If X were a Title: tracking the lineage of some strange stipulations

[Leon TrotSky]

Thanks to @Moscow Mitch for this one:
Whose stable does John Cena have to join?

Spoiler: Who holds Cena's stable rights?

2010-10-03 Wade Barrett - beats John Cena at WWE Hell in a Cell. As a result, Cena has to join the Nexus.
2010-10-10 Randy Orton - beats Barrett and Sheamus in a Triple Threat Steel Cage match at a WWE live event
[2010-10-19 Orton beats Kane to win the ball-o-stuff. Well, shit.]
2010-11-22 The Miz - beats Orton on WWE Raw
2011-01-31 Edge - beats Miz on WWE Raw

Hey, Edge actually kind of does have a stable. Just that it's made up of Scott Steiner, Stacy Keibler, Judy Bagwell, Dominick Mysterio, and a really sweet leather jacket.

 

[Mitch Buchannon]

I actually looked it up myself and was like "well fuck"

 

[Brandon Blaze]

Man, Orton might leave Backlash with so much shit. He better make sure to bring a bus.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Man, Orton might leave Backlash with so much shit. He better make sure to bring a bus.

Has anyone ever won a bus as the result of a wrestling match?

 

[Brandon Blaze]

Has anyone ever won a bus as the result of a wrestling match?

I'm not sure, but I'm sure someone around here will know.

@Nikita Chrischev @Mr. Peanutbutter @Moscow Mitch @Karl Smarx @One Mao Band

 

[Leon TrotSky]

For now, let's go to 2008 TNA and to the darkest moment of Dustin Rhodes' career.
Who owns Black Reign's pet rat?

Spoiler: Who holds the rat?

2008-01-21 Kazarian - beats Black Reign in a Rat on a Pole match on TNA Impact
2008-02-11 Robert Roode - beats Kaz on TNA Xplosion
2008-03-08 Joe Hardway - beats Roode at ACE Destined for Greatness
2008-08-09 Bandido Jr. - beats Hardway at WXW C4 6
2008-08-16 Grim Reefer - beats Bandido and Dixie in a Three-Way match at JAPW Exit 14A Homecoming
2008-08-23 Crazii Shea - beats Reefer at a DCW live event
2008-10-18 Mark Harro - beats Shea at DCW All Hallows' Eve
2008-10-18 Kao Storm - beats Harro at DCW All Hallows' Eve
2009-01-31 RGP - beats Storm at DCW Fire At Will
2009-05-09 Greywolf - beats RGP at DCW Slugger Slam
2009-09-25 Mark Harro (2) - beats Greywolf and Kotori in a Three-Way match at DCW Airbase Infiltration
2012-09-22 Mat Bomboy - beats Harro at DCW Piledriving Breast Cancer
2013-03-24 Cory Kastle - beats Bomboy at DCW Guts and Glory 10
2013-04-13 Sonny Deeds - beats Kastle in a Farmington Whipping at DCW Altered State
2013-07-13 Ryan Rush - beats Deeds and Courageous Cruz at RCP Festivus
2013-07-25 Papadon - beats Rush at NYWC Trust No One
2013-08-10 Luke Hawx - beats Papadon, Drolix, Adam Cole, Mike Mondo, and Derek Frazier in a Six-Way match at MCW Shane Shamrock Memorial Cup
2013-09-06 Jay Lethal - beats Hawx at ROH Road to Greatness
2013-09-21 Matt Taven - beats Lethal on ROH TV
2013-11-16 Michael Elgin - beats Taven, Lethal, and Roderick Strong in a Four Corner Survival match at ROH Pursuit
2013-11-22 Rhyno - beats Elgin at 2CW 7th Annual 2CWathon
2013-11-24 DBA - beats Rhyno in a First Blood match at XICW 171
2014-04-27 Hakim Zane - beats DBA at XICW 177
2014-05-03 Vernal Lee Samson - beats Zane at WAR Blurred Lines
2014-06-28 Remi Wilkins - beats Samson at WAR Action in the Arches
2014-10-18 Peter Schwanz - beats Wilkins and Chris Jones in a Three-Way match at PGP Movie House Mayhem 2
2015-02-21 Guy Smith - beats Schwanz at PGP New Frontiers
2021-09-18 Roy Lewis - beats Smith at a PWA live event
2021-11-20 Tanner Keeler - beats Lewis at a PWA live event
2021-03-12 Dustin Leonard - beats Keeler in a UWFi Rules match at PPW UWFi Rules Contenders Series
2022-02-18 Tom Lawlor - beats Dustin Leonard in a UWFi Rules match at PPW Indiana Fight Club
2022-02-20 Alex Shelley - beats Lawlor and Dalton Castle in a Three-Way match at PRESTIGE Roseland 2
2022-03-05 Jay White - beats Shelley at Impact Sacrifice
2022-04-01 Chris Sabin - beats Switchblade at Impact Multiverse of Matches
2022-04-23 Steve Maclin - beats Sabin and Jay White in a Three-Way match at Impact Rebellion
2022-04-24 Tomohiro Ishii - beats Maclin on Impact Wrestling
2022-05-01 Hiroshi Tanahashi - beats Ishii at NJPW Wrestling Dontaku
2022-05-14 Juice Robinson - beats Tanahashi, Moxley, and Ospreay in a Four-Way match at NJPW Capital Collision
2022-07-26 David Finlay - beats Juice at NJPW G1 Climax 32
2022-08-10 El Phantasmo - beats Finlay at NJPW G1 Climax 32
2022-10-10 Shingo Takagi - beats ELP in a Who's Your Daddy match at NJPW Declaration of Power
2023-02-11 Kazuchika Okada - beats Takagi at NJPW The New Beginning
[2023-02-21 he merges with the letter T and the ring]

(edit 2024-10 - OP cleanup)

This was supposed to be a short one that converged quickly but it went through a million indies from bumfuck nowhere and 2 guys who don't even have Cagematch pages. I need sleep

 

[Kiffy Lube]

Cagematch doesn't even recognize that Joey Spectre currently holds two Texas Indy championships. You may need to start diggin' deeper.

I was masturbatin' all over my keyboard and had an idea you should find out who is the real 24/7 champion.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Who's the current AWA World Champion as Larry Zbyszko held it last before going to WCW.

 

[Chris]

Just gonna go ahead and guess Edge for that one Grim

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Just gonna go ahead and guess Edge for that one Grim

God I hope not.

Probably some Japanese bloke.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Okay, here's one that definitely won't end with Edge or some retired indy guy. Definitely.
Who is the rightful current World's Strongest Man?

Spoiler: Who holds the WSM?

2014-10-26 Bo Dallas - declares himself to be the New World's Strongest Man prior to his match with Mark Henry at WWE Hell in a Cell, due to his being 3-0 vs. Henry in singles
2014-10-26 Mark Henry - beats Dallas at WWE Hell in a Cell
2014-11-24 Ryback - beats Henry on WWE Raw
2015-03-03 Big Show - beats Ryback on WWE SmackDown
2015-03-05 Ryback (2) - beats Show at a WWE live event
2015-03-06 Rusev - beats Ryback at a WWE live event
2015-03-29 John Cena - beats Rusev at WWE WrestleMania 31
2015-05-31 Kevin Owens - beats Cena at WWE Elimination Chamber
2015-06-14 John Cena (2) - beats KO at WWE Money in the Bank
2015-08-23 Seth Rollins - beats Cena at WWE SummerSlam
2015-09-07 Ryback (3) - beats Rollins on WWE Raw
2015-09-08 Seth Rollins (2) - beats Ryback in a Lumberjack match on WWE SmackDown
2015-09-20 John Cena (3) - beats Rollins at WWE Night of Champions
2015-10-25 Alberto Del Rio - beats Cena at WWE Hell in a Cell
2015-10-26 Roman Reigns - beats Alberto, KO, and Dolph Ziggler in a Fatal Four-Way match on WWE Raw
2015-11-22 Sheamus - beats Reigns at WWE Survivor Series
2015-12-14 Roman Reigns (2) - beats Sheamus on WWE Raw
2016-06-19 Seth Rollins (3) - beats Reigns at WWE Money in the Bank
2016-06-19 Dean Ambrose - beats Rollins at WWE Money in the Bank
2016-09-11 AJ Styles - beats Ambrose at WWE Backlash
2016-10-04 John Cena (4) - beats Styles on WWE SmackDown (dark)
2016-10-08 AJ Styles (2) - beats Cena and Ambrose in a Triple Threat match at a WWE live event
2016-10-11 James Ellsworth - beats Styles on WWE SmackDown
2016-10-22 Johnny Maverick - beats Ellsworth and Grimey Kantrell in a Three-Way match at an SWE live event
2017-01-25 Sir Samurai - beats Maverick and 5 others in a Seven Man Scramble at an SPW live event
2017-04-23 Pat Fitzpatrick - beats Samurai, Jeckles, Drake Frost, and Scoot Robertson in a Five-Way match at an SPW live event
2017-04-29 Will Roberts - beats Fitzpatrick, Rik Luxury, Kenny K, Kaka Meng, and Steven Tresario in a Six-Way match at GRPW Road to the Gold Coast
2017-05-19 Vintage Dragon - beats Roberts and Johnny Dynamo in a Three-Way match at Vendetta Pro Melee
2017-06-18 Rudy Luna - beats Dragon, Peter Avalon, and Damian Drake in a Four-Way Elimination match at AOW Homecoming
2019-05-18 Steven Andrews - beats Luna at an AOW live event
2019-06-15 Sexy Chino - beats Andrews and 8 others in a Scramble match at LWP Outta Control
2019-12-21 Ricotta Flair - beats Chino and Emo Tap in a Three-Way match at WPW TurkeyMania 3
2021-07-31 Sexy Chino - beats Flair at WPW As Soon As Possible
2021-08-28 King Dezi - beats Chino at WPW Summer Squash 2: Out Of Our Gourds!
2022-06-12 Poptart Boy - beats King Dezi at WPW Battle for Uranus

Trust Ellsworth to fuck it up for everyone. Ricotta Flair doesn't have a Cagematch page but he seems to be active in WPW, so watch the event results to see if he drops the title of World's Strongest Man.

edit 2024-10 for OP cleanup

 

[Brandon Blaze]

It's either Edge or someone who's not wrestled in a few years.

 

[Chris]

2014-10-26 Bo Dallas - declares himself to be the New World's Strongest Man prior to his match with Mark Henry at WWE Hell in a Cell, due to his being 3-0 vs. Henry in singles
2014-10-26 Mark Henry - beats Dallas at WWE Hell in a Cell

This was the best way this could have started

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Thanks @Grimhail Gorbachev for this one:
Who is the current rightful AWA World Heavyweight Champion?

Spoiler: Who holds the AWA Title?

1990-04-08 Larry Zbyszko - beats Masa Saito at AWA SuperClash IV, becoming the last AWA World Heavyweight Champion. In December, the title is vacated apparently due to Zbyszko refusing to defend on a tour of Japan; in reality, it's because he has left the sinking ship for WCW.
1991-02-08 Terry Taylor - beats Zbyszko at a WCW live event
1991-02-27 Z-Man (Tom Zenk) - beats Taylor at a WCW live event
1991-03-10 Barry Windham - beats Zenk at a WCW live event
1991-05-31 Sting - beats Windham at a WCW live event
1991-06-21 Stan Hansen - beats Sting at a WCW live event
[1992-01-28 Hansen beats Jumbo Tsuruta, meaning the AWA WHC also has Baby Doll, Precious, and the name "The Man"...]
2020-01-19 Zac Taylor - beats Zayne, ACH, and Chandler Hopkins in a Four Corners match at Inspire Pro New Ecstasy of Gold

No one has heard of this man, but he will surely pass into legend.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

How the fuck does Terry Taylor beat Larry Z of all people.