ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam
ECW Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Sabu
“FTW” Champion: Sabu
ECW Guilty as Charged
January 10th, 1999
Kissimmee, Florida
Backstage: Paul Heyman thanks us for purchasing tonight's PPV, he says to show his gratitude, he’s not gonna be like those other guys and jerk you around and bullshit you. He says the card has changed, Tanaka will not be coming from Japan to face RVD and Jerry Lynn's fractured pelvis has not healed fully, so they don't want to show a less than 100% performance when they can exploit Jerry Lynn's talents fully on March 21st at Living Dangerously. Heyman says he believes in this locker room and believes in ECW.
The F.B.I. (Little Guido and Tracy Smothers w/Tommy Rich, Big Guido, and Big Sal E. Graziano) vs. Danny Doring & Roadkill
They do a fair bit of stalling before locking up, Guido and Danny start. Both teams are heels so the crowd gives no fucks and both teams try to out stall the other…..then for some random reason, Balls and Axl come out with chairs. Axl grabs a mic and says he was watching in the back and this match looked like a homosexual dance party
so if it’s alright with the ref, he wants to make this a 3-way dance (WAIT FOR ONE DAMN SECOND, does that make Balls and Axl gay? They saw a sexual dance and wanted to join in? also since when does the ref have the juice just to accept wrestlers into matches?) Fuck it. The match turns into a huge brawl, they do the 2 in the ring, rest on the floor. It looks super choreographed. They do some things, everyone gets a chance to do stuff in the ring, at one point Danny and Roadkill hit the hart attack, but during the cover, Tommy Rich hits Danny in the back with a flag allowing the FBI to hit a double Fisherman's Suplex to eliminate them. FBI isolate Balls for a bit until Axl gets a hot tag, Axl cleans house they hit the Nutcracker Suite and SST in stereo and cover for the win. After the match; Sal and Big Guido challenge Axl and Balls but end up getting murdered with chair shots to the head. *3/4
Backstage: Terry Funk is sitting in the locker room, he says his father had a jackass, and he cared for that jackass, but one day when his daddy wasn't looking, that jackass kicked him right in the nuts. So his daddy told him to go and get a knife, so he ran to the house to get a kitchen knife. My daddy slit that jackass' throat. He looked at it, and his daddy told him, "Payback is hell, son." Tommy Dreamer, you are just like that jackass because what you did is you kicked me in the nuts when he chose Jake Roberts over him, a piece of garbage instead of the man who loved him like a son. It's payback time now, and it's time to find out how much blood he has. Terry funk says he’s gonna juice him big time Jake Roberts is a son of a bitch, and he wants Tommy to know that he's a son of a bitch, and payback time starts now until the day the Tommy Dreamer dies. He then yells at the camera man to get the fuck out of here.
Super Crazy vs. Tajiri
So this is a ton of fun for a first time meeting, both guys are faces so they break cleanly on rope breaks and down take cheap shots in the beginning. Tajiri again throws amazing kicks and dropkicks, Tajiri hits a gorgeous asai moonsault to the floor. Crazy takes a little breather on the floor before hit a sweet summersault plancha to Tajiri on the floor. Crazy rolls him back in and does a very cool looking rolling surfboard before locking in the dragon sleeper from that position. I love that Tajiri keeps going back to dropkicks to the knee, even if Crazy is spotty in selling the knee. The pace quickened with a shit ton of reversals and roll throughs and spots and moves. The middle is a little rough as they’re still getting to know one another moves, clearly holding back on some stuff. Crazy gets a series of two counts off different tornado DDT’s. Tajiri comes back with a sunset flip powerbomb off the top for two, they then trade two counts off tiger bombs but Tajiri is one step ahead and hits a dragon suplex with a bridge for the win. Fun, they would later have far better matches so I’m looking forward to that. **3/4
GOD DAMMIT! Kronus comes out, but Jeff Jones comes out in a judge outfit. He says in a land in which our president is on trial by the senate before they even reach their verdict, I’ve already decided Bill Clinton is GUILTY AS CHARGED!!! And in a land, where we let OJ run free, judge Jeff Jones say’s he’s GUILTY AS CHARGED!!! And tonight, Kronus you are in my courtroom to face charges against you, last week you laid me out with a 450 splash. Well, Kronus for that crime…..I FIND YOU GUILTY AS CHARGED!!! So tonight, you will face my executioner and you could say he’s a little PSYCHO and he’s gonna deal out my brand of JUSTICE in a VICIOUS manner. Kronus says no one is crazy enough to face him……………..HE IS THE MAN!!!!! IT’S MOTHERFUCKING SID
Kronus vs. Sid (w/Judge Jeff Jones)
Kronus tries to attack Sid, but it has no effects so Sid chokeslams him from the ring through a table set up on the floor. Sid hits him a few times with a chair, before rolling him back in and hitting a powerbomb for the win. SID
Video recap of the Taz/Sabu/Douglas angle
Joel Gertner, Sign Guy Dudley, Big Dick Dudley and the Dudley Boyz come down to the ring. Buh Buh yells that will take on anyone tonight, and D-Von says it’s time. Joel grabs a mic and says well, well, well despite what the Florida tourism board has been feeding you, people, it is I every female’s top tourist destination and the man's crotch is truly the happiest place on earth. The man who makes mannie mouses' panties wet and the man who just last night helped daisy duck fulfill her dream as she took one for the team, as he made her squeal and scream, as he filled her full of cream. It is I the bacon in her eggs, the man for whom she begs, and the face between her legs...The Quintessential Studmuffin AND THE ORGINAL STUD MUFFIN and the good lord have mercy goddamn handsome man…. Joel "I Shoot Out a Full Condom Filla, and it Tastes Just Like Vanilla" Gertner
He introduces everyone else. Buh Buh grabs the mic and says if they had the time they would come out and kick everyone ass in the crowd, he says they ain’t got no match tonight, so they issue an open challenge to anyone in the back or the crowd to get their asses out here…………………….NEW JACK & SPIKE DUDLEY ACCEPT.
The Dudley Boyz (w/Joel Gertner, Big Dick Dudley, and Sign Guy Dudley) vs. New Jack & Spike Dudley
This is the usual, tons of weapon shots and brawling for the entirety of New Jack’s theme, which I'm watching on the network so it isn’t "Natural Born Killaz"
Buh Buh steals Bam Bam’s spot and hits a running press slam throwing Spike into the crowd. This goes 10 minutes which is far too long, at one point Spike and Jack pick up some guitars but the Dudleyz avoid it but Big Dick Dudley doesn’t and he eats both. The Dudleyz comeback and hit them with chair shots, which leads to Buh buh hitting a powerbomb off the top killing spike. New Jack getting the 3D on the stage. Spike gets hit with the 3D in the ring and Buh Buh covers for the win. After the match; the Dudleyz continue to put the boots to Spike and Jack, D-Von says there are three rules. THOU SHALL NOT STEAL, THOU SHALL NOT KILL, AND NUMBER THREE, THOU SHALL NOT FUCK WITH THE DUDLEYZ! Buh Buh says He says New Jack is dead and Spike is dead. He says they've beaten every tag team in ECW history. They split up The Gangstas and The Eliminators, they sent The Sandman packing, they broke Beulah's neck. He says Sabu and Van Dam's days are numbered, YOU SCARRED UP FRAK AND YOU PRETTY BOY MOTHERFUCKER! He says there’s nothing left for us to do except one thing. There’s only one tag team left for us to beat. To prove we are the greatest tag team in ECW history………..He calls out The Public Enemy for January 16th at the ECW Arena. The place they used to call home and that they now call Dudleyville, and they will prove who the greatest of all time is.
Lance and Tammy Bytch come out, Lance says Spike already took the beating I was gonna give him tonight, and Jerry Lynn is crying in the back about the beating I’ve already given him, so that frees him up to bigger and better things. Lance then calls out RVD, like we already didn’t know this was the match already booked.
ECW Television Championship: Lance Storm (w/Tammy Lynn Bytch) vs. Rob Van Dam (w/Bill Alfonso)
Thank god, we didn’t get RVD trying to mat wrestle to start and they went right to hitting moves and strikes, also less RVD posing after moves is good. Fonzie tries to attack Bytch on the floor but Lance dives and grabs him which allows RVD to hit the legdrop over the top. RVD begins to take the fight to Lance but in typical RVD fashion, he begins to get too cocky which allows Lance to hit this sweet superkick and now it’s his time to take over. RVD’s bumping in this is phenomenal he takes a nasty bump off a springboard which Lance counters into a dropkick sending RVD into the rails and then his does this awesome bump off a baseball slide to the floor. They trade moves in the crowd until once again RVD looks like he dies on a DDT on the exposed floor. I love the story as RVD keeps going for springboards but Lance has is scouted so well and has countered for all of it. Lance then debuts the top rope springboard plancha dive into the crowd, later used by Bryan Danielson. Another thing I liked about this is Lance is the first to really take the fight to RVD and try to use RVD’s own game against him. Back in the ring, RVD counters a belly-to-back suplex off the top by landing on his feet and hitting a spinning leg drop as soon as Lance hits the mat, never seen that before. The match turns into a solid back and forth affair, tons of spots with little to no selling at all. RVD goes for the Van Damnintor but Lance ducks and the ref gets bumped, RVD goes for it again but this time Lance throws it back at RVD and follows up with a side kick. The ref is still out cold as Bytch tries to revive him. Fonzie tries to hit Lance with a chair but Lance blocks it by taking the chair away from him, Lance turns around and RVD comes off the top with a side kick for a two count. Slap exchange which leads to RVD hitting a bridging German for the win. Terrible finish to what was a really good match. ***
A Tommy/Credible video airs
Stairway to Hell Match: Justin Credible (w/Jason, Nicole Bass, & Jazmine) vs. Tommy Dreamer
You know what’s stupid about this match, is you have to climb a ladder to get the cane, why can’t someone just bring a cane with them to the ring, or hide one under the ring? FUCKIN’ JUSTIN CREDIBLE! I hope to god this is the end of this feud. Starts off well not a ton of hate like I think it should have, I think they would have just come out swinging, biting and clawing instead of crisp counters and brawling. But that’s me nitpicking, this is totally carried by Dreamer and the match is designed to justify Credible awful, atrocious and ridiculous overpush by showing the fans, look, see he’s hardcore. Now hate him, so we can make him out top guy already. As much as I hate Justin, I will give him credit he does a good job bumping here he really gives sells the pain and bumps like he wishes he was Shane Michaels. At one point Dreamer tops him on a ladder but as he goes for an elbow drop off the middle rope, Justin moves and Dreamer lands elbow first onto the ladder. Justin targets the arm with a series of chair shows and Dreamer sells it, so Justin refuses to work the arm again for the remainder of the match. This also has a ton of interference by the awful entourage. After what seems to be 15 minutes they finally start making attempts to climb the ladder to get a cane. There's a big ECW moment where Tommy gets Credible with an Ace Crusher off the gap between two ladders, so that’s cool. He had Credible tied up in the ropes after getting the cane to get revenge, but Terry Funk comes and hits Tommy with a garbage can. Credible then canes him and hits a shitty flatback Tombstone on a ladder to win. So the Cane wasn’t even used once
lmao
After the match; Funk repeatedly hits Dreamer with a trash can before leaving with Justin.
Backstage: Steven Prazak AKA Dave Prazak’s dad interviews Taz, Taz says tonight's the night, okay what. TAZ says tonight is just another night and just another match. He shoves him out of the camera range and says tonight is just another night and Douglas is just another victim. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.
Backstage: Shane Douglas says Sid is another impact player coming to take what he's made in ECW, but it's an easier task down South or up North, he says tonight, the immovable object meets the indestructible force and we collide. nobody's taking his title, the belt that he made. He's not giving it up, he's still in his prime, and tells him to go someplace else too. Taz is his tonight, bitch. He keeps yelling "IT'S MY BELT!" again,
ECW World Heavyweight Championship: Taz vs. Shane Douglas (w/Francine)
So here it is, a year's worth of build. All that hate and animosity swerves and beatdowns. And that start mat wrestling, what. It’s not bad for a feeling out process, but Shane is so terrible and banged up he just looks god awful. Thankfully as the crowd almost begins shitting on them they begin “ECW’ing” it up by brawling all around the building. Lots of bad punches and the camera missing stuff, that takes up 10 minutes of air time. Both men get busted open during the brawl, they eventually make their way back to ringside where Shane introduces a table and sends Taz head first into the table which is set up in the corner. Shane finally does something smart, and that’s target Taz’s once broken neck, he also broke the pitbulls necks so this makes sense until he stops working it and goes get another table instead, this time that backfires and Taz Triplex's him through the table for two………….SUDDENLY, THE LIGHTS GO OUT BUT IT’S SABU!! WITH FULL PYRO AND MUSIC
SABU KILLS THEM BOTH WITH PAYBACK BEFORE LEAVING! Shane tries a cover, but Taz kicks out at two. Shane signals for the TRIPLE THREAT! But Tammy Lynn Sytch comes out, he talks to Shane, but then Francine gets mad at her for some reason. They fight, and Candido comes out to separate them. Francine spears her, so Candido turns on Shane and punches him in the head and throws down his triple threat t-shirt. Way to build to that?!?!! We haven’t seen Candido since November, UGH! TAZ POPS UP AND APPLIES THE TAZMISSION! SHANE TRIES HIS BEST TO FIGHT BUT TAZ DROPS TO THE MAT………….SHANE GIVES THE REF THE FINGER BEFORE PASSING OUT AND TAZ WINS!!!! YES! THAT 406 DAY AWFUL TITLE RUN IS OVER, FUCK YES! This managed to be both disappointing and really satisfying at the same time. **1/4