Donnie watches TNA 2006

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels-18/6/06

TNA IMPACT
August 24th, 2006
Impact Zone

Runt kicks off the show making fun of Abyss thinking it would be that easy. He let him live to fight another day, and wants him next week in a ten thousand thumbtack match. He punches a truck and then runs away as he sees something he doesn't like. The camera pans up to Raven sitting there smiling.

Tonight; Border Brawl for the tag titles.

In the ring, Shane Douglas brags about his boys being the future and how he told us so. He brings them out for their match.

Match#1 Alex Shelley & Johnny Devine vs The Naturals
Alex works for 3 as he does what he can for these lame and limited dull ass dorks. Nats have fallen off something awful and really add nothing to this as all their offence looks terrible. Devine is a goof as we've talked about. So, yeah, this blows. The ending is even worse as the Nats go up top to hit a doomsday device, and Shelley kicks Chase's leg out and Devine falls on top and pins him to win. Way to make last week mean nothing, you fucks
LOLTNA

Post match, Shane waddles down and yells at them for being shit. This entire story is dire.

In the back, JB is with AMW. Harris is pissed and yanks the beer out of Storm's hand before he can drink it. He says they're as close as brothers and they aren't always going to see eye to eye, so if they want to end this then do it eye to eye like men. Storm shouts he doesn't like this either, and Harris says he hates it as well. Storm says he's not settling for anything. Harris offers his hand, so Storm gets a beer and they clink them and all is well.

Christian Cage comes out and sits in a chair under a spotlight. He says he's here just like he said he would be without a lie. Unlike Sting who lied about being here as world champion. Sting says he's a man of faith and a man of God, well let him put it to you like this. From the guys who scrub the floor, to the cameramen and the wrestlers. The fans who chant his name and buy his merch and wish they could be him, HE IS GOD. Rhino now comes out all full of piss and vinegar and sweat. He says he's sick of hearing Cage talk, and he wants an answer as to why he did this. Rhino screams at him, so Cage backs off and says he can see how much this means to him given his long storied friendship with Sting. They go a LONG way back, don't they. like when we broke his neck and his career was in danger, and Sting was the first face he saw. OH WAIT A MINUTE, THAT WAS HIM. He called him every week when he was recovering like a cripple, OH WAIT HE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED HIM. Remember when they were overseas and Rhino's wife called and said she was taking the kid to Germany and he would never see his kid again. Well, Sting dropped everything and found him huddled into a corner and he hugged him and told him everything was going to be alright. THEN AGAIN HE COULD HAVE SWORN THAT WAS HIM. But since he's going to take Sting's side over his, they're at a crossroads. He gives him a chair and offers his back and tells him he hopes he's ready to flush ten years of friendship down the drain. Rhino can't do it, so Cage asks if he's really mad that he's got a bigger house and a nicer car than him. Or is he mad that he's a bigger star than him. HE STILL LOVES HIM. Rhino spins him around and throws the chair down. Cage says he's the only one around here with a set of balls. Rhino says he doesn't need a chair to kick his ass, so he decks him and they have a sick fight. Rhino sets up for for the Gore, but Cage hurls the chair into his face and busts him open. Cage kills him with a nasty shot to the face, and gets another chair, AND HE BREAKS OUT THE CONCHAIRTO AND KILLS RHINO DEAD AND POSES OVER HIS BODY. FUCK YES.

Amazing, amazing angle.

Horrrrrible recap of the Hebner angle.

In the back, Larry denies he was part of any of this, and he wants to be left alone. He says Slick should be fired, and EY walks on as he heard the word. Larry says he's got a match next week and he better win or pack his bags. EY compliments his wig.

James Mitchell joins the booth for Abyss' match.

Match#2 Abyss vs Cassidy Riley
Short and whatever squash. BHS does it.
1/2*

Post match, Mitchell dumps tacks on the mat and Abyss punches them in all time sick moment.

We get an amazing Sting video. He says the contract is only missing one thing...Jeff's signature.

Jeff now comes out and grabs the contract and says next week we're getting a public execution of Sting. WOOOOOO MURDER.

Hype for the main event.

Match#3 AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (c) vs LAX w/Konnan (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships-Border Brawl)
-THE CHAMPS JUMP THEM AT THE BELL AND WE GET A WILD, WILD BRAWL WITH ALL THE HATE IN THE WORLD.
-Daniels is dressed in fancy clothes for some reason, and it's perfect pro wrestling.
-They fight all over the outside, and the AJ/Ci paring is pure magic as they beat the crap out of each other.
-DANIELS DIVES OVER THE BOOTH TO HIT HERNANDEZ WITH A CROSSBODY
-AJ's cut is opened up during the fight and it really adds to things as Ci rips it oven
-Konnan gets involved and attacks AJ
-Hernandez clobbers Daniels and breaks out a proto curbstomp to really mess him up
-Daniels fights back and uses a chair to take down the big man, BUT HE GETS CAUGHT AND HERNANDEZ DROPS HIM FACE FIRST ONTO IT. JESUS CHRIST.
-CI sees blood and beats Daniels's now injured head with rights and lefts, and Daniels is all bloody and badly hurt.
-AJ is thrown back in and has a chair thrown at his face, AND HE BRINGS HIM BACK TO LIFE AND HE BASHES LAX BY HIMSELF AND DROPS THEM WITH BOMBS
-BUT CI CUTS HIM OFF WITH A GROSS EXPLODER.
-AJ WON'T DIE AND HITS THE BIG MAN WITH A FLIP DIVE TO TAKE HIM OUT.
-Back in the ring, Ci and Daniels fight on top near a table, AND KONNAN HITS DANIELS WITH THE SLAPJACK AND CI HITS THE ACE CRUSHER THROUGH THE TABLE AND LAX WINS THE TITLES.
-FUCK YEAH 5150
***1/2

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; LAX-24/8/06

TNA IMPACT
August 31st, 2006
Impact Zone

Our NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW World tag champs make their way out to the ring. Konnan drops the Che quote and dedicates the titles to every legal and illegal Latino in the country, and to their mothers who came here and put up with all the racist crap they put up with in TNA, He thanks all the famous Latino wrestlers who paved the way, and says he hates all the gringos who dare to cheer them. He issues an open challenge to anyone. Daniels and AJ pop up on the screen and say they made the mistake of playing their game and they lost, so now they've got a rematch at No Surrender. AJ says for the first time ever it will be A TAG TEAM ULTIMATE X FOR THE TITLES. HOLY SHIT YES

Match#1 Senshi & Petey Willams vs Chris Sabin & Jay Lethal
Tenay announces Ki/Sabin for the title at the PPV!!! Standard fun opening between all the old rivals, with Ki and Lethal being the obvious standout as always. Jay is isolated, and the heels try to outdo each other with the beating they put down on him and it's good fun watching them do it. Sabin gets the hot tag and goes crazy on them with a flurry and bounces them all over, and it rules to see him back in there with Ki. It all breaks down and Petey gets thrown into Ki by Sabin, and Ki shoves him back into Sabin who hits a hurricane DDT to win as Ki just stares at him.
**

Bobby Roode is still looking for a manager, and is now thinking of going outside of wrestling to find whoever can make him the most money.

Match#2 Eric Young vs Shark Boy
Battle of the cult heroes. Short and fun comedy match with lots of biting and funny EY moments. Neckbreaker ends it
*

Post match, Hebner attacks Slick again.

Recap of Cage/Rhino.

In the back, Cage says he's been teaching people hard lessons from Sting to Rhino. He's the biggest star in the company and everyone's meal ticket and if anyone has a problem, step to him, Truth walks on and says he got a chance once and became a two title champ and he's never made excuses for a loss. Cage ain't man enough to handle Sting, Rhino, or HIM. Cage says he's not going to be the first fake gangster rapper he's beaten up! Truth slaps him and they have a great pull apart.

Hype for Abyss/Runt.

Match#3 Abyss w/James Mitchell vs Brother Runt (Ten Thousand Thumbtack Match)
You win by throwing the other guy on the tacks which is lame as fuck tbh. ALSO THE TACKS ARE ON A FUCKING POLE, SO YOU KNOW WHO BOOKED THIS SHIT, BRO. Ahhh, this fall is going to kill me, dudes. They have a fun little hardcore brawl around the Zone, and Runt takes a few nutty bumps for the big fella. The tacks get broken out and Abyss press slams Spike onto them to win.
*1/2

Post match, they fight up the ramp and Abyss goes to throw him though a table, but Raven shows up and makes the save and kicks Abyss off the stage into two tables covered in tacks. Raven picks Runt up and does his pose with him on his back.

A BUNCH OF DUDES IN MASKS WITH GUNS COME DOWN TO THE RING LIKE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL?????

Recap of JJ/Sting.

We come back and there's a fucking noose in the ring along with the dudes with guns. A plant fan throws a bottle at JJ as he comes out to the ring, and they throw him out. He rambles for a while about the same old shit, and promises to execute Sting's career and have him shot by said gun guys. Wooo murder. JJ signs the contract and keeps talking about killing Sting at BFG, and like maybe don't outright admit to plotting murder. A PHONE STARTS TO RING AND DW ANSWERS IT AND IT'S CORNETTE ON THE LINE. He says he's watching in the TNA offices and he's sick of all of Jeff's lies and plotting and he's had enough of him benefiting from the bad stuff. He says next week he's having a public trial next week with a lie detector test. If he passes, he doesn't have to wrestle until BGF just like Sting. But if he fails the fans will get even with him PERSONALLY. He should worry more about the fans than Sting.

An episode full of mostly good stuff, but also featuring a hideous dogshit angle and a terrible gimmick match. That motherless fuck is lurking.

 

[Samoa Looch]

Wooo murder. JJ signs the contract and keeps talking about killing Sting at BFG, and like maybe don't outright admit to plotting murder.

But... you see... it's his world after all.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

But... you see... it's his world after all.

Hope his world has a good lawyer

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; LAX-24/8/06

TNA IMPACT
September 7th, 2006
Impact Zone

In the back, JB is with Jeff (and EY jumping around the background) he pops up with jet black hair and says its because of a lady, beer and a pack of cards. He says his uncle Leo knows all the tricks to pass the test, and Jeff walks off with him.

Tonight; Truth vs Christian.

Match#1 LAX w/Konnan vs The Mack Brothers
The UX structure is set up around the ring. AWESOME AS FUCK LAX SQUASH. They beat the complete and utter piss out of these two skinny dorks and hold nothing back. Hernandez is again stiff and sloppy as all hell, and it's a blast watching him try to kill people with nasty headdrops. Ci is God as always. Double tandem finishers ends it.
**1/2

Post match, Konnan brings out a PPV poster and rants about LAX not being on because of the evil gringos. He promises to bloody them up and leave them for dead, and send AJ back to dark matches and Daniels back to Vegas. THE FORMER CHAMPS RUN OUT AND A KILLER FIGHT HAPPENS. AJ and Daniels beat the shit out of them and clear the ring. Daniels climbs the truss and easily jumps all the way up and hangs up the title as the fans chant "YOU CAN'T GET IT"

In the back, people are getting ready for the lie detector test.

In the back, Cage is getting ready for his match.

Russo loves his bullshit backstage segments, so get ready for more of that.

In a pre-tape, Bobby Roode meets with BOBBY HEENAN!!!!! Bobby gives him his pitch about all the people he's managed including Flair, which leads to Bobby saying he's heard of that guy. Bobby gives him some cash and offers to get him into a real estate deal. Roode says he's going to think about it for sure.

In the back, Sabin, Jay and Dutt are watching Jackass 2, when Lynn walks on and says Sabin should be in the ring getting ready. Sabin says this is intense mental training and getting ideas from this. Lynn storm off as we see Knoxville getting gored by a Bull.

Match#2 America's Most Wanted & Shazarian w/Gail Kim vs The James Gang, Norman Smiley & Shark Boy
The heels have some fun stooging to start with AMW really breaking out some funny moments when they get bit and hit with the big wiggle. Tenay announces that Shane Douglas has given up the Nats #1 contendership and it will now be contested in a triple chance tag team battle royal with the last two teams facing off in a tag match.. Some stuff happens for a while and Storm kills Norman with the superkick, and Harris steals the pin from his partner. OH NO.
3/4*

Post match, AMW argue again and Harris flips him off and leaves. SGHITOJW4EGORWFRKGTF STOP THIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

In the back, EY has placed a toy alligator on JJ's foot and has him drinking a martini. EY says this is all about nerves and now his chi is aligned. EY says to remember OJ and stay calm. DEAD. The guy running the test keeps trying to ask questions, and EY keeps objecting to it all and tells Jeff to plead the 5th. JB says they'll be back later.

In a pre-tape, Shane talks about his Nats doing well and whatnot, and says he wants them to take the hard road to make it to the top of the mountain. He says either they win or this experiment ends. The Nats get very angry about this, and Shane says they have done everything he's asked expect win. Uh, no they actually did, you stupid goof.

In another pre-tape, Raven talks about creating the Dudleyz in 95 and says Runt was always his favourite. He didn't give Abyss permission to play with him, so now he's going to play with his brain like DR Frankenstein to see what makes him tick in a Hangman's Horror match next week. Short trip, bad landing. I don't mind this at all.

Match#3 Christian Cage vs Ron Killings
Hell yeah. Wish this happened on PPV where it could get real time, but i'll happily take this. Really good opening to start Truth is all fire and beats the shit out of him in amazing, amazing form, and Cage is SO much better as a heel bumping and selling his ass off for all of it. We come back from the break with Cage in control, and we see Cage eye poked him to take over. He beats him down and attacks the neck, and it's a ton of fun watching him finally get to do what he's best at. Truth makes a sweet comeback selling the damage, but still working as hard as he can to beat this dickhead up. Finishing run is short but really fun as well as we get a few super close near falls. The ref gets bumped into the corner, and Cage punts Truth in the nuts and hits the Unprettier to win.
**3/4

Post match, Cage tries the Conchairto, but Rhino returns from the dead and cleans house. He gets the mic and calls him a little girl and says Cage ended 10 years of friendship. He challenges him to a match at No Surrender.

In the back, JB says the test is done and Jeff answered every question. Jeff walks out and asks JB if he wants to shake hands with an innocent man. He thanks EY and says he has a job for life, and thanks to Uncle Leo. They walk off to the ring together, and the tester walks out shaking his head.

UX hype video.

In the ring, Cornette is standing by. He makes Cage/Rhino for the PPV. He covers the history of all of Jeff's bullshit over the last few months, and brings him out to the ring along with EY. Corny reads the results, and hey it turns out that Jeff didn't know that Cage was going to turn on Sting. Nor did he work with Hebner during KOTM. However, he did work in a conspiracy with Larry to keep the title over the last year! EY freaks out and runs for the hills before he dies. Corny says he can't make him defend the title as that would screw Sting over, but he's going to pick 18 TNA fans and give them a belt to whip his ass in Fans Revenge. He realises he didn't say who he was wrestling, and the fans chant for Joe. Corny brings out SAMOA JOE AS THE MAN WHOSE GOING TO FACE HIM.

Would have been a lot cooler if you just gave Joe the spot at BFG and did the right thing, but TNA is a tale of doing stupid things and paying the price for it.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; LAX-24/8/06

TNA IMPACT
September 14th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight; Raven vs Abyss in Hangman's Horror.

Hype for the UX match.

Match#1 AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels vs SHAZARIAN
SCU explode. Really fun showcase for our heroes against these bland dweebs for a few minutes. The heels do work hard to their credit and control Daniels with very good basics. Also, helps that Daniels sells his ass off for all of it, but you get my point. AJ gets the hot tag and lights them up as only 2006 AJ Styles can. They beat KAZ with the BME/Frog Splash combo.
**1/2

In the back, Larry screams at EY for messing up last week. Jeff walks on and demands they get him out of this. He calls EY a freaking idiot, and he wants him to find Sting and see how he's training. He then demands Larry march down to the ring and get him out of this match, or he has hell to pay.

Match#2 Alex Shelley vs Chris Sabin
Super rad 4 minute sprint as we needed to cut time for more Larry bullshit, it seems. STILL, rad mat work and escalation and wild stuff when they get a chance. Ki watches from the stage and doesn't look impressed because he's a mean man. Finishing run is very good stuff before Jay and Sonjay bring Dutt out in a shopping cart and roll him down the ramp. Shelley is distracted, and Sabin pins him.
**1/4

We get an incredible Cage/Rhino history video.

Raven and Abyss brawl in the crowd and it's on, i guess.

Match#3 Raven vs Abyss w/James Mitchell (Hangman's Horror)
They keep fighting around the Zone as they need a massive crutch to hide how much Raven sucks now, sadly. Mind is still there, but his body is cooked as he can't do half the cool shit he used to. They use plunda and bleed a lot, and it's not awful or anything, but it's not what this was a year ago or even close to that level. Abyss puts a chain around Raven's neck and strangles him dead to win.
3/4*

Post match, Runt runs down with a chair and hits Abyss a few times to save. He get Raven free and helps him up, BUT BAW GAWD HE HITS RAVEN WITH THE ACID DROP AND SCREAMS AT HIM.

In a pre-tape, Col Robert Parker tries to recruit Bobby Roode to be his next Stone Cold and make his career 24 carrot gold. Bobby shakes his hand and says he's going to think about it.

In the back, LAX are having a party with some ladies. Konnan says next week they're celebrating Hispanic Heritage month and then kick some gringo ass at No Surrender.

In the ring, Corny is hosting a town hall meeting with a ton of fans at ringside. He thanks them for helping TNA get to this level, and he asks them to use the straps to show JJ what he's in store for. He talks about Hebner's actions and then weirdly gives him his job back to fix things. He says he's going to have a closed door meeting with Larry next week. He introduces Joe, and the big man comes out to the ring. Joe says he's here to make Jeff pay for all of his crimes in TNA and his ass belongs to him. Larry comes out now and yells at Cornette for disrespecting the great tradition of pro wrestling as Jim has lost his mind and needs to take Jeff out of the match. Corny calls him a crook and says he's going to get rid of the championship committee, and now get out of his ring. Larry says no one is going to make him leave, and Corny says the army of Samoa will. Joe hits him with the belt and the fans chase him off.

JJ runs down and now beats up a plant fan to end the show.

HORRIBLE EPISODE.

 

[Sky]

one 28th of a star, that's new

(oop, didn't notice there was a new page, I'm on the Aug 17 edition)

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; LAX-24/8/06

TNA IMPACT
September 21st, 2006
Impact Zone

Fun fact; This was the first TNA show i ever watched after the ending of the upcoming PPV. I found XWT and Utorrent and downloaded it. Also found ROH and CZW shortly after and my wrestling fandom was never the same.

Rhino is in the back and he says he's going to take out Monty tonight in a FCA

Monty says words until Christian walks on and says they have some serious business to talk about. Monty follows him off camera.

JJ makes his way out for his promo time, and i can't fucking wait for him to piss off. He says this is his SVU as he's been a damn victim since day one of TNA starting. Last week was bogus and he's now a victim of all the fans throwing stuff at him every week. He says he's going to beat Joe to a bloody pulp and make him his victim, and then execute Sting at BFG. He dares anyone to become his victim, and hey Samoa Joe runs down and beats the fuck out of him with knees and punches. JJ gets the best of it and whips him with a belt and then attacks a fan with the belt. Joe comes back and they brawl into the crowd for some classic brawling that would put me in an asylum. Anyway, they keep fighting and fighting until JJ gets his guitar and brains Joe and busts him wide open. OH SHIT. JJ strangles him with the broken pieces and screams as Joe passes out. Awesome angle.

Hype for UX.

They show clips of Petey hitting the CD. Really blew my mind the first time i saw it.

Match#1 Jay Lethal vs Petey Willams
Petey attacks Jay right away and goes to work, and it's another good little bit of work from him. Sadly, the Jackass bit is used to ruin a match as we Sabin brings out a bowling ball for Jay to roll into Petey's dick, and beats him with a roll up.
5/6*

Cornette joins commentary to hype the PPV.

In the back, Ki talks about how much he hates Jackass and says this isn't the place for jokes. Sabin walks on and makes gags, and Ki tells him to ask his friends how funny it was when he slapped their heads in. Sabin makes fun of his voice and walks off. Hey, this fucking sucks.

Match#2 Eric Young vs Norman Smiley
HELL YEAH. Awesome mat work from Norm to start and then he breaks out the amazing comedy, and EY meets him at every turn. So, yeah this rules a ton for the 3 minutes it gets. EY wins with the Neckbreaker.
**

In the back, Shane repeats his promise that he will drop the Nats if they lose on Sunday.

EY runs on with a VHS in his pants and says he wants to give it to "him" as he needs to see it. JB agrees to help him out as they're on the level.

We see the tape, and it's EY and Shelley looking for Sting. EY has a bunch of signs asking if anyone has seen Sting, and it's very funny and well done classic TNA comedy.

Match#3 Monty Brown vs Rhino (Falls Count Anywhere)
Really thought Brown was gone at this point, so my bad. This is the classic decent power battle between a washed dude and a limited one, so it's ok once more and not much else. They brawl all around the Zone and use some plunda and whatnot. Again, limited and not all that fun, sadly. Cage finally runs out and attacks Rhino, and the match is thrown out.
3/4*

Post match, they fight all the way to the back and Christian hits the conchaito against a fucking brick wall. WOOOO KILL HIM.

This week, Sherri Martel tries to recruit Bobby as her man. He once again says he's going to think about it, but they'll get dinner first.

In the back, JB find a bloody Joe, and i must recap this one.

"Jeff this was about the fans vengeance FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE. But tonight Jeff, unfortunately for you, you made it about MY vengeance. Jeff for every drop of blood you spill, i will spill a bucket of yours. Do you understand Jeff? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE UNLEASHED. JEFF FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE CAUSED ME TONIGHT, I RETURN IT TENFOLD. YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME NOW? YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT THE FANS TO WORRY ABOUT? JEFF (LAUGHS LIKE A COMPLETE MADMAN) YOU WORRY ABOUT ME. THERE WILL BE NO QUARTER GIVEN. THERE WILL BE NO REMORSE. ONLY MY VENGEANCE. JOE IS GOING TO KILL YOU. JOE IS GOING TO KILL YOU. JEFF COME NO SURRENDER, I HAVE BLED. BUT WHEN I FACE YOU JEFF, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL DIE.

In the carpark, Cage says Rhino isn't on his level, and the tells JB to piss off like Queer Eye.

In the ring, lAX are having a party and have an Uncle Sam doll hanging in the middle. K-Dawg talks about beating AJ and Daniels for the titles and leaving them dead, and now they have to fight in UX. He promises to bring a level of violence never seen before in UX, and it will be called Ultimate LAX after this. He rants about the Latino Nation taking over the USA and then beats up the doll with a belt to send a message. AJ and Daniels run down for another killer brawl. They finally get Konnan alone and go for the kill, but LAX save and leave them laying with slapjacks. Daniels is press slammed to the floor, and AJ is hung up by the wires via his feet, AND KONNAN KILLS HIM WITH CANE SHOTS TO THE CHEST AND LEGS. HOLY SHIT YEAH. Daniels is hit as well to end it. Amazing angle.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; LAX-24/8/06

TNA NO SURRENDER
SEPTEMBER 24TH, 2006
THE IMPACT ZONE

On September 21, 2006, TNA president Dixie Carter re-signed Russo as a writer on the TNA creative team.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, TNA. Nothing i can possibly add as everyone knows where this is leading, so fuck it lets burn and die together.

To start the show, Tenay says TNA has a massive announcement tonight that will rewrite history. It's TRUE.

Match#1 Eric Young vs A1
EY is now living in an undisclosed location so TNA can't fire him. AMAZING. This isn't much as EY can only do so much with this giant turd for 7 minutes. He breaks out some fun bumps and selling, and the crowd is hot for all of it, but A1 adds nothing but bad to this. EY wins with the Elbow.
*

In the back, JB enters Corny's office to talk about the big announcement, and Corny says it will be made by a wrestler whose not even on the card.

In the back, Sabin, Lethal and Dutt are playing games and fucking around. Sonjay makes a laxative joke as he holds up a box, and Lynn storms on and yells at them for being idiots when they've got big nights. Sabin offers him a chip, so Lynn walks off.

In the ring, Petey drinks some of his water and looks a little worried. OH NO.

Match#2 Petey Willams vs Jay Lethal
7 minutes this time and far better than the TV match as the nonsense doesn't hit right away. Really fun back and forth to start, and Jay shows him up a few times and looks really good in the process. Sadly, Petey starts selling he needs to shit and then the match goes to the toilet with it. 3uqgorifwjeodefgrebwhrwiajeoqwdefjrngfwkoq. Lethal wins with a roll up.
*

Petey runs to the back to take a shit.

Hype for Runt/RavenAbyss.

Match#3 Raven vs Abyss w/James Mitchell vs Brother Runt (No Disqualification)
Didn't think this would be our saving grace, but dudes murdering each others brains for 10 minutes is jam and a blast after all of that trash. They waste no time before breaking out the plunda and clobbering each other super fucking hard. Runt is the punching bag as always, and the two big men kill him and then each other when they get sick of that. Abyss press slams Spike all the way to the floor onto Raven in a gross moment. They use a million trash can lids and other classic plunda, and it's everything that this needs, and should always be. Mindless dumb fun. RAVEN BREAKS OUT THE HELEMT FROM LAST YEAR AND USES IT TO CRUSH SPIKE'S NUTS. Everyone fights up near the tunnel and Raven hurls Spike down it. hahahahaha kill him.
Raven and Abyss fight over a table and Abyss is laid on it, AND SPIKE JUMPS OFF THE TOP OF THE STAGE WITH A DOUBLE STOMP AND CRUSHES ABYSS'S RIBS. GOOD LORD. Raven hooks a chain around Spike's neck and drags him to the other side of the Zone and hangs him dead off a balcony. They fight on top of it and Raven kicks Spike off into some tables. Everyone eventually fights back in the ring and Abyss comes back to life and beats Raven with the BHS.
**3/4

In the back, JJ is wearing a ton of clothes to protect himself from the belts, Pussy, He says a ton of words and i refuse. For me and the amazing freaks who read this.

Hype for the triple chance tag match. Both team members must be thrown out, and then the last two teams will face in a tag match.

Match#4 Triple Chance Battle Royal.

AMW, Naturals, Paparazzi Productions, James Gang, Shazarian, Killings/Hoyt, Sharkie/Smiley, and Diamonds in the Rough. The difference between good and bad in this is amazing, and a little sad tbh. Norman is tossed first, and Hoyt MURDERS Skipper with a gross big boot to get rid of him. Sadly, the James gang toss Lance out because they're the fucking worst. Truth dropkicks Devine's head into the UX truss and kicks him out. AMW finally get back on the same track and save each other a few times, AND STORM SHOVES CHASE OFF THE TOP ROPE AND HE LANDS IN THE CROWD. HOLY SHIT. DY and Matt both fall out. So, now DIR are gone. Shelley dumps Truth and BG over and out. Kaz is pulled out by Devine. Kip Gunn throws Shelley out like a real dick. HE THEN KICKS STORM OUT. WHAT THE FUCK, RUSSO. Kip also throws Harris out, but the ref misses it, and he gets back and finally dumps this jerkoff. Nats vs AMW is fun as always, but it's lacking that fire after the Nats fall off. Still, good times compared to the rest of this. They fight on the outside in a brawl and AMW move ahead once more, so the kids have to fight back with some heart and franchised balls to have a chance. AMW go for the Death Sentence, but Harris attacks Andy on the floor and leaves Storm alone. He goes for Eye of the Storm, but Chase reverses into a roll up to win.
**1/4

Post match, Shane comes down and makes nice again.

Match#5 Senshi (c) vs Chris Sabin (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Sick mat work to start as Sabin cuts out all the bullshit and finally wrestles, and Ki ramps it up as only he can. Truly some of the best stuff all year. Sabin uses his speed to pull ahead and gets a ton of close call rollups on Ki, but close isn't good enough and Ki is now very mad and unloads a flurry of nasty shots in revenge. Sabin mans up and fights back as best he can, but Ki takes his legs out with a dropkick to finally take over. His control is incredible as it's the perfect mix of bully asshole, but also a guy who realises this kid has a lot more than he thought. Sabin's selling is tremendous as are his attempted comebacks as he fights like hell to have a chance, and slowly inches closer and closer. He tries a tope, AND KI CATCHES HIM WITH A KICK RIGHT TO THE TEMPLE TO KILL HIM DEAD. Sabin somehow kicks out on 2.9, and now Ki starts messing with him with some classic cocky bully work. KI PUTS ON SABIN STOMACH FIRST ON THE ROPES AND HITS THE FUCKING WARRIORS WAY TO THE BACK FOR ANOTHER INSANE NEAR FALL. Ki can't put him away despite all of it, and Sabin hits a Dragon Screw to finally stop him and he mounts a comeback throwing it all at Ki to beat the complete shit out of him, and he sells his ass off the entire time. He breaks out the Springboard Dropkick to further hurt him, but Ki manages to drop him face first with a slam and starts kicking the shit out of him with super loud shots. Ki catches him with the Combo Kick to crotch him on top, but Sabin fights out and drops him down and hits a gross dropkick to the face. Ki gets revenge with a nasty shot of his own, but Sonjay and Lethal run down with a blow up doll and throw into the ring. Ki doesn't realise and double stomps it, and Sabin blindsides him. Sabin jumps off top, BUT KI THROWS THE DOLL IN HIS FACE AND MURDERS HIM WITH THE WARRIORS WAY FOR 3.
***1/4

In the back, Cage rants about Rhino turning his back on him after all the things he did for him from the day he met his pathetic ass. Rhino bit the hand that feeds, and now he must kill him for his legacy. He's the biggest star in the company and that's how he rolls.

Awesome hype video for Cage/Rhino

Match#6 Christian Cage vs Rhino
Good fight to start as it feels like it would be if decades of friendship ended how this did. Rhino lays in his shots, and Cage runs and ducks like a creepy little bastard. Rhino won't let him be and they brawl all over the Zone, and it's really good for the single most tired TNA trope in the book. Cage really brings new life to it, and props to Rhino for working hard right with him.Rhino hurts his shoulder on a missed gore into a wall, and then Cage hits the Implant DDT onto the ramp to bust him open. Awesome control seg as now Cage is both back in his element as a dirtbag heel, and has his friend to die for him. He kills the cuts and just beats his ass, and Rhino again works very hard for him. His comeback isn't much as he's still washed, but Cage bumps his ass off for him to make up for it. The ref gets bumped and Cage kills Rhino with some chair shots and hits the Unpreitter on one to win.
**1/2


In the parking lot, Eric is talking to JB and LAX comes over. Konnan tells Eric to leave and calls him a walking glory hole. He says AJ and Daniels are about to get a war that they won't survive. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBDAT.

Hype for the tag title match

Match#7 LAX (c) w/Konnan vs AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships-Ultimate X)
-They get right to with a ton of hate and violence, and AJ and Daniels is again a dream pair,
-Daniels uses his speed to take down the big man to keep him as far away as possible.
-AJ is the first to climb as Daniels fights LAX, but they get the best of it and Ci swings his legs over and over until AJ falls off and hits the ropes throat first.
-CI breaks out a chair because he can't help himself
-He kills Daniels with a sick Tope-Con-Hillo, and then AJ follows up with a moonsault right onto Ci's bad shoulder.
-Hernandez turns the tide with his insane power and kills out heroes
-HE TOSSES AJ ALL THE WAY OVER THE BORDER WITH A NASTY POWERBOMB THAT BENDS AJ IN HALF.
-LAX get a ladder to avoid climbing up in a wonderful bullshit heel thing.
-AJ comes back to life and kills Ci with the ladder, and the faces double team the big man and crotch him on the ladder
-HERNANDEZ WONT BE KILLED AND KILL DANIELS WITH AN OVERHEAD CHOKE BOMB OFF THE TOP ROPE. JESUS FUCK
-He kills AJ as well, and LAX have a control seg on AJ in a killer beating.
-The big man tries to climb, so AJ hits a sweet springboard forearm to knock him off.
-Ci finally climbs up and gets to the middle, but AJ climbs up behind him and tries to drag him off, BUT CI TURNS IT INTO THE ACE CURSHER
-HOLY FUCK
-Daniels is back to life and tries to fight, but LAX hit the Steiner Bulldog to stop him.
-Hernandaz tries to climb again, but AJ runs over and pulls him down and sends him into a prone Ci on the mat.
-AJ goes nuts on his comeback and lights LAX up in classic form
-Daniels joins in and LAX are finally forced to eat some well deserved shit.
-They have to keep double teaming and comboing the. big man to keep him dead, and they hit a BME, Frog splash, Spiral Tap one to finally get rid of him.
-AJ Hits Ci with a Styles Clash through a table on the outside and both men are dead
-Konnan hits AJ with a slapjack to KO him.
-Konnan tries to hit Daniels with a cane to stop him from climbing up
-BUT DANIELS SAYS FUCK IT AND CLIMBS TO THE VERY TOP OF THE TRUSS
-

-NO FREAKING WAY
****1/2

An absolute all timer and the reason i fell in love with TNA and discovered all the other wrestling companies. God Bless.


BOUND FOR GLORY: OCTOBER 22ND!

In the back, JJ forces Eric to go hunting for Sting in the rafters.

Match#8 Samoa Joe vs Jeff Jarrett (Fans Revenge)
Oh dear. Jeff is wearing all the layers and gets far too much on Joe to start because he can't look weak or eat shit anymore, and i loathe him so goddamn much. Joe's selling is at least amazing, but this is the real big chink in the amour of Joe's booking as he's not winning the title and is being made to look weak when he shouldn't be near this match until he's winning the title. Even more so when he's already handled Jeff and Steiner before, so what the fuck, man. Joe finally fights back and lays waste to him for 50 seconds before Jeff puts him back on his ass. WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS SHIT, RUSSO. I KNOW THIS IS YOU BOOKING YOUR SINGLE WHITE FEMALE TO BE THE STRONGEST AGAIN AFTER TWO YEARS, BUT YOU COULD YOU FUCKING NOT DO IT AS JOE'S EXPENSE, YOU FUCKING HORSES ASS. Joe finally gets to tie Jeff to the ropes so fans can whip him like a dog, but the damage is done. Jeff hits a Stroke on a guitar, but only Joe's hand goes through it so it looks awful on top of how bad everything has been thus far. JEFF NOW GETS INTO A SLAP FIGHT WITH JOE AND SOMEHOW DOESN'T DIE AND ACTUALLY GETS SOME SHOTS INJGRWKJAEFGJNR BSTEROGWSFJRBTSREGFSADWZ. FUCK. JOE HITS THE MUSCLE BUSTER TO END THIS PIECE OF SHIT, BUT DOESN'T WIN THE TITLE BECAUSE LOLTNA
1/2*

Post match, Joe walks over to the booth and takes the NWA worlds title with him and leaves.

Cornette now gets in the ring and announces TNA is going to prime time in November. Oh, and this

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels-24/9/06

TNA IMPACT
September 28th, 2006
Impact Zone

KURT ANGLE IS COMING TO TNA.

Lance Hoyt comes out from his match where he's attacked by an angry JJ. Tenay says this was meant to be a match, but that's not happening. Jeff whips him with a belt and kicks the crap out of him, and it's a million times better than the piece of shit PPV match. He strangles him dead for a while, and it's pretty cool. JJ gets the mic and says he won't forget what happened at NS, and he takes his shirt off to show some welts and bruises. He says he's holding all the fans responsible for this, and he wants his title back from Samoa Joe. He demands Cornette get it back by the end of the night, or Joe is being left in a pool of his own blood.

We go to the BFG press conference where Jim announces some matches
-Joe vs Abyss vs Raven vs Runt in a Monsters Ball...
WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF JOE
-Senshi vs Sabin for the title
-Jeff vs Sting
-He says Kurt will be doing something big at the PPV.

AUSTIN ARIES RETURNS IN A PROMO AS AUSTIN STARR AND HE SAYS EVERYONE IS GETTING STAR STRUCK AT BFG.

Match#1 Samoa Joe vs Raven
Hey one of my biggest dream matches happening with zero build on top of Raven being a fat washed old man. Thanks, Vince Russo. STILL, this kinda rules as Raven works super hard and slaps the shit out of Joe with no fear, so Joe fires back for a killer ass beating. He places him upside down in the ropes and boots him to the floor and goes for the tope, but Raven hits him with a chair. Sadly, Runt runs out and attacks Raven with a chain and lays him out. Joe locks in the choke to win.
**

Post match, Spike stupidly gets in the ring near Joe, and ends up slapping him. Joe murders him and press slams him onto Raven. Abyss runs out and goes face to face with Joe, AND JOE FIGHTS HIM IN A KILLER KAIJU BATTLE. FUCK YEAH. JOE DROPS HIM WITH A BOOT AND HOLDS THE RING. Joe grabs the title and tries to leave as everyone fights. Jim walks out and demands it back, but Joe tells him to tell JJ to come and get it.

Recap of Cage/Rhino.

We go back to the press conference where Rhino is speaking. He wants to settle the score with Cage in his hometown of Detroit, and he wants it in an 8 Mile Street Fight.

Match#2 Team 3D vs Brandon Thomaselli & Vaugn Doring
OH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. Awful lazy fat shit squash. Just die in a hole, you old assholes. 3D ends it. During this amazing match, Tenay said AJ was attacked by a gang of LAX members when he was wrestling in Mexico, and we will see footage next week.
POOP

Post match, Bubba gets the mic and is very happy about being back in TNA. He says TNA management offered them a title shot any time they want, but they want to EARN it and will do so by starting at the bottom and going right to the top through every team. Well, that sounds horrifying.

Sting is coming to BFG. Well, i would hope so.

Back at the conference, Lex Luger sings Sting's praises as one of the best ever and whatnot, and yeah it's not all that interesting on top of Luger being the worst. Buff Bagwell also speaks about Sting training like never before.

We go from that to another hype video of Luger and Buff talking more about Sting.

Great layout, Russo.

in the back, JJ begs EY to go and get his belt back to make it up the last month to him. EY finally shows some guts and says no. WOOOOO.

Match#3 Alex Shelley, Johnny Devine & Senshi vs Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt
Christian joins commentary and calls Rhino dumb and silly, but he accepts the match for BFG. He says he wishes Rhino would come out here so he can kick his ass, and hey Rhino runs down and gets dragged away. IN THE BACKGROUND, a good match is happening from what i can see, but Cage and Rhino brawl again and finally leave. Back in the ring, the match happens and we see Dutt being isolated by the heels, and the work we get is very fun thanks to Shelley and Ki beating the snot out of him. Sabin gets the hot tag and lights everyone up before it all breaks down for a short and crazy final run. Ki and Sabin fight again briefly, and it's so cool. Sadly, the Jackass stuff hits when the faces kick a suitcase into Devine and roll him up to win.
I want to give this a star, but you know what? LOLTNA for all the bullshit.

Recap of UX.

We now go back to the conference where Corny says the tag titles will be defended in a Six Sides of Steele. GOD YES.

In the ring, Corny is standing by with Luger and Buff. He rambles for a while about Sting and adds nothing new to that story. He brings up Kurt Angle's debut and announces him as the special enforcer for the main event. JJ now comes out and asks where his title is, and says they're going to do this the hard way. Jim brings up Joe wanting Jeff to come find him is the real hard way. Jeff says he's got no balls, so Corny gets mad and they trade dick jokes. JJ attacks the old men with very weak shots as he could kill them if he hits hard. Joe now comes out and brawls with him to close this hideous episode.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels-24/9/06

TNA IMPACT
October 5th, 2006
Impact Zone

In the back, JB is outside Corny's office. He says we will see footage of AJ's attack. Also, Cage/JJ vs Truth/Daniels.

We go inside the office where Corny is ranting and raving in front of EY, Sharkie, Smiley, DY and Skipper. He says they have too many people on the roster with Kurt coming in, so tonight they're all in a loser is fired match. Mitchell and Abyss walk on and Jim says Abyss is the solution to the problems by giving the title back to Jeff if Jim grants them a title shot. Jim shakes his hand and agrees to it.

Match#1 Shazarian vs Team 3D
At least 3D are keeping their word, i guess. The Nats and Shane join commentary for some horrible Shane speaking over everything. Anyway, this stinks as 3D is still fat old and not caring, and these two dead heel acts can't do a thing to save the day with this much working against them. AMW and the James Gang come out to watch, and i have a baaaaaaad feeling. 3D ends it.
1/2*

Post match, Bubba issues an open challenge to any of these teams, or anyone to face them at BFG.

We get a video of Rhino training in the streets.

In the ring, Mitchell and Abyss are standing by. Jim gives him two options, lay the title down and leave peacefully, or Abyss leaves him laying he takes it from his cold dead fingers. Joe. comes down and lays the title down and has another super rad fight with the monster. Abyss drops him with a Chokeslam and gets the title, and JJ runs down and steals it. Abyss is not happy and attacks him, and Joe joins in and they kill JJ. Joe and Abyss fight some more and Joe drills him with a powerslam and leaves with the title again.

We see the footage of AJ in Mexico. Konnan and Ci confront him and beat the shit out of him along with a ton of others. They throw him into a steel door and beat him to a pulp. Konnan says this is what happens when you mess with Mexico.

Match#2 LAX w/Konnan vs Tyler Black & Jeff Watson
FUCK YEAH KILL HIM DEAD. Incredible 45 seconds of murder before the tandem finishers ends it.
5150

LAX move behind a cage wall and Konnan rants about Corny booking them in UX where they had no chance. Well, this time those two hoes will face them in a cage match and meet them in their world. A level of violence will happen that has never been seen before, and they will get the real meaning of 5150.

Match#3 Eric Young vs David Young vs Elix Skipper vs Norman Smiley vs Shark Boy (Loser Gets Fired)
90 seconds of nothing match wise. Larry Z comes out and attacks EY for some reason, so EY steals his wig and does comedy spots. He fights Sharkie, and Larry hits EY with a golf club and Sharkie rolls him to win.
DON'T FIRE ERIC.

In the back, JJ is very mad about not getting his title back earlier. He keeps talking and talking as Cage makes funny faces in the background until he finally cuts him off. He says he's the biggest star here and the reason TNA is going primetime. He tells him to worry about the guy who beat him for the title, so he needs to follow HIS lead.

Match#4 Christian Cage & Jeff Jarrett vs Christopher Daniels & Ron Killings
Super random teams aside, it's nice to see something this cool and different after a few terrible weeks of wrestling on TV. Daniels and JJ have sneaky good chemistry as we learnt in 03, so it rocks to see them fight again no matter how short. He's also great against Cage as is Truth, so the opening minutes all rule. Cage hurls Truth to the floor to kill him, and the heels go to work. Good stuff from Christian as he's finally on one as a heel and he batters Truth in killer form. JJ is fine and good, but fuck giving him any props at this point. It all breaks down as these things tend to, and LAX come out and hit Daniels with a Slapjack and JJ steals the pin.
**1/2

Post match, JJ calls for Joe to give him his belt. Joe comes down and they have a fine little fight, and JJ gets his belt back. Cage hits him with the Unprettier and steals the title, but Rhino comes out of nowhere and Gores him. Joe gets the title back and walks away,

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels-24/9/06

TNA IMPACT
October 12th, 2006
Impact Zone

To kick us off, JJ walks out of Corny's office. JB asks if he's going to get his title back, and Jeff says sometimes the fight isn't worth it. He walks off sadly.

Samoa Joe is in the ring with the title. Joe says the jackass who normally has this can talk as much as he wants, so he thought he would do it as well. He says everyone is asking why he stole the title and holding it hostage. Quite simply put because the worst of men have held it hostage for the last 4 years. Nothing but paper champions using it to play politics and not giving it the respect it deserves. He's going to give the title back to whoever wins it at BFG provided they give him the shot he deserves, and the one the fans want. Christian's music hits and he comes out with a mic. He says he heard about paper champions and he wants to assume he didn't mean him. Joe says his #1 choice would be Jarrett, but he's a close second. Cage says he's bragging about everyone he's beating, but he's never beaten him and he CAN'T beat him. That title on his shoulder was stolen from him the way it was stolen from JJ. He's taking it back tonight. Joe holds the ropes open and dares him to take it back. Cage says he didn't mean a wrestling match, he meant a fight. It's about the title and nothing else, so lets hoist the title all the way up and use a ladder to get it down. The better man will win, and you bet your ass he's the better man.

Awesome stuff.

In the back, JB is with LAX. K-Dawg says they hunting for gringo meat and they're on the hunt for AJ and Daniels.. ON CUE THE FACES THROW CHAIRS AT THEM AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. They brawl all the way down to the ring for another amazing, amazing fight. Hernandez is busted wide open in a nasty gusher, and the boys beat the hell out of the cut. AJ gets super violent on it, and Daniels ramps it up as well when he wreaks Ci and chokes him. They fight into the crowd and go to the border where Konnan uses the slap jack to turn the tide. They lock Daniels behind a chain link fence and kick his ass as AJ tries to climb over and help, but LAX keep kicking him away. Finally a ton of blackshirts break it up. FUCK YEAH.

Rhino is asked about Sting/JJ, but he gets mad and cries about losing his best friend.

In a pre-tape, Roode talks to all the managers on the phone and turns them all down because they suck. A woman walks over and Roode stares down her shirt and says he made the right choice.

in the back, Lynn yells at all the X-Division guys to stop being jackasses. Sabin calls him an old man and tells him to watch their match so they can see what they're all about.

Match#1 Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt & Shark Boy vs. Senshi, Alex Shelley, Johnny Devine & Petey Williams
Fuck yeah. Awesome sprint with a ton of great moments and very little bullshit after weeks and weeks of it. Tenay says we're going to hear from Nash after this. Dutt is isolated again and gets his ass handed to him, and only Devine sucks at it ofc. Sabin has another mad hot tag before it all breaks down and a massive dive train happens along with some killer movez. Sabin beats Shelley with a cradle.
**1/4

Nash pops up on the screen and says he's been gone for two months and the division has gone to the crapper. He built the division his entire career and this sickens him to see it at an all time low. Next week he's going to have a press conference about the Kevin Nash X Division Gauntlet Battle Royal taking place at Bound for Glory. AMAZING.

Hype for JJ/Sting.

Match#2 Diamonds in the Rough w/Simon Diamond vs Ron Killings & Lance Hoyt
We cut away right away to Raven trying to get Abyss and Spike to help him take out Joe for stealing the world title and not focusing on them. Russo blows. This isn't much as it's short and missing most of it thanks to that. Truth beats Skipper with a fancy rollup
1/2*

Post match, Simon yells at them and throws his jacket at them. DY then yells at Skipper and storm off with Simon. Truth gives Skipper a hug and leaves him alone in the ring. The fuck???

In another pre-tape, The James Gang are meant to talk about the main event of BFG, but BG calls Kip an ass and walks away.

We go to a Kurt Angle interview. He talks about winning the medal and not knowing what to do next, so he got into wrestling and won 6 world titles. But then one day someone told him he wasn't that special. He's here in TNA to meet the best in the world where he can see the fire in everyone's eyes. He brings up his addictions and says his DR wanted to slowly take him off them, but he quit them right there and then. OH NO, KURT. He calls this his redemption after Vince said he didn't mean shit, so he's going to show him he's seen nothing yet.

Match#3 Samoa Joe vs Christian Cage (Ladder Match)
Wonderful opening minutes as they match up so well together, and i can't wait for the 2007 series. JOE HITS A FUCKING TOPE TO THE LADDER TO CRUSH CAGE ONTO THE FLOOR. DUDE. We miss some coming back from the break, but both dudes are hurt and use the ladder to further cripple each other with some gross stuff. Joe baseball slides the ladder into CC's dick, which is a horrible thing to do our father. Cage gets his revenge with the infamous inverted DDT off the ladder to knock them both out. JOE GETS REVENGE WITH A BACK SENTON TO CRUSH CAGE AGAIN. Joe kills him with the Muscle Buster and has it won, but Abyss, Raven and Spike all get involved for some classic bullshit. Cage and Joe climb up and pull the title down, and Rhino shoves them both over. He hits Cage with the Gore, and Joe holds the title up, and i guess he wins,
**1/2

 

[BigVanDonnie]

2 seconds ago#52
NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels-24/9/06

TNA IMPACT
October 19th, 2006
Impact Zone

In the ring, Mike Tenay is there with a contract. He says TNA management has demanded Joe give the title back by the end of the night or he's removed from the roster.

Raven, Spike and Abyss fight down to the ring with plunda and bash each other brains and skulls in for a while, and it's good shit. Mike says Joe's not here yet and doesn't even know about earlier. SO WHY NOT DO IT WHEN HE GETS HERE, YOU ASSHOLES. The lights go out and Jake Roberts walks out looking higher and drunker than few humans have ever reached before. He stumbles around and weirdly taunts Abyss before bringing out a snake and running the big man off. Spike gets in the ring and yells at him, so Jake drops him with the DDT. 1986 Jake Roberts this is not, heartbreakingly. Jake gets the mic and says he's been a wrestler for 32 years, but TNA wants him to be the referee for Monsters Balls. He hates stripes, but he will teach these men about the light.

In the carpark, a limo pulls up and Kurt Angle gets out and tells JB this is very real.

Austin Starr is coming,

Match#1 Christian Cage vs Norman Smiley (Orlando Street Fight)
Mike says Cage had an open contract for this match and Norman answered. Fun 3 minutes of Cage beating Norm's face in with a chair. Conchairto ends it.
**

Post match, Cage tries to put him in a straight jacket, bur Sharkie saves, CC hits him with a helmet and tries to attack, but Rhino saves and runs him off.

In the carpark, EY has stolen JJ's jacket and hat and pretends to be Jeff. JB calls him out on it, and EY says his mum thought it would work. JB says he's facing Larry at BFG with both of jobs on the line. EY is very happy about this, and says he saw Joe backstage and he's waiting for someone to take the title from him.

In the lockeroom, Jay and Dutt have bald caps on making fun of Ki's voice and gimmick, so Ki runs on and beats the fuck out of both of them, and drags Jay to the ring for a match.

Match#2 Senshi vs Jay Lethal
AMAZING 2 minutes of Ki unloading a horror movie of a beating, and Jay fighting like hell from undearneath to have a chance. He misses the headubtt, so Ki drops him with the Combo and Crusher to win.
**1/2

Post match, Ki keeps beating him up until Sabin makes the save. They have another wonderful fight, and Ki lays him out with the Double Stomp.

It's time for the Kevin Nash press conference.



58 minutes in

in a pre-tape, BG James talks about his history with JJ being his friend and being there for him when he had nothing, and let him stay in his house because of the stupid things he did. There's a damn good reason for everything Jeff has done, and he won't get into it but he knows the man. He's a damn good man.

Match#3 America's Most Wanted & LAX vs AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels & The James Gang
BG clearly means he's a good man because he booked him in the main event. heh. Anyway, awesome shit to start as we get out classic monthly impact brawl with everyone taking some wild bumps and kicking each other asses. Daniels cuffs a random LAX member to the fence when he throws water on him. We come back from the break where Daniels is isolated and the heels kick his face in. Amazing watching the best team in company history teaming with the best current one. AJ's hot tag rocks as he gets uncorked on TV for the firs time in a long time, and whips ass. Storm kills him with a Superkick and has it won, but Ci pulls him off the pin because he wants it. They go nose to nose, and AJ kicks them into each other and rolls Harris up to to win.
**1/4

Post match, AMW argue again and Gail tries to keep the peace. Konnan and LAX get in their faces and shove Gail!!! GAIL SLAPS HIM. Konnan fakes backing off and sets LAX onto them. They kill our old villains with slapjacks, AND HERNANDEZ MURDERS GAILS WITH THE GROSSES BORDER TOSS EVER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

LAX cover the boys and Gail with their flags and pose over their bodies.

INCREDIBLE ANGLE.

Samoa Joe comes out to the ring where Mike and Hebner are waiting for him. Mike asks for his answer as the fans chant "keep the title". Joe rips the contract up and throws it at Mike. The lights go out and Kurt Angle's epic music hits and he's here.

JOE LAYS THE TITLE DOWN AND STARES ANGLE DOWN, AND KURT TAKES HIS JACKET OFF AND GOES NOSE TO NOSE WITH HIM. KURT HEADBUTTS HIM AND HITS THE ANGLE SLAM AND THE CROWD FUCKING LOSES IT. KURT LIFTS THE TITLE UP, BUT BEHIND HIM

JOE SPINS HIM AROUND AND KICKS HIM IN THE FACE AND GOES FOR THE CHOKE, BUT KURT DOUBLE LEGS HIM AND THEY FIGHT. JEFF JARRETT RUNS DOWN AND STEALS THE TITLE BACK. A TON OF BLACKSHIRTS AND REFS TRY TO DRAG KURT AND JOE APART AND THEY FINALLY MANAGE TO DO IT.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT,




To close this all timer, we get Chris Jericho singing Enemy for the hype video for BFG. Young Donnie thought this meant Jericho was coming in as well, but not to be.

 

[Chris]

Thank God Gail landed mostly in the middle of that hard ass ring

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett-18/6/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Senshi-22/6/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels-24/9/06

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY
OCTOBER 22, 2006
PYLMOUTH, MI
COMPUWARE SPORTS ARENA

One last incredible TNA hype video opens the show.

Kevin Nash joins commentary with a bowling trophy.

Match#1 Kevin Nash X Division Gauntlet Battle Royal for Bound for Glory
-Austin Starr makes his debut as #1
-#2-Sonjay Dutt
-Aries is wonderful in this role and kills it with a sick back and forth with Dutt
-#3 is Maverick Matt
-He adds nothing and needs to go away
-#4 is Jay Lethal
-"HAS HE GOT A CUP ON???" -Kevin Nash
-He rules a ton and has a sick fight with Aries
-#5 is A1
-Nash says he's here in the spirit of the division at its core
-He's awful, but Nash riffing is well worth it.
-#6 Zack Gowen
-Holy shit, thought he was dead
-Nash kills it with an amazing Johnny Ace impression "At least i got the right one legged wrestler"
-He takes some fine bumps for Aries
-#7 is Kazarian
-Yuck
-Shazarian throw Dutt out
-DW and Nash make spider monkey jokes
-#8-Sierelda
-Noooooooooooooooo
-She beats up Kaz hhahahahahahahaha
-Aries kicks her in the crotch, and A1 nails a sick lariat to get rid of her
-Shazarrian lariat A1 out
=#9 is Shark Boy
=Shell Yeah
-Wonderful Shark moments.
-#10 is Alex Shelley
-He brings new life to it and kill everyone, and the crowd adores the hometown boy
-#11 is D-Ray 3000
-AMAZING HE'S BACK
-HE REUNITES WITH SHARKY AND THEY HEADBUTT EVERYONE WITH THE FRO-RAM
-They toss maverick out
-#12 is Johnny Devine
-He superplexes Gowen out
-The crowd is going nuts for Shelley
-#13 is Elix Skipper
-He breaks out some classic stuff for the first time in months and months. and it's a blast
-#14 Short Sleeve Sampson
-He's a little person wrestler
-Shelley dropkicks Sharky and 3000 out when they're on the top rope
-#15 Norman Smiley
-He does the big wiggle along with Sampson to Aries and Devine
-Shelley throws Sampson out
-#16 is Petey Willams
-He's the last man in
-Slick Johnson randomly gets in and shoves Skipper out
-Petey tosses him right after
-Petey kills Jay with the CD and tries to throw him out, but Shelley sneaks up and pushes him over
-Aries and Shelley work together and throw Devine out.
-Aries backdrops Shelley out
-BOOOOOOOOO
-Aries and Jay will now have a singles match
-Short and awesome sprint with both dudes going for broke.
-Aries hits the Brainbuster to win
PRO WRESTLING

Post match, Nash gets in the ring as Shelley begs him not to do it, but Nash ignores him. He shakes Aries hand and gives him the trophy. Shelley is pissed and sad.

Recap of LAX attacking AMW.

In the back, JB is with AMW. He says Gail is not here tonight. Harris says no dispersant to the other teams but they're the best. They will not look past what LAX did to Gail, and they will not let them get away with it. He smashes his bottle as he screams he doesn't understand how they call themselves men. Storm says he wouldn't let them in his country, and they're the new border patrol. Tag titles or not, they're going to kick the dog snot out of them. Sorry, bout your damn luck. Babyface AMW are incredible.

Match#2 America's Most Wanted vs The Naturals vs Team 3D vs The James Gang
Only 7 minutes as Russo's nonsense hits in a good way when AMW are the only good team in this, and can't be asked to carry these sacks of shit for any longer. AMW break out some classic babyface work with tons of fire and awesome double teams like a tower of doom suplex on Douglas. The others don't offer much at all, and really shine light on how bad the division is outside of the title feud. 3D beat a Nat with the 3D to win.
*3/4

Post match, Shane yells at them for a whiie.

In the back, a very drunk Jake talks about touching snakes and having them grow larger than life in your hands. He rambles a ton about not being a ref and being the last man standing

Hype for Monsters Ball.

Match#3 Samoa Joe vs Abyss vs Raven vs Brother Runt (Monsters Ball-Special Guest Referee-Jake Roberts)
Again, a criminal waste of Samoa Joe in a million well documented ways, but none more than the angle they just fucking ran. Anyway, this is 11 minutes of fun stuff in between Jake stumbling around in sad fashion. Joe refuses to use any plunda to start and instead just bashes everyone with his amazing offence, and it's such a cool thing for him to do. He fights Raven on the stage, and Raven kicks him off onto a table. Spike and Abyss climb up on the set, AND ABYSS CHOKESLAMS HIM OFF AND SENDS SPIKE THROUGH THE STAGE. FUCK YEAH. Raven attacks the hurt Joe on the floor and throws him through another table. Abyss carries Runt's dead body back into the ring. Raven saves and they go back to beating the shit out of each other, and Joe joins back in and really helps matters by being the best in the world for another 6 months and change. Tacks are bought in, AND JOE HITS A RUNNING SENTON TO SEND ABYSS INTO THEM FACE FIRST. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Jake takes Raven out with the DDT, and Joe hits the Muscle Buster to win.
**3/4

Post match, Jake dumps the snake on Raven.

In the back, EY is freaking out and hyperventilating into a bag. JB gives him a pep talk as best he can. Larry walks on and calls him a loser who can't win and he already has him beaten.

Hype for Larry/EY

Match#4 Eric Young vs Larry Zbyszko (Loser Gets Fired)

3 minutes of incredible Larry stalling and stooging as the crowd gets hotter and hotter for EY to kill him dead. Larry eye pokes the ref and gets out some brass knuckles, but EY low blows him and gets them and KO's him to win.
DON'T FIRE ERIC

Jim Cornette comes out with a horse voice as he's sick as a dog. He thanks all the fans for being here and whatnot. He talks about Joe and Kurt having problems and this isn't the place to settle it (NO IT FUCKING IS) but he says the time will come. He declares that Joe will be fired if he gets involved in the main event. Kurt Angle comes out looking super hyped and happy, and it's a nice thing to see given what he's been through, and what's about to happen. He praises TNA and the fans for being amazing. He says he will call the main event down the middle because that's his job, but he doesn't need a buffer from Joe. See, if someone headbutted him and punked his ass out, he would have done the same. JOE RUNS RIGHT DOWN AND THEY HAVE ANOTHER SICK BRAWL. They get pulled apart a few times as they both break free and beat the shit out of each other.

Hype for Senshi/Sabin.

Match#5 Senshi (c) vs Chris Sabin (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Super sick mat work again to start as they fight for every inch of control, and it's sooooo good. Sabin finally has enough of Ki being a bullt, and fires back with strikes of his own and beats the fuck out of his leg in revenge, and Ki goes nuts in revenge and lays in the kicks even harder as a result and takes over. Ki batters the piss out of him and works the neck by grinding him down, and Sabin's selling is wonderful throughout and it's so nice to see him get away from the Jackass stuff and just wrestle again. Ki's cutoffs are all gross and mean as you'd expect, and Sabin's attempts get more and more fired up until he finally drops him with an amazing springboard dropkick right to the face. He unloads hell on him, and Ki bumps his ass off. Sabin breaks out the tope to send him into the rail to mess up Ki's ribs. They move into the finishing run and escalate it amazingly well as each man gets closer and closer, and the other has to break out something new to stop it. KI USES THE FUCKING ONE LINER AND MURDERS SABIN WITH THE DOUBLE STOMP WHEN HE LANDS, AND SABIN SOMEHOW KICKS OUT. Sabin refuses to die and fires back with a gross kick. He nails the Shock, but Ki kicks out of it. They fight on top and Ki boots the fuck out of him and nails the John Woo to further hurt him. He hits the Double Stomp, but hurts his leg and is slow on the pin and Sabin gets his foot on the ropes. Ki locks in the Dragon Sleeper and nearly has it, BUT SABIN REVERSES INTO A CRADLE AND GETS THE 3 TO WIN THE TITLE, FUCK YEAH HAIL SABIN.
***1/4

Post match, Lehtal, Dutt and Lynn all celebrate with him.

In the back, Christian is with JB. Cage talks about Rhino speaking about how tough his life was growing up here, and having the locals putting him over as one them. Well, where he's from that makes you a scumbag bum loser. Hell, if he was packing bags he would be better than these morons in the crowd. The concussion will be nothing compared to what he's about to do to him. He won't be invited back to Rhino's house, and that's fine because his aunt's cooking SUCKED.

Hype for Rhino/Cage.

Match#6 Christian Cage vs Rhino (8 Mile Street Fight)
-The match starts off on the streets in amazing choice.
-They have a parking lot brawl and hurl each other onto cars!
-They fight into the back near a loading dock and use boxes and pallets to kill each other with.
-They fight on a Zamboni and Rhino drives it with Cage on the hood back into the arena, and Rhino punches him off and Cage takes a nasty spill to the concrete
-They fight on the ramp and use a prop lamp to hurt each other
-Rhino breaks out more plunda
-He goes for the Gore, but Cage brains him with a gross chair shot to further work on the concussion.
-They brawl into the crowd and it's rad again thanks to these two doing new and cool shit and not being boring assholes like Jarrett
-Back in the ring they fight more, and Cage uses an 8 mile road sign to brain him and bust him open, and Cage goes wild on the cut with punches.
-He hits the Unprettier, but Rhino kicks out of it.
-Cage snaps and uses a ladder to crack him in the face again.
-He gets the straightjacket on him and now Rhino is fucked
-Cage misses the conchairto and Rhino fights him with no hands before the ref lets him out
-RHINO USES THE FUCKING RHINO DRIVER TO KILL CAGE THROUGH A TABLE. CAGE SOMEHOW GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES
-Rhino goes for the Gore, but Cage sidesteps him and sends him through it
-Christian hits the unprettier on a broken table, but Rhino kicks out
-Cage snaps again and buries him under a ton of plunda and bashes them with a dozen chair shots and finally pins him
***


In the back, JB is with LAX. Konnan says it takes a nation of millions to hold them back, but no longer. He says they're tired of the fences and borders, and they're going to bring the violence to a new level in the cage like TNA wants. He brings up AMW and calls Gail Kim an oriental slut, and if they keep talking about the USA, they'll show them it's all about the Latino Nation. Homicide then chimes in with a BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBDAT.

Hype for the tag title match.

Match#7 AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (c) vs LAX w/Konnan (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships-Six Sides of Steel)
The champs rush them for another amazing brawl with the cage now being added in for grimey bumps, and killer spots. Sadly, TNA makes them work legal tag rules in a fucking cage match, and i can't even begin to tell you how much i hate it. Anyway, the opening 5 or so are all AJ/Daniels kicking ass until AJ misses a splash and kisses the steel. Hernandez throws him face first into it again to bust him open, and LAX isolate Daniels now. Gross beating from the boys as they use the cage to maul him, and then use cool double teams on top of it. NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, CI GETS OUT THE FORK AND STABS DANIELS OVER AND OVER IN THE MOUTH AND HEAD. HOLY CHRIST. Hernandez really shows off with wild power spots like a powerbomb into the cage and then into the mat with full force. Daniels manages to hiptoss Ci off the top of the ropes and tag in AJ, and our hero goes batshit on LAX as only he can. Daniels gets back in and they beat the fuck out of them with a ton of anger and violence, and LAX bump their asses off for every moment of it. Daniels gets the fork and stabs Ci in the face with it, AND AJ GETS IT AND DRIVES IT INTO CI'S HEAD AND THE CAMERA GETS AN AMAZING SHOT OF IT.

AJ climbs up the top and Ci follows him up to cut him off, but Daniels and Hernandez join in. Hernandez powerbombs Ci and Daniels off, AND TURNS AROUND INTO AJ DIVING OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE IN ANOTHER ALL TIME AJ MOMENT. Ci saves on the pin and everyone is dead and hurt, and they break out finishers to cripple each other some more. Hernandez climbs up and tries a fucking splash, but Styles moves and the big man EATS the mat. Konnan brings in a coathanger and gives it to Daniels to strangle him dead, and Konnan grabs the other end to hold him in place. AJ is all alone and he does his best to fight them, BUT HERNANDEZ KILLS HIM WITH A LARIAT WHEN HE TRIES THE CLASH, AND CI PUTS HIM IN THE GRINGO KILLER AND BENDS AJ'S HEAD AND NECK IN HALF AND LAX WIN THE TITLES BACK.
****1/2

Another complete masterpiece, and the perfect way to end the feud.

Awesome hype video for JJ/Sting

Match#8 Jeff Jarrett (c) vs Sting (NWA Worlds Heavyweight Championship-Title vs Career-Special Enforcer; Kurt Angle)
Sting has brand new gear of wolfpac and surfer Sting combined and it rules. JJ finally, finally cuts the bullshit and wrestles Sting right from the start with mat work and arm drags, and it's smooth and awesome, and a sad reminder of the last 3 plus years of bullshit he's put on when he didn't need to. Sting fires back and does his thing, but JJ is not thrown off and keeps wrestling him and it really fucks with Sting's head as this is the last thing he expect. Sting says fuck it and goes to old school power moves and finally gets something going. Kurt gets in both mens faces at points, but mostly keeps the peace. JJ and Sting fight on the outside as Kurt stops them from using a chair. Sting shoves JJ into Kurt and knocks Angle out cold as his had smacks off the ramp. JJ and Sting get back in and keep having a very fun back and forth with neither man being able to control for long. They do a double down and the ref nearly gets to 10, but Kurt gets in and kills him with an Angle Slam and somehow becomes the ref????? Russo, there you are, you fucking rat. Fuck it. The good match keeps happening and both men drop some classic bombs like the tombstone and figure four, and it's all good shit. JJ steals the Ankle Lock (so maybe Kurt should worry about what else he might steal) but Sting reverses it and sends JJ to the floor. Sting's ankle selling rocks a ton, and he tries to use the bat but Kurt steals it. JJ hits Sting with the guitar, AND STING NO SELLS AND IT DROPS HIM AND LOCKS IN THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK AND JEFF FINALLY TAPS AND IT'S OVER.
**3/4

Sting celebrates with the title as Jeff is in the background looking shocked.

This is the final reign of Jeff Jarrett after some of the worst and most hideous runs of our lifetime, I won't memorialise as i've said enough since 2002 about how it was 99.9% awful, but i am SO happy it's done. Also, he finally goes away as a full time wrestler for the next 2.5 years only making occasional appearances, and it's for the absolute best for everyone. Peace out Slapnuts.

Awesome show as well, and i would assume the last great one for a very long time...