AMA General Promo Discussion Thread

[Petty]

They do call him the boogey man of rap. So...hey that's an idea for Humanity....

 

[Poyser]

What did you think of my promo petty? I noticed you laugh reacted it

it’s the first one I’ve ever written and i wasn’t entirely sure what was expected or how to really structure so I’d welcome any feedback from anybody tbh

 

[Petty]

it was good. I was laughing at the use of french because I dunno any french. (of course I could translate it in google, but it could be wrong..soo) not a negative but I don't speak the language. it's unique though.

 

[CakeWalker]

Big Hoss Fight - No Count-Outs: Buffalo Jones Roleplay Feedback​

- I really like the way in which you are setting up the scene - starting in a very public setting of a bathroom present with fans present, its a place where people are very vulnerable. When their guard is down if you would. This vulnerability present in the scene, then switches over to the Buffalo character as he starts to be sick. Not sure if that was the intention, but there is a really fluid connection between setup of scene and entry of character.

- I understand the purpose of letting the audience know about the previous match - but personally I got lost between the arrival of him to bathroom and then then the transition to the his residence. On this second read of this roleplay, I almost feel that you could have ended the first scene when he say 'God damn it'.

- The opening of the 'REAL PROMO' I am being given convincing vibes that Buffalo is a veteran, a workhorse, a journeyman who has been grinding in this business for quite a long time. A wrester perhaps that is built on the intention of being relatable to the blue-collar work if you would. It continues with really great babyface vibes, and as a reader you know you are meant to like this character. If you didn't know already, you would expect that the man talking to the wrestling is someone that is much more likely to rely on technical skill than flat out blunt aggression.

- Talking about opponents and not selling yourself off as the greatest, opening yourself up to flaws and admitting defeat. It is excellent, because it ties back to the vulnerability that was very much present at the beginning of the whole roleplay. The promo is clear - this man is a babyface and he isn't even hiding any of his emotion for one minute. This is the man that you are supposed to cheer for, when you see him walk towards the ring. Even if you are not sure, whether victory is even on the cards for him.

- And we are left with a really clever cliff hanger. A hook. Who is the woman in the blue dress? You drawn the reader in and now they want to know more.​

 

[Poyser]

it was good. I was laughing at the use of french because I dunno any french. (of course I could translate it in google, but it could be wrong..soo) not a negative but I don't speak the language. it's unique though.

Hahaha I don’t speak French either

the mon amie I kept repeating just means my friend, the phrase at the end is the future champion of the world!

 

[CakeWalker]

Grueling Tryouts - No Disqualifications Match: Blake Justice Roleplay Feedback

- we start with that rough homemade feel, a promo that is being cut in the privacy of the character itself. Traditionally would they have used a camcorder, but now maybe a smart phone. Either way there is no expectation that this promo is going to have vivid special effect added in halfway through. It is gritty and raw, which perhaps will be a reflection of a the Blake Justice character.

- sadist. check. gimmick established. this is a man that not only enjoys fighting, but he enjoys hurting people. He is drawn to violence, which by definition you would expect him to be a heel - but this isn't always the case. One thing is for certain, this isn't someone that you want to be friends with. This is someone the fans immediately recognise as the villain, but as well all know villains have a tendency of becoming very popular.

- the promo gives out strong vibes of a hardcore wrestler - but I'm not talking old school ECW. But more the modern age lunacy that we would have seen in CZW. Someone that is willing to go to the extremes like 'Sick' Nick Mondo in order to get a win. It was a fairly convincing first promo for the character, and the setup leaves a lot of room for the character to be developed in subsequent weeks. There is nothing wholly negative about the roleplay - just rather that there is a lot of way that is can be levelled up that I feel will come with time.​

 

[CakeWalker]

Ranked Exhibition - Singles Match: Christopher McMichaels Roleplay Feedback

- the scene opens with a tad of business, where I am felt confused by who the man carrying the briefcase is or was. As I go into the roleplay, I am assuming it is Gerald but at the start of the promo it does throw me off slightly. The Gerald character I felt needed a few more lines of being setup.

- the conversation is great though. McMichaels the arrogant or and blissfully unaware heel, who is tended to by his staff. Literally living in a fantasy world, that he believes everything he says as fact. There are a lot of comedy elements present, and ready to be used whether this is intentional or not I'm not sure.

- the dismal of Gerald is brutal, McMichaels is literally throwing his toys out the pram on the realisation that his match might not be as easy as he felt. Taking out his frustration on anyone, but his father. The only person that Christopher holds in any high regard I suspect. The reason this roleplay is so effective, is at no time do you feel that McMichaels is engaging with the audience. The idea that the character is obvious to the camera and unaware that the fourth wall exists, can always make for a great segment.​

 

[Petty]

You did what you were supposed to do as an introduction to your character. From here start to plot for yourself with others, smark on angles. Start to develop your character direction. Where you want to see him go. How you want him to go about it. You are french..maybe you can get along with jeff and the Northern Touch @Poyser. Could also put you right into alignment with Sean Cutter jr which is handled by @The Great One . Full immersion right into storylines is possible.

 

[CakeWalker]

Ranked Exhibition - Singles Match: Max Maverick Roleplay Feedback

- direction with a roleplay is always good as is continuity which is present here, as you are setting the scene by following on from the previous match. That is a very good starting point - but it also demands that this is spilt up into two scenes, on the basis that you wouldn't know who your opponent for next week was going to be [this is not true in all cases, so ignore this comment if I'm wrong].

- the interaction with BM is very insightful, Maverick comes off as very obnoxious and borderline offensive in the grand scale of things. This isn't a likeable guy, but nonetheless this guy is a winner. And it is very important that you don't forget that he is a winner. Maverick is going to tell you he is better than you at every opportunity and that is very clear from the get go of the interview scene
.
- Such a great take! Any success that Tora has - is all Maverick's doing. How can you not love to hate this sort of bastard of a character? It even more telling of the heel character, that Maverick isn't buying into Zewbowski's gimmick. Just putting it down as nonsense is a smart move for any aspiring heel.

- I did find quite an insight into the character, and I don't know why buy I get a lot of Noam Dar vibes from the way the character is being presented.​

 

[Marty McFourth]

Grueling Tryouts - No Disqualifications Match: Blake Justice Roleplay Feedback

- we start with that rough homemade feel, a promo that is being cut in the privacy of the character itself. Traditionally would they have used a camcorder, but now maybe a smart phone. Either way there is no expectation that this promo is going to have vivid special effect added in halfway through. It is gritty and raw, which perhaps will be a reflection of a the Blake Justice character.

- sadist. check. gimmick established. this is a man that not only enjoys fighting, but he enjoys hurting people. He is drawn to violence, which by definition you would expect him to be a heel - but this isn't always the case. One thing is for certain, this isn't someone that you want to be friends with. This is someone the fans immediately recognise as the villain, but as well all know villains have a tendency of becoming very popular.

- the promo gives out strong vibes of a hardcore wrestler - but I'm not talking old school ECW. But more the modern age lunacy that we would have seen in CZW. Someone that is willing to go to the extremes like 'Sick' Nick Mondo in order to get a win. It was a fairly convincing first promo for the character, and the setup leaves a lot of room for the character to be developed in subsequent weeks. There is nothing wholly negative about the roleplay - just rather that there is a lot of way that is can be levelled up that I feel will come with time.​

Wow, thanks for this Juice! When I understand roleplaying a bit more I'll be sure to return the favour and feedback some of your work.

Thank you for taking the time to do this.

 

[CakeWalker]

Stretcher Match: Steve Sanders Roleplay Feedback

- I am a fan of quotes if they serve a purpose. I will return to this quote later on.

- I enjoy when someone sets up a scene, however sometimes it can be overdone. Certain details threw me off, like reading about how April showers are going to effect the landscape. Just me nit picking, but sometimes less is more. If the scene brings nothing to the story, then it is just an extra detail. I feel things are put back on track, when you starting describing the state of Sanders pulls me back in again - when I might have almost been lost if I was just a casual reader.

- the scene really start with the picking up the phone and it feels as you are creating a scene where we are living in Sanders reality. And he is ignoring the camera - which is often a creative style that many people use.

- I got lost in the transition - is Sanders talking to a camera crew in his house now? And what did Karen have to do with it? Confused.

- The actual promo content is very good and the message and links to the past really involved heavy character development, and this ties into the original quote. I must admit that the direction of the scene threw me off and I was confused why he was no longer in his office and instead walking to his car. Like the wrestlers focus wasn't the audience or the opponent. It was a good roleplay nonetheless. ​

 

[CakeWalker]

Ranked Exhibition - Singles Match: Tora Fushimi Roleplay Feedback

- the scene is set nicely, no need to a massive paragraph. It is straight to the point and direct, with the audience being a painted a picture of exactly what you want them to see.

- amazing! an advert for the next show show - but also a shameless roleplay in an advertisement campaign for an electronics store. Its is original, but also puts us into the word of a professional wrestler. The bonus commitments they may be required to partake or choose to do freely as part of their commitment to their employers.

- The interaction between the director, the shop owner and Tora is very personable. He instantly becomes not just someone who is put on a pedestal, but someone you can imagine speaking face-to-face with on the street.

- I love that Tora values media time and buy rates as his main focus. He wants to be seen as much as possible, and we are almost left thinking he isn't quite a face but also to likeable to be a heel. Like a true neutral tweener.

- the only negative is that there is very little focus about the opponent - which causes some of the focus almost to be lost, as if McMichaels is nothing but an afterthought.​

 

[CakeWalker]

Wow, thanks for this Juice! When I understand roleplaying a bit more I'll be sure to return the favour and feedback some of your work.

Thank you for taking the time to do this.

It is no problem at all.

 

[Petty]

Stretcher Match: Steve Sanders Roleplay Feedback

- I am a fan of quotes if they serve a purpose. I will return to this quote later on.

- I enjoy when someone sets up a scene, however sometimes it can be overdone. Certain details threw me off, like reading about how April showers are going to effect the landscape. Just me nit picking, but sometimes less is more. If the scene brings nothing to the story, then it is just an extra detail. I feel things are put back on track, when you starting describing the state of Sanders pulls me back in again - when I might have almost been lost if I was just a casual reader.

- the scene really start with the picking up the phone and it feels as you are creating a scene where we are living in Sanders reality. And he is ignoring the camera - which is often a creative style that many people use.

- I got lost in the transition - is Sanders talking to a camera crew in his house now? And what did Karen have to do with it? Confused.

- The actual promo content is very good and the message and links to the past really involved heavy character development, and this ties into the original quote. I must admit that the direction of the scene threw me off and I was confused why he was no longer in his office and instead walking to his car. Like the wrestlers focus wasn't the audience or the opponent. It was a good roleplay nonetheless. ​

Thank you. The showers thing was a tie-in to Sander's eventual violate mindstate. It's not profound yet but look at it like this. Rain means a lot of things to different people. Refreshing, disgusting. gloomy. Dark. Washing things away. Redemption. Rain in this sense was meant to be symbolic and while I didn't illustrate that I am using it as little hints. Which the rain leads somewhere...when it fills up a damn, it burst. And, no Sanders could be talking to a camera crew, I try to not allude to one or the other to keep the fourth wall invisible. The walking from his office and to his car was so the next promo makes sense, as he is leaving one location and in the next promo will be in a new location. Continuity. As far as Karen, she is just a background character. Think of her as his agent (though that isn't mentioned, the phone was setting up the next roleplay and its' camera crew being at sportsman's which is the next promo, I wasn't sure if such details need to actually stated as I feel like it would take away from the promo and leave the reader thinking there may be more in said promo, plus a mystery always serves a purpose)


Thanks for the feedback. I hope this answered some of your confusion and would allow others to chime in if they like.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

I think my recent promo was my best tbh. Not as lengthy as the last but I think it had a good mix of Wrestling promo and storytelling.