WrestleMania Rate WrestleMania 32

[Stopspot]

I'll go a step further. Lesnar matches in general are pretty dull nowadays. He just spams suplexes like a kid who gets a new game and only knows what a few of the buttons do.

Sadly this is what WWE does whenever a move gets very very over. Remember Austin in his prime? Stunners for days

 

[Jacob Fox]

I'll go a step further. Lesnar matches in general are pretty dull nowadays. He just spams suplexes like a kid who gets a new game and only knows what a few of the buttons do.

Ah yes like when I beat Mortal Kombat II in the arcade with Johnny Cage by using the crotch punch over and over. It was entertaining to me but my friends lost interest watching pretty quickly.

 

[Prince Bálor]

I'll go a step further. Lesnar matches in general are pretty dull nowadays. He just spams suplexes like a kid who gets a new game and only knows what a few of the buttons do.

I have no problem with Lesnar matches, nor do I have a problem with the overabundance of suplexes, because sometimes it really shows how dominant and unstoppable Lesnar can be with only a handful of moves, but damn, son, that match should've been wild.

But instead, they (mainly Ambrose) used a kendo stick, steel chairs and licked Barbie. I guess that was enough for Vince to call it a Street Fight.

Ambrose looked pretty weak.

Also... By making Ambrose look weak, it came off as if Vince was saying: "LOL, look at your boy Ambrose looking weak! You're now gonna cheer Roman in the main event, dammit!" :

 

[seabs]

Sadly this is what WWE does whenever a move gets very very over. Remember Austin in his prime? Stunners for days

At least the stunner was a finisher, it's a german suplex. Like seriously Lesnar could just be trashing fools with a variety of throws yet he just constantly hits a german? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
The belly to belly spot last night was the best spot of the match because it was a slight variation.

 

[Snowman1]

But the biggest issue with WWE remains. Roman has the belt, aight, whatever. But now Ambrose got his ass beat, Styles took the most unnecessary L ever, New Day jobbed to League of Antarctica who got punked out by three retirees, Wyatt's are completely done and I don't even know who else to add to this list. Outside of whoever wins the Zayn vs Owens feud (maybe it shouldn't happen?) and some returning stars, this has to be up there with the most damaging shows they've ever done, right? How will they rebuild this roster?

and I say that despite Triple H laying down for a young guy in the me

 

[Snowman1]

 

[Cloud]

Well the results didn't pan out as I would have liked but that I can live with as most of them were expected. I feel like the first half of the show was a lot better than the Main Events. The IC match, Styles and Jericho match, Women's title match and Tag Title match entertained me well then after that I was pretty meh about the rest.

Fair play to Shane though for that bump.

 

[Roadster]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that.

Who have you seen, say it was good? lol

 

[pottsy946]

Think the worst possible thing for this mania, was if you watched nxt takeover before it, as it blew it away by huge margins and it became a shallow main ppv of the year after that

 

[CFCrusader]

The feels when they spent the entire PPV trying to build up Reigns as our conquering hero, only to turn him heel the next night (good move but why the fuck was he one of the two only faces to win?)... then they fuck everything up even further by having Ryder lose his title straight away and Styles, Owens and Zayn, who didn't even win their matches, got to fight for a chance at the title. I don't even?

Oh well, Styles for champ 2k16!

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Can you imagine that boring little redneck vanilla midget as WWE champ lol.

wait, are we live?

 

[Snowman1]

Got a lot on my mind, so may as well do the match-by-match of this...

-Ryback vs Kalisto I kinda liked. As a match it was a little more entertaining than Aries vs Corbin - mainly for Ryback's shit-talking through the match, that'll always get points with me, plus it had a lot of cool counters - but the finish was a bit of a downer. It's nitpicking, but seeing Kalisto scratch and claw at the turnbuckle to avoid the Big Guy smashing him into the ground again, yanking off the pad and tripping the neanderthal into it was kinda lame. Still it was entertaining stuff

-The Total Divas tag was what it was. To me this was the sendoff of the Bellas and the Divas' division as a whole, so what better way to end it than Brie, the Red Menace, and 8 interchangable chicks in a total cluster of a tag match? Brie's hot tag was cool and getting a win was a shockingly happy moment, and Eva got "You can't wrestle!" chants despite probably having the best performance lmao

-This show following NXT really was a bad idea. Watching how wrestling is actually supposed to be written followed up by this booty was jarring. Lita introducing the new Women's championship made me way angrier than I should have been despite it being the ulitmate nitpick, because the new girls introducing that belt would have been such a perfect way to enter into "the new era of women's wrestling". This and them putting someone over on the way out the door (in a meaningless tag) would be washed away soon since the women's match came off so well. Also I love how calling them "women" is such a term of endearment. Only in pro wrestling

-Usos vs Dudleys happened. Yep. Mmmhmmm. More good trash talk from heels at least! Push Bully Ray!

-That ladder match was so much fun! Don't know why but this one seemed much more fast-paced and entertaining than the last few years' editions. Cara splashing through the ladder bridge, Zayn's tornado DDT and (ridiculous) suicide dive. Two dudes running into ladders and Ryder being crotched after falling off one, this was CRAZY. Ryder winning was FANTASTIC TELEVISION. Man I was so happy for that guy, especially when he was celebrating backstage. Such infectious happiness! And hey, this wound up being much better than Zayn vs Owens one on one because WWE needs main event stars NOW and this kept Owens from having to job twice. This was such a success.

-Then Styles and Jericho happened, and I was even happier coming off that match... AJ Styles was set to have a big marquee victory and put on such a performance that he'll happily help bring a few casual fans watching their only show per year to watching even more. And the storyline being kinda weak coming in played off perfectly because it came across live as "AJ Styles is a hot newcomer that everyone loves and Jericho is just jealous that everyone loves AJ Styles so much and he's such a star". It played off that way too, with more "Anything you can do, I can do better" spots and Jericho's perfect frustration. Don't think it went on too long either, it felt like it was showcasing Styles's resiliency, and that Styles Clash kickout was mindblowing! (Good, that move sucks. Pipebomb smiley). Then Jericho won and this entire writeup was torn apart and set on fire... That made me make this face here ----> :blackshock: and really put me in a bad mood for the night. Then Styles won the #1 Contendership on Raw, because WWE in 2016

-BEST. ENTRANCE. EVER. Hahahahahaha this was great, but New Day vs LON was boring, because the League of Urination are boring and WWE Tag Matches are boring. LON won because they realized Wade Barrett on the outside where he can interfere is much more effective than Wade Barrett in the ring where he can get pinned. Then all the old men came out and beat them up and the old Rain you used to know @Leo C came back in full force. I hated this SO MUCH. It's not like anyone important was truly sacrificed here, but New Day losing to these losers who got punked out by 3 old men just doing tribute spots so everyone can have a beer today and the tag division can come across that much weaker in the future... This was so terrible. I've gotten a lot more lenient for legends and part-timers popping up, but stuff like this really grinds my gears.

-Then I got excited. Yes. Here it is, the match of the night. Dean Ambrose. Brock Lesnar. Street fight. Months of build. Ambrose getting help from legends who actually want to help the current generation. All these things going into it and it FUCKING BLEW. Suplex city, a fire extinguisher, BROCK FUCKING LESNAR playing keepaway with a kendo stick, Ambrose's girly punches, and a suplex that missed a mountain of chairs. That's it. This match felt like it was over in 5 minutes, Ambrose was clearly outclassed by The Beast Incarnate and the match itself has staying power on top of Worst Match of the Year lists. Ya know, Brock Lesnar ended the Undertaker's Undefeated Streak at Wrestlemania so he could put over Reigns at 31, but didn't, so who is this whole Lesnar thing going to benefit? I can't imagine who on the current roster is going to beat Lesnar at this point. Maybe Roman, but they've already chickened out of that. Anyway, after sitting through a Raw where we wonder "a fucking chainsaw, really, what on earth do they have planned with a chainsaw!?" but didn't imagine the answer was "he couldn't get it started so he got suplexed." Lucha Underground, Wednesday nights at 8 PM on the El Rey Network

-After that shitfest of a match, the one I was looking forward to most happened. It got a cool presentation as they debuted the new belt. Snoop introducing Sasha, and the commentators putting over her Eddie Guerrero gear was awesome. Same with Charlotte and the WM24 robe. Becky was also there. They took this seriously and the girls went out and busted their asses and had the best match on the show by a pretty large margin! They weren't hindered at all by the powers that be, they went full-speed and got to choreograph everything and it played out really, really well. Three great athletes at the top of their game to resurrect a division, this was great, great stuff. Disagreeing with the finish definitely felt like nitpicking to me as Sasha was well-protected here, and the confetti flew down and she posed with the new belt and all was right with the world. Again, if there's anything I'll look back on WM32 for, it's this. So it made it a good show!

-Shane and Taker took a nap for 20 minutes, then Shane hit an insane coast-to-coast dropkick and JUMPED OFF THE DAMN CELL. Hot damn, if Shane ever says hello to me I'll happily shake his hand and thank him for that. THAT WAS FREAKING INSANE!!! Shame it took so long to get there as it still didn't redeem how damn boring this match was. Then Taker won and... Okay to be honest I struggled to pay attention to it. Mostly because of following the women, but also because I just didn't believe in the stips at all. If Shane won, change wasn't gonna come anyway and Taker will be back with no explanation. The #1 reason why Takeover has a crowd that shows up with the intent to be raucous and has so many people putting it over is that I never make sentences like that one right there.

-SHAQ DIESEL BABY!!! Hahahahahahaha I marked out so hard for this! And random ass Tatanka and DDP. Laughed and marked harder for these guys being extras in a battle royal where they couldn't do any damage than those three assholes earlier. This show was fun again. Shaq throwing dudes out was entertaining, hell as battle royals go this was a better one... and it took me like 5 minutes to realize Baron Corbin was even in there, and I paid him no mind at this point since this whole show has been "screw the actual roster', but lo and behold Baron Corbin winning this was awesome and incredibly surprising! Thumbs up for this.

-Rock started talking and I fast forwarded.

-As much as I yelled that the HIAC match should have main evented, WWE made the right call here... kinda... I mean, when Roman won, I popped. Why? Because this show ended. This was SIX AND A HALF HOURS LONG and way way WAY too long even fast-forwarding through stuff. When Triple H went for chinlocks in this match I just lost it. Last thing I wanted to see after this long, mostly bad show was two dudes who hate each other exchanging holds in the middle of the show. I don't know how this was live, but it certainly had the vibe of "damn end this already lets go to bed!" This was boring and went forever and I really hate saying that because Triple H has secretly been killing it lately and Roman's fine, but a bunch of matches just had to go too long and they wanted this show to go on forever and... This could have been a good match, I don't really know, but even watching in parts I just wanted them to pull off the bandaid and let Roman win. And alas, he did, and there was a pop and then a big boo, because lol. Welcome to your new top heel, WWE, and all of his coolness.

And this review went way too long and lacked in good content. Perfect for this 3/10 show

 

[Mustafar Reginald]

So . . . it's been awhile hasn't it? I don't think anyone remembers this but in my last post I stated an intention to become more active on here. That it was back in 2014. I honestly had no idea why I thought I'd be able to find time during the holiday season but yeesh, did that not go well. For those who don't remember me or those who are new, I'm just a guy who use to be a big wrestling fan that quickly grew disinterested in the product. I also reviewed every PPV from 2013 despite disliking the product pretty heavily (I said at the beginning of the year I was going to do it & back then I kept my word). After I finished up critiquing I pretty much quit WWE, I hadn't seen a single show until WM31, which I intended to review on here but I couldn't find the time (in short, I thought the Seth Rollins stuff was brilliant but I can hardly remember what else happened on the show bar that stupid Sting match).

Luckily, I found the time to review WrestleMania 32 but before I get into that, I feel the need to explain my perspective since it's likely different from most of those who've already posted reviews. As you've probably already gathered, I did not follow the build to this, I have not followed WWE since last years Mania. The most I did was skim over the card on wikipedia. Hell, I found out who was in the ladder match by watching the entrances. If it wasn't a semi-tradition with my friend (who has the Network), I wouldn't have even bothered. So I'm not invested in any of the stories and I'm barely invested in any of the characters. Also, I skipped the pre-show because five hours was too god damn long as it is.

WrestleMania 32 Review

Wait, What the Fuck, Zack Ryder Won!?
If you had asked me who I pegged as the least likely person to win the Intercontinental Championship at Mania was, I would've said Sin Cara in a heartbeat. But Zack Ryder would've been a close second. That said, I'm a fan of the decision even if I hear they've already had him drop it (which makes sense, WWE clearly doesn't hold that much love for Zack Ryder). It was unpredictable & gave him a WrestleMania moment that he could be proud of (I love Eve but even I wouldn't want my biggest Mania moment to be her kicking me in the dick).

Results aside, this was a fine opener. There was plenty to like, I'm glad that everyone got a moment to shine. Everybody provided something to the match & managed to get the spotlight though only few stick out to me (Stardust's ladder, Dolph's super-kick mania & Sami's high-flying spots [he was the MVP of this match, his spots were amazing]). To be honest though, there were too much "wait" moments. The wrestlers didn't physically wait but there were several moments scattered throughout with the wrestlers moving as slowly as possible to set-up the ladder. Ziggler's moment were he climb up using only one-leg was the only time it didn't just feel like they were waiting for someone to stop them, instead feeling like a natural incorporation into the flow of the match. & I understand you can't really do these matches without having these rest moments, part of the reason I'm no longer into wrestling is because my tolerance for these spots has definitely lowered (though I will note, this was not an issue last year).

Match Rating: 6/10

Wait, What the Fuck, Chris Jericho Won!?
Much like the opener, the result of this match baffled me. Unlike the opener though, I don't really get this one. But I also don't get why they apparently had these guys fight like five times during the build to this match & just have a regular match for Mania. Mania's usually fresh matches, the return matches are for Backlash Payback. Anyway, Jericho's surprise Mania win (cause that guy almost never wins here), this was okay. To be honest, I was actually disappointed by it. After skimming the card, this is the only match I was looking forward to, the only one I expected to be good. It was good but a little standard, I guess? It didn't have that Mania feel but it did feel like a match trying to have that Mania feel. I'm probably not making much sense right now but I don't know how else to word it. Also, this will be a common theme in this review but it went on for too long. I think if it was trimmed down by two or three minutes, we would've gotten a much better match.

Match Rating: 6/10

Cole, What Does the Scouter Say About Their Power Level?
Well, it certainly wasn't anywhere near 9,000 because they didn't win (nobody with a special entrance did weirdly) but it's okay because it turns out this match was pretty stake-less. I somehow missed that this wasn't for the titles (admittedly, Free Bird rule or not, WWE probably would've had it be a 2 on 2 or maybe even a 4 on 2 had it been for the titles) so I was a little upset that this match amounted to nothing more than a bragging contest.

But really, it's purpose was just to set-up for that moment with Shawn, Mick & Austin. A moment that I could've done without. I've never been huge on nostalgia moments, since they're inherently devoid of any substance but this one in particular seemed more blatantly indulged in nostalgia as opposed to something more substantial than these usually are. I don't think it's impossible to find a balance between the two (speaking of Dragon Ball, the film Battle of Gods mixed the two elements perfectly [Resurrection of F though was more in line with WWE]) but WWE often opts to go the lazy route. I found little enjoyment out of seeing these legends show up to do nothing more than hit their finishers (& dance I guess) because their popular wrestlers synonymous with WrestleMania.

You may have noticed that despite rambling on for a long time I've yet to say anything about the actual match. There's a simple reason for that, I can't remember the match, like at all. I recall liking it though so I won't be that harsh in the ratings (or I wouldn't be but I'm going to factor in the post-match here, so I've knocked it down one point for that).

Match Rating: 4/10

Funny Thing About Expectations
Reading through this thread has lead me to believe that once again, I hold a dissenting view on at least two of the big matches for Mania. The first of those two matches would be Ambrose & Lesnar. & if I had to theorize to why I felt differently about this match from most everyone else it would be "expectation." As I said earlier, the only match I was looking forward to was AJ & Y2J yet I ended up liking this match more. It probably was even my favorite (though not the best match, that's up next) but going in, I didn't expect to like it, thanks to my less than favorable opinion on Dean Ambrose's wrestling (though, his character & promo work is fantastic). The hype video got me a little excited & the match, at least watching it with family & friends, was fun. It was far from a blood bath & most likely didn't deliver the brutality the build seemed to promise, so I understand the disappointment. But for me, seeing Lesnar dominate someone never gets old & I thought Ambrose was on-point here. He was confined to a few weapons but his personality did get shine through (with the barbed wire make-out & the chainsaw) and I like how he managed to realistically get an advantage over Lesnar using his one weakness (his dick). Plus, I liked the finish of the F-5 on the chairs.

It was a fun match for me, a bit repetitive & it's not going to be a rocket to the moon for Ambrose that many people were probably expecting/hoping for since he lost but I thought it worked well enough. & as I alluded to, watching it with other people & not watching the build likely did improve my opinion on it. & of course, not caring about the product certainly helps me ignore Lesnar winning as any kind of flaw.

Match Rating: 7/10

So These Are The Women I've Heard So Much About
If there's been one downside to my disinterest in wrestling, it's been missing NXT from what I hear. & the biggest downside to that was missing the Women's division in NXT. I can't tell you how much my friend praised Bayley vs. Sasha Banks to me, citing it as one of his all-time favorite matches. As a fan of women's wrestling, this interested me but never enough to actually set time aside to watch it. Despite that, I wasn't excited for this match because I was under the impression that WWE wasn't even going to give this five minutes, par for the course as it was when I watched. But it got more time than all but three matches & to me, that's the biggest distinction between the division now & then.

From what I saw here, I don't hold this women's as better wrestlers than most from the past (Trish Stratus, Lita, Molly Holly, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, Natalya [though she's still around, isn't she?], Mickie James, Michelle McCool, Victoria, Eve Torres & Melina off the top of my head) but they've definitely been given more chance to show off their talents instead of their assets. The three women here are clearly talented individuals & put on a great bout but it wasn't without it's flaws. I wasn't thrilled with the finish & there were a few sloppy moments. For example, it's impressive how badly Sasha messed up that sunset flip & Charlotte should probably stop doing the Figure 8 because she fumbled every time she went for the bridge. But it was still an entertaining bout.

As for the Women's Championship, it's a vast improvement over the Diva's Toy Belt. Can't say I'm thrilled with the color palette they went with but the idea of a palette swap WWE Championship is pretty cool, as it reinforces the value of the Championship in relation to the Diva's. This is their WWE Championship. However, I have one big issue with the belt, it doesn't keep the lineage of the original. Why go out of there way to show clips of the original Championship way back to the 80's, if the new belt was just going to disregard all that & contain it's own title history? There's a power in being first surely but the long storied history of a Championship can be a pretty effective tool. Ah well, nothing I can do about it I guess.

Match Rating: 8/10

As God as My Witness, He Is Broken in Half
Throughout the history of WWE, there are several spots & moments that have been forever etched into the minds of any WWE fan. Hogan slamming Andre, A blood-drenched Stone Cold refusing to tap to Bret, Rock & Hogan's face-off at X8, Lita's nipple & perhaps the most beloved off all those, Undertaker throwing Mankind off the Cell. Not only is that spot beloved but that match is highly regarded among most wrestling fans. However, to be honest, I find that match to be one of the worst HIAC's back before WWE turned them into just another gimmick. Granted, it was still light-years ahead of the worst one from that era (Nash vs. Trips) but it does not rank within my top five. & I love that famous spot, & I like the spot through the cell even better. But the match continued for a good while after that, & it wasn't very interesting.

The question with that match & this one here, is how much value do you place on a singular spot? Shane's elbow off the Cell was incredibly, one of the best spots in WWE history, certainly one of the most risky (I can't really think of anything that beats it there but I'm covering my ass in case Lockard or Stopstop are still around to point out a better one) however most of the match was incredibly dull. Shane's offense consisted off nothing more than punches & weak looking submissions for the longest time & Undertaker wasn't much better. It got better once they left the Cell but 30 minutes was too much for a match that doesn't amount to much more than one incredible spot. As for the question I posed to myself, my take has always been this, I'm not going to be revisiting the matches, I'll be revisiting the spot. There's little reason to watch all of Taker/Mankind & absolutely no reason to revisit Shane/Taker in full, if I want to see the spot, I'm just going to watch the clip online. The spot gives value to the matches existence but it does give a reason to watch the match.

Match Rating: 4/10

Filler Royal
I'm going to level with you guys, I was just about done finalizing the show rating when I realized that I had completely forgotten about the Battle Royal. For a match involving Tatanka, DDP & Shaq, it's impressive how forgettable it truly was. The only real positives I have to say about it our the participants, which is a pretty bad sign. Though, I do like that someone new won, though from my understanding, winning this is essentially meaningless but it's still good that at least one newer guy got to go over the more established wrestlers.

Match Rating: 4/10

6 Second Match, 60 Minute Segment
Okay, it didn't last 60 minutes, I think it was close to thirty minutes at least, which was way too long. Rock with the flamethrower was slightly cool I guess but he took forever to use it because, with the exception of wrestling, Rock takes his sweet time with pretty much everything. This segment had the speed of a snail moving at a leisurely pace. I don't really care about the Wyatts coming out to eviscerate The Rock only to get eviscerated themselves (Pro-tip Bray, next time, don't tell the person you're plan & then patiently wait so said person can make fun of you for five minutes straight [also, don't agree to his terms for a fair match]) but I certainly didn't find it very entertaining. I normally don't include segments into the review but considering the inordinate amount of time we spent with this one & how soul-suckingly boring it was, I'm counting it. I really didn't think The Rock would have a segment worse than the one last year with Ronda.

Match Rating:1/10

Dear God End Already or Have Stephanie Take off Her Jacket
Basically, those were the only two thoughts going though my head during the main event of WrestleMania. The former partly because the PPV had been going on for a long time & had stopped being good over an hour ago but the match itself was painfully dull & at 27 minutes, went on way longer than it should've. The only part of the match I really liked that didn't involve Stephanie McMahon, was that neckbreaker spot on Roman. The rest of the match was either flat-out boring or something I've seen plenty of times before. The Spear through the barricade had the same build & emphasis to it as the ones in the video games do. & Reigns constant Superman punches weren't that engaging. I also want to say they repeated a spot immediately at one point but my memory on it is actually kinda fuzzy. I don't share the fervent hatred for Roman that most of the IWC seem to but I share their distaste for the situation WWE created here & their refusal to make accommodations to their plan based on the negative fan reaction. This is a main event that makes it pretty easy to stay away from the product.

& for the latter, my avatar on this site was at one point just a photo of her ass from that time she announced Mr. America on Smackdown. Of course, pervy thoughts were dominating my mind, not like the match itself had anything to offer.

Match Rating:2/10

Show Rating: 4.2/10​

Just for reference, out of the 11 PPV's I reviewed in 2013, only two PPV's rated lower than this, Night of Champions (which got a 3.9) & WrestleMania XXIX (which got a 3.8). Pretty bad Mania overall, which is upsetting because I liked quite a bit of it. The first act was good, the second act was great but that third act was an overly long train-wreck. If I was more attached to the product & invested in who won & lost, I probably would've rated the overall show lower but I don't think it would've gotten lower than XXIX, which was abysmal pretty much all around (my highest score from that show was 5). Also, if my show ratings were weighted instead of just the average, both these Mania's would've scored lower, which is upsetting to think about. Anyway, with that all said, I don't imagine I'll remain very active on here post-this post but even if this is my last post until next Mania, at least I made it an uncomfortably long one.

 

[The GOAT]

Good to see you again , Mustafar. Even if it is just a one-time appearance. (Props for remembering my name after all this time as well.)

 

[CM Punk]

So . . . it's been awhile hasn't it? I don't think anyone remembers this but in my last post I stated an intention to become more active on here. That it was back in 2014. I honestly had no idea why I thought I'd be able to find time during the holiday season but yeesh, did that not go well. For those who don't remember me or those who are new, I'm just a guy who use to be a big wrestling fan that quickly grew disinterested in the product. I also reviewed every PPV from 2013 despite disliking the product pretty heavily (I said at the beginning of the year I was going to do it & back then I kept my word). After I finished up critiquing I pretty much quit WWE, I hadn't seen a single show until WM31, which I intended to review on here but I couldn't find the time (in short, I thought the Seth Rollins stuff was brilliant but I can hardly remember what else happened on the show bar that stupid Sting match).

Luckily, I found the time to review WrestleMania 32 but before I get into that, I feel the need to explain my perspective since it's likely different from most of those who've already posted reviews. As you've probably already gathered, I did not follow the build to this, I have not followed WWE since last years Mania. The most I did was skim over the card on wikipedia. Hell, I found out who was in the ladder match by watching the entrances. If it wasn't a semi-tradition with my friend (who has the Network), I wouldn't have even bothered. So I'm not invested in any of the stories and I'm barely invested in any of the characters. Also, I skipped the pre-show because five hours was too god damn long as it is.

WrestleMania 32 Review

Wait, What the Fuck, Zack Ryder Won!?
If you had asked me who I pegged as the least likely person to win the Intercontinental Championship at Mania was, I would've said Sin Cara in a heartbeat. But Zack Ryder would've been a close second. That said, I'm a fan of the decision even if I hear they've already had him drop it (which makes sense, WWE clearly doesn't hold that much love for Zack Ryder). It was unpredictable & gave him a WrestleMania moment that he could be proud of (I love Eve but even I wouldn't want my biggest Mania moment to be her kicking me in the dick).

Results aside, this was a fine opener. There was plenty to like, I'm glad that everyone got a moment to shine. Everybody provided something to the match & managed to get the spotlight though only few stick out to me (Stardust's ladder, Dolph's super-kick mania & Sami's high-flying spots [he was the MVP of this match, his spots were amazing]). To be honest though, there were too much "wait" moments. The wrestlers didn't physically wait but there were several moments scattered throughout with the wrestlers moving as slowly as possible to set-up the ladder. Ziggler's moment were he climb up using only one-leg was the only time it didn't just feel like they were waiting for someone to stop them, instead feeling like a natural incorporation into the flow of the match. & I understand you can't really do these matches without having these rest moments, part of the reason I'm no longer into wrestling is because my tolerance for these spots has definitely lowered (though I will note, this was not an issue last year).

Match Rating: 6/10

Wait, What the Fuck, Chris Jericho Won!?
Much like the opener, the result of this match baffled me. Unlike the opener though, I don't really get this one. But I also don't get why they apparently had these guys fight like five times during the build to this match & just have a regular match for Mania. Mania's usually fresh matches, the return matches are for Backlash Payback. Anyway, Jericho's surprise Mania win (cause that guy almost never wins here), this was okay. To be honest, I was actually disappointed by it. After skimming the card, this is the only match I was looking forward to, the only one I expected to be good. It was good but a little standard, I guess? It didn't have that Mania feel but it did feel like a match trying to have that Mania feel. I'm probably not making much sense right now but I don't know how else to word it. Also, this will be a common theme in this review but it went on for too long. I think if it was trimmed down by two or three minutes, we would've gotten a much better match.

Match Rating: 6/10

Cole, What Does the Scouter Say About Their Power Level?
Well, it certainly wasn't anywhere near 9,000 because they didn't win (nobody with a special entrance did weirdly) but it's okay because it turns out this match was pretty stake-less. I somehow missed that this wasn't for the titles (admittedly, Free Bird rule or not, WWE probably would've had it be a 2 on 2 or maybe even a 4 on 2 had it been for the titles) so I was a little upset that this match amounted to nothing more than a bragging contest.

But really, it's purpose was just to set-up for that moment with Shawn, Mick & Austin. A moment that I could've done without. I've never been huge on nostalgia moments, since they're inherently devoid of any substance but this one in particular seemed more blatantly indulged in nostalgia as opposed to something more substantial than these usually are. I don't think it's impossible to find a balance between the two (speaking of Dragon Ball, the film Battle of Gods mixed the two elements perfectly [Resurrection of F though was more in line with WWE]) but WWE often opts to go the lazy route. I found little enjoyment out of seeing these legends show up to do nothing more than hit their finishers (& dance I guess) because their popular wrestlers synonymous with WrestleMania.

You may have noticed that despite rambling on for a long time I've yet to say anything about the actual match. There's a simple reason for that, I can't remember the match, like at all. I recall liking it though so I won't be that harsh in the ratings (or I wouldn't be but I'm going to factor in the post-match here, so I've knocked it down one point for that).

Match Rating: 4/10

Funny Thing About Expectations
Reading through this thread has lead me to believe that once again, I hold a dissenting view on at least two of the big matches for Mania. The first of those two matches would be Ambrose & Lesnar. & if I had to theorize to why I felt differently about this match from most everyone else it would be "expectation." As I said earlier, the only match I was looking forward to was AJ & Y2J yet I ended up liking this match more. It probably was even my favorite (though not the best match, that's up next) but going in, I didn't expect to like it, thanks to my less than favorable opinion on Dean Ambrose's wrestling (though, his character & promo work is fantastic). The hype video got me a little excited & the match, at least watching it with family & friends, was fun. It was far from a blood bath & most likely didn't deliver the brutality the build seemed to promise, so I understand the disappointment. But for me, seeing Lesnar dominate someone never gets old & I thought Ambrose was on-point here. He was confined to a few weapons but his personality did get shine through (with the barbed wire make-out & the chainsaw) and I like how he managed to realistically get an advantage over Lesnar using his one weakness (his dick). Plus, I liked the finish of the F-5 on the chairs.

It was a fun match for me, a bit repetitive & it's not going to be a rocket to the moon for Ambrose that many people were probably expecting/hoping for since he lost but I thought it worked well enough. & as I alluded to, watching it with other people & not watching the build likely did improve my opinion on it. & of course, not caring about the product certainly helps me ignore Lesnar winning as any kind of flaw.

Match Rating: 7/10

So These Are The Women I've Heard So Much About
If there's been one downside to my disinterest in wrestling, it's been missing NXT from what I hear. & the biggest downside to that was missing the Women's division in NXT. I can't tell you how much my friend praised Bayley vs. Sasha Banks to me, citing it as one of his all-time favorite matches. As a fan of women's wrestling, this interested me but never enough to actually set time aside to watch it. Despite that, I wasn't excited for this match because I was under the impression that WWE wasn't even going to give this five minutes, par for the course as it was when I watched. But it got more time than all but three matches & to me, that's the biggest distinction between the division now & then.

From what I saw here, I don't hold this women's as better wrestlers than most from the past (Trish Stratus, Lita, Molly Holly, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, Natalya [though she's still around, isn't she?], Mickie James, Michelle McCool, Victoria, Eve Torres & Melina off the top of my head) but they've definitely been given more chance to show off their talents instead of their assets. The three women here are clearly talented individuals & put on a great bout but it wasn't without it's flaws. I wasn't thrilled with the finish & there were a few sloppy moments. For example, it's impressive how badly Sasha messed up that sunset flip & Charlotte should probably stop doing the Figure 8 because she fumbled every time she went for the bridge. But it was still an entertaining bout.

As for the Women's Championship, it's a vast improvement over the Diva's Toy Belt. Can't say I'm thrilled with the color palette they went with but the idea of a palette swap WWE Championship is pretty cool, as it reinforces the value of the Championship in relation to the Diva's. This is their WWE Championship. However, I have one big issue with the belt, it doesn't keep the lineage of the original. Why go out of there way to show clips of the original Championship way back to the 80's, if the new belt was just going to disregard all that & contain it's own title history? There's a power in being first surely but the long storied history of a Championship can be a pretty effective tool. Ah well, nothing I can do about it I guess.

Match Rating: 8/10

As God as My Witness, He Is Broken in Half
Throughout the history of WWE, there are several spots & moments that have been forever etched into the minds of any WWE fan. Hogan slamming Andre, A blood-drenched Stone Cold refusing to tap to Bret, Rock & Hogan's face-off at X8, Lita's nipple & perhaps the most beloved off all those, Undertaker throwing Mankind off the Cell. Not only is that spot beloved but that match is highly regarded among most wrestling fans. However, to be honest, I find that match to be one of the worst HIAC's back before WWE turned them into just another gimmick. Granted, it was still light-years ahead of the worst one from that era (Nash vs. Trips) but it does not rank within my top five. & I love that famous spot, & I like the spot through the cell even better. But the match continued for a good while after that, & it wasn't very interesting.

The question with that match & this one here, is how much value do you place on a singular spot? Shane's elbow off the Cell was incredibly, one of the best spots in WWE history, certainly one of the most risky (I can't really think of anything that beats it there but I'm covering my ass in case Lockard or Stopstop are still around to point out a better one) however most of the match was incredibly dull. Shane's offense consisted off nothing more than punches & weak looking submissions for the longest time & Undertaker wasn't much better. It got better once they left the Cell but 30 minutes was too much for a match that doesn't amount to much more than one incredible spot. As for the question I posed to myself, my take has always been this, I'm not going to be revisiting the matches, I'll be revisiting the spot. There's little reason to watch all of Taker/Mankind & absolutely no reason to revisit Shane/Taker in full, if I want to see the spot, I'm just going to watch the clip online. The spot gives value to the matches existence but it does give a reason to watch the match.

Match Rating: 4/10

Filler Royal
I'm going to level with you guys, I was just about done finalizing the show rating when I realized that I had completely forgotten about the Battle Royal. For a match involving Tatanka, DDP & Shaq, it's impressive how forgettable it truly was. The only real positives I have to say about it our the participants, which is a pretty bad sign. Though, I do like that someone new won, though from my understanding, winning this is essentially meaningless but it's still good that at least one newer guy got to go over the more established wrestlers.

Match Rating: 4/10

6 Second Match, 60 Minute Segment
Okay, it didn't last 60 minutes, I think it was close to thirty minutes at least, which was way too long. Rock with the flamethrower was slightly cool I guess but he took forever to use it because, with the exception of wrestling, Rock takes his sweet time with pretty much everything. This segment had the speed of a snail moving at a leisurely pace. I don't really care about the Wyatts coming out to eviscerate The Rock only to get eviscerated themselves (Pro-tip Bray, next time, don't tell the person you're plan & then patiently wait so said person can make fun of you for five minutes straight [also, don't agree to his terms for a fair match]) but I certainly didn't find it very entertaining. I normally don't include segments into the review but considering the inordinate amount of time we spent with this one & how soul-suckingly boring it was, I'm counting it. I really didn't think The Rock would have a segment worse than the one last year with Ronda.

Match Rating:1/10

Dear God End Already or Have Stephanie Take off Her Jacket
Basically, those were the only two thoughts going though my head during the main event of WrestleMania. The former partly because the PPV had been going on for a long time & had stopped being good over an hour ago but the match itself was painfully dull & at 27 minutes, went on way longer than it should've. The only part of the match I really liked that didn't involve Stephanie McMahon, was that neckbreaker spot on Roman. The rest of the match was either flat-out boring or something I've seen plenty of times before. The Spear through the barricade had the same build & emphasis to it as the ones in the video games do. & Reigns constant Superman punches weren't that engaging. I also want to say they repeated a spot immediately at one point but my memory on it is actually kinda fuzzy. I don't share the fervent hatred for Roman that most of the IWC seem to but I share their distaste for the situation WWE created here & their refusal to make accommodations to their plan based on the negative fan reaction. This is a main event that makes it pretty easy to stay away from the product.

& for the latter, my avatar on this site was at one point just a photo of her ass from that time she announced Mr. America on Smackdown. Of course, pervy thoughts were dominating my mind, not like the match itself had anything to offer.

Match Rating:2/10

Show Rating: 4.2/10​

Just for reference, out of the 11 PPV's I reviewed in 2013, only two PPV's rated lower than this, Night of Champions (which got a 3.9) & WrestleMania XXIX (which got a 3.8). Pretty bad Mania overall, which is upsetting because I liked quite a bit of it. The first act was good, the second act was great but that third act was an overly long train-wreck. If I was more attached to the product & invested in who won & lost, I probably would've rated the overall show lower but I don't think it would've gotten lower than XXIX, which was abysmal pretty much all around (my highest score from that show was 5). Also, if my show ratings were weighted instead of just the average, both these Mania's would've scored lower, which is upsetting to think about. Anyway, with that all said, I don't imagine I'll remain very active on here post-this post but even if this is my last post until next Mania, at least I made it an uncomfortably long one.