Anderson: So, Ed... why did you pull that stunt?
Storm: I thought it was funny.
Anderson: You could have hurt someone with that prank.
Storm: Ah, come on, Scotty-boy. Nobody got hurt, so what's the harm?
Anderson: The boys didn't like it one bit, man.
Storm: What do they know? They're a couple of sticks in the mud.
Anderson: I'm pretty sure some of those guys have been around longer than you've been. Look, just please try not to do it again.
Storm: Fine, fine, whatever you say, boss.
Valentine Massacre
Sunday, Week 4, February 2016
Stockmen's Truck Stop
St. Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 11
ANGLE
Coming out to some not so legally obtained metal music, is Leo Davis, owner and main star of M2W to welcome the crowd. He gets a few words in on how M2W is going to redefine wrestling in the Midwest, what was at one time a barren wasteland of wrestling for years. Not a single company has ever been home in the Midwest, but that all has changed with the "IT" company, Mid West Wrestling! He tells the crowd they are in for a show tonight (rather clumsily though, as he definitely sucks on the mic), when another piece of illegally obtained music blares out from the boombox next to the ring (
spared no expenses, par for the course with Davis).
Out comes cocky youngster, Austin Smooth. He tells Leo Davis that everyone came out to see the "Smooth Hold" tonight and that Davis is gonna be the first victim of it here in M2W. Davis and Smooth terribly get across that they are having a match tonight and Davis says he's guaranteeing a win (in an over-the-top, dramatic fashion; no wonder companies never pushed this guy).
Rating: 28
ANGLE
After Smooth and Davis leave (after what happened to be a way too long and uncomfortable staredown), some generic Indian music starts playing and out comes the self-professed "New Age Guru of Mayhem" Melvin Otto with Mic in hand. He declares that M2W needs a man to guide them to greatness. They need the "Prophet of Doom" (as he calls himself, apparently). He is the answer to the question (whatever question that may be, I don't know). He says he's going to prove that he is the chosen one with a victory against the oppressive regime that is Desert Storm.
Rating: 30
Melvin Otto vs. Desert Storm
The match is a drawn-out and frankly sloppy brawl between the two, Desert Storm serving as the face up against Otto's obnoxious and "triggering" character. Storm looks to have the match won, but Otto gets him in a school boy and pulls on the tights hard. Unfortunately for Desert Storm, referee Xander Summer doesn't see it (he's actually completely in position to see it, but "kayfabe", yo) and Otto steals the victory from the military man (he never actually served, ironically).
Melvin Otto Victor By Pinfall
Rating: 21
The Wild Animals vs. The Future
(Cobra & Mad Dog Mortimer) (Scott Anderson & Seth Whitehead)
Here we see an awful tag match involving myself. Not gonna lie, I was not expecting Mad Dog Mortimer to be that bad at wrestling, but here we are. He threw some potatoes right in my face and actually bust my nose up something fierce. That guy is ugly as shit though, not gonna lie... but he's cheap. Cobra and Seth were actually pretty good from what I saw of them. They're young and cheap and I could build the company around them in the next two years or so... if we're still open then. Mortimer distracts me and pulls me out from the apron, continuing his wild brawl with me on the outside, as Cobra slaps on his finisher and gets the pin, Mortimer preventing me from breaking it up.
The Wild Animals Victors By Pinfall
Rating: 22
Leo Davis vs. Austin Smooth
In probably the weakest performance of the night, Austin Smooth absolutely carried Leo Davis to a good match. Davis was blown up right away (thanks to being an idiot and gunning it to the ring to start the match), and Smooth essentially took charge of the situation, and began by dominating Davis until he could catch his breath... bringing on the worst. comeback. ever: Clothesline. Clothesline. Sloppy Scoop Slam. Knee Drop. Pin. Luckily the match didn't end there or I fear that crowd (of eleven people), would have been dissatisfied. Austin gets the meandering Davis over his way and locks in the Smooth Hold, submitting the owner and "star" of M2W.
Austin Smooth Victor By Submission
Rating: 26
Final Rating: 20
Prediction Contest:
Dark Phoenix: 3/3 100%
EC: 2/3 66.6%
Chris: 2/3 66.6%
OMB: 1/3 33.3%
