AND NOW UWF PRESENTS THE FIRST EVER!!!
Live from the Amway Center in Orlando Florida
The Pyros explode signaling the first ever show is underway. The lights and ramp are in an orange hue the color chosen for the 4th brand. Everyone is completely amazed seeing as the show literally was just name 4 days ago and yet here we are live. The superstars are ready to go as we head to the ringside team consisting off the legendary team of Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield.
Michael Cole:Welcome one and all to the first ever edition of Thursday Night iMPACT! I'm Michael Cole the legendary commentator, greatest of all time you've seen on Raw, and on Smackdown and now I'm here on iMPACT!
JBL:You also got fired from Raw and Smackdown Cole, but I guess its all good because somehow you are still employed. I'm John Bradshaw Layfield, I'm the brains of the operation here. And I'll be trying hard not to make Michael annoy you. With that said let's talk a little about the action we are about to see.
Cole: That's right tonight we are going to see a first in the UWF with the Gaunlet for Gold match. A 30 man royal rumble so to speak in August can you believe it JBL.
JBL: That's insane Michael. And I'll be honest with you, if we're going to see this kind of insanity weekly, iMPACT will definitely be the place to be!
Cole: We've also got two other matches tonight consisting of some of the best performers in the UWF. The Icon Sting goes head to head with some Arab guy what was his name again?
JBL: Muhammed Hassan dumb ass! He isn't going to like you forgetting his name. But we've also got in our opening contest Rob Van Dam taking on the instant classic Christian. And that's a match I want to see.
Cole: And now we're going to meet our General Manager who is rumored to be quiet the nice guy!
Joseph Park steps out from behind the curtains to a rather loud roar from the fans; stunning Joseph Park on the spot before he bumbles down the entrance ramp, the fans going wild as Park wipes off the sweat from his forehead before getting into ring, he looks around the place in absolute shock before taking a microphone.
Joseph Park: M-M-My name is Joseph Park and I am the General Manager of UWF Impact!
The fans go nuts for Joseph Park who is overwhelmed with excitement but he is also anxious about being the general manager.
Joseph Park: I originally came to UWF to look for my brother, Christopher also known as Abyss but he disappeared off the face of the earth but Vince McMahon decided he would keep me feeling I was too good around the office for him to let go of me and then he told me that there was a job vacancy to be General Manager of Impact and quite frankly, I jumped at the opportunity!
Joseph Park pauses and looks around before going again.
Joseph Park: And I hope I can deliver a good enough job to please you and all those boys in the back!
[video=youtube;LAjZek1hCpU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAjZek1hCpU[/video]
Cole: What’s this all about?
The crowd boos loudly as Joseph Park turns towards the stage not sure what’s going on either, out from the back Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari walk out on stage. Hassan looks around the arena from one side to the other, taking in the entire Impact zone before finally spitting down on the ground symbolically spitting the face of the booing crowd. Both men begin to walk down the ramp, devious smile on Hassans face.
JBL: That’s Muhammad Hassan Michael, We’ve just started and you already don’t know the names of the talent. This is going to be a long night.
Cole: What I meant John was Why is Muhammad Hassan coming out here, This is the General Managers time to introduce the show there is no reason for him to be out here.
Hassan walks up the steel steps and steps into the ring as Daivari follows him, staring across the ring at the General Manager.
Muhammad Hassan: My name is Muhammad Hassan, I introduce myself to you because I was never supposed to be signed to UWF I signed a contract originally meant for my associate Khosrow Daivari. I’m out here because you said you want to please all the boys in the back, and I’m here to ask if that includes me. Because I know that when people talk about the freedom of speech to all Americans, they turn around and say I should remain silent simply because I am Arab American.
Joseph nods no, as if not understanding why Hassan would think that.
Muhammad Hassan: Well then, let me inform you of how you can please Khosrow and I. First off we are the future of this brand, and as such we deserve that treatment. So what we need is a separate private locker room where I don’t have to occupy my time with people giving me cold stares. And I demand a direct line to you at all times so that when injustice shows it’s ugly head You will handle my problem directly. And lastly, I need my match against Sting canceled because it is not fair for me to wrestle a match before competing in the Gauntlet match while the rest of the roster only has that to worry about.
Hassan lowers his microphone as he stares at Joseph Park with an angry look on his face expecting some kind of response.
Joseph Park: N-n-now look here, I might be looking out to make the best decisions possible for everybody but I am not going to sent a president of giving into your demands! I will not cancel your match against because it is not fair on the fans and I wouldn't want them to look to file a lawsuit against the company for false advertisement! What I can offer you is a removal from the Gauntlet for the Gold but I will not deny these fans of a match, do you understand me Mister Hassan? As for those cold stares from your fellow colleagues, you can fill out a discrimination form and I will follow through with it and be sure to deal with the matter severely, how does that sound?
Muhammad Hassan: That sounds...that sounds like yet another instance of the prejudice and injustice shown towards me on a daily basis. Unfair to the fans? These people are unfair to me, they boo me for no other reason other than being of Arab Descent, and yet you prefer to be Unfair to me just so you won't be unfair to them? They don't deserve special treatment and yet you stand there defending them for treating me and my people terribly, You are no better than the rest of them. You want me to fill out a "discrimination form" just so you can throw that form away and say You've dealt with it, well it took a lot of work to get here and now that my name is on a contract I am going to make sure it was worth it. I will no longer turn the other cheek, from now on if I am not shown respect then I will beat it out of Anyone who dares discriminate me.
Daivari takes a couple steps to the side separating from Hassan as they stand two angles across from Park, Daivari raises a microphone getting Parks attention
Khosrow Daivari: أي شخص...
As Park looks at Daivari in concerned confusion Hassan jolts forward kicking him in the gut, the crowd boos as Daivari runs forward and both men start throwing clubbing blow after clubbing blow across the back of the general manager bringing him down to his knees.
Cole: What in gods name is going on, Muhammad Hassan has no right to put his hands on the General Manager
JBL: He felt discriminated against Michael, he is fighting back against injustice I am proud of this man.
Cole: You're proud of this?
Hassan turns around and raises his hands up as he looks up towards the heavens, the crowd boos him but as he has his back turn Park manages to do a double leg takedown on the smaller Daivari. The crowd erupt as Park throws frantic punches trying to fight back, Hassan turns around and notices this and immediately dives towards him getting him off of his manager. Hassan gets Park on his back and holds his head up with his left arm and starts raining down measured right hand shots to his forehead. Hassan finally ends the punches and turns Park to his stomach, standing over him he raises his hands again in his signature pose before he crouches down on his knees and brings Parks arms over them as he wrenches on the Camel Clutch. The crowd are booing loudly once more as Hassan screams out as he wrenches the hold as hard as he can, Daivari gets up and starts yelling in Parks grimacing face in Arabic.
Cole: I can't believe this is no one going to stop this madman
JBL: Joseph Park started it by attacking Daivari
Cole: You're kidding me right
JBL: No Michael, he's the general manager he has no right to put his hands on a superstar let alone a manager.
Finally referee and backstage hands run towards the ring, sliding in the officials are yelling at Daivari to get out of the way as they tell Hassan to release the hold. Muhammad keeps wrenching on the Camel Clutch until the officials hook up unto his arms and all start to pull trying to get his grip off of him, mercifully Hassan finally lets go of the General Manager standing up straight as the officials are reprimanding him and yelling for him to back off. Hassan however is ignoring them as his eyes are locked on the body of the General Manger that lays at his feet, Hassan spits down toward the GM as the referees force him to back off. Both men leave the ring, and as they do the crowd showers them with boos as they look proud of what they've done while the officials check on Joseph.
Cole: The first night of this mans opportunity at leading a brand and this tragedy occurs, and look at them they are proud of what they've done to a defenseless General Manager.
UWF iMPACT comes back from a commercial break and we are immediately taken backstage to where we see the presence of the Great Khali. The Great Khali remains unmoving however for he is meditating, probably for his big match yet to come later tonight where he will have a shot at becoming the first ever Global Champion. Ranjin Singh comes into the frame and kneels next to his brother and begins to speak.
Ranjin Singh: What you are witnessing here right now is the Great Khali preparing himself mentally as well as physically for tonight’s contest. A gauntlet match to declare the first ever UWF Global Champion, a match Joseph Park believes can be won by an Austin Aries or even perhaps a Rob Van Dam. But the real winner tonight, the first ever Global Champion, will be the Great Khali!
The crowd let out some heat to which Ranjin Singh does not bother him. Ranjin is sure the Great Khali will be victorious here tonight.
And can there be any doubt? For tonight not only will the Great Khali be the biggest and the strongest competitor, but he is not merely fighting for just himself. Oh no! My brother, the Great King that he is, fights for all his noble followers back in the greatest nation in the World India. The Great Khali is going to put India on the map when he becomes Global Champion and defeats opponents from all over the world to do it. And does that make a great champion? A King fighting for his people’s honor, and that is exactly what is going to happen tonight. For the Great Khali is no mere mortal, the Great Khali is no mere man. The Great Khali is the greatest specimen to ever walk the earth. He is the greatest superstar of all time never to win a World Title in UWF, and that will change tonight!
The crowd again boo realizing they don’t want a big tall dumbass who can’t wrestle as their champion. Ranjin Singh, the consummate pro, continues on.
Tonight all of India and all of the World will celebrate the victory of the Raja. For there is no better crown for India’s King than the Global Championship. And to all of those who wish to stand and oppose the Great Khali, be warned. It will be the very last thing you ever do!
Singh smiles and laughs as the camera zooms in on the Great Khali who has yet to move and is still in deep meditation. It sits on the Great Khali’s face a moment before turning the attention back to the ring.
ONE OF A KIND!
[video=youtube;sA5UkR4JDM8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA5UkR4JDM8[/video]
Rob Van Dam emerges from the back with the first hit of the guitar riffs. "One of a Kind" by Breaking Point plays throughout the arena and the fans go mad as Rob Van Dam stands under the titantron. RVD is talking to himself as he points to the crowd smiling bright as he stops mid-ramp in time to lift both hands up to point at himself in tune with the announcer.
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first from Battle Creek, Michigan: Rob...Van...Dam!
He then high fives a few people standing in the corner of the barricade. After that he rolls in the ring under the bottom rope, quickly gets up and makes his classic RVD signature pose, while pointing with his thumbs at himself once more. He looks around, shrugging for a moment as if saying "all these cheers for me" when suddenly his entrance song is interrupted with another.
[video=youtube;sFd410OWhCc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFd410OWhCc[/video]
Everyone are on their feet as Take Over hits the PA System. Christian comes out from backstage and crowd roars Christian looks at his peeps putting his hand over his eyes keeping the lights away from his eyes as he looks out far throughout the audience.
Finkel: And his opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada: Christian
Christian makes his way down the ramp as he slaps the same hands rob did on his way down, looking at his opponent he nods before sliding into the ring and standing across from him.
Ding Ding Ding
Christian and Van Dam stare across the ring at one another, both turn their heads slightly as they look at the audience taking in the new setting of Impact fully before they turn back to one another. Both of them lift their hands up, both taking a grapplers stance as they approach one another. They get the idea to strike at the same time as they both go into a collar-elbow tie up, As they struggle for position, Christian suddenly takes a step back and pulls him in getting a side headlock. Rob moves his hands up pushing Christians head off to the side trying to get him to let go but it doesn’t seem to be working, Rob steps back towards the ropes looking to send Christian running but after one step Christian drops to one knee bringing Rob flipping forward and landing him on his back as he wrenches on the headlock more. Van Dam extends both hands up trying to push Christians head away as he attempts to keep his shoulders off the mat while trying to find a way out of the headlock, after a moment or two Rob moves his leg up as far as he can and manages to bring it around the front of Christians neck. The added strength allowing Rob to break the headlock and get a head scissors on Christian at the same time, Christian puts both hands on Robs leg and lifts both legs up and seemingly goes for a kick up, the sudden jerking motion allowing him to get free from the head scissors. Rob and Christian both scramble to their feet, Rob suddenly twist around extending a leg out for a spinning heel kick. Christian ducks the kick and in that same twisting motion Rob moves his leg down going for a leg sweep once he rotates completely, this time Christian jumps up just in time to avoid it. As Rob stops spinning, standing up straight his legs are swept from under him in a double leg takedown. Christian flips over and gets a jackknife cover.
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Rob extends his arms out and tries to clap his hand, the effect of which bringing both of his arms slamming on Chrisitians sides making him let go of the pin. Rob sits up rolling Christian to his shoulders for a pin of his own.
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Christian rolls the rest of the way backwards to his hands and knees, Christian quickly lifts Robs legs up forcing him back on his back as he pushes down on his legs with his shoulders stacking him up for a cover
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Rob kicks out by straightening out his whole body and forcing Christian off of him and to his feet as Rob tries to get up as fast as possible. That opportunity is used to Christians advantage as Christian gets behind Rob and hooks his arms with his back to him, seemingly going for a backslide. Rob seems to be fighting it, Christian can feel the struggle so instead of going for the backslide he bends over which brings Rob rolling across his back and to his feet right in front of Christian. Immediately seeing him land on his face, Christian goes for a kick to the gut but Rob catches it. He hops up on one foot for a moment as Rob moves one leg over the leg he caught rolling in one fluid motion as he brings his calf across Christians face knocking him down to the mat. As Christian lays on his back, he stands up straight and look up into the cheering crowd he suddenly hits the ropes, dropping to the floor and rolling across the ring until he gets back to his feet, once there he leaps up rolling in the air and hitting Rolling Thunder across Christians sternum. Van Dam arches his back in pain before going for the cover
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Shoulder up
Cole: Well both these guys know each other well; this back and forth is no surprise.
Rob looks at the referee for a second, making sure it wasn’t three before he pulls Christian up to his feet and sends him into the corner. Rob charges head first and drives his shoulder into Christians sternum, he pulls back slightly and again drives his shoulder into the sternum before finally flipping backwards to his hands landing on his feet. Rob charges forward looking for a monkey flip as he jumps up in the air, but Christian shifts his legs over through the ropes getting his body out of the way. Robs leap lands him feet first on the second rope and his hands on the top rope making sure he’s got his balance, but in that moment Christian falls backwards like a see-saw moving his feet straight up catching him right on the side of the head. The impact causes Robs body to go limp in mid-air as his body tumbles off the second rope and landing on the hard mat. Christian brings himself back up right and brings his legs back into the ring while Rob dizzyingly tries to push himself up off the mat
Cole: picture perfect counter by Christian, I don’t even know what you’d call that.
JBL: I call it effective, Robs unorthodox style helps him win matches but Christian seems to have him scouted
As Rob gets his feet under him, Christian grabs him by the back of the hair bending him over backwards as he hooks his head under his arm. Christian falls straight back hitting a modified reverse DDT, Christian quickly hooks up both Robs legs
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Shoulder up
RVD manages to pop the shoulder up much to Christians chagrin, he pulls Rob up and shoves him into the corner similar to how RVD did before. Christian immediately goes for an Irish-whip, but Rob reverses it and sends Christian into the corner, who stops himself before he hits the turnbuckle placing both hands on the top rope stopping injury. Van Dam charges forward, but runs right into a backwards kick to the gut by Christian, that doubles him over in pain. Christian jumps up on the second rope looking for his patent leapfrog sunset flip roll up but before he can bounce off the ropes Rob shoves both of Christians legs forward off the rope and making him land awkwardly on the ropes tangled up. Christian is out of it on the ropes and Rob takes this moment to take a step back and run forward, spinning around he brings his leg up and hits a spinning back kick on the back of Chrisitans neck. The impact making Christian drop straight back with his legs caught on the ropes as he hits the mat hard, Rob pulls on his arms dragging him off the ropes setting him up in the corner before he leaps over Christians body and bounces up as he clasp his hands on the ropes he splits his legs and bounces off the top rope for the Split Legged Moonsault. Christian however manages to get both knees up and Rob lands chest and ribs first on his knees, squirming on the mat in pain.
Cole: Ouch, Rob Van Dam is in serious pain right now.
Christian pulls himself up in the corner, crouched down he stares across the ring at Rob he lifts his hand up telling him to get up seemingly looking for a spear.
JBL: Pain? Michael, Rob is in serious trouble because Christian is looking for something big here.
Rob gets up to his feet holding his ribs as he coughs in pain, turning around Christian bolts out of the corner. RVD leapfrogs over Christian, but Christian notices this just in time to stop before he goes too far. As Rob lands on his feet Christian has already turned around and pulls Robs head back bending him backwards and hooking his head under his arm once more seemingly looking for a repeat of the DDT. This time, RVD is struggling trying to fight out of it. Rob finally manages to turn hooking Christians head with his arm as he turns from behind backwards to forwards in a suplex position. Van Dam lifts him up for a vertical suplex, but Christian kicks his legs in the air causing him to slip to one side falling behind Rob and landing right on his feet. Once there Christian hooks both of Robs arms back for the Killswitch.
Cole: Here we go! Killswitch engage
Rob struggles but Christian slowly turns him around fully only needing to drop down to hit the move, but before he can Rob gets his arms look and puts his head under Christians arm. Rob lifts him up for a back suplex but again Christian flips backwards and lands on his feet behind him, Christian grabs rob by the back of the head and heads to the corner going to slam him face first on the turnbuckle. But as he pulls his head back to aim Rob manages to lift his foot up putting it on the top turnbuckle stopping Christian from slamming his face, Rob drops his foot down and immediately lifts it up again this time smacking Christian square in the side of the face with a loud smacking kick. The crowd collectively “ooh†as Christian falls backwards stumbling a bit before dropping to his back, Rob falls forward catching himself from falling by hooking his arms on the top rope. The crowd cheer seeing the position Rob is in, as RVD looks around he notices himself, he grabs the top rope and suddenly leaps up in the air, turning in mid-air he finds his footing on the top rope in one swift motion. The crowd all stand up as RVD stands up straight noticing Christian is not in the ideal position for the move he’s looking for, but instead of thinking about it for too long Rob leaps up in the air, simultaneously curling into a ball and twisting slightly in the air as he suddenly extends out he has shifted his body 90 degrees perfectly as he hits an amazing Five Star Frog Splash. The crowd erupt as Rob bounces off of Christians worked over sternum, holding his own ribs in pain before moving back on top of him and hooking the far leg.
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Finkel: Here is your Winner, Rob Van Dam.
Cole: What a Five-Star Frogsplash, and Rob Van Dam gains Major momentum headed into the Gauntlet for the Gold.
Rob gets his hand raised as he holds his sternum in pain, having hurt himself from the splash.
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Deadpool Max!
Still as weird as the Teen version >.>!
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Ding Ding
Howard Finkle
The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is an Impact prospect match where the winner will receive a contract with UWF and immediately join the Impact roster. Already in the ring, from Seattle, Washington, John Smith!
Smith raises his arms and has a mean scowl on his face. His look soon turns to confusion when the titantron lights up.
[video=youtube;e9iMe9EH1rg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9iMe9EH1rg[/video]
JBL
What the hell is this?
Michael Cole
Oh no it's those damn Mexicools. They're not officially signed wrestlers here!
Smith looks on in confusion as The Mexicools make their way down to the ring on their Mexican Limo 2005. Psychosis is waving the Mexican flag all around while Super Crazy is raising his rake like a pitchfork and Juventud is driving them. Smith has no idea what's going on as Super Crazy jumps off and runs to the announcers side of the ring. Smith faces Crazy and Psychosis takes advantage and jumps off the lawnmower and slides into the ring behind him and chop blocks him. Super Crazy runs into the ring and they both double team Smith and begins stomping on him. While they are doing this, Juventud parks the mower and climbs the turnbuckle. Super Crazy holds down Smith's arms while Psychosis holds down his legs. Juventud then comes off the turnbuckle with a 450 Splash!
Michael Cole
Oh my god what a 450 Splash!
All three of the Mexicools celebrate a bit by stomping on Smith even more. Juventud then tells Psychosis and Super Crazy to head to the opposite corners and get to the top rope. Juventud grabs Smith's legs and drags him closer to Psychosis. Psychosis leaps off with a leg drop! Juventud waste no time dragging Smith and letting Super Crazy leap off with a Moonsault! They continue stomping Smith into the mat until Juventud finally stops and is handed a mic.
Juventud
How are you gringos who run this place going to have a try out match when you got three capable Luchadores right here. You opened the floodgate for more Gringos to get into the main event because you need more wrestlers and yet here we are on the sidelines. No More! We're taking matters into our own hands. We will stop at nothing until you give us real contracts and until then, we'll keep coming out here and stopping the show until we get what we want!
Psychosis
Pero ju gringos won't have to wait so long because we're going to compete in the battle royal tonight and one of us is going to become the Global Champion ain't that right Crazy?
Super Crazy
Ayayayay!
Juventud
And then you won't be able to hold us down anymore. You gringos think you're in control while you sit up there in your ivory towers but we're the ones in control and once we get that title around our waists, it'll be official and you'll have to answer to us. We'll be the commentators for all the matches. Instead of that desk, we'll put in a hot tub and bring out all the divas to come join us.
JBL
I think I'm starting to like these guys.
Juventud
And then the entire would will know that The Mexicools, we run this place!
JBL
Wow you talk about making an impact, that is how you do it.
The Mexicools get out of the ring and jump into their lawnmower and head back up the ramp as we head elsewhere.
As Impact arrives at a break in the action, the cameras cut backstage to show the "Icon" Sting walking down the hallway, the fans exploding into cheers when he appears. Sting turns the corner into the locker room and stops suddenly in place.
Sting: Well I can't say I expected to see you here tonight. What are you doing here? Is it revenge you want? You want to get your hands around my throat and squeeze until my oxygen supply runs out or my adam's apple pops in your grip like bubble wrap? Well I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, so if that's your business then step on up.
The camera pans out to allow the person Sting's talking to offscreen to enter the shot, the crowd responding with a mixed reaction as the person is none other than the Ultimate Warrior.
Ultimate Warrior: No need for alarm, Stinger, I am not here for vengeance but to get these hands soaked with the perspiration...of combat! I was sitting at home, minding my own business when suddenly, like a lightning bolt of schizophrenia to my brain, I started hearing a collection of voices talking all at once, and they were telling me the same exact thing, to come to UWF as part of the active roster. And now that I've signed a contract and my place here is official, I can feel it in the air, Sting, I can smell the smoke of ensuing war, and it smells delicious, like Mama Warrior's home cookin'! Now that I'm here, I know who those voices belonged to, they were the voices of all the Warriors around the world asking me, pleading with me, begging me to come back. And now, here I am!
The crowd cheers as Sting looks at him indifferently.
Sting: Well that's great, Jim, I'm going to go get ready for my match now.
Sting goes to walk past him but Warrior grabs him and puts him back where he was standing before.
Ultimate Warrior: Sting, don't you understand? I didn't just come back for them, I came back for you as well. I've seen the heart and intensity that you've been fighting back the dark forces with, and I respect it and am motivated by it, but what happened at Summerslam has you scorned, the heart you now show is battered and the intensity is waning. That's why I'm here, Sting, to bring back that intensity and heart, to make sure that you don't have to fight back those dark forces alone anymore. Sting, let's be the Blade Runners again!
The crowd cheers this intensely as Sting looks surprised, then waits for them to quiet down before responding to Warrior.
Sting: Why, so my detractors have another reason to say that I don't have what it takes to compete in singles anymore? So people can tell me that I'm hiding behind you or riding your coattails? Not to mention, how do I know I can trust you?
Ultimate Warrior: If you'll allow me, I'll be in your corner when you face Muhammad Hassan tonight, that way when things get ugly, not if but when, you'll have the power of the Warrior there to back you up! What do you say to that?
Sting: Fine, you can be in my corner. But don't make me regret this.
Sting walks past Warrior and disappears from the shot as Warrior does his trademark snarl and throws his head back and his arms up.
Ultimate Warrior: IT'S WARRIOR TIME, FOLKS!
As the crowd laughs, Sting re-enters the shot.
Sting: Don't say that.
Sting then disappears from the shot again as Impact heads elsewhere.
Sting/Hassan
We head backstage to see the Mexicools all chillin' about.
Psychosis
Aye vato ju see that gringos face when I hit him with my leg drop? He was all crying and begging for his madre jajajaja.
Juventud
These gringos don't even know what hit them. We're going to keep crashing the party until we get what we want.
Just then, a backstage agent comes up to the three of them and has a mad look on his face.
Agent
Hey what are you Mexicans doing? Your supposed to be cleaning the bathrooms. Here the toilets are clogged.
The man hands Psychosis the plunger.
Juventud
Ay gringo, you better watch who your talking to. We'll clean your toilets for now but when we get real contracts, we'll make you clean our toilets!
Agent
Yeah that'll be the day.
Psychosis
Don't give us no lip gringo!
Psychosis shoves the plunger into the mans face. Super Crazy grabs the man from the back of his head and they take him to the bathrooms. Juventud goes up ahead and walks into a stall and then soon backs out holding his nose.
Juventud
Man what do you gringos eat? We didn't make the food and I don't know what else can cause you to do that. Good thing we got a mop right here to clean the bowl.
They shove the man into the stall and give him a swirly. They all laugh maniacally until they let him go and he runs out of the bathroom as they're all laughing at him.
Juventud
Aye but seriously vato, we need to clean this caca up. We don't want to get fired here.
The Mexicools then begin cleaning as we head elsewhere.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Howard Finkle: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is schedualed for one fall!
The lights go out as the fans explode in excitement and cheering.
When a man's heart is full of deceit
it burns up, dies, and a dark shadow
falls over his soul.
From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse,
a wrong that must be righted.
We look to the skies for a vindicator,
someone to strike fear into the black heart of the same man who created him.
The battle between good and evil has begun.
Against an army of shadows comes the dark warrior,
the purveyor of good, with a voice of silence,
and a mission of justice.
This. Is. Sting.
After a brief moment of silence and darkness, the entrance theme of the "Icon" begins to play.
[video=youtube;6vwNBWTmx0s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNBWTmx0s[/video]
The Fink: Introducing first; He is the Icon, Sting!
The theme is "Willing" by Times of Grace as Sting walks out and proudly gestures to the adoring crowd. Sting appears on stage and makes it to ring while waiting for his opponent to come out
[video=youtube;LAjZek1hCpU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAjZek1hCpU[/video]
And his opponenent; being accompanied by Davari; he is Muhammed Hassn!
Muhammed Hassan walks down the ring while posing for the crowd as him and Davari enters the ring and looks at Sting with hateful eyes, not wanting to face off an American on his debut to iMPACT!
vs.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The bell rings and the crowd is on fire as they are about to witness the second matchup of the night with 'The Icon' Sting taking on Muhammed Hassan. Sting warms himself up in his corner as Hassan is praying by his corner with Davari standing on the apron, watching over Sting as to make sure that he doesn't try to ambush him from behind. Sting waits patiently for Hassan to finish as Hass then turns around and looks at Sting with hateful eyes, and tells him that he isn't afraid of Sting. Sting appears to be rolling his eyes as they circle around the ring then both men gets into a lockup. Sting easily overpowers Hassan as Sting throws his opponent to the corner then cracks his knuckles as he looks at Hassan with a smile, Hassan not looking too pleased.
Cole: Muhammed Hassan doesn't look too pleased with Sting right now, as a matter in fact it almost looks like that he's developed a personal hate for him already.
The crowd is chanting 'USA!' right now as Hassan looks into the crowd and tells them to shut up. Sting runs up and throws Hassan back to the corner and hits a couple of shots to the chest, much to the enjoyment of the crowd. Sting is forced back by the referee as Hassan cowards to the corner as Sting nods to himself, but turns to Davari as he jumps onto the apron and tries to distract him. Sting gets distracted but quickly sees Hassan coming as Sting ducks a clothesline and grapples Hassan by the head, runs with him towards Davari and throws Hassan onto Davari as Hassan's manager crashes to the floor at ringside and Hassan looks to be in a daze from colliding with his manager. Sting then sees the golden opportunity and brings Hassan to the middle of the ring and nails the Scorpion Death Drop! The crowd explodes into cheers as Sting goes for the pin!
Booker T: Sting might have it right there!
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NO! MUHAMMED HASSAN KICKS OUT! Sting looks a bit shocked that he didn't win the match right there but doesn't look too concerned has he has a whole arsenal of attacks to land on Hassan to get the victory. Sting goes onto one knee and hits a couple of mounted punches to the head, then talks to Hassan about America as he gets to his feet and lands a nice knee drop to the skull of Hassan. Hassan rolls around in pain and makes it to his feet but Sting runs up and clotheslines Hassan back down. Hassan gets up again as Sting bounces him off the ropes nearby and whips him to the other side of the ring, then bends down as he nails a back body drop onto Sting. Hassan holds his back in pain as Sting gives Hassan a hard look as he picks up the anti-American and sets his head between Sting's knees, picks him up by the stomach and nails a piledriver onto Hassan!
Cole: Wow! What a piledriver from The Icon!
Davari appears again onto the apron and tells Sting off from ramming his client onto him like that as Sting waves him off before turning his attention back to Muhammed Hassan but the ref takes notice of Davari and tells him to step off the apron. Sting gets up and orders the ref to pay attention to the match but the ref ignores Sting and continues to command Davari as Hassan comes from behind Sting and nails a low blow onto Sting! Sting goes down as Hassan drags Sting to the center of the ring and nails some stomps onto the downed Sting, then bends over and tells him off as he picks up Sting and hits a couple of knee strikes to the gut, then a body slam to stun Sting. Hassan then finishes up this initial assault with an elbow drop to the chest of Sting then walks to the ropes and tells the crowd to keep quiet while their 'American Hero' falls to the wrath of Muhammed Hassan.
Booker: That man right there is proving to be a dangerous man to be around with, and Sting would wind up hurt if he's not careful.
Sting gets onto one knee as Hassan notices this and approaches Sting with full confidence, then punches him in the face as Sting spins around from the force of the swing as Hassan grabs onto Sting's head and gets him onto his feet, then stands in the center of the ring as he executes the Finishing Touch onto Sting! Sting crashes to the ground as Hassan turns Sting onto his stomach as he goes on top of Sting and gets him into the Camel Clutch! Sting appears to be struggling to get out of the Camel Clutch as Hassan looks into the crowd and yells out in victory as he appears to be enjoying giving out the punishement to Sting on his debut on iMPACT! Sting doesn't show and signs of surrendering from the brutal submission hold, Hassan appears to aknowlege this as he lets go of Sting and exclaims that this isn't over yet!
Cole: Uh oh, what's Muhammed Hassan planning on doing now?
Sting appears to be struggling now as he coughs out loud from the submission hold from Hassan, but the anti-American just looks over Sting and raises his arms in prayer to Allah, then picks up Sting again, this time throwing him to the corner where he starts to choke out The Icon using his hands but the referee eventually forces Hassan back. Sting starts to cough again as Hassan runs up to the strugglign Sting and kicks him in the gut. Sting falls to the mat while holding onto his midsection, his facial expressions showing that he's not doing to well as Hassan goes onto both knees and proceeds to lay waste to Sting with some stiff mounted punches to the head! Sting deserpatly tries to break free but Hassan keeps him immobolized with his grip, even placing his knee onto Sting's chest so Sting can't escape from the fury of Hassan!
Booker: This man is out for blood and he won't leave Sting alone until he gets it!
Hassan shoots to his feet as he goes towards the ropes again and tells off the crowd hard, saying how there a bunch of idiots and doesn't realize that he's the greatest thing right in front of him. Hassan then picks up Sting and stands him up in the center of the ring as he bounces off the ropes and goes for a running clothesline but Sting ducks it as Hassan bounces off the ropes again, Hassan coming back but gets taken down from Sting's own clothesline! The crowd is going wild now as Sting is getting his momentum back as Hassan quickly gets back up but takes a shot to the head, then another one as Hassan ends up at the corner, Sting then points to him as he runs up and hits a running clothesline onto Hassan. Sting backs up a few paces as Hassan groggily walks up to Sting as Sting hits Hassan with an inverted atomic drop, then spins Hassan around as he nails a neckbreaker onto Hassan! Sting then goes down for the cover...
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And Muhammed Hassan kicks out! Sting shakes his head as he looks down at the stunned Hassan and gets him back to his feet. Hassan looks at Sting but Sting kicks Hassan in the gut, then in the head as Hassan makes it to the ropes, hanging off them as Davari is shouting out words of encouragement to Hassan. Sting then ends up putting Hassan by the corner as he hits a couple of stiff punches to the head and to the gut as he backs up to the opposite corner. Sting then looks to the crowd ands nods as he runs up, jumps up and hits the Stinger Splash onto Hassan! Hassan once again groggily walks up to Sting as Sting quickly kicks Hassan in the gut and then nails a DDT onto Hassan! Sting is pumped up now as he climbs the ropes and looks down at Hassan, then jumps off the ropes and nails a diving splash onto Hassan! Sting then cover the shoulders as he goes for the pin...
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And Muhammed Hassan kicks out again!
-Sting is on the offense now as he hits a couple of shots, then hits a Stinger Splash then hits in a DDT! Sting then gets in a diving splash but only gets a two count. Sting looks to be getting irritated as he picks up Hassan and tries to go for the Scorpion Death Drop onto Hassan again but Hassan know's what's coming and elbows Sting in the ribs a couple of times, then turns around as he nails a suplex onto Sting! Hassan gets back up as he takes a quick breather, then eyes Sting and shouts at him in anger, appearently mad that Sting's making him look like a fool to the Americans watching. He picks up Sting as he elbows him in the gut then runs towards the ropes, bounces off themm and goes for a running clothesline but Sting ducks and hits a belly to back suplex onto Hassan! Hassan though is already getting up as Sting bounces off the ropes nearby and runs at Hassan but Hassan ducks Sting and Sting ends up knocking the referee to the mat instead!
Cole: Uh oh, this is not looking good for Sting!
Sting tries to wake up the refereee but Hassan attacks Sting from behind and knocks him to the ground and begins his series of stomps onto Sting. The crowd is booing now as Davari comes running into the ring with a steel chair as they both are now nailing some hard stomps onto the downed Sting. Hassan then looks through the crowd as he yells out something cruel to them, and Davari raises the chair as Hassan picks up Sting and holds him behind the back with both arms being held on from Hassan to prevent escape. Davari holds up the chair and points to Sting as the crowd boos loudly at the duo now, Hassan smiling as Davari runs up to Sting with the chair but Sting ends up slipping out of Hassan's grip as Hassan eats a chair shot from Davari! Davari looks completely shocked on what just happend as Sting comes from behind Davari and nails the Scorpion Death Drop onto Davari!
Booker: Ooooh man the crowd is on fire now!
Hassan looks to be out of it as Sting drags Hassan to the center of the ring and is able to apply the Scorpion Deathlock onto Hassan as Hassan walks up from the sudden jolt of pain onto his back as Sting ends up yelling out loud for Hassan to tap out. Hassan moves around the ring, attemping to look for a way out as he scans the area to find the closest rope but is unable to reach them so he tries to move around and hope that Sting will lose grip on the Scorpion Deathlock but Sting has plenty of years of exprience with that hold, and has is locked in securely. Sting
squatting over him as he bend his legs back. Hassan screams and yells in pain, he tries to pull himself over to the ropes but Sting pulls him right back into the center of the ring and lowers himself down, tightening the hold on Hassan's legs. He looks ready to tap as Daivari jumps onto the apron with a steel chair in tow. The referee jumps and turns his attention towards Daivari who bickers with the referee while Hassan rakes the eye of Sting once more. Sting loosens his grip, Hassan pushes him into the referee who falls over the top rope. The crowd are jeering loudly now as Daivari steps into the ring with the steel chair and lifts it high above Sting, connecting with a sickening shot to his spine. Sting buckles over as Daivari continues his assault.
Daivari throws the chair to the ground as Hassan locks in the Camel Clutch once more. Daivari stands over the broken Sting throwing slurs at him but is taken by surprise as someone slips into the ring and grabs hold of him, tossing him out onto the floor outside. The crowd burts into a frenzy as The Ultimate Warrior has come to the rescue of Sting! Hassan lets go of his grip on Sting and tries to attack Warrior, but he is met with a Big Boot to his face for his troubles. Hassan stumbles back to his feet right into a determined warrior who lifts him up and brings him down to the ground with a Gorilla Press Drop! The crowd are going wild as Warrior runs up to the ropes and rebounds back towards the downed Hassan, connecting with a running splash! Hassan is writhing in pain as a now refreshed Sting gets back to his feet and wraps his leg across his once more before flipping him over and locking in his devestating Scorpion Deathlock for a second time, but this time with more pressure.
Warrior jumps out of the ring and helps the referee to his feet, he rolls him back into the ring just in time for him to see Hassan tap out!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Your winner of the match via Submission... 'The Icon' Sting!
Sting lets go of his grip and stands up with his arm raised as his entrance music blasts throughout the arena. Warrior and Sting share a handshake and celebrate his victory. Sting will be in the Gauntlet for Gold match coming up after the commercial break.
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Punisher Max!
Guns for Sale...
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UWF Impact comes back from it's commercial break with both Sting and Christian standing in the middle of the ring alongside Howard Finkel who begins to explain the rules of engagement.
Howard "The Fink" Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is your main event of the evening and it is to the first ever Ultimate Wrestling Federation Global Champion and it will be contested in a thirty man Gauntlet for the Gold match. The rules of the match are as follows, the first two competitors will compete for two minutes then a third competitor will enter the match, this will continue till all thirty participants are in the match. For a competitor to be eliminated from the contest, both their feet has to touch the floor after going over the top rope, this will continue until their is to competitors are remaining when the contest will go into a one on one singles match and a new champion will be crowned.
The bell sounds as Sting and Christian look at each other across, they’ve both already been matches tonight, Sting emerged victorious against Muhammad Hassan but Christian failed to beat Rob Van Dam. Christian and Sting both circle each other, wary of the ring ropes but both men know they have to survive 29 other men to walk with the UWF Global Championship. They finally lock horns in the middle of the ring with a collar and elbow tie up. Sting begins to push Christian backwards towards the ring ropes to the point where Christian is leaning on to the ring ropes with Sting trying to push Christian all the way over.
Cole: Christian could be the very first elimination in this match, John!
JBL: I can see that Cole but anything can happen in these Royal Rumble-esque matches!
Christian begins to lean over the top rope but he manages to break free of Sting’s grip and nails Sting with a closed right fist to knock the Stinger back before grabbing Sting from behind going for the Killswitch but Sting manages to push Christian away into the ring ropes but Christian manages to hold onto the ring ropes but Sting is looking to dump Christian over the top rope regardless, hoisting Christian up and over the top rope but Christian lands on the ring apron and drops down and baseball slides through the legs of Sting and begins to brawl with the Icon as the count begins to the 3rd entrant.
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Cole: I can’t wait to find out who it is!
JBL: I don’t believe it, it’s one of the Janitors!!!
Cole: You mean Super Crazy?
JBL: No Cole you idiot! One of the Janitors, illegal aliens!
Super Crazy rushes out from behind the curtains and sprints down the entrance ramp, sliding into the ring and begins to join the brawl exchanging blows with Christian and Sting; Super Crazy using his unique style manages to get a surprise advantage on his combatants but Christian and Sting manage to recover quickly and begin to team up; Sting nails Crazy with a right hook, sending Crazy into Christian who returns fire with an European Uppercut, both men continue to this to delight of JBL.
JBL: Hahaha, now this is what I like to see fellow Americans putting aside their differences to deal with an illegal Alien!
Cole: Christian’s Canadian John…
JBL: Shut up Cole!
Sting manages to grab Super Crazy into a Reserve Headlock before dropping Super Crazy with the Scorpion Death Drop just before the countdown begins again.
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JBL: It’s another Janitor, there’s aliens everywhere Michael!
Cole: I’m sure these people have the correct visas John.
JBL: They aren’t people Cole, they are aliens.
Psychosis comes out from the back and sprints it down to the ring to save his partner but gets clotheslined by Christian as Sting grabs Super Crazy and goes to literally toss him over the top rope but Super Crazy hangs onto the top rope and lands on the ring apron before managing to push himself up and over Sting, rolling across the back of the Stinger straight into a clothesline to Christian, showing off some slick skill. Super Crazy helps up his partner as both of them begin to beat down into Sting, forcing the Icon into a defensive stand in the corner.
JBL: These aliens are just teaming up on Sting, I got to do something.
Cole: You’re not in this match though John!
JBL: It’s my duty as an American Citizen.
With John Bradshaw Layfield and Michael Cole arguing on the announcement table, Psychosis and Super Crazy continue their beat down on Sting the countdown begins without them.
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GET THE TABLES!
JBL: Finally Cole, someone to save Sting from the Janitors.
Cole: Devon could quite possibly a big equalizer here.
Devon walks out from the backstage before picking up pace and slides into the ring, the fans go nuts as Devon confronts the Mexicools taking on both of them at once, pounding away at both men. Devon sends Super Crazy into the ring ropes, Super Crazy comes flying back straight into the Thrust-Spinebuster from Devon who gets a loud pop from the fans, Psychosis manages to get a cheap shot from behind on Devon however and knocks Devon down to the ground but now Christian is back up to a vertical base and grabs Psychosis from behind and turns him inside out for the Killswitch but this time Super Crazy manages to make the save for his partner and hits a dropkick to Christian preventing the Killswitch from happening.
Cole: The Mexicools are working together quite well wouldn’t you say John?
JBL: Cole, Mexicans always work together it’s the only way they can survive! A tag team needs to show up to equal the score.
Cole: What happens if Mexicools leader, Juventud shows up?
JBL: Well then I will get off this announcement table and deal with it myself!
With the anticipation of the next entrant is high, Super Crazy and Psychosis brace themselves watching the entrance ramp for the next competitor to enter.
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Cole: It’s about to go down John, Team 3D might just be back in action!
JBL: I can’t wait Michael, hopefully those damn Mexicans will get eliminated now!
Bully Ray charges down the entrance ramp and is actually getting cheered by the fans as he slides into the ring and begins to brawl with the Mexicools and manages to get some sort of advantage against the Mexicools. Bully Ray knocks down Super Crazy with a Bionic Elbow but Psychosis launches himself into the ring ropes but Devon gets in the way and hoists up Psychosis into a Flapjack, Bully Ray leaps up and grabs the head of Psychosis to connect with the 3D which sets the crowd on fire but Team 3D isn’t done yet as they deliver yet another 3D to Super Crazy! Christian is next to hit the canvas with a 3D and finally Sting meets his fate with a 3D. The crowd is going wild for Team 3D as they share a knuckle bump but Bully Ray decides to go full heel and kicks Devon in the crotch, ‘causing Devon to crumble down into a heap clutching at his crotch.
JBL: I love a double cross Michael, did I ever tell you that?
Cole: No, you were too busy complaining about the Mexicools John.
Bully Ray yells at Devon calling him stupid before turning his attention to the titantron with his hands on his hips waiting for the 7th entrant to show up.
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We’re a Three Man Band!
Cole: This Gauntlet for the Gold has gotten has just gotten it’s first rockstar.
JBL: Dear god Cole, this is going to do my head in I thought I got away from Heath Slater!
Heath Slater shows up from backstage and begins to jam with the air guy before strutting his way down the entrance ramp without a care in the world before sliding into the ring to be met with a boot from Bully Ray! Bully Ray begins to stomp a mudhole into Heath Slater but surprisingly Sting comes to the aid of Bully Ray, grabbing him from behind before delivering a Scorpion Deathdrop to Bully Ray. The fans cheer for Sting’s move on Bully Ray rather than him saving Heath Slater nevertheless, Sting woohoos for the fans as he begins to pick up momentum and charges across the ring to hit the Stinger Splash onto Super Crazy before going across the ring to hit the Stinger Splash on Christian but Sting luck doesn’t end there because Psychosis is leaning against a turnbuckle as well, Sting takes the opportunity to nail him as well. Finally the member of the 3MB is pulling himself up using the corner, Sting goes for the fourth Stinger Splash but Heath Slater manages to duck out of the way allowing Devon to follow through with the Thrust-Spinebuster.
Cole: There are no alignments here tonight; it is every man for themself.
JBL: Unless you’re part of the Mexicools Cole!
Devon and Heath Slater begin to go at it in the middle of the ring while the countdown clock shows up again signalling the 8th entrant.
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JBL: What in the world has possessed our blithering idiot of a General Manager to get involved in this match?
Cole: In case you didn’t notice he did get beat down by Muhammad Hassan, he’s out for revenge!
JBL: Take the legal route, besides Cole everyone’s entrant is random!
Joseph Park comes out from the backstage wearing his tracksuit and looks around the arena which the fans are giving Joseph Park a huge reception. He pats down the sweat off his brow and takes his time walking down to the ring not particularly wanting to get involved in this match. Meanwhile in the middle of the ring, Heath Slater manages to take Devon down with the Smash Hit but then gets hit by Christian with the Killswitch! Bully Ray then gets himself back into the match and hits the Bully Bomb on Christian before taunting Joseph Park to get into the ring with a big smile on his face. Joseph Park slowly walks up the ring steps, the fans are rallying behind the Impact General Manager to go to war with Bully Ray but thankfully it doesn’t come to that as both member of the Mexicools drill Bully Ray from behind knocking him down to the canvas. Mexicools quickly finish with Bully Ray and both them sit on the middle rope and open it up for their General Manager to get into the ring.
Cole: What in the world are those two after?
JBL: A job and visa by the looks of it Cole!
Once Joseph Park gets into the ring, Super Crazy looks like he’s about to nail Joseph Park in the back but Psychosis stops him and tries to explain to Super Crazy that’s the boss and he gives out title shots! Super Crazy nods his head and in fact the two of them stand guard around Joseph Park as the countdown timer shows up again for the 9th entrant!
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Cole: There’s the asshole that attacked the General Manager John!
JBL: I don’t know who I can’t stand more the illegal janitors or this guy.
Cole: Just listen to the fans John, I think they would prefer the Mexicools to Muhammad Hassan!
Hassan walks out on stage with Khosrow in tow, wearing a new entrance attire from before with his ring attire underneath he looks around the arena before spitting down on the floor, Khosrow and Hassan before walking down the ramp slowly not in a hurry to get in the rumble as Hassan raises a microphone.
Muhammad Hassan:
This...This is an example of the terrible state of UWF and America in general. The short sighted general manager allowed anyone from any brand to compete in this match, and yet he made sure I had to compete in a match before hand so that I would be the one least likely to win. You all claim that inside that ring we're all equal, that color, creed, and nationality doesn't matter inside the squared circle. And yet I am forced to compete multiple times a night, it is unfair, it is unjust, and I will not let you get away with it Anymore.
The crowds booing as stops at ringside not taking another step as he continues.
Cole: This guy knows we're in the middle of a match right?
Tonight I will prove you and everyone else wrong, tonight I become the first Global Champion, one who represents his country of America and his Arab ancestors equally. And As I do, I would have done so by defeating the best from Impact, Raw, Smackdown, and Anarchy. No one will be able to look down upon me again, because their necks will strain to just get a clear view of the level I would have reached. For Far to long our people have suffered cold looks from Americans, Canadians, and Mexicans alike, and tonight those cold looks will not be of disgust and prejudice, tonight they will for once be of envy as I Muhammad Hassan take my rightful spot...
Muhammad Hassan has spent so much time talking about the injustices of wrestling and Joseph Park that everyone in the ring has gotten up and together and are seemingly making a united front against Hassan but Hassan refuses to get into the ring but the countdown has begun for the next entrant.
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JBL: Haha! It’s Natalya, first female entrant in this match.
Cole: Look at her sneaking up behind Muhammed Hassan!
Natalya tip-toes up behind Hassan who is busy talking trash to everyone in the ring, he fails to notice Natalya drop down to her knees and deliver a low-blow to Hassan. Hassan’s facial expression tells it all as Natalya tosses Hassan right into the Lion’s Den! The fans go nuts as everyone begins to pile onto Hassan, all hitting and kicking him; Hassan tries to get to safety but he can’t as he stumbles straight into Sting who nails him with a right hook, Christian then delivers a European Uppercut, Hassan staggers into Bully Ray who then nails Hassan with a Bionic Elbow. Hassan finally stumbles into Joseph Park who explodes out of nowhere with a Black Hole Slam! Joseph Park looks at his hands with a gawking expression before getting back to his feet, Natalya has climbed into the ring and grabs Hassan as well leading to Joseph Park and Natalya tossing Hassan over the top rope.
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Muhammad Hassan has been eliminated by Natalya & Joseph Park==-
The fans go wild as Hassan is dumped over the top rope, Natalya and Joseph Park share a celebration but Natalya takes it that step further grabbing Park by the head and lip-locking him while pushing Joseph Park onto the top rope; Natalya is being smart and using Joseph Park’s own weight against him to get him over the top rope with a kiss!
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Joseph Park has been eliminated by Natalya==-
Natalya wipes her mouth and smiles by her dreams of becoming the first ever UWF Global Champion are gone in an instant as Heath Slater steamrolls into Natalya and throws her over the top rope to a chorus of boos from the fans.
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Natalya has been eliminated by Heath Slater==-
Heath Slater has that smug look on his face, Team 3D who had been brawling look at each other and shake their heads and set themselves up the fans know what’s coming next yelling “3D!†and that’s just what happens because Slater turns right round into a massive 3D from the fans as the clock shows up on the titantron again.
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Cole: Oh boy!
JBL: The biggest and heaviest competitor the match Cole has just shown and he looks ready to go!
The Great Khali thunders out from the backstage to rapturous chorus of boos from the fans but that doesn’t bother Khali. He marches down the entrance ramp towards the ring where Hassan intercepts Khali and the two seem to have an agreement. Khali lumbers onto the ring apron as Christian goes to intercept Khali but Khali blocks the attempt and launches Christian over the top rope down to the ground below eliminating him.
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Christian has been eliminated by the Great Khali==-
Heath Slater then gets pushed into Great Khali by Team 3D but is met with the big chop to the head, knocking Slater down to canvas as Khali climbs over the top rope. Psychosis and Super Crazy are the next two to try their luck but Khali tosses Super Crazy across the ring like a rag doll straight into Sting knocking both men down, Bully Ray is then knocked down with a big club forearm blow; Devon tries to nail Khali in the back but it does nothing instead Khali turns around and launches Devon over the top rope eliminating him.
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Devon has been eliminated by the Great Khali==-
Psychosis charges at the Great Khali but Great Khali just lifts up Psychosis into Military Press and dumps Psychosis over the top rope, sending Psychosis crashing down onto the ground. Super Crazy tries to next and gets flung over the top rope by Khali for his efforts.
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Super Crazy & Psychosis have been eliminated by the Great Khali==-
Bully Ray tries to the same tactic as his Brother Devon with a cheap shot to Khali’s back but Khali turns around and grabs Bully Ray by the throat and launches Bully Ray over the top rope as well.
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Bully Ray has been eliminated by the Great Khali==-
Sting charges across the ring and goes for the Stinger Splash on Great Khali but Khali catches him and dumps the Stinger over the top rope!
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Sting has been eliminated by the Great Khali==-
Heath Slater is the last one in the ring against the Great Khali but he’s quickly disposed off with a massive military press over the top rope from Khali as the countdown shows up.
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Heath Slater has been eliminated by the Great Khali==-
JBL: I feel sorry for the next person to come out to face off against the Great Khali.
Cole: I don’t think it can get any worse than Great Khali who has just eliminated Seven Competitors with ease!
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God?
JBL: Oh god Cole!
Cole: Grado is about to be welcome to UWF Impact Great Khali style.
JBL: While boogieing to Madonna.
Grado spurts out from the backstage with his hands on his hips, moving in with the beat of “Like a Prayer†but the fans are lapping it up, singing along to the song with Grado who begins to high-five the fans around him. The Great Khali grabs the ring ropes and watches on but Grado isn’t any rush as he struts around ringside high-fiving the fans but Great Khali is growing ever more impatient waiting for Grado.
JBL: I like this Grado’s tactic, waste time by being as camp as possible with the fans with Madonna!
Cole: But he’s going have to face off against the Great Khali at some point!
Grado finally makes it to the ring steps and yells “right lads!†before storming up them and walks across the ring apron and points at Great Khali, wagging his finger “YOUS!†which gets the crowd behind Grado who boldly steps into the ring and rushes at Great Khali who stops Grado dead in his tracks with a massive Headchop. Grado hits the canvas and instinctively rolls to safety as the Great Khali waits for the next entrant.
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The Staging Explodes in Flames…
JBL: Oh it’s on! Monster versus Monster!!!
Cole: Kane is back in UWF!
JBL: There is anyone who can get The Great Khali over the top rope it’s Kane!
The fans go absolutely wild as Kane marches out from the backstage with his Iron Mask and Paul Bearer in tow; Kane marches down the entrance ramp as The Great Khali waits his fellow monster to enter the ring. Kane hauls himself up onto the ring apron and raises his arms above his head before slamming them down setting the pyros off in the ring, the fans are going nuts as Kane removes his Iron Mask and climbs into the ring and stares down with the monster Khali.
JBL: It’s Goliath versus Goliath, Cole!
Kane then unleashes with an uppercut to Khali staggering the giant who fires back with a forearm smash which stumbles Kane backwards but Kane returns fire himself with another uppercut as both big men are trading blows in the middle of the ring with neither men seemingly getting the advantage in this clash of the titans which doesn’t bear well with Grado whose back to his feet and tries to get involved with the face down but both Khali and Kane turn to Grado and nail him back down to the canvas before trading blows with each other again while the countdown begins again.
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JBL: I was wondering when the third janitor would show up in this match.
Cole: And he’s about to walk into the middle of a warzone.
Juventud comes out on his Lawnmower machine and drives it down the entrance ramp while Kane and Great Khali continue to trade their big thunderous blows in the middle of the ring. Juventud pulls besides the ring steps and runs up them and walks across the middle of the ring apron but Kane comes flying into Juventud knocking him off the ring apron to the ground. Kane stumbles back into the middle of the ring straight into a big boot from Great Khali who then proceeds to roar at the top of his voice but Grado is feeling brave and climbs onto the middle rope in the corner before leaping off onto the back of the Great Khali and tries to take him out with a sleeper hold!
JBL: I like this Grado! He’s got a set on him even if he’s a bit on the stupid side.
Cole: I have to agree with you John, this guy has guts.
Great Khali reaches around and grabs Grado by the scruff of the neck and snapmares Grado off of his back down to the canvas; Grado lands on his tail bone and winces in agony but things are getting worse for Grado because Khali now has Grado in the Vice Grip but Juventud surprisingly makes the save by leaping up onto the top rope and springboarding off to crash into Great Khali but Khali is quick enough to catch Juventud and follows through with a body slam to Juventud onto Grado.
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JBL: Here comes Jeff Hardy, a man who knows no fear!
Cole: But the question is can he beat The Great Khali!
Jeff Hardy comes out from the backstage at full speed and charges into the ring, sliding in with a steel chair and tosses it at Great Khali, staggering the giant against the ring ropes. Jeff Hardy grabs his steel chair and nails Kane between the ears with the steel chair, sending Kane down to the canvas. Jeff Hardy is hot and the fans are feeling it as he steps up the chair in front of the corner where Khali is seeking safety; Jeff Hardy then runs across the ring before coming back towards the chair at full pace and uses it as a stepping stone to connect with a One-Man Poetry in Motion on Great Khali which has the fans going nuts for Jeff Hardy.
Cole: Jeff Hardy is bringing the house down here.
JBL: This kid is on fire!
Juventud gets back to his feet and staggers straight into a boot to the gut from Jeff Hardy leading into the Twist of Fate, laying out Juventud in the middle of the ring. Jeff Hardy takes a moment to get his breathe back but this gives Kane a moment to gather his thoughts, Kane spins Jeff Hardy around and grabs the Charismatic Enigma by the throat looking for the Chokeslam however Jeff Hardy has no quit and boots Kane in the gut and goes for the Irish Whip on Kane but Kane reserves and sends Jeff Hardy towards the turnbuckle but this being Jeff Hardy, he runs up the turnbuckles and leaps off the top twisting into the Willow in the Wisp to take out Kane just in time for the countdown to begin.
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JBL: It’s TJ Perkins!
Cole: I hate to break it to you John but that’s Manik.
Manik doesn’t come out however, instead he’s found standing on top of the titantron with a zip wire within arm’s reach and within moments Manik is zipping across it straight into the ring. Manik let’s go as he enters the ring to deliver a falling boot to Jeff Hardy knocking Hardy down to the canvas. Manik points to his head as he waits for the next opponent to face him but unfortunately for Manik it’s the Great Khali.
JBL: This doesn’t bode for Perkins.
Cole: Khali looks pissed John.
The Great Khali storms out of the corner and hell have no fury as Khali grabs Manik by the throat and delivers a canvas shaking Chokebomb Manik onto the rogue steel chair. Khali then waits for his next opponent to get back to his feet. Jeff Hardy picks himself up and climbs to the top rope, Khali turns around as Jeff Hardy leaps off the top rope going for another Flying Forearm Smash but Khali again knocks Jeff Hardy down to the canvas with chop. Jeff Hardy crashes in a heap as the countdown begins.
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ONE OF A KIND!
Cole: Here comes the winner of the first match on UWF Impact!
JBL: If anyone has any momentum coming into this match, it’s going to be this guy!
Rob Van Dam marches out from the backstage and looks at The Great Khali from the staging and takes a deep breathe, the fans cheer Rob Van Dam on as he rushes down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring and ducks underneath the massive clothesline from the Great Khali and leaps onto the middle rope before springboarding off it and hits Khali with a heel kick but the Great Khali doesn’t fall. Juventud leaps up onto the top rope and leaps off to hit his own clothesline to Khali, and now the Great Khali is looking shaky on his feet as Grado delivers his own Clothesline to Khali but Khali still hasn’t fallen! The fans are on the edge of their seats because Jeff Hardy hits a flying forearm smash and Khali is still on his feet but that’s about to Kane because Kane is on the top turnbuckle and leaps off to hit a massive Diving Clothesline to Khali and Khali’s down on the ground!
JBL: They did it! It took every competitor in the match but the Great Khali is down on his back!
Cole: Look at Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam and Manik though JBL!
All three men have gotten themselves in prime positions, Rob Van Dam is the first to launch himself off the top rope to connect with the Five-Star Frog Splash to Great Khali; Jeff Hardy then connects with the Swanton Bomb and finally Manik delivers a Diving Legdrop to Khali but the Khali rolls underneath the bottom rope he’s down and out for the time being opening up the match just in time for the next competitor to enter the match.
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Cole: And the Gauntlet for the Gold has been graced by the only Olympic Gold Medallist in Professional Wrestling history.
JBL: Cole, there are fewer people than Kurt Angle who could possibly get the Great Khali over the top rope, the other one being Kane; this could spell the end for the Great Khali.
Kurt Angle charges out from the backstage and slides straight into the ring as everyone is brawl, Kurt Angle’s first course of action is to grab Juventud from behind, who had been brawling with Manik and hit him with a German Suplex! Manik then takes a swipe at Kurt Angle but Angle ducks and grabs Manik into a waist lock to hit another German Suplex; Jeff Hardy is the next one to suffer a German Suplex, Angle manages to duck underneath RVD half-crescent heel kick and delivers another German Suplex as Kane delivers a Chokeslam to Grado. Kurt Angle roars before pulling down his straps and waits for Kane to get in position, Kurt Angle stalks Kane; Kane takes a step back and it’s game over for Kane as Kurt Angle hoists Kane up and hits Kane with the Olympic Slam!
Cole: Kurt Angle is clearing house.
JBL: There were rumours that he is back to full health and that seems to be the case here!
Kurt Angle is psyched as he begins to crotch and watches the titantron because the countdown has begun again.
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Cole: Oh my god, it’s the Miz!
JBL: Him and Kurt Angle have a match on Tuesday Night Raw, business is about to pick up!
The Miz comes out from the backstage with a burst of energy, sliding into the ring and straight into Kurt Angle, the two begin to trade left and rights in the middle of the ring before the Miz delivers a knee to gut of Kurt Angle before going behind Kurt Angle and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale but Kurt Angle manages to counter it and goes for the Olympic Slam but The Miz manages to leap out of it, grabbing Kurt Angle in a waistlock and drives Angle into the ring ropes and surprisingly manages to dump Kurt Angle over the top rope to the surprise of the fans and Kurt Angle.
-==
Kurt Angle has been eliminated by The Miz==-
Kurt Angle looks around in shock, he’s livid and grabs a steel chair from underneath the ring before sliding back into the ring and drills Miz in the head with the steel chair before driving into the head of Manik, Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam, Juventud and Kane before dropping the chair and leaving the ring, this is new Kurt Angle is pissed off and angry as he disappears off leaving the countdown to emerge again.
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I’m the Man with the Plan!
JBL: I can’t believe the 20th entry has gone to this man, Brian Kendrick!
Cole: The Brian Kendrick, John.
JBL: Shut up Cole.
The Brian Kendrick skips out from the backstage before picking up pace and slides into the ring straight into a brawl with the recovering Manik; The Brian Kendrick grabs the head of Manik and goes for the The Kendrick which is completed. The Brian Kendrick gets back to his feet, and opens up his arms to pose but Kane is back to his feet and spins Kendrick around and hoists Kendrick up for the Tombstone Pildedriver but Kendrick slips behind Kane lands on feet but Kane turns around and grabs Kendrick by back of the head and throws him over the top rope but somehow Kendrick on the ring apron, running along apron onto the turnbuckle and leaps off again going for crossbody but Kane catches him! Kane looks for the Tombstone Piledriver again but Kendrick lands behind Kane and dropkicks Kane in the backside sending Kane through the middle rope.
Cole: I don’t believe it, Kendrick of all people got Kane out of the ring.
JBL: But it was only through the second rope, so it doesn't count!
Unfortunately for Kendrick, Juventud is waiting for him and boots Kendrick in the gut before dropping Kendrick with the Juvi Driver to be the last man standing as the countdown begins again.
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Cole: Folks, it’s the former 2x Money in the Bank and former UWF Champion, Austin Aries.
JBL: There’s been a lot of praise about Aries recent performance at house shows since losing Money in the Bank.
Aries charges down the entrance ramp, and immediately slides into the ring not wasting any time whatsoever. Aries goes right after Juventud and begins driving his fists into the Mexicool’s head. Aries drives his hand across Juvi’s chest forcing the Mexicool to shout in pain. Aries grabs him and sends him off the ropes and Juvi comes back into a picture perfect dropkick from Aries. Aries stands up and throws his arms out basking in the glory of the crowd. He turns around to find Mannik waiting for him and both men get ready to fight.
Cole: We’re going to see some real action now as two x division legends are about to go to war.
JBL: This is something you are only ever going to see on iMPACT Michael!
Before the two can go after each other Kane slides back into the ring with a hard on to get revenge for being embarrassed earlier. He lashes out by dropping both Mannik and Aries with a double clothesline. Mannik is up first and Kane picks him up and side slams him to the mat hard. Kane gets up and Aries attempts to nail Kane in the back of the head, but it only manages to piss the monster off more. Kane turns and nails Aries with a massive uppercut that sends the former Money in the Bank winner to the ground. He gets up and Kane sends him down to the mat with a large body slam. Kane stands tall as the next entrant comes out!
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Cole: Are you kidding me? The Two time UWF Champion, arguably the face of UWF Cody Rhodes coming off a huge victory at Summerslam, is getting a shot to become the global champion here!
Rhodes walks down purposefully to the ring all smiles and with a crazy look in his eye as the Big Red Machine just stands there waiting for him. Rhodes slides into the ring and Kane takes a swing at him, but Rhodes ducks it easy. Kane turns around and slaps Kane across the face as if Kane were only a 70 pound kid. Kane responds with a big right hand that knocks Rhodes into the ropes. Kane grabs Rhodes and sends him shooting towards the corner, Rhodes lands in the corner hard and Kane goes charging him but Rhodes moves out of the way in the nick of time forcing Kane to hit it hard. Kane comes out staggered and Rhodes in one swoop leaps up to the top rope and comes back nailing Kane in his masked face with the Disaster Kick!
JBL: That right there Michael is one of the deadliest moves Cody has and has won him many title matches here in UWF as you can see by what it did to Kane.
Cole: Cody Rhodes was impressive for a very long time, I was there calling most of it before I got demoted from Raw.
Rhodes has no time to celebrate as the Miz climbs up to the top rope surprising everyone as they’ve forgotten he’s even in this match. Miz waits for Rhodes to turn and when he does the Miz leaps off the top rope looking for a double axe handle. Rhodes moves out of the way and the Miz lands funny, giving Rhodes the opening he needs to nail the Miz with Cross Rhodes!
Cole: Shades of how Cody Rhodes retained at Wrestlemania. There!
Rhodes stands tall as he waits for the timer to count down.
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JBL: Shit just got real, Michael. Dean Ambrose the former 4x World Heavyweight Champion is here and he’s looking to bust a hole in Cody’s rear end.
Ambrose wastes no time running to the ring and sliding in. Rhodes is waiting for him to attack and Ambrose gives it to him, tackling Rhodes down to the mat before mounting him and beginning to drive big right hands into Rhodes’ face. Rhodes is able to get Ambrose off of him eventually and grabs his head, clearly Ambrose got him good. He is so out of it he doesn’t see Ambrose charging him full on and nail him with a clothesline which the impact sends both men over the top rope and to the floor eliminating each other.
-==
Cody Rhodes has been eliminated==-
-==
Dean Ambrose has been eliminated==-
The crowd boos as Ambrose and Rhodes are eliminated at the same time but that doesn’t mean they are done. Ambrose grabs Rhodes and slams him head first into the steel steps. Rhodes stands up holding his head and Ambrose goes after him again. Instincts kick in for Rhodes however as he kicks Ambrose in the gut and pokes Ambrose in the eyes. Rhodes immediately hightails it out of their running through the crowd and out of the arena leaving a pissed off Ambrose at ring side.
Cole: And Cody Rhodes is going to get away from Dean Ambrose again, and you have to wonder how much longer can Rhodes stay a step ahead of Ambrose.
JBL: Should Dean get another opportunity at Rhodes you better believe he’s going to capitalize on it.
Kendrick and RVD meanwhile have both gotten up in the ring and are exchanging words when the timer begins...
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Cole: Oh boy business is definitely going to pick up now here comes the monster known as Brock Lesnar.
JBL: This has slobberknocker written all over it Cole!
Lesnar walks down to the ring with a purpose but takes his time with it. RVD and Kendrick share a knowing glance knowing they need to team up here to battle the monster. Lesnar steps into the ring and immediately RVD and Kendrick get together and begin hammering down on him with all they’ve got. The valiant effort however doesn’t last long, as Lesnar just shoves both of them away in one fell swoop. RVD is the first to be planted by a big clothesline from Lesnar. Kendrick comes running in nailing Lesnar in the knee with a dropkick. Lesnar falls to a knee and Kendrick goes off the ropes again, Lesnar stands up and Kendrick leaps looking to hit Lesnar with a crossbody but Lesnar manages to catch Kendrick in his arms. The crowd let out an ooh as Lesnar connects on Kendrick with a devastating fall away slam. Lesnar stands up and sees RVD getting up. Lesnar comes up behind RVD, wraps his massive arms around RVD’s waist and sends him crashing to the mat with a nasty german suplex.
Cole: Good lord, since being fired as a client of Paul Heyman Lesnar went home to Minnesota were he looks absolutely jacked here tonight.
JBL: I just hope he did it the natural way, the UWF doesn’t need the bad press the MLB is getting right now!
Lesnar is in the ring screaming in rage, as Grado gets to his feet. Lesnar sees it and immediately rushes over and drops him back down to the mat with a big boot. Lesnar is begging for someone to get up as the timer goes off.
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Cole: Chris Sabin! Its Chris Sabin! He’s looking to have more luck here on iMPACT then he’s seen since debuting on Smackdown last month.
JBL: He’s got an opportunity of a life time here tonight, Michael!
Sabin comes out and immediately rushes down to the ring and goes after Lesnar unafraid. He nails Lesnar with big rights and lefts staggering the beast, but Sabin makes the mistake of going off the ropes. As he comes back Lesnar has had plenty of time to prepare and wraps his arms around Sabin and shoots him down to the mat with a brutal overhead belly to belly suplex!
JBL: Thanks for coming Chris Sabin!
Lesnar stands up and screams “Give me some real competition.†And he gets his answer as the Big Red Machine answers the call. Kane waits for Lesnar to turn and Kane unleashes a big right hand into Lesnar’s face. Lesnar is staggered and Kane nails him again. Lesnar is pissed off and responds with a sharp kick to the gut. Kane keels over and Lesnar grabs him and throws him up onto his shoulders. The crowd explode into boos as Lesnar sends Kane crashing to the mat with an F-5! Lesnar stands up victorious. “I want a real challenge!†as he finishes saying that Khali stands up and Lesnar turns and smiles before tackling Khali to the mat, the impact sending both men rolling out of the ring as the countdown begins.
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Cole: hahahaha, oh my.
JBL: Carey can count his blessing Lesnar just took out Kane for him.
Drew Carey meanders down entrance ramp, wary of what await in this match; he climbs up onto the ring apron and into the ring; everyone’s down and right in the middle of the ring is Kane, Carey cautiously steps towards the Big Red Monster which is first mistake as Kane sits up and looks directly Carey. Carey falls backwards in shock, panicking he glances around the ring to see Manik, Juventud and Chris Sabin all gather thoughts and pulls out three brown envelopes and it’s to the three of them begging them to protect him from Kane.
JBL: You think paying off the three midgets in this match is going to help you against Kane?
Cole: He has to do something right.
Kane stands back up and delivers one of his signature head turning glance at Drew Carey but the three X-Division wrestlers try to prove they money well spent as they launch themselves at Kane. Sabin is the first one to suffer with a brutal uppercut to the jaw, Sabin goes flying backwards as Juventud leaps off the top rope but Kane catches and delivers a thunderous one handed Chokeslam to Juventud. Manik then boots Kane in the midsection but Kane merely stares at Manik before grabbing him by the head and launching him over the top. Juventud’s carcass is next to go over before finally Kane military presses Chris Sabin over the top rope onto the other two X-Division wrestlers.
-==
Manik, Chris Sabin & Juventud have been eliminated by Kane==-
Kane then turns to Drew Carey begins to laugh at the top of his lunges, Drew Carey backs himself into a corner but that isn’t going to save him this time as Kane drags Carey into the middle of the ring and grabs throat, hoists him up one handed to deliver another thunderous Chokeslam but this time, Drew Carey literally explodes into thousands of one dollars bills. Kane laughs as he grabs the practically dead Drew Carey and tosses him over the top rope onto the pile of wrestler’s.
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Drew Carey has been eliminated by Kane==-
Kane watches on as the countdown begins but at the same time Jeff Hardy and RVD jump Kane from behind but he fights back.
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IF YA SMELLLLLLL!
Cole: It’s the Rock, it’s the Rock!
JBL: No Cole you idiot, it’s Trish Stratus.
Trish Stratus struts out from the backstage and stands at the titantron disgusted and unimpressed as Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy struggle to fend off Kane but RVD manages to hit Kane with an Enziguri with Jeff Hardy following up with a Jawbreaker! Kane crumbles back down in a heap as Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy stare each other down but before the two of them can commit to any form of combat, Trish Stratus struts between the two of them bites lip before turn to Jeff Hardy and wrapping her arms around him but he has other ideas as he goes directly for the assgrab which Trish Stratus doesn’t approve off so she drives her knee into the balls of Jeff Hardy crippling him.
Cole: Vintage Trish Stratus.
JBL: That’s gotta hurt…
RVD begins to laugh his head off, Trish Stratus looks at him and shakes his head; walks up to RVD and just simply kicks him in the nuts, causing RVD collapse to ground as well holding his crotch. Stratus stands defiant in the middle of the ring as the countdown for entry 28.
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IS COOKING!
JBL: Here’s the real deal Cole!
Cole: It’s the Rock, It’s the Rock!!!
The Rock fires out of the back and slides into the ring just as Brock Lesnar it is about to threaten Trish Stratus; Rock spins Lesnar around and begins to unload the ultimate smackdown on Brock Lesnar, laying in the right hands into Lesnar and Lesnar can’t get an opportunity to defend himself, Rock finishes off with one big right hook followed up by Trish with the Chick Kick; Lesnar is staggered right back into the Rock who delivers a massive Rock Bottom to Lesnar.
Cole: The Rock is clear house, vintage Rock!
JBL: My god, the Rock is looks like he’s ready for this.
The Rock turns right around just as Kane is back to his feet, Kane goes for another brutal uppercut but the Rock blocks it and returns fire with a right hook of his own, then a second one and begins to lay the Smackdown on Kane before grabbing Kane into the Rock Bottom; Austin Aries is up next to suffer the same fate as he gets dropped with a Rock Bottom before finally The Brian Kendrick get’s caught with the Spinebuster as begins to set up the People’s Elbow.
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PPSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!
The crowd erupts expecting Stone Cold Steve Austin but they suddenly sorely disappointed as Charlie Haas-tin marches out from the backstage and rushes down the entrance ramp straight onto the ring apron as the Rock comes across, Rock has to put on the break before grabbing Haas-tin and launches him over the top rope into the ring. The Brian Kendrick escapes from suffering the people’s elbow because now the Rock is focused on laying the Smackdown on Haas-tin but Haas-tin manages to get a knee into the gut of The Rock before throwing The Rock between the middle and top turnbuckle. Haas-tin then pulls The Rock out of the corner and begins to stomping into mudhole into the Rock.
JBL: Haas-tin is stomping a mudhole into The Rock.
Cole: Vintage Haas-tin!
Haas-tin steps away and begins to bobble his head like Austin and mocking Austin entirely to the point he flips the birdie at Trish Stratus who goes to unload of Haas-tin but Haas-tin grabs the arm of Trish before grabbing a fist-full of tights and launches her over the top rope and continues to mock Austin calling for a beer as the countdown begins for the final time this evening.
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PPSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!
JBL: Haha, oh boy; Haas-tin is in for it now!
Cole: It’s Stone Cold, It’s Stone Cold!
The fans are going absolutely nuts as the real Stone Cold Steve Austin shows up on the staging but while Austin is making his entrance, Haas-tin begins to panic in the ring so much he fails to notice that the Rock is behind him; Rock grabs a fist-full of trunks of Haas-tin and charges across the ring Haas-tin, throwing Haas-tin over the top rope, eliminating Haas-tin.
-==
Charlie Haas-tin has been eliminated by The Rock==-
The Rock talks some smack to Haas-tin has he steps back and turns around right into Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Both men are the only two standing, the other nine bodies are scattered around the ring, bideing their time as Rock and Austin don’t move an inch; the crowd is split fifty-fifty for the Rock and Austin, Austin and Rock both look to their side before looking back at each other and then they begin to blows in the centre of the ring, right hooks flying between the two.
Cole: Rock and Austin, Rock and Austin!
JBL: This is a showdown for the ages!
Austin manages to get the advantage the same way Charlie Haas-tin did with a knee to the gut but this time Austin continues to lay in right and lefts into The Rock staggering the Rock before going for the big boot to the gut of the Rock but the Rock catches Austin’s boot and spins Austin around and goes for the Rock Bottom but Austin drives his elbow in the side of The Rock head and goes for the Stunner again but Rock spins Austin inside out and grabs Austin by the head and goes to toss Austin over the top rope but Austin lands on the ring apron and nails the Rock but it’s too late for Austin as Rock manages to kick up between the middle and bottom rope to hit Austin with a low-blow causing Austin to collapse off the ring apron to the ground below.
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Stone Cold Steve Austin has been eliminated by The Rock==-
The Rock has no time to celebrate as Brock Lesnar is back to his feet and steam rolls into The Rock, sending him flying over the top rope to the floor below as well.
-==
The Rock has been eliminated by Brock Lesnar==-
Cole: The Rock and Austin have both been eliminated Pretty Quickly!
JBL: The unpredictability of The Gauntlet for the Gold Cole, anything can happen! I mean look at this, Grado is back up to his feet and is still in this match!
Grado is stumbling back up to his feet, Brock Lesnar turns around and see the opportunity to get an easy elimination, he grabs Grado by the trunk and charges across the ring with him before launching Grado over the top rope and begins to walk away dusting his hands but unbelievably Grado held on and has skinned the cat to get back into the ring. Lesnar is blissfully unaware as Grado runs up behind Lesnar, grabbing Lesnar and throwing over the top rope to the floor below and the crowd explodes as Grado runs around the ring like he’s just won the UWF Global Championship!
-==
Brock Lesnar has been eliminated by Grado==-
JBL: Screw winning the Championship Cole, this young kid from Scotland just eliminated Brock Lesnar.
Cole: But Lesnar must be pissed off.
As Grado makes a victory lap, Brock Lesnar slides back into the ring and hoists the running Grado up onto his shoulders and hits the F5 Grado before grabbing Grado by the throat and throwing Grado over the top rope eliminating Grado.
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Grado has been eliminated by Brock Lesnar==-
Lesnar grabs Grado and tosses him into the barricade before pounding the living hell out of Grado with his lefts and rights, beating Grado till he bleeds. Lesnar roars and wipes the blood of Grado across his chest leaving EMTs to tend to the broken Grado.
Cole: Lesnar just beat Grado within inch of his life.
JBL: That’s what you get for robbing Brock Lesnar of his opportunity of being the UWF Global Champion.
Back in the ring, The Miz finally begins to get back to his feet but so is Rob Van Dam; both Miz and RVD stare down but Brock Lesnar isn’t done yet, he slides back into the ring and smashes into the back of RVD knocking RVD down to the ground before storming into The Miz. Lesnar begins to drive his fists into the ribcage of the Miz before throwing Miz over the top rope. Lesnar stands in the middle of the ring and begins to snarl before leaving the ring with only six competitors left.
-==
The Miz has been eliminated by Brock Lesnar==-
Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries and The Brian Kendrick all manage to get themselves up to a vertical base, each have a corner each but then the giants awaken, The Great Khali and Kane are back up to their feet as well.
Cole: Look at the two giants standing in the middle of the ring surrounded by the potential giant slayers.
JBL: It’s now or never to remove the biggest threats in the match.
Kendrick and RVD go for Khali while Aries & Jeff Hardy attempt to tackle Kane; Hardy and Aries begins to force Kane back into a corner but Kane keeps fight back while The Brian Kendrick and Rob Van Dam are getting manhandled by The Great Khali. Khali tosses The Brian Kendrick into the opposite corner to Kane; Khali delivers a thunderous open hand slap across the chest of The Brian Kendrick before Irish Whipping Kendrick across the ring but Kendrick manages to regain his own momentum and manages to grab the head of Austin Aries on the way through and looks to hit the Kendrick by running up the body of Kane but Aries impressively manages to hold on The Kendrick and throws Kendrick over the top rope to the ground below eliminating him from the back but in Kane’s race; he tosses Aries over the top rope as well, bringing down the numbers to four.
-==
The Brian Kendrick has been eliminated by Austin Aries==-
-==
Austin Aries has been eliminated by Kane==-
The final four separate themselves from each other, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy, Kane and the Great Khali have survived everyone else. Kane pulls his glove tight, Khali roars while Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy seemingly take defensive positions and it looks like the giants about to do war once more.
JBL: Look at RVD and Jeff Hardy they’re watching on, let the big boys sort this out then go after the winner.
Khali and Kane square up to each other in the middle of the ring once again but this time Kane boots Khali in the gut and grabs Khali and scoop him up and over his shoulder. Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy in a state of shock as is everyone at Kane’s strength.
Cole: OH MY GOD! Kane has the Great Khali on his shoulder.
JBL: This is unbelievable, what strength by Kane, in my opinion if Kane gets Khali over the top rope, he’s gonna win this match and vice versa!
Kane manages to turn with Great Khali on his shoulder but as Kane looks to end this match, Roman Reigns slides into the ring and charges across the ring and Spears Kane! Khali stumbles backwards off the shoulder of Kane against the ring ropes; the fans are livid with Roman Reigns as he ends it all off with tossing Kane over the top rope before leaving and leaping over the barricade and leaving the way he came, through the crowd.
-==
Kane has been eliminated by Roman Reigns==-
Cole: WHAT THE HELL IS ROMAN REIGNS DOING!?
JBL: Making a statement that he can go toe to toe with the biggest boys in the yard… And seeing that Kane can lift the Great Khali, he is the Alpha Male and clearly the Hound of Justice after that spot!
No-one can believe it as Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy and The Great Khali are the last three in this match; RVD and Jeff Hardy look at each other in some sort of agreement, knowing they have to work as a team to get rid of Great Khali if they are to stand a chance in this match. Jeff Hardy and RVD both charge at Great Khali and leap up hitting a double drop kick to the Great Khali setting him backwards onto the ring ropes, Khali arches over the top rope but he isn’t gone yet. Rob Van Dam leaps up onto the second rope and springboards off to hit Khali with a springboard thrust kick but the giant still isn’t over the top rope yet as Jeff Hardy grabs the legs of the Great Khali and manages to lift Great Khali over the top rope as one Great Khali’s legs hits the floor.
JBL: By Joe, the team work of Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy are working.
Cole: Just one more hit will do it!
Rob Van Dam climbs to the top rope as Jeff Hardy recovers himself, RVD leaps off the top rope going for Diving Thrust Kick as Khali gets both feet on the ring apron but Khali manages to grab Rob Van Dam by the throat and throws him over the top eliminating Rob Van Dam with a hideous thud bringing it down to Great Khali and Jeff Hardy in the singles match for the UWF Global Championship.
UWF Global Championship Match
Jeff Hardy vs. The Great Khali w/Singh
Jeff Hardy is desperately trying to catch his breath as the mighty Khali walks over the top rope back into the ring, Khali is tired but he isn’t as worn out and battered as Jeff Hardy and Jeff Hardy still has a mountain to topple. Jeff Hardy hauls himself up using the ring ropes, as the giant Khali looms over Jeff Hardy but Hardy uses all his strength and delivers a boot into the right knee of Great Khali, stunning the giant, Hardy hits a low dropkick to Khali to Khali almost drop down to one knee.
JBL: Go on kid, you almost got him down.
Cole: I can’t believe Jeff Hardy is still in this match.
Jeff Hardy boots Khali again in the side of Khali’s right knee, sending the giant down to one knee; The Great Khali looks pissed as he swats Jeff Hardy away but Jeff Hardy isn’t afraid as he leaps up to go for a dropkick but Khali swats Jeff Hardy away. Hardy crashes to the canvas but he uses to the ropes to get back to his feet but the Great Khali is getting back up to his feet as well.
Cole: What is it going to take to get that giant down!?
JBL: It’s going to take guts and determination, two things Jeff Hardy has in a bundle!
Jeff Hardy boots Great Khali in the gut and grabs the head of The Great Khali and goes for the Twist of Fate but Khali holds onto the ring ropes; Hardy hits the canvas with a thud but he manages to get back to his feet as Khali drives down his deadly chop to the head of Hardy. It’s seemingly game over as the Great Khali places his boot across the chest of Jeff Hardy, for referee Charles Robinson to make the count.
One
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Two
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Thr
Cole: Oh my…
JBL: Jeff Hardy has a ton of heart and plenty of guts; I tell you Cole, Khali is going to have to kill Jeff Hardy to walk away with the UWF Global Championship!
Jeff Hardy gets his shoulder up and the crowd goes wild for the Anarchy superstar whose still in this. Great Khali roars in frustration as he deadlifts Jeff Hardy up from the canvas and grabs both sides of the head of Jeff Hardy into the Vice Grip. The fans are urging Jeff Hardy on as Great Khali squeezes tighter but Jeff Hardy is still alive flailing his arms around the place, he knows he doesn’t have the strength to break Great Khali’s grip so instead he boots Great Khali in the right knee, Great Khali releases his grip on Jeff Hardy but Khali is still functional and grabs the right arm of Jeff Hardy and Irish Whips him across the ring towards the turnbuckles but Jeff Hardy runs up the turnbuckles with all his energy and leaps off the turnbuckle and twists to hit following Great Khali with the Willow in the Wisp! The Great Khali is down on the canvas and the fans can feel it, Jeff Hardy is about to win the match but during Great Khali’s fall, he clipped Charles Robinson whose struggling to regain his composure.
Cole: Jeff Hardy could get it down here, I don’t believe it!
JBL: What does this mean for the Global Championship, does it go to Anarchy or do we get Jeff Hardy on Impact?
Jeff Hardy pulls off his shirt and tosses it into the crowd before climbing on to the top rope, the fans are going wild as Hardy goes to stand up but Ranjin Singh gets involved leaping up onto the ring apron and grabs the foot of Jeff Hardy but Hardy begins to lash out kicking at Ranjin Singh; ultimately Jeff Hardy manages to force Singh off of his foot. Jeff Hardy stands up and leaps off the top rope but Khali has gotten back to his feet and catches Jeff Hardy by the throat and hoists Hardy up with both hands before dropping Hardy down with the Chokebomb that shakes the ring. Charles Robinson is shaken into action as he turns around to see the Great Khali placing his boot on Jeff Hardy for a pin.
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Two
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Three
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Cole: I don’t believe it, Singh just cost Hardy the UWF Global Championship!
JBL: What a Earth Shaking Punjabi Plunge Cole!
*Ding Ding Ding*
-==Winner via Pinfall at 75 minutes and 27 seconds and the first ever UWF Global Champion: The Great Khali==-
The arena erupt into a chorus of boos as the Great Khali is handed the UWF Global Championship, this Goliath of a man roars at the top of his mighty lungs as he hoists the championship high above his head to the disgust of the fans. While the camera surveys the damage at ringside of Rob Van Dam, Grado, Kane and Jeff Hardy. Khali stands a defiant giant to end the first ever UWF Impact.
Credits:
Promos: The TTer's
Hassan/Sting: Natlav and Dexter
Christian/RVD: Rawisrey
Everything else: WWS
