Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Jarf]

Royal Rumble 1995

Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Jeff Jarrett def. Razor Ramon (c) (18:06)

Solid match to start the event. A little better than it sounds on paper. Jeff Jarrett is all cocky at the start as you could expect, but Razor quickly makes Jeff take him seriously. Jeff is able to ground Razor for a but Razor starts to make a comeback. But then the match takes a turn when Jeff throws Razor over the ropes. Ramon clutches his knee on the floor and as Jeff keeps the ref's attention, The Roadie takes Razor's knee out from behind. And Ramon is unable to make it back in the ring before the referee counts 10. But Jarrett wants that title, so he grabs a mic and challenges Razor to get back in the ring and restart the match. Razor finally agrees after Jarrett calls him a chicken, which I think we can all agree is the worst thing you can call a person. So Razor gets back in the ring, the bell rings and our match continues, and of course, Jarrett goes after the knee. He attacks that knee relentlessly. At one point, I think he says “I'm gonna break his leg.” Jarrett gets the Figure 4 on Ramon and Razor is in the hold for a solid minute. But Razor is able to roll over and escape. Ramon starts to come back with hard rights. He tries for a back suplex off the ropes, but Jarrett turns his body to land on Razor. But Ramon rolls back so he pins Jarrett. Jeff kicks out and the match becomes more even. But Ramon tries to go for the Razor's Edge, and he drops to the mat, dropping Jarrett in the process as he clutches his knee. Jarrett rolls Razor in a small package to take the win and the title.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: The Undertaker def. I.R.S. (12:21)

This match started to make me mad at one point with how boring it was and how it felt like it wouldn't end. Irwin dropkicks Undertaker in the back at the start, that does absolutely nothing. Taker then starts to completely dominate Schyster. Taker might as well have said “Imma make you my bitch.” After sending Irwin to the outside, Schyster gets mad at DiBiase, who motions for a couple guys in dark cloaks to come out. They interfere occasionally for the rest of the match, one shakes the ropes as Taker is going for old school. IRS clotheslines him over the ropes and Taker immediately turns and grabs both druids, I think that was hilarious. Other than that, I can't say there was much I liked here, it was very boring. Undertaker goes for a Tombstone, but both druids get on the apron and Taker boots them off. Allowing Irwin to escape and hit a big clothesline. Undertaker recovers quick and hits a Chokeslam to take the win. Both druids try to attack Taker, but he takes care of them, prompting DiBiase to bring out… King Kong Bundy, the real life humpty dumpty. So IRS steals the urn from Paul Bearer and Bundy attacks Taker, leading to one of Taker's worst matches ever at WrestleMania.

My Rating: *3/4

Match 3: WWF Championship Match - Diesel (c) vs. Bret Hart ended in a no contest (27:19)

Ya know, its a damn shame whenever a great match is so overbooked to the point that it gets ruined. That's how I felt about this. Because this was going so well, if they had just let these guys have a match without all the run ins (yes, multiple run ins. This match was overbooked to hell). I like that right away, they started throwing fists. It looked like they were going to do some wrestling at first and then Bret just throws a punch. Of course Diesel won that battle because he's bigger and stronger. So Bret brings Diesel down to his size and wraps his long legs around the ring post. So Bret goes after Diesel's legs for a while and Bret has Diesel in trouble. Bret suicide dives on Diesel, but out there, Diesel throws Bret into the steps and starts attacking Bret's ribs. Diesel hits moves that will hurt Bret's back and torso. So each man has chosen a point of attack. Diesel beats on him for a while but Bret starts to make a comeback. He clotheslines Diesel out of the ring and dives over again, but Diesel catches him and slams him into the ring post. Kevin throws Bret back inside, hits a Jackknife Powerbomb, he covers Bret, but Shawn Michaels runs in and stops the count, attacking Diesel and going after his knee. But after Shawn leaves, the referee waves it off, saying he's not gonna DQ anybody. He's gonna let the match continue. So Bret goes after Diesel's leg again, wrapping it around the ring post and slams a steel chair into his knee. Man, this referee is really lenient tonight. (But at this point, I'm trying not to be nitpicky and just enjoy it). Bret locks Diesel in the Sharpshooter, and this time, Owen Hart runs in and attacks Bret. He takes the turnbuckle pad off a corner and whips Bret chest first into it. So Owen leaves and the referee still decides to wave the decision and let the match continue. Diesel crawls to cover Bret, who kicks out. Bret rams Diesel face first into the exposed buckle and hits him with punch after punch to the face. The last one knocks him down, but then Diesel just gets up and grabs Bret by the straps to his singlet and hammers him with elbows. Bret moves behind Diesel, shoving him to the ropes into the referee, so now they're all down and then Shawn, Owen, Bob Backlund, Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie all run in for no reason to beat up both guys. Finally the referee says “fuck this, I'm calling it. I need a drink.” So after Bret and Diesel fend off the heels, Finkel announces the result is a draw. And this is the point of the show where I start to lose some sanity. Because this was such an unnecessary finish. And the match was going so well. They were working a great match, but with the run ins, and the non-finish, it kinda makes me feel like I'm being blue balled. Overbooked. To. Hell. Why bother booking the match at all if that's what they were doing?

My Rating: ****

Match 4: WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Final Match - 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly def. Tatanka & Bam Bam Bigelow (15:32)

Who doesn't love an underdog story? In case you couldn't tell, the Kid and Holly were the underdogs. In the early going, its swaying more in Tatanka and Bam Bam’s favor, but Kid and Holly are given just enough to look like they might have a shot. The Kid and Bigelow (to no one's surprise) are the guys who make this match, they get in together and Bam Bam bullies The Kid, but Kid throws those feet into Bigelow's feet, using his quickness to give Bam Bam some trouble. The Kid dumps Bigelow over the ropes. Both men tag in their partners, Kid and Holly are both caught as they go for crossbodies. But they escape the big men's grasps and shove them into each other. Tatanka soon starts to ground Holly into the mat. Holly is kept away from The Kid, for a little while. The Kid is eventually tagged in and he knocks Bam Bam off his feet with a spinning heel kick as he gets in. He hits a missile dropkick from the top rope that takes Bigelow down again. He knocks Tatanka off the apron and somersaults over on him on the floor. Bigelow manages to bulldoze The Kid, and then presses him, then throwing him onto the floor, he eats shit. Tatanka tosses him back in and Bigelow goes up, going for a moonsault, but Tatanka's dumbass thought this would be the perfect time to run the ropes and then he acts surprised when Bigelow falls off the ropes. Holly sprints over to clothesline Tatanka out of the ring, Kid crawls to Bam Bam and drapes one arm over him, The Kid and Holly pick up the win and I'd like to call this a victory for the underdogs, but clearly, they were up against an idiot. I hear Lawler say that “DiBiase and Tatanka have left Bam Bam in the ring, in disgust.” How is this Bam Bam's fault? Its not his fault his partner had a room temperature IQ. Anyway, thats my thoughts on the finish. Then Bigelow leaves the ring and he meets eyes with Lawrence Taylor in the front row. Bigelow shoves LT, who is held back by other guys.

My Rating: ***1/4

Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Shawn Michaels won by last eliminating British Bulldog (38:41)

Rumble time. And I just wanna make this clear off the bat. The people who rated the most recent Rumble low have never been in the trenches. Because this was dogshit. How it managed to get a 5 is beyond me. And WWE loves to mention how Shawn Michaels was the first man to win it from number 1, yada yada. What they fail to mention is number 1, every entrant came in at one minute intervals and thats why this Rumble is so short. So its not nearly as impressive compared to other Entrant 1 winners, not that I doubt he could have gone an hour. And number two, that this is the most nameless Rumble Match of all time. It is the complete opposite of this year's men's Rumble. You got Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Owen and Backlund and that's it. When the undercard is more stacked than the Rumble itself, there is a problem. Like, Kwang? Mantaur? Aldo Montoya, anyone? Anyway, I'll talk about the match although theres not much to talk about. Shawn and Bulldog start and they go wire to wire. And then in comes Eli Blu… and Duke the Dumpster. And then Jimmy Del Ray. And then Sione (aka the Barbarian)... and I'm quickly losing interest. There is nothing and no one man. Finally, another name comes out at 11 and its Owen Hart. But he's attacked from behind by Bret. And by the time Bret leaves, its already time for another guy to come out. Oh yeah, and Owen Hart is eliminated offscreen. They replay it later but point is, Owen is eliminated in 3 seconds by Bulldog. Okay, its not like the ring is overflowing with jobbers or anything! But this is the point where the ring starts to clear also. Most of the field is eliminated in the next few minutes until only Shawn and Bulldog are left. Bundy and Mabel get in a have a fat man standoff cause Vince loved that shit. (This is such good shit). Mabel eliminates Bundy, but Lex Luger thankfully gets in and eliminates Mabel. You know how bad things have to get for me to be excited about Lex Luger? He was 19 and not a damn thing happens until 25 which is Bob Backlund, who also is jumped from behind by Bret Hart. When he's done, he throws Backlund in and he's eliminated in 16 seconds by Luger. Of course he is, no room for him, we have to make for Steven Dunn. (I say as I scream internally). Then my grandpa comes in at 27. They call him Dick Murdoch for some reason. (AHHHH). Mercifully, we get to number 30 which is… Crush… whatever I don't care. We're finally here, Crush eliminates both Smoking Gunns, who were fighting each other. The ring starts to clear finally. The final 4 ends up being, Shawn, Bulldog, Luger and Crush. Crush pushes Luger out from behind as he's trying to get rid of Shawn. Shawn suggests to Crush that they double team Bulldog. They do for a bit until Crush turns on him. Crush presses Shawn above his head and goes to throw him out, but Shawn rakes his eyes and moves just in time so Bulldog can clothesline Crush out of the ring. And that leaves us with the 2 that started the match. Bulldog dog walks Shawn for a minute before he clotheslines Shawn up and over the ropes, Bulldog’s music hits and he gets on the second rope to celebrate, not knowing that Shawn is still in the match because only one of Shawn's feet touched the floor. Shawn pushes Bulldog out of the ring, Finkel makes the announcement, the replay is played. Shawn Michaels has won the Rumble. Good finish. Great finish even. But thats about the only good thing about this match.

My Rating: *

Cagematch Rating: 6.64

My Rating: 4.5/10

I tried to go into this with an open mind, because I had seen wrestling reviewers on YouTube say that this was good and even Meltzer seemed to like most of the matches on this card. But I'm telling you guys, this was awful. The only match on the show I didn't have a problem with was the opener. Taker/IRS was boring. WWF Title Match was great but is ruined by the constant run-ins and non-finish. The Tag Title Match was decent but the finish really had me scratching my head. That Rumble… I think I pretty much covered everything I hated about it. So yeah, don't watch this trash. I'd say if you can tolerate constant interferences, then watch the Bret/Diesel match because it was good, its just booked terribly.

 

[Chris]

Yeah that Rumble doesn't hold up well at all, the short entrant times is really jarring

 

[Sky]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this Rumble was really flat

 

[Chris]

One time in an e-fed like 15 years ago, my character was entering a Rumble match at #1 and we had Shawn Michaels as an on screen non-wrestler, so I was going to write a segment where my character was bitching about being #1 and Shawn berates him and starts naming all the people he had to deal with when he entered #1 for the 95 Rumble...but then I googled who participated in the 95 Rumble and had to scrap that part lol

 

[Jarf]

One time in an e-fed like 15 years ago, my character was entering a Rumble match at #1 and we had Shawn Michaels as an on screen non-wrestler, so I was going to write a segment where my character was bitching about being #1 and Shawn berates him and starts naming all the people he had to deal with when he entered #1 for the 95 Rumble...but then I googled who participated in the 95 Rumble and had to scrap that part lol

"I had to beat the British Bulldog! And Lex Luger. And, Mantaur...? Did I mention the British Bulldog!"

 

[Skyefire]

That Rumble match clocks in at 38 minutes. Only 5 minutes longer than 1988's 20-man Rumble, Must have been 1-minute intervals for entrances.

 

[Chris]

That Rumble match clocks in at 38 minutes. Only 5 minutes longer than 1988's 20-man Rumble, Must have been 1-minute intervals for entrances.

It was 60 yeah, they were pushing it all match as making it more action packed too if I remember right (it did not)

 

[Jarf]

It was 60 yeah, they were pushing it all match as making it more action packed too if I remember right (it did not)

I 100% guarantee the reason it was 60 second intervals was because they knew that the field they had was garbage

 

[Jarf]

Payback 2017

Match 1: United States Championship Match - Chris Jericho def. Kevin Owens (c) (14:00)

To start this… odd show, we get a pretty good match. Not as good as the match they had at Mania, but its still good. My main issue is that it just felt as if all the flames had died out from this feud and they were just going through the motions. Owens goes outside right away and circles the ring, only for Jericho to go out and get him. Jericho is the man in control in the early part. But he goes for a springboard dropkick and Owens catches him, slamming him face first in the ring post. From there, Owens kinda just wears Jericho down, Jericho comes back, you know the song and dance. Owens goes for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Chris reverses it into a hurricanrana, rolls back and transitions to the Walls of Jericho. Owens reaches the ropes by one finger. When he realizes this, Jericho becomes furious and kicks and stomps Owens’ hand. Jericho wedges his hand between the steps and the post and he kicks the steps. Jericho rolls Owens back inside and Kevin switches behind him and rolls him up, Chris kicks out and Owens gives him a superkick. He throws Chris against the ropes and goes for the Powerbomb, but can't do it because of his hand. Jericho double legs him again and rolls him over into the Walls again. Owens reaches for the ropes, but ultimately taps out (using the bad hand btw). Surprising result I must say. But its not like it matters since Owens just wins it back on the next episode of SmackDown anyway.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Austin Aries def. Neville (c) via DQ (11:20)

The second match in their trilogy. This was a little better than the opener just because it has a quicker pace. It goes much the same way as the first one. Aries has the upper hand early and outwrestles Neville. But Neville manages to turn the tide when Aries goes to the top rope and Neville dropkicks said ropes and Aries takes a tumble to the mat. From there Neville takes control and grounds Aries into the mat. But Neville takes too much time gloating to the crowd and Aries kicks him to the floor outside. Aries starts to come back, chops the hell out of Neville's chest and dives to the outside through the ropes. Aries rolls Neville back and goes for a discus elbow, Neville catches him with a kick to the gut, and goes for an enziguri. But Aries ducks and throws Neville back behind him. Aries goes up for 450 splash, but Neville meets him up there. Aries discombobulates him and hits a sunset flip powerbomb. Aries locks in the Last Chancery from there and just as it looks like Neville is gonna tap, he reaches up and grabs the referee, pulling him down on top of them. The referee disqualifies Neville and the audience boos. Once again, a good match is ruined by its ending. It just started to feel like they were gonna kick it up a notch too. Like I said, this match is only a little better than the opener, but not by much.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 3: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - The Hardy Boyz (c) def. Cesaro & Sheamus (12:45)

And thats pretty much how I feel about this match too. Best match so far, but only by a hair. This was the big night The Bar turned heel. And man, they made the Hardys work for this win. They bruised them up. The match is nothing special early. Just both teams just trying to get the upper hand, but The Hardys are mostly the ones with the advantage. But the tough foreign men soon take the match and begin working like heels, keeping Jeff away from Matt. As Jeff was getting close, Sheamus gives him a brutal kick to the mouth which knocked one of his teeth out. The Hardys suffer the first casualty of the match as Jeff has to fight his way to his corner as they put the literal and figurative boots to him. Jeff is able to hit a Whisper in the Wind on both of them and reaches Matt. Matt goes at it with Cesaro, who's the legal man as Jeff takes Sheamus out on the outside. Cesaro hits a springboard uppercut on Matt and cuts Matt under his eyes in the process I guess. Cesaro swings Matt around before he applies the Sharpshooter. Matt crawls to the bottom rope and Jeff pushes the rope toward him, helping his brudda grab it. Sheamus grabs Jeff and throws him into the barricade before he gets back up on the apron. Sheamus gets tagged in and he hits a Celtic Cross from the second rope. Jeff saves the match at the last second. Cesaro comes in and him and Jeff go out. Jeff throws Cesaro over the barricade as Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick in the ring. He escapes the Twist of Fate and shoves Matt towards his corner, Jeff tags himself in and Sheamus hits Matt with a powerslam and then covers him. But Jeff is the legal man and Swantons Sheamus in the back, covering him to retain the titles. Cesaro just gets in at the last moment, unable to stop the count. The four men all shake hands in the ring. Cesaro and Sheamus leave the Hardys to celebrate this win… Psych! Shesaro come back and keep putting the boots to the champs. They beat them down and leave them down and out at ringside. (Jim Ross voice) Why? Why dammit?!

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 4: Raw Women's Championship Match - Alexa Bliss def. Bayley (c) (11:15)

Not the most thrilling matchup, but I'd say one of Alexa's better matches she's had. There's an extra story element due to the show being in Bayley's hometown. So there's that. And again, it starts very much like the first 3 matches did. Bayley gets a headstart, Alexa takes control. Yada yada. But Alexa is an excellent gloater and takes great pride in humiliating Bayley in her hometown. But when Bliss starts taunting Bayley's… Mom? Dad? I don't know, they don't show us which one. But she says “is this your daughter? She's pathetic.” Bayley starts to come back. Bayley goes for a Bayley to Belly, but Alexa grabs her by the hair and pulls her into the middle turnbuckle face first. Bliss goes up, only to be met by Bayley. Alexa hits a Yoshi-Tonic after fighting Bayley off. Bayley hits an elbow from the rope and gets a two count off it. Bayley backs Bliss up into the corner. Alexa shoves her back. Bayley charges in but Bliss gets her legs up and goes for a sunset flip, but Bayley sits on her and hooks the legs. Alexa kicks out and Bayley goes head first into the ring post. She grabs her head and the referee is asking her if she's okay. Bliss yells “She's fine!” Bliss grabs Bayley and brings her to the center of the ring. Bayley pulls her in for a small package, Alexa kicks out while keeping Bayley's head hooked so she can DDT her when they stand back up. Bliss pins Bayley and takes the gold.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 5(?): Seth Rollins def. Samoa Joe (15:55)

I really wasn't sure where to position this match in the review, considering there's another match that begins before it but doesn't end until after it. But we'll do this one first. Now I think this match is underrated. Is it the flashiest match ever? No. But I really liked how ruthless Joe looked as he picked Seth's knee apart. Seth does a good job at evading the hands of Joe early, by using his speed advantage. Seth hits a couple suicide dives to the outside. Joe hits a drag and screw leg whip to hurt Seth's knee. Seth rolls outside and Joe dives on him through the ropes. Joe takes Seth back in the ring and goes right after that knee. And unlike the previous matches, he gives Seth just enough offense before bringing him back down. He catches Seth and hits kind of the opposite of the muscle buster, and drops Seth on both of his knees. He puts Seth's knee in a brutal knee bar, just doing whatever he can to do damage to the knee. Joe hits Seth with a powerbomb and pins him. Seth kicks out, which Joe then transitions to a half crab. Seth reaches the ropes. But eventually, the come back has to start. Seth fights back as best he can on a bad knee. He hits a blockbuster, a falcon arrow, and a frog splash, all of these moves, as you could imagine is bad for his knee. The intensity starts to pick up, but unfortunately, right as the match looked like it was about to get really good, it ends. Joe catches Seth in the Coquina Clutch, and Seth counters it by rolling forward in the hold. Joe's shoulders are (kind of) on the mat as the referee counts three. So not the classic we (or at least I) was expecting but it was still very good so no use crying about it. If I were to offer criticism though, the match didn't feel as heated as it should've. And Joe should've won, I think he needed it a lot more than Seth did.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 6(?): House of Horrors Match - Bray Wyatt def. Randy Orton

Jesus Christ, where do I begin? Where, oh where do I begin. Haunted tractor anyone? Can you imagine a Hollywood horror movie written by Vince McMahon? I can and I hate it. And the fact that this era was so bad that I couldn't tell if the haunted tractor was supposed to be serious or not says it all. And listen, I can forgive unbelievably cheesy this. I can forgive the haunted tractor. The creepy dolls and all that dumb shit because at least its bad in a funny way. But god dammit, why did Bray run away every time he had the advantage? The whole first part of this match is just Randy walking around the “spooooooky” house and Bray blindsides him, they fight in that room for a bit and then runs and hides again. It just makes Bray look like a pansy! The first half of this ends with Bray dropping a fridge on Orton (not really). Then Bray leaves the house because oh yeah, I forgot the stupid rule to this match where the it has to end in the arena. Then what is the fucking point of fighting in a “SPOOOOOOOKY” house then?! Was any thought whatsofuckingever put into this?! Jesus, and I thought the Fiend/Orton Mania Match was terrible. I've changed my mind, I hate this match more! Oh and I'm forgetting a crucial detail. As Bray is posing in front of the house, a big bright red light shines over the house because obviously, the SPOOOOOKIEST thing ever is red lighting. Anyway, Bray tells the driver of a nearby limo to take him to the arena. So after the Seth/Joe match ends, Bray arrives, walks to the ring and stands in the ring. When the lights come back on, Randy Orton is standing behind him, which begs the question, how did he get there? Did he ride in on the tractor? They never tell us how so I'm going to believe that just to make myself laugh. Anyway, uh, Orton whoops Bray's ass cause Bray's a pussy apparently. Orton RKOs Bray in the ring before he's attacked from behind by Jinder Mahal. Because of course. Bray beats Orton with a Sister Abigail after Jinder goddamn Mahal's assistance… Ugh. This was painful. Bray was the WWE Champion just 2 months ago. What the fuck happened?

My Rating: DUD

Main Event: Braun Strowman def. Roman Reigns (11:50)

From one headache to another. And no I'm not talking about Roman Reigns. I'm talking Roman Reigns’ booking. He comes out all bandaged up, barely put together because Braun tried to kill him only a few weeks before. The match starts with Roman rocking Strowman with a few shots to the face, despite the fact that Roman is supposedly coming in as badly as he is. Strowman's first bit of offense is when he throws Roman into the barricade and Roman sells it like its the worst pain imaginable. He follows that with a chokeslam on the announce table, and then rolls Reigns back in the ring to begin the massacre. I would've respected them a lot more if they had just let Braun squash Roman. But no way in a million years would Vince have let that happen. Braun brutalizes Roman for a while. Roman eventually starts an unconvincing comeback. He sends Strowman outside, he pushes Braun into the ring post and then Braun runs into it face first. Roman rolls in the ring and Braun gets in before the count of 10. Roman ducks under a clothesline and hits a Spear off the ropes. He covers Braun, who kicks out. Roman hits Braun with a couple Superman Punches, bounces off the ropes again, but Braun tosses him in the air, chokes Roman out before hitting a Powerslam that Roman kicks out of. Braun picks Roman back up again and hits another Powerslam to win the match. And then the aftermath is so funny just because of how obvious it is that Vince is trying to get sympathy for Roman. Braun grabs the steel steps outside and crushes Roman’s ribs with it. Braun leaves as blood starts to pool from Roman's mouth. Vince broke his own no blood rule just to try to get Roman cheered. Did they really think this would work? They cheered Braun last time he maimed Roman. “Lets do it again. They'll cheer this time. They got to.” So. Very. Tone deaf.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.64

My Rating: 7.5/10

In ring wise, this was a great show. Even though, none of the matches are really standout, almost all of them are pretty good (apart from House of Horrors wearing a dunce cap in the corner). But I guess my main problem would be the way its booked and the fact that because nothing stands out, there isn't very much reason to watch this show, and thats a shame because on paper, this card looks amazing. I was really expecting Seth and Joe to have an instant classic at the time and while they do have the best match on the card, it really isn't that.

 

[Jarf]

I'm going to be taking a survey. This is a little idea inspired by a YouTuber by the name of Art Carter called Heroes of WrestleMania. I want my readers to give me about 10 names that you think are the most important figures in Mania history. You can base that off any criteria you want. How many great matches they've had. How many times they've main evented. How many important matches they've been part of, etc.

The 20 names I see the most, I will rank each of their matches at WrestleMania in individual lists once I've finished this thread.

Since I have no doubt I'll still reviewing on this thread by WrestleMania next year, then also feel free to suggest someone later based off how Mania 41 goes.

So please let me know who you believe are the Heroes of WrestleMania!

 

[Jarf]

Royal Rumble 2025

Match 1: Royal Rumble Match - Charlotte Flair won by last eliminating Roxanne Perez (1:10:20)

Starting the night off with the Women's Rumble. And I have to say, compared to the Women's Rumble in 2024, I wasn't all that impressed with this one. First off, let me start off by saying 2 and a half minute intervals is too long. A minute and a half is just perfect. Please stick to that next time. But in any case, let me start off by saying Roxanne making it to the final 2 from number 3. Thats a surprise and a pretty good one. Good way to debut her (officially) on the main roster since it looks like she's here to stay. Starting the match with Iyo and Liv and then Roxanne was pretty good. It had a promising beginning but as the match went on, it became less fun to watch. I will say though that Chelsea Green was the highlight of the first half of the match. She is incredibly good at being the ditzy bombshell. I also liked the stuff they did with Maxxine and Ivy. And eliminating Maxxine right after that was smart. She got her spot in and she doesn't need any more exposure. Other than that, the first half of this match is pretty uneventful. I also thought that eliminating Lyra so early was an odd decision. I'd say when Jordynne Grace got in the match is when it started to pick up and it started to feel like a Royal Rumble. And it only gets better as Alexa Bliss FINALLY returns at 21 (with a Bray tribute jacket). We have other first timers like Stephanie Vaquer and the NXT Champion Giulia coming in, we of course have Trish Stratus come in at 25. Raquel Rodriguez comes in and helps Liv spoil everyone's fun and eliminate Alexa. But out comes Charlotte next and I'm pretty sure she takes about the full 2 and a half minutes to get to the ring. She eliminates Michin and Piper once she gets in the ring. Theres a little standoff and fight between Roxy, Giulia and Vaquer against Charlotte, Bayley and Bianca, that was kinda cool. Nia Jax comes in at 29 and takes out most of the field. She eliminates Zelina Vega and Trish, but not before Trish gets rid of her buddy Candice. We come down to Number 30, which is… Nikki Bella… Eh. I guess I shouldn't expect too much. At this point in the match, there's still 11 women in the ring. But a pile up forms at the front of the ring over the ropes as a bunch of women try to eliminate each other. And Nia Jax just charges pushes nearly everyone with her body. She eliminates Raquel, Vaquer, Iyo, Naomi, Belair and Liv, leaving us with 6 left. Roxy eliminates Giulia, Nikki eliminates Bayley, who lasted a while herself. Nikki is then thrown out by Nia. Roxy hooks Nia's head with her legs from the apron and Charlotte uses that chance to throw her over. Leaving us with two. They try to make it seem like Roxy got a shot but we all know she doesn't. Charlotte hits a big boot and Roxy falls to the floor. Charlotte wins. And I can understand being upset by that. But at the time, I was looking at it this way. This meant she would either be facing Tiffany Stratton or Rhea Ripley (cause I was under the impression Rhea would be champ going into Mania). And either scenario, the match would be incredible.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship 2 Out of 3 Falls Match - #DIY (c) def. The Motor City Machine Guns (14:00)

I think I enjoyed this match more than most, but even so, I think this would've been better served as a regular, one fall to a finish match. I'm of the opinion that 2 Out of 3 Falls Matches should be 20+ minutes with only a few exceptions. The stipulation just felt unnecessary here. I do like that DIY used wit to dominate the first 2 falls. The first fall was won because DIY faked a tag. Shelley thinks Gargano is the legal man but gets kneed in the face by Ciampa. DIY wins the first fall. And in the second fall, they do their best to keep Shelley from tagging Sabin. They use tactics like distracting the ref as Sabin gets tagged. They use a Shatter Machine to shout their old rivals. But Sabin eventually gets the tag. They start to come back and hit Skull and Bones on Gargano. Its now 1-1. The final fall is when they actually start building steam and we may get a classic. But its pretty well over as soon as that happens. But I liked what they did here however short it was. DIY pull out a superkick/Fairy Tale ending combo. As in kick from Gargano as Ciampa has Sabin up before Tommaso drops him. Shelley saves the match. Machine Guns whip out a powerbomb/block buster from the top rope on Ciampa. Shelley covers him but Johnny shoves Sabin into the pinfall to stop it. The end of the match is pretty good at least. Gargano accidentally superkicks Ciampa which leads to him getting double teamed. Machine Guns go for Skull and Bones but Montez Ford leaps on the apron, distracts our referee, Angelo Dawkins hits the other side, slams Shelley in the back with a crutch. Gargano throws Sabin into a ring post. DIY hit Meet in the Middle to win the match. If this wasn't a 2 Out of 3 Falls Match, I probably would've liked it more. I'm also of the opinion that the first 2 falls should also end as if its the end of a regular match. Because otherwise DIY would've won after that first knee.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 3: Undisputed WWE Championship Ladder Match - Cody Rhodes (c) def. Kevin Owens (25:22)

Now… I do have a gripe about this match. And you guessed it. Its the length. This didn't need to go nearly half an hour. Other than that, I really liked it. It was a brawl early in the start, it had a promising start. They went into the audience. The issue comes from the really slow pace. Even so, there were some points they did really fun stuff. Cody was hanging onto the championships in the air and swung to the other side of the ladder. Cody broke off the bottom rung of a ladder and beat Kevin with it. But then KO started hitting Dusty Rhodes style punches and the final blow was with the bottom rung. That was pretty funny. I'd say the first rough bump Kevin took was the back drop onto the edge of laid down ladder. The way he just laid there after made it look more painful. Owens bridged a ladder between two ends of the bottom rope and powerbombed Cody on it. They didn't do a whole lot in this match, but what they did do was BRUTAL and I think that's why this match works. Owens bridged the same ladder between the bottom rope and the ladder standing up in the ring. And to make a long story short, Cody takes a Fisherman Buster over that. Owens sells it too. The way Cody gets stood up and then falls forward was amazing. So with both men down, some EMTs and Nick Aldis come out. Sami Zayn goes out too to make sure they're both okay. Owens is the first man to his feet, so he picks Cody up and tries a Stunner, only for Cody to reverse it into a Cross Rhodes. And then Cody loses it. He bounces Owens’ head off the ring post and the announce table, it cuts Owens’ face open. There is a ladder bridged between the apron and the table. So Cody throws Owens on the table, KO is able to low blow Cody. And for a second, I legitimately thought Cody was about to take a Package Piledriver through the ladder, but Cody reverses it, picks Owens up on his shoulders and drops Kevin through the ladder with an Alabama Slam! Immediately, people start trying to help Owens. Cody goes back in the ring, climbs the ladder and brings both titles down. Not as epic of a blowoff as they were hoping it would be in my opinion. I'll be honest though, Owens sold the Alabama Slam so well that I thought he was actually dead for a minute or two.

My Rating: ****

Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Jey Uso won by last eliminating John Cena (1:20:11)

Despite what people on Reddit will try to tell you, this Rumble was fantastic. And in my opinion, one of the all time best Rumble Matches. The best of the HHH era. And something they did very well in this match that they didn't in the women's was giving everyone a chance to shine. I feel like almost everyone in the match has a spot you could call out. The match starts with Rey Mysterio and Penta, Chad Gable at 3, Carmelo Hayes at 4 and Santos Escobar at 5. So this Rumble got off to a good start. Bron Breakker is number 7 and he has a pretty good performance. First thing he does is Spear Melo and throw him out. IShowSpeed is in the match after Tozawa was taken out… By an elbow from Carmelo Hayes… Poor Tozawa. So HHH tells Speed to go to the ring. Him and Bron eliminate Otis together before Bron brutally murders him with a Spear! Which was awesome! Bron throws him out. The MVP of the match, Jacob Fatu is 12 and he eliminates Gable, Mysterio and Andrade. Fatu kills it in this match. He's fantastic. Even my dad, who is not easy to impress, thinks Fatu is awesome. But at 15… SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS! I BELIEVE IN JOE HENDRY! Joe Hendry walks out and graces us with his presence because somebody must have said his name! Ya love to see it. But then an almost equally big star comes out. Roman Reigns at 16. And in the time he's in the ring, the numbers slim down significantly. He eliminates Miz, Sheamus, Joe Hendry somehow. He goes face to face with Bron Breakker. Roman and Bron is a future Mania main event, I'm calling it now. And I say that based off the fact that Bron Speared the HELL out of Roman! Roman manages to reverse Bron who throw him out but by the look on Roman's face, he didn't want no more of Bron Breakker. Future main event right there. You heard it here first. Drew McIntyre is 17 and he marches to the ring on a mission. To take out Roman and any of his allies. Penta is eliminated shortly after a few more guys come out. The match begins to slow down around this point. Jey Uso is number 20 and gets the biggest reaction of the night. Let me say that again for any non beyeeters in the thread. THE. BIGGEST. POP. OF THE. NIGHT! So Jey gets a big reaction and the hits keep coming with AJ Styles at 21, back with his good theme song instead of the one I wanted none of. Braun Strowman is 22 and eliminates Fatu. Wish it would've been by someone they actually had plans for but its alright. That really nice guy, John Cena comes out next and gets rid of Strowman and Finn Balor. He has a staredown with Roman before CM Punk's music hits and he comes down next. He has a 3 way Mexican standoff with Roman and Cena. Then the countdown starts again and I love the face Roman made when he heard “BURN IT DOWN!” 3 of the heaviest hitters in the match happened to draw 3 chronological numbers huh? I'll take it, I'm just saying its funny. Seth guns right for Punk and the ring is filled with some big names. You got Punk, Seth, Roman, Cena, AJ, Drew and Jey in there and then 26 comes out… its Dominik Mysterio. I love that actually. At this point, its just a countdown to 30, who is… Logan Paul. Which I knew it was gonna be because he was announced for the match but that doesn’t make me any less disappointed. But now we find ourselves at our final 10. McIntyre is eliminated by Damian Priest, who is then eliminated by LA Knight, who's eliminated by AJ Styles. AJ is eliminated by Paul (grrr). But after this Roman and Seth take the rest of the field out, leaving just the two of them standing. And I think this sequence is my favorite part of the match. I really liked what they did here between each other. It comes to end when Punk dumps both of them out at the same time. But then to everyone's surprise, he's thrown out by Logan Paul. (Oooo). And then to set up what is probably gonna be a Triple Threat. Punk and Roman spit some words at each other before Seth stomps Roman's head into the floor. Him and Punk get into a fight before they get separated. Seth flips Paul Heyman the bird and stomps Roman again. Back to the ring, Logan is eliminated by Cena (Thank fuck). And we come down to 2. And I'd say this is up there in terms of Rumble final 2's. I think a lot of people had Cena winning but I wasn't expecting Jey Uso to make it this far. So all bets were off now. And I think the ending is great. With both men on the apron, they each try to get back in the ring, only for the other to pull the other guy back out. Cena picks Jey up for an AA to the floor, but Jey lands back in the ring and pushes Cena to the floor. And… Wait, Jey Uso won? He won? Holyyyyyy shit! And it doesn't matter how many nerds cry on the internet, you can't convince me this was a bad choice when the audience went wild when he won. Remember when people complained when an over guy didn't get pushed. Now its the opposite. What strange times we live in. Overall, this was an all around amazing Rumble. Gotta be at least top 5 best. Really great match.

My Rating: ****1/2

Cagematch Rating: 5.82

My Rating: 9/10

This event got obliterated shortly after it was over and from what I can tell, it was because they didn't like the winners of the Rumbles. And thats perfectly fine, they don't have to like them. Charlotte is a little more understandable. But its awfully funny how I never saw anyone whining about Jey Uso until he won the Rumble. Suddenly people didn't like him. (Smh). My overall thoughts on the show? Incredible! Awesome Rumble. My only criticisms are just small nit picks here and there. Women's Rumble could've been better but I won't dwell on that. Just a fantastic show that doesn't deserve the hate that its received.

 

[Jarf]

Money in the Bank 2012

Match 1: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Dolph Ziggler def. Christian, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Sin Cara, Tyson Kidd & Tensai (18:29)

What a weird match this is. It was pretty weak at the start. It was slow and botchy, (looking at you Sin Cara). But then suddenly, the pace picks up and we get some insane jaw droppers. They treated Ziggler and Rhodes as the favorites to win this match. They're front and center a couple times. Santino gets a comedy spot where he doesn't wanna climb the ladder but the cobra does. Cody springboards in and dropkicks him off the ladder. He goes to climb it himself but Vickie Guerrero climbs up the other side, distracting him long enough for Dolph to come in and Zig Zag him off. Ziggler climbs up one side and he gets stopped by Christian. As they're fighting on the ladder, Tyson Kidd grabs a ladder leaning on one side of the side and launches himself from the top rope to the ladder in the ring and he goes for a sunset flip powerbomb from the side but the way Dolph sells it, he lands on his face! Christian and Sandow take each other out, meanwhile, Tensai has bridged a ladder between the apron and the announce table. He powerbombs Sin Cara over it. He grabs Ziggler and just tosses that man over the announce table and Dolph looks like he dies! Cody hits a couple Disaster Kicks from the apron and Tensai's body gets splayed on the bridged ladder. Cody climbs the ladder in the ring, Tyson climbs the other side and Cody throws him off with a front suplex. But Christian has climbed up a ladder beside the one in the center and Spears Cody off of it! Christian climbs one side, Santino gets up and climbs the other. Christian knocks Santino off, and he slides down as if his chin hits every rung going down. Christian is about to take this when Ziggler runs on the bridged ladder, jumps inside and pushes Christian off, making him hit the ladder beside them. Ziggler makes the climb and takes the briefcase! Dolph wins. And he pretty much died for this match so he deserved to.

My Rating: ****

Match 2: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Sheamus (c) def. Alberto Del Rio (14:23)

The first in a trilogy that absolutely no one wanted. This match was not good. For a 14 minute match, it feels longer than that. And not gonna lie, Sheamus did not come out looking good. So much of this match is just Del Rio working the arm. Sheamus would get small shorts here and there. But Del Rio dominates so much of this match that he should've just won really. I don't think Sheamus’ comeback made this win feel earned. It was just the same thing the whole match. Del Rio works the arm. Small Sheamus comeback, rinse and fucking repeat. Its so boring. Del Rio misses an enziguri. Sheamus picks him up for a Celtic Cross and hits a Brogue Kick to win the match. Whatever. As Sheamus celebrates, he's attacked by Del Rio and Ricardo and Ziggler comes down with the briefcase he just won. He knocks Del Rio out with it and gives it to the referee. Unfortunately, he's got Mike Chioda in there, who is the most confused referee of all time. So before he can even cash it in, he turns around into a Brogue Kick. So no cash-in.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Primo & Epico def. The Prime Time Players (7:31)

I think this event only had 4 matches booked in advance and everything else is just filler. I also find it strange how they had the #1 contenders for the Tag Titles lose. Yes, at this point, PTP apparently had still yet to receive their title match they earned at No Way Out. And then they just lost this match. And thats understandable if you're gonna add Primo and Epico to the eventual title match. But I don't think they did. So this was just a very strange way to book. Believe it or not, this match wasn't that bad. Its actually better than the last one funny enough. Primo and Epico pretty much carry it, they fly over the ropes, doing dives. PTP keep Epico away from his corner. Epico eventually reaches Primo and the pace picks up again. There's a pretty sweet counter where Darren Young counters a springboard crossbody into a Gutbuster. Its a bit upsetting that got no reaction because I thought that was a nice counter. Darren gets caught by surprise by Primo and pinned. The #1 Contenders lose, which is really weird. Especially on a PPV. Like, a weekly Raw is a little better but on PPV? It just doesn't make sense to me.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 4: WWE Championship No DQ Match with AJ as Special Referee - CM Punk (c) def. Daniel Bryan (27:47)

Once again, CM Punk gets passed over for the main event despite having the best match on the card. No matter. Doesn't come close to touching what they did at Over the Limit, but this match was amazing too. I'm glad that everyone remembers this feud for the amazing series of matches it is instead of the soap opera they wanted it to be. Very early in the match, AJ is knocked off the apron after Bryan shoves Punk into her. So she's taken to the back because the referee shirt is like a curse. Anyone who puts it on just becomes fragile. But they have a new referee and they just start working. Bryan starts going after Punk's ribs. He brings out a kendo stick. Punk avoids it for a bit but Bryan ultimately uses it again and again over Punk. Bryan puts Punk in the stretch muffler, but Punk is able to escape, he grabs the kendo stick and just wails Bryan with it rapid fire. Bryan hits a superplex and as both men are down, AJ comes back, tells the new referee to leave and goes back to reffing. She skips around the ring and grabs a chair from under the ring. Literally me refereeing on a video game. She drops it in the ring. Both Bryan and Punk look puzzled but scramble for the chair. Bryan is the one who gets it and he beats Punk with the chair and covers him. After Punk kicks out, Bryan gets up and calmly tells AJ she needs to count to 3. Then Punk rolls him up from behind and she nearly does. Bryan starts kicking the shit out of Punk but Punk comes out of the corner with a clothesline before he picks the chair up and wails Bryan with it now. AJ stops Punk from using the chair and then stops Bryan from using the kendo stick. What confusing overbooking. Punk body slams Bryan on the chair and goes up to hit an elbow but misses and hits the chair instead. Bryan locks in the Yes Lock and uses the kendo stick to pull Punk's head back. Punk manages to escape by biting Bryan's hand. Punk stands up, hooking Bryan's legs, catapulting him into the ring post before hitting a GTS. Punk takes forever to cover him so Bryan kicks out. Punk goes outside, grabs a table and sets it up in the ring. There's a lot of detail that sets up this finish so to make it short. Punk hits a back drop on Bryan through the table from the top rope. Punk positions himself on top and AJ counts the three. I definitely could've done without all the referee nonsense but Punk and Bryan delivered a fantastic match despite all that. Their Over the Limit match is clearly superior but this is a gem in itself.

My Rating: ****1/2

Match 5: 2-on-1 Handicap Match - Ryback def. Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks (4:20)

These next two matches are just filler really. This one is tag rules so Hawkins and Reks have to tag in and out. They actually manage to take Ryback off his feet but Ryback in the end takes it after a Shell Shock to Reks, continuing his undefeated streak.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 6: Layla, Kaitlyn & Tamina def. Beth Phoenix, Natalya & Eve Torres (3:23)

This is about what you can expect from the ladies at this time. Everyone gets tagged in at some point to get their spot in. Theres a big scuffle at the end with everyone in the ring. Because she was leaving, Beth takes the pin, eating a superkick by Tamina and then a neckbreaker by Layla.

My Rating: *1/2

Main Event: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - John Cena def. Big Show, Kane, Chris Jericho & The Miz (20:04)

Okay, by a show of hands, who thought that anyone other than Cena was going to win… No. No one. Exactly. I could've seen Big Show winning it but who wanted that shit. And no way were Kane, Jericho or the last minute guy, Miz winning it. Can't believe Punk and Bryan were passed over for this AGAIN! Now despite the… field, this match was not bad, but it wasn't good either. Certainly not worth ending the show, especially when the winner isn't in doubt. Big Show really controls the match early, knocking down anyone in his path, even Kane. But Big Show gets taken out and he's down for a while because everyone gangs up on him. Cena puts him through a table with an AA. And then everyone just starts piling ladders on him. It becomes a scramble to get to the briefcase with the rest of the participants coming in and out. Nothing that really stands out apart from Cena hitting an AA on Kane on top of Miz who was already laid out on a ladder. Jericho takes Cena out with a ladder and goes to climb a new one. But Big Show rises out and destroys the ladder Jericho was climbing. Big Show throws ladders at pretty much everyone else before going outside and grabbing a massive, golden ladder that Big Show himself could barely even lift. Big Show goes to climb it. Kane climbs up the other side but gets KO'd by a punch. He's gone the rest of the match. Big Show is close to grabbing the case but Jericho comes back in and slams a chair across his back (and ass), wails him with it. He climbs up the ladder along with Cena. Cena looks like he's about to AA Jericho, but Jericho slides around and locks in a sleeper hold as they stand up there. And god damn, they just linger on this spot. This is 3 minutes of the match here. So Cena eventually goes out and falls off the ladder, Jericho pretty much has the case unclasped. But Miz gets up to stop him. They both have their hands on the clasp. Big Show gets back up though and climbs up beside Miz. He knocks out Jericho, knocks out Miz. But Cena is back up from his short nap. He climbs the other side and shields his face with the briefcase as Big Show goes to punch him too. The hook on the case breaks as Cena holds it, and thank fuck it did. That actually saved them because the finish was getting fucked up real bad. Cena has the case in his hands, bell rings and hits Big Show with the case before celebrating. Woopdie fuckin doo. This is as bad of an ending as Brock winning in 2019 for me. Because one, John Cena DID NOT need the briefcase, and afterward it was just to set up a match at Raw 1000 which, again, didn't require the briefcase. It just feels like a way of putting another accolade on Cena. Like a waste of time.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 6.65

My Rating: 6/10

My rating was pretty much influenced by the opener and the WWE Title match. Because man, there is nothing else worth watching. 3 out of 7 of these matches are just filler which tells me they were creatively drained at this point. Couldn't be bothered to form a compelling build or card. And I think the way this show turned out perfectly reflects what probably everyone's expectations were, because aside from the first Ladder Match and the WWE Title Match, this card looks like ass.