Carnage Feedback
I liked the opening video. Most definitely served its purpose, very nicely written indeed. I liked the line that featured Sabu, almost seemed like a little pot shot .
JR and Heyman on commentary is top notch. Should’ve had them introduce themselves though.
Foley opening the show is obviously the most logical decision. I need to make mention of the fact straight away that I don’t like him being referred to as the “General Managerâ€. That , to me anyway, is a WWE term and you should be looking to establish a different term for your authority figure, just to clearly differentiate yourself away from the WWE. Hope that makes sense. Foley seemed a little off for me, just didn’t seem in character. Quite generic tbh. Didn’t even have his regulatory cheap pop line, hyping the city they’re in. Orton’s arrival came very early, but it was a breath of fresh air though. I didn’t like that he had all the heat poured upon him, I would think at the very least he would get a mixed reaction, given the fact that we’re yet to establish if he’s a heel or face in HOW. Obviously once he begun speaking, it became very clear very quickly that he is indeed a heel. Ah, there’s the cheap pop eventually. I’m glad you got it in. Quite a short promo really, but I must admit I did enjoy the way you wrote Orton. You captured his character quite well, obviously he’s going to be on the end of a big push and you’re going to establish him as a major player and if you continue to write him in such a fashion, I think you’ll go well. He was very easy to visualise and the promo flowed nicely. I think the only thing/s wrong with this promo was Foley’s character at the beginning and the fact that it was a little short. I think it could’ve had a little more depth to it. Just more opinion, though.
Fatal Fourway to kick things off. Looks good on paper. Kennedy or Burchill are my picks for this one, probably Kennedy though. He’s one I think you need to build, quick. Okay, decent enough mate but I’m not sure about your recap style. What stanza of the match are you actually recapping? The whole thing? If so, that’d be disastrous. Sure enough, Kennedy gets the win. Right decision for mine, definitely has the most star power out of the four, so probably the right choice, the ending though was a clusterfuck. I got lost to be honest. I didn’t like the fact that Kennedy copped the C4 and then got up so fast (albeit with the use of the turnbuckle) and then managed to hit the Mic Check. The C4 is a move where people should just quite simply be dead after enduring it, not in a position to get up and win a title moments later.
Generic Hardy promo to be honest. He’s going to be a big player in this thread, how big will be determined. If he wins the Main Event, it’ll be apparent your serious about his push but I think Orton will go over, given the fact he’ll be your top heel for sure. If Orton loses tonight, you could seriously drop the ball on him.
Teaming Orton up with DiBiase and Rhodes would be a wise decision and one you should certainly endeavour to make.
So we have Londrick taking on Priceless. A good match on paper to be honest. Very familiar structure of the match with the faces looking quite strong for the most part before we get Harry Smith coming down to make the assist. You’ve done well on two bases here, you’ve made Londrick look quite strong, despite being defeated and you’ve made steps towards establishing a nice stable in HOW. The match itself was solid although at some stages the flow was hampered due to poor sentence structure. You managed to create a clear visualisation as to what was going down, so that worked in your favour but it didn’t flow all that smoothly in some stages, particularly the final paragraph. The main point of this match was the development of this new stable and potentially a program between them and Paul London and Brian Kendrick.
Come on now, a mixed reaction for Jericho? He’d get a big pop. Regardless of his allegiance in the WWE, he’d get a damn big pop in a new promotion. For instance, if he signed with TNA tomorrow IRL, he’d damn sure get a HUGE ovation when he arrived. Nice promo though, as Jericho quickly establishes his character. He’s obviously interfering in the Main Event, though.
I’ve just noticed that you’re doing ring intros. Props to ya, but in my mind, and others, they really aren’t necessary for a weekly show. By all means for a PPV, but I don’t think that add anything to a normal weekly show. Lol as soon as I saw that Sandman was taking on Jimmy Jacobs, there was always only one way for this match to go. Right decision to be honest. The ending was pretty fucking brutal to be honest, not sure how I feel about it. Maybe a little TOO brutal for a normal match, would’ve been a great finish to a big feud on PPV but I think this also establishes that the Hardcore Title means something to a few folks while it also entrenches Jacob’s as a feel, fucking up someone like the Sandman is always a good way to get a heel over.
Joe means business. Look out.
Damn you for jobbing out Noble. Don’t like Joe in the X Division, you certainly confirmed to us that Joe is a beast in this match. Not impressed that it had to be Noble that got sacrificed. Build Joe as a bad ass motherfucker and I’ll be happy.
Main Event time already? Back to back matches is a no no for me, but the fact that you’re up the Main Event is a tribute to how much time you’re giving your matches. I love that you’re focusing on actual wrestling reather than promos, but whether this continues for coming shows remains to be seen. The match itself was good and was booked with a degree of similarity about it to the Tag Team match earlier on. Jeff looked plenty strong but as expected, Orton picks up the win. Right decision made there mate. You’ve given Orton some momentum as well as begun hyping a feud between Jeff and Jericho. Good stuff.
Overall, an enjoyable first show. It had its flaws but they were minimal. Firstly, the fact we didn’t get to see Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, Christian Cage and CM Punk is a travesty. I know you obviously didn’t wanna cram to much in, BUT, you need to showcase all your big guns on the first show. I learned that the hard way with my thread. Your match recaps are okay, little bit confusing, not quite sure in the manor of which you conduct your recaps. I think you’re briefly covering the whole match, but I’m not sure? Please clarify. You also need to work on your sentence structure and wording at various points. Now and again you’d use the wrong words in sentences and it would totally kill the flow of either the promo or the match. One more promo over the course of the show probably would’ve been advisable, but like I said, I love the fact that you’re show casing the actual in ring wrestling. Even the shortest match got a good amount of time. Other than that, (except the destruction of Jamie Noble) it was all good first show bud.
On a side note, lookings at your news, I think signing MVP would leave the roster way too stacked. It's already chockers, I think someone like MVP would be over kill.
Yep. Posted twice.
I liked the opening video. Most definitely served its purpose, very nicely written indeed. I liked the line that featured Sabu, almost seemed like a little pot shot .
JR and Heyman on commentary is top notch. Should’ve had them introduce themselves though.
Foley opening the show is obviously the most logical decision. I need to make mention of the fact straight away that I don’t like him being referred to as the “General Managerâ€. That , to me anyway, is a WWE term and you should be looking to establish a different term for your authority figure, just to clearly differentiate yourself away from the WWE. Hope that makes sense. Foley seemed a little off for me, just didn’t seem in character. Quite generic tbh. Didn’t even have his regulatory cheap pop line, hyping the city they’re in. Orton’s arrival came very early, but it was a breath of fresh air though. I didn’t like that he had all the heat poured upon him, I would think at the very least he would get a mixed reaction, given the fact that we’re yet to establish if he’s a heel or face in HOW. Obviously once he begun speaking, it became very clear very quickly that he is indeed a heel. Ah, there’s the cheap pop eventually. I’m glad you got it in. Quite a short promo really, but I must admit I did enjoy the way you wrote Orton. You captured his character quite well, obviously he’s going to be on the end of a big push and you’re going to establish him as a major player and if you continue to write him in such a fashion, I think you’ll go well. He was very easy to visualise and the promo flowed nicely. I think the only thing/s wrong with this promo was Foley’s character at the beginning and the fact that it was a little short. I think it could’ve had a little more depth to it. Just more opinion, though.
Fatal Fourway to kick things off. Looks good on paper. Kennedy or Burchill are my picks for this one, probably Kennedy though. He’s one I think you need to build, quick. Okay, decent enough mate but I’m not sure about your recap style. What stanza of the match are you actually recapping? The whole thing? If so, that’d be disastrous. Sure enough, Kennedy gets the win. Right decision for mine, definitely has the most star power out of the four, so probably the right choice, the ending though was a clusterfuck. I got lost to be honest. I didn’t like the fact that Kennedy copped the C4 and then got up so fast (albeit with the use of the turnbuckle) and then managed to hit the Mic Check. The C4 is a move where people should just quite simply be dead after enduring it, not in a position to get up and win a title moments later.
Generic Hardy promo to be honest. He’s going to be a big player in this thread, how big will be determined. If he wins the Main Event, it’ll be apparent your serious about his push but I think Orton will go over, given the fact he’ll be your top heel for sure. If Orton loses tonight, you could seriously drop the ball on him.
Teaming Orton up with DiBiase and Rhodes would be a wise decision and one you should certainly endeavour to make.
So we have Londrick taking on Priceless. A good match on paper to be honest. Very familiar structure of the match with the faces looking quite strong for the most part before we get Harry Smith coming down to make the assist. You’ve done well on two bases here, you’ve made Londrick look quite strong, despite being defeated and you’ve made steps towards establishing a nice stable in HOW. The match itself was solid although at some stages the flow was hampered due to poor sentence structure. You managed to create a clear visualisation as to what was going down, so that worked in your favour but it didn’t flow all that smoothly in some stages, particularly the final paragraph. The main point of this match was the development of this new stable and potentially a program between them and Paul London and Brian Kendrick.
Come on now, a mixed reaction for Jericho? He’d get a big pop. Regardless of his allegiance in the WWE, he’d get a damn big pop in a new promotion. For instance, if he signed with TNA tomorrow IRL, he’d damn sure get a HUGE ovation when he arrived. Nice promo though, as Jericho quickly establishes his character. He’s obviously interfering in the Main Event, though.
I’ve just noticed that you’re doing ring intros. Props to ya, but in my mind, and others, they really aren’t necessary for a weekly show. By all means for a PPV, but I don’t think that add anything to a normal weekly show. Lol as soon as I saw that Sandman was taking on Jimmy Jacobs, there was always only one way for this match to go. Right decision to be honest. The ending was pretty fucking brutal to be honest, not sure how I feel about it. Maybe a little TOO brutal for a normal match, would’ve been a great finish to a big feud on PPV but I think this also establishes that the Hardcore Title means something to a few folks while it also entrenches Jacob’s as a feel, fucking up someone like the Sandman is always a good way to get a heel over.
Joe means business. Look out.
Damn you for jobbing out Noble. Don’t like Joe in the X Division, you certainly confirmed to us that Joe is a beast in this match. Not impressed that it had to be Noble that got sacrificed. Build Joe as a bad ass motherfucker and I’ll be happy.
Main Event time already? Back to back matches is a no no for me, but the fact that you’re up the Main Event is a tribute to how much time you’re giving your matches. I love that you’re focusing on actual wrestling reather than promos, but whether this continues for coming shows remains to be seen. The match itself was good and was booked with a degree of similarity about it to the Tag Team match earlier on. Jeff looked plenty strong but as expected, Orton picks up the win. Right decision made there mate. You’ve given Orton some momentum as well as begun hyping a feud between Jeff and Jericho. Good stuff.
Overall, an enjoyable first show. It had its flaws but they were minimal. Firstly, the fact we didn’t get to see Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, Christian Cage and CM Punk is a travesty. I know you obviously didn’t wanna cram to much in, BUT, you need to showcase all your big guns on the first show. I learned that the hard way with my thread. Your match recaps are okay, little bit confusing, not quite sure in the manor of which you conduct your recaps. I think you’re briefly covering the whole match, but I’m not sure? Please clarify. You also need to work on your sentence structure and wording at various points. Now and again you’d use the wrong words in sentences and it would totally kill the flow of either the promo or the match. One more promo over the course of the show probably would’ve been advisable, but like I said, I love the fact that you’re show casing the actual in ring wrestling. Even the shortest match got a good amount of time. Other than that, (except the destruction of Jamie Noble) it was all good first show bud.
On a side note, lookings at your news, I think signing MVP would leave the roster way too stacked. It's already chockers, I think someone like MVP would be over kill.
Yep. Posted twice.
Should help build the teams up anyways.
@ the backstory's end. I will try to stay in synche with this BTB, and come by weekly. Good luck Bicep. I love your work dude. BTW, the sig maker says he will try to do so, but he's off the computer more often, since he took a trip to the wilderness, or something so he's outdoors more. I'll try, and pressure him to do it one of these days.