Re: GMMWF - Giant Mega Monster Wrestling Federation
[video=youtube;2XbCWmY0eqY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbCWmY0eqY[/video]
PRESENTS........
Fireworks go off and the camera pans across a hyped crowd. They finally settle and zoom in to the big screen set up at the entrance ramp.
"G'day bitches. You all know me as Outback Jack, and this is my new show, the Steakhouse. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, its just good old Outback Jack in front of an Outback Steakhouse and the truth is...you're right. It's exactly that, because the assholes at GMMWF wouldn't give me a bigger budget to get my own set so I have to shoot this shit guerilla style but trust me, its still gonna' be great. Now, at the first GMMWF pay per view, I had the pleasure of beating not only Sgt. Slaughter but also Bruiser Brody, Terry Gordy, Steve Williams and Stan Hansen. The bottom line is that there ain't no tougher son of a bitch in GMMWF than me, and that's just the fucking truth mate."
Jack motions to the camera man and then heads inside the restaurant. Once in there he walks over to a table of diners and grabs one of the butter knives out of their hands. He holds it close to their face.
"Look at this pathetic piece of crap. That's not a knife."
Jack pulls out his massive hunting knife and puts it right to the throat of the diner, who is visibly shaken.
"Now THAT's a knife."
Suddenly Stan Hansen appears out of nowhere and blindsides Jack, clubbing him about the head with a cow bell and knocking him to the floor. Hansen grabs the Bloomin' Onion off the patron's table and proceeds to shove it in Outback Jack's eyes. Jack screams while Hansen bites his nose until blood starts pouring out. He picks Jack up and proceeds to bodyslam him through the table, knocking food everywhere and the people to the floor. He stands over Jack's limp body.
"Now here this you Aussie piece of shit. I ain't finished with you by a long shot. Yer' goddamn croc took my buddy Bruiser out of the ring for at least a couple of weeks and that means I got some free time on my hands. Time I'm gonna' enjoy spendin' kickin' yer' fuckin' Australian dingo fucker ass from here to Brisbane if I have to. This is war you fucker, so take it on notice that I ain't gonna' rest 'til yer' dead!"
Hansen then spits in Jack's face and turns to leave but turns back to the patrons that are just getting up and cleaning themselves off.
"And remember folks, don't dine and dash."
Hansen then punches out the camera man which makes the camera fall, leaving us with a shot of the unconscious and quite bloody Outback Jack as Hansen walks out.
Back in the arena, Jon Moxley is in the ring. He stands ready to face his opponent and the announcer holds up the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is set for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Already in the ring is Jon Moxley, and his opponent, making his way down the aisle is Bam Bam Bigelow!"
The crowd roars as Bam Bam makes his way out to the ring. Moxley looks like he doesn't know what's happening and proceeds to try and run out of the ring only to be met with a huge flying headbutt from Bigelow. Bam Bam then picks him up and bodyslams him over the top rope. He heads to the outside and throws Moxley back into the ring, climbs in and hits a slingshot splash. He covers Moxley for the pin. Bigelow celebrates for a few moments before heading to the back. Moxley eventually gets up and, with a bloodthirsty look in his eyes, darts to the back screaming Bigelow's name at the top of his lungs.
In the back, Nick Bockwinkel walks alone until he comes upon a door with the name "Jim Brunzell" written on it. He knocks on the door and Brunzell answers. Bockwinkel immediately grabs Brunzell's hand and shakes it.
"Hey Jumping Jimmy, I heard through the grapevine that you were looking for a tag team partner. I'm here to offer my services and my years of experience. I've even got the perfect gimmick, we can be a gay tag team. I'm already putting in the paperwork to change my name to Nick Bocktwinkle and I want you to be Jimmy Bunzell. What do you think?"
Brunzell looks at Bockwinkel for a few moments and then smiles.
"I think we should discuss this a little further in my locker room, if that's alright with you that is?"
Bockwinkel nods and pats Brunzell on the butt before the two head into the room and close the door.
We head back to the ring where The Islanders stand ready to face their opponents. The announcer gets on the mic.
"Our next match is a one fall contest. In the ring, the team of Haku and Tama, The Islanders. And their opponents, making their way down the aisle with their manager, Mr. Fuji, the Holy Demon Army."
As soon as the Holy Demon Army hit the ring they grab Tama and proceed to beat the living hell out of him, quickly opening up a huge cut on his forehead. Haku desperately tries to plead with the ref but to no avail. Kawada and Taue show no mercy, as Fuji laughs in the corner, and they eventually spike piledrive Tama. Taue goes for the cover but pulls Tama up, while Kawada knocks Haku off the apron. Taue then hits a Burning Hammer on Tama and finally covers him for the pin. After the match, the two gloat in the ring until Haku charges and starts attacking them blindly. Though they are stronger than him, Haku manages to single-handedly get the better of them and chase them from the ring. Unfortunately the damage has been done as Tama is carried out on a stretcher. Haku grabs the microphone from the announcer and glares towards the back.
"Kawada...Taue...Fuji. I'm a man of few words, but each one of them involves pain like you couldn't imagine. All the angels in heaven and all the devils in hell won't be able to save you from me. Haku is dead, and in his place is....MENG!!!!
The fans go berserk as Meng drops the microphone, makes a throat slash gesture and then slowly walks to the back.
In the back, Jon Moxley is screaming Bigelow's name and is carrying a chair. He eventually bumps into Ric Flair, who sizes him up. Flair puts his hand on Moxley's shoulder and whispers in his ear. Moxley begins to smile, a deranged sort reserved for only the most special of psychopaths, and the two eventually walk off together. As they walk down the hall they pass Bruiser Brody's dressing room. The door opens and Brody exits, kissing a naked woman as he leaves, but not before slamming the door in here face. He is quickly grabbed by another naked woman and dragged into the room across the hall but not before he looks at the camera.
"HUSS...HUSS....HUSS"
Brody heads into the room with the naked woman and slams the door shut. The camera cuts to another room where The Surgeons, minus Zangiev, are conversing. Bob Backlund speaks up.
"Now listen here, we've got a match tonight against the Von Erich's. I don't want any fooling around from you guys, this is war and we've got to show them that the Surgeon's mean business."
Horst Hoffman looks up from his copy of The Economist.
"Well it would be easier if we had Zangiev around to help us. Where the hell is he anyway?"
The Destroyer speaks.
"He's taking some growth hormones or something. Apparently he was worried about being too small so he ordered some pills from China that are guaranteed to make him bigger."
Backlund cuts him off.
"You mean like the Viagra bottle that we found in your locker Destroyer? Heh heh."
The Destroyer flips out.
"What the fuck? That bottle said Hoffman on it!"
Hoffman grabs Destroyer.
"What the hell are you talking about? I don't take fucking Viagra!"
Hoffman and Destroyer start beating each other up in the corner while Backlund sits back and laughs. Finally he breaks the two of them up.
"Would you two give it a fucking rest? We've got a match tonight, let's get out there and kick those Von Erich butts."
Hoffman and Destroyer begrudgingly shake hands and then the three Surgeons head out the door. We cut to a shot of another dressing room with the name "Zangiev" on the door. Inaudible grunts and groans can be heard from within and the camera zooms in closer. Suddenly the door explodes outwards and the man that used to be skinny Victor Zangiev emerges.
He screams inaudibly at the camera and charges down the hallway.
Back in the ring, the announcer holds the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is a tag team contest and is one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Making their way to the ring, Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy and "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, the Miracle Violence Connection!"
The fans cheer as the MVC makes their way to the ring. Gordy and Williams are still a little banged up from the altercation with Hansen and Brody at Tim Tebow is the Anti Christ, but look to be in good shape.
"And their opponents....."
[video=youtube;DZZPy_vdpUQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZZPy_vdpUQ&feature=related[/video]
"The Midnight Express!!"
The two teams go at it right from the opening bell and the referee initially has trouble separating them. Finally Lane and Williams settle into a groove but its quickly ended when Williams dumps Lane to the outside. Gordy goes over to attack Lane but Eaton hits him with an axe handle from the top rope. He goes back up and tries another one but is met with a thunderous Williams clothesline and crumples in a heap on the floor. Gordy and Lane are duking it out in the stands and Lane eventually grabs Eaton and the two head up the ramp to the back. Unfortunately for them the MVC are on them and drag them back to the ring where Gordy hits a monster DDT on Eaton while Dr. Death hits a German Suplex on Lane that sends him flying out of the ring. Gordy covers Eaton for the three count but before the ref can count a mysterious masked man runs out and hits Gordy with a chair, prompting the ref to call for the bell. The Midnight Express are winners via DQ and quickly run to the back while the MVC stand in the ring looking pissed.
The screen goes blank as a voice over announcer is heard.
"Coming next week, the start of the greatest thing to hit GMMWF since its inception. Once this hits, nothing will ever be the same again. Ladies and gentlemen, next week, GMMWF is proud to present........
Back in the ring, the Surgeons stand at the ready. The announcer has the microphone.
"This next contest is six man tag action. Already in the ring is the team of Bob Backlund, Horst Hoffman and The Destroyer...The Surgeons!"
[video=youtube;OtpPWtc8ars]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtpPWtc8ars[/video]
"And their opponents, making their way down the aisle, Kerry, David and Kevin Von Erich."
The crowd cheers but before the Von Erich's can make it to the ring the monster that used to be Zangiev comes tearing out from the back and demolishes them in the aisle. He then proceeds to head into the ring and eyes Backlund, Hoffman and The Destroyer. He's about to pummel Backlund when he shrinks back down to normal size. Apparently the growth hormones are only temporary. Zangiev looks sad but Backlund, Hoffman and The Destroyer laugh out loud and put him on their shoulders, carrying him up the aisle as they walk past the mangled bodies of the Von Erich boys.
"Coming next week to GMMWF Hump Day...the one, the only, Tito Santana."
"That's right, Tito Santana, the favourite son of Mexico, is coming to GMMWF to knock some heads around. I can't wait to dazzle you with my speed, wow you with my strength and knock your sombrero's off...ARRIBA!!!
We're back in the ring as the announcer holds up the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the next match is a four way Texas Tornado match and features all four members of GMMWF Pool D, Abdullah the Butcher, Necro Butcher, Terry Funk and......
[video=youtube;S59nQIveUZw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S59nQIveUZw&feature=related[/video]
"ANDRE THE GIANT!!!"
The crowd goes wild as Andre heads towards the ring. Before he can get there Abdullah and Necro go running past him, brawling their way towards the ring. Terry Funk comes out and sits down at the commentators table instead of getting involved in the match. Abdullah and Necro demolish each other on the outside while Andre finally gets to the ring. He heads over to Terry and grabs him out of his seat, chopping him hard across the chest and throwing him into the ring. Abdullah and Necro have continued their brawl through the crowd and finally make their way back to the ring, where both are quite bloody. The end of the match sees Andre boot Abdullah and Funk out of the ring, where they beat on each other on the floor. Meanwhile, he lifts Necro up into a delayed suplex and instead drops him on his head on the top turnbuckle. The referee counts the three and Andre stands tall in the ring while Funk and Abdullah continue to brawl to the back.
The Midnight Express are in the back. Lane is on the phone while Eaton speaks to him.
"Man, that is such crap. We really need a manager and STAT. I don't know who the hell saved our ass out there but its obvious he's no friend of ours. Hey, who the hell are you on the phone with?"
Lane speaks on the phone for a moment.
"Really? Well that's fantastic news. I can't wait to see you here next week. Things are definitely going to be going South for the other teams in GMMWF now. Ok, talk to you then, bye."
Eaton looks at Lane and holds up his hands. Lane puts the phone away.
"Bobby, Bobby, don't worry. I've just taken care of all our problems. I called an old friend and he's more than willing to get here for next week's show to give us the edge we need."
"Who?"
"Let's just say he's got the right mouth and the right tool for the job and leave it at that."
A strange smile crosses Eaton's face as he realizes who Lane is talking about and the two high five before heading to the back.
The announcer is back in the ring for the main event.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our main event features the team of William Regal and Ric Flair taking on Ricky Steamboat and Bob Orton."
Regal and Orton start the match off an Orton quickly gains the advantage, putting Regal in a nasty looking abdominal stretch. He tags in Steamboat while Regal tags in Flair. The two trade chops until Flair low blow's Steamboat and tags in Regal, who proceeds to stomp on Steamboat while he's down. Regal then puts Steamboat in a stretch plum while the fans cheer rabidly for Steamboat to make the comeback. Steamboat finally breaks free of Regal's grasp and makes it to the corner to tag Orton, but Orton jumps down and walks away, leaving Steamboat at the mercy of Flair and Regal. The two beat Steamboat down until the ref calls for the bell. Flair puts Steamboat in the figure four while Regal kicks him in the face. Finally Bam Bam Bigelow runs down to the ring with a chair which sends Regal and Flair running for the back. Bam Bam picks up Steamboat and raises his hand but out of nowhere Jon Moxley appears and clubs both of them with a chair. The show ends with Moxley standing over both Bam Bam and Steamboat, grinning maniacally into the camera.