TEW Predicts the Future (Sim BTB)

[Bobby Barrows]

Good god.

 

[Sky]

December 2021
Flushing the turd that was this year​

---------

Major Events​

NXT TakeOver 40
Friday, December 10, 2021
Okay, so most of this show is just generated wrestlers signed on one-night-only deals, given that NXT's roster was down to like seven people at this point. Here's the ones you'll recognise.

1. NXT Cruiserweight Championship - Santos Escobar (c) d. Raul Mendoza (DQ)
2. Mercedes Martinez d. Simone Johnson
3. NXT Championship - Sunil Singh d. Tony Nese (c) (CO)

Impact Turning Point
Friday, December 17, 2021

1. Chris Sabin/Adam Thornstowe/Luster the Legend d. Petey Williams/Daga/Jake O'Reilly
2. Havok d. Tasha Steelz
3. Rosemary d. Kiera Hogan d. Kylie Rae
4. Daniel Parker d. Tommy Dreamer
5. Impact Knockouts Championship - Tenille Dashwood (c) d. Deonna Purrazzo (DQ)
6. Jake Crist d. EC3
7. Aron Stevens/Shawn Daivari d. Rich Swann/Dave Crist
8. Madison Rayne d. Kimber Lee
9. Impact Tag Team Championship - Ballistic Society (Kenny Omega/Johnny Impact) (c) d. 1nightonly (Kaito Kiyomiya/Trent Gibson)

AEW Winter Is Coming
Saturday, December 18, 2021

1. Kris Statlander d. Riho
2. Reba d. Britt Baker d. Abadon
3. Penelope Ford d. Yuka Sakazaki d. Big Swole d. Leva Bates
4. Joey Janela d. CIMA
5. Wardlow/Frankie Kazarian/Christopher Daniels d. Eddie Kingston/The Butcher/The Blade
6. AEW Women's Championship - Brandi Reed (c) d. Tay Conti
7. AEW TNT Championship - Miro (c) d. Brodie Lee
8. Matt Hardy d. Shawn Spears
9. Cody Rhodes d. Dustin Rhodes d. Brian Cage d. Kenny Omega d. Matt Sydal

WWE Clash of Champions
Sunday, December 26, 2021

1. Fabulous Females (Dakota Kai/Scarlett) d. Sonya Deville/Blythe Best
2. RAW Women's Championship - Shayna Baszler (c) d. Bianca Belair d. Aliyah
3. WWE 24/7 Championship Scramble - Sunil Singh (c) d. Elias d. Velveteen Dream d. Joaquin Wilde
4. The Miz/Jey Uso/Jimmy Uso d. Sheamus/Tony Nese/Cameron Grimes
5. WWE United States Championship - King Corbin (c) d. Tommaso Ciampa
6. SmackDown Women's Championship - Becky Lynch d. Candice LeRae (c) d. Sasha Banks
7. Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio d. Kevin Owens/Finn Balor (DQ)
8. WWE Championship - Sami Zayn d. Randy Orton (c)

Other Title Changes​

2021-11-30 Impact Wrestling - Impact X Division Championship: Jake Crist -> Mathieu St. Jacques
2021-11-30 Impact Wrestling - Impact Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne -> Tenille Dashwood
2021-12-01 N/A - WWE NXT North American Championship: Cameron Grimes -> VACANT (due to callup)
2021-12-08 WWE NXT - WWE NXT Tag Team Championship: The Undisputed ERA -> Raul Mendoza/Sunil Singh
2021-12-08 WWE NXT - WWE NXT Cruiserweight Championship: Ariya Daivari -> Santos Escobar
2021-12-09 N/A - WWE RAW Tag Team Championship: Mutants -> VACANT (due to Rezar's release)
2021-12-17 N/A - WWE NXT Championship: Tony Nese -> VACANT (due to callup)
2021-12-19 N/A - WWE NXT Cruiserweight Championship: Santos Escobar -> VACANT (due to Escobar's release)
2021-12-25 N/A - WWE Universal Championship: Roman Reigns -> VACANT (due to Reigns' retirement)

---------

Signings and Departures​

WWE
In: Nyla Rose, Cameron, Blythe Best
Out: Keith Lee, Naomi, Cedric Alexander, Carmella, Dabba-Kato, Raquel Gonzalez, Timothy Thatcher, Leon Ruff, Jessi Kamea, Rinku, Cal Bloom, Curt Stallion, Samir Singh, Damian Priest, Matt Martel, August Grey, Steve Corino, Malcolm Bivens, Bray Wyatt, Scott Stanford, Charles Robinson, Marina Shafir, Johnny Moss, Bobby Fish, Kyle O'Reilly, Ariya Daivari, Drake Maverick, Rezar, Santos Escobar, Drew McIntyre, KUSHIDA, William Regal, The Brian Kendrick
AEW
In:
Out: Nyla Rose, Christopher Daniels
Impact
In:
Out: Tommy Dreamer

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Business Updates​

WWE
NXT is being made to bear the brunt of WWE's suffering... to the extent that for the first time in a long time, AEW Dynamite ran completely unopposed as they were unable to cobble together a show with the non-existent NXT roster.
Roman Reigns suffered a shock shoulder injury at the last SmackDown tapings of 2021, and was forced to retire.
AEW
The links between AEW and the NWA were made official in late December, with the legendary pro wrestling alliance now including the world's biggest wrestling program.
Impact
None.

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Happenings​

Retirements: Roman Reigns
Deaths: None.

 

[Chris]

Not Roman

But Sami and SUNIL

 

[Sky]

January 2022
New year, same old WWE​

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Major Events​

NXT TakeOver 41
There was no NXT TakeOver 41.

Impact Hard to Kill

1. Jordynne Grace d. Kylie Rae
2. No Disqualification - Eric Young d. Marty Scurll
3. Chris Sabin/Kaito Kiyomiya/Trent Gibson d. Tiger Yuvraj Singh/Cody Deaner/Cousin Jake
4. Katie Forbes d. Su Yung d. Tasha Steelz
5. Rosemary d. Havok
6. Rich Swann d. TJP
7. Strap Match - Jake Crist d. EC3
8. Aron Stevens d. Adam Cole
9. Impact Knockouts Championship - Tenille Dashwood (c) d. Madison Rayne

AEW The Great Winter Bash

1. Serena Deeb d. Emi Sakura
2. Kris Statlander d. Anna Jay
3. NWA World Women's Championship - Leva Bates d. Allisyn Kay (c) d. Yuka Sakazaki*
4. Reba d. Shanna (DQ)
5. Hangman Adam Page/Brian Cage/CIMA d. Wardlow/Dax Harwood/Cash Wheeler
6. Matt Sydal d. Joey Janela
7. Dustin Rhodes d. Shawn Spears
8. Matt Hardy/Jake Hager d. Kenny Omega/Frankie Kazarian
9. AEW TNT Championship - Miro (c) d. Cody Rhodes

*Leva Bates retires as champion
WWE Royal Rumble (contains no Rumble matches because the roster's too thin)

1. Dakota Kai d. Dana Brooke d. Aliyah d. Blythe Best
2. Losing Team Disbands - The Revolt (Fabian Aichner/Jeet Rama) d. Robert Stone Society (Shelton Benjamin/Jaxson Ryker)
3. Candice LeRae d. Peyton Royce
4. Isaiah "Swerve" Scott d. Tommaso Ciampa d. Velveteen Dream d. Shane McMahon
5. The New Day (Big E/Kofi Kingston) d. Angelo Dawkins/Tony Nese
6. WWE Intercontinental Championship - Elias d. Titus O'Neil (c)
7. WWE Universal Championship (vacant) - Shinsuke Nakamura d. Finn Balor
8. WWE Championship - Sami Zayn (c) d. The Miz d. Sheamus d. King Corbin

Other Title Changes​

2022-02-07 WWE RAW (pre-taped) - WWE 24/7 Championship: Sunil Singh -> Isaiah "Swerve" Scott
2022-02-14 WWE RAW (pre-taped) - WWE United States Championship: King Corbin -> Robert Roode

---------

Signings and Departures​

WWE
In: Dana Brooke
Out: Bo Dallas, Sasha Banks, The Undertaker, John Cone, Simone Johnson, Raul Mendoza, Jessamyn Duke, Mercedes Martinez, Sunil Singh, Kevin Owens, Bobby Lashley, Rey Mysterio, Dominick Mysterio, Natalya, Bianca Belair, Mojo Rawley, MVP, Chelsea Green, Sonya Deville, Tyler Breeze, Joaquin Wilde
AEW
In:
Out: Jon Moxley
Impact
In: KUSHIDA, Adam Cole
Out:

---------

Business Updates​

WWE
Due to last minute show cancellations, NXT has lost all of its slots, and is now available only on the WWE Network. That is, if it's able to put on shows at all.
AEW
Jon Moxley departed AEW and was stripped of the AEW Championship after not defending it for like ever.
Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford have broken up.
Impact
None.

---------

Happenings​

La Sombra (the former Andrade) is the latest wrestler to be embroiled in steroid scandal. La Sombra currently works for the NWA and PODER.
MLW is now part of the UWN.
Will Ospreay is planning to leave NJPW by mutual consent.
Nikki Bella's wedding has been called off.
Latest wrestler to wade into weightgate, Thom Latimer (Bram) who is pro-Titus.
Retirements: Fuerza Guerrera, Headbanger Mosh, The Blue Meanie, Miguel Perez Jr., Mustafa Saed
Deaths: Kevin Sullivan

 

[Chris]

Honestly Impact looks good and WWE is picking up rn with the face of the company as Sami Zayn

 

[TOP GUY TIME]

Honestly Impact looks good and WWE is picking up rn with the face of the company as Sami Zayn

WWE might be picking up but they are losing 20+ people per update

 

[Chris]

WWE might be picking up but they are losing 20+ people per update

Dead weight IMO they had too many in the first place

 

[TOP GUY TIME]

Dead weight IMO they had too many in the first place

Releasing Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair and signing Dana Brooke?!

 

[Chris]

Releasing Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair and signing Dana Brooke?!

Come on I was setting myself up for a joke...you were supposed to say something about Undertaker so I could say "yeah undead weight"

 

[TOP GUY TIME]

Come on I was setting myself up for a joke...you were supposed to say something about Undertaker so I could say "yeah undead weight"

Undertaker is technically dea weight so why bring it up?

 

[Bobby Barrows]

I just realized something.

So-- WWE's like what, $45 Million in the hole? I now realized why they are.

The game has everyone signed to a guaranteed monthly written contract. But because the roster is too fucking big, they need to let people go, so WWE goes on a firing spree- But see, because everyone is on signed contracts, they have to *pay* everyone the rest of their contracts, which could be upwards of Millions depending on the person. So the more people they fire, the more money they lose. But because they're now losing money and in debt, they have to fire more people to save money... which costs money.

WWE's TEW A.I. just accidentally forced itself to commit Seppuku.

 

[Chris]

I just realized something.

So-- WWE's like what, $45 Million in the hole? I now realized why they are.

The game has everyone signed to a guaranteed monthly written contract. But because the roster is too fucking big, they need to let people go, so WWE goes on a firing spree- But see, because everyone is on signed contracts, they have to *pay* everyone the rest of their contracts, which could be upwards of Millions depending on the person. So the more people they fire, the more money they lose. But because they're now losing money and in debt, they have to fire more people to save money... which costs money.

WWE's TEW A.I. just accidentally forced itself to commit Seppuku.

Adam did say while developing the game that he just said fuck it bc modern day WWE broke his game every time he tried to make it possible