I'm pretty sure the plan was Shawn vs Bret 2 which kinda makes me wonder what their plan with Austin was at WrestleMania.
Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best
- Thread starter Jarf
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Really? Thats... weird, I figured the plan would've been Owen vs Davey Boy. And listen, no disrespect to Davey Boy, but with how hot Austin was at the time, it would've been like their idea to have Bryan fight Sheamus at Mania 30
Elimination Chamber 2020
Match 1: Daniel Bryan def. Drew Gulak (14:20)
Starting the night off with a great wrestling match. Obviously, I don’t think anyone expected Gulak to win but maybe not put up the fight he did. The story coming into the match is that Gulak claims that Bryan has many weaknesses that he knows how to exploit. And he kind of does that. This was just a very good wrestling match pretty much. Kinda slow paced. Bryan has to leave the ring to reevaluate his opponent. Which was a nice touch. Gulak seems to have Bryan scouted as he counters him several times. Gulak hits a back suplex where Bryan lands on the back of his head, and it seems like Gulak is going after Bryan’s neck. Bryan manages to hit a dragon suplex that Gulak kicks out of. Gulak reverses and goes behind Bryan, hitting him with a German suplex which Bryan kicks out of. Gulak hits another one, this time releases Bryan, who lands disgustingly head first on the mat! Bryan has to roll outside and nearly gets counted out. But he makes it back inside. The fight continues and Bryan finds himself seated on the top rope, where Gulak hits an inverted suplex from! Gulak rolls over Bryan, keeping hold of Bryan’s head to apply the Dragon Sleeper. He elbows Bryan in the chest and falls back with Bryan. But Bryan continues to roll to escape Gulak’s grasp, before he grabs Gulak’s arm and rolls into a Lebell Lock. He elbows Gulak in the head to weaken him so he can actually apply it. Gulak passes out in the Lebell Lock and Bryan is declared the winner.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: United States Championship Match - Andrade (c) def. Humberto Carrillo (12:20)
Andrade starts the match with a hard back elbow that gets a two count. Humberto shows off his agility throughout this match. Andrade gets the upper hand and starts wearing Humberto down. But Andrade looks like he’s about to go for a monkey flip from the ropes, but Humberto falls backward and dumps Andrade over the ropes. And here is when Humberto starts to come back with kicks. It’s pretty even up until the end from here. Both men wind up on the top rope, Andrade was seated until he stood up, and Humberto stood up on the ropes as well. Humberto leaps up to hit a hurricanrana to Andrade from the top! Andrade hip tosses Humberto into the corner and hits the double knees. Zelina Vega takes apart the protective covering on the concrete outside and Andrade looks like he’s going for a piledriver, but Humberto backdrops him onto the floor. Humberto goes back in the ring and dives over the ropes to the outside! Humberto tries for a victory roll, but Andrade rolls back and pins Humberto to the mat to retain the title.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 3: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match - The Miz & John Morrison (c) def. The Usos, The New Day, Heavy Machinery, Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode & Lucha House Party (32:55)
God damn, I loved this! The first 10 minutes isn’t so inspiring but they really amp things up after that. The match begins with The Usos and New Day. Always a good match so thats a great start. First team out of their pod is Lucha House Party, represented by Gran Metalik and Lince Dorado. They show off a bit. Lince goes up to the top of their pod after being chased up by Big E. Kofi follows him up, but then Metalik goes up too. They lion king Kofi for Lince to dive on The Usos and Metalik to dive on the New Day. And with everybody down, in comes Miz and Morrison next to pick the bones. Not much to note here other than a sweet hurricanrana with Metalik leaping off the pod to Morrison who was standing on the top rope! Next team is Heavy Machinery who just run through everybody else in the match. They bulldoze everyone (appropriately considering their name) Lince Dorado scales the chamber wall and the ceiling! Flipping off the ceiling to a sea of people below! But he failed to take out Heavy Machinery and they eliminate the luchadors by pinning Gran Metalik a moment later. You got your spot, now get out. And then they await the release of Ziggler and Roode. Dolph escapes Otis by climbing the wall and standing on a pod, but Tucker isn’t above climbing the wall, he bashes Ziggler’s head off the wall and then throws Ziggler into the arms of Otis, before he dives off into the crowd below him! Otis disposes of Roode before he turns back to Ziggler, and runs at him. Ziggler dodges and Otis barrels through the pod door out the back of the chamber! Tucker, concerned for his partner and more pissed than anything tries to take on Dolph and Roode by himself, but he eats a superkick and a DDT to eliminate Heavy Machinery. Tucker helps carry Otis out. That’s why it broke my heart to see Tucker betray on Otis for legitimately no reason. They were boys! Kofi hits Dolph with Trouble in Paradise, Big E. hits Roode with the Big Ending and The Usos each hit a splash on them from the top of the pods to eliminate them next. The Usos and New Day work together to stomp out Miz and Morrison, literally. Jey tells them all to stop for a moment… and then says “Okay, again” and they stomp them out again! Even back then, Jey had more personality than Jimmy. Usos and New Day turn on each other and Kofi basically eliminates himself by diving off the top of the pod, because that worked out for him last year. Jimmy moves out of the way and Kofi misses. Miz and Morrison cover Kofi together and New Day are out. That leaves us with The Usos and Miz and Morrison to give us an excellent final stretch. Usos hit Miz and Morrison with a double superkick off them springboarding. (Yes, Miz did a springboard) Miz hits Jimmy with a Skull Crushing Finale and sits on him while hooking the leg to pin him. Jimmy kicks out and from there, Miz puts Jimmy in the Figure 4, and while Jimmy is locked in, Morrison hits the Starship Pain. He’s about to pin Jimmy, but Jey comes from behind to roll up Morrison! Morrison kicks out. And the way they beat Usos is clever. Miz slides through Jey’s legs from the outside and puts Jey in a powerbomb pin position, while Morrison flips inside, holding Jey’s legs in a sunset flip pin. I forgot how good this match was. Holy crap!
My Rating: ****
Match 4: No Disqualification Match - Aleister Black def. AJ Styles (23:15)
A match I was really looking forward to at the time, but unfortunately, it just falls short. Gallows and Anderson are at ringside with AJ, but surprisingly don’t do anything until the end. The match is decent but its so slow. The counters and spots are just enough to carry it, but it doesn’t save it by much. AJ attacks Black’s legs and pretty early in the match puts him in a Calf Crusher. Black uses a kendo stick to escape. And he also sets up a table outside. One thing I will say that they did perfectly was selling. They made it seem like everything they did, even though it wasn’t much, look like it hurt. At some point in the match, Aleister bounces off the middle rope in the ring to moonsault AJ, but Styles catches him perfectly in a Tombstone position! But Black rolls through and escapes before he kicks Styles into a chair set up in the corner. Black hits a meteora through the table set up on the outside. And it’s not until Black sets AJ up for the Black Mass that Gallows and Anderson get in the ring and they start ganging up on Aleister. They hold Black in place for the Phenomenal Forearm, but the lights go out and when they come back on, Undertaker has Luke and Karl by the throats. AJ springboards and Taker turns around and catches Styles by the throat. He hits a chokeslam, the lights go out and Taker is gone again. Black gets up and waits for Styles to get up and turn around. Then Black drops Styles with an awesome Black Mass! Black wins.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 5: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - The Street Profits (c) def. Seth Rollins & Murphy (18:30)
I don’t know what it is, but I wasn’t into this match. I don’t think it was that good. It doesn’t help that the crowd was dead as hell. The Profits won the titles on Raw with help from Kevin Owens, so Seth has the Authors of Pain with him, and has them check ringside. To me, this just felt like a TV match. Nothing special. But it goes on for like 18 minutes which makes it worse honestly. Rollins and Murphy wear down Angelo, who makes the tag to Montez after a few minutes. But while the referee isn’t looking, AOP toss Montez into the barricade. The Viking Raiders come down to battle AOP to the back. The match continues for some time, with Seth and Murphy keeping Ford away from his partner. Montez eventually does make the tag though and the pace starts to pick up. Kevin Owens walks through the crowd to come to the ring eating a bag of popcorn. He distracts Seth long enough so Dawkins can push him into the barricade, the Profits catch Murphy as he dives over the ropes and throws him into the barricade before they finish him in the ring with a spinebuster and a frog splash. Profits retain. And as Seth berates Murphy who was laying outside, Owens comes in and gives Seth a stunner.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: Intercontinental Championship 3-on-1 Handicap Match - Sami Zayn, Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura def. Braun Strowman (c) (8:30)
This match got shit all over on Cagematch, but I don't know, I thought it was okay. I thought it showed how smart Sami Zayn was even though it made him look cowardly. This whole feud, Braun hasn't been able to lay a finger on Sami. And shockingly enough, that continues in this match. Cesaro and Shinsuke do all the work and Sami only gets in when Braun is down. Braun runs over Cesaro and Nakamura on the outside while he's chasing Sami. Cesaro and Shinsuke manage to save Zayn before Braun could get to him. Braun runs into the ring post, Shinsuke Kinshasas Braun's head into the post. Cesaro and Nakamura lift Braun up in a suplex, allowing Sami to kick Braun to the mat and pin him. And because it was Sami who made the cover, he becomes the Intercontinental Champion.
My Rating: **1/2
Main Event: Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contenders Elimination Chamber Match - Shayna Baszler def. Asuka, Natalya, Liv Morgan, Ruby Riott & Sarah Logan (21:00)
Ooooh this damn match… okay I'll start off with some pros here. One, Shayna looked like a beast. That's good. Two, Shayna brought some brutality back to the chamber, that's good. Three, Liv Morgan says "Oh fuck" just out of nowhere. That's hilarious. Everything else though is a con. But we'll get to that. Match starts off with Natalya and Ruby, they just grind each other into the cage. Sarah Logan comes out third and she gets to come off the pod so that's something. Shayna comes out fourth and now it's her match. She taps out Sarah and Ruby both in less than a minute. One of the things they kept talking about was the break up and fallout of the Riott Squad. Well that's made completely irrelevant by the fact Shayna eliminates Sarah and Ruby before Liv even gets out of her pod. And then she slams one of the empty pod doors into Natalya repeatedly before tapping her out. And then she has to just stand in the ring and wait for Asuka or Liv to get out of their pods which gets old very quickly. Then Liv gets out of her pod and Shayna rushes her. Liv gets a few shots in before Shayna kills her too. Right in front of Asuka, Shayna sits on the top turnbuckle and lifts Liv off the floor in a chokehold. Liv does tap out, she passes out and the referee tells Shayna to let go. So now Shayna has to stand around for another 4 minutes until Asuka gets out, what the hell. Asuka eventually does get out and gives Shayna a bigger fight than the rest of the competition, even getting Shayna in the Asuka Lock. But Shayna twists Asuka's wrist which was apparently injured. Asuka is able to escape the Kirifuda at first but Shayna inevitably slaps it back on and makes Asuka pass out. So Shayna wins as literally everyone expected. Now here's my beef with this match. I love that Shayna was made to look dominant, but if you're going to do that, have her come out last, not fourth so we don't have to watch her stand around and wait! Everyone knew Shayna was winning too! Nobody on the face of the earth thought Shayna was gonna lose. So the only reason to watch it at that point would be in hopes that it's good! It's made even worse by the fact that Shayna loses at WrestleMania pretty easily. How do you make her look like a beast here and then not only have her lose at Mania, but lose in 8 minutes?!
My Rating: *3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.26
My Rating: 7/10
Honestly, the show was going pretty well for the most part, it's just the incredibly underwhelming final stretch that brings it down. Opener, great match. US Title, pretty good. Tag Chamber, awesome. No DQ, solid. That last hour and a half though… killed it, and not in a good way.
Match 1: Daniel Bryan def. Drew Gulak (14:20)
Starting the night off with a great wrestling match. Obviously, I don’t think anyone expected Gulak to win but maybe not put up the fight he did. The story coming into the match is that Gulak claims that Bryan has many weaknesses that he knows how to exploit. And he kind of does that. This was just a very good wrestling match pretty much. Kinda slow paced. Bryan has to leave the ring to reevaluate his opponent. Which was a nice touch. Gulak seems to have Bryan scouted as he counters him several times. Gulak hits a back suplex where Bryan lands on the back of his head, and it seems like Gulak is going after Bryan’s neck. Bryan manages to hit a dragon suplex that Gulak kicks out of. Gulak reverses and goes behind Bryan, hitting him with a German suplex which Bryan kicks out of. Gulak hits another one, this time releases Bryan, who lands disgustingly head first on the mat! Bryan has to roll outside and nearly gets counted out. But he makes it back inside. The fight continues and Bryan finds himself seated on the top rope, where Gulak hits an inverted suplex from! Gulak rolls over Bryan, keeping hold of Bryan’s head to apply the Dragon Sleeper. He elbows Bryan in the chest and falls back with Bryan. But Bryan continues to roll to escape Gulak’s grasp, before he grabs Gulak’s arm and rolls into a Lebell Lock. He elbows Gulak in the head to weaken him so he can actually apply it. Gulak passes out in the Lebell Lock and Bryan is declared the winner.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: United States Championship Match - Andrade (c) def. Humberto Carrillo (12:20)
Andrade starts the match with a hard back elbow that gets a two count. Humberto shows off his agility throughout this match. Andrade gets the upper hand and starts wearing Humberto down. But Andrade looks like he’s about to go for a monkey flip from the ropes, but Humberto falls backward and dumps Andrade over the ropes. And here is when Humberto starts to come back with kicks. It’s pretty even up until the end from here. Both men wind up on the top rope, Andrade was seated until he stood up, and Humberto stood up on the ropes as well. Humberto leaps up to hit a hurricanrana to Andrade from the top! Andrade hip tosses Humberto into the corner and hits the double knees. Zelina Vega takes apart the protective covering on the concrete outside and Andrade looks like he’s going for a piledriver, but Humberto backdrops him onto the floor. Humberto goes back in the ring and dives over the ropes to the outside! Humberto tries for a victory roll, but Andrade rolls back and pins Humberto to the mat to retain the title.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 3: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match - The Miz & John Morrison (c) def. The Usos, The New Day, Heavy Machinery, Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode & Lucha House Party (32:55)
God damn, I loved this! The first 10 minutes isn’t so inspiring but they really amp things up after that. The match begins with The Usos and New Day. Always a good match so thats a great start. First team out of their pod is Lucha House Party, represented by Gran Metalik and Lince Dorado. They show off a bit. Lince goes up to the top of their pod after being chased up by Big E. Kofi follows him up, but then Metalik goes up too. They lion king Kofi for Lince to dive on The Usos and Metalik to dive on the New Day. And with everybody down, in comes Miz and Morrison next to pick the bones. Not much to note here other than a sweet hurricanrana with Metalik leaping off the pod to Morrison who was standing on the top rope! Next team is Heavy Machinery who just run through everybody else in the match. They bulldoze everyone (appropriately considering their name) Lince Dorado scales the chamber wall and the ceiling! Flipping off the ceiling to a sea of people below! But he failed to take out Heavy Machinery and they eliminate the luchadors by pinning Gran Metalik a moment later. You got your spot, now get out. And then they await the release of Ziggler and Roode. Dolph escapes Otis by climbing the wall and standing on a pod, but Tucker isn’t above climbing the wall, he bashes Ziggler’s head off the wall and then throws Ziggler into the arms of Otis, before he dives off into the crowd below him! Otis disposes of Roode before he turns back to Ziggler, and runs at him. Ziggler dodges and Otis barrels through the pod door out the back of the chamber! Tucker, concerned for his partner and more pissed than anything tries to take on Dolph and Roode by himself, but he eats a superkick and a DDT to eliminate Heavy Machinery. Tucker helps carry Otis out. That’s why it broke my heart to see Tucker betray on Otis for legitimately no reason. They were boys! Kofi hits Dolph with Trouble in Paradise, Big E. hits Roode with the Big Ending and The Usos each hit a splash on them from the top of the pods to eliminate them next. The Usos and New Day work together to stomp out Miz and Morrison, literally. Jey tells them all to stop for a moment… and then says “Okay, again” and they stomp them out again! Even back then, Jey had more personality than Jimmy. Usos and New Day turn on each other and Kofi basically eliminates himself by diving off the top of the pod, because that worked out for him last year. Jimmy moves out of the way and Kofi misses. Miz and Morrison cover Kofi together and New Day are out. That leaves us with The Usos and Miz and Morrison to give us an excellent final stretch. Usos hit Miz and Morrison with a double superkick off them springboarding. (Yes, Miz did a springboard) Miz hits Jimmy with a Skull Crushing Finale and sits on him while hooking the leg to pin him. Jimmy kicks out and from there, Miz puts Jimmy in the Figure 4, and while Jimmy is locked in, Morrison hits the Starship Pain. He’s about to pin Jimmy, but Jey comes from behind to roll up Morrison! Morrison kicks out. And the way they beat Usos is clever. Miz slides through Jey’s legs from the outside and puts Jey in a powerbomb pin position, while Morrison flips inside, holding Jey’s legs in a sunset flip pin. I forgot how good this match was. Holy crap!
My Rating: ****
Match 4: No Disqualification Match - Aleister Black def. AJ Styles (23:15)
A match I was really looking forward to at the time, but unfortunately, it just falls short. Gallows and Anderson are at ringside with AJ, but surprisingly don’t do anything until the end. The match is decent but its so slow. The counters and spots are just enough to carry it, but it doesn’t save it by much. AJ attacks Black’s legs and pretty early in the match puts him in a Calf Crusher. Black uses a kendo stick to escape. And he also sets up a table outside. One thing I will say that they did perfectly was selling. They made it seem like everything they did, even though it wasn’t much, look like it hurt. At some point in the match, Aleister bounces off the middle rope in the ring to moonsault AJ, but Styles catches him perfectly in a Tombstone position! But Black rolls through and escapes before he kicks Styles into a chair set up in the corner. Black hits a meteora through the table set up on the outside. And it’s not until Black sets AJ up for the Black Mass that Gallows and Anderson get in the ring and they start ganging up on Aleister. They hold Black in place for the Phenomenal Forearm, but the lights go out and when they come back on, Undertaker has Luke and Karl by the throats. AJ springboards and Taker turns around and catches Styles by the throat. He hits a chokeslam, the lights go out and Taker is gone again. Black gets up and waits for Styles to get up and turn around. Then Black drops Styles with an awesome Black Mass! Black wins.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 5: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - The Street Profits (c) def. Seth Rollins & Murphy (18:30)
I don’t know what it is, but I wasn’t into this match. I don’t think it was that good. It doesn’t help that the crowd was dead as hell. The Profits won the titles on Raw with help from Kevin Owens, so Seth has the Authors of Pain with him, and has them check ringside. To me, this just felt like a TV match. Nothing special. But it goes on for like 18 minutes which makes it worse honestly. Rollins and Murphy wear down Angelo, who makes the tag to Montez after a few minutes. But while the referee isn’t looking, AOP toss Montez into the barricade. The Viking Raiders come down to battle AOP to the back. The match continues for some time, with Seth and Murphy keeping Ford away from his partner. Montez eventually does make the tag though and the pace starts to pick up. Kevin Owens walks through the crowd to come to the ring eating a bag of popcorn. He distracts Seth long enough so Dawkins can push him into the barricade, the Profits catch Murphy as he dives over the ropes and throws him into the barricade before they finish him in the ring with a spinebuster and a frog splash. Profits retain. And as Seth berates Murphy who was laying outside, Owens comes in and gives Seth a stunner.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: Intercontinental Championship 3-on-1 Handicap Match - Sami Zayn, Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura def. Braun Strowman (c) (8:30)
This match got shit all over on Cagematch, but I don't know, I thought it was okay. I thought it showed how smart Sami Zayn was even though it made him look cowardly. This whole feud, Braun hasn't been able to lay a finger on Sami. And shockingly enough, that continues in this match. Cesaro and Shinsuke do all the work and Sami only gets in when Braun is down. Braun runs over Cesaro and Nakamura on the outside while he's chasing Sami. Cesaro and Shinsuke manage to save Zayn before Braun could get to him. Braun runs into the ring post, Shinsuke Kinshasas Braun's head into the post. Cesaro and Nakamura lift Braun up in a suplex, allowing Sami to kick Braun to the mat and pin him. And because it was Sami who made the cover, he becomes the Intercontinental Champion.
My Rating: **1/2
Main Event: Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contenders Elimination Chamber Match - Shayna Baszler def. Asuka, Natalya, Liv Morgan, Ruby Riott & Sarah Logan (21:00)
Ooooh this damn match… okay I'll start off with some pros here. One, Shayna looked like a beast. That's good. Two, Shayna brought some brutality back to the chamber, that's good. Three, Liv Morgan says "Oh fuck" just out of nowhere. That's hilarious. Everything else though is a con. But we'll get to that. Match starts off with Natalya and Ruby, they just grind each other into the cage. Sarah Logan comes out third and she gets to come off the pod so that's something. Shayna comes out fourth and now it's her match. She taps out Sarah and Ruby both in less than a minute. One of the things they kept talking about was the break up and fallout of the Riott Squad. Well that's made completely irrelevant by the fact Shayna eliminates Sarah and Ruby before Liv even gets out of her pod. And then she slams one of the empty pod doors into Natalya repeatedly before tapping her out. And then she has to just stand in the ring and wait for Asuka or Liv to get out of their pods which gets old very quickly. Then Liv gets out of her pod and Shayna rushes her. Liv gets a few shots in before Shayna kills her too. Right in front of Asuka, Shayna sits on the top turnbuckle and lifts Liv off the floor in a chokehold. Liv does tap out, she passes out and the referee tells Shayna to let go. So now Shayna has to stand around for another 4 minutes until Asuka gets out, what the hell. Asuka eventually does get out and gives Shayna a bigger fight than the rest of the competition, even getting Shayna in the Asuka Lock. But Shayna twists Asuka's wrist which was apparently injured. Asuka is able to escape the Kirifuda at first but Shayna inevitably slaps it back on and makes Asuka pass out. So Shayna wins as literally everyone expected. Now here's my beef with this match. I love that Shayna was made to look dominant, but if you're going to do that, have her come out last, not fourth so we don't have to watch her stand around and wait! Everyone knew Shayna was winning too! Nobody on the face of the earth thought Shayna was gonna lose. So the only reason to watch it at that point would be in hopes that it's good! It's made even worse by the fact that Shayna loses at WrestleMania pretty easily. How do you make her look like a beast here and then not only have her lose at Mania, but lose in 8 minutes?!
My Rating: *3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.26
My Rating: 7/10
Honestly, the show was going pretty well for the most part, it's just the incredibly underwhelming final stretch that brings it down. Opener, great match. US Title, pretty good. Tag Chamber, awesome. No DQ, solid. That last hour and a half though… killed it, and not in a good way.
Hell in a Cell 2014
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship 2 Out of 3 Falls Match - Dolph Ziggler (c) def. Cesaro (12:25)
You can’t go wrong with an opener like this, especially at this time, both of these guys were putting out bangers every week. This is what an opening match should be. A quick but exciting match that gets the crowd hot and ready for the night. The first fall is only a few minutes, Cesaro gives Dolph the big swing, and goes for a cover, but Dolph quickly rolls him up to win the first fall. The second fall is where all the action happens. Cesaro has a firm upper hand as he takes the attack to Ziggler pretty much right after the first fall. Dolph manages to hurt Cesaro’s arm, but it doesn’t do much for him in the long run because Cesaro was such a beast and could Not only does he power Ziggler around. Dolph gets a front headlock, his legs wrapped around Cesaro’s waist (its getting hot fellas). But Cesaro, which Ziggler wrapped around him, starts climbing the ropes and picks Ziggler up for a suplex from the second rope. This man is a cyborg! Ziggler manages to hit the Fameasser, but Cesaro kicks out. Cesaro tosses Dolph into the air and hits an uppercut, but Dolph kicks out. Dolph hits an armbreaker to escape the Neutralizer, a superkick and then a Zig Zag to win the match 2 straight falls, which was the only thing I didn’t like, but it’s not a huge deal.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 2: Loser must be the winner’s assistant for 30 days - Nikki Bella def. Brie Bella (6:25)
As Nikki Bella is making her entrance, Michael Cole says “This is the match that just had to happen.” And to that I ask, why? I will say, it’s not as bad as I expected it to be, but it’s still not good. It felt as if they were trying to tell a 20 minute story in 6 minutes. Which isn’t impossible but extremely hard. I think Brie nearly broke her sister’s shin with a suicide dive. Nikki hits the rack attack, but Brie kicks out. Brie puts Nikki in the Yes Lock and Nikki reaches the ropes. Nikki hits a forearm, followed by another Rack Attack to win the match. So Brie is Nikki’s assistant for 30 days. But because they probably realized nobody gave a fuck, that 30 days turned into 11 months, and they made up.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 3: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - Goldust & Stardust (c) def. The Usos (10:20)
At the very least, I would’ve expected this to be okay, but no, it wasn’t even that. This was just boring. Not very interesting. The pace begins to pick up after the hot tag, but not by much. The Dust Bunnies as my dad called them at this time, worked over Jimmy’s knee. Jimmy manages to throw Goldust over the ropes and make the tag to Jey, who comes in and dives onto Goldust outside and then Stardust at the entrance way, and he starts building back the momentum for his team. The Usos hit a double superplex on both Dust Bunnies from the top rope and Jey nearly wins it with a splash to Goldust. Jey goes for a suplex, but Stardust kicks Jey’s knee out, allowing Goldust to counter and hit a Final Cut to retain.
My Rating: **
Match 4: WWE World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contenders Hell in a Cell Match - John Cena def. Randy Orton (26:25)
I remember at the time being certain that Orton would be winning this. I thought there was no way they’d book Cena against Brock again so soon and they would instead give us the dream Brock vs Orton match that we wanted. Stupid naive teenage Jarf. I also remember feeling the same way that everyone else felt which was “This match again???” Truthfully, this match isn’t horrible. But its definitely one of their more uninteresting matches considering they had done this a thousand times and it goes sooooo, unnecessarily long. This match did not need to be 26 minutes. The first 10 or so minutes are very skippable, but I’d say the first big part of the match is when Cena is doing his 2K comeback, but as he goes for a shoulder tackle, Orton catches him in an RKO which I’m not sure they had done before, I could be wrong. Cena kicks out and Orton throws Cena through a table that he had set up in the corner. Cena avoids a punt kick and puts Orton in the STF, Orton claws over to the ropes and slides under them. Cena however, picks up the steps in the ring and throws them outside, trying to hit Orton who was leaning against the cell. Orton dodges thankfully though. And now they just start finisher spamming. Cena hits an AA, Orton kicks out. Cena picks him up for another and Orton counters it into an RKO. Cena kicks out. Cena hits another AA, Orton kicks out again. Cena sets up a table near the corner and goes to the top rope, seemingly to hit his legdrop through the table. Orton goes up with him, but ends up getting caught in an AA position and slammed through the table. Cena wins LOL.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 5: United States Championship Match - Sheamus (c) def. The Miz (8:30)
I feel like this match solely exists so Mizdow can do Mizdow things, and I am all for it honestly. I was paying attention to him the whole match if I’m being honest, so some of the things Miz and Sheamus did are kinda lost from my brain. But I remember being it okay. Of course, Sheamus is in control for almost the whole time because Mizdow has to pretend to be hurt. Mizdow actually branches off from his job to distract Sheamus. Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale, but Sheamus kicks out. Miz goes up top and comes off to get hit with a Brogue Kick, and Sheamus retains.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: Rusev def. Big Show (8:00)
We are nearly at the peak of Rusev’s monster push with him facing his biggest, literal and figurative, challenge yet. Big Show tries to outmuscle Rusev right away, but Rusev early in the match, kicks Big Show’s knee out and starts working him down that way. Rusev manages to hit a suplex on Big Show, and it looks almost effortless. I’ll give Big Show this, he really made Rusev look great here. Big Show puts Rusev in the Haas of Pain?! I wasn’t expecting that. Mark Henry comes down for some reason, and he eats a Machka Kick. Big Show hits a Chokeslam, but Rusev kicks out of it. Rusev hits Big Show with 3 kicks and puts him in the Accolade. Big Show taps out and Rusev is victorious once again. Solid match actually.
My Rating: ***
Match 7: Divas Championship Match - AJ Lee (c) def. Paige (6:55)
Paige comes out with Alicia Fox, her new bestie. She’s going to fuck up royally at the end. I always thought these two worked well with each other. I thought they played off each other really well. Unfortunately, I think people were tired of this feud at this point and were no longer interested. There was a bit where AJ leapt into Paige, wrapping herself around her, which she clearly didn't learn from Dolph earlier cause Paige pushes her off while holding onto her waist and swings her into the barricade. But at the end, it looks like Paige is about to suplex AJ over the barricade from standing on it, but AJ sweeps Paige’s legs, and Paige lands back first along the barricade. Alicia Fox runs over to help Paige up and tosses her back in, but before she’s even recovered, so AJ locks Paige in the Black Widow, and forces her to tap out to retain her title.
My Rating: **1/2
Main Event: Hell in a Cell Match - Seth Rollins def. Dean Ambrose (14:00)
I’ve gone on record to say I’m not a fan of the Hell in a Cell PPV, because I think it really took away what was so special about the match itself. But this match, this feud felt like it belonged inside the Cell. Now, not that this match wasn’t good, but it was a little… underwhelming. These two waged war with each other over the summer, and if it wasn’t for the booking decisions made during this time, I think this feud would be looked back on more often. I wasn’t expecting any blood (although there probably should’ve been), but I was expecting a war in the cell. This felt like a battle to survive for Seth Rollins, which was fine, but they really deserved the time that Cena and Orton got earlier. The battle begins before the match does. Dean goes to the top of the cell, and Seth sends up Noble and Mercury up. After Dean beats the shit out of them, Seth tries to jump him. Both men wind up climbing down announcers side and falling off through two separate tables outside. Now, they didn’t fall off the top, but I estimate they were about 15 feet high, still not an ideal height to fall from. Paramedics come out and try to stretcher them both back. But Dean says “ah hell nah!” And gets off to grab Seth. Dean drags Seth back to the cell and tells the referee outside to lock it. Dean grabs a chair and yells at Seth “Now you’re gonna pay for it! You stabbed me in the back you son of a bitch!” Before he proceeds to lay into Seth with a chair. And that’s pretty much Seth’s fight this whole match, a fight to survive as Dean thinks of whatever way he can to punish Seth for his sins. Seth sets up a table outside, held up by the ring apron and the legs standing outside. Dean hangs Seth on the top rope, the latter falling back on the table so Dean can go up to drop an elbow through Seth. Seth finally catches a break when Kane sprays Dean with a fire extinguisher from the outside of the cell. And then Seth picks Dean up in a powerbomb position and throws him through a table Dean set up against the wall. Seth hits a Curb Stomp on Dean in the ring and then lays into him with a chair like he did when he turned on the Shield. Seth tries to Stomp Dean into the MITB briefcase, but Dean gets up and hits Seth with it. He goes back outside and grabs 2 cinder blocks, because I don’t know if you recall, but Seth had Curb Stomped Dean’s head into cinder blocks 2 months before. And now Dean prepares to do the same to Seth. From a story perspective this match was great… But now this is what brings the match back down. The lights go out, some voice starts speaking in tongues, and there is now a lantern in the ring. The only thing lighting up the arena. And then Bray Wyatt attacks Dean. Now… As you all know, I love Bray Wyatt. But this is bullshit. Apart from Daniel Bryan in the build up to WrestleMania, Seth and Dean’s feud had been the hottest thing going all year. This was one of the last times I tuned in every week. I was invested. I watched every bit of this feud. And this is how they end it? Come on man. This feud was nearly perfect, all you had to do was stick the landing… And they couldn’t do it. Of course they couldn’t. Bray hits Sister Abigail, Seth crawls over to cover Dean, never taking his eyes off Bray. Which, seeing Seth and Bray inside a Cell together was giving me war flashbacks. On the bright side, my two favorite guys in the company were about the feud, but this wasn’t how you set it up.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.26
My Rating: 5.5/10
Like a lot of shows I’ve seen so far, this falls in the middle for me. This was just 7 minutes short of 3 hours, and I felt every bit of it. This show is so damn boring for the most part. The opener was the only thing to go off without a hitch. The two Cell Matches were both good in their own way, but the first one went too long and the second had a stupid finish. The rest of this show is such filter. And not just that, but the main event (aka the only match people cared about on this show) just underdelivered so hard.
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship 2 Out of 3 Falls Match - Dolph Ziggler (c) def. Cesaro (12:25)
You can’t go wrong with an opener like this, especially at this time, both of these guys were putting out bangers every week. This is what an opening match should be. A quick but exciting match that gets the crowd hot and ready for the night. The first fall is only a few minutes, Cesaro gives Dolph the big swing, and goes for a cover, but Dolph quickly rolls him up to win the first fall. The second fall is where all the action happens. Cesaro has a firm upper hand as he takes the attack to Ziggler pretty much right after the first fall. Dolph manages to hurt Cesaro’s arm, but it doesn’t do much for him in the long run because Cesaro was such a beast and could Not only does he power Ziggler around. Dolph gets a front headlock, his legs wrapped around Cesaro’s waist (its getting hot fellas). But Cesaro, which Ziggler wrapped around him, starts climbing the ropes and picks Ziggler up for a suplex from the second rope. This man is a cyborg! Ziggler manages to hit the Fameasser, but Cesaro kicks out. Cesaro tosses Dolph into the air and hits an uppercut, but Dolph kicks out. Dolph hits an armbreaker to escape the Neutralizer, a superkick and then a Zig Zag to win the match 2 straight falls, which was the only thing I didn’t like, but it’s not a huge deal.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 2: Loser must be the winner’s assistant for 30 days - Nikki Bella def. Brie Bella (6:25)
As Nikki Bella is making her entrance, Michael Cole says “This is the match that just had to happen.” And to that I ask, why? I will say, it’s not as bad as I expected it to be, but it’s still not good. It felt as if they were trying to tell a 20 minute story in 6 minutes. Which isn’t impossible but extremely hard. I think Brie nearly broke her sister’s shin with a suicide dive. Nikki hits the rack attack, but Brie kicks out. Brie puts Nikki in the Yes Lock and Nikki reaches the ropes. Nikki hits a forearm, followed by another Rack Attack to win the match. So Brie is Nikki’s assistant for 30 days. But because they probably realized nobody gave a fuck, that 30 days turned into 11 months, and they made up.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 3: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - Goldust & Stardust (c) def. The Usos (10:20)
At the very least, I would’ve expected this to be okay, but no, it wasn’t even that. This was just boring. Not very interesting. The pace begins to pick up after the hot tag, but not by much. The Dust Bunnies as my dad called them at this time, worked over Jimmy’s knee. Jimmy manages to throw Goldust over the ropes and make the tag to Jey, who comes in and dives onto Goldust outside and then Stardust at the entrance way, and he starts building back the momentum for his team. The Usos hit a double superplex on both Dust Bunnies from the top rope and Jey nearly wins it with a splash to Goldust. Jey goes for a suplex, but Stardust kicks Jey’s knee out, allowing Goldust to counter and hit a Final Cut to retain.
My Rating: **
Match 4: WWE World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contenders Hell in a Cell Match - John Cena def. Randy Orton (26:25)
I remember at the time being certain that Orton would be winning this. I thought there was no way they’d book Cena against Brock again so soon and they would instead give us the dream Brock vs Orton match that we wanted. Stupid naive teenage Jarf. I also remember feeling the same way that everyone else felt which was “This match again???” Truthfully, this match isn’t horrible. But its definitely one of their more uninteresting matches considering they had done this a thousand times and it goes sooooo, unnecessarily long. This match did not need to be 26 minutes. The first 10 or so minutes are very skippable, but I’d say the first big part of the match is when Cena is doing his 2K comeback, but as he goes for a shoulder tackle, Orton catches him in an RKO which I’m not sure they had done before, I could be wrong. Cena kicks out and Orton throws Cena through a table that he had set up in the corner. Cena avoids a punt kick and puts Orton in the STF, Orton claws over to the ropes and slides under them. Cena however, picks up the steps in the ring and throws them outside, trying to hit Orton who was leaning against the cell. Orton dodges thankfully though. And now they just start finisher spamming. Cena hits an AA, Orton kicks out. Cena picks him up for another and Orton counters it into an RKO. Cena kicks out. Cena hits another AA, Orton kicks out again. Cena sets up a table near the corner and goes to the top rope, seemingly to hit his legdrop through the table. Orton goes up with him, but ends up getting caught in an AA position and slammed through the table. Cena wins LOL.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 5: United States Championship Match - Sheamus (c) def. The Miz (8:30)
I feel like this match solely exists so Mizdow can do Mizdow things, and I am all for it honestly. I was paying attention to him the whole match if I’m being honest, so some of the things Miz and Sheamus did are kinda lost from my brain. But I remember being it okay. Of course, Sheamus is in control for almost the whole time because Mizdow has to pretend to be hurt. Mizdow actually branches off from his job to distract Sheamus. Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale, but Sheamus kicks out. Miz goes up top and comes off to get hit with a Brogue Kick, and Sheamus retains.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: Rusev def. Big Show (8:00)
We are nearly at the peak of Rusev’s monster push with him facing his biggest, literal and figurative, challenge yet. Big Show tries to outmuscle Rusev right away, but Rusev early in the match, kicks Big Show’s knee out and starts working him down that way. Rusev manages to hit a suplex on Big Show, and it looks almost effortless. I’ll give Big Show this, he really made Rusev look great here. Big Show puts Rusev in the Haas of Pain?! I wasn’t expecting that. Mark Henry comes down for some reason, and he eats a Machka Kick. Big Show hits a Chokeslam, but Rusev kicks out of it. Rusev hits Big Show with 3 kicks and puts him in the Accolade. Big Show taps out and Rusev is victorious once again. Solid match actually.
My Rating: ***
Match 7: Divas Championship Match - AJ Lee (c) def. Paige (6:55)
Paige comes out with Alicia Fox, her new bestie. She’s going to fuck up royally at the end. I always thought these two worked well with each other. I thought they played off each other really well. Unfortunately, I think people were tired of this feud at this point and were no longer interested. There was a bit where AJ leapt into Paige, wrapping herself around her, which she clearly didn't learn from Dolph earlier cause Paige pushes her off while holding onto her waist and swings her into the barricade. But at the end, it looks like Paige is about to suplex AJ over the barricade from standing on it, but AJ sweeps Paige’s legs, and Paige lands back first along the barricade. Alicia Fox runs over to help Paige up and tosses her back in, but before she’s even recovered, so AJ locks Paige in the Black Widow, and forces her to tap out to retain her title.
My Rating: **1/2
Main Event: Hell in a Cell Match - Seth Rollins def. Dean Ambrose (14:00)
I’ve gone on record to say I’m not a fan of the Hell in a Cell PPV, because I think it really took away what was so special about the match itself. But this match, this feud felt like it belonged inside the Cell. Now, not that this match wasn’t good, but it was a little… underwhelming. These two waged war with each other over the summer, and if it wasn’t for the booking decisions made during this time, I think this feud would be looked back on more often. I wasn’t expecting any blood (although there probably should’ve been), but I was expecting a war in the cell. This felt like a battle to survive for Seth Rollins, which was fine, but they really deserved the time that Cena and Orton got earlier. The battle begins before the match does. Dean goes to the top of the cell, and Seth sends up Noble and Mercury up. After Dean beats the shit out of them, Seth tries to jump him. Both men wind up climbing down announcers side and falling off through two separate tables outside. Now, they didn’t fall off the top, but I estimate they were about 15 feet high, still not an ideal height to fall from. Paramedics come out and try to stretcher them both back. But Dean says “ah hell nah!” And gets off to grab Seth. Dean drags Seth back to the cell and tells the referee outside to lock it. Dean grabs a chair and yells at Seth “Now you’re gonna pay for it! You stabbed me in the back you son of a bitch!” Before he proceeds to lay into Seth with a chair. And that’s pretty much Seth’s fight this whole match, a fight to survive as Dean thinks of whatever way he can to punish Seth for his sins. Seth sets up a table outside, held up by the ring apron and the legs standing outside. Dean hangs Seth on the top rope, the latter falling back on the table so Dean can go up to drop an elbow through Seth. Seth finally catches a break when Kane sprays Dean with a fire extinguisher from the outside of the cell. And then Seth picks Dean up in a powerbomb position and throws him through a table Dean set up against the wall. Seth hits a Curb Stomp on Dean in the ring and then lays into him with a chair like he did when he turned on the Shield. Seth tries to Stomp Dean into the MITB briefcase, but Dean gets up and hits Seth with it. He goes back outside and grabs 2 cinder blocks, because I don’t know if you recall, but Seth had Curb Stomped Dean’s head into cinder blocks 2 months before. And now Dean prepares to do the same to Seth. From a story perspective this match was great… But now this is what brings the match back down. The lights go out, some voice starts speaking in tongues, and there is now a lantern in the ring. The only thing lighting up the arena. And then Bray Wyatt attacks Dean. Now… As you all know, I love Bray Wyatt. But this is bullshit. Apart from Daniel Bryan in the build up to WrestleMania, Seth and Dean’s feud had been the hottest thing going all year. This was one of the last times I tuned in every week. I was invested. I watched every bit of this feud. And this is how they end it? Come on man. This feud was nearly perfect, all you had to do was stick the landing… And they couldn’t do it. Of course they couldn’t. Bray hits Sister Abigail, Seth crawls over to cover Dean, never taking his eyes off Bray. Which, seeing Seth and Bray inside a Cell together was giving me war flashbacks. On the bright side, my two favorite guys in the company were about the feud, but this wasn’t how you set it up.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.26
My Rating: 5.5/10
Like a lot of shows I’ve seen so far, this falls in the middle for me. This was just 7 minutes short of 3 hours, and I felt every bit of it. This show is so damn boring for the most part. The opener was the only thing to go off without a hitch. The two Cell Matches were both good in their own way, but the first one went too long and the second had a stupid finish. The rest of this show is such filter. And not just that, but the main event (aka the only match people cared about on this show) just underdelivered so hard.
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TLC 2017
Match 1: Asuka def. Emma (9:25)
This might make me sound kind of snobby, because this was a fine match, it was alright. Not a good debut match though. For somebody who came in with as much hype as Asuka did, this match should’ve been one of two things, a great competitive match that really showed how good Asuka really was, or a match where she floors Emma to prove her dominance. This wasn’t either. But like I said, it was alright. Asuka shows off her wrestling ability early, and then Emma takes control of the match. It’s your average match on an episode of Raw pretty much. But Asuka makes the comeback of course. Emma puts up a good fight, but Asuka locks in the Asuka Lock to make Emma tap and Asuka wins her debut match on the main roster.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 2: Rich Swann & Cedric Alexander def. Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher (8:00)
Another okay match with a little excitement to it. But it’s nothing special. Cedric dives onto Kendrick and Gallagher early in the match, but then he tags out to Swann, who gets the isolation treatment from the heel corner. But when Swann tags Cedric back in, the pace begins to pick up and we have ourselves a cruiserweight match. Kendrick gets Cedric in the Captain’s Hook. Cedric manages to roll Kendrick over in position for Swann to hit a Phoenix Splash on Kendrick to save Cedric. Gallagher comes back in. Swann hits a spin kick and Gallagher responds with a headbutt that pretty much takes them both out. Leaving Cedric and Brian alone where Cedric hits the Lumbar Check to take the W.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 3: Raw Women’s Championship Match - Alexa Bliss (c) def. Mickie James (11:25)
Not a great match, but I wasn’t really expecting one. It’s solid though. A better match than you would expect. I like the story of Mickie trying to have one more successful run. I thought Alexa calling Mickie an old lady was some pretty low hanging fruit (I believe the correct term was milf). It's alright. Mickie shows early, she can wrestle circles around Alexa. But Bliss starts going after the shoulder of Mickie and starts wearing her down. But the other problem is that it's pretty sloppy. (I know, an Alexa Bliss match? Sloppy? Never) Mickie starts to make a comeback, and goes up top. But Bliss knocks her off and Mickie sells her shoulder, screaming in pain. Alexa goes for Twisted Bliss and misses. Alexa retreats to the corner, and Mickie tries to bring her out, but Alexa pulls Mickie face first into the turnbuckle and hits the DDT to retain.
My Rating: ***
Match 4: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Enzo Amore def. Kalisto (c) (8:45)
My god, Enzo is just abysmal in the ring. Absolutely abysmal. Legitimately, the only reason that I didn’t rate this match was because of Kalisto’s efforts. Enzo is sloppy as he always has been while Kalisto flies and adds some excitement, but can’t really save the match. Kalisto gets most of his stuff in early and a lot of the match is Enzo wearing Kalisto down boringly. Kalisto tries the Solida Del Sol, but Enzo pushes him away and with the referee not looking, Enzo pokes Kalisto in the eye hits Eat Defeet or whatever the fuck to win. Kalisto was Cruiserweight Champion for all of 2 weeks. Groan.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 5: Finn Balor def. AJ Styles (18:20)
I love Bray Wyatt, but we almost got Pumpkin Demon vs Sister Abigail which would’ve sucked and they no doubt would’ve buried Bray once again. So we got this match instead and what a match it was. Doesn’t hold up as well as I remember, but I can’t complain a whole lot when it was this awesome! Not gonna lie, I was gonna skip this show but once I heard this match was happening, I knew I couldn’t miss it. These two took it to the limit and this was an extremely competitive match. They referenced the Bullet Club a couple times saying they both the leaders at one point. Lots of counters. They just throw out every move in their playbook. Dives, dropkicks. AJ goes for the Phenomenal Forearm, and Finn just shoves him to the floor. Finn goes outside and continues the assault on AJ. Finn goes to pick AJ up, but Styles picks Finn up by his waist and takes them both over the announce table. They both make it back in the ring. They each go for a running crossbody and a clothesline at the same time. Finn hits 1916 and dropkicks AJ in the corner, setting up the Coup de Grace. Styles pele kicks him and rolls the apron. AJ springboards off the top rope, and leaps to hit a hurricanrana from the top rope on Finn. After Finn kicks out of that, AJ goes outside and tries the springboard 450, but Balor dodges and rocks AJ with a clothesline, and dropkicks Styles in the corner again, hitting the Coup de Grace this time to take the win. They both too sweet afterward.
My Rating: ****
Match 6: Jason Jordan def. Elias (8:50)
So this match wasn’t even originally on the card, it was added in because Elias twice already tried to have a concert and Jason Jordan interrupted him by pelting vegetables at him. Really setting the world on fire with these storylines. And man, it’s just… so uninteresting. This match bored the hell out of me. I don’t think either of them are really bad wrestlers, but who the fuck is gonna care about this match. Jason Jordan shows why he’s the better wrestler and Elias… does Elias things. He wears him down. The biggest spot of the match was when Elias run and slammed his knee into Jason’s back when sent him into the corner. Elias puts up a good fight honestly, I don’t think this match did any favors for Jordan. Jason rolls Elias up in a small package in order to win the match, but Elias’ shoulder was up and they make sure that we notice that. Maybe in a match with actual stakes, I might give a shit.
My Rating: *1/2
Main Event: 5-on-3 Handicap TLC Match - Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose & Kurt Angle def. The Miz, The Bar, Kane & Braun Strowman (35:25)
Originally supposed to be Roman Reigns in this match, he came down with the same illness that Bray had. And who would his replacement be? Kurt Freakin’ Angle! I wasn’t sure what to expect from this match after hearing that, but I knew I couldn’t miss this either. Sadly, Kurt is hardly in it, but you know what, he probably couldn’t take many bumps so its whatever. I didn’t like this match when I first watched it. I thought it was stupid and overbooked… And I still think that. But hell the good stuff they did in this match, was REALLY good so fuck it. I found myself enjoying this match now. But I can definitely still see why people don’t like it. Seth, Dean and Kurt each grab a chair before they even get in the ring and they wail the opposing team with it. And I mean they really wail Braun and Kane in particular. They set Kane and Braun out on announce tables and Seth splashes Braun while Dean elbow drops Kane. Unfortunately, that leaves Kurt Angle alone with Miz and The Bar. It looks like they’re about to triple powerbomb him, but Seth and Dean make the save and then Kurt starts throwing Miz around with german suplexes, then Sheamus and then Cesaro. Kane recovers and goes to chokeslam Kurt, but Kurt double legs Kane and puts him in the Ankle Lock. But then Braun comes in and he takes Kurt outside, throwing him around before he powerslams Kurt through a table. And then a few people come out to take Kurt to the back, which is probably why I hated this match back then, because this was the whole reason for me wanting to see this match. So then, it’s 5 on 2, and they really take their sweet old time beating Seth and Dean, really savoring the moment. Seth and Dean start mounting a couple comebacks but it’s pretty much no use. Miz motions for someone in the back to back a garbage truck into the arena so they can throw Seth and Dean in there like trash like he said he’d do earlier. Seth and Dean dive off the truck onto their opponents and go after The Miz. Kane saves Miz, who then has to be saved by Braun. Now this is pretty much where it starts getting dumb. Kane for a reason undetermined, turns on Braun, chokeslams him through the walkway connecting the stage to the announcers table and using chairs hanging from the set, pulls them down on top of Braun. So he walks back over like nothing happened and they get set to throw Seth and Dean into the garbage truck. But Braun is not dead. He gets up, throws Miz, Cesaro and Sheamus to the side to get to Kane because you fucking would right? But then, they start ganging up on Braun and toss him into the truck instead. They drag Seth Rollins back to the ring after killing Braun Strowman and go to pin him. Dean breaks up the pin. But then Kurt’s music hits, and he marches back down. He dodges a Brogue from Sheamus and hits him with an OLYMPIC SLAM on the floor, then hits an OLYMPIC SLAM on Cesaro through a table. He goes back in the ring, gets grabbed by Kane, but Seth and Dean save him with chairs. And in a cool shout out to Roman, they spear Kane through the barricade together. Miz sneaks from behind Kurt and hits the Skull Crushing Finale, but Angle kicks out! Miz throws a tantrum at the referee before he picks Kurt back up and tries it again, but Kurt reverses it in the Ankle Lock. Miz manages to escape by rolling through Kurt’s legs. But then Miz finds himself surrounded by Kurt, Seth and Dean all at once. Seth hits Miz with the Ripcord Knee. Dean gives him Dirty Deeds. Miz stumbles back up into an OLYMPIC SLAM. They pick Miz back up again, and Kurt spreads and flexes those arms and he goes “YEAH!” (I popped for it, I know I’m a mark). Seth and Dean lift Miz up onto Kurt’s shoulders and they drop him with the Triple Powerbomb to win the match. I don’t care what you say, judge me all you want. This match was overbooked as fuck but it was also a lot of fun to watch. I hadn’t even realized it was over 35 minutes.
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.27
My Rating: 6/10
By the time we got to the main event, I was sure I was gonna give this show a lower rating because those first 4 matches, even though they were a lot shorter than the 2 big matches on the show, really felt like they dragged. The first half of this show was not fun at all. The two important matches delievered though and got the most amount of time so that’s a plus. Still, they had a pretty lame TV match in between them. So as much as I’d like to go higher, I don’t think I can.
Match 1: Asuka def. Emma (9:25)
This might make me sound kind of snobby, because this was a fine match, it was alright. Not a good debut match though. For somebody who came in with as much hype as Asuka did, this match should’ve been one of two things, a great competitive match that really showed how good Asuka really was, or a match where she floors Emma to prove her dominance. This wasn’t either. But like I said, it was alright. Asuka shows off her wrestling ability early, and then Emma takes control of the match. It’s your average match on an episode of Raw pretty much. But Asuka makes the comeback of course. Emma puts up a good fight, but Asuka locks in the Asuka Lock to make Emma tap and Asuka wins her debut match on the main roster.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 2: Rich Swann & Cedric Alexander def. Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher (8:00)
Another okay match with a little excitement to it. But it’s nothing special. Cedric dives onto Kendrick and Gallagher early in the match, but then he tags out to Swann, who gets the isolation treatment from the heel corner. But when Swann tags Cedric back in, the pace begins to pick up and we have ourselves a cruiserweight match. Kendrick gets Cedric in the Captain’s Hook. Cedric manages to roll Kendrick over in position for Swann to hit a Phoenix Splash on Kendrick to save Cedric. Gallagher comes back in. Swann hits a spin kick and Gallagher responds with a headbutt that pretty much takes them both out. Leaving Cedric and Brian alone where Cedric hits the Lumbar Check to take the W.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 3: Raw Women’s Championship Match - Alexa Bliss (c) def. Mickie James (11:25)
Not a great match, but I wasn’t really expecting one. It’s solid though. A better match than you would expect. I like the story of Mickie trying to have one more successful run. I thought Alexa calling Mickie an old lady was some pretty low hanging fruit (I believe the correct term was milf). It's alright. Mickie shows early, she can wrestle circles around Alexa. But Bliss starts going after the shoulder of Mickie and starts wearing her down. But the other problem is that it's pretty sloppy. (I know, an Alexa Bliss match? Sloppy? Never) Mickie starts to make a comeback, and goes up top. But Bliss knocks her off and Mickie sells her shoulder, screaming in pain. Alexa goes for Twisted Bliss and misses. Alexa retreats to the corner, and Mickie tries to bring her out, but Alexa pulls Mickie face first into the turnbuckle and hits the DDT to retain.
My Rating: ***
Match 4: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Enzo Amore def. Kalisto (c) (8:45)
My god, Enzo is just abysmal in the ring. Absolutely abysmal. Legitimately, the only reason that I didn’t rate this match was because of Kalisto’s efforts. Enzo is sloppy as he always has been while Kalisto flies and adds some excitement, but can’t really save the match. Kalisto gets most of his stuff in early and a lot of the match is Enzo wearing Kalisto down boringly. Kalisto tries the Solida Del Sol, but Enzo pushes him away and with the referee not looking, Enzo pokes Kalisto in the eye hits Eat Defeet or whatever the fuck to win. Kalisto was Cruiserweight Champion for all of 2 weeks. Groan.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 5: Finn Balor def. AJ Styles (18:20)
I love Bray Wyatt, but we almost got Pumpkin Demon vs Sister Abigail which would’ve sucked and they no doubt would’ve buried Bray once again. So we got this match instead and what a match it was. Doesn’t hold up as well as I remember, but I can’t complain a whole lot when it was this awesome! Not gonna lie, I was gonna skip this show but once I heard this match was happening, I knew I couldn’t miss it. These two took it to the limit and this was an extremely competitive match. They referenced the Bullet Club a couple times saying they both the leaders at one point. Lots of counters. They just throw out every move in their playbook. Dives, dropkicks. AJ goes for the Phenomenal Forearm, and Finn just shoves him to the floor. Finn goes outside and continues the assault on AJ. Finn goes to pick AJ up, but Styles picks Finn up by his waist and takes them both over the announce table. They both make it back in the ring. They each go for a running crossbody and a clothesline at the same time. Finn hits 1916 and dropkicks AJ in the corner, setting up the Coup de Grace. Styles pele kicks him and rolls the apron. AJ springboards off the top rope, and leaps to hit a hurricanrana from the top rope on Finn. After Finn kicks out of that, AJ goes outside and tries the springboard 450, but Balor dodges and rocks AJ with a clothesline, and dropkicks Styles in the corner again, hitting the Coup de Grace this time to take the win. They both too sweet afterward.
My Rating: ****
Match 6: Jason Jordan def. Elias (8:50)
So this match wasn’t even originally on the card, it was added in because Elias twice already tried to have a concert and Jason Jordan interrupted him by pelting vegetables at him. Really setting the world on fire with these storylines. And man, it’s just… so uninteresting. This match bored the hell out of me. I don’t think either of them are really bad wrestlers, but who the fuck is gonna care about this match. Jason Jordan shows why he’s the better wrestler and Elias… does Elias things. He wears him down. The biggest spot of the match was when Elias run and slammed his knee into Jason’s back when sent him into the corner. Elias puts up a good fight honestly, I don’t think this match did any favors for Jordan. Jason rolls Elias up in a small package in order to win the match, but Elias’ shoulder was up and they make sure that we notice that. Maybe in a match with actual stakes, I might give a shit.
My Rating: *1/2
Main Event: 5-on-3 Handicap TLC Match - Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose & Kurt Angle def. The Miz, The Bar, Kane & Braun Strowman (35:25)
Originally supposed to be Roman Reigns in this match, he came down with the same illness that Bray had. And who would his replacement be? Kurt Freakin’ Angle! I wasn’t sure what to expect from this match after hearing that, but I knew I couldn’t miss this either. Sadly, Kurt is hardly in it, but you know what, he probably couldn’t take many bumps so its whatever. I didn’t like this match when I first watched it. I thought it was stupid and overbooked… And I still think that. But hell the good stuff they did in this match, was REALLY good so fuck it. I found myself enjoying this match now. But I can definitely still see why people don’t like it. Seth, Dean and Kurt each grab a chair before they even get in the ring and they wail the opposing team with it. And I mean they really wail Braun and Kane in particular. They set Kane and Braun out on announce tables and Seth splashes Braun while Dean elbow drops Kane. Unfortunately, that leaves Kurt Angle alone with Miz and The Bar. It looks like they’re about to triple powerbomb him, but Seth and Dean make the save and then Kurt starts throwing Miz around with german suplexes, then Sheamus and then Cesaro. Kane recovers and goes to chokeslam Kurt, but Kurt double legs Kane and puts him in the Ankle Lock. But then Braun comes in and he takes Kurt outside, throwing him around before he powerslams Kurt through a table. And then a few people come out to take Kurt to the back, which is probably why I hated this match back then, because this was the whole reason for me wanting to see this match. So then, it’s 5 on 2, and they really take their sweet old time beating Seth and Dean, really savoring the moment. Seth and Dean start mounting a couple comebacks but it’s pretty much no use. Miz motions for someone in the back to back a garbage truck into the arena so they can throw Seth and Dean in there like trash like he said he’d do earlier. Seth and Dean dive off the truck onto their opponents and go after The Miz. Kane saves Miz, who then has to be saved by Braun. Now this is pretty much where it starts getting dumb. Kane for a reason undetermined, turns on Braun, chokeslams him through the walkway connecting the stage to the announcers table and using chairs hanging from the set, pulls them down on top of Braun. So he walks back over like nothing happened and they get set to throw Seth and Dean into the garbage truck. But Braun is not dead. He gets up, throws Miz, Cesaro and Sheamus to the side to get to Kane because you fucking would right? But then, they start ganging up on Braun and toss him into the truck instead. They drag Seth Rollins back to the ring after killing Braun Strowman and go to pin him. Dean breaks up the pin. But then Kurt’s music hits, and he marches back down. He dodges a Brogue from Sheamus and hits him with an OLYMPIC SLAM on the floor, then hits an OLYMPIC SLAM on Cesaro through a table. He goes back in the ring, gets grabbed by Kane, but Seth and Dean save him with chairs. And in a cool shout out to Roman, they spear Kane through the barricade together. Miz sneaks from behind Kurt and hits the Skull Crushing Finale, but Angle kicks out! Miz throws a tantrum at the referee before he picks Kurt back up and tries it again, but Kurt reverses it in the Ankle Lock. Miz manages to escape by rolling through Kurt’s legs. But then Miz finds himself surrounded by Kurt, Seth and Dean all at once. Seth hits Miz with the Ripcord Knee. Dean gives him Dirty Deeds. Miz stumbles back up into an OLYMPIC SLAM. They pick Miz back up again, and Kurt spreads and flexes those arms and he goes “YEAH!” (I popped for it, I know I’m a mark). Seth and Dean lift Miz up onto Kurt’s shoulders and they drop him with the Triple Powerbomb to win the match. I don’t care what you say, judge me all you want. This match was overbooked as fuck but it was also a lot of fun to watch. I hadn’t even realized it was over 35 minutes.
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.27
My Rating: 6/10
By the time we got to the main event, I was sure I was gonna give this show a lower rating because those first 4 matches, even though they were a lot shorter than the 2 big matches on the show, really felt like they dragged. The first half of this show was not fun at all. The two important matches delievered though and got the most amount of time so that’s a plus. Still, they had a pretty lame TV match in between them. So as much as I’d like to go higher, I don’t think I can.
The Bash 2009
Match 1: ECW Championship Scramble Match - Tommy Dreamer (c) def. Christian, Jack Swagger, Finlay & Mark Henry (14:46)
I've always thought that the Scramble Match was a concept that should be used more often. This match itself wasn't fantastic but it was solid. It served it's purpose as an opener. The match starts with Christian and Swagger and they get us off to an alright start. Finlay is the 3rd man out and he immediately starts putting the boots to the 2 in the ring. They mention on commentary that Finlay has a bad eye coming into this match and Swagger is the first to get a pinball after poking him in the eye and rolling him up from behind. Dreamer is the next man out and not gonna lie, during this period, it felt as if they forgot a few of their spots. Finlay manages to get a pinball after hitting Swagger with the Celtic Cross. Just as Finlay attempts to superplex Christian, Mark Henry comes out and am they pull a tower of doom spot with Henry powerbombing Finlay and Christian getting suplexed into Dreamer. That was cool. Henry just cleans house and pins Dreamer after a World's Strongest Slam. Soon enough, everybody starts diving on each other to the outside. So Henry decides he's gonna try and I wanted him to do it. But no fun Swagger runs in and chops Henry's leg out and pins him. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger, but Dreamer comes in and DDTs Christian and pins him. The rest of the match with just over a minute left I'd Tommy playing defense (and pinning Mark for some reason). Everybody tries to pin Tommy at the end just as the time runs out and Dreamer retains.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: Intercontinental Title vs. Mask Match - Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho (c) (15:42)
The only WWE GAB PPV I have left after this one will be 2008, and I don't believe Rey had a match at that one. So every WWE GAB show that Rey was involved in, he had the best match on the card. And this one was the best of them all! This was an absolutely amazing match! Jericho wrestles a perfect match but it comes down to Rey outsmarting him at the end. Jericho wears Rey down early but the pace quickly picks up after Rey hits a seated senton to Chris on the floor. Mysterio springboards off one side of the ride and sits on the other which bounces him off into a flip on Jericho which I'm not sure I saw him do often at least in WWE. Rey is able to stay in the whole time but Jericho seemingly has everything Rey does scouted. Jericho had a counter for pretty much everything Rey did. Rey tried to bounce off the ropes to hurricanrana Chris off the top rope, but Chris caught him and dropped him to the mat with a Powerbomb. Rey bounced off the middle rope back at Jericho, but Chris caught him with a Codebreaker. And Rey kicked out after that. It looked like Jericho was gonna try a Codebreaker from the top rope, but Rey dropped his head to stay up while Jericho fell to the mat. Mysterio comes off the top and dropkicks Jericho into the ropes and follows up with a 619! Rey goes for the seated senton again, but Jericho catches him and drops him to put him back in the Walls of Jericho for the 2nd time in the match. Mysterio manages to escape, but turning his body through Jericho's legs. Jericho lifts him up and Rey flips over him to a pinning position. They counter each in pins until Jericho reaches for and pulls Rey's mask off his face! Except wait a second! Rey was wearing another mask! Rey kicks Chris into the ropes, hits the 619 and a splash to win the title and keep his mask! This is one of my favorite finishes to a match ever. This was already a classic and that finish was just "muaw!" Chef's kiss!
My Rating: ****1/2
Match 3: No Disqualification Match - Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali (5:00)
Well if everything on this show was a winner, it would be a lot higher. But man, going from the best match on the card to the worst is rough. It's not totally horrible so thats… good? Khali misses a chop and hits the ring post instead. That's something. Dolph brings a chair into the ring and Khali punches it out of his hands. Khali looks like he's gonna finish Dolph when Kane comes down and beats on Khali with a chair. So they get to have a shitty feud. Good for them. Dolph pins Khali, who can't even keep his shoulders down for the count.
My Rating: *1/4
Match 4: Unified Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match - Edge & Chris Jericho def. The Colons (c) & Legacy (9:39)
So Edge and Jericho were not originally in this match, but after a berating from Vince, Teddy felt pressured to "shake things up" and stuck them in the match, much to the Colons and Legacy's annoyance. But this match is pretty much the Colons vs Legacy because Edge and Jericho are hardly in the match. When they get tagged in, Rhodes or DiBiase immediately tag themselves in. Legacy wears down Primo, Prime gets the hot tag to Carlito. Primo makes the save to Carlito and Jericho runs in to hit Primo with a Codebreaker. Carlito and Cody wind up in Edge's corner, Edge tags himself in. Carlito pulls Cody away and hits a Backstabber, but doesn't realize Edge tagged himself in. Edge Spears Carlito and Jericho prevents DiBiase from stopping the pin. Edge and Jericho win the titles with minimal effort.
My Rating: **1/4
Match 5: Women's Championship Match - Michelle McCool def. Melina (c) (6:33)
For it's time, a pretty good women's match. I've always thought Melina was a better wrestler than people remember. Melina gets to a hot start, but Michelle starts going after Melina's knee and a lot of the offense comes from Michelle honestly. There was a point when Melina had Michelle pinned near the ropes, but Alicia Fox, who was in McCool's corner put her foot on the bottom rope. Melina drops Alicia with a kick but it pays off for McCool once she hits the Faith Breaker (Styles Clash) to win the match.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Jeff Hardy def. CM Punk (c) via DQ (14:58)
Here it is, the first match not counting the one at Extreme Rules in what's the best feud of 2009. Punk wasn't a heel yet. But you could tell it was coming. Pretty early in the match, Jeff is on the outside and Punk seems pretty content with a count out victory. The match is a bit of a slow burn but I thought it was good. Punk wears Hardy down, because he works like a heel for this match. Thinking about it now, Jeff Hardy was probably one of the only people at the time that Punk could've turned heel against and be booed. That's how over Jeff was. The match soon starts being an even contest. Hardy's first Swanton attempt misses, but the second one doesn't. And Jeff pins Punk, but Punk's foot was under the bottom rope so as Jeff's music is playing and the crowd is celebrating, the referee notices and waves his hands saying "no, no!" The referee restarts the match and Jeff goes for a Twist of Fate, Punk counters it into a GTS position. Jeff elbows Punk in the face and Punk starts holding his eye and retreats to the corner. Oh no, his eye is out! It's eye for an eye all over again! Nah, he just kicks the referee in the back and blames it on his bad eye. The referee rings the bell, disqualifying Punk, much to Jeff's distress. Jeff accuses Punk of kicking him on purpose and proceeds to beat the shit out of Punk. This feud was just getting started!
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 7: John Cena def. The Miz (5:39)
Yes, pre-awesome Miz actually had a match with John Cena on PPV and was jabroned hard. Now Miz doesn't get no shots in, but the shots he does get in are very insignificant and. Cena plays with Miz in the beginning and Miz gets that angry look on his face, you know the one. The one where he always looks like a kid whose parents just took away his Playstation. Miz hangs Cena up on the ropes and wears him down a bit but then Cena, quite easily, hits his 2K comeback, the Five Knuckle Shuffle, AA, STF. Miz taps out and can collect his paycheck.
My Rating: **
Main Event: WWE Championship 3 Stages of Hell Match - Randy Orton (c) def. Triple H (21:21)
Um… better than their WrestleMania match at least. That's the nicest thing I can say about it. These 2 feuded on and off for like 5 years and had no chemistry at all together. Maybe as a blood feud, these two were great together but when it came time to actually have a match, they just put you to sleep. The first fall in this match was a regular wrestling match, and because they remembered WrestleMania, that was over in like 5 minutes because HHH hit Orton with a chair and was disqualified. Bur this was actually pretty smart because HHH just wailed on him with the chair which led to the second stage, Falls Count Anywhere. And that lasted all of one minute because HHH Pedigreed Orton on the floor and took that fall. So both the first falls were over in 6 minutes, which means the last 15 are gonna be a Stretcher Match… yawn, you couldn't have picked something else. They had a Last Man Standing Match on the Raw before this, you could've just saved that for this match. I kinda felt bad for them because the entrance way isn't straight, it's a ramp. So they both had to literally push each other on a stretcher up this ramp. They have an absolutely dull final match. It's a slow burn. Triple H hits Orton with a Pedigree on the top of the stage and places Orton on top of the stretcher and just as it seems HHH is about to win, Rhodes and DiBiase interfere and attack HHH, then try to revive Orton. HHH pulls one of the grates off and whips out his huge sledgehammer, which he put there just in case I guess? He wails Cody and Ted before Orton pulls one of the grates off and hits HHH with it. HHH falls across the stretcher, allowing Orton to pull him over the finish line and retain his title.
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.27
My Rating: 6/10
Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with it's current rating on Cagematch. Sure, there was that awesome IC Title match and that does its share in bumping this show up. But the second best match on the show was okay, not really worth watching though. And that's what I'd say about this PPV, not worth the watch. Mysterio vs Jericho was epic, can't say I'd recommend anything else.
Match 1: ECW Championship Scramble Match - Tommy Dreamer (c) def. Christian, Jack Swagger, Finlay & Mark Henry (14:46)
I've always thought that the Scramble Match was a concept that should be used more often. This match itself wasn't fantastic but it was solid. It served it's purpose as an opener. The match starts with Christian and Swagger and they get us off to an alright start. Finlay is the 3rd man out and he immediately starts putting the boots to the 2 in the ring. They mention on commentary that Finlay has a bad eye coming into this match and Swagger is the first to get a pinball after poking him in the eye and rolling him up from behind. Dreamer is the next man out and not gonna lie, during this period, it felt as if they forgot a few of their spots. Finlay manages to get a pinball after hitting Swagger with the Celtic Cross. Just as Finlay attempts to superplex Christian, Mark Henry comes out and am they pull a tower of doom spot with Henry powerbombing Finlay and Christian getting suplexed into Dreamer. That was cool. Henry just cleans house and pins Dreamer after a World's Strongest Slam. Soon enough, everybody starts diving on each other to the outside. So Henry decides he's gonna try and I wanted him to do it. But no fun Swagger runs in and chops Henry's leg out and pins him. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger, but Dreamer comes in and DDTs Christian and pins him. The rest of the match with just over a minute left I'd Tommy playing defense (and pinning Mark for some reason). Everybody tries to pin Tommy at the end just as the time runs out and Dreamer retains.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: Intercontinental Title vs. Mask Match - Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho (c) (15:42)
The only WWE GAB PPV I have left after this one will be 2008, and I don't believe Rey had a match at that one. So every WWE GAB show that Rey was involved in, he had the best match on the card. And this one was the best of them all! This was an absolutely amazing match! Jericho wrestles a perfect match but it comes down to Rey outsmarting him at the end. Jericho wears Rey down early but the pace quickly picks up after Rey hits a seated senton to Chris on the floor. Mysterio springboards off one side of the ride and sits on the other which bounces him off into a flip on Jericho which I'm not sure I saw him do often at least in WWE. Rey is able to stay in the whole time but Jericho seemingly has everything Rey does scouted. Jericho had a counter for pretty much everything Rey did. Rey tried to bounce off the ropes to hurricanrana Chris off the top rope, but Chris caught him and dropped him to the mat with a Powerbomb. Rey bounced off the middle rope back at Jericho, but Chris caught him with a Codebreaker. And Rey kicked out after that. It looked like Jericho was gonna try a Codebreaker from the top rope, but Rey dropped his head to stay up while Jericho fell to the mat. Mysterio comes off the top and dropkicks Jericho into the ropes and follows up with a 619! Rey goes for the seated senton again, but Jericho catches him and drops him to put him back in the Walls of Jericho for the 2nd time in the match. Mysterio manages to escape, but turning his body through Jericho's legs. Jericho lifts him up and Rey flips over him to a pinning position. They counter each in pins until Jericho reaches for and pulls Rey's mask off his face! Except wait a second! Rey was wearing another mask! Rey kicks Chris into the ropes, hits the 619 and a splash to win the title and keep his mask! This is one of my favorite finishes to a match ever. This was already a classic and that finish was just "muaw!" Chef's kiss!
My Rating: ****1/2
Match 3: No Disqualification Match - Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali (5:00)
Well if everything on this show was a winner, it would be a lot higher. But man, going from the best match on the card to the worst is rough. It's not totally horrible so thats… good? Khali misses a chop and hits the ring post instead. That's something. Dolph brings a chair into the ring and Khali punches it out of his hands. Khali looks like he's gonna finish Dolph when Kane comes down and beats on Khali with a chair. So they get to have a shitty feud. Good for them. Dolph pins Khali, who can't even keep his shoulders down for the count.
My Rating: *1/4
Match 4: Unified Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match - Edge & Chris Jericho def. The Colons (c) & Legacy (9:39)
So Edge and Jericho were not originally in this match, but after a berating from Vince, Teddy felt pressured to "shake things up" and stuck them in the match, much to the Colons and Legacy's annoyance. But this match is pretty much the Colons vs Legacy because Edge and Jericho are hardly in the match. When they get tagged in, Rhodes or DiBiase immediately tag themselves in. Legacy wears down Primo, Prime gets the hot tag to Carlito. Primo makes the save to Carlito and Jericho runs in to hit Primo with a Codebreaker. Carlito and Cody wind up in Edge's corner, Edge tags himself in. Carlito pulls Cody away and hits a Backstabber, but doesn't realize Edge tagged himself in. Edge Spears Carlito and Jericho prevents DiBiase from stopping the pin. Edge and Jericho win the titles with minimal effort.
My Rating: **1/4
Match 5: Women's Championship Match - Michelle McCool def. Melina (c) (6:33)
For it's time, a pretty good women's match. I've always thought Melina was a better wrestler than people remember. Melina gets to a hot start, but Michelle starts going after Melina's knee and a lot of the offense comes from Michelle honestly. There was a point when Melina had Michelle pinned near the ropes, but Alicia Fox, who was in McCool's corner put her foot on the bottom rope. Melina drops Alicia with a kick but it pays off for McCool once she hits the Faith Breaker (Styles Clash) to win the match.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Jeff Hardy def. CM Punk (c) via DQ (14:58)
Here it is, the first match not counting the one at Extreme Rules in what's the best feud of 2009. Punk wasn't a heel yet. But you could tell it was coming. Pretty early in the match, Jeff is on the outside and Punk seems pretty content with a count out victory. The match is a bit of a slow burn but I thought it was good. Punk wears Hardy down, because he works like a heel for this match. Thinking about it now, Jeff Hardy was probably one of the only people at the time that Punk could've turned heel against and be booed. That's how over Jeff was. The match soon starts being an even contest. Hardy's first Swanton attempt misses, but the second one doesn't. And Jeff pins Punk, but Punk's foot was under the bottom rope so as Jeff's music is playing and the crowd is celebrating, the referee notices and waves his hands saying "no, no!" The referee restarts the match and Jeff goes for a Twist of Fate, Punk counters it into a GTS position. Jeff elbows Punk in the face and Punk starts holding his eye and retreats to the corner. Oh no, his eye is out! It's eye for an eye all over again! Nah, he just kicks the referee in the back and blames it on his bad eye. The referee rings the bell, disqualifying Punk, much to Jeff's distress. Jeff accuses Punk of kicking him on purpose and proceeds to beat the shit out of Punk. This feud was just getting started!
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 7: John Cena def. The Miz (5:39)
Yes, pre-awesome Miz actually had a match with John Cena on PPV and was jabroned hard. Now Miz doesn't get no shots in, but the shots he does get in are very insignificant and. Cena plays with Miz in the beginning and Miz gets that angry look on his face, you know the one. The one where he always looks like a kid whose parents just took away his Playstation. Miz hangs Cena up on the ropes and wears him down a bit but then Cena, quite easily, hits his 2K comeback, the Five Knuckle Shuffle, AA, STF. Miz taps out and can collect his paycheck.
My Rating: **
Main Event: WWE Championship 3 Stages of Hell Match - Randy Orton (c) def. Triple H (21:21)
Um… better than their WrestleMania match at least. That's the nicest thing I can say about it. These 2 feuded on and off for like 5 years and had no chemistry at all together. Maybe as a blood feud, these two were great together but when it came time to actually have a match, they just put you to sleep. The first fall in this match was a regular wrestling match, and because they remembered WrestleMania, that was over in like 5 minutes because HHH hit Orton with a chair and was disqualified. Bur this was actually pretty smart because HHH just wailed on him with the chair which led to the second stage, Falls Count Anywhere. And that lasted all of one minute because HHH Pedigreed Orton on the floor and took that fall. So both the first falls were over in 6 minutes, which means the last 15 are gonna be a Stretcher Match… yawn, you couldn't have picked something else. They had a Last Man Standing Match on the Raw before this, you could've just saved that for this match. I kinda felt bad for them because the entrance way isn't straight, it's a ramp. So they both had to literally push each other on a stretcher up this ramp. They have an absolutely dull final match. It's a slow burn. Triple H hits Orton with a Pedigree on the top of the stage and places Orton on top of the stretcher and just as it seems HHH is about to win, Rhodes and DiBiase interfere and attack HHH, then try to revive Orton. HHH pulls one of the grates off and whips out his huge sledgehammer, which he put there just in case I guess? He wails Cody and Ted before Orton pulls one of the grates off and hits HHH with it. HHH falls across the stretcher, allowing Orton to pull him over the finish line and retain his title.
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.27
My Rating: 6/10
Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with it's current rating on Cagematch. Sure, there was that awesome IC Title match and that does its share in bumping this show up. But the second best match on the show was okay, not really worth watching though. And that's what I'd say about this PPV, not worth the watch. Mysterio vs Jericho was epic, can't say I'd recommend anything else.
Royal Rumble 2011
Match 1: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Edge (c) def. Dolph Ziggler (20:45)
I believe this was the first time a World Title match opened a PPV. I remember being surprised. It's a pretty good match too. Vickie Guerrero banned the spear in this match, so Edge basically had to fight Dolph without it. So now the story for the match becomes if any of Edge's other moves will beat Ziggler. The first half of the match isn't that great, but as Edge starts to come back, the crowd gets more and more into it. Especially as he busts out moves he didn't use very often anymore. Edge hits the Edgecution and Vickie Guerrero pulls the referee out of the ring, then gets on the apron and starts slapping Edge, which you would think would be grounds for a DQ. But Kelly Kelly runs down and takes Vickie down, knocking her out. But then Dolph comes up from behind and hits the Zig Zag. He covers Edge, but Edge kicks out. So Dolph then tries to make him pass out with the Sleeper Hold. Edge flails around trying to escape and takes the referee out in the process. To counter the sleeper, Edge drops down to hit a stunner. He looks at Vickie, he looks at the referee. And he decides to bend the rules. Be hits Dolph with the Spear and lays on the mat to fake out the referee, who only sees both men out on their backs. Edge gets up, picks up Dolph, and gives a shout to Christian with the Killswitch to pin Dolph and retain.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 2: WWE Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. Randy Orton (19:50)
So the first World Title match delivered. The second one does not. This match had me yawning. Orton starts out aggressively. He really puts the boots to Miz early. So the match got off to a good start. But Alex Riley's first interference is enough to turn the tide for the next 10 or so minutes. Because Miz gets a lot of offense in this match. And I don't know if you remember how Miz was at this time, but he was not good. Orton eventually starts to come back and it doesn't really get much better. This match is just extremely average. The new Nexus makes their way down to the ring with the referee knocked down. Alex Riley attempts to sneak attack Orton, but Randy grabs him and throws him over the ropes onto the Nexus. But CM Punk sneaks in from behind and drops Orton with a GTS, before he pulls Miz over Randy's body. The referee wakes up and counts the pin. Miz retains.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 3: Divas Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Eve Torres def. Natalya (c), Layla & Michelle McCool (5:12)
Originally, a Handicap Match with LayCool against Natalya, but the anonymous Raw general manager makes it a 4 Way, simply because LayCool is annoying, which is kind of hilarious actually. So Eve comes down and now we have a 4-Way. It's a 5 minute Divas match so there's not really much here. To their credit, LayCool actually avoided fighting each other. Natalya does a double Sharpshooter on 2 people which doesn't make any sense. Now Michelle does accidentally kick Layla which leads to her getting hit by Eve with a Moonsault. Michelle rolls Nattie up from behind, but the ref's attention is on Eve, who pins Layla to win the title.
My Rating: *1/2
Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Alberto Del Rio won by last eliminating Santino Marella (1:09:51)
The only 40 person Rumble in history. And for good reason. They wanted to draw more eyes to this show with that. (Can't say it didn't work, cause I wanted to see it). The problem is they didn't have nearly enough of a talent pool to make this work. Orton and Ziggler being in this match is pretty evident of that. The match starts with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, which is pretty good. The first 20 entrants are pretty much jobbers coming, with a couple exceptions of John Morrison and Mark Henry. Morrison pulls off a Kofi spot before it was even Kofi's thing. But also, Nexus members, Husky Harris (RIP), Michael McGillicutty, David Otunga, Batis- I mean Mason Ryan come out and they help Punk. They completely clear the ring. We have our first surprise entrant in Booker T which had Matt Striker "marking out bro!" Booker gets all his moves in before he's eliminated by Batista… Mason Ryan, sorry. But then John Cena comes out and just completely Supermans the Nexus. He eliminates them all, including Punk. So now the ring starts filling up with more relevant wrestlers like Kofi, Swagger, Mysterio, Sheamus and Barrett. Diesel makes a surprise entrant and makes Striker mark out again. Alex Riley comes out with The Miz. Miz goes on commentary while Riley fucks up and gets eliminated far quicker than he was supposed to. Santino is number 37 and gets kicked by Sheamus. And he rolls underneath the bottom rope. Del Rio is 38 and he takes his sweet time getting to the ring cause why not honestly. But he's forced in by number 39, Randy Orton, because they were hurting for entrants. Orton hands out RKOs left and right. Kane is number 40 but he's eliminated fairly quickly by Mysterio, who's then eliminated by Barrett. Alex Riley runs back down to distract Cena, who's then taken out by Miz from behind. Orton eliminates Wade Barrett, but then Del Rio comes up and eliminates Orton. Del Rio's music plays and everyone thinks he's won. But Santino rolls in from behind him, he cocks his Cobra (ladies), and whacks Del Rio with it. (Uh… fellas?) Santino does a victory sprint in the ring and just as it looks like he's won, Del Rio reverses him and drops the ropes on Santino to win the match. After over an hour and 40 entrants, it's number 38 that wins. And even worse, it's Del Rio.
My Rating: ***1/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.27
My Rating: 6/10
The last few shows have been consistently average. I'd say period between the opener and the Rumble was the worst. Just not interesting at all. The opener was pretty good, but that's the only thing I'd recommend from this show as that Rumble isn't worth the sitting to watch it.
Match 1: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Edge (c) def. Dolph Ziggler (20:45)
I believe this was the first time a World Title match opened a PPV. I remember being surprised. It's a pretty good match too. Vickie Guerrero banned the spear in this match, so Edge basically had to fight Dolph without it. So now the story for the match becomes if any of Edge's other moves will beat Ziggler. The first half of the match isn't that great, but as Edge starts to come back, the crowd gets more and more into it. Especially as he busts out moves he didn't use very often anymore. Edge hits the Edgecution and Vickie Guerrero pulls the referee out of the ring, then gets on the apron and starts slapping Edge, which you would think would be grounds for a DQ. But Kelly Kelly runs down and takes Vickie down, knocking her out. But then Dolph comes up from behind and hits the Zig Zag. He covers Edge, but Edge kicks out. So Dolph then tries to make him pass out with the Sleeper Hold. Edge flails around trying to escape and takes the referee out in the process. To counter the sleeper, Edge drops down to hit a stunner. He looks at Vickie, he looks at the referee. And he decides to bend the rules. Be hits Dolph with the Spear and lays on the mat to fake out the referee, who only sees both men out on their backs. Edge gets up, picks up Dolph, and gives a shout to Christian with the Killswitch to pin Dolph and retain.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 2: WWE Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. Randy Orton (19:50)
So the first World Title match delivered. The second one does not. This match had me yawning. Orton starts out aggressively. He really puts the boots to Miz early. So the match got off to a good start. But Alex Riley's first interference is enough to turn the tide for the next 10 or so minutes. Because Miz gets a lot of offense in this match. And I don't know if you remember how Miz was at this time, but he was not good. Orton eventually starts to come back and it doesn't really get much better. This match is just extremely average. The new Nexus makes their way down to the ring with the referee knocked down. Alex Riley attempts to sneak attack Orton, but Randy grabs him and throws him over the ropes onto the Nexus. But CM Punk sneaks in from behind and drops Orton with a GTS, before he pulls Miz over Randy's body. The referee wakes up and counts the pin. Miz retains.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 3: Divas Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Eve Torres def. Natalya (c), Layla & Michelle McCool (5:12)
Originally, a Handicap Match with LayCool against Natalya, but the anonymous Raw general manager makes it a 4 Way, simply because LayCool is annoying, which is kind of hilarious actually. So Eve comes down and now we have a 4-Way. It's a 5 minute Divas match so there's not really much here. To their credit, LayCool actually avoided fighting each other. Natalya does a double Sharpshooter on 2 people which doesn't make any sense. Now Michelle does accidentally kick Layla which leads to her getting hit by Eve with a Moonsault. Michelle rolls Nattie up from behind, but the ref's attention is on Eve, who pins Layla to win the title.
My Rating: *1/2
Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Alberto Del Rio won by last eliminating Santino Marella (1:09:51)
The only 40 person Rumble in history. And for good reason. They wanted to draw more eyes to this show with that. (Can't say it didn't work, cause I wanted to see it). The problem is they didn't have nearly enough of a talent pool to make this work. Orton and Ziggler being in this match is pretty evident of that. The match starts with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, which is pretty good. The first 20 entrants are pretty much jobbers coming, with a couple exceptions of John Morrison and Mark Henry. Morrison pulls off a Kofi spot before it was even Kofi's thing. But also, Nexus members, Husky Harris (RIP), Michael McGillicutty, David Otunga, Batis- I mean Mason Ryan come out and they help Punk. They completely clear the ring. We have our first surprise entrant in Booker T which had Matt Striker "marking out bro!" Booker gets all his moves in before he's eliminated by Batista… Mason Ryan, sorry. But then John Cena comes out and just completely Supermans the Nexus. He eliminates them all, including Punk. So now the ring starts filling up with more relevant wrestlers like Kofi, Swagger, Mysterio, Sheamus and Barrett. Diesel makes a surprise entrant and makes Striker mark out again. Alex Riley comes out with The Miz. Miz goes on commentary while Riley fucks up and gets eliminated far quicker than he was supposed to. Santino is number 37 and gets kicked by Sheamus. And he rolls underneath the bottom rope. Del Rio is 38 and he takes his sweet time getting to the ring cause why not honestly. But he's forced in by number 39, Randy Orton, because they were hurting for entrants. Orton hands out RKOs left and right. Kane is number 40 but he's eliminated fairly quickly by Mysterio, who's then eliminated by Barrett. Alex Riley runs back down to distract Cena, who's then taken out by Miz from behind. Orton eliminates Wade Barrett, but then Del Rio comes up and eliminates Orton. Del Rio's music plays and everyone thinks he's won. But Santino rolls in from behind him, he cocks his Cobra (ladies), and whacks Del Rio with it. (Uh… fellas?) Santino does a victory sprint in the ring and just as it looks like he's won, Del Rio reverses him and drops the ropes on Santino to win the match. After over an hour and 40 entrants, it's number 38 that wins. And even worse, it's Del Rio.
My Rating: ***1/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.27
My Rating: 6/10
The last few shows have been consistently average. I'd say period between the opener and the Rumble was the worst. Just not interesting at all. The opener was pretty good, but that's the only thing I'd recommend from this show as that Rumble isn't worth the sitting to watch it.
Fatal 4-Way (2010)
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Kofi Kingston (c) def. Drew McIntyre (16:30)
I’m wondering if Vince was expecting this match to be a banger with how much time it got. It’s alright, but it’s average at best. Now because Drew was known as Vince’s “chosen one”, he was just allowed to bully Teddy Long I guess. So he calls Teddy out and makes him sit at ringside during this match. Kofi starts hot but its not long before Drew takes control and starts wearing down Kofi for several minutes, and targets his arm. Already checked out, that’s a good start. Kofi begins to comeback when Drew goes to clothesline Kofi, who flips under Drew’s arm and hits a DDT. He hits another good one later, where he ducks under Drew’s clothesline and bounces off the middle ropes to hit a tornado DDT. But the referee gets taken out at some point, Drew McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT on Kofi. But with the referee out, he points at Teddy Long and tells him to get in the ring, put the shirt on and count the pin. Drew covers Kofi again, and Teddy counts one, two… and stops before three. Drew is livid and gets in his face saying “he’s gonna drop him again and then you’re gonna count.” Drew picks Kofi back up for another DDT, but Matt Hardy runs in, and drops Drew instead with a Twist of Fate. Kofi hits the Trouble in Paradise to retain cause Teddy counts for him.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 2: Divas Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Alicia Fox def. Eve Torres (c), Maryse & Gail Kim (5:41)
How ironic is this? On the last show I reviewed, Eve won the Divas Title in a 4-Way. And now here she is on this show, losing it in a 4-Way. Now I’m gonna be 100% honest with you… This match is terrible. I wasn’t expecting a 5 star classic or anything but I wasn’t expecting it to be so bad either. Now to be fair, they did only have 5 and a half minutes to work through their shit. But that also didn’t stop Maryse and Fox from staring at each other for about a full minute cause they probably forgot their spot. Gail Kim was the best wrestler in the match. She deserved better honestly. One cool thing in this was Eve put Alicia in a camel clutch and Gail ran over to put on a Boston Crab. Eve hits Maryse with a moonsault and Alicia grabs her, tossing her out of the ring before pinning Maryse to win the title. It’s impressive that WWE chose the worst option in this match to win.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 3: Evan Bourne def. Chris Jericho (12:05)
God damn what a match. Probably Bourne’s best match he had in WWE too. This was so good. And made it seem like Evan had a bright future ahead of him. Evan flies early. Jericho ends up outside and Bourne dives on him from the top rope. Jericho wears down Bourne for a few minutes, but Bourne quickly fights back and he leaps to hit a hurricanrana on Jericho, who was sitting on the top rope! Bourne tries a meteora but Chris rolls through and reverses it into a Walls of Jericho! Bourne manages to make it to the bottom rope to make Jericho break the hold. Bourne makes an attempt at the Shooting Star Press, but Jericho moves out of the way, and hits the Codebreaker on Evan. Bourne lands too close to the ropes though and when Jericho covers, Evan gets his foot on the rope. Jericho tries to put Bourne back in the Walls of Jericho, but Bourne guillotines Jericho’s head. Jericho is forced to pick Bourne up, who drops him with a DDT. Bourne climbs back to the top rope, and Jericho tries to thwart him twice again, but winds up on his stomach, allowing Bourne to hit the Shooting Star to Jericho’s back and cover him to win. Wow, this was awesome.
My Rating: ****
Match 4: World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Rey Mysterio def. Jack Swagger (c), CM Punk & Big Show (10:27)
This match was pretty good honestly. This was probably the perfect length. I bet if it went much longer, there would’ve been just a lot of Big Show bullying people. The video package for this match was ass though. It focused more on Kane than it did any of the 4 in the match. Like holy shit. You’d think Kane was the champ with how much they focused on him. The first couple minutes of the match is Big Show throwing his opponents around. Literally in Rey’s case. He palms Rey’s head and brings him into the ring that way, before throwing him into Swagger who was on the apron. In the words of my stepdad who was standing there when it happened, “He just beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.” Thanks to distractions from Swagger and Punk, Rey is able to DDT Big Show. Punk kicks Show in the head. Swagger, Punk and Rey do some good shit in the ring together. Rey goes for a 619 on Jack, but Punk springboards off the ropes and crossbody’s Rey. Swagger hits a double German suplex on Rey and Punk. Big Show soon comes back into the fray and drops Rey on the announce table. Big Show knocks Punk and Swagger outside. Big Show goes outside to grab Punk, but Swagger kicks the steel steps in Big Show’s legs, Rey gives Big Show a 619 around the post and Punk springboards off the ropes onto Big Show which takes him out the rest of the match. Rey gets kicked out of the air by Swagger. But then Punk comes in and drops Swagger with a GTS. This match has been so good so far that I had pretty much forgotten about Kane. But Kane comes down with a casket and goes after Punk. He tries to put him inside it, but Luke Gallows makes the save and he takes Punk out of there. Kane chases them back, leaving Rey to hit Swagger with the 619 and a splash to win the title. I didn’t expect much from this match, but I was impressed.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 5: United States Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. R-Truth (13:24)
You know, it bothers me that this match got more time than Jericho and Bourne did. Because this nearly put me to fucking sleep. At least the women’s match was short. This was pushing 15 minutes and jesus was it boring all the way through. At no point did it start to pick up. Miz pushes Truth into the ring post on the apron, causing Truth to drop, ribs first on the steel steps. And that’s where Miz focuses his attack on. And Miz is in control for nearly the whole match. Truth makes a brief comeback but Truth tries to roll Miz up from behind, but Miz keeps rolling and pins Truth’s shoulders.
My Rating: *
Match 6: The Hart Dynasty & Natalya def. The Usos & Tamina (9:29)
Not much to say about this match. This was just after The Usos debuted so they were fresh on the roster. Who’d have ever thought they’d main event WrestleMania at this time? Not me, that’s for sure. Like I said, this match wasn’t that great. The Usos keep Tyson Kidd away from his corner after I think Jey reversed a DDT into the barricade. The Usos weren’t very good yet so this was just some extremely TV match. Tyson eventually reaches Nattie and tags her in, forcing Tamina to get in as well. Davey Boy Jr. keeps the Usos from getting involved and takes one over the top rope. The other runs over to help his brother but Tyson Kidd springboards off the rope and dives on The Usos. Meanwhile, in the ring, Tamina misses a superfly splash, and Nattie beats her with a spinning clothesline.
My Rating: **1/4
Main Event: WWE Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Sheamus def. John Cena (c), Randy Orton & Edge (17:27)
So this match isn’t really exciting. On paper, this should’ve been good but this match was kind of a snooze. Orton knocks Edge and Cena knocks Sheamus out of the ring early and Cena and Orton already have to do the “stare at each other instead of fighting” spot that we’ve all seen a fuckjillion times. And if the crowd goes nuts for it, that’s fine. But when it’s just silence, then there’s no fun. This is a 2K multi-man match through and through. 2 people in the ring fight while the other 2 sit outside and wait for their spot. I feel like that’s what this entire match was. Just not very good. Just painfully average for a while. They each get their shit in. Edge throws Cena into an RKO from Orton, Orton eats a Spear, and then Edge gets a Brogue Kick. Orton throws Sheamus over the announce table, and then tries to give Edge one on the outside, but Edge throws him off and Spears him into the barricade. This leaves Cena alone in the ring. But then comes the most interesting part of this show. Cameras pick up The Nexus attacking The Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne and R-Truth backstage. And as soon as they show that footage, Lawler, Cole and Striker immediately begin to get up and decide they need to leave. The Nexus come down to the ring and they knock out security getting in their way. And they march after Cena. Cena tries to fight them, but they swarm him. Edge tries to get in there, but they take him out too. While they’re putting the boots to Edge, Sheamus runs in with the referee, who counts the pin, allowing Sheamus to win. The Nexus run back in the ring and Sheamus bails before he can even get the title. This is one of the only times when I think a no contest would’ve been better. Because the referee would be so scared that he would run away. That’s the only way that this could’ve been better. Other than that, I thought this was awesome. Because Justin Roberts has also bailed so nobody is even there to announce Sheamus as the winner. The Nexus chase Sheamus to the back after Sheamus is officially given the WWE Title. The camera pans to the 3 losers of the match who all out. The show ends on Cena alone in the ring after the Nexus leave. And one cool thing I want to point out that I failed to at the start of this review is that the crowd were chanting “Daniel Bryan” at the beginning of the show, and they were chanting it again here at the end. “Daniel Bryan!” Which was pretty awesome that he was so over even then.
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.29
My Rating: 5.5/10
I was ready to give this a lower rating, but I really liked the way this show ended. Establishing The Nexus even further as a genuine threat that everyone should be worried about. That coupled with the awesome match between Bourne and Jericho and the World Title 4-Way, I think this show has some good things on it. But it also has to awful stuff on it. Matches that got too much time or matches that were just plain awful.
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Kofi Kingston (c) def. Drew McIntyre (16:30)
I’m wondering if Vince was expecting this match to be a banger with how much time it got. It’s alright, but it’s average at best. Now because Drew was known as Vince’s “chosen one”, he was just allowed to bully Teddy Long I guess. So he calls Teddy out and makes him sit at ringside during this match. Kofi starts hot but its not long before Drew takes control and starts wearing down Kofi for several minutes, and targets his arm. Already checked out, that’s a good start. Kofi begins to comeback when Drew goes to clothesline Kofi, who flips under Drew’s arm and hits a DDT. He hits another good one later, where he ducks under Drew’s clothesline and bounces off the middle ropes to hit a tornado DDT. But the referee gets taken out at some point, Drew McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT on Kofi. But with the referee out, he points at Teddy Long and tells him to get in the ring, put the shirt on and count the pin. Drew covers Kofi again, and Teddy counts one, two… and stops before three. Drew is livid and gets in his face saying “he’s gonna drop him again and then you’re gonna count.” Drew picks Kofi back up for another DDT, but Matt Hardy runs in, and drops Drew instead with a Twist of Fate. Kofi hits the Trouble in Paradise to retain cause Teddy counts for him.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 2: Divas Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Alicia Fox def. Eve Torres (c), Maryse & Gail Kim (5:41)
How ironic is this? On the last show I reviewed, Eve won the Divas Title in a 4-Way. And now here she is on this show, losing it in a 4-Way. Now I’m gonna be 100% honest with you… This match is terrible. I wasn’t expecting a 5 star classic or anything but I wasn’t expecting it to be so bad either. Now to be fair, they did only have 5 and a half minutes to work through their shit. But that also didn’t stop Maryse and Fox from staring at each other for about a full minute cause they probably forgot their spot. Gail Kim was the best wrestler in the match. She deserved better honestly. One cool thing in this was Eve put Alicia in a camel clutch and Gail ran over to put on a Boston Crab. Eve hits Maryse with a moonsault and Alicia grabs her, tossing her out of the ring before pinning Maryse to win the title. It’s impressive that WWE chose the worst option in this match to win.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 3: Evan Bourne def. Chris Jericho (12:05)
God damn what a match. Probably Bourne’s best match he had in WWE too. This was so good. And made it seem like Evan had a bright future ahead of him. Evan flies early. Jericho ends up outside and Bourne dives on him from the top rope. Jericho wears down Bourne for a few minutes, but Bourne quickly fights back and he leaps to hit a hurricanrana on Jericho, who was sitting on the top rope! Bourne tries a meteora but Chris rolls through and reverses it into a Walls of Jericho! Bourne manages to make it to the bottom rope to make Jericho break the hold. Bourne makes an attempt at the Shooting Star Press, but Jericho moves out of the way, and hits the Codebreaker on Evan. Bourne lands too close to the ropes though and when Jericho covers, Evan gets his foot on the rope. Jericho tries to put Bourne back in the Walls of Jericho, but Bourne guillotines Jericho’s head. Jericho is forced to pick Bourne up, who drops him with a DDT. Bourne climbs back to the top rope, and Jericho tries to thwart him twice again, but winds up on his stomach, allowing Bourne to hit the Shooting Star to Jericho’s back and cover him to win. Wow, this was awesome.
My Rating: ****
Match 4: World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Rey Mysterio def. Jack Swagger (c), CM Punk & Big Show (10:27)
This match was pretty good honestly. This was probably the perfect length. I bet if it went much longer, there would’ve been just a lot of Big Show bullying people. The video package for this match was ass though. It focused more on Kane than it did any of the 4 in the match. Like holy shit. You’d think Kane was the champ with how much they focused on him. The first couple minutes of the match is Big Show throwing his opponents around. Literally in Rey’s case. He palms Rey’s head and brings him into the ring that way, before throwing him into Swagger who was on the apron. In the words of my stepdad who was standing there when it happened, “He just beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.” Thanks to distractions from Swagger and Punk, Rey is able to DDT Big Show. Punk kicks Show in the head. Swagger, Punk and Rey do some good shit in the ring together. Rey goes for a 619 on Jack, but Punk springboards off the ropes and crossbody’s Rey. Swagger hits a double German suplex on Rey and Punk. Big Show soon comes back into the fray and drops Rey on the announce table. Big Show knocks Punk and Swagger outside. Big Show goes outside to grab Punk, but Swagger kicks the steel steps in Big Show’s legs, Rey gives Big Show a 619 around the post and Punk springboards off the ropes onto Big Show which takes him out the rest of the match. Rey gets kicked out of the air by Swagger. But then Punk comes in and drops Swagger with a GTS. This match has been so good so far that I had pretty much forgotten about Kane. But Kane comes down with a casket and goes after Punk. He tries to put him inside it, but Luke Gallows makes the save and he takes Punk out of there. Kane chases them back, leaving Rey to hit Swagger with the 619 and a splash to win the title. I didn’t expect much from this match, but I was impressed.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 5: United States Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. R-Truth (13:24)
You know, it bothers me that this match got more time than Jericho and Bourne did. Because this nearly put me to fucking sleep. At least the women’s match was short. This was pushing 15 minutes and jesus was it boring all the way through. At no point did it start to pick up. Miz pushes Truth into the ring post on the apron, causing Truth to drop, ribs first on the steel steps. And that’s where Miz focuses his attack on. And Miz is in control for nearly the whole match. Truth makes a brief comeback but Truth tries to roll Miz up from behind, but Miz keeps rolling and pins Truth’s shoulders.
My Rating: *
Match 6: The Hart Dynasty & Natalya def. The Usos & Tamina (9:29)
Not much to say about this match. This was just after The Usos debuted so they were fresh on the roster. Who’d have ever thought they’d main event WrestleMania at this time? Not me, that’s for sure. Like I said, this match wasn’t that great. The Usos keep Tyson Kidd away from his corner after I think Jey reversed a DDT into the barricade. The Usos weren’t very good yet so this was just some extremely TV match. Tyson eventually reaches Nattie and tags her in, forcing Tamina to get in as well. Davey Boy Jr. keeps the Usos from getting involved and takes one over the top rope. The other runs over to help his brother but Tyson Kidd springboards off the rope and dives on The Usos. Meanwhile, in the ring, Tamina misses a superfly splash, and Nattie beats her with a spinning clothesline.
My Rating: **1/4
Main Event: WWE Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Sheamus def. John Cena (c), Randy Orton & Edge (17:27)
So this match isn’t really exciting. On paper, this should’ve been good but this match was kind of a snooze. Orton knocks Edge and Cena knocks Sheamus out of the ring early and Cena and Orton already have to do the “stare at each other instead of fighting” spot that we’ve all seen a fuckjillion times. And if the crowd goes nuts for it, that’s fine. But when it’s just silence, then there’s no fun. This is a 2K multi-man match through and through. 2 people in the ring fight while the other 2 sit outside and wait for their spot. I feel like that’s what this entire match was. Just not very good. Just painfully average for a while. They each get their shit in. Edge throws Cena into an RKO from Orton, Orton eats a Spear, and then Edge gets a Brogue Kick. Orton throws Sheamus over the announce table, and then tries to give Edge one on the outside, but Edge throws him off and Spears him into the barricade. This leaves Cena alone in the ring. But then comes the most interesting part of this show. Cameras pick up The Nexus attacking The Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne and R-Truth backstage. And as soon as they show that footage, Lawler, Cole and Striker immediately begin to get up and decide they need to leave. The Nexus come down to the ring and they knock out security getting in their way. And they march after Cena. Cena tries to fight them, but they swarm him. Edge tries to get in there, but they take him out too. While they’re putting the boots to Edge, Sheamus runs in with the referee, who counts the pin, allowing Sheamus to win. The Nexus run back in the ring and Sheamus bails before he can even get the title. This is one of the only times when I think a no contest would’ve been better. Because the referee would be so scared that he would run away. That’s the only way that this could’ve been better. Other than that, I thought this was awesome. Because Justin Roberts has also bailed so nobody is even there to announce Sheamus as the winner. The Nexus chase Sheamus to the back after Sheamus is officially given the WWE Title. The camera pans to the 3 losers of the match who all out. The show ends on Cena alone in the ring after the Nexus leave. And one cool thing I want to point out that I failed to at the start of this review is that the crowd were chanting “Daniel Bryan” at the beginning of the show, and they were chanting it again here at the end. “Daniel Bryan!” Which was pretty awesome that he was so over even then.
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.29
My Rating: 5.5/10
I was ready to give this a lower rating, but I really liked the way this show ended. Establishing The Nexus even further as a genuine threat that everyone should be worried about. That coupled with the awesome match between Bourne and Jericho and the World Title 4-Way, I think this show has some good things on it. But it also has to awful stuff on it. Matches that got too much time or matches that were just plain awful.
Taboo Tuesday 2005
Match 1: Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio def. Chris Masters & Snitsky (14:10)
Honestly, despite who the heel team is, I thought this was a pretty solid match. Now, originally supposed to be Masters and Edge against whoever the fans voted on, Edge just decides he’s not working today even though he took the time to get into his gear and gets Snitsky to replace him cause WWE hates their fans for some reason. Oh okay, so much for Matt getting some payback on Edge I guess. Snitsky and Masters work better as a team than I expected though and Rey and Matt were good enough to carry the match. Masters attacks Rey and Matt from behind as Snitsky’s music hits. Masters and Snitsky beat on Rey until he makes the tag to Matt. Hardy keeps both men at bay for a bit until he eats a big boot from Snitsky. And from here, Masters and Snitsky work over Matt and wear him down. Matt eventually makes the hot tag to Rey who flies around to turn the tide for his team. Rey and Matt dive off the top rope onto Masters and Snitsky outside. Snitsky throws Rey into Masters who puts Mysterio into the Masterlock. Rey manages to push Masters on his back by pushing off the corner with his legs. Matt has to save Rey with a legdrop to Masters. Matt drops Snitsky with a sick DDT and drops Masters into the middle rope. Rey hits Chris with the 619, Matt hits him with the Twist of Fate and Rey finishes it with a springboard splash halfway across the ring. Pretty decent match to start the show.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: Eugene & Jimmy Snuka def. Rob Conway & Tyson Tomko (6:20)
This would be the match that would get me not to tune into the PPV. If I were looking at a card and I saw this match, I’d be like “Maybe I won’t get the PPV.” Because remember that there was a time when you had to pay like $60 bucks for a PPV. And I wouldn’t pay to see this match. Like holy hell. This match sucked. I was so tuned out from this match that I almost shut it off. But alas, I gotta watch it…. I guess. Eugene is in the match for pretty much the whole time because Snuka just cannot go and was literally falling apart. Eugene eventually tags in Snuka, who does a couple headbutts. Eugene clotheslines Tomko over the ropes and Rock Bottoms Conway, leaving it up to Snuka to hit the Superfly Splash and win the match. Tomko jumps Eugene and Snuka after the match, but who would make the save? More old guys! Kamala and Duggan come down to help their fellow old man. I cannot roll my eyes any more.
My Rating: DUD
Match 3: Mankind def. Carlito (7:17)
Now I know I gave Snuka shit on the last match, but Mick Foley will never not be good to see. And he at least could still go… somehow. It’s a pretty average match though. Mankind gets all the classics in, but Carlito takes control after a dropkick that sends Mick back into the steel steps, head first. But after a double clothesline, Mankind begins to comeback and he lays into Carlito. He drops an elbow on Carlito outside, hits the double arm DDT and puts Mr. Socko down Carlito’s gullet.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 4: World Tag Team Championship Match - Kane & Big Show def. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (c) (7:48)
They announce that Shawn Michaels won the poll to be in the main event for the WWE Title, which meant it would be Kane and Big Show teaming up. Although this could’ve been Big Show and Shawn because Kane was surprisingly closer to winning than I thought he’d be. And they dominate this match. Kane and Big Show are entirely too much for Cade and Murdoch. They temporarily take control after Murdoch pushes Kane off the top rope to the floor, but when Kane tags in Big Show, it’s all over. Kane takes Murdoch out and then they throw Cade into the ropes only to catch him together for a double chokeslam. Yes, they threw him off the ropes just to double chokeslam him. Incredibly unnecessary. Anyway, Kane and Big Show win.
My Rating: **
Match 5: Street Fight - Batista def. Jonathan Coachman (4:24)
Coach has Goldust and Vader in his corner which is the most random pair of bodyguards I’ve ever seen. Surprise surprise, the fans chose the Street Fight over the verbal debate or the arm wrestling contest. Honestly part of me wants to see that verbal debate. I wonder how it would’ve fallen apart. Also surprise surprise, Goldust and Vader help Coach beat up Batista. But Batista isn’t down for long. He takes out Goldust and Vader before he turns to Coach, slaps the shit out of him and drops him with a Batista Bomb. 1, 2, 3. Let’s move on.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 6: Women's Championship Fulfill Your Fantasy Lingerie Battle Royal - Trish Stratus (c) def. Mickie James, Victoria, Ashley, Maria & Candice Michelle (6:19)
It’s time for the “look at our women” match. And I’ll admit, I do enjoy myself a woman. But this match sucks. It’s the same as every women’s battle royal. Throw them through the ropes. Maria is eliminated first, then Candice, then Ashley (R.I.P.). That leaves us with Trish, Mickie and Victoria. Victoria looks like she’s going to win. But Mickie tackles her through the ropes, causing both of them to fall to the floor. Trish wins and I’m not sure if she even eliminated anyone in the match. But Mickie was Trish’s biggest fan and as Todd Grisham tries to interview Trish, Mickie takes the mic and talks about how awesome Trish was.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 7: Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match - Ric Flair (c) def. Triple H (23:26)
Wow, this was awesome. This was so damn awesome. This was an old school bloody war in a cage. Surprise surprise, Ric Flair is bloodied up minutes into the match and Triple H really takes his time beating on his old friend. But Flair really made this match. He made everything HHH did look like the most painful thing ever. He bleeds like crazy in this match. HHH manages to grab a chain out from the top of the cage and beats the shit out of Flair with it. So much so that the referee takes it away from him despite there being no DQs. But HHH is so sure of his victory, he doesn’t give a shit. He even puts Flair in his own Figure 4. Flair sells it like crazy and flips off HHH in the hold. And as if it wasn’t bad enough, HHH gets even more aggressive. HHH goes to put the Figure 4 back on Flair. But Ric pushes HHH off before he can put it on, and HHH goes right into into the cage. Now it’s HHH’s turn to bleed. Now it’s Flair’s turn to dish out the pain! This feels like a match of 2 halves. HHH spent the first of it beating the piss out of Flair. And the second half, the roles are reversed. Flair goes after HHH’s legs and puts him in the Figure 4. Flair flips him off again. After a low blow to HHH’s balls, Flair tries to leave, but HHH recovers and drags Flair back in the ring, who drags a steel chair which happened to be there for some reason. HHH grabs the chair and goes to hit Flair with it, but Flair… grabs him by his nuts? Okay. Not what I would’ve done but it works. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Flair backdrops HHH over himself, grabs the chair and wails HHH in the head with it 3 times and then he leaves. The camera moves right in on his bloody face as he’s given back the IC Title. God this was so damn good.
My Rating: ****
Main Event: WWE Championship Triple Threat Match - John Cena (c) def. Kurt Angle & Shawn Michaels (16:45)
And then to end the night, we go out with a bang. A pretty exciting Triple Threat. Not really much story going into due to the circumstances, but they do mention that Kurt and Shawn were tied 1-1 and it could be settled if they were to beat the other. The beginning is fast paced with all 3 trying to get an advantage or an early pinfall. But then Kurt and Shawn unexpectedly start working together and they put Cena through the Spanish announce table with a double front suplex. That leaves us down to Kurt and Shawn for a few minutes and Angle hits Shawn with a huge OLYMPIC SLAM from the top rope. But Michaels kicks out of that. And then Cena comes back in and starts throwing clotheslines at both challengers. Angle throws Shawn over to the floor with a belly to belly. And then Cena starts giving his 2K comeback. He hits the 5 knuckle shuffle and picks Kurt up for an FU, but Angle reverses, sliding down Cena's back and applying the Ankle Lock. And Cena is in the hold for a while. He reaches for the rope. But Kurt just drags him back to the center and drops on his back, twisting Cena's ankle. But Shawn Michaels recovers, gets on the top rope and drops an elbow on Kurt to save the match. And then Michaels tunes up the band, and nails Angle with Sweet Chin Music, only for Cena to grab him and drop him with an FU to retain. Not as good as the Cage Match but a main event worthy match.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.29
My Rating: 5/10
For the most part, this show absolutely blows. Sure, most of the matches were short, but they were also ass. The last two matches (and in small part, the opener) are what saves this show. I thought PPV cards were supposed to get you to tune into the show, but if I had read this card, I wouldn't have paid a cent for it.
Match 1: Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio def. Chris Masters & Snitsky (14:10)
Honestly, despite who the heel team is, I thought this was a pretty solid match. Now, originally supposed to be Masters and Edge against whoever the fans voted on, Edge just decides he’s not working today even though he took the time to get into his gear and gets Snitsky to replace him cause WWE hates their fans for some reason. Oh okay, so much for Matt getting some payback on Edge I guess. Snitsky and Masters work better as a team than I expected though and Rey and Matt were good enough to carry the match. Masters attacks Rey and Matt from behind as Snitsky’s music hits. Masters and Snitsky beat on Rey until he makes the tag to Matt. Hardy keeps both men at bay for a bit until he eats a big boot from Snitsky. And from here, Masters and Snitsky work over Matt and wear him down. Matt eventually makes the hot tag to Rey who flies around to turn the tide for his team. Rey and Matt dive off the top rope onto Masters and Snitsky outside. Snitsky throws Rey into Masters who puts Mysterio into the Masterlock. Rey manages to push Masters on his back by pushing off the corner with his legs. Matt has to save Rey with a legdrop to Masters. Matt drops Snitsky with a sick DDT and drops Masters into the middle rope. Rey hits Chris with the 619, Matt hits him with the Twist of Fate and Rey finishes it with a springboard splash halfway across the ring. Pretty decent match to start the show.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: Eugene & Jimmy Snuka def. Rob Conway & Tyson Tomko (6:20)
This would be the match that would get me not to tune into the PPV. If I were looking at a card and I saw this match, I’d be like “Maybe I won’t get the PPV.” Because remember that there was a time when you had to pay like $60 bucks for a PPV. And I wouldn’t pay to see this match. Like holy hell. This match sucked. I was so tuned out from this match that I almost shut it off. But alas, I gotta watch it…. I guess. Eugene is in the match for pretty much the whole time because Snuka just cannot go and was literally falling apart. Eugene eventually tags in Snuka, who does a couple headbutts. Eugene clotheslines Tomko over the ropes and Rock Bottoms Conway, leaving it up to Snuka to hit the Superfly Splash and win the match. Tomko jumps Eugene and Snuka after the match, but who would make the save? More old guys! Kamala and Duggan come down to help their fellow old man. I cannot roll my eyes any more.
My Rating: DUD
Match 3: Mankind def. Carlito (7:17)
Now I know I gave Snuka shit on the last match, but Mick Foley will never not be good to see. And he at least could still go… somehow. It’s a pretty average match though. Mankind gets all the classics in, but Carlito takes control after a dropkick that sends Mick back into the steel steps, head first. But after a double clothesline, Mankind begins to comeback and he lays into Carlito. He drops an elbow on Carlito outside, hits the double arm DDT and puts Mr. Socko down Carlito’s gullet.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 4: World Tag Team Championship Match - Kane & Big Show def. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (c) (7:48)
They announce that Shawn Michaels won the poll to be in the main event for the WWE Title, which meant it would be Kane and Big Show teaming up. Although this could’ve been Big Show and Shawn because Kane was surprisingly closer to winning than I thought he’d be. And they dominate this match. Kane and Big Show are entirely too much for Cade and Murdoch. They temporarily take control after Murdoch pushes Kane off the top rope to the floor, but when Kane tags in Big Show, it’s all over. Kane takes Murdoch out and then they throw Cade into the ropes only to catch him together for a double chokeslam. Yes, they threw him off the ropes just to double chokeslam him. Incredibly unnecessary. Anyway, Kane and Big Show win.
My Rating: **
Match 5: Street Fight - Batista def. Jonathan Coachman (4:24)
Coach has Goldust and Vader in his corner which is the most random pair of bodyguards I’ve ever seen. Surprise surprise, the fans chose the Street Fight over the verbal debate or the arm wrestling contest. Honestly part of me wants to see that verbal debate. I wonder how it would’ve fallen apart. Also surprise surprise, Goldust and Vader help Coach beat up Batista. But Batista isn’t down for long. He takes out Goldust and Vader before he turns to Coach, slaps the shit out of him and drops him with a Batista Bomb. 1, 2, 3. Let’s move on.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 6: Women's Championship Fulfill Your Fantasy Lingerie Battle Royal - Trish Stratus (c) def. Mickie James, Victoria, Ashley, Maria & Candice Michelle (6:19)
It’s time for the “look at our women” match. And I’ll admit, I do enjoy myself a woman. But this match sucks. It’s the same as every women’s battle royal. Throw them through the ropes. Maria is eliminated first, then Candice, then Ashley (R.I.P.). That leaves us with Trish, Mickie and Victoria. Victoria looks like she’s going to win. But Mickie tackles her through the ropes, causing both of them to fall to the floor. Trish wins and I’m not sure if she even eliminated anyone in the match. But Mickie was Trish’s biggest fan and as Todd Grisham tries to interview Trish, Mickie takes the mic and talks about how awesome Trish was.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 7: Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match - Ric Flair (c) def. Triple H (23:26)
Wow, this was awesome. This was so damn awesome. This was an old school bloody war in a cage. Surprise surprise, Ric Flair is bloodied up minutes into the match and Triple H really takes his time beating on his old friend. But Flair really made this match. He made everything HHH did look like the most painful thing ever. He bleeds like crazy in this match. HHH manages to grab a chain out from the top of the cage and beats the shit out of Flair with it. So much so that the referee takes it away from him despite there being no DQs. But HHH is so sure of his victory, he doesn’t give a shit. He even puts Flair in his own Figure 4. Flair sells it like crazy and flips off HHH in the hold. And as if it wasn’t bad enough, HHH gets even more aggressive. HHH goes to put the Figure 4 back on Flair. But Ric pushes HHH off before he can put it on, and HHH goes right into into the cage. Now it’s HHH’s turn to bleed. Now it’s Flair’s turn to dish out the pain! This feels like a match of 2 halves. HHH spent the first of it beating the piss out of Flair. And the second half, the roles are reversed. Flair goes after HHH’s legs and puts him in the Figure 4. Flair flips him off again. After a low blow to HHH’s balls, Flair tries to leave, but HHH recovers and drags Flair back in the ring, who drags a steel chair which happened to be there for some reason. HHH grabs the chair and goes to hit Flair with it, but Flair… grabs him by his nuts? Okay. Not what I would’ve done but it works. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Flair backdrops HHH over himself, grabs the chair and wails HHH in the head with it 3 times and then he leaves. The camera moves right in on his bloody face as he’s given back the IC Title. God this was so damn good.
My Rating: ****
Main Event: WWE Championship Triple Threat Match - John Cena (c) def. Kurt Angle & Shawn Michaels (16:45)
And then to end the night, we go out with a bang. A pretty exciting Triple Threat. Not really much story going into due to the circumstances, but they do mention that Kurt and Shawn were tied 1-1 and it could be settled if they were to beat the other. The beginning is fast paced with all 3 trying to get an advantage or an early pinfall. But then Kurt and Shawn unexpectedly start working together and they put Cena through the Spanish announce table with a double front suplex. That leaves us down to Kurt and Shawn for a few minutes and Angle hits Shawn with a huge OLYMPIC SLAM from the top rope. But Michaels kicks out of that. And then Cena comes back in and starts throwing clotheslines at both challengers. Angle throws Shawn over to the floor with a belly to belly. And then Cena starts giving his 2K comeback. He hits the 5 knuckle shuffle and picks Kurt up for an FU, but Angle reverses, sliding down Cena's back and applying the Ankle Lock. And Cena is in the hold for a while. He reaches for the rope. But Kurt just drags him back to the center and drops on his back, twisting Cena's ankle. But Shawn Michaels recovers, gets on the top rope and drops an elbow on Kurt to save the match. And then Michaels tunes up the band, and nails Angle with Sweet Chin Music, only for Cena to grab him and drop him with an FU to retain. Not as good as the Cage Match but a main event worthy match.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.29
My Rating: 5/10
For the most part, this show absolutely blows. Sure, most of the matches were short, but they were also ass. The last two matches (and in small part, the opener) are what saves this show. I thought PPV cards were supposed to get you to tune into the show, but if I had read this card, I wouldn't have paid a cent for it.
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For the second year in a row, Shawn Michaels is a choice for the main event title match and for the second year in a row he's chosen because his opponents are nowhere near as popular as him. This was also the second year in a row that Ric Flair was in a "Fans Choose the Stipulation" match and for the second year in a row it's a cage match that is chosen. But this makes more sense than the year before when he faced Orton because a Cage Match is Flair's specialty and this time he's a babyface. The year before he was a heel so it doesn't make much sense why the fans would want the heel to seemingly have the advantage. Of course, Randy Orton wasn't a great babyface in 2004.
With Eugene's partner, I get that Snuka was very beloved, but Duggan probably would have been a better choice. I think he could go better. Kamala being an option makes no sense whatsoever. Goldust and Vader's involvement as Coach's bodyguards also make no sense whatsoever.
With Eugene's partner, I get that Snuka was very beloved, but Duggan probably would have been a better choice. I think he could go better. Kamala being an option makes no sense whatsoever. Goldust and Vader's involvement as Coach's bodyguards also make no sense whatsoever.
Honestly I think as far as the cage match for Flair and Orton, fans just be choosing whatever they wanna see. I don’t think there's much thought that goes into it lol.
I think WWE really made the choices for this show more easy, so that it would favor the stipulation they wanted. They wanted Batista to face Jericho and Edge to face HHH in 2004. But they both lost their polls so that kinda threw a wrench in their plans.
Elimination Chamber 2010
Match 1: WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match - John Cena def. Sheamus (c), Triple H, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston & Ted DiBiase (30:25)
A pretty decent Chamber Match to start the night. It loses points for the anticlimactic final few minutes but I can’t complain too much. Interesting fun fact though, this was the first Chamber Match ever where all 6 were in the match at the same time. The match starts with Sheamus and Kofi and they get the match to a good start. Sheamus waits in the ring for the 3rd entrant which was Triple H. HHH steps out and gets in Sheamus' face. Kofi still gets good shots in despite who he's in the ring with. Not much to say about this match until entrant 4, Randy Orton. And Orton is the MVP of this match. He wastes absolutely zero time when his pod opens. He stomps a mud hole in everyone's ass and walks it dry. You could tell the face turn was coming. And for the time between his entrance and the next, nobody can touch him. He's got everybody's number tonight. This man was like Goku fighting the Ginyu Force. Sheamus finally manages to slow Orton down. But then Ted DiBiase comes out and him and Orton start working together. Orton shoves Kofi's head through the bars of chains and chokes him which was insane actually. And then Orton takes the brutality further with a DDT to HHH on the steel grating. And then Orton and DiBiase walk over, standing right in front of Cena's pod. Cena readies himself to fight. And fight he does. He takes on Orton and DiBiase both. Orton eventually snuffs Cena’s fight out and sets up for an RKO. But Cody Rhodes runs down and slides a lead pipe into the Chamber, yelling for Randy, who just ignores Cody. So Ted grabs the pipe as Cena recovers and picks Orton up in an AA position. DiBiase goes to swing at Cena, who simply turns right and DiBiase hits Orton instead, and then allows Cena to drop Orton with the AA. DiBiase hits Cena in the gut with the pipe. But then DiBiase realizes Orton’s out and opts to pin and eliminate him. Orton was the Kurt Angle of this Chamber Match I guess. Kill everyone in the match and is still the first guy out. But then the eliminations start happening more quickly. DiBiase is eliminated a couple minutes later by Kofi. And then Kofi is eliminated by Sheamus after a nice Brogue Kick and a Razor’s Edge. Sheamus beats up Cena for a bit before he sets him up for the Razor’s Edge too. But Triple H comes back in, low blows Sheamus, hits him with a Pedigree and eliminates him. And Cena, seeing HHH down on the mat, takes advantage and puts him in the STF and HHH after a minute or so of being in the hold, taps out. Cena wins… Rather easily actually.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 2: WWE Championship Match - Batista def. John Cena (c) (0:30)
But after the match, after Cena’s been awarded the title, Vince McMahon’s music hits and I boo at the screen. Vince congratulates Cena on winning and going to WrestleMania. So long as he can defeat… Batista. Batista’s music hits and he marches towards the ring and not that this is exactly fair, but the commentary is talking like Cena went through hell in that Chamber Match. The dude came out last and out of everyone in the match, he definitely had it best in terms of who took the biggest beating. Cena gets in one punch and then Batista spears him, Batista Bomb and Batista is the champ. Maybe I would’ve felt worse for Cena if he started the chamber instead of having the easiest spot to win from, but that’s just me.
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship Match - Drew McIntyre (c) def. Kane (10:20)
A pretty TV match. I was so not into this match. Teaming with Daniel Bryan saved Kane’s career honestly, he was just not interesting after a certain point. I liked Drew’s strategy of targeting two different parts of the body. He went after Kane’s arm and knee, which isn’t bad strategy. Drew lands horrible outside the ring as Kane dumps him over trying to escape an armlock. Of course, Kane starts to make a comeback, but you know how this goes. Drew gets to the point where he tries to leave, but Kane goes out to get him and just brings him back to the ring. The referee tries to get between the two, but Drew takes advantage of that, pokes Kane in the eye and hits him with the Future Shock DDT to retain, remaining undefeated.
My Rating: **
Match 4: LayCool def. Gail Kim & Maryse (3:45)
So what was originally supposed to be a tournament final between Gail and Maryse for the Divas Title, Vickie Guerrero comes out and decides to just change the card and completely fuck that up, and makes this a tag match with the two of them against LayCool. Now what I don’t understand is why? What was the point of doing this? I’m not angry, I’m just confused. Because who does this benefit? Certainly not anyone in the match because this sucked. Kim is the one in the ring the whole match pretty much. She tries to tag in Maryse at the end, but Maryse says “Nuh uh.” And Gail is kicked in the face by Michelle, who hits her with the Styles Clash and wins the match. And then after the match, Maryse gives Gail a French Kiss DDT. Still confused as to what the point of this was but whatever.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 5: United States Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. MVP (13:00)
And now for the 3rd impromptu match of the night, because fuck schedules I guess. I don’t think this was bad. But it was just mostly boring throughout the match. But thankfully, it has some stuff that I thought was cool at the very least. For the most part, Miz wears down MVP, MVP begins making a comeback, you know how it goes. It’s important to note that Miz’s partner, Big Show and MVP’s partner, Mark Henry were at ringside for this match. Miz pulls a Shibata and busts himself open with a headbutt which was kinda sick. And this must be before they really enforced stopping the match for blood because they’re not worried about it until after the match. Big Show pulls Miz out of the ring and Mark Henry rushes over to fight Show. Henry tries to spear Big Show, who dodges, causing Henry to bowl through the barricade. Behind the referee’s back, Big Show KO’s MVP, allowing Miz to retain his title.
My Rating: **1/2
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match - Chris Jericho def. The Undertaker (c), Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, CM Punk & R-Truth (35:35)
Not the greatest Chamber Match, but I thought this was fun to watch. It was a nice mix of brutality, athleticism and good wrestling, which was odd. The match starts with CM Punk and R-Truth. Truth is eliminated a few minutes into the match and Punk cuts a promo before the 3rd man enters. That 3rd man is Rey Mysterio, who, as he always seems to in these kinds of matches, gets his ass kicked the whole time he’s in it. Punk and Mysterio work well together and Punk swings Rey into the Chamber wall and tosses him into the pod he came out of. But Rey hurricanranas Punk from the top rope to the grating outside, and then drops a Splash on Punk, who rolled back in the ring to eliminate him. Rey doesn’t have long to wait until Chris Jericho comes out of his pod. And I watched their Bash match recently, so I know what they can do. They have a good small match between each other until Morrison comes out and it becomes a triple threat for the time being. Rey tries to hit Morrison with a hurricanrana from the ropes, but Morrison hangs on to the top and hits Starship Pain to eliminate Mysterio. Jericho puts Morrison in the Walls of Jericho and soon the countdown until Undertaker comes out of his pod begins. And I love how Undertaker punches the glass as they countdown from 10, as if he’s itching to beat someone’s ass. A Chamber Match with only 3 people left at the end sounds boring. But I thought this was a great final stretch. I also like that Morrison was among the final 3 with Chris Jericho and (checks notes) THE Undertaker of all people. It meant they at one point saw him as a serious potential main eventer. Morrison could’ve been a WWE Champion and that’s a hill I’ll die on. Undertaker of course establishes his dominance until Jericho and Morrison work together and clothesline him over the ropes onto the grate. Jericho takes Morrison out and goes outside to slap Taker, which why would you do that? Jericho tries to escape into a pod, but Undertaker forces the door open and unloads on Jericho. I loved how Undertaker throws Morrison into the pod that Jericho was holding up in. Undertaker goes for the Last Ride on the outside, but Jericho tackles him, allowing Morrison to stick the chained wall. Morrison dives onto Jericho. Back in the ring, Morrison goes for the springboard kick, but gets caught by the throat by Undertaker, who chokeslams Morrison onto the grate, drags him back in the ring and pins him to leave it down to himself and Jericho. And Jericho actually looks to have Undertaker’s number despite having been in the match longer. Jericho holds his own and takes the fight to Undertaker. Jericho hits a superplex, reverses a chokeslam and puts Undertaker into position for the Walls of Jericho. Undertaker escapes by rolling over and puts Jericho in the Hell’s Gate. Jericho reaches the ropes and rolls out of the ring. Undertaker grabs Jericho and picks him up on his shoulder, but Jericho slides down the back and hits Undertaker with a Codebreaker. Taker kicks out and hits Jericho with a Last Ride. It looks like he has this in the bag. But Shawn Michaels pops out, removing one of the grates. He gets in the ring and drops Undertaker with a Superkick. And after Jericho has gotten over the shock, he pins Taker and takes home the World Title as Shawn looks down on the Deadman.
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.30
My Rating: 5.5/10
Not a great show. Both Chamber Matches were enjoyable enough, but everything in between bored me to tears. And all of that was just in the second hour. Only an hour passes between after Batista beats Cena and when the second chamber match begins and yet it felt like a couple. It was sooooo boring. Of course, that ending gives this show some points because it led to the epic rematch between Taker and Michaels.
Match 1: WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match - John Cena def. Sheamus (c), Triple H, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston & Ted DiBiase (30:25)
A pretty decent Chamber Match to start the night. It loses points for the anticlimactic final few minutes but I can’t complain too much. Interesting fun fact though, this was the first Chamber Match ever where all 6 were in the match at the same time. The match starts with Sheamus and Kofi and they get the match to a good start. Sheamus waits in the ring for the 3rd entrant which was Triple H. HHH steps out and gets in Sheamus' face. Kofi still gets good shots in despite who he's in the ring with. Not much to say about this match until entrant 4, Randy Orton. And Orton is the MVP of this match. He wastes absolutely zero time when his pod opens. He stomps a mud hole in everyone's ass and walks it dry. You could tell the face turn was coming. And for the time between his entrance and the next, nobody can touch him. He's got everybody's number tonight. This man was like Goku fighting the Ginyu Force. Sheamus finally manages to slow Orton down. But then Ted DiBiase comes out and him and Orton start working together. Orton shoves Kofi's head through the bars of chains and chokes him which was insane actually. And then Orton takes the brutality further with a DDT to HHH on the steel grating. And then Orton and DiBiase walk over, standing right in front of Cena's pod. Cena readies himself to fight. And fight he does. He takes on Orton and DiBiase both. Orton eventually snuffs Cena’s fight out and sets up for an RKO. But Cody Rhodes runs down and slides a lead pipe into the Chamber, yelling for Randy, who just ignores Cody. So Ted grabs the pipe as Cena recovers and picks Orton up in an AA position. DiBiase goes to swing at Cena, who simply turns right and DiBiase hits Orton instead, and then allows Cena to drop Orton with the AA. DiBiase hits Cena in the gut with the pipe. But then DiBiase realizes Orton’s out and opts to pin and eliminate him. Orton was the Kurt Angle of this Chamber Match I guess. Kill everyone in the match and is still the first guy out. But then the eliminations start happening more quickly. DiBiase is eliminated a couple minutes later by Kofi. And then Kofi is eliminated by Sheamus after a nice Brogue Kick and a Razor’s Edge. Sheamus beats up Cena for a bit before he sets him up for the Razor’s Edge too. But Triple H comes back in, low blows Sheamus, hits him with a Pedigree and eliminates him. And Cena, seeing HHH down on the mat, takes advantage and puts him in the STF and HHH after a minute or so of being in the hold, taps out. Cena wins… Rather easily actually.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 2: WWE Championship Match - Batista def. John Cena (c) (0:30)
But after the match, after Cena’s been awarded the title, Vince McMahon’s music hits and I boo at the screen. Vince congratulates Cena on winning and going to WrestleMania. So long as he can defeat… Batista. Batista’s music hits and he marches towards the ring and not that this is exactly fair, but the commentary is talking like Cena went through hell in that Chamber Match. The dude came out last and out of everyone in the match, he definitely had it best in terms of who took the biggest beating. Cena gets in one punch and then Batista spears him, Batista Bomb and Batista is the champ. Maybe I would’ve felt worse for Cena if he started the chamber instead of having the easiest spot to win from, but that’s just me.
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship Match - Drew McIntyre (c) def. Kane (10:20)
A pretty TV match. I was so not into this match. Teaming with Daniel Bryan saved Kane’s career honestly, he was just not interesting after a certain point. I liked Drew’s strategy of targeting two different parts of the body. He went after Kane’s arm and knee, which isn’t bad strategy. Drew lands horrible outside the ring as Kane dumps him over trying to escape an armlock. Of course, Kane starts to make a comeback, but you know how this goes. Drew gets to the point where he tries to leave, but Kane goes out to get him and just brings him back to the ring. The referee tries to get between the two, but Drew takes advantage of that, pokes Kane in the eye and hits him with the Future Shock DDT to retain, remaining undefeated.
My Rating: **
Match 4: LayCool def. Gail Kim & Maryse (3:45)
So what was originally supposed to be a tournament final between Gail and Maryse for the Divas Title, Vickie Guerrero comes out and decides to just change the card and completely fuck that up, and makes this a tag match with the two of them against LayCool. Now what I don’t understand is why? What was the point of doing this? I’m not angry, I’m just confused. Because who does this benefit? Certainly not anyone in the match because this sucked. Kim is the one in the ring the whole match pretty much. She tries to tag in Maryse at the end, but Maryse says “Nuh uh.” And Gail is kicked in the face by Michelle, who hits her with the Styles Clash and wins the match. And then after the match, Maryse gives Gail a French Kiss DDT. Still confused as to what the point of this was but whatever.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 5: United States Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. MVP (13:00)
And now for the 3rd impromptu match of the night, because fuck schedules I guess. I don’t think this was bad. But it was just mostly boring throughout the match. But thankfully, it has some stuff that I thought was cool at the very least. For the most part, Miz wears down MVP, MVP begins making a comeback, you know how it goes. It’s important to note that Miz’s partner, Big Show and MVP’s partner, Mark Henry were at ringside for this match. Miz pulls a Shibata and busts himself open with a headbutt which was kinda sick. And this must be before they really enforced stopping the match for blood because they’re not worried about it until after the match. Big Show pulls Miz out of the ring and Mark Henry rushes over to fight Show. Henry tries to spear Big Show, who dodges, causing Henry to bowl through the barricade. Behind the referee’s back, Big Show KO’s MVP, allowing Miz to retain his title.
My Rating: **1/2
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match - Chris Jericho def. The Undertaker (c), Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, CM Punk & R-Truth (35:35)
Not the greatest Chamber Match, but I thought this was fun to watch. It was a nice mix of brutality, athleticism and good wrestling, which was odd. The match starts with CM Punk and R-Truth. Truth is eliminated a few minutes into the match and Punk cuts a promo before the 3rd man enters. That 3rd man is Rey Mysterio, who, as he always seems to in these kinds of matches, gets his ass kicked the whole time he’s in it. Punk and Mysterio work well together and Punk swings Rey into the Chamber wall and tosses him into the pod he came out of. But Rey hurricanranas Punk from the top rope to the grating outside, and then drops a Splash on Punk, who rolled back in the ring to eliminate him. Rey doesn’t have long to wait until Chris Jericho comes out of his pod. And I watched their Bash match recently, so I know what they can do. They have a good small match between each other until Morrison comes out and it becomes a triple threat for the time being. Rey tries to hit Morrison with a hurricanrana from the ropes, but Morrison hangs on to the top and hits Starship Pain to eliminate Mysterio. Jericho puts Morrison in the Walls of Jericho and soon the countdown until Undertaker comes out of his pod begins. And I love how Undertaker punches the glass as they countdown from 10, as if he’s itching to beat someone’s ass. A Chamber Match with only 3 people left at the end sounds boring. But I thought this was a great final stretch. I also like that Morrison was among the final 3 with Chris Jericho and (checks notes) THE Undertaker of all people. It meant they at one point saw him as a serious potential main eventer. Morrison could’ve been a WWE Champion and that’s a hill I’ll die on. Undertaker of course establishes his dominance until Jericho and Morrison work together and clothesline him over the ropes onto the grate. Jericho takes Morrison out and goes outside to slap Taker, which why would you do that? Jericho tries to escape into a pod, but Undertaker forces the door open and unloads on Jericho. I loved how Undertaker throws Morrison into the pod that Jericho was holding up in. Undertaker goes for the Last Ride on the outside, but Jericho tackles him, allowing Morrison to stick the chained wall. Morrison dives onto Jericho. Back in the ring, Morrison goes for the springboard kick, but gets caught by the throat by Undertaker, who chokeslams Morrison onto the grate, drags him back in the ring and pins him to leave it down to himself and Jericho. And Jericho actually looks to have Undertaker’s number despite having been in the match longer. Jericho holds his own and takes the fight to Undertaker. Jericho hits a superplex, reverses a chokeslam and puts Undertaker into position for the Walls of Jericho. Undertaker escapes by rolling over and puts Jericho in the Hell’s Gate. Jericho reaches the ropes and rolls out of the ring. Undertaker grabs Jericho and picks him up on his shoulder, but Jericho slides down the back and hits Undertaker with a Codebreaker. Taker kicks out and hits Jericho with a Last Ride. It looks like he has this in the bag. But Shawn Michaels pops out, removing one of the grates. He gets in the ring and drops Undertaker with a Superkick. And after Jericho has gotten over the shock, he pins Taker and takes home the World Title as Shawn looks down on the Deadman.
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.30
My Rating: 5.5/10
Not a great show. Both Chamber Matches were enjoyable enough, but everything in between bored me to tears. And all of that was just in the second hour. Only an hour passes between after Batista beats Cena and when the second chamber match begins and yet it felt like a couple. It was sooooo boring. Of course, that ending gives this show some points because it led to the epic rematch between Taker and Michaels.