Fuji's Top Twenty Most Hated Films

[Fuji Vice]

Alright, I finally managed to narrow this list down to only 20 films, which is remarkable considering it began at almost 100. Instead of simply going with the easy choices (like Halloween: Resurrection or Alien vs. Predator) I chose to look at films that have been successful either critically or financially. Of course this is simply my opinion, so if you like any of the movies on this list, please feel free to defend them. Who knows, maybe you'll convince me to give them a second chance?

I'll update this daily until we reach the number one film, but today we'll start with...

20. Chariots of Fire

This utter snooze-fest comes our way courtesy of the cheery old English...and boy when they fuck up a movie they really fuck it up. Not only does the story have literally no resonance with the viewer, it drags itself out for over 2 hours when about 1 would have sufficed. Perhaps the only positive contribution that this film has made to the world is the Vangelis theme song. That tune, which has since gone on to appear in virtually every slow-motion running scene committed to film, can be heard here, and please take special note of the outfits worn by the runners.

[video=youtube;L-7Vu7cqB20]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-7Vu7cqB20[/video]​

I mentioned the runners outfits because that leads me into my next gripe about this turd, that being the fact that it won the Academy Award for Best Costume Design. Are you fucking kidding me? They're wearing white shorts and t-shirts! I'm not sure what the Academy were thinking when they gave out that award but miraculously they topped themselves by also awarding this film Best Picture! This won't be the last Best Picture on the list either, but I figured it was a suitable starting point since I'm going to be using this thread as a way of explaining why the entire Academy Awards are a total farce.

Anyhow, in a year that brought us films like "Raiders of the Lost Ark", "On Golden Pond", "Atlantic City", "Absence of Malice" and "Reds", it stands as nothing more than a travesty that this idiotic and formulaic piece of religious propaganda managed to be the one to stand on top at the end of it.

Tomorrow we return with an action film that I'm sure some people around here love.

 

[Postman Dave]

Cracking start there Fuji, one of British cinemas most celebrated films, I expected nothing less :

 

[Fuji Vice]

Cracking start there Fuji, one of British cinemas most celebrated films, I expected nothing less :

I really didn't want to disappoint, its just not my style. I've actually sat through Chariots of Fire three separate times, in a vain attempt to get something out of it. Yeah, that hasn't happened.

 

[Mitch Buchannon]

I definitely agree. I've tried to sit through it trying to find a clinching story but to no avail.

 

[Fuji Vice]

I definitely agree. I've tried to sit through it trying to find a clinching story but to no avail.

The "story" is yet another major issue with it, so of course it won Best Original Screenplay.

Given the subject matter, I'm firmly behind the belief that the Academy was too scared to give Reds the awards for Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay and so gave them to the "safe" choice instead. Giving Warren Beatty the Best Director award for Reds was their way of "making up" for this.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

the only good thing is the song....i love that song...the movie is about as thrilling as watching your poop disintegrate in the toilet water

 

[Fuji Vice]

the only good thing is the song....i love that song...the movie is about as thrilling as watching your poop disintegrate in the toilet water

The song is awesome, and a real defining tune of the 80's. Plus I've seen it used so well in other movies that I really believe it will live forever.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

as long as there is slow motion running scenes in comedies it will live on

 

[Castiel]

You hating on movies might be more entertaining then when you give good reviews! Lol, winning best costume design just makes this so much more hilarious!

 

[Fuji Vice]

You hating on movies might be more entertaining then when you give good reviews! Lol, winning best costume design just makes this so much more hilarious!

Hopefully I keep you entertained in here over the next couple of weeks. The Best Costume Design thing is something I'll never understand...kind of like the popularity of the next film on our list. Speaking of that, here we go.....

Throughout history, the medium of film has been used to create many specific genres. Among those is the car chase action film, popularized by 70's classics Bullit and The French Connection. This genre became so popular that it turned into a staple of Hollywood. It seems that every year, there's at least one film out there that revolves around action and cars. The problem is, many of them are downright awful. It's like for every decent car chase film there's at least 20 bastard children as well. While some, like Torque and Biker Boyz, will escape my wrath, there is no way I can let the Alpha Male of these bastards go unpunished....

Spoiler

19. The Fast and the Furious

I understand why people love, love, LOVE this movie...but I fucking hate it. First of all, the acting is beyond awful, with wooden performances all around. It's sorta cool, because there's hot chicks and all, but even then I'm continually slapped in the face by how bad everyone is. Check out this scene, which I like to call Acting 101. Unfortunately it appears Mr. Walker and Mr. Diesel missed that particular class, because if what they're doing here is acting, I think they need to re-write the definition.

[video=youtube;X1IE-ERnEBw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1IE-ERnEBw[/video]​

Another thing that bothers me is the incredibly short attention span on display from the writing department. It's almost like this is the film you'd get if you gave a roomfull of 8 year olds $38 million (what it cost to make this) and let them go wild. What's even worse about this mess is that it actually made over $200 million at the box office and spawned a host of sequels and imitators...all of which are WORSE than this one! However, its the original, so its taking the lion's share of the blame. I understand the need for mindless entertainment, and I even enjoy it from time to time. The Fast and the Furious has one part down, its mindless alright...but its far from entertaining.

Next up, one of the most overrated romantic tales of our time.

 

[Postman Dave]

Fuji, Fuji, Fuji, why must you hurt me so.

F&F is one of those rare action films, that a) felt fresh at the time, b) actually had a decent story and interesting characters to go with it, and c) excellent stunts.

 

[Fuji Vice]

Fuji, Fuji, Fuji, why must you hurt me so.

F&F is one of those rare action films, that a) felt fresh at the time, b) actually had a decent story and interesting characters to go with it, and c) excellent stunts.

I don't know, I didn't see any interesting characters in there, but that's probably just me. I guess the other problem I have is that I'd pretty much seen everything in it in other, better films.

 

[Kushikimi]

For me the Fast & Furious series isn't GREAT but isn't AWFUL either. It's just entertaining, is not that kind of film I can watch over and over and over again... but if I prefer it to what they usually put on TV locally in Puerto Rico..... 7 days of the week... 4 of them have either a Steven Segal Movie or a Jean Claude Van Damme one. The other 3 have either your choice of Wesley Snipes, Cartoon Movie or any other thing you might think of.... yes... TV here sucks.

 

[Fuji Vice]

For me the Fast & Furious series isn't GREAT but isn't AWFUL either. It's just entertaining, is not that kind of film I can watch over and over and over again... but if I prefer it to what they usually put on TV locally in Puerto Rico..... 7 days of the week... 4 of them have either a Steven Segal Movie or a Jean Claude Van Damme one. The other 3 have either your choice of Wesley Snipes, Cartoon Movie or any other thing you might think of.... yes... TV here sucks.

Wow, that is pretty awful dude. Given the choices, I can understand why you'd want The Fast and the Furious on as much as possible. :

 

[Mitch Buchannon]

I like the movie but I definitely agree about the characters, nothing interesting about them at all. The writing is indeed shit but I still prefer this one over the sequels except maybe Fast Five which was IMO better than all of the others.