Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Jarf]

Money in the Bank 2019

Match 1: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Bayley def. Mandy Rose, Ember Moon, Natalya, Naomi, Carmella, Nikki Cross & Dana Brooke (13:51)

This is awkward. The last Money in the Bank, I expressed how I thought about the women’s Ladder Match on that show. I don’t think this one was that great either. Matter of fact, its worse at times. It does have its enjoyable moments though. I love Nikki Cross being a crazy bitch. She does the spot where she wraps the ladder around her head and spins around. At one point in the match, Mandy Rose kicks a ladder into Carmella’s knee and it looked here like Carmella was legitimately hurt and they take her to the back. I won’t lie, I got worked. Because Mandy went to continue attacking her, but Carmella shoves her away and says “back off!” Like she’s legit pissed. I thought she was actually hurt. Naomi shows her flexibility, she winds up between 4 women each holding both ends of 2 different ladders. They go to sandwich her, and Naomi splits between them, so they crash into each other instead. Out of all the women in this match to end doing this spot, it wasn’t Dana Brooke, but she winds up being pushed off her side of the ladder while clinging to the briefcase so she’s literally hanging in there! There’s 4 different women one ladder at one point and Nattie pushes the ladder over, sending them to the ground. But behind her, Ember Moon gets on a ladder standing on the outside of the ring and hits Nattie with an Eclipse! The crowd pops huge for that. Moon goes to climb the ladder, but Mandy Rose pushes the ladder over and starts to climb it herself. But Carmella comes back out, on a limp knee, walking very slowly. But Mandy Rose, sees her and instead of climbing the ladder to grab the briefcase before she gets there, climbs back down, gets out of the ring and tries to attack her, only to get laid out on her back. Quite possibly one of the dumbest moves I’ve ever seen. Mandy would’ve won if she wasn’t so STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Carmella gets back in the ring, goes to climb the ladder, but Sonya Deville runs down, pulls her off the ladder and lays Carmella out with a spear. Then she picks Mandy up, and fireman carries her up the ladder, until the reach the top, where Sonya sets Mandy up vertically on the ladder. Mandy is about to win a second time and for a second time, she chokes, because Bayley comes in, climbs the other side and looks Mandy dead in the face. And nothing was stopping Mandy from punching Bayley here, but because she’s stupid, she must not have thought of that, and Bayley pushes her and Sonya off the ladder and takes the briefcase to a pretty big pop.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: United States Championship Match - Rey Mysterio def. Samoa Joe (c) (1:39)

I have to wonder what the thought process here was. I know that Rey had to give up the US Title the next night. Was his injury a work or legit. Because if it was a work, I have to wonder what they were trying to do here. Since this match is less than 2 minutes, I can sum it up like this. Joe beats the crap out of Rey, until Rey hits him with a senton and breaks Joe’s nose. If I had a nickel for every time Rey Mysterio broke a man’s nose with his ass, I’d have 2 nickels, which isn’t a lot, but its weird that it happened twice. Joe goes for a powerbomb, but Rey reverses it into a hurricanrana into a pin to quickly beat Joe, who had one shoulder up and this shoulder isn’t just a little bit off the mat. The referee had to go out of his way to not see this shoulder. Rey wins and Pre-Prison Dom comes down to celebrate. But Joe comes back out and beats the shit out of Rey. And Michael Cole says “He’s decimating Rey in front of his teenage son!” Now I know for a fucking fact that Dominik was not a teenager at this point. Ya know why? He’s older than me and I was fucking 20 at this point. I don’t have a big issue with that. I just think its funny.

Match 3: Steel Cage Match - Shane McMahon def. The Miz (13:08)

This match has a bit of a harsh rating on cagematch. I think they’re rating it more for the storyline than the match itself because I didn’t think it was that bad. It’s not good by any means, but not horrible. Also, how the hell do I keep getting these shows with Shane McMahon on it? Pretty sure this is the 5th PPV in a row where he’s been involved. This is a far cry from the Shane who had that awesome Last Man Standing Match with Kane. Miz has to pretty much carry it. Shane tries to escape early several times. He tries to climb out through the door, but Miz grabs him and pulls him back in, but Shane grabs a chair from under the ring and goes to use it, but Miz gets it instead and wails on Shane with it. I did love when Shane tries to escape and climb out the door again, Miz lets him get his head out before he shuts the door on him. Shane takes a bump from the top of the cage and later Miz tries to make him do it again. Miz tries a superplex from the top of the cage. But Shane slides out of his shirt that Miz was clinging to and falls to victory to the floor.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 4: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Tony Nese (c) def. Ariya Daivari (9:22)

How is it that Cedric Alexander and Buddy Murphy were relegated to the pre-show during their title reigns, but when Tony Nese gets the title, he gets a match on the main show? A boring match at that. It starts to pick up towards the end to be fair, but not until after they’ve already bored me to tears. Tony Nese hits a 450 splash and Daivari kicks out. I think that should’ve been the match right there. He goes for a knee to the face in the corner, but Daivari gets up and hits him with a superkick. He hammerlocks Nese’s arm and clotheslines him which sends him inside out. But Nese kicks out. Daivari gets sent on his ass into the corner and Nese hits him with a knee to the face to retain his title.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 5: Raw Women’s Championship Match - Becky Lynch (c) def. Lacey Evans (8:38)

Ah yes, the start of that Lacey Evans push that we all remember and love. Right guys? In all seriousness, this is not how you start Becky’s title reign. What’s important to say though is that she has another title defense later. This is pretty much their Stomping Grounds match. A match that would be better suited for an episode of Raw instead of a PPV. Becky schools the rookie at first, but Lacey starts to wear Becky down and its boring. She’s the “sassy southern belle” and its blegh. Who cares. Lacey tries to roll Becky up from behind, but Becky reverses it into the Dis-Arm-Her, and Lacey immediately taps out. Becky retains the Raw title.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 6: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Charlotte Flair def. Becky Lynch (c) (6:12)

But as Becky tries to leave, Charlotte’s music hits and she says “get back in there.” According to Corey Graves, this match isn’t supposed to happen until later, but Becky, all cocky, takes Charlotte up on her challenge and the match is happening now. Charlotte is, as you can expect in control for a lot of the match as Becky just finished up with one. But Becky isn’t helpless and fights back and gets some decent shots in. They go to the apron and Charlotte tries to hit Natural Selection on the apron, but Becky hangs on to the ropes, and Charlotte crashes to the floor on her back. Becky gets back in the ring and the referee starts to count Charlotte out while Lacey Evans runs back out to hit Becky in the face. Charlotte gets back in and big boots Becky to win the title.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 7: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Bayley def. Charlotte Flair (c) (0:20)

And after that match, Lacey and Charlotte gang up on Becky and beat her down in a corner. The crowd starts chanting “We want Bayley!” And they get their wish, because Bayley’s music hits, she disposes of Lacey and gets attacked by Charlotte from behind. Charlotte goes back to beating up Becky. She goes to spear Bayley, but Bayley sidesteps and Charlotte goes head first into the middle turnbuckle, basically knocking her out. Bayley takes the briefcase and hands it to the referee who asks “are you sure you wanna cash this in?” As the referees usually do and Bayley goes “Yes I wanna cash it in you idiot!” As the briefcase holders usually do. I’ll never forget when Carmella brought a referee to the ring with her and the guy was still like “you wanna cash this in? Really?” Anyway, Bayley goes to the top rope and hits an elbow drop on Charlotte’s chest to become the new SmackDown Women’s Champion!

Match 8: Roman Reigns def. Elias (0:10)

Before this match even starts, Elias breaks his guitar over Roman’s back backstage and then goes down to the ring to play concert that made me yawn. So after Elias’ concert, he goes to leave. Roman’s music hits, he superman punches Elias on the stage and drags him to the ring. Bell rings, Roman hits a Spear, 1, 2, 3. Collect your paycheck and get out.

Match 9: Universal Championship Match - Seth Rollins (c) def. AJ Styles (19:51)

The hype and the anticipation was high for this match. And the only question was could it live up to the hype? Hell yeah it did! An amazing way to start Seth’s title reign. The match starts slowly, both men trying to outwrestle the other and get the better of the other. But the pace gradually picks up more and more. AJ tries to go for the Styles Clash off the apron, but Seth escapes it. Seth hits a suicide dive onto AJ on the outside. Both men make it back to their feet and in the ring, but Seth sends AJ back out with a clothesline so he can hit another suicide dive. There’s counters a plenty for the rest of the match and both men are evenly matched. Styles goes for the Styles Clash, but Seth back body drops him over and sits down on him, hooking the legs in a pin, Styles reverses it into a sunset flip pin, but Rollins escapes and from there, picks AJ off the mat in a powerbomb position and hits the buckle bomb, followed by a beautiful frog splash! Seth hits an inverted superplex from the top rope! Seth goes for a superkick, but AJ sidesteps and from there, puts Seth in the Calf Crusher and puts TORQUE on that thing! AJ hits a backflip off the second rope into a reverse DDT. The two men start throwing fists and chops with AJ going for that combination, backhand, backhand, kick to the knee and clothesline, but Seth sidesteps and hits an enziguri, a dazed AJ goes for the pele kick, but Seth sidesteps that and hits AJ with a superkick! And in one of the best counters I’ve ever seen, Seth goes for the Curb Stomp, but AJ catches him to hit the Styles Clash! But Rollins kicks out. Styles goes to the apron for the Styles Clash, but Rollins sidesteps and knees AJ in the face, hits another superkick and finishes the match with a Curb Stomp to retain. The two men shake hands after putting on the match of the night!

My Rating: ****1/2

Match 10: WWE Championship Match - Kofi Kingston (c) def. Kevin Owens (14:58)

While nowhere near as good as the match before it, this was a good way to begin Kofi’s title reign as well. I’d say this is the best of Kofi’s title defenses on PPV. Kofi gets things off to a hot start, overwhelming KO with his agility. Owens goes to irish whip Kofi into the ring from the outside, but Kofi leaps up, climbs the turnbuckle and leaps onto KO on the outside. Owens takes control of the match after a superkick and wears Kofi down with strikes and pretty much throwing his body on him. Owens takes a couple horrible bumps during the match. He looks like he’s going for a powerbomb on Kofi, but Kofi back drops him into the corner. And then a standing double stomp on the apron which I bet is horrible to take no matter what. Kofi goes back up to the top rope to dive on KO, but Owens superkicks him out of the air and sends him back in the ring so they can do a nice sequence. Owens sends Kofi off the ropes for the pop-up powerbomb. Kofi goes over KO and lands on his feet. He goes for the SOS, Kevin escapes and goes for the Stunner, but Kofi shoves him off and then hits the SOS for a 2 count. Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise and gets caught in a boston crab by KO but Kofi reaches the ropes and Owens soon hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb. Owens goes the Stunner again, but Kofi shoves him away and now hits Trouble in Paradise, but Owens falls outside of the ring. Kofi brings him back in, trying to beat him the ring, but Owens stuns him, but Kofi falls near the ropes and gets his foot on the bottom rope. Owens then hilariously takes Kofi's sneakers off and throws them outside. He tries a Senton, but Kofi gets his knees up, hits the Trouble in Paradise to take the title home.

My Rating: ***3/4

Main Event: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Brock Lesnar def. Randy Orton, Drew McIntyre, Baron Corbin, Andrade, Finn Balor, Ricochet & Mustafa Ali (19:01)

It really is a damn shame that this match ended the way that it did because this was one of the best Money in the Bank Matches I had ever seen up until that point. I’ll get to that in a bit and talk about the insanity of this match. First off, Randy Orton doesn’t do a whole lot in the match, but when he does, you notice it. The man takes Ali and Finn Balor and drops them both off the announce table while Ricochet dives on the other men in the match on the outside. Ricochet goes after Orton, but he ends up getting dropped too and Orton dusts his hands off. McIntyre and Corbin work together for most of the match. Most of it. Finn Balor in particular dies for this fucking match. This man takes 3 back bumps onto a ladder including a sunset flip off the top of a ladder from Andrade onto a ladder bridged between that one and the ring ropes. They show a replay of the sunset flip and after landing, Balor bounces off it like 4 feet into the air and hits the ladder again! Drew McIntyre bridges a ladder between the the ring apron and an announce table and presses Ali over his head. But Ali slides down his back and escapes, only to be grabbed by Corbin and chokeslammed through a table! And what's funny is after that, the crowd chants "you still suck!" Corbin grabs McIntyre and throws him over the barricade, terminating that alliance. Corbin hits Ricochet with a Deep Six on the outside, but McIntyre comes back and drops him with a Claymore. Drew goes in to climb the ladder again, but Ricochet comes in to stop him. He gets halfway up the ladder before he's pulled back down by Drew who grabs him by the face and says "Not today!" And then fucking throws Ricochet over the ropes through the bridged ladder outside! Drew goes to climb again, but gets yanked off by Orton who RKOs him. Corbin gets in and sends Orton shoulder first into the ring post. Ali finally comes back in though and sends Corbin outside. Ali is at the top and is about to take the briefcase down… when Brock Lesnar's God damn music hits! He runs down! Ruins this amazing match just by fucking being there! He tips the ladder over with Ali on it and climbs it himself and takes the briefcase down… And I remember the exact reaction I had as I type this out. Which was 30 seconds of silence followed by a muffled scream as I held my hands in my head! So not only was it just about guaranteed Brock would be champion again, but he came in at the end. After the 7 guys who were in the match put on one of the most exciting Money in the Bank Matches ever, Brock runs down and just wins it. I would've rather seen Corbin win it. Baron Corbin! If it wasn’t for this ending, I probably would be giving it 4.5. But fuck this ending!

My Rating: ****1/4

Cagematch: 6.11

My Rating: 6/10

First half of the PPV was so uninteresting. Nothing about it was particularly bad, aside from Lacey Evans. It's just the Women’s Ladder Match wasn’t that great. Pretty much the only enjoyable thing before the final 3 matches was the rise of Bayley pretty much. But then you have Seth and AJ having one of the best matches for WWE this year. Kofi vs KO, while not spectacular was also a good watch. That men's Ladder Match was spectacular aside from the finish and who won it. And ultimately, that's probably why I'm going with a 6 overall for this show. Because Vince had to disgrace us with Brock Lesnar's presence. I can’t imagine being one of the 7 guys in that match and killing my body only for Brock to run in at the end and win it.

They gave us ladders on this show, time to add tables and chairs to that. Next I'll be reviewing TLC 2013.

 

[Jarf]

TLC 2013

Match 1: 3-on-1 Handicap Match - CM Punk def. The Shield (13:41)

At the time, I wasn’t sure how I felt about CM Punk beating The Shield, but considering it was more about luck, I’m okay with it. This was at the time they were trying to build Roman up as the ‘leader’ of The Shield for some reason, even though that goes against what made The Shield cool to begin with was that there was no leader. Punk starts the match with Dean. Ambrose tries to push Punk into the Shield’s corner. Seth gets tagged in next and he tries to do the same, Punk escapes again. Then Roman gets tagged in and he freaking picks Punk up by the throat with both hands and throws him into the Shield’s corner. And from here, The Shield start to wear Punk down. Roman tosses Punk outside near the announce tables and Roman gets out the side. He OOH AHHs and runs over looking to Spear Punk, but Punk sidesteps and Roman flies over the announce table. He gets back in, and commentary makes a big deal out of Roman hurting his eye when he flew into them. Punk attacks Roman’s eye, and Roman tosses Punk over the ropes so he can tag out. A doctor comes out to check on Roman, but Punk still has to fight off Seth and Dean. Coming down to the end, Punk hits Seth with the GTS, and then picks Dean up. Dean slides off the back, and Roman comes back in trying to Spear Punk, but Punk sidesteps again and Roman Spears Dean instead. Punk throws Roman out and pins Dean to pull off the upset.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: Divas Championship Match - AJ Lee (c) def. Natalya (6:35)

Considering this was pre women’s revolution, this was probably one of the best women’s matches in WWE up to this point. Natalya starts off outwrestling AJ. But AJ starts to wear Nattie down after a distraction from Tamina. Even hits a roundhouse kick which was odd. But Nattie starts to make a comeback, puts AJ down and puts her in the Sharpshooter. AJ escapes by lifting her body through Nattie's legs. Tamina gets on the apron to cause a distraction, Nattie knocks her off and AJ tilt-a-whirls into the Black Widow. But Nattie escapes and hits a spinning clothesline. She goes for another Sharpshooter, but AJ reaches up and pulls Nattie down into a small package to retain.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: Intercontinental Championship Match - Big E. Langston (c) def. Damien Sandow (6:27)

An uninteresting title match. Also, this isn't to say the Intercontinental Title isn't worth fighting for, but you gotta feel for Sandow. Won MITB, cashed in and lost to Cena. And pretty much immediately became a midcarder again. Big E. uses his power, Sandow uses his craftiness. Sandow starts wearing E. down after he pulls him into the ring post. Sandow wears E down for a bit. Big E. starts the comeback after an electric chair drop. E picks Sandow up, hits the Big Ending and retains.

My Rating: **

Match 4: WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match - The Rhodes Brothers (c) def. Big Show & Rey Mysterio, The Real Americans & RybAxel (21:04)

It was at this point in the show where I realized how there was very little stipulations revolving around tables, ladders, or chairs. Like, they couldn’t have even made this a Tables Elimination Match? Whatever, It’s a pretty good match at least. Ryback and Curtis Axel are 2 more guys who fell down the card hard. Not that the Tag Titles weren’t prestigious, but Ryback was competing for the WWE Title and Axel was the Intercontinental Champ a month earlier. And they were the first team eliminated in 6 minutes. Goldust rolls Ryback up from behind to eliminate them. Ryback clotheslines Goldust and then leaves. So then The Real Americans isolate Goldust from both corners and wear him down for a boring amount of time. Goldust hits a Yoshi-Tonic on Cesaro and tries to reach for Cody, but Swagger pulls him off the apron and Goldust goes to tag Big Show instead after whipping out a hurricanrana on Cesaro. Big Show comes in and cleans house. He goosels Cesaro, but Swagger comes in, taking his attention away, and Big Show punches Swagger. Cesaro goes to the second rope and leaps off, but Big Show hits him in mid-air to eliminate them, leaving us down to 2 teams. Big Show helps Goldust up, and Goldust starts for some reason even though he just got his ass whooped for like 7 minutes. Goldust and Big Show tag out their partners so Rey and Cody can have a beautiful sequence to end the match. Big Show tosses Goldust into the barricade, but Goldust pushes Big Show into the ring apron, taking them both out the rest of the match. Cody goes for a springboard and Rey catches him in a powerbomb which I wasn’t expecting! Cody goes for a Cross Rhodes, but Rey from that position sends Cody into the ropes with a head scissors. Rey goes for the 619, but Cody catches him and sets him up in an Alabama Slam position. Rey slides down the back into a sunset flip pin, Cody kicks out. Rey goes for a tilt-a-whirl, but Cody reverses that into the Cross Rhodes and the Super Rhodes Bros retain.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 5: R-Truth def. Brodus Clay (6:02)

Ah Brodus Clay… Fuck you. This match is what you would probably expect apart from the Tensai stuff. Tensai comes down with Clay and he’s involved twice. As Brodus beats up Truth, and drops his fat ass down on him repeatedly, Tensai tells him several times to just pin him, but Brodus just wants to beat up Truth. They get into 2 arguments during the match over this. Tensai gets fed up and leaves the ringside as well as the Funkadactyls. This distraction allows Truth to hit Brodus with a Scissors Kick to win the match.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 6: No DQ Match - Kofi Kingston def. The Miz (8:00)

This match was added literally at the last minute on the kickoff show and was made a No DQ Match. As lame a stipulation as it is, I would expect this to be a chairs match or something. The No DQ stipulation doesn't even come into play until the end so there's really no point in having it. Kofi starts off hot, but after Miz ducks a Trouble in Paradise, causing Kofi's leg to hit the ring post, Miz starts to work Kofi's leg. The crowd starts to chant boring at some point, and they're right. This match was boring. Miz takes the pad off the top turnbuckle, and goes for Skull Crushing Finale into it, but Kofi escapes that. The crowd chants "we want tables." But you ain't getting any. Miz's head hits the exposed turnbuckle and followed by a Trouble in Paradise, Kofi wins. What an outstanding show this is, I say dripping with sarcasm.

My Rating: **

Match 7: 3-on-1 Handicap Match - The Wyatt Family def. Daniel Bryan (12:25)

Pretty much a squash with a fast paced comeback towards the end. In the early parts of the match, Bray doesn’t take his hawaiian shirt or his hat off and just sits in the chair and I like that. He has faith that Harper and Rowan can beat down Bryan. And how can you blame him, they’re massive dudes. That’s exactly what they do. Harper and Rowan toss Bryan around like trash. At some point, Harper looks at Bray and spreads his arms as Bryan lays beneath him, almost as if he’s offering Bryan up to him. Bray talks a bunch of shit to Bryan, telling him they could run this place if he would join them. Bryan resists, and Bray knocks him back down. He tags Harper back in and tells him to finish him. But Harper gets hung up on the top rope after missing a big boot. Bryan hits Bray and Rowan with a double dropkick, sending them off the apron. Bryan picks Harper up on the top rope and hits a backdrop. Bryan hits Harper with a kick to the head and a headbutt. Rowan comes back in and gets tied up in the ropes, leaving him free game for Bryan to kick over and over. He dropkicks Rowan over the top rope. Harper gets sent outside too, Bray sends Bryan off the ropes and Bryan ducks under a clothesline to hit a suicide dive on Harper, which sends him over the announce table! Bryan hits a dropkick from the top rope on Bray, and puts him in the Yes Lock! But Bray escapes and elbows Bryan repeatedly in the face, before he picks him back up and hits Sister Abigail to win the match.

My Rating: ***1/4

Main Event: TLC Unification Match for the WWE & World Heavyweight Championships - Randy Orton (WWE) def. John Cena (WH) (24:35)

An interesting thing to note before I talk about this match. In the video package, they show various points from both men’s careers. Their debuts, their first midcard title win, their Royal Rumble wins, their Money in the Bank wins and the first time they won a World Title. Now if you recall, Orton beat Chris Benoit to win his first world title, and they actually show Orton pinning Benoit to win it. They don’t show Benoit’s face, but I thought it was weird they actually showed him in the footage. They built this match up like it was the biggest match of all time. As if they didn’t do a title unification 12 years earlier. I could tell this was going to be slow paced when the first thing they did was collar and elbow, followed by a headlock. Because that’s what I love about TLC Matches. But for the most part, I think this was a good match. Not a great match but a good one. I’m probably one of the only people who think their match at Royal Rumble a month later was better though. They set up a table on the outside and halfway through the match, Cena hits Orton with a ladder, sending him off the apron through the table. Cena had plenty of time to grab the title, but Orton comes back in, shoves the ladder over and hits Cena with an RKO. Cena gets back up and sends Orton outside, where he grabs the steel steps and bounces it twice off Orton’s head. But Orton grabs a microphone and bounces it off Cena’s head. Orton takes apart the announce table, only to go for a Punt Kick. But Cena moves out of the way and drops Orton through the table with an AA. Cena goes in, climbs the ladder, but Orton tips the ladder over with Cena holding on to the titles. Orton grabs a chair and slams it in Cena’s back, sending him back down. Orton wails on Cena with the chair, and Cena tackles Orton through a table set up in the corner. But Orton recovers first because “Cena’s head hits the table.” Whatever, I’ll take that. Orton goes out, grabs a pair of handcuffs, and cuffs Cena’s hand to the bottom rope. Orton goes halfway up the entrance way and grabs a huge ladder, brings it into the ring and starts to climb it. But the way Cena escapes is by unhooking the rope from the turnbuckle. So he climbs up the ladder, taking the bottom ring rope with him and hits Orton in the head with it. Orton goes down and grabs the ring rope, before he pulls Cena off, head first into a table set up in the corner. It works. I’ll take it. Orton goes up to take both titles down and become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Not a lot of standout spots during this match, but that ending was pretty damn cool.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.11

My Rating: 5/10

This show was so damn boring. This was a poorly booked TLC PPV as far as stipulations are concerned. Hardly anything relating to the 3 weapons they center this show around. I thought that was the whole point. Any card with Brodus Clay on it loses points from me. It’s not like every match was bad though, so I can’t be too hard on it. The only other thing I’ll talk about was the unification match. Was there a single person who gave a shit about this match? In all honesty? I know I sure as hell didn’t.

It’s once again time to get ready to rumble. I’ll be reviewing Royal Rumble 1993 next.

 

[Jarf]

Royal Rumble 1993

Match 1: The Steiner Brothers def. The Beverly Brothers (10:44)

Not exactly what I’d call a good showcase of the Steiners talent. Beverly Brothers kinda suck. But it’s fine. Probably their best match they had in WWF. The Steiners mess with them at the start but as Scott is going for a powerbomb on Blake (or Beau) the other Beverly knocks him down with a clothesline. So then The Beverlys isolate Scott from his corner. But eventually, Scott makes it over to Rick and the match’s pace starts to pick up again. Rick hits a german suplex on one of them, and tosses that man away! The Beverlys throw Rick out of the ring, but Scott tags himself just as they do. One of the Beverlys picks Scott up on his shoulders while the other climbs the top turnbuckle. Attempting a Doomsday Device, but Scott reverses it into a victory roll as the brother dives off the top. So now, Rick fights with him while Scott finishes the other brother in the ring with a Frankensteiner which spiked him on his head! Jesus. Anyway, The Steiners win.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 2: Intercontinental Championship Match - Shawn Michaels (c) def. Marty Jannetty (14:19)

This match revolved more around Sherri than their feud. Shawn pulled Sherri in front of him as Marty swung at him with a mirror. So Sherri is down at ringside at this match and she’s all Gorilla and Heenan can talk about. It’s a shame because this was a very good match. Nothing compared to the matches they would have later in the ring on Raw. Marty starts off hot, but Shawn catches him with a punch as Marty comes off the top rope to the floor. Shawn then rams Jannetty’s shoulder into the ring post and begins to work over that. But Jannetty later starts to come back, and Shawn’s shoulder hits the ring post next after Jannetty dodges. Jannetty hits a suplex on Shawn to the outside, and as the referee is checking on Marty, Sherri goes over to see Shawn… and slaps him in the face, which gets a pretty big pop from the crowd. Jannetty starts to overwhelm Shawn at this point. Shawn just can’t get his feet from under him again. Jannetty dodges a superkick from Shawn and hits one of his own and catapults Shawn into the ring post. Shawn accidentally elbows the referee in the face, knocking him down. Which opens the door for Sherri to come in. Jannetty holds Shawn by his arms so Sherri takes her heel off and goes to hit Shawn, but Shawn dodges, and Sherri hits Jannetty instead. Shawn backs Sherri into the corner, before he realizes Marty is getting up and turns him inside out with a Superkick. The referee wakes up and Shawn pins him to retain as Sherri retreats to the back in distress. Shawn follows her and tries to berate her, but he gets jumped by Jannetty from behind.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 3: Bam Bam Bigelow def. Big Boss Man (10:08)

At the very least, I was expecting a solid brawl between 2 big men but this was just boring. I believe Bam Bam had just returned to the company, so he needed a win on PPV. Boss Man gets a few nice shots in at the beginning, but mostly, Bam Bam’s in control. Bam Bam’s in control. Boss Man takes the same bump Shawn Michaels took that broke his back on the ring apron. From this point, Bam Bam works over Boss Man's back and bores the hell out of me. I think Boss Man only gets a couple more shots in the rest of the match. Bigelow really just dominates. He tries for a suplex, and Boss Man reverses into one of his own, but it hurts him more than it does Bigelow. Bam Bam goes up top and hits the diving headbutt for the win.

My Rating: **

Match 4: WWF Championship Match - Bret Hart (c) def. Razor Ramon (17:58)

Now this is a hell of a wrestling match. I thought this was great. Bret does the smart thing early, which was chop down Razor at the knees. But Ramon whips Bret into the corner and Bret falls under the bottom rope and his ribcage hits the ring post. Ramon starts to wear Bret down and beats on his ribs. But Bret eventually begins to comeback from the beating Ramon gives him. He back drops Ramon over the ropes and hits a suicide dive and starts wailing on him with punches. Bret has the edge for the next several minutes, leading up to an attempt at the Sharpshooter, but Ramon pulls the referee by the leg and into Bret, making Bret fall over. Ramon gets the upper hand by targeting Bret's ribs again, and picks him up for a Razor's Edge, but Bret pushes himself back over Ramon's head and brings Ramon down to the mat with a sunset flip pin, but Razor kicks out, but from that position, Bret crosses Razor's legs and turns them both over, locking in the Sharpshooter to retain the WWF Title. Great match this was. Worth a watch if you have time.

My Rating: ****

One thing that I think is absolutely hilarious that I almost forgot to talk about is the debut of Lex Luger. His gimmick was basically a guy… who would fuck a clone of himself if given the opportunity. Luger poses in front of 3 different mirrors all the while Bobby Heenan is cumming in his pants, yelling into a microphone "look at him! He's in love with himself and he has every right to be!" And Heenan doesn't stop for 5 minutes as Luger goes through pose after pose after pose.

Main Event: Royal Rumble Match - Yokozuna won by last eliminating Randy Savage (1:06:39)

Not a Rumble many people look back fondly on and I can definitely see why. But I honestly thought this was going well for a bit there. And then halfway through, it just becomes a long, boring watch. The match begins with Ric Flair at number 1, and Bob Backlund at number 2. They get the match to a good start. Some big names actually enter in the first 10 entrants and help build the match. Ted DiBiase, Jerry Lawler and Mr. Perfect enter within the first 10 and as you can expect, Perfect goes right for Flair and they go at it. Unfortunately, you know immediately neither of them are winning because Gorilla says they have a Loser Leaves Match on Raw the next night. (It actually already happened cause it was pre-taped) Genichiro Tenryu also makes an entrance which I thought was pretty sweet. He gets into a chopfest with Flair. Perfect eliminates Flair and racks up a couple more eliminations, including Lawler. DiBiase tosses Perfect over, and hangs on. But the eliminated Lawler tries to pull Perfect off the apron and DiBiase and Koko B. Ware are trying to push Perfect off and he's clinging to the ropes for dear life. Even though I knew he wasn’t winning, he had me hoping he gets back in. It took 3 guys to get Perfect off those ropes and on the floor. Undertaker makes his way down at number 15 and racks up some eliminations of his own. Berzerker body slams Bob Backlund on the outside onto the exposed concrete, to exclude him from the trimming down Taker does in the ring. Undertaker goes toe to toe with Tenryu, a match I didn't know I wanted until now. Soon enough, we're left with only Undertaker in the ring with Backlund laid out on the floor. But then who would come to the ring as an unofficial participant? Giant Gonzalez. NOOOOO! So far, this Rumble hadn't been so bad, it had been actually enjoyable for the most part. But when Gonzalez gets in the ring and eliminates Taker, he continues to beat him up. In the time it took Gonzalez to leave, 2 more entrants had come out and just awkwardly stood outside the ring as Gonzalez brings the match to screeching halt. This is where I start to lose interest, as the ring fills up with midcarder after midcarder. They threw out a lot of heavy hitters out early unfortunately. I don’t remember most of the guys who started entering at this point. I remember Yokozuna though as he comes down and immediately starts eliminating people. He tosses out Tatanka, Carlos Colon and the big Earthquake. Randy Savage comes out at number 30 to add some life into the match. Thank you Savage. Yokozuna racks up a couple more eliminations including Owen Hart who lands on his knees hard. Our final 3 is Yoko, Savage, and Backlund, who broke Ric Flair's record he set the year before of longest time in a Rumble Match. But Yoko ends Bob's WrestleMania hopes, leaving us with Yoko and Savage, who honestly should've won because give me Bret vs Savage over Bret vs Yoko any day. Yokozuna toys with Savage for so long that you start to think (unless you already knew like me) "Savage is definitely winning right." This finish actually on its way to being a pretty good Rumble ending. Until Savage dropped an elbow on Yoko and tried to pin him for some reason. Yoko throws Savage off of him, and Randy kinda just flops over the ropes to the floor and Yokozuna has a World Title Match at WrestleMania 9… oh WrestleMania 9, you pile of garbage.

My Rating: **3/4

Cagematch Rating: 6.11

My Rating: 6/10

A better show than I was expecting, but still not a great one. It's alright. The night is made by the IC Title Match and of course the WWF Title Match. That Rumble was actually going well too for a bit. But it really falls off after Gonzalez attacks Undertaker. Especially for how long it was drawn out. I also think Yokozuna was a bad winner. Solid big mam, but not Mania main event ready. But I can see why this show has the rating it does. I think it's earned a 6.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

One of the worst Rumble finishes for me, Savage forgetting the rules and looking like an idiot

 

[Chris]

One of the worst Rumble finishes for me, Savage forgetting the rules and looking like an idiot

The year before he jumped over the top rope to attack Jake Roberts even though he wasn't supposed to be eliminated yet too lol the rumble rules were not his strong suit

 

[JakeYourBooty]

The year before he jumped over the top rope to attack Jake Roberts even though he wasn't supposed to be eliminated yet too lol the rumble rules were not his strong suit

Cocaine isn’t great for short term memory

 

[Jarf]

The year before he jumped over the top rope to attack Jake Roberts even though he wasn't supposed to be eliminated yet too lol the rumble rules were not his strong suit

That's what I was wondering. Did he really just forget about the rules both years? It's not like he hadn't been in a couple before lol

 

[Chris]

That's what I was wondering. Did he really just forget about the rules both years? It's not like he hadn't been in a couple before lol

In 1992, for sure bc you can tell how it played out they scrambled to explain why he wasn't out. 1993 I actually think may have been booked that way which is even worse

 

[Jarf]

In 1992, for sure bc you can tell how it played out they scrambled to explain why he wasn't out. 1993 I actually think may have been booked that way which is even worse

"So why does Randy try to pin him?"
Vince: So Yoko can show off his strength by throwing him off from the floor dammit!
"Okay, but... Savage is gonna look stupid."
Vince: I don't see the problem... dammit.

 

[Crocker]

Bret vs Razor ruled


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Jarf]

Unforgiven 2005

Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Ric Flair def. Carlito (c) (11:53)

The night begins with a solid match for the IC Title as Flair tries to prove that he’s still got it. The match starts with some basic wrestling from Flair and just a few chops for good measure that sends Carlito retreating for a bit. But Carlito soon takes the advantage and starts to wear down Ric and work over his shoulder. This part of the match isn’t anything special, but I really love when we’re closing in on the finish. Once Flair starts to make a comeback, he goes up top, and usually his opponent throws him off, but Flair leaps off and hits Carlito an axe handle which pops the crowd and gets them to clap, as Flair smiles and celebrates that he didn’t get thrown off for once. But he tries to tempt fate twice and goes up again, only to get dropkicked out of the air by Carlito. Carlito goes outside and grabs an apple off the floor (gross) and he gets back in, takes a bite and goes to spit in Flair’s face, but Flair punches Carlito, lodging apple bits in his throat I guess and Flair puts Carlito in the Figure 4. Carlito taps out and Flair becomes the old Intercontinental Champion. Then Flair says he’s gonna celebrate “all night long” So he goes out and picks 4 women… yes 4 women! Out of the crowd and takes them back with him. Now I know that Flair saw a lot of action back in the day. I don’t think 50 year old, saggy skin Ric Flair is banging anyone.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: Trish Stratus & Ashley def. Victoria & Torrie Wilson (6:53)

Torrie Wilson being a heel feels wrong. I just don’t see it. I refuse to see it. Trish starts the match with Victoria. Ashley comes in to get beat up by Victoria… and Torrie too, but mostly Victoria. I think Torrie only got tagged in once during the whole match. Ashley crotches Victoria on the top rope and makes the hot tag to Trish, who hits the upside down hurricanrana move on Victoria. (seriously, did she ever give that move a name? If so, please tell me) Candice gets involved at some point, so Ashley goes over to knock her on her ass. Trish goes to hit the Stratusfaction, but Torrie comes in, so Trish pulls the headlock, head scissors combo on Victoria and Torrie, before she drops Victoria with a Chick Kick to win the match.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 3: Big Show def. Snitsky (6:10)

The match is what you’d probably expect, slow and a bore. The match begins as they’re showing a recap of something that happened on Raw weeks before because Snitsky attacks Big Show and the fight begins. Big Show tosses Snitsky around like he’s a small man. Snitsky tries to leave, but Big Show stops him and brings him back to the ring. Big Show’s shoulder hits the ring post on a ducked clothesline, so Snitsky starts to target that. He hits a back drop on Big Show that almost sends him on his head. But eventually, that comeback starts, Big Show hits the Chokeslam and takes the win. He grabs the ring bell at ringside and slams it into Snitsky’s head twice which is what Snitsky did to Big Show weeks ago which started this whole feud.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: Shelton Benjamin def. Kerwin White (8:49)

When I had heard about the “Kerwin White” gimmick, I thought it was supposed to be a completely different person like Isaac Yankem to Kane. But no, JR calls him Chavo Guerrero still and Lawler and Coach go “who’s that?” The match is fine, it’s just not really anything worth seeing here. It’s a very TV match instead of a PPV match. Shelton begins hot, but K White (as Coach called him) goes after his legs and works over them. Kerwin hits a superplex on Shelton. Chavo tries to use the golf club he brought down with him, but Shelton lifts Chavo off the ground and catches him in a T-Bone Suplex to win the match.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 5: Steel Cage Match - Matt Hardy def. Edge (21:23)

This storyline still blows my mind to this day. I can’t even stand to be around some of my coworkers and here Matt was working with a guy who stole his girl. As much as I hate Vince McMahon as a person, I have to give him some credit. He had some balls to stick these two together. This match was awesome too. They start throwing fists out the gate. Edge throws Matt into the steel cage and starts going after his head which had been a source of injury for Matt recently. Edge starts to have fun and play with Matt for a while. But he plays with him too much and Matt catapults Edge into the cage, cutting him open badly. Matt puts the boots to Edge's bloody face. Lita in a desperate move, hands Edge the Money in the Bank briefcase to him through the door. Edge swings at Matt, but Matt ducks and sends the case flying out of Edge's hands. Matt repeatedly throws Edge face first into the cage. Matt goes to leave, only to get dragged between the ropes and the cage, Edge hits a Spear on Matt there. Edge tries to leave out of the corner, but Hardy follows him and hits the Side Effect from the top rope. At this point, Lita gets into the cage and stops the pinfall. She tries hitting him with the briefcase, Matt swipes it out of her hands and gives her a Twist of Fate. That little distraction gives Edge time to get up so he can hit the Spear on Hardy. But Hardy kicks out and now Edge decides its time to leave. He tries to climb out of the cage, but Hardy follows him and knocks him down to the mat on his back. Hardy climbs on top of the cage. He looks down at Edge… he looks over the crowd and looks like he's about to something stupid. The crowd goes ape shit. Matt battle cries before he leaps off and gives Edge a legdrop from the top of the cage which I can't believe! I just know Matt wasn't walking right for a few days after that. Jesus! Matt puts an arm on Edge's chest to pin him 1, 2, 3. God damn what a match!

My Rating: ****1/4

Match 6: World Tag Team Championship Match - Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch def. The Hurricane & Rosey (c) (7:37)

This match's cagematch rating is weird to me. Not a single person voted below 5 for this match. I thought this match sucked. Was not into the whole Trevor Murdoch trying to sexually assault Lillian Garcia randomly for no reason. Hurricane goes over to save Lillian, but Trevor gives him a draping DDT off the apron and some doctors come down, trying to take Hurricane to the back, but once he sees that Rosey is fighting Cade and Murdoch by himself on the tron, he turns around and goes back down. He tags in and tries to fight them, but Cade and Murdoch give him a TOTAL ELIMINATION (clothesline, chop block combo) to win the titles.

My Rating: *3/4

Match 7: Shawn Michaels def. Chris Masters (16:42)

Very good match. I honestly think Chris Masters could've been a big deal. Of course, being in the ring with Shawn Michaels goes a long way in making someone look good, so this was probably Masters' best match in his career. This was built around one, the Masterlock and if Shawn could break. Masters is also coming into this match undefeated. Before the bell even rings, Masters attacks Shawn and puts him in the Masterlock. He let's go and when Shawn says he's ready, the ref calls for the bell. Shawn gets some good shots in early, but Masters picks Shawn up in a powerbomb position and rams him twice into the ring post. So then Chris starts to wear Shawn down attack his back. A few times, he goes for the Masterlock and to avoid it getting locked in, Shawn gets his hands over the refs eyes and low blows Masters. From here, Shawn begins to make the old 2K comeback, dropping the elbow and then starts tuning up the band. But Masters ducks and now gets the Masterlock on Shawn! Shawn is trying to fight out of it, climbing the ropes with his lower body and Masters twice yanks him back. But the third time, Shawn manages to get his body over the ropes and on the apron forcing Masters to let go of the hold. Shawn hangs Chris on the top rope and comes off the top turnbuckle, but Masters catches him, once again trying to apply the Masterlock, but Shawn ducks under his arm and kicks Masters in the jaw to win the match. Once again, Shawn Michaels showing why he's a master at making his opponents look good, even in defeat, during this match.

My Rating: ***1/2

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - Kurt Angle def. John Cena (c) via DQ (17:13)

And we end the night with a good match and a bad finish. I was expecting more out of these 2 but they still worked well together. Cena came into this match with an injured ankle so that's gonna be a center of attention for Kurt Angle, or at least it should be. Cena has Angle on the ropes with brawling early while Angle throws Cena around with suplex after suplex. I was expecting a lot of Kurt's offense to revolve around the ankle, but shockingly there's little of that. Halfway through the match, Cena goes for the FU, but Angle slides off his shoulders and hits him with an OLYMPIC SLAM! Cena kicks out though. The referee gets knocked down, so he's out and doesn't see Kurt grabs his gold medals and hit Cena in the head with it. Angle drops a knee on Cena's ankle and locks him in the Ankle Lock. Eric Bischoff comes down, he grabs the WWE Title and gets in the ring, holding it in front of Cena's face and telling him to tap out. I'm assuming Bischoff would've rung the bell had Cena tapped. But Cena doesn't tap and instead flings Kurt off and into Bischoff. Cena grabs the title and hits Kurt in the head with it, but the referee has come to and sees it happen, disqualifying Cena. Bischoff gets back in and yells on the microphone, but Cena drops him with an FU, but Angle jumps him and continues to attack him after the match. Angle tears the announce table apart, but Cena picks him up and drops him through the table with an FU. Kurt wins the match, but not the title. And it sucks this match ended the way it did just as it started to get really good.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.11

My Rating: 8/10

I thought this was a pretty fun show… for the most part. There is 4 matches on this show that I could’ve lived without seeing. But also 4 matches I think that were worth a watch. It could've been better for sure, but it also could've been a lot worse. That Cage Match for sure is definitely worth the watch.

 

[Skyefire]

I didn't even know "Kerwin White" ever had a PPV match

 

[Jarf]

I didn't even know "Kerwin White" ever had a PPV match

I didn't even know it was Chavo the first time I saw the name. Because I think I first saw the name "Kerwin White" reading this card and I was like "who the fuck is Kerwin White?"

 

[Jarf]

Survivor Series 1988

Match 1: Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match - Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Blue Blazer, Sam Houston & Jim Brunzell def. Honky Tonk Man, Greg Valentine, Ron Bass, Bad News Brown & Danny Davis (17:50)

The night starts with a solid Elimination Match. Although the length of the match causes a long term problem with this show. Not that I have a problem with the length. Any longer and it might have dragged. Beefcake eliminates Davis like 2 minutes in with a Sleeper which was funny cause they said Davis was out in like 10 seconds of being in the hold. Brunzell is the first one eliminated on his team after a kick from Bad News. Sam Houston comes in next and he gets dropped. Bad News holds Houston by his arms and Valentine hits him with Houston dodges. And Brown walks away and gets counted out. It's been a bit since I watched Survivor Series '89, but I'm pretty sure Bad News did the exact same thing a year later. As Brown’s own team watches him walk away. Sam doesn’t tag out and takes a beating from the opposing team a bit longer, but he’s eliminated by Ron Bass. I believe after that is when Warrior gets in the ring for the first time in the match and goes ape shit on the opposing team. He works together with Blazer and tosses him off the top rope, hitting a headbutt on Ron Bass who kicks out. Valentine eliminates The Blue Blazer, so now it’s 2 on 3. Beefcake comes in to get beaten up by the heels for a while. He gets in there with Honky Tonk Man, and the two men wind up outside the ring, Beefcake puts Honky in the Sleeper Hold and gets the 2 of them counted out. That leaves Warrior alone with Valentine and Bass who double team the Warrior for a bit before Warrior ducks under a double clothesline and clotheslines the both of them instead. He gives Ron an axe handle to eliminate him before he does the same to Valentine and eliminates him. Perfectly solid opener.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match - The Powers of Pain, The British Bulldogs, The Hart Foundation, The Rockers & The Young Stallions def. Demolition, The Brain Busters, The Fabulous Rougeaus, The Bolsheviks & The Conquistadors (42:12)

I do have some gripes with this match, but that doesn’t stop me from giving it a pretty high rating. I really loved this match. First off, the way everyone has to step aside whenever someone hits an irish whip is funny to me. You have 10 men on each team. So you can imagine all sides of the ring were pretty full. But I thought this was a damn great match for the most part. Fast paced, quick smart tags, smart teamwork. Everyone in this match got to show what they could do. Can’t ask for much more than that. And no, it isn’t individual eliminations, when one member of a team gets pinned, his partner has to go back with him. The Rougeaus are the first team eliminated with Bret Hart rolling up Jacques. Its a while before another team gets eliminated, but its on the face teams end as Volkoff eliminates The Young Stallions after a powerslam. But another few minutes pass and the Bolsheviks are eliminated by The Rockers, Marty sunset flip pins Boris. After about another 10 minutes, The Hart Foundation is eliminated after Bret hits a german suplex on Tully Blanchard, but Blanchard’s shoulder was up while Bret’s wasn’t. So The Foundation is out, but the Busters are still in. But that doesn’t last long because The Rockers get in and a brawl breaks out between them and the Brain Busters. The referee disqualifies both teams. Here’s where the match starts to slow down and start to drag, because I believe we have at least 12 more minutes in the match and we’re down to 2 teams on each side. The Bulldogs are eliminated first by Demolition. And from there, Demolition and the Conquistadors double team The Warlord in their corner. Now this ending is really confusing, because this turn made no sense. Mr. Fuji gets on the apron and opens the ropes when Smash runs against them, so Smash hurts his knee when he goes outside and gets counted out. Ax confronts Fuji and bodyslams him on the outside and leaves with Smash. Warlord and Barbarian go over to pick Fuji up and bring him to their side of the ring, establishing the double turn. The Powers of Pain then make quick work of the Conquistadors and win the match. Now let me explain why Mr. Fuji is a dumbass. Why would he turn on the team that was currently winning, the reigning Tag Team Champions too by the way. That’s right, Fuji betrayed the Tag Team Champions to manage a team that was in fact not Tag Team Champions. That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to me. The last 12 minutes of this match was slow paced, overbooked and confusing. But man those first 30 minutes were filled with some great wrestling.

My Rating: ****

Match 3: Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match - Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude & Harley Race def. Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Tito Santana, Ken Patera & Scott Casey (30:03)

I can imagine that the only reasons the 3 last matches were so long because they had PPV time to fill. This match was alright at first. Was nowhere near as exciting as the last match was, but it was going okay. The length of this match is what my problem is. 30 minutes for this match. And man does it drag. It dragged so hard. The first 10 minutes isn't all that special. Patera is eliminated first after a Rude Awakening from Rude, then Scott Casey, who I had never heard of until I watched this show, so good for him for getting a PPV payday. Harley Race is the first man on his team to be eliminated with a flying forearm from Tito. Then Andre gets in and just mauls Santana. Poor Tito didn’t have a chance. This man made the dumb mistake of trying to sunset pin Andre, who just sits right on him to eliminate him. I really liked the stuff between Andre and Duggan. Duggan shoulder blocks Andre into the ropes and Duggan just goes to town on him. But soon enough, Duggan gets dragged into the heel corner and just beats on him for a while. Once Duggan starts getting some momentum going, but Bobby Heenan grabs his foot from the outside and Duggan goes out and grabs his 2x4 and hits Dino Bravo with it in the ring. But he basically just fucks Jake over there and proves why Jesse Ventura is right to call him stupid. And then they just proceed to beat up Jake Roberts for 10 minutes. They drag this the fuck out it really sucks the life out of the match. I just wanted them to take it home! When I say that they dragged this out, I really mean they DRAGGED this out. Like holy hell, just pin him and lets move on please! Jake manages to land a lucky DDT on Rude and eliminates him, but its over after this because Andre gets in and he just abuses Jake. He chokes him with his big meaty hands in the corner for so long that the referee disqualifies him. But Jake is basically out at that point and Mr. Perfect gets the final pinfall to eliminate Jake. Roberts ends up recovering as they’re celebrating their win and chases them off with his big long snake.

My Rating: **1/2

Main Event: Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match - The Mega Powers, Hercules, Koko B. Ware & Hillbilly Jim def. The Twin Towers, Ted DiBiase, King Haku & Red Rooster (29:10)

So after that match took forever, I now gotta watch this, which is nearly just as long. And it’s not much better. It’s pretty much the same as the last match. The first elimination of the match is on the heel’s end. Hogan body slams the Red Rooster and Savage drops an elbow on him to eliminate him. Heenan berates the Rooster before sending him to the back. Hillbilly Jim is eliminated next after a splash from Akeem. Followed by Koko by Boss Man. Then Hogan and Boss Man go face to face and they have a feud going into this show so the crowd pops for their staredown. As the match goes on, DiBiase and Hercules go face to face and they have a feud going as well. So Hercules is tossing DiBiase around, when he’s grabbed by Virgil on the outside, DiBiase rolls Herc up from behind to eliminate him. But as DiBiase mocks Hercules, Savage comes up from behind to roll him up to eliminate the million dollar man. Leaving us with the Mega Powers against 3 men. And they basically just beat down Hogan for a bit. Until Hogan makes the hot tag to Savage who takes on all 3 men at once and does a pretty good job until he’s hit in the back by Slick with a cane when the referee wasn’t looking. Slick goes over to grab Elizabeth, and Hogan runs over to save her, but Boss Man and Akeem take the moment to attack. Boss Man handcuffs Hogan to the bottom rope on the outside and beats on him with his nightstick, the referee sees that and disqualifies him. But Boss Man continues to beat up Hogan even after being eliminated. Now I’m not alone in thinking that the rest of the team should definitely be disqualified if one of the eliminated team members sticks around to beat on their opponents right? You’d think they’d have a rule in place for that sort of thing, but not at this point I guess. Then Boss Man gets in the ring and beats up Savage with the nightstick along with Akeem, who wasn’t the legal man, so Akeem gets disqualified too. So the rest of this match, Haku beats the fuck out of Savage, while Slick taunts Hogan on the outside, holding the key. Slick gets on the apron and holds Savage by the arms, but Savage dodges and Haku kicks Slick off the apron. Hogan boots Heenan in the face and tells Elizabeth to grab the key out of Slick’s pocket. Elizabeth gets it, Hogan unlocks the cuffs and gets on the apron. Haku knocks Savage into his own corner for Hogan to tag him. Hogan boots Haku, hits the leg drop and wins the match. And during the celebration, Hogan picks up Elizabeth and spins her around. Savage sees this and gets the biggest “wtf bro” face on his face. This ending foreshadows the eventual breakup of the Mega Powers. This ending is unintentionally funny too though. Elizabeth raises both mens arms and Savage just keeps pointing at Hogan like he has something to say and Hogan and Liz are like “Yeah! We win!” And Savage is like “is no one listening to me?!”

My Rating: **1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.14

My Rating: 6/10

A decent show I think. None of the matches were horrible. Which isn’t usually what I say about these Hogan era shows. I thought that the first hour of the show was really great. The opener didn’t feel too long or too short and it was decent. That second match was a lot of fun to watch until we get close to the end. The last 2 matches is where I start to fall asleep. Both of them went half an hour. And a lot of both those matches felt like it was just heat, heat, heat to kill time which is the most boring thing I can think of during a wrestling match. 6/10 is fair I think.

 

[Chris]

Great show IMO