Royal Rumble 1995
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Jeff Jarrett def. Razor Ramon (c) (18:06)
Solid match to start the event. A little better than it sounds on paper. Jeff Jarrett is all cocky at the start as you could expect, but Razor quickly makes Jeff take him seriously. Jeff is able to ground Razor for a but Razor starts to make a comeback. But then the match takes a turn when Jeff throws Razor over the ropes. Ramon clutches his knee on the floor and as Jeff keeps the ref's attention, The Roadie takes Razor's knee out from behind. And Ramon is unable to make it back in the ring before the referee counts 10. But Jarrett wants that title, so he grabs a mic and challenges Razor to get back in the ring and restart the match. Razor finally agrees after Jarrett calls him a chicken, which I think we can all agree is the worst thing you can call a person. So Razor gets back in the ring, the bell rings and our match continues, and of course, Jarrett goes after the knee. He attacks that knee relentlessly. At one point, I think he says “I'm gonna break his leg.” Jarrett gets the Figure 4 on Ramon and Razor is in the hold for a solid minute. But Razor is able to roll over and escape. Ramon starts to come back with hard rights. He tries for a back suplex off the ropes, but Jarrett turns his body to land on Razor. But Ramon rolls back so he pins Jarrett. Jeff kicks out and the match becomes more even. But Ramon tries to go for the Razor's Edge, and he drops to the mat, dropping Jarrett in the process as he clutches his knee. Jarrett rolls Razor in a small package to take the win and the title.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 2: The Undertaker def. I.R.S. (12:21)
This match started to make me mad at one point with how boring it was and how it felt like it wouldn't end. Irwin dropkicks Undertaker in the back at the start, that does absolutely nothing. Taker then starts to completely dominate Schyster. Taker might as well have said “Imma make you my bitch.” After sending Irwin to the outside, Schyster gets mad at DiBiase, who motions for a couple guys in dark cloaks to come out. They interfere occasionally for the rest of the match, one shakes the ropes as Taker is going for old school. IRS clotheslines him over the ropes and Taker immediately turns and grabs both druids, I think that was hilarious. Other than that, I can't say there was much I liked here, it was very boring. Undertaker goes for a Tombstone, but both druids get on the apron and Taker boots them off. Allowing Irwin to escape and hit a big clothesline. Undertaker recovers quick and hits a Chokeslam to take the win. Both druids try to attack Taker, but he takes care of them, prompting DiBiase to bring out… King Kong Bundy, the real life humpty dumpty. So IRS steals the urn from Paul Bearer and Bundy attacks Taker, leading to one of Taker's worst matches ever at WrestleMania.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 3: WWF Championship Match - Diesel (c) vs. Bret Hart ended in a no contest (27:19)
Ya know, its a damn shame whenever a great match is so overbooked to the point that it gets ruined. That's how I felt about this. Because this was going so well, if they had just let these guys have a match without all the run ins (yes, multiple run ins. This match was overbooked to hell). I like that right away, they started throwing fists. It looked like they were going to do some wrestling at first and then Bret just throws a punch. Of course Diesel won that battle because he's bigger and stronger. So Bret brings Diesel down to his size and wraps his long legs around the ring post. So Bret goes after Diesel's legs for a while and Bret has Diesel in trouble. Bret suicide dives on Diesel, but out there, Diesel throws Bret into the steps and starts attacking Bret's ribs. Diesel hits moves that will hurt Bret's back and torso. So each man has chosen a point of attack. Diesel beats on him for a while but Bret starts to make a comeback. He clotheslines Diesel out of the ring and dives over again, but Diesel catches him and slams him into the ring post. Kevin throws Bret back inside, hits a Jackknife Powerbomb, he covers Bret, but Shawn Michaels runs in and stops the count, attacking Diesel and going after his knee. But after Shawn leaves, the referee waves it off, saying he's not gonna DQ anybody. He's gonna let the match continue. So Bret goes after Diesel's leg again, wrapping it around the ring post and slams a steel chair into his knee. Man, this referee is really lenient tonight. (But at this point, I'm trying not to be nitpicky and just enjoy it). Bret locks Diesel in the Sharpshooter, and this time, Owen Hart runs in and attacks Bret. He takes the turnbuckle pad off a corner and whips Bret chest first into it. So Owen leaves and the referee still decides to wave the decision and let the match continue. Diesel crawls to cover Bret, who kicks out. Bret rams Diesel face first into the exposed buckle and hits him with punch after punch to the face. The last one knocks him down, but then Diesel just gets up and grabs Bret by the straps to his singlet and hammers him with elbows. Bret moves behind Diesel, shoving him to the ropes into the referee, so now they're all down and then Shawn, Owen, Bob Backlund, Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie all run in for no reason to beat up both guys. Finally the referee says “fuck this, I'm calling it. I need a drink.” So after Bret and Diesel fend off the heels, Finkel announces the result is a draw. And this is the point of the show where I start to lose some sanity. Because this was such an unnecessary finish. And the match was going so well. They were working a great match, but with the run ins, and the non-finish, it kinda makes me feel like I'm being blue balled. Overbooked. To. Hell. Why bother booking the match at all if that's what they were doing?
My Rating: ****
Match 4: WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Final Match - 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly def. Tatanka & Bam Bam Bigelow (15:32)
Who doesn't love an underdog story? In case you couldn't tell, the Kid and Holly were the underdogs. In the early going, its swaying more in Tatanka and Bam Bam’s favor, but Kid and Holly are given just enough to look like they might have a shot. The Kid and Bigelow (to no one's surprise) are the guys who make this match, they get in together and Bam Bam bullies The Kid, but Kid throws those feet into Bigelow's feet, using his quickness to give Bam Bam some trouble. The Kid dumps Bigelow over the ropes. Both men tag in their partners, Kid and Holly are both caught as they go for crossbodies. But they escape the big men's grasps and shove them into each other. Tatanka soon starts to ground Holly into the mat. Holly is kept away from The Kid, for a little while. The Kid is eventually tagged in and he knocks Bam Bam off his feet with a spinning heel kick as he gets in. He hits a missile dropkick from the top rope that takes Bigelow down again. He knocks Tatanka off the apron and somersaults over on him on the floor. Bigelow manages to bulldoze The Kid, and then presses him, then throwing him onto the floor, he eats shit. Tatanka tosses him back in and Bigelow goes up, going for a moonsault, but Tatanka's dumbass thought this would be the perfect time to run the ropes and then he acts surprised when Bigelow falls off the ropes. Holly sprints over to clothesline Tatanka out of the ring, Kid crawls to Bam Bam and drapes one arm over him, The Kid and Holly pick up the win and I'd like to call this a victory for the underdogs, but clearly, they were up against an idiot. I hear Lawler say that “DiBiase and Tatanka have left Bam Bam in the ring, in disgust.” How is this Bam Bam's fault? Its not his fault his partner had a room temperature IQ. Anyway, thats my thoughts on the finish. Then Bigelow leaves the ring and he meets eyes with Lawrence Taylor in the front row. Bigelow shoves LT, who is held back by other guys.
My Rating: ***1/4
Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Shawn Michaels won by last eliminating British Bulldog (38:41)
Rumble time. And I just wanna make this clear off the bat. The people who rated the most recent Rumble low have never been in the trenches. Because this was dogshit. How it managed to get a 5 is beyond me. And WWE loves to mention how Shawn Michaels was the first man to win it from number 1, yada yada. What they fail to mention is number 1, every entrant came in at one minute intervals and thats why this Rumble is so short. So its not nearly as impressive compared to other Entrant 1 winners, not that I doubt he could have gone an hour. And number two, that this is the most nameless Rumble Match of all time. It is the complete opposite of this year's men's Rumble. You got Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Owen and Backlund and that's it. When the undercard is more stacked than the Rumble itself, there is a problem. Like, Kwang? Mantaur? Aldo Montoya, anyone? Anyway, I'll talk about the match although theres not much to talk about. Shawn and Bulldog start and they go wire to wire. And then in comes Eli Blu… and Duke the Dumpster. And then Jimmy Del Ray. And then Sione (aka the Barbarian)... and I'm quickly losing interest. There is nothing and no one man. Finally, another name comes out at 11 and its Owen Hart. But he's attacked from behind by Bret. And by the time Bret leaves, its already time for another guy to come out. Oh yeah, and Owen Hart is eliminated offscreen. They replay it later but point is, Owen is eliminated in 3 seconds by Bulldog. Okay, its not like the ring is overflowing with jobbers or anything! But this is the point where the ring starts to clear also. Most of the field is eliminated in the next few minutes until only Shawn and Bulldog are left. Bundy and Mabel get in a have a fat man standoff cause Vince loved that shit. (This is such good shit). Mabel eliminates Bundy, but Lex Luger thankfully gets in and eliminates Mabel. You know how bad things have to get for me to be excited about Lex Luger? He was 19 and not a damn thing happens until 25 which is Bob Backlund, who also is jumped from behind by Bret Hart. When he's done, he throws Backlund in and he's eliminated in 16 seconds by Luger. Of course he is, no room for him, we have to make for Steven Dunn. (I say as I scream internally). Then my grandpa comes in at 27. They call him Dick Murdoch for some reason. (AHHHH). Mercifully, we get to number 30 which is… Crush… whatever I don't care. We're finally here, Crush eliminates both Smoking Gunns, who were fighting each other. The ring starts to clear finally. The final 4 ends up being, Shawn, Bulldog, Luger and Crush. Crush pushes Luger out from behind as he's trying to get rid of Shawn. Shawn suggests to Crush that they double team Bulldog. They do for a bit until Crush turns on him. Crush presses Shawn above his head and goes to throw him out, but Shawn rakes his eyes and moves just in time so Bulldog can clothesline Crush out of the ring. And that leaves us with the 2 that started the match. Bulldog dog walks Shawn for a minute before he clotheslines Shawn up and over the ropes, Bulldog’s music hits and he gets on the second rope to celebrate, not knowing that Shawn is still in the match because only one of Shawn's feet touched the floor. Shawn pushes Bulldog out of the ring, Finkel makes the announcement, the replay is played. Shawn Michaels has won the Rumble. Good finish. Great finish even. But thats about the only good thing about this match.
My Rating: *
Cagematch Rating: 6.64
My Rating: 4.5/10
I tried to go into this with an open mind, because I had seen wrestling reviewers on YouTube say that this was good and even Meltzer seemed to like most of the matches on this card. But I'm telling you guys, this was awful. The only match on the show I didn't have a problem with was the opener. Taker/IRS was boring. WWF Title Match was great but is ruined by the constant run-ins and non-finish. The Tag Title Match was decent but the finish really had me scratching my head. That Rumble… I think I pretty much covered everything I hated about it. So yeah, don't watch this trash. I'd say if you can tolerate constant interferences, then watch the Bret/Diesel match because it was good, its just booked terribly.
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Jeff Jarrett def. Razor Ramon (c) (18:06)
Solid match to start the event. A little better than it sounds on paper. Jeff Jarrett is all cocky at the start as you could expect, but Razor quickly makes Jeff take him seriously. Jeff is able to ground Razor for a but Razor starts to make a comeback. But then the match takes a turn when Jeff throws Razor over the ropes. Ramon clutches his knee on the floor and as Jeff keeps the ref's attention, The Roadie takes Razor's knee out from behind. And Ramon is unable to make it back in the ring before the referee counts 10. But Jarrett wants that title, so he grabs a mic and challenges Razor to get back in the ring and restart the match. Razor finally agrees after Jarrett calls him a chicken, which I think we can all agree is the worst thing you can call a person. So Razor gets back in the ring, the bell rings and our match continues, and of course, Jarrett goes after the knee. He attacks that knee relentlessly. At one point, I think he says “I'm gonna break his leg.” Jarrett gets the Figure 4 on Ramon and Razor is in the hold for a solid minute. But Razor is able to roll over and escape. Ramon starts to come back with hard rights. He tries for a back suplex off the ropes, but Jarrett turns his body to land on Razor. But Ramon rolls back so he pins Jarrett. Jeff kicks out and the match becomes more even. But Ramon tries to go for the Razor's Edge, and he drops to the mat, dropping Jarrett in the process as he clutches his knee. Jarrett rolls Razor in a small package to take the win and the title.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 2: The Undertaker def. I.R.S. (12:21)
This match started to make me mad at one point with how boring it was and how it felt like it wouldn't end. Irwin dropkicks Undertaker in the back at the start, that does absolutely nothing. Taker then starts to completely dominate Schyster. Taker might as well have said “Imma make you my bitch.” After sending Irwin to the outside, Schyster gets mad at DiBiase, who motions for a couple guys in dark cloaks to come out. They interfere occasionally for the rest of the match, one shakes the ropes as Taker is going for old school. IRS clotheslines him over the ropes and Taker immediately turns and grabs both druids, I think that was hilarious. Other than that, I can't say there was much I liked here, it was very boring. Undertaker goes for a Tombstone, but both druids get on the apron and Taker boots them off. Allowing Irwin to escape and hit a big clothesline. Undertaker recovers quick and hits a Chokeslam to take the win. Both druids try to attack Taker, but he takes care of them, prompting DiBiase to bring out… King Kong Bundy, the real life humpty dumpty. So IRS steals the urn from Paul Bearer and Bundy attacks Taker, leading to one of Taker's worst matches ever at WrestleMania.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 3: WWF Championship Match - Diesel (c) vs. Bret Hart ended in a no contest (27:19)
Ya know, its a damn shame whenever a great match is so overbooked to the point that it gets ruined. That's how I felt about this. Because this was going so well, if they had just let these guys have a match without all the run ins (yes, multiple run ins. This match was overbooked to hell). I like that right away, they started throwing fists. It looked like they were going to do some wrestling at first and then Bret just throws a punch. Of course Diesel won that battle because he's bigger and stronger. So Bret brings Diesel down to his size and wraps his long legs around the ring post. So Bret goes after Diesel's legs for a while and Bret has Diesel in trouble. Bret suicide dives on Diesel, but out there, Diesel throws Bret into the steps and starts attacking Bret's ribs. Diesel hits moves that will hurt Bret's back and torso. So each man has chosen a point of attack. Diesel beats on him for a while but Bret starts to make a comeback. He clotheslines Diesel out of the ring and dives over again, but Diesel catches him and slams him into the ring post. Kevin throws Bret back inside, hits a Jackknife Powerbomb, he covers Bret, but Shawn Michaels runs in and stops the count, attacking Diesel and going after his knee. But after Shawn leaves, the referee waves it off, saying he's not gonna DQ anybody. He's gonna let the match continue. So Bret goes after Diesel's leg again, wrapping it around the ring post and slams a steel chair into his knee. Man, this referee is really lenient tonight. (But at this point, I'm trying not to be nitpicky and just enjoy it). Bret locks Diesel in the Sharpshooter, and this time, Owen Hart runs in and attacks Bret. He takes the turnbuckle pad off a corner and whips Bret chest first into it. So Owen leaves and the referee still decides to wave the decision and let the match continue. Diesel crawls to cover Bret, who kicks out. Bret rams Diesel face first into the exposed buckle and hits him with punch after punch to the face. The last one knocks him down, but then Diesel just gets up and grabs Bret by the straps to his singlet and hammers him with elbows. Bret moves behind Diesel, shoving him to the ropes into the referee, so now they're all down and then Shawn, Owen, Bob Backlund, Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie all run in for no reason to beat up both guys. Finally the referee says “fuck this, I'm calling it. I need a drink.” So after Bret and Diesel fend off the heels, Finkel announces the result is a draw. And this is the point of the show where I start to lose some sanity. Because this was such an unnecessary finish. And the match was going so well. They were working a great match, but with the run ins, and the non-finish, it kinda makes me feel like I'm being blue balled. Overbooked. To. Hell. Why bother booking the match at all if that's what they were doing?
My Rating: ****
Match 4: WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Final Match - 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly def. Tatanka & Bam Bam Bigelow (15:32)
Who doesn't love an underdog story? In case you couldn't tell, the Kid and Holly were the underdogs. In the early going, its swaying more in Tatanka and Bam Bam’s favor, but Kid and Holly are given just enough to look like they might have a shot. The Kid and Bigelow (to no one's surprise) are the guys who make this match, they get in together and Bam Bam bullies The Kid, but Kid throws those feet into Bigelow's feet, using his quickness to give Bam Bam some trouble. The Kid dumps Bigelow over the ropes. Both men tag in their partners, Kid and Holly are both caught as they go for crossbodies. But they escape the big men's grasps and shove them into each other. Tatanka soon starts to ground Holly into the mat. Holly is kept away from The Kid, for a little while. The Kid is eventually tagged in and he knocks Bam Bam off his feet with a spinning heel kick as he gets in. He hits a missile dropkick from the top rope that takes Bigelow down again. He knocks Tatanka off the apron and somersaults over on him on the floor. Bigelow manages to bulldoze The Kid, and then presses him, then throwing him onto the floor, he eats shit. Tatanka tosses him back in and Bigelow goes up, going for a moonsault, but Tatanka's dumbass thought this would be the perfect time to run the ropes and then he acts surprised when Bigelow falls off the ropes. Holly sprints over to clothesline Tatanka out of the ring, Kid crawls to Bam Bam and drapes one arm over him, The Kid and Holly pick up the win and I'd like to call this a victory for the underdogs, but clearly, they were up against an idiot. I hear Lawler say that “DiBiase and Tatanka have left Bam Bam in the ring, in disgust.” How is this Bam Bam's fault? Its not his fault his partner had a room temperature IQ. Anyway, thats my thoughts on the finish. Then Bigelow leaves the ring and he meets eyes with Lawrence Taylor in the front row. Bigelow shoves LT, who is held back by other guys.
My Rating: ***1/4
Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Shawn Michaels won by last eliminating British Bulldog (38:41)
Rumble time. And I just wanna make this clear off the bat. The people who rated the most recent Rumble low have never been in the trenches. Because this was dogshit. How it managed to get a 5 is beyond me. And WWE loves to mention how Shawn Michaels was the first man to win it from number 1, yada yada. What they fail to mention is number 1, every entrant came in at one minute intervals and thats why this Rumble is so short. So its not nearly as impressive compared to other Entrant 1 winners, not that I doubt he could have gone an hour. And number two, that this is the most nameless Rumble Match of all time. It is the complete opposite of this year's men's Rumble. You got Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Owen and Backlund and that's it. When the undercard is more stacked than the Rumble itself, there is a problem. Like, Kwang? Mantaur? Aldo Montoya, anyone? Anyway, I'll talk about the match although theres not much to talk about. Shawn and Bulldog start and they go wire to wire. And then in comes Eli Blu… and Duke the Dumpster. And then Jimmy Del Ray. And then Sione (aka the Barbarian)... and I'm quickly losing interest. There is nothing and no one man. Finally, another name comes out at 11 and its Owen Hart. But he's attacked from behind by Bret. And by the time Bret leaves, its already time for another guy to come out. Oh yeah, and Owen Hart is eliminated offscreen. They replay it later but point is, Owen is eliminated in 3 seconds by Bulldog. Okay, its not like the ring is overflowing with jobbers or anything! But this is the point where the ring starts to clear also. Most of the field is eliminated in the next few minutes until only Shawn and Bulldog are left. Bundy and Mabel get in a have a fat man standoff cause Vince loved that shit. (This is such good shit). Mabel eliminates Bundy, but Lex Luger thankfully gets in and eliminates Mabel. You know how bad things have to get for me to be excited about Lex Luger? He was 19 and not a damn thing happens until 25 which is Bob Backlund, who also is jumped from behind by Bret Hart. When he's done, he throws Backlund in and he's eliminated in 16 seconds by Luger. Of course he is, no room for him, we have to make for Steven Dunn. (I say as I scream internally). Then my grandpa comes in at 27. They call him Dick Murdoch for some reason. (AHHHH). Mercifully, we get to number 30 which is… Crush… whatever I don't care. We're finally here, Crush eliminates both Smoking Gunns, who were fighting each other. The ring starts to clear finally. The final 4 ends up being, Shawn, Bulldog, Luger and Crush. Crush pushes Luger out from behind as he's trying to get rid of Shawn. Shawn suggests to Crush that they double team Bulldog. They do for a bit until Crush turns on him. Crush presses Shawn above his head and goes to throw him out, but Shawn rakes his eyes and moves just in time so Bulldog can clothesline Crush out of the ring. And that leaves us with the 2 that started the match. Bulldog dog walks Shawn for a minute before he clotheslines Shawn up and over the ropes, Bulldog’s music hits and he gets on the second rope to celebrate, not knowing that Shawn is still in the match because only one of Shawn's feet touched the floor. Shawn pushes Bulldog out of the ring, Finkel makes the announcement, the replay is played. Shawn Michaels has won the Rumble. Good finish. Great finish even. But thats about the only good thing about this match.
My Rating: *
Cagematch Rating: 6.64
My Rating: 4.5/10
I tried to go into this with an open mind, because I had seen wrestling reviewers on YouTube say that this was good and even Meltzer seemed to like most of the matches on this card. But I'm telling you guys, this was awful. The only match on the show I didn't have a problem with was the opener. Taker/IRS was boring. WWF Title Match was great but is ruined by the constant run-ins and non-finish. The Tag Title Match was decent but the finish really had me scratching my head. That Rumble… I think I pretty much covered everything I hated about it. So yeah, don't watch this trash. I'd say if you can tolerate constant interferences, then watch the Bret/Diesel match because it was good, its just booked terribly.
