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Storm: I didn't do anything.
Anderson: I *watched* you do it!
Storm: Wow, man, blaming me for some other black man's crime.
Anderson: W-wait wh- Ed, we don't have any other black wrestlers in the company. Second of all, no other motherfucker wears *camouflage*.
Storm: ... I plead the fifth.
Anderson: Get your ass back to the locker room and apologize to everyone. Then hopefully we can learn some lessons and move on.
St. Patrick's Brawl
Sunday, Week 4, March 2016
FIVE Event Center
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 15
ANGLE
Austin Smooth and Melvin Otto come down to the ring one after another, each accompanied by (yet again) some crappy music fitting their gimmick. They each taunt the crowd (of fifteen whopping people) and explain that tonight they are teaming together; while not friends, they are sure to work together to pull one over on the out of touch Leo Davis, and the ill-equipped Desert Storm.
Leo Davis and Desert Storm come out from wherever they were and (since they're pretty bad on the mic... both of them) essentially do the whole, "I am rubber, you are glue" face shtick. The two of them said they've been training together for about a week now and are prepared to mop the floor with Smooth and Otto. Otto is unamused, to say the least, and warns Desert Storm that he didn't come alone. He says he's bringing a hired gun to be the first member of Melvin Otto's "New Age Forces". He also proclaims, "soon everyone will be enlightened... and their voices, *silenced*". Cue cheap dastardly villain laugh.
Rating: 27
Seth Whitehead vs. Mad Dog Mortimer
Mad Dog Mortimer got the piss beaten out of him, to be honest. The match wasn't very long and it was mostly Seth using his technical and submission specialty to beat Mortimer every which way. The offense that Mortimer did get in was sloppy at best and dreadful at worst. Thankfully Seth finished the match with a hard takedown akin to a spinebuster and slapped in a Texas Clover Leaf for the win.
Seth Whitehead Victor Via Submission
Rating: 22
Cobra vs. Scott Anderson
In arguably the best technical match of the night, Cobra and I had a pretty decent match. Cobra took advantage early on with his prowess and penchant for less-than-legal maneuvers. At one point it looked like he had the match completely won... and then the comeback to end all comebacks happened. Run into the turnbuckle, clothesline by me, clothesline by me, german suplex, and a vicious spinebuster takedown followed by an armbreaker, which caught Cobra quite off guard. However, Cobra's smart and has his feet under the ropes, forcing me to break up the submission hold. Eventually Cobra got back on track with a rake to the eyes and hit his finisher (out of nowhere) to get the win on me.
Cobra Victor Via Pinfall
Rating: 27
Austin Smooth & Melvin Otto vs. Leo Davis & Desert Storm
What a main event (and I don't mean that in a "good" way). Davis can't wrestle much longer than Mad Dog Mortimer, Austin Smooth is the best damn worker in the company, Melvin Otto is highly entertaining, and Desert Storm isn't that good. This caused something of a mixed bag of a match carried by the much more talented heel team. Don't get me wrong, now, the crowd was semi-into it, but there was only so much Otto and Smooth could do. Davis and Storm won the match after miscommunication between Otto and Smooth left them in disarray, giving Leo Davis the impetus to roll-up Smooth for the win (he had to get his win back somehow).
Leo Davis and Desert Storm Victors By Pinfall
Rating: 27
Final Rating: 26
Chris: 5/6 83.3% (This Show's Winner, will break any tiebreakers on next show)
Dark Phoenix: 4/6 66.6% (Wins Tiebreaker Via Last Show's Perfect Predictions)
EC: 4/6 66.6%
OMB: 3/6 50%
KIF: 0/3 0% (I don't know how you managed it, but you did)