WrestleMania XIV
Match 1: WWF Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Battle Royal - The Legion of Doom won by last eliminating The Midnight Express (8:19)
Honestly, I'm glad we got the worst part of the night out of the way first. This was messy. First off, only 2 teams got an entrance. Faarooq and Kama Mustafa of the Nation and the returning LOD. So I have no clue who was in this. They never tell us who's teaming with who before the match starts. Bradshaw was teaming with Chainz for some reason. And it also doesn't help that the rule is only one team member has to be thrown over for both members to be eliminated. So Barry Windham runs down and throws out Chainz because he's feuding with Bradshaw I guess. But Bradshaw doesn't know until a moment later cause a referee has to tell him. D'Lo Brown gets thrown out, but his partner, Mark Henry doesn't know that and I'm pretty sure he's in there for at least another 3 minutes. The match comes down to LOD, Midnight Express, The DOA and The Godwinns. One of the baldies is thrown out and then he gets back in and they throw out the Godwinns and then try to fight LOD for some reason. It doesn't look like they have any shred of a clue of what they were doing. Then The Godwinns grab a couple of buckets and they crack LOD in the back with it. What the hell is going on? Anyway, the Midnight Express can't beat LOD and they're both thrown out. LOD win this mess of a match. On the bright side, this was the worst moment of the night. We can only go up from here.
My Rating: *
Match 2: Light Heavyweight Championship Match - Taka Michinoku (c) def. Aguila (5:57)
Quick and to the point, I like it. Its wild to me that Aguila was 19 in this match. I was the biggest loser on the beach at 19 and this guy was having a match at WrestleMania. Not a long match, just a quick fast paced one. They get all their shit in quick. All the moves they could pull out in 6 minutes, they did. Aguila hits a sick moonsault from the top rope to the outside floor. But Taka later tops that with a running springboard crossbody to the floor. Aguila hits a few arm drags first from the top rope and then he springboards off the ropes and gets Taka again. Taka rolls to the outside and Aguila gets him with a corkscrew dive over the top to the floor. Taka tries for a corkscrew moonsault but Aguila dodges him and hits regular moonsault. He places Taka on the top rope and leaps up to hit a head scissors to the mat. But Taka fires back with moves of his own. A missile dropkick and a sitout powerbomb. Taka misses a moonsault from the top rope. Aguila goes up and comes off the top, but gets hit with a dropkick from Taka, who hits the Michinoku Driver for the win. Exciting and fast paced match. The two shake hands and we move on.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: European Championship Match - Triple H (c) def. Owen Hart (11:29)
A nice midcard match. Although I think Owen should've been main eventing (not this particular event, but in general). He was over as hell after the Screwjob went down. HHH had only been the European Champ for about 2 weeks here. Having taken it off Owen by taking advantage of an ankle injury. The special stipulation to this match was that Sgt. Slaughter would handcuff himself and Chyna together (kinky) to stop her from interfering. Owen comes out of the gate hot. He tackles HHH as soon as he gets in the ring he punches HHH repeatedly in the face outside the ring in front of Chyna, who has to be pulled back by Slaughter. But HHH finally takes Owen down with a knee to the face. He bloodies Owen's nose with a kick the face and goes to work on his previously injured ankle. But Owen is able to turn it around by dragging HHH dick first into the ring post. Then he starts to hit all the classics, missile dropkick, heel kick, enziguri. Owen goes for a leaping hurricanrana but HHH counters it into a powerbomb. HHH tries for a Pedigree, Owen sweeps his legs and tries for the Sharpshooter. But HHH shoves him off with his legs, and Owen falls face first into his crotch. HHH tries for the Pedigree again, but Owen reverses with a backdrop, but HHH tries to counter into a sunset flip pin, Owen rolls back onto his feet and rolls HHH over for the Sharpshooter. HHH crawls towards Chyna for help. Chyna overpowers Slaughter for a moment to help HHH grab the bottom rope. Owen pulls HHH and rains fists down on his face and Chyna takes a moment to throw some powder right into Slaughter's eyes. Owen runs over to berate her and HHH puts a knee into his back. The referee backs HHH and as he does, Chyna hops on the apron and low blows Owen. HHH brings him back to the center and hits a Pedigree to take the win.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 4: Sable & Marc Mero def. Luna Vachon & Goldust (9:11)
Its at least better than it sounds on paper. Its weird in a way that Sable is the only babyface in the match. Right away, this match makes me mad. The match starts with Marc and Goldust. Goldust quickly tags out to Luna, who wants to fight Mero, but as soon as Sable comes in, Luna runs from her. That sentence feels dirty to write out. Luna deserved better is what I'm saying. Luna quickly tags Goldust back in. Mero tags Sable back inside and again, Luna refuses to fight Sable. Luna was a legitimate badass, no way she should be afraid of Sable. Mero and Goldust go at it some more before Sable and Luna are both tagged in and this face off gets a big pop so I guess I can't knock it too much. But I wish Luna would've gotten to look good a little bit. Luna tags Goldust backs in and he marches up to Sable as if he's gonna do something, but Sable clocks him in the face. Mero gets back in and Goldust spits at Sable, who tries to get in and is held back by the referee. Mero low blows Goldust from behind and goes for the TKO, but Goldust counters it into a DDT. Mero later goes up and hits a moonsault, almost lands on his head. Mero is kicked by Luna as he runs the ropes. Goldust goes to save her from Mero, who looks like he's about to strike her. Mero dodges and Goldust knocks Luna off the apron. Mero rolls Goldust up from behind, Goldie kicks out. Mero covers him, but Luna gets in and rakes his back. He hops on his back and Mero stumbles to the corner, Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust. The referee is distracted trying to get Mero out and Luna heads to the top rope. Sable gets off Goldust and Luna ends up splashing him. Sable picks Luna up and drops her with a piledriver, stacks her up and Luna kicks out. Luna rakes Sable's eyes and starts choking her on the middle rope. The crowd starts chanting “Sable! Sable!” Sable reverses an irish whip and hits Mero's TKO to pin Luna. I think I would've liked this match a bit more if they hadn't made Luna and Goldust look foolish to cover up Sable's lack of in ring ability.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - The Rock (c) def. Ken Shamrock via DQ (4:49)
I'm not mad over this. I'm just wondering what the point is? Like, how was either of these two guys supposed to come out looking better from this? The Rock comes out first. Shamrock rushes towards the ring and lays into The Rock early. He clotheslines Rock over the top rope and goes after him, brings him back to the ring. Rock fights back, gets his shit in. He hits the People’s Elbow before it was called the People's Elbow or even a finisher. Shamrock goes outside and grabs a chair cause he's not that bright. The referee tries to take it from him. Shamrock throws the chair down and the referee at the same time. Rock grabs the chair and cracks Shamrock in the head with it as the referee is down. Rock covers Ken, but Shamrock not only kicks out, he throws Rock’s body off him. Shamrock gets up and gets into the zone. He starts to throw Rock around effortlessly and then puts him in the Ankle Lock. Rock's mouth is busted and he taps out to Shamrock. New IC Champion. D'Lo, Kama and Mark Henry all get in to attack Shamrock, but he hands each of them a belly to belly and reapplies the Ankle Lock. Faarooq runs down to potentially help Rock. But Rock hit him in the head with a chair on Raw, so Faarooq says “screw you” and leaves. Ken doesn't let go of the Ankle Lock and eventually a bunch of referees and suits run out to pry Shamrock off The Rock. But Ken hands out belly to bellies for them too. Shamrock is on a warpath. But then Finkel gets on the mic and makes the announcement that the referee has refused the decision and disqualified Shamrock for not breaking the ankle lock. So Shamrock resnaps and chases the medical guys carrying the Rock out. He beats up The Rock some more before a few guys get between the two of them. Then he leaves. I don't know who this was supposed to help. Neither guy came out of this looking particularly good. So I'm a little confused what the point of this was.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 6: WWF Tag Team Championship Dumpster Match - Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie def. The New Age Outlaws (c) (10:01)
This match was a mess, but in a good way. It actually helped it in a way. Some guys roll a dumpster out to the ring. The way you win this match is by throwing both your opponents in the dumpster and closing the lid. So basically the same rules as a Casket Match or Ambulance Match. The match is a brawl from the start Cactus and Funk meet The Outlaws outside. The Outlaws get the better of the old timers. They hang Jack and Funk's heads over the top of the dumpster and repeatedly drop the lids on their heads. The Outlaws throw the insane old men into the dumpster and just as Road Dogg is about to shut the lid, Cactus pops out and puts the Mandible Claw on him. Billy hits him over the head with something metal. Funk opens the other lid and hits Billy over the head with a cookie sheet. Jack and Funk get out of the dumpster and beat on the Outlaws with cookie sheets. Cactus drags a ladder out from under the ring and throws it inside. He starts to climb to probably drop an elbow on Road Dogg. But Billy gets back in and low blows Funk. Billy climbs up the other side of the ladder and begins fighting with Cactus. Road Dogg swings a sheet into Funk's head. And Funk stumbles back, accidentally pushing the ladder and causing Jack and Billy both to fall into the dumpster. God I know that fucking sucked for both of them. Funk takes a bad bump a moment later. Road Dogg helps Billy get up and crawl out. Cactus climbs out a moment later. Billy powerbombs Funk into the dumpster. The Outlaws realize Cactus has made it out of the dumpster and chase him. The Outlaws beat Cactus to the backstage area. They make their way towards a forklift. Jack just so happens to find a steel chair around and whacks them both in the head with it. Jack hits a Double Arm DDT on the pallet on the floor to Billy. He throws Road Dogg onto the pallet too. And Funk hops on the forklift, lifts the pallet towards a dumpster which happens to be back there. Jack rolls the Outlaws into the dumpster and closes the lids, giving them the Tag Team Titles! The old men win. Which seemingly was leading Jack and Funk against LOD at Unforgiven, which sounds awesome! Unfortunately, thats not what happened. Same old boring LOD/Outlaws match people had seen so much already.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 7: The Undertaker def. Kane (16:58)
I think we can agree that this is Undertaker and Kane's best match together. People might think I'm overrating this match but I've always loved it. The story they told was great. And despite losing, Kane comes out looking like a monster. Kane dominates this match. Undertaker is on the defense for nearly the entire match. Undertaker gets a few shots near the beginning of the match but Kane stands his ground and hardly even flinches on every blow. But Kane catches Undertaker coming off the ropes and hits like a running powerslam into the corner, hanging Undertaker in the tree of woe. And now is the point when Kane starts to really pummel Taker. Undertaker dodges a couple clotheslines. He comes off the ropes. But Taker actually leaps onto Kane's shoulders and punches down on his head. But Kane drops Taker forward, dropping the deadman right on his face. Kane takes Undertaker outside and slams the steel steps into his back. And normally I would question why that wasn't a DQ, but if I were that referee, I wouldn't wanna disqualify Kane either. Paul Bearer takes a shot at Undertaker too as Kane has the referee backed into a corner in the ring. Kane pummels Undertaker again and Jim Ross suggests that Taker might be trying to get Kane to punch himself out. Undertaker comes out of the corner with a clothesline that hardly moves Kane. Undertaker runs the ropes, ducking under a couple clotheslines, but Kane catches him by the throat and drops Taker with a Chokeslam. Kane covers Undertaker. 1, 2. Kane picks Undertaker up by his hair to stop the count. Obviously, he's nowhere close to being done with him. Kane starts to wear Taker out but Undertaker picks Kane up by his waist and over the top rope, Undertaker boots Kane off the apron and then dives over the top. Kane sidesteps and Undertaker crashes through the spanish announce table! All this and Undertaker has yet to knock Kane off his feet this whole match. Kane tosses Undertaker back inside and hits a flying clothesline off the top rope. And then goes back to pummeling Undertaker. But Taker to punch back, but with much less strength behind them now. Undertaker manages to get Kane up for the Tombstone. However, Kane reverses it and Tombstones Taker right in the mat. Kane holds his hands down and Undertaker somehow kicks out after that. Kane stands Undertaker back up and Undertaker must be putting all the strength he has left into these punches. He finally knocks Kane off his feet with a clothesline. Undertaker goosles Kane and drops him with a Chokeslam. Then slashes his throat. Kane sits up, but gets picked up and dropped with a Tombstone. 1, 2. Kickout! The first time anyone's kicked out after a Tombstone. Jim Ross stutters calling it, he's so shocked. Kane sits up and Taker picks him back up to hit another Tombstone. 1, 2… another kick out from Kane. Undertaker goes to the top rope and hits a flying clothesline. Kane sits up again. Undertaker picks him back up and hits one more Tombstone. 1, 2, 3. But barely a three. Kane kicks out a millisecond after the three count. But either way, Undertaker adds on to his WrestleMania streak. after the match, Paul Bearer grabs a steel chair and throws it inside. Undertaker punches Paul's lights out and falls back down out of exhaustion. Kane gets back up and Tombstones Undertaker on the chair and then leaves. Undertaker sits up once Kane and Paul get out of there. Even though the record shows a win for Undertaker, it feels more like he survived. I think this is an underrated gem in the Undertaker's Mania match record.
My Rating: ****
Main Event: WWF Championship Match with Mike Tyson as Special Enforcer - Steve Austin def. Shawn Michaels (c) (20:02)
But now its time for the main event. This match was great but sometimes I wonder what could've been if Austin had a healthy neck and Shawn had a healthy back. I have no idea how Shawn got through this match. I don't even wanna bend down to tie my shoe with a bad back, let alone wrestle a 20 minute match. I don't know if I'm alone in this, but the inclusion of Mike Tyson isn't interesting to me at all. Like, you have Stone Cold and you have Shawn Michaels. What more could you need? This is also where we got the famous meme template of Shawn smiling and then looking sad when he gets flipped off. This felt like a big match, as if it was going to be the culmination of Stone Cold’s rise to the top. Shawn starts the match with a couple of jabs, and Austin starts to chase Shawn out, and back inside the ropes. Austin lets everyone get a look at Shawn's full moon and backdrops HBK over the ropes onto HHH. Austin goes out after Shawn, but Triple H jumps Austin from behind and throws him into the barricade. Then referee makes the decision to send HHH and Chyna to the back instead of disqualifying Shawn. Austin beats up HHH up the aisle and gets attacked by Shawn from behind. Austin and HBK make it back to the ring, where Austin begins to hammer into Shawn. Austin whips Shawn into the corner and Shawn attempts his flip into the corner, but instead, he just hits his back against the turnbuckles. Austin tries for the Stunner, but HBK throws him off and goes out to the apron, but Austin catches him and punches him off the apron, face first into the announce table. Shawn is back into the barricade and backdrops Austin over. And as Austin is climbing back over, Shawn hits him in the head with a ring bell. Shawn throws Austin back in the ring and starts to wear him down, but unfortunately, he starts to show signs that he's really hurt. You can see it on his face, his back is in agony. Shawn flips off the crowd and Austin tackles him to the mat and lays into him. Austin then throws Shawn out of the ring, but Shawn sweeps his legs out and drags him over to the ring post where Shawn slams his knees into. Shawn works over Austin's knees. He baseball slides Austin, who goes over the announce table. Its Tyson who throws Austin back inside. Austin takes offense to that and jaw jacks him from the inside. Shawn chop blocks Austin from behind and locks him in the Figure 4. Austin escapes by rolling over. Austin gets back up and starts firing off shots on Shawn. Austin catapults Shawn into the top turnbuckle and rolls him up from behind for a 2 count. Shawn manages to put a sleeper on Austin and the referee thinks the best position to see Austin is from behind them obviously. Because it leads Austin backing Shawn up into the corner where the referee gets squished behind them. Austin escapes and retreats to the opposite corner. Shawn takes a run at him and Austin throws him into the top turnbuckle. Austin starts to pummel Shawn until Shawn hits a weak flying forearm off the ropes. His back is in shambles. Shawn goes to the top rope, drops an elbow, he signals for the end. Shawn tunes up the band, tries for Sweet Chin Music, but Austin ducks it, tries for a Stunner. Shawn throws him off to the ropes, goes for the Superkick again. Austin catches his foot, spins him around and hits a Stunner finally and hooks the leg. Tyson slides in and counts a quick three. And as Jim Ross would say “The Austin Era has begun!”
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.74
My Rating: 8.5/10
This feels officially like the Attitude Era has begun. I would say there's only a few things about this event that I didn't like. That messy opener. The way they make Luna look awful, and the weird booking for the IC Title Match. Everything else though is enjoyable and we ended the night with 2 great matches and the crowning of one of the guys on wrestling's mount rushmore. There's better shows I've watched. But this is the best WrestleMania so far.
