Stand-up comedy sucks. Anyone can read jokes written by people they are paying.
Clearly you've not seen any good stand-up. They have thousands of people staring at them while they stand on a (mostly) empty stage and try to say something funny and you think that's easy? It's all about presentation even if the jokes aren't their own. You could have the best jokes in the world at your fingertips but they'll mean nothing if you can't present them.
Anyway, classically I'd going for George Carlin or Richard Pryor; a lot of comedy these days is way too saturated with fear of getting branded non-politically-correct. Not all comics though, exceptions are Frankie Boyle and Louis CK.