Loss is funny in a twisted sort of way

[Killz]

*DISCLAIMER* - potentially depressing thread.

...and I mean it's sort of..ironic or something.

I knew my Great Nan my entire life till she died a year and a half ago. I went to the funeral and I cried and stood behind the coffin as one of the few male descendants of the lineage but while she was alive I didn't much like her. It seems horrible to say and only now can I look back and say that her being the way she was probably helped my family get over the loss quicker.

I only say this because yesterday I lost my Grandad George. Now, this seems like a ridiculous thing to be doing about 36 hours after the death of a family member but it felt like the only thing I had left to do to occupy my mind after listening to music for hours and hours was visit the old wrestling forums. I guess this is a tribute to him in a way and just something to keep the mind busy.

I only MET him about a year ago. 2 years after meeting my biological dad. He didn't want his family involved with me when he barely knew me...seems horrible at this point because my Grandad George was absolutely THE MAN. He seemed entirely like myself, where I got my looks and personality from my dads side I presume. Losing him, in such sudden fashion, when I not only loved him as a member of my family but also as a man, a person and a friend makes it harder.

So I guess I'm wondering, as a thread topic, how have you guys dealt with loss? What do you do? How long did it take to get over?

RIP man, as he'd say himself, he's 'in a better fucking place now'

 

[Troy]

Sorry to hear about your loss man. Thanks for sharing it and it is good to just get some thoughts off your chest about the whole situation. It is good to talk about it with someone rather than keeping it all bottled up inside.

To start with whatever anyone says there is no right way to deal with loss. Everyone grieves in a different way and reacts to the situation differently. Some prefer to throw themselves into their work, others prefer to sit in a quiet spot and just reflect just go with whatever feels natural to you.

Personally, I lost my dad to a massive heart attack the day before my fifteenth birthday. He wasn't ill before that day and he was a healthy person. It was just genetic since his dad died reasonably young from a heart attack and it came out of nowhere. I am a pretty quiet person and am not that outwardly emotional. The way I dealt with it was to in a way try to ignore it when I was with other people, like when I went back to school after it happened I put on a face and didn't bring it up at all. I was rocked a couple of times though when people would say to me sorry for your loss since it would stun me. I would reflect when I was on my own but I never really talked about it and I regret not talking about it more at the time. It has been nearly seven years since he died and I still regularly think about him. There are so many things that I wish I could have done with him. I will be doing something and think how much he would have enjoyed it. Like now I invest in shares and I think it is something that we would have enjoyed doing together if he was still here. When there is a sporting event on I know that we would have gone to see it. We also had a similar kind of humour so even know I will find something funny that I am sure he would have enjoyed. It has given me a completely different perspective on life since anything can happen at any time to anyone. Now I am a more pessimistic person because of this.

Since then I have lost both my Oma's, two aunts and an uncle and honestly they haven't hit me hard at all. It sounds horrible but I think because I lost my dad when I was young it caused me to be emotionally desensitised to death. I see that death can happen at any time and that it is never ever fair.

 

[Dademo]

I have one grandparent left alive who is relatively young. Two of my grandparents died in the last decade and my other one died in 1968, well before I was born, so I never even met him. As a little kid when my other grandparents died, I was sad, and I cried. I haven't lost an important member of my family since (Hoping I didn't Jinx) but I feel like the only way to deal with a huge loss is just to move on. I don't want to sulk and be said when a loved one dies because I don't want it to affect me much. They made me happy when they were alive, but now they are dead, and there's just flat out nothing I can do now, so why not move on? That's how I hope I feel when a loved one dies next.