands Sheik his walking stick, which he beats Windham over the head with to give Sheik and Volkoff a big victory. The U.S. Express would win the titles back later in the year, before finally dropping them to The Dream Team on their way out of the company. We'll see both of these guys again, individually. Decent match. **1/2
Andre the Giant def. Big John Studd in the Career vs. $15,000 Bodyslam Challenge (5:53)
Pretty diabolical match here, although Andre and Heenan's skirmishes and the interviews leading into this made me smile. They were such good foils for one another. The story here was that Studd bet Andre $15,000 dollars that he couldn't slam him, and Andre put up his career to say he could. Seems like Andre puts a pretty low value on his career! Most of the match is spent in corners, as these bears seem more intent on hugging each other and doing the bare minimum, although neither were in the best shape. No bumps allowed! Andre ends up getting the slam for one of your first WrestleMania "moments" and then Bobby manages to grab his money before Andre gives it all away. DUD
Women's Championship: Wendi Richter def. Lelaini Kai (c) (6:14)
Apart from Toni Storm keeping Richter's name alive, the only reason anyone remembers this match is because of Cyndi Lauper (or for you youngsters, Chappell Roan's mum). Women's wrestling was pretty basic in the States around this time, so this isn't anything special, but the celebrity bells and whistles attached to this gives it some extra juice. I genuinely think Lauper was ready to kick Moolah's ass at ringside: it's still real to her, dammit! 3/4*
Hulk Hogan & Mr. T def. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff (13:34)
Your first WrestleMania main event has Muhammad Ali as a special guest enforcer, which is easily the biggest sports crossover WWF pulls off for at least another 14 years. This is what I would call well-managed chaos, as there were a lot of combustible elements here that could have gone wrong (about 15 people at ringside, two referees and a green-as-peas Mr. T) but ultimately came together to make for an entertaining spectacle, which is all this needed to be. In some ways, it's the closest thing we get to an all-out brawl on WWF PPV until the advent of gimmicks like Falls Count Anywhere and Ladder Matches. Fair play to Orndorff here too, as he was quite obviously the only man here willing to get jobbed out (he'd be rewarded with a feud vs. Hogan in 1986). They've had a lot of worse WM main events! ***
Overall
The very first "WrestleMania" is a historic show, if not because of the quality of the card. It's quite interesting how different the presentation feels just two years later at WrestleMania III. At this point in time, WWF feels a lot like any other territory in the NWA, unlike the national sensation it would become when it started elevating the wrestlers' personae, introducing a wider array of gimmicks and generally becoming more colourful and slick in its production.
The production value of this show is actually quite poor, with Lord Alfred Hayes awkwardly connecting different matches and promos together. As for the wrestling, this is quite a basic show. The best match is probably the main event between Hogan / Mr.T and Piper / Orndorff, which feels like a glimmer of the spectacle this show would quickly become. I also enjoyed Ricky Steamboat's performance against Matt Borne and the Tag Team Championship match between Sheik / Volkoff and the U.S. Express. Barry Windham looked like a real star in that bout. If the show rides off the back of its historical significance, that's okay. It lit the fuse that would become WWF's golden generation.
My rating is a balance between the quality of the card and its importance to the industry. It's also not a long show, so passes by fairly quickly and harmlessly. 5/10.
Date: 31 March 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden; New York City, NY
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura
Gene Okerlund kicks us off with a spirited (but let's face it, crap) rendition of Star Spangled Banner. Vince would quickly drop that for future WMs, as he decided "America the Beautiful" was a better song.
Tito Santana def. The Executioner (4:49)
The very first match at WrestleMania pits Tito Santana, who will stick around in WWF until 1993 and basically serve the role of the ultimate utility guy, against an outgoing Buddy Rose, who would wrestle his last WWF match here until 1990, under a very uncomfortable-looking mask. Don't worry though, he's going after Tito's leg! This is pretty much just a routine squash for Tito, who was very much in the Intercontinental Championship shake-up and arguably the company's biggest up-and-coming babyface at the time. A shame he never really made it, but he was always great in his role. Rose looked poor here as the Executioner, so fortunately they got through this quickly. *
King Kong Bundy def. SD Jones (0:24)
The longest nine seconds in WWF history! Or maybe the history of time? To quote David Brent, this was a "squaaash". Bundy hits a big Avalanche in the corner, kills Jones with a splash, and that's all she wrote. N/R
Ricky Steamboat def. Matt Borne (4:39)
Dick Blood vs. Doink! You'll have to wake up pretty early to find a rotten Ricky Steamboat match and, unsurprisingly, this is the best thing on the show so far. It's still an extended squash, basically, but Borne was always a solid worker and he bumps around the ring like a pro for Steamboat, who was still pretty new to the promotion as I recall and clearly earmarked for a midcard push. Steamboat hits a lovely cross-body to finish the job. **1/4
Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino was fought to a Double DQ (11:43)
Someone decided that this would be the second longest match of the show. Terrible, take a lap. Sammartino was just a horrible shadow of his father in the ring and, as we'll document through these reviews, Brutus never had any talent as a worker, so this was predictably rough. The first 10 minutes is just basic wrestling with almost no heat or energy, and then our reward for sitting through that is a complete non-finish, which is pretty much designed to let Bruno get physical. Given that Bruno was still wrestling at the time (just about), I have no idea why this couldn't have been a tag match or something. At least the crowd would have cared! 1/4*
Intercontinental Championship: Junkyard Dog def. Greg Valentine (c) via count out (6:55)
These first few years in the company were pretty much Valentine's height in the WWF, and I wish he was given a better opponent here than a washed-up JYD. The match vs. Tito was right there! JYD's offense is all headbutts and punches here, and Valentine never gets to dip into his technical wrestling bag in any significant way. Then we get another screwy finish, after Tito rats on Hammer for cheating, which only serves to remind us of the Hammer/Tito match we should have got and make this feel like a huge waste of time. 1/2*
World Tag Team Championships: The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff def. The U.S. Express (c) (6:55)
This would have been a lot worse without Barry Windham, one of the best workers in the world around this time (as he would prove in JCP after this WWF run). As it is, this is a perfectly functional, template tag match that pits your evil foreign heels (plus turncoat manager) against a popular, All-American team. It's classic stuff, but we're in 1985 here and that stuff works. Blassie is not so classy and hands Sheik his walking stick, which he beats Windham over the head with to give Sheik and Volkoff a big victory. The U.S. Express would win the titles back later in the year, before finally dropping them to The Dream Team on their way out of the company. We'll see both of these guys again, individually. Decent match. **1/2
Andre the Giant def. Big John Studd in the Career vs. $15,000 Bodyslam Challenge (5:53)
Pretty diabolical match here, although Andre and Heenan's skirmishes and the interviews leading into this made me smile. They were such good foils for one another. The story here was that Studd bet Andre $15,000 dollars that he couldn't slam him, and Andre put up his career to say he could. Seems like Andre puts a pretty low value on his career! Most of the match is spent in corners, as these bears seem more intent on hugging each other and doing the bare minimum, although neither were in the best shape. No bumps allowed! Andre ends up getting the slam for one of your first WrestleMania "moments" and then Bobby manages to grab his money before Andre gives it all away. DUD
Women's Championship: Wendi Richter def. Lelaini Kai (c) (6:14)
Apart from Toni Storm keeping Richter's name alive, the only reason anyone remembers this match is because of Cyndi Lauper (or for you youngsters, Chappell Roan's mum). Women's wrestling was pretty basic in the States around this time, so this isn't anything special, but the celebrity bells and whistles attached to this gives it some extra juice. I genuinely think Lauper was ready to kick Moolah's ass at ringside: it's still real to her, dammit! 3/4*
Hulk Hogan & Mr. T def. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff (13:34)
Your first WrestleMania main event has Muhammad Ali as a special guest enforcer, which is easily the biggest sports crossover WWF pulls off for at least another 14 years. This is what I would call well-managed chaos, as there were a lot of combustible elements here that could have gone wrong (about 15 people at ringside, two referees and a green-as-peas Mr. T) but ultimately came together to make for an entertaining spectacle, which is all this needed to be. In some ways, it's the closest thing we get to an all-out brawl on WWF PPV until the advent of gimmicks like Falls Count Anywhere and Ladder Matches. Fair play to Orndorff here too, as he was quite obviously the only man here willing to get jobbed out (he'd be rewarded with a feud vs. Hogan in 1986). They've had a lot of worse WM main events! ***
Overall
The very first "WrestleMania" is a historic show, if not because of the quality of the card. It's quite interesting how different the presentation feels just two years later at WrestleMania III. At this point in time, WWF feels a lot like any other territory in the NWA, unlike the national sensation it would become when it started elevating the wrestlers' personae, introducing a wider array of gimmicks and generally becoming more colourful and slick in its production.
The production value of this show is actually quite poor, with Lord Alfred Hayes awkwardly connecting different matches and promos together. As for the wrestling, this is quite a basic show. The best match is probably the main event between Hogan / Mr.T and Piper / Orndorff, which feels like a glimmer of the spectacle this show would quickly become. I also enjoyed Ricky Steamboat's performance against Matt Borne and the Tag Team Championship match between Sheik / Volkoff and the U.S. Express. Barry Windham looked like a real star in that bout. If the show rides off the back of its historical significance, that's okay. It lit the fuse that would become WWF's golden generation.
My rating is a balance between the quality of the card and its importance to the industry. It's also not a long show, so passes by fairly quickly and harmlessly. 5/10.
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