AMA General Promo Discussion Thread

[Smart Marx]

If anyone has any feedback for Norman’s latest promo and Reina’s debut, I’m all for it

Speaking of any chance in the future you can maybe put Spanish to English translation in a spoiler tag?

 

[Lethal]

Speaking of any chance in the future you can maybe put Spanish to English translation in a spoiler tag?

For sure. That’s what I did this time. They’re sequential in the spoiler tag. Not sure how I can format it….maybe subtitles? Eventually she’s going to get a mouthpiece to help coach English.

 

[Rosie]

If anyone has any feedback for Norman’s latest promo and Reina’s debut, I’m all for it

I've been on a roll for this stuff, so I'll look that over tonight. Just mind linking me them both to make it easier?

 

[Rosie]

OH, and yeah, I remember that promo had a lot of Spanish. Since one of my characters speaks Japanese when she is talking to her friends in Japan, I get it. What I do is I just state they are speaking another language, but "translate it" (mostly) by just writing it in English and finding a way to differentiate the text. The first promo I did it in I used italics, but I think next time I'll do "(this)"

 

[Smart Marx]

OH, and yeah, I remember that promo had a lot of Spanish. Since one of my characters speaks Japanese when she is talking to her friends in Japan, I get it. What I do is I just state they are speaking another language, but "translate it" (mostly) by just writing it in English and finding a way to differentiate the text. The first promo I did it in I used italics, but I think next time I'll do "(this)"

This is definitely helpful. Thank you.

 

[Rosie]

A maniacal laugh is heard, competing against the crackling of a vicious, blazing fire. Norman's figure enters the frame, sitting crossed legged near the fire. He looks into its depths. "Daniel Christian, this look familiar?" Norman throws his head back and starts laughing again. "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel - you're making the same stupid mistakes that everybody in this company seems to make." Norman cracks his knuckles, then fixes his gaze into the fire. "You poked at the fire, and you angered the beast. These people cannot keep it simple - play nice, and I fight fair. Play nice, and you're able to walk out of my ring." The crackling of the fire grows larger, and more wood is dropped on it. "Yet....at Manifest Destiny, you failed to play nice. You couldn't leave it in the cage. You had the.....you had the f*#%ing nerve to brand me as a coward? A COWARD!" Norman kicks at a log in the fire, sending it rolling off into the distance. "If there is one word I refuse to tolerate, it is the word coward. Daniel, I beg of you to not confuse generosity for hesisitation. Last week, I could have ended you. I would have made it quick. I would have played nice." Norman steps up, and starts slapping across his chest vigorously. "I WOULD HAVE PLAYED NICE, Daniel, but you called me a coward, and that cost you an eye."

(Video plays back of the fireball attack)

"And tonight, you FURTHER stoke the flame. You FURTHER engrage the beast. You just will not learn. So, your lesson tonight will be beaten into you. Last week, I took your eye. Tonight, tonight I take something much greater. Tonight, I come for your spirit. I come for your essence. Daniel Christian, I am coming for your soul." Norman grabs the camera and has it focused on his head. "DANIEL, I have your eye, I have your attention, and now I WANT your soul. If you'd played nice, it would have been simple. You insulted me. You dishonoured me. Tonight, I break your back. Tonight, I shatter your spirit. Tonight....I gain your soul."

Norman buries his hand into the depths of the fire, and pulls it out. He flashes it to the screen.

"You should have played nice!"​

First, let's go with the character I'm more familiar with.

For starters, I like the use of the motif of fire. It plays on the story you established at the show with the fireball and even with Norman being Aboriginal and playing into motifs of his heritage, something about the fire seems thematic, at least with my exposure to Aboriginal cultures in my own country of Canada. (Even did a smudging ceremony before, which was actually genuinely calming and a great taste of another culture). The dialogue is overall pretty good as well. Like... well spoken yet I am scared. I actually like an intelligent monster character. The rage and the ability to systematically take apart an opponent. There was a couple mistakes for spelling like "hesitation" and "enrage" so while nothing major keep an eye on that.

But then I'll state two things to work on, first formatting. This part:

"Tonight, tonight I take something much greater. Tonight, I come for your spirit. I come for your essence. Daniel Christian, I am coming for your soul." Norman grabs the camera and has it focused on his head. "DANIEL, I have your eye, I have your attention, and now I WANT your soul. If you'd played nice,"

Was all yellow and I think you just forgot to make the action of him grabbing the camera back to the default colour. I actually have that mistake too at times, rushing to get a promo I'm excited about and I colour a section wrong. Second, I feel as though it'd look a bit better if you made the end punctuation the same colour as the text. Like the end period and the quotation marks. I feel it makes it blend together a touch better.

The next is more if you are ever wondering about how to add length to a promo without needing to go overboard, first think of the scene setting and things you can do to take it to that next level. Even with images, you can do a bit extra S P I C E. Like say the fire at the start, you can mention stuff like how it glows in the darkness of the night sky. The glow on Norman, what Norman is wearing as the light reveals. What you had there did make me think of an image of a cackling campfire so it is a start.

The next is if you are ever wondering about extra stuff to say, think about stuff related to your opponent, like their quirks and history, or even recognizing things going on about your character and play it into the promo even a bit. Although you don't need history of a character on every single tree branch and frankly I have had the issue of the extreme before. but some peppering of it here and there can tie your promo together and even honour your ongoing story and furthering it. Like Norman could mention he has lost back to back matches, feeling "embarrassed" and that has made him an even more dangerous man. How Daniel's Vlogging life will also come to and end because nobody will want to look at his crushed face. Even the fact your match became a Catch as Catch-can rules match... (WHICH IS MAINLY BECAUSE IT WAS GOING TO BE IMPOSED ON CALI V BRIDGES AND I NOPED OUT OF THAT STIP!) it also gives you things to reference, "Now you won't have any room to escape. If that happens YOU will be the coward."

So really, a couple good things to build-upon with a creative concept, scary dialogue, but can always find things to take to, as Cali would say, that "Next-Level."

 

[Rosie]

Now for the Lucha girl doing good Lucha things:

A tranquil breeze blows through a sunburnt desert landscape. A screech of an eagle is heard from overhead.

A figure blocks the harsh sun, casting a shadow across the cracked, scorched earth. "Todo viaje empieza por el principio. Los primeros pasos del hombre embarcan los cimientos de la historia." The figure gains speed, and the ground begins to turn a shade of green. "Desde las profundidades de los comienzos sombríos, surge un nuevo crecimiento. Se forjan nuevos horizontes." A small stream of water emerges.

Tiny droplets appear over the screen. "Sustancia. Aplacar. Reabasteciendo el mundo una gota a la vez, lo que lleva a la necesidad de vencer a todos los que se interponen ante ti." The ground gets greener, the grass taller. The harsh sun has subsided and the figure becomes more visible.

The figure then stops, and stares to the sky. Green tights become visible, but the rest of the figure is obscured by grass. Suddenly, the sky grows dark, with the moon shining an eerie glow. "Chase Speed, esta noche, tienes el gran honor de ser mi primera víctima. Mi primer sabor a sangre. Mi primer contacto con huesos rotos, ligamentos desgarrados, cartílago desmembrado." The attire becomes more visible as the moonlight glow becomes brighter and brighter. "Puede que estemos debutando juntos, pero después de que suene la campana, tu carcus estará boca abajo en el medio del ring, y mi mano se levantará en señal de victoria. El nuevo comienzo ha llegado, y la búsqueda de sangre no ha hecho más que empezar. La Reina del Lobo ha llegado y no se detendrá ante nada para conseguir lo que le pertenece por derecho." A piercing silhouette then emerges, breaking the harsh dark.

Spoiler: Translation

Translation:
- Every journey starts at the beginning. The first steps of man embark the foundations of history.
- From the depths of bleak beginnings, new growth takes over. New horizons are forged.
- Sustanence. Quench. Replenishing the world one drop at a time, leading to a need to vanquish all who stand before you.
- Tonight, you have the distinct honour in being my first victim. My first taste of blood. My first taste of breaking bones, tearing ligaments, dismembering cartilage
- We may be debuting together, but after the bell rings, your carcus will be lying prone in the middle of the ring, and my hand will be raised in victory. The new beginning has arrived, and the quest for blood has only just begun. The Queen of the Wolf has arrived, and she will stop at nothing to get what is rightfully hers.

I think aside from the general things from the previous promo which can apply here like things to keep in mind for ways to add if you are at a loss, formatting, etc. Just more thoughts on the character may be best to apply.


First, for the future, to make her Spanish promos easier, see this:

OH, and yeah, I remember that promo had a lot of Spanish. Since one of my characters speaks Japanese when she is talking to her friends in Japan, I get it. What I do is I just state they are speaking another language, but "translate it" (mostly) by just writing it in English and finding a way to differentiate the text. The first promo I did it in I used italics, but I think next time I'll do "(this)"

Also there are options down the line of a manager, but even then, it can help us not needing to look at a separate translation area to read the main content of a promo.

But with the imagery and vibes and how she speaks, I get a bit of mystery about her and a nobility, although one which still may accept violence with the calling Chase her victim. I think that can be good to build upon where she can maybe be overall a face, but still have some shades of gray. I think for a first match promo with a character and having the challenge of facing a character who is also debuting and has nothing to go off of aside from one sign up (and technically his promo, though I guess I avoid directly referencing someone's promo if I go after, at least here due to how cheap it may be). So I hope once you get involved in stories and have more time with her and more to go off of for match promos that you can build her.

 

[Rosie]

AMA - The Same Page

The Same Page ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We are joining Cali Hayama in her apartment kitchen. There are a few dishes left in the sink, but for the most part it is cleaned up well. The open window over the sink shows some pine trees on a sunny morning. The...

wrestlingsmarks.com

Wouldn't mind some feedback on how this develops the stories around Cali.

 

[WelshyBOI]

AMA - The Same Page

The Same Page ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We are joining Cali Hayama in her apartment kitchen. There are a few dishes left in the sink, but for the most part it is cleaned up well. The open window over the sink shows some pine trees on a sunny morning. The...

wrestlingsmarks.com

Wouldn't mind some feedback on how this develops the stories around Cali.

Granted, this won’t be as in depth as your wonderful promo assessments, since I’m not brainy enough to see all the details and intertwining stories and shit, but from what I’ve read of everything, I get the sense that, combined with your match promo, this promo gives Cali a certain edge that she does actually consider aligning herself with less than reputable people since she feels the need to be involved in a group. The conversation with Suzuki and comments made by Marquise about Japan and the style leads me to suggest that Cali herself may have done some stuff that a face normally wouldn’t do. For me, it’s as though there are seeds being planted of a future heel turn or if not a full blown heel turn, then at least for a more ruthless Cali to be unleashed on AMA in the future.

As far as her friendly rivalry with Marquise, I like it. It isn’t seen all too often in E-Feds since people are more drawn to full blown blood feuds that usually end with everyone being maimed in death matches and shit, so Cali and Marquise promising a clean and fair fight in a normal rules, straight up wrestling match is actually a nice breath of fresh air.

Lastly, I’m enjoying the Trixie mentions in your promos, so keep ‘em coming!

That’s al my pee-brain can comprehend, so if I missed some story points, then I do apologise. Still, it was a fantastic promo that had me genuinely smiling throughout, and also Marquise and Cali has tag team potential, just saying

 

[Rosie]

Granted, this won’t be as in depth as your wonderful promo assessments, since I’m not brainy enough to see all the details and intertwining stories and shit, but from what I’ve read of everything, I get the sense that, combined with your match promo, this promo gives Cali a certain edge that she does actually consider aligning herself with less than reputable people since she feels the need to be involved in a group. The conversation with Suzuki and comments made by Marquise about Japan and the style leads me to suggest that Cali herself may have done some stuff that a face normally wouldn’t do. For me, it’s as though there are seeds being planted of a future heel turn or if not a full blown heel turn, then at least for a more ruthless Cali to be unleashed on AMA in the future.

As far as her friendly rivalry with Marquise, I like it. It isn’t seen all too often in E-Feds since people are more drawn to full blown blood feuds that usually end with everyone being maimed in death matches and shit, so Cali and Marquise promising a clean and fair fight in a normal rules, straight up wrestling match is actually a nice breath of fresh air.

Lastly, I’m enjoying the Trixie mentions in your promos, so keep ‘em coming!

That’s al my pee-brain can comprehend, so if I missed some story points, then I do apologise. Still, it was a fantastic promo that had me genuinely smiling throughout, and also Marquise and Cali has tag team potential, just saying

MAYHEM in Japan have kind of a hint of LIJ in New Japan who are a group of anti-heroes. Though now Los Ingonables De Japon are all pretty much Face 100%, they do have some history as heels. MAYHEM is like that but a bit darker, willing to get nasty, but have their limits. Like if an opponent brings a weapon in a match or tries to cheat, they have no problem returning the favour then or later on. So they are on balance more FACE, but have Tweener tendencies and against the pure babyfaces, they come off as more heel. That influence is kind of why you saw Cali get extra savage and intense since she was in LDW. So I am for sure trying to get that developed and also just have Cali have this genuine question of "Where do I set the line here?" Thanks!

 

[Dolph Zinger]

Is it too late for me to cut a promo against binface and his two mates?

 

[Rosie]

Is it too late for me to cut a promo against binface and his two mates?

Too late. Very late.

 

[Dolph Zinger]

Too late. Very late.

Thankyou, just wanted to confirm. Now I will focus 100% on the burger on a pole match promo.

@Lethal Banks are you ready?

 

[Rosie]

Thankyou, just wanted to confirm. Now I will focus 100% on the burger on a pole match promo.

@Lethal Banks are you ready?

It hasn't been booked. Nobody has agreed to it. It hasn't even been built at all.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]