Ricky Ranson: Standing by me at this time is the debuting JC Epick.
JC Epick: Listen here Dweeb, I am JC Epick. A lot of people may not know who I am just yet but they will get to know me soon enough. One thing you need to learn about me is that I conduct my own interviews. That's right, I can easily talk by myself and I don't need some goofball like yourself asking me questions. Now I could stand here and make fun of you all day long. I could talk about how you are a geek or a goober or an oaf or a goober or, or I could call you a jackass who needs to get the hell out of my face. I think I will go with option number two so hit the bricks! Do you not understand what I am saying? Haul ass!
Ricky Ranson finally leaves and JC Epick smiles at him as he leaves. Not a nice smile but more of a jerkish, smart ass, smile.
I don't need a damn interviewer to talk. I can stand here, scratch that. I WILL stand here and tell you all who I am and why I am here by myself. I don't need that embicile. For those of you who don't recognize me from busting my ass, night in and night out on the Indy Scene, I am JC Epick. I am here in WKF for a lot of reasons. The most important reason being, I have dreamed about being in a successful wrestling company since I was an infant. I started wrestling when I was 16 and I have seen promotions come and go. I can certainly tell that WKF will be here for a very long time. I have been working my ass to the bone for the past decade trying to make it big time but I never got the oppurtunity. Those around me with less talent got oppurtunities because of people they knew but JC Epick didn't get shit. I now have my chance. Curtis Ange sees something in me that nobody else sees. He sees my talent. I could stand up here and read the Bible for five hours and dammit, it would be entertaining! That's how much charisma I have. Another reason I came to WKF was because I want to donate a lot of the money I make to charity. I want each and every single one of you to sit back, shut your pie hole, and lock your eyes on this video right now.
[video=youtube;CSGdwiDHE-Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSGdwiDHE-Q[/video]
Kosair Children's Hospital is a hospital about 45 miles from where I grew up. I try to give most of my money to the hospitital and all of the foundations that occur, just like the one in the video. It tears me up inside to sit back and watch these kids with severe illnesses and you people don't do a damn thing about it. I give to charity like these and that makes me better than each and every single one of you. Tickets for tonight's show were sold from a price range of 25-160 dollars. You people paid between 25-160 dollars to come watch wrestling. Sure wrestling is entertaining but people have there lives on the line out there and you could be helping them but instead you're doing nothing more but pleasing yourself. There are men and women overseas putting there lives on the line for this country and you people don't do a damn thing but waste your money on coming to a wrestling show or going to a movie or a sports game or spending it on booze or marijuana. I like to party too but I also help people and it makes me better than you.
Epick pulls out his wallet and shows the camera.
You see that there? No money in my wallet. Why? Because I gave it all away on the way here to help a homeless person on the side of the road. I am done speaking with you about everything I have done and why I am such a good person because I don't have anything to prove to any of you. I only need to prove to myself that I am the wrestler that I say I am. This week on Friday Night Carnage, I make my debut in the Wrestling Kings Federation. I was recently informed that my opponent is a man named Chucho Hiroshi. I don't know the dude since he is making his debut as well but I did a bit of a background check, you might call it. I searched what this guy was all about. The main reason why he is a wrestler is because him and his friend always dreamed of making it in this business together. Chucho's friend was killed and now he wants to make both of there dreams a reality. I think that Chucho needs to realize something. His friend is dead. Why is he trying to live for his friend? He needs to live for himself and those around him who can still fuckin breathe! Even if you do make it big time, you're friend wouldn't know it because he is buried in a graveyard somewhere. Well maybe he's cremated. Those Japs are crazy mofos when it comes to that shit so who knows where the man's body is now. Hell, Chucho might be at home worshiping his friend's dead body right now. I have never wrestler a jap so it's going to be a rare occasion. It certainly will be interesting to see two men debut against each other though. The only thing that is not interesting will be that the match will blow. Why will the match blow? Because it won't be five seconds long. I will take Chucho down and I will lock in the Crippler Crossface. Chucho will be tapping and crying for mercy, in a blink of an eye. I am original whether I am on the microphone or in the ring and Chucho will find that out this week because I am the type of wrestler that nobody has ever seen before. I will blow everyone's mind by the quality of my astronamic ability. Friday night, Chucho will be falling from an Epic beatdown and will fall at the hands of The Original!