Hell in a Cell 2011
Match 1: Sheamus def. Christian (13:41)
Not a banger, but a decent way to start the show. I thought these two worked well together. I think Sheamus was still trying to find himself as a babyface. Before Sheamus even comes out, Miz and R-Truth walk through the crowd and are thrown out even though they have tickets. At this point, they were fired I think. Sheamus starts the match just beating on Christian. But Christian gets the upper hand after shoving Sheamus off the top rope to the floor. This portion of the match isn’t anything special. Sheamus starts to come back into the match and the pace begins to pick up. From here, the match is pretty even. The final few minutes of the match is where it starts to get good. Christian rolls to the outside and Sheamus goes out after him, and eats a Spear for his trouble. Christian then rolls back in the ring and tells the referee to count Sheamus out. But Sheamus makes it back in at 9, and then gets another Spear from Christian. But Sheamus kicks out of this. Christian then gets the idea to go up top and attempt a diving headbutt. But Sheamus moves out of the way of it. Sheamus picks up Christian for the Razor’s Edge, but Christian slides off and tries a Killswitch. Sheamus shoves Christian off. Christian goes to Spear Sheamus in the corner, but Sheamus moves and Christian’s shoulder hits the ring post. Sheamus runs off the ropes and when Christian turns around, he’s hit with the Brogue Kick. 1, 2, 3. Sheamus wins.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 2: Sin Cara Azul def. Sin Cara Negro (9:45)
This match got crushed on Cagematch. And I think it’s more because this storyline was goofy. But honestly, I thought this match was okay. Even if OG Sin Cara is a botch machine. It’s pretty back and forth. They actually manage to work smoothly at first. Sin Cara Azul has a hold of Sin Cara Negro’s arm and flips back off the ropes to arm drag Negro out of the ring. And then he dives out of the ring onto Negro. Azul goes for a moonsault off the middle ropes to Negro, who was nowhere near where Azul was gonna land anyway. I was wondering when the first botch was gonna happen. Negro then does a dive over the ropes himself. The other comes later when Azul tries to flip into the ropes again, but instead of handspringing back onto his feet, he lands on his chest. “This match was recorded twice, look out, here comes the Sin Cara.” As the match goes on, Negro ends up back on the floor and Azul bounces off the ropes over and onto Negro outside. Azul eventually picks up the win after a yoshi-tonic into a 1, 2, 3.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 3: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - AirBoom (c) def. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger (11:18)
A decent match for what it is. Bourne and Kingston were a fine tag team. Obviously, they’d be the ones flying around the ring. Bourne and Kingston start off hot, but then Ziggler and Swagger slow down Evan Bourne and begin grounding him. But Bourne manages to make a tag pretty quickly to Kofi and Kofi dodges a clothesline from Ziggler, and just falls through the middle rope. I thought that he had fucked up. But as it turns out, Swagger, had spread the top and middle rope, causing Kofi to fall out and land on his head, which looked like it hurt. Then Dolph and Jack start to keep Kofi away from his corner. Kofi gets put in the Ankle Lock by Swagger, but Kofi rolls through and makes the hot tag to Bourne while Swagger tags in Dolph. Bourne turns the match in his team’s favor. Swagger gets tagged back in and Swagger gets Bourne in the Ankle Lock. It looks like Bourne might tap, but Kofi crossbodys Jack, making the save. But then Kofi receives a Zig Zag. Dolph and Swagger go to finish off Bourne. Swagger climbs the middle rope and tells Dolph to left him onto his shoulders. Dolph helps Jack put Bourne in a powerbomb position, but Bourne reverses it into a frankensteiner. Kofi pulls Dolph out of the ring as Bourne pins Swagger to retain the Tag Titles.
My Rating: ***
Match 4: World Heavyweight Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Mark Henry (c) def. Randy Orton (15:58)
Gotta say, probably one of my least favorite Hell in a Cell Matches. There was absolutely nothing interesting about this match. This feud did not need to be in Hell in a Cell. It’s one of the reasons I hate this PPV concept. Can’t wait for Punk and Drew to bring some legitimacy back to this match. Orton tries to surprise Henry and brings the fight to him early. He puts up more of a fight here than he did in their Night of Champions match. But this was Mark Henry’s time. Henry dominates much of the match but he doesn’t really do much outside of throwing Orton into the cage and grinding his face against it. He did throw the steel steps at Randy’s head at one point, but Randy dodges. I pretty much just summed up about the first 11 minutes of the match. So Henry goes to hit WSS (World’s Strongest Slam) on the steps outside. But Orton grabs onto the cage and kicks at Henry from above. He drops Henry with a DDT on the steps. Orton even hits the draping DDT in the ring. And then when Henry recovers, Orton gives him an RKO for a 2 count. So the RKO didn’t work. So Orton decides to try the Punt Kick. But Henry gets up, scoops Orton up and drops him with the WSS to retain. Then after the match, Henry tries to Pillmanize Orton’s leg, but Orton moves his leg and starts wailing on Mark with the steel chair. Henry kicks Orton in the gut and it ends with Henry running away from Orton. What? Why? Well, doesn’t that just contradict how you’ve booked him for months. Consistency is all I ask for. Fucking jeez.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Cody Rhodes (c) def. John Morrison (7:20)
Cody comes out holding the Intercontinental Title. The one that started in 1998. The best IC Title design and that’s a hill I’ll die on. And he brings out the original IC Title, you know the one. The one with the white straps. Also a great design. But it’s not better than the one he just threw away. Man, remember when all the titles had a unique design and didn’t look the same. That was pretty cool. Then John Laryngitis comes out and tells Cody that he has to defend the IC Title, per orders of Triple H, unprepared and in street clothes against John Morrison. A pretty good, competitive match to be honest. It’s a shame Michael Cole wouldn’t stop bitching the whole time. Morrison floors Cody early, not even letting him get his buttoned up shirt off first. Cody eventually gets his shirt off and once he gets Morrison down on the floor. He starts hugging the ring post and telling the referee to count him out. One good kick to the back gets Cody off the post. Cody gets back in the ring first and Morrison follows after him, just to get knocked back down by Cody. And now Cody begins to ground Morrison. But then Morrison starts to comeback. But he tries to bounce off the middle rope and kick Cody, but Cody ducks and Morrison hits the canvas. Cody takes advantage, rolling up on his back for the 3 count. Cody retains in casual attire.
My Rating: ***
Then after that we get a backstage segment where Laryngitis lets HHH know that The Miz and R-Truth have made it back in the building and are beating up talent. They get thrown out again.
Match 6: Divas Championship Match - Beth Phoenix def. Kelly Kelly (c) (8:30)
The fact it took Beth Phoenix 3 tries to beat Kelly Kelly is kinda upsetting. But this match sort of makes up for it. Because this is a squash match. A prolonged squash match. But a squash match nonetheless. That’s not to say that Kelly doesn’t get any shots in at all, but the few she does get in, pretty much make no difference. It feels to me, like maybe Beth underestimated Kelly in their first two matches, and once she started taking Kelly seriously, she absolutely floored her. Beth dominates the first half of the match. Kelly makes a very brief comeback and covers Beth after a bulldog. Beth kicks out and then Natalya, who I think missed her cue, gets up on the apron and starts yelling at the referee. But Eve Torres comes over and yanks her off the apron. But Nattie chucks Eve into the barricade while in the ring, Beth puts Kelly in a modified version of the surfboard and Natalya grabs a microphone, telling Kelly to scream. And boy does she scream. Nattie puts the mic up to Kelly’s face so everyone can hear her loud and clear. Kelly escapes the hold by grabbing the ropes. And while the referee backs Beth up, Nattie hits Kelly in the head with the mic pretty much knocking her out cold. Not sure how the referee didn’t hear that, but whatever. Beth doesn’t even need to hit the Glam Slam at this point because Kelly is out. But Beth does anyway and pins her to win the Divas Title.
My Rating: **1/4
Main Event: WWE Championship Triple Threat Hell in a Cell Match - Alberto Del Rio def. John Cena (c) & CM Punk (24:08)
Another match that doesn’t feel like it belongs in the cell, but they at least made good use of it, and still had a really great match to boot. It feels like all 3 had a different strategy gameplan coming in. Del Rio decided he’d get violent in the cell. Punk was the one coming up with spots. And Cena was just like (puts hands up). I like that both Punk and Cena both went after Del Rio together at first, as I would too. There’s a few standout spots too with Cena picking up Del Rio on the outside and Punk dives onto them through the middle rope. Punk sets up a table outside the ring that he’s going through later. Spoilers. He tries to put Cena through it first, it looks like he’s gonna give him a bulldog off the apron. Del Rio brings a steel chair into the ring to use against Cena. And then sets up before dropping Cena’s back over it. It follows a usual Triple Threat formula with 2 people in the ring for the most part, but they all worked pretty well together. Punk mainly. Cena picks Punk up for an AA, and Del Rio comes in with a steel chair. Bashes both men with it. Punk gets left alone with Cena again and gets picked up again and dropped with an AA. Cena covers Punk, but Del Rio makes the save. Del Rio and Cena go at it now, and Del Rio tries to slap on the Cross Armbreaker, but Punk stops that from happening and hits Cena with a GTS. But as he goes for the cover, he gets pulled out by Del Rio and flung into the Cell. Del Rio tries to take advantage of Cena, who rolls him up in a small package. Del Rio kicks out and throws Cena outside before throwing him into the Cell too. Punk comes back in and hits his 2K Comeback and drops an elbow on Del Rio. Cena comes back and goes at it with Punk for a bit. Punk gets Cena down too now and climbs the top rope, but Del Rio comes up and shoves him off, sending Punk through the table he had set up earlier. Del Rio tries to take advantage of Cena, but Cena drop toe holds Del Rio to the mat and gets in to the STF. Ricardo Rodriguez knocks the referee outside the cell out and grabs the key off him that unlocks the padlock and throws a steel pipe in to Del Rio. Cena knocks Ricardo to the floor and drops him with an AA to the outside of the Cell. But then Del Rio hits Cena in the gut with the pipe. He grabs the key and with it he relocks the Cell from the inside before tossing the key under the ring. He then grabs Punk and throws him back in the ring. I gotta say, this was a brilliant strategy. Now it’s basically one on one because when Cena does recover, he can’t get back in the cage. Punk and Del Rio have a small match as Cena tries to get back in the Cell. Punk sends Del Rio out of the ring. But Del Rio sees the pipe on the floor and hits Punk in the head with it. And then he taunts Cena on the outside. He gets back in the ring, takes a swing at Punk, who lifts Del Rio up for the GTS. But Del Rio hits Punk again with the pipe before hitting him in the head one more time to win the title. This was a great match. I’d say it’s only problem was the fact it was very formulaic. It feels extremely planned (which it probably was). Oh, and the fact that Del Rio won. Fuck you.
My Rating: ****
So after the match is over, the Cell begins to raise. And Cena immediately runs into to get at Del Rio. But then pretty much immediately after that, 2 Solo Sikoas… Wait. (Checks notes). Miz and R-Truth come out in black hoodies and start beating up the referee, Cena, Del Rio, Punk, the camera men, whoever gets in their way. And then, confusingly, they just lower the Cell again? And it remains lowered until someone comes out with a pair of bolt cutters. Like, I’m sorry, is there a reason we can’t raise the cage? I’m confused. Is there a storyline reason for that, or is it just lazy writing. That would unironically make a great wrestling game show honestly. By the time, they get the cage open, you have the entire roster, the national guard, Miz’s mother and Truth’s grandmother, your Uncle Fred, and the fucking Avengers out there. Good lord. So Miz and Truth get arrested and Triple H says “nuh uh” and starts throwing hands. And that’s how the show ends.
Cagematch Rating: 6.34
My Rating: 6.5/10
I’ll give it this, I at least didn’t have to see any outright terrible matches. No match on this card was so bad that it made me question my love for wrestling. The show is average, but that’s the main problem. It’s average and remains average until the last match. Certainly not worth shilling out 50 bucks for. Especially since this show only takes place 2 weeks after the last PPV that you wanted people to shill out 50 bucks for. Yeah, there’s a 2 week gap between this and Night of Champions. Last match was good at least.