Donnie watches TNA 2006

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christoper Daniels-12/3/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
March 25th, 2006
Impact Zone

TONIGHT; TEAM 3D VS TEAM CANADA IN SIX SIDES OF STEEL. STING SPEAKS.

In the ring, Mike hypes up Lockdown where every match takes place in a cage. He brings out a very angry and grumpy Samoa Joe. He's shaking and looks like he wants to outright murder someone as Mike says this will be the first time he's ever been in the cage. Joe says Larry was right about this, he is the greatest wrestler in the industry right now. He has made a living of letting his actions speak louder than his words, and he wants to know who's head he needs to cave in to get what he wants. THE VIDEO PLAYS AND IT'S SABU. HOLY FUCKING CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME. JOE LOCKS HIS JAW AND STARES DOWN THE VIDEO LOOKING READY FOR THE WAR OF A LIFETIME.

In the back, Team 3D love America and don't care for Canadians. Xenophobic assholes.

Match#1 Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt vs The Diamonds in the Rough
Good showcase for Team TNA/USA. DIR are fine jobbers, or i should say DY is and can make anyone look fantastic. He does just that, and the boys are amazing as always. Jay is the standout for the faces as he's stupidly smooth and going nuts whenever he gets a chance, and it's super endearing. Cradle Shock ends it
**1/2

In the back, D'Amore is very upset about this being a cage match and blames Larry for it. He says this is personal between him and Larry, and he wants to put them in with these morons and monsters. Larry walks on and says this isn't personal, it's about ratings. D'Amore says they'll be fine upstanding men, and then they're going to sort this out after. Slick Johnson walks on and asks to be the ref, but Larry refuses. They trade bald jokes for a while.

The Sting interview is up now. He says Final Resolution was the perfect ending to his career after how it ended 5 years ago. He was in that ring and the smell and feel meant more than he could put into words for him, and he didn't want to taint it. However, Jeff did just that by invading his private life and putting his family on camera for the world to see. They stepped over the line and violated him and he can't put into words how it feels. How would Jeff feel if that happened to him being mocked and being made fun of. He came back with a mission to get back at Jeff, but then he got one-upped. Jeff is a cancer that needs to be removed and he's asked TNA to reinstate him right now. He wants a special match and he was licking his wounds and pondering on times past when he wanted to get revenge, he thought about WARGAMES. Six sides of steel where no one can run or hide, and if he has his way there will be a roof on it with weapons hanging from it. Jeff must take this match, or he has to walk away from wrestling. Jeff can get his army, and he'll get his. He tells Mike to tell Jeff that Steve Borden isn't coming to Lockdown, Sting is. Fantastic work.

JJ and Steiner walk out and come to the booth and yell at Mike and DW for being Sting's mouthpieces. The Naturals come out for their match with these two, but they get jumped from behind and get killed by Steiner suplexes and awesome Jarrett punches. SCOTTY SMASHES A CHAIR OVER ANDY'S HEAD, AND HE HITS HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN RIGHT IN THE SKULL. HE LOCKS HIM IN THE RECLINER AND SCREAMS FOR STING TO COME BACK BECAUSE HE'S NOT DONE WITH HIM. This fucking rules.

Coming back, Andy is placed on a stretcher and taken away by EMT's.

In the back, JB is with LAX. Konnan says this is how they run things where they smash and bash you, and then give you walking papers. They gave him his walking papers after losing to Shark Boy and Bob Armstrong. JB says Konnan ran from Bob, and K-Dawg says he pulled a knife on him and he needs to watch the tape. AMAZING. James Gang and Bob walk on, so LAX walk away. Bob says back in the day they used to settle things with arm wrestling, and he wants to challenge Konnan to a contest to see who can put each other down. Yeah, lets not do that.

Hype for the main event.

Match#2 Team 3D vs Bobby Roode & Eric Young w/Team Canada(Six Sides of Steel)
Within a minute both of the kids are eating the cage and taking wild bumps for these old dickheads. Both of their heads are ripped open with some nasty gushers, and they take crazy bumps on top of for these two. 3D's actual work is bad and lazy and downright horrible, but TC are so good that you can hardly tell because they're incredible. EY's selling is immense as well. TC take over and work super hard to get these fucks to bump and sell, and bless them for at least trying when 3D don't care. 3D make a lame comeback and beat EY with the 3D because of course they fucking did. The day these assholes lose clean will be the day i die.
**3/4

Post match, AMW jump in the cage along with the rest of TC, and they lay waste to these shitheads. YEAH KILL EM DEAD. AMW lock the door and beat up Sabin Dutt and Lethal when they try to help. Petey puts Bubba through a table with a splash, and then send him through another one head first. They focus on D-Von and bust him open, and then they bury these assholes underneath the Canadian Flag. EY is dead and can't even stand, which is the coolest part of all of this terrible feud,

PAPARAZZI PRODUCTION PRESENTS A DESPERATELY ALONE HOUSEWIFE

Alex and Mitchell are driving alongside a house as James says she's all alone. They sneak up on the house we see a young lady inside called Denise. Alex says not to worry as he's done this before. OH NO. James commentates her doing things and says she better get used to it as she's going to be feeding CHRISTIAN CAGE through a straw when Abyss gets done with him. They hope she gets into the shower as it cuts away, We pick it back up where they have followed her into a supermarket and a tanning salon. They walk in and confront her and tell her not to be scared, but they ask if she wonders if it strikes her as odd that someone would leave her alone and vulnerable. He stops her from calling the cops, and tells her to tell her husband they'll see him soon.

One of the most pure evil and shithead things ever. PRO FUCKING WRESTLING.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christoper Daniels-12/3/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
April 1st, 2006
Impact Zone

D'Amore, Roode & EY are in the ring to start the show singing the anthem. 3D run in attack them from behind like real cowards would do. The kids once again bump like crazy for them, and EY is a true and proper crazy bastard dying over and over for D-Von. They go tor put them through tables, but the rest of TC run down and kick the crap out of them and leave them laying. D-Von gets put through a table after a sick elbow drop from EY. They bury them under the flags again as D'Amore screams about how much America sucks and burying two of their own. God Bless Canada.

They now throw it to the intro in a really cool bit.

Tonight; AMW vs James Gang. Sting is here. 4 way #1 contenders match for the X-Division title. Jeff Jarrett announces his team for Lockdown. DW keeps screaming that Sting is here.

In the back, Planet Jarrett are in full with JB. Jeff runs down Sting getting to dictate to TNA and him all the things he wanted, and that's fine with him. He's going to dictate an 8 man war with himself, AMW and Scotty Steiner as his team. God yes. Before this night is over, he and Sting face to face. Scotty says he hasn't heard from TNA management yet, and the longer he waits the more people are going to get hurt.

Before the tag match, Gail tries to tip beer over Jackie, but Storm snatches the bottle away to save his beer. AMAZING.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted (c) w/Gail Kim & Jackie vs The James Gang (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Not sure how these goofs lucked into a title shot when they haven't won a singles tag match in months, but TNA is going to TNA sometimes. AMW do their thing and bump wild for the faces, and it's another great moment from the most underrated team of all time, imo. BG is isolated after they use the WGTT leapfrog spot, and they beat his stupid face for a little while before Jackie trips Harris from the outside to turn the tide. Kip has a crappy hot tag before the nonsense hits as the ladies yell at each other again, and Kip has it won off a famasser. Konnan sneaks in and smashes a sllapjack over Kip's head, and Storm rolls on top to steal it.
*3/4

Post match, Bob and Kip check on BG and calls for Konnan to get in fight, but he refuses. Mike says the arm wrestling contest is happening next week.

Recap of Alex and Mitchell stalking Cage's wife last week.

Abyss & Mitchell make their way out, and Mike says next week he's facing AJ in a rematch of last years Lockdown classic. JB is very angry at them for their disgusting act of breaching Christian's family's privacy, and he wants to know what he has to say for himself. James says mission accomplished. Cage has claimed the NWA title was his life's dream, yet once he got it he ran off to make movies and not defend it against Abyss. He took a vowel to protect his wife, but he left her alone and that lead to what happened last week and the loss of her dignity. Cage didn't take them seriously, and Abyss doesn't look like a man who cracks jokes and waxes poetic, and he does he look like a liar to you. Last week should have taught him his lesson, but they haven't heard from him all week. They're going to further this public humiliation by presenting part 2 of their cinematic masterpiece.

We go to Alex in his car filming Christian's house in the daylight this time. He says this has been excellent so far as it's all hands on footage. Christian walks out and spots him, and Alex says it's not what it looks like. Cage tackles him and says not to come near his wife or he'll put him in the ground. Abyss comes out of nowhere and jumps him and beats the holy hell out of him. He throws him into a wall and they go inside the house as Alex shouts "HONEY, I'M HOME" They have a fantastic brawl where Cage tries his best, but Abyss is too much and just nukes him. Mitchell screams the peeps aren't doing anything for him. They fight out near the pool and Abyss kicks him into it, AND HE TRIES TO DROWN HIM AS MITCHELL SHOUTS TO GIVE HIM A SWIMMING LESSON. ABYSS SCREAMS, BUT JAMES TELLS HIM TO STOP BECAUSE HE CAN'T WIN THE TITLE FROM A DEAD MAN. AMAZING. Abyss lets him up, and James stands over his body and tells him they will do anything to get the title, but what is he prepared to do. A graphic pops up asking if this will he continued on the 23rd.

Back in the Zone, Mitchell walks over to the booth and says the Alex wins the Oscar for best director. He told everyone what to expect and this will only get worse if they don't get what they want. DW asks how many felonies did they commit there as that was attempted murder, and he walks away from the booth. What a thing.




Hype for Sabu's return.

Christopher Daniels joins commentary.

Match#2 Samoa Joe vs Alex Shelley vs Sonjay Dutt vs Chris Sabin (#1 Contenders Match)
Now that's a match. Sadly only 4 minutes as this episode is very angle heavy and Lockdown build, but it's still really rad no matter how short it is. Alex and Joe work together as much as someone can work with Joe at this point, and it's worked as a tag match for a little bit, and it's a lot of fun and i want to see it for real. We come back from break where Sonjay is getting his head kicked in, and Shelley blind tags in, AND JOE KICKS HIM IN THE ASS OUT OF ANGER. AMAZING. Sabin finally gets in and fights Shelley again. Joe rushes in and throws MCMG out and quickly kills Sonjay with the Muscle Buster to win and face Daniels on the 13th.
**1/2

JOE RUNS OVER TO THE BOOTH AND DANIELS SLAPS HIM! THEY HAVE AN AMAZING BRAWL UNTIL BLACKSHIRTS BREAK IT UP. I LOVE THIS FEUD SO MUCH.

In the back, Planet Jarrett walk in force and say they're calling Sting out.

Recap of the Sting/JJ feud.

Planet Jarrett make their way out, and again look like the coolest group in wrestling. Fuck Evolution, these are our bastard Four Horseman. Jeff says they're tired of waiting for Sting and Lockdown, so lets get this on tonight with no mindgames. The lights go out, and we find Rhino and the James Gang in the crowd. Rhino says the mindgames have only just begun, Jeff says 3 men and not a single brain between them as they're outnumbered. Truth's voice now rings out, and we find him, Sharky and the Nats on the other side of the building. Truth says he's speaking on behalf of everyone, they've had enough of them. He sings his song, and Jeff tells him to cut the rap concert. Scotty is going to kick his teeth down his throat. AJ now pops up on the balcony with Team TNA. He says he;'s getting his war tonight. THE LIGHTS GO OUT AND STING IS IN THE RING. HE TAKES AMW AND SCOTTY OUT WITH THE BAT. He hits Roode and scares EY off. The numbers get too much and they attack him, but all the faces rush the ring and save him as DW shouts he wanted a war and now he's got one. Mike says next week Sting speaks like in the Zone and we will find out whose on his team.

Fantastic episode.

 

[Chairman Jay]

Peak TNA from 2006-2008 Absolutely fantastic wrestling. Hope you Keep Enjoying @BigVanDonnie some great feuds happen during this time period. Wait till Kurt V Joe V AJ happens . Some of the best wrestling I've ever had the pleasure to watch.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christoper Daniels-12/3/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
April 8th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight. AJ vs Abyss. Sting speaks. Team TNA qualifiers

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Abyss w/James Mitchell
TNA opening every show with the first promoted match is cool, but mix it up every once and a while. Hell yeah for this though. AJ again has no fear for this big son of a bitch as he runs right to him and fights him, and it's the best stuff as always as no one gets the best out of Abyss like he does. Abyss finally swats him down and goes to work with a great monster control seg that wreaks AJ, and his selling and bumps are amazing. He plucks him out of the air and smashes him down face first, and it's such a brutal and cool looking thing to do. AJ's comeback rocks as he drops the big man with some bombs, and they switch into a fun back and forth for a little while. Mitchell hits AJ with his cane and the big man goes for the kill with the bag of tacks. CHRISTIAN PULLS UP IN THE BACK AND GETS OUT WITH AN IRON BAR. HE RUNS INTO THE RING AND HITS ABYSS FOR THE DQ.
**3/4

He swings at his head, but Abyss ducks and gets free. Cage chases after him, but blackshirts get in his way. Cage fights them off, but there are too many and he can't get past them. Christian walks back to the ring with a mic, and says he accepts the match at Lockdown. Abyss, he wants to know after what he did to his wife and him, is he prepared to DIE? Because he is.

In the back, Team 3D are with JB. It's made offical that they will be facing Team Canada in an Anthem Match??? Uhh, the fuck is that? Bubba makes fun of JB for being a loser, and says to never put that flag over him again. He wants to buried under the American flag not a second rate country with pansies in it. They will not survive the cage when they capture the flag. Ohhh, so it's a flag match. Just call it that then, you goons. Bubba does the pledge, but he's not Sarge, so fuck him.

It's time for the Arm Wrestling contest. Bob is insane shape for a 66 year old dude, and full credit to him for working hard. The ref kicks all the seconds out of the ring to make it fair as Ci has the slapjack in hand, so he has no choice. K-Dawg keeps refusing to engage and stalls for time. They finally lock up and the old man kicks his ass with ease, BUT A GIANT MAN SHOWS UP AND HITS BOB WITH A SLAPJACK. MIKE SAYS HIS NAME IS HERNANDEZ. FUCK YEAH, SUPER MEX IS HERE AND LAX CAN FINALLY LIVE. Anyway, Konnan hits him again and leaves with his new friend.

In the back, Larry hypes up the world X-Cup. He says Daniels will be facing Jushin Thunder Liger at Lockdown!!!!!! Slick walks in and says the ref dropped the ball just then, and he wants to ref the X-Division match. Larry refuses, so Slick says they'll wait to here what the new guy TNA is bringing in has to say. Oh no, don't tell me.

The Diamonds in the Rough vs Shark Boy & Norman Smiley is set to happen, but Planet Jarrett come down to the ring and kill the faces. Jeff gets on the call and says this is Sting's fault and on his head after he came back. They're going to destroy him at Lockdown in the match Sting demanded. Scotty murders Norman in amazing form with suplexes over an dover, and he kills him with a chair shot to the shoulder. He locks in the Recliner and chokes him out as Jeff says he's toast like Andy Douglas.

Match#2 Alex Shelley vs Roderick Strong vs Chase Stevens (Team TNA Qualifier)
Roddy is alive and back in the most obvious gimmie match possible. Fun sprint for 5 minutes with GenNext being awesome as always and getting time to work together and use Chase a punching bag. Lots of cool double teams before it breaks down and everyone fights for the spot. Shelley beats Roddy with the Sliced Bread#2
**1/4

Sting comes out and says he loves wrestling and the fans and TNA, and that's why he came back. He talks about Jeff crossing the line and making him bitter, so he had to come back and goozle Jeff's throat. Getting attacked let his blood loose and he felt it again, so he got his special match to get his revenge on Jeff in a match where he can't run or hide. He says Jeff is stupid for saying whose on his team, as he's not telling on who is on side until next week. Next week he wants to face JJ in the main event of the show. He says he'll take anyone out that Jeff sends at him and chop their feet off, and then rip Jeff's heart out.

JJ and his army come out now and try to get in, but all the faces come out and scare them off. WHO WILL STING CHOOSE?????

 

[BigVanDonnie]

Peak TNA from 2006-2008 Absolutely fantastic wrestling. Hope you Keep Enjoying @BigVanDonnie some great feuds happen during this time period. Wait till Kurt V Joe V AJ happens . Some of the best wrestling I've ever had the pleasure to watch.

Thank you so much for reading. I can't wait to get to that period and beyond as it;'s been years and years since i've seen it. So, lets all enjoy it together.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christoper Daniels-12/3/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
April 13th, 2006
Impact Zone

Match#1 Christopher Daniels (c) vs Samoa Joe (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Ok, so this is actually JIP after about 4 minutes, but TNA released the start of the match on Youtube back in the day, and i was finally able to find it after years of looking, so lets do it. Joe turns it right into a fight, and it's amazing again with both dudes showing all the hate in the world and throwing super stiff and means stuff at each other as they should be. Daniels uses a massive shoulder tackle to floor the big man and send him to the floor, and Joe is pissed and slowly gets back in and unloads hell on him with a barrage of insane shots. Daniels does his best to ground him to stand a chance, but Joe goes on the attack and beats him worse and worse. We lose a little between the video ending to the show start as DANIELS IS A BLOODY MESS, AND JOE RUNS AT HIM AND KICKS HIS FACE INTO THE RAIL AGAIN. We see the replay that Daniels was doing well, but Joe slammed his head into the post to bust him open, and then uses the Ole kick to make it worse. Joe targets the cut and is a complete savage about it with kicks and bites on it, and makes the cut even grosser and ugly to look at. Tenay says Liger can't make Lockdown as he doesn't want to be in a cage, but team Japan is coming. JOE SQUEEZES THE CUT AND WE GET A CLOSE UP OF DANIELS HEAD BEING SQUASHED TOGETHER. GODDAMN. Joe stays on him with knees and chops, and poor Daniels is dead and his selling is amazing as hell. Joe cuts him off with a running knee that folds him backwards in a sick bump. Joe goes crazy with punches in the corner sending Daniels into a heap over the ropes, and the camera zooms in on his face and it's gnarly. Joe's body is covered in his blood, and he doesn't back off at all as he beats him even worse, and Daniels is dead. Chris finally mounts a comeback for 20 seconds, but Joe snatches him with the Uranage and DRILLS him down to the mat. Joe locks in the full body crab and then the STFJOE and punches at the cut as he does it, just to do it. Chris comes back to life again and does even better this time as he hits him over and over and finally knocks him on his ass with a flying lariat. He hits a Hurrcianrana off the top for a super close near fall. Joe won't die and peppers in shots and nails the snap Powerslam for a close call of his own. They stay on each other and get into a slap war, DANIELS MOVES AHEAD, SO JOE KICKS HIM IN THE GUTS, BUT DANIELS HITS THE STO AND NAILS THE BME, BUT JOE FUCKING KICKS OUT. OH NO. THEY FIGHT ON TOP, AND JOE PUTS HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS AND KILLS HIM WITH A GODDAMN SUPER ISLAND DRIVER TO WIN THE TITLE BACK. MY GOD
****1/2



Post match, Sabu's music plays as Tenay screams that Joe must now defend his title against him at Lockdown.

In the back, JB hypes up Sting's return match on TV, and Sting walks on and lets out a massive woo. He loves how that sounds and he wants to be in the middle of it. He's heard Jeff's being in the bathroom as he's nerved out of his mind. He'll talk about his team later as it's Showtime, folks.

We go to a pre-tape with Christian. He speaks about knowing he would have to give up a lot being in the public eye, and he felt hopeless and mad when his wife went through that. He knows being champion means a lot of people are out to get him, but his wife never signed up for any of this. He can't describe the feelings and emotions he's going through right now after nearly being killed and wondering if it's worth it. This isn't a title match, it's personal and he's never wanted to beat anyone as bad as he wants to beat Abyss at Lockdown.

Match#2 America's Most Wanted w/Gail Kim & Jackie vs Team 3D (Street Fight)
Everyone has come dressed as they are, but in Bubba's case he always looks like this. They have a fun fight to start before D-Von is isolated as this one of those awful matches where they work legal rules in a street fight. Hate it so much, but not as much as when they do it in a cage match. It thankfully turns into another wild brawl that's much better as 3D try and give a shit, and AMW are more than game to hit them as hard as they can and hopefully kill them off for good. Great punches from everyone and Storm bleeds as well to add something more, so i'm happy with it. Some plunda gets used on Bubba's stupid face, and he actually takes an honest to God bump. Team Canada get involved and lay these morons out again, and the ref is attacked so it's a DQ in a street fight.
**1/4

Post match, they try to put them through tables again, but SPIKE DUDLEY makes his debut and takes Petey out with an Acid Drop. A1 is 3D through a table. He's not named, so DW is forced to say "the other member" and Mike calls him the runt of the family. Oh no, don't tell me.

Recap of the Sting/JJ feud,

In the back, JJ says he's never backed down and always solved his own problems. He's going to teach Sting that he shouldn't have come back. Sting was right, it's Showtime. He forces EY to take his place and fight Sting for him. EY wants none of it, but everyone chants his name and he's got no choice.

Match#3 Sting vs Eric Young w/Scott D'Amore
EY is scared to death, so D'Amore slaps him and makes him fight. Shelley walks out film this as he didn't listen to Sting's advice. Sting beats the hell out of EY has only he can, and it's such a cool thing to watch and get to write about because Sting rules. He beats up Alex as well, but he misses a Splash and hits the rail to hurt his ribs. EY has a short but super fun control seg on Sting with killer basics, and Sting's selling rocks. Stinger fights back and cleans house on everyone and beats EY with the Deathdrop.
**1/2

Post match, Shelley attacks him. Sting fights him off and locks in the Deathlock to make him pay for his sins. JJ runs out and fights Sting. Classic great stuff between them, and Sting breaks the guitar with his bat. AMW and Scotty run in and beat him up, but AJ, Rhino and Truth run down with bats and run them off. Jeff is scared to death, and Sting gets the mic and tells the kids to go back to their mum and dad. He's got his team and they'll see them at Lockdown. FUCK YEAH THAT'S GOING TO ROCK.

Jesus Christ, that was a tremendous episode of wrestling TV.

 

[Chairman Jay]

For me it was one of three great time periods of wrestling. Enjoy man.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-13/4/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
April 20th, 2006
Impact Zone

Tonight; AMW & Jarrett vs All 3 members of Team 3D

Match#1 Team Canada w/Scott D'Amore vs Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal & Alex Shelley
DW immediately asks how Shelley can be a real teammate when he's so close with Pnaet Jarrett. Alex waves at TC to start, but that's just good sportsmanship. Fun opening with the great wrestlers getting the chance to shine, and that doofus A1 is mostly kept away. Jerry Lynn has a cut in saying he was a proud captain of Team USA once, and the next man to take the role is Chris Sabin. Alex refuses to fight TC because he's a nice man, and his team gets mad at him. Tenay says he as given a note that Daniels will face a mystery man at Lockdown. Sonjay us isolated after A1 drops him on the ropes, and TC's control is super solid as hell like always thanks to the 3 good wrestlers doing the world. Sonjay gets out of harms way and tags in Shelley! The faces drop off the apron and make him fight, and he gets his ass handed to him and we get a sick array of bumps. Jay tags in and goes on a run before it all turns crazy and everyone fights as they tend to. SHELLEY HITS JAY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND A1 BEATS HIM WITH A PUMPHANDLE. SON OF A BITCH
**3/4

Hype for Joe/Sabu. This is the best build possible without having them kill each other every week.

Match#2 AJ Styles, Rhino & Ron Killings vs The Diamonds in the Rough
Awesome showcase for Sting's Squadron against these rubes. Big dives, awesome offence and a little bit of selling. All it needs, and should be. AJ is isolated and we get some killer exchanges between him and the good members, and it's a blast. Rhino's hot tag is whatever, but it thankfully doesn't last long before things break down. Truth beats Skipper with the Axe-Kick
**1/2

In the back, Larry tries to hype the PPV, but Slick walks in. Larry kisses up and offers him the head ref's spot, but he says the new guy will give him a clean slate. He will say he heard that RAVEN is coming back, and Larry freaks out. They make bald jokes again, and it's bad.

Christian makes his way out to the ring and shouts out the Peep Zone. He says Abyss has made this more than personal after what he's done, and it's pissed him off and made him want to beat him worse than anyone else before. He knows he's not 6ft8 and 350 pounds, but he's the world champion who will die in the ring for the title. He saw fear when he hit him with the tireiron, and he's scared of the fact that Christian isn't afraid of him. Mitchell pops up on the screen and tells him to stop the swaddle. He says they knew if they pushed him far enough he would his focus and control and become an ex champion. He promises that Abyss is going to walk out as champion. Abyss slides in from behind and attacks Cage. Christian fights back and has a great run of offence, but Abyss catches him with the BHS. He picks up his chain and strangles Cage with it!!! Blackshirts finally pull him free as Cage is dead. Abyss attacks some blackshirts to close it out.

Match#3 America's Most Wanted & Jeff Jarrett w/Gail Kim & Jackie vs Team 3D & Brother Runt.
Hideous name change. Brother Spike was right there, you dopes. He dies huge right away for JJ, and it's the best stuff he's done since 2003ish. JJ beats the hell out of him, but Runt fights back and has a sweet run of offence that JJ sells huge for. We come back from the break for our weekly Impact Zone brawl, and once again it's fun times thanks to the heels being really good at this. They fight back to the ring where Runt is isolated because, well yeah. Good beating on him again, and it's nice to see JJ giving a shit and working like a top heel for once. D-Von has a fun hot tag before the bullshit hits with some plunda and a ref bump that lets Gail lowblow Bubba. RUNT HITS HER WITH THE ACID DROP. FUCK YEAH. Roode runs in and hits Runt with the flag, and JJ nails the Stroke to win.
**1/4

Planet Jarrett jump the faces and beat the crap out of them. Team Sting runs down for the save and an even bigger brawl breaks out, and it's wild and fun as hell. Abyss joins in and attacks Rhino for the hell of it, but Cage runs down and fights him as well. Steiner turns the tide as it gets more insane. STING SHOWS UP AND CLEANS HOUSE. WOOOOO SITNG BABY.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-13/4/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA LOCKDOWN
APRIL 23RD, 2006
THE IMPACT ZONE

Before the opening match, Shelley gives his camera to a debuting So Cal Val!!

Match#1 Black Tiger, Hirooki Goto & Minoru vs. Alex Shelley, Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt
Mike says Liger will be the captain of the team and it starts on Impact this week. Goto is the best loser ever and it's so class to see him on my TV for the first time in a review. BT is Rocky Romero under a mask for those keeping score at home. Really fun feeling out to start everyone gets something in and looks good, and fills me with more hope for this X-Cup than ever before. Rocky vs Shelley rules a ton for what we get, and i hope they meet again during this. Lethal is the big standout as he again shows how amazing and talented he is off the bat, and this is the perfect place to let him go wild. Sonjay is isolated and we get a fun control seg thanks all the members of Japan being really good beating the hell out of him, and Dutt bumps his ass off. Jay has a killer hot tag before it breaks down and everyone goes insane and then some. Lots of close calls and big bombs, and it's everything we want and need. Shelley hits Sonjay with a superkick by accident to take him out! BT beats Jay with the Tiger Suplex.
***

In the back, JB is with Team 3D. More horrible anti Canada stuff, and some lame WWE sux nonsense. Fuck this.

In the back, Larry asks JB about some special announcement being made, but JB knows nothing about it.

Christopher Daniels' mystery challenger is...LOW KI. HOLY FUCK YEAH. HIS NAME IS NOW SENSHI WHICH MEANS WARRIOR IN JAPANESE. GOD YES EITHER WAY

Match#2 Senshi vs Christopher Daniels
Daniels is in shock at his former running buddy and mortal enemy making his return for the first time in two years. Ki wastes no time turning this into an insane strike battle as he's a cunt and hates the world now, and Daniels is more than game to get his head rocked and rock him back. They have a great back as they always do, and Ki is able to forge ahead as he's quicker and catches him with gross kicks to control. Awesome stuff from him as you'd expect as he holds nothing back on his strikes, and Daniels sells his ass off. Chris fights back and they have a sweet finishing run with a lot of cool twists and turns, and i pray we get more of this before Ki pulls a Ki again. KI HITS THE FUCKING JOHN WOO INTO THE CAGE AND DANIELS BOUNCES OFF. GODDAMN. Daniels ribs are wreaked and he sells like hell as Ki ramps up the beating with chops. Daniels pulls a DVD out of nowhere and hits the BME, but Ki kicks out. They fight on top of the cage, and both men take nasty bumps into it. Ki misses the Stomp and messes his ankle up, but he powers through and gets a bridging counter to the Angel's Wings and puts his feet on the ropes to win. Not the best finish, but a hell of a fight nonetheless.
***

In the back, James Gang and Daddy Armstrong talk about strapping dudes and whatnot.

Hype for the armwrestling contest. Yes, really.

Bob wins said contest and gets to lash Konnan with a belt 10 times. LAX refuse and try to leave, but BG somehow gets to say they'll be suspended if they don't do it. LAX agree to it, and our new heel trio are lashed with belts like nerds by these assholes. LOLTNA

In the back, Larry tells Planet Jarrett they won the coin toss for the man advantage, but he wants to know what they know about this big announcement. JJ refuses to answer and tells him to find someone else. Storm drinks his beer and says they're going to kick some ass. Sorry, bout your damn luck. Harris rightly says they're the men who made the 6 sides of steel, and Sting and his army's blood with be on their hands. Steiner says he's a hired assassin whose going to kick some ass because he's ready to snap.

Match#3 Chris Sabin vs Elix Skipper w/Simon Diamond vs Petey Willams w/Scott D'Amore vs Puma vs Chase Stevens vs Shark Boy (Xscape Match)
Like last year, wrestlers are eliminated via pinfall or submission and then it's escape rules for the last two men. The two heel managers make a deal to have their men work together. This is a pretty fun sprint as they get 13 and waste zero time doing cool moves off the cage and taking gross bumps as a result. Petey gets rid of Sharky first with the CD like a real bastard. He fights Sabin again, and the cage gives them a new thing to do and it's good fun. They all get in and go crazy for a while, AND CHASE HITS A SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE. Skipper gets back up and hits the POD to get rid of him soon after. Petey turns on Skipper and rolls him up with the tights to get him out of there. Sabin beats Puma with the Cradle Shock, and we're down to two. Good 3 minutes between them as always, and Sabin gets out of first to win.
**3/4

In the back, Mitchell & Abyss are in a lair, Mitchell drops the all timer "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you" This should ring bells as Abyss has turned him into an emotional biohazard who is the best in the world because of the title he's holding, but he's not living up to what he should be. Off filming movies and leaving his wife alone because that's how he rolls. There will be a changing of the guard tonight as Abyss is walking out with the NWA worlds championship, and the only thing rolling tonight will be Cage's head thanks to Abyss,

Hype for Joe/Sabu.

Match#4 Samoa Joe (c) vs Sabu (NWA-TNA X-Divison Championship)
Sabu's arm is broke because he's Sabu, so now Joe has a target in a cage match on top of it. SABU TOSSES A CHAIR AT HIS HEAD AND TAKES OUT HIS LEG AND LOCKS IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH, AND JOE FIGHTS OUT AND KICKS HIM IN THE GUTS OVER AND OVER AND SABU JUST SCREAMS "OH SHIT" IN PAIN. SABU TOSSES THE CHAIR BACK AT HIS HEAD. They punch the shit out of each other and hold nothing back as you can hear the crack of each one as they get harder and harder. Joe tosses him into the cage to bust him open and Joe goes for it with a gross knee right to the cut with all his weight coming down on his face. Sabu won't die and uses the chair to stay alive and hits a few air Sabu's to hurt the monster, and the cage adds to the height and craziness of all of them. SABU USES A SPIKE, BUT JOE GRABS THE BROKEN ARM AND TURNS INTO AN ARM BAR AND ELBOWS THE CAST. HOLY SHIT. Joe murders the arm and tries to break the cast as he smashes it off the mat and wrenches it backwards. THEY FIGHT ON THE TOP AND JOE SMASHES THE ARM INTO THE CAGE AND HITS A FUCKING ACE CRUSHER. WHAAAA. SABU WON'T DIE AND GOES FOR ANOTHER AIR SABU, BUT JOE THROWS THE CHAIR AT HIM AND DRAGS HIM OFF THE SIDE OF THE CAGE INTO THE MUSCLE BUSTER TO WIN. WHAT A MATCH
***1/2

In the back, Team Canada don't like America. Larry walks on and tries to suck up so they'll help him, but D'Amore tells him to fix it himself.

Hype for the Anthem Match.

Match#5 Team 3D & Brother Runt vs Bobby Roode, Eric Young & A1 w/Scott D'Amore (Anthem Match)
Son of a bitch, Bubba and Spike have this awful face paint on that makes them look like even bigger jerkoffs than normal. I don't want to be a prick as i adore wrestling, and i love the Dudz in ECW/early WWF, but this run has been trash and it's not changing until they turn heel and hopefully give a shit again. This is also a bad match as Roode and EY are men without countries and can't do a ton but a bump like crazy to get anything out of it, but it's for naught as 3D don't care and aren't killing themselves even in matches they're going to win. Bad sloppy lazy stuff in between people climbing and trying to grab the flag. There's a ref bump in a cage match because fuck me, i guess. 3D get the flag, but all of TC attack them and put it back up so the ref can't see it. A table is bought in after D'Amore attacks a ref who has the key, and he cuts the door open. EY nearly kills himself going through it with a missed elbow. 3D fight back and grab the flag to end this horrible feud.
1/2*

Post match, D'Amore tries to stop them from getting the anthem played, so 3D finally 3D him. Please let this be done.

Christy Hemme makes her debut dropping off a letter to Mike and DW. Mike reads said letter and it's about TNA reviewing all officer personal and making them held accountable for their actions, and a new person is coming in to be the face of TNA. Said person is now placing Larry on probation for his awful actions as of late. Larry storm out and yells at Tenay for turning his back on him after years of carrying him. Mike reads more of the letter and says Raven is reinstated as of right now. He makes his return looking even more bloated and sad than he was a few months ago. He slowly stalks Larry around the ring. He chases him into the cage, but Larry locks the door and demands blackshirts get him out of there, which they do. Horrible stuff.

In the back, Christian refuses to speak to JB.

Hype for Cage/Abyss.

Match#6 Christian Cage (c) vs Abyss w/James Mitchell (NWA-TNA Worlds Heavyweight Championship)
Cage jumps him on the ramp and we get ourselves a proper fight as it should be after all that has happened. Abyss hurls him against the cage and chokes him in an awesome visual. They brawl in the crowd (and somewhere JJ is getting ready to sue) and it's very good stuff with a million cool strikes and bumps into all the places they fight into. Christian gets hit with the door like he did to AJ last year, but not as cool or gross as that all timer, sadly. Abyss throws him into the ring and kicks his ass for a while, and it's a good control seg but sort of lacking given how amazing this feud has been. Good bumps and selling, but just missing that spark that really gets me into it. Cage fights back and then we get another fucking ref bump when Abyss takes his head off. FUCKING STOP. They fight some more as another ref comes out, and Christian hits a massive Frog Splash off the top for what should be the end, but Abyss kicks out. They break out tumbtacks because Abyss is now lost without using them every match, sadly. Abyss kills the second ref by throwing him into the cage. He climbs up and fights Cage and gets susnset flipped into them like last year's match. He kicks out of it though in a good call. They fight more and Cage hits the Unprettier into the tacks to win.
**1/4

Post match, Cage goes after Mitchell, but Abyss saves and kills him with his chain and chokes him for a while. He steals the title to at fulfil part of his promise.

In the back, Team Sting talk. Truth sings his awful song. AJ is beyond humbled that Sting chose to wrestle in TNA when he could have gone anywhere, and he won't let him down. Rhino says he's a war machine that was built for this match. Sting shows up and screams IT'S SHOWTIME, FOLKS

Hype fior Lethal Lockown.

Match#7 Sting, AJ Styles, Ron Killings & Rhino vs Jeff Jarrett, Scott Steiner & America's Most Wanted (Lethal Lockdown)
-AJ & Harris are in first
-Wonderful, wonderful fight between two men who really haven't touched in nearly two years, and only got back into this year and are pure magic this time.
-AJ misses the Dropkick, but Harris stupidly taunts him, so AJ hits it and it's gross as fuck as he catches him right in the face
-Harris throws him into the cage to hurt his back, and we get some brutal Harris control work, and wild AJ bumps
-AJ fights back and hits INSANE Stinger Splashes to crush Harris against the cage and busts him open
-AJ hits the Clash, and that stupid old man Hebner counts a fall despite it not being legal.
-James Storm is next drinking a beer
-AJ DROPKICKS THE DOOR, BUT STORM DUCKS AND GAILS TAKES IT RIGHT IN THE FACE.
-STORM SPITS HIS BEER IN AJ'S FACE AND SLAMS THE DOOR INTO HIS HEAD, AND AJ IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN
-Storm goes after the cut and beats the piss out of him, and it's even better than Harris' work from before
-AMW work together to hurt him even more
-Rhino is next
-He's all fired up and trying hard, so this rocks as well
-He rams Storm into the cage to bust him open, and James is a great bleeder.
-AMW take back over and we get a mini tag match that rules
-JJ is next
-Rhino runs down and fights him on the ramp, and AJ joins in because fuck this asshole.
-JJ gets in and the trio beat the shit out of heroes with some great cage work, and AJ ups his bumping like a true nutcase
-Truth is next
-All time house of fire work from him as he pinballs the heels all over the place
-THEY HIT A SUPER TOWER OF DOOM TO KILL EVERYONE. FUCK YEAH
-Scotty is the last man for the heels
-He murders everyone with suplexes, and AJ takes another wild bump off of it.
-Sting is the last man
-He kills everyone as only the man called Sting can
-He stacks them all in the corner and kills them with Stinger Splashes
-The roof now comes down with weapons attached to it
-Tons of plunder shots happen and it's all my jam.
-Storm and AJ climb out up the roof to fight as DW loses his mind
-Gail tries to help, but AJ stomps on her fingers, and Jackie pulls her skirt off and drags her away
-STORM SUPERKICKS AJ, AND STYLES NEARLY FALLS OFF
-Storm sets up a table, but AJ kicks him in the face and puts him on it
-Back in the ring, Sting breaks the guitar again with the bat, but Scotty lowblows him, and JJ breaks another one over his head
-ON THE ROOF AJ SETS UP A LADDER AND CLIMBS IT AND GRABS ONTO AN OVERHEAD BEAM AND JUMPS OFF AND SPLASHES STORM THROUGH THE TABLE
-HOLY FUCKING HELL
-More wild fighting happens in the ring, and Sting hits Steiner with the Deathdtop
-Harris smashes a bottle over his head and locks in a sharpshooter, but Sting reverses into the Deathlock to win.
***1/2

One hell of a show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-13/4/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
April 27th, 2006
Impact Zone

In the back, Abyss is holding the stolen title as Mitchell says he told he would have it in his hands and make him champion. The world is his after he embarrassed Christian in front of his wife and fans. He's the real world champion. His amazing evil cackle closes us out.

Tonight; The X Cup begins. Samoa Joe vs Jay Lethal for the X-Division title.

Abyss now comes out to the ring with the title and Mitchell. James says he's sure that Cage feels he still has some type of ownership of this,, but possession is nine-tenths of the law. He dares anyone who thinks they can it out of Abyss' hands to come out here and try. Rhino answers as he's Cage's best buddy in the entire world, and a match breaks out.

Match#1 Abyss w/James Mitchell vs Rhino
Rhino rushes him as always and a good monster fight happens with solid strikes and big bumps from both. Abyss takes his face off with a boot and goes to work on him, and it's a standard ok fun monster work, but he's still sort of lacking and getting lazy with it as he's not changing much up, sadly. Rhino makes a bad comeback before the bullshit hits as Mitchell distracts the ref, and Roode slides in and knocks Rhino out with the Northern Lariat. Abyss hits the BHS to win,
*1/2

Post match, Christian runs in and fights him and hits a spear, but Mitchell steals the title again and runs up the ramp. Cage clears the ring of Abyss, and grabs a mic. He says he thinks they have something that belongs to the peeps. No one wants to see Shrek as the champion, so at Sacrifice we're going to suspended the title above the ring and add in Tables, Ladders and Chairs and Chains. FULL METAL MAYHEM, YOU UGLY BITCH. The true champ is taking his belt back because that's how he rolls. Awesome stuff once again. Fingers crossed this match is good.

In the back, JB announces on the 14th is will be Jeff Jarrett & Scotty Steiner vs Sting and a partner of his choosing. Scotty says he can pick anyone he wants after he got the match he wanted, and he's the only weapon that is needed. Larry walks on and says Sting has asked to meet him in the ring later to find out who his partner will be. Larry asks JB to tell him if Raven shows up.

In a pre-tape we find Alex Shelley in a hotel. He says's he's got a BIG interview and he's putting himself in front of the camera as everyone has wanted to talk to this guy. He walks over to a door and picks up some newspapers and knocks on the door...AND BIG SEXY KEVIN NASH ANSWERS AND INVITES HIM IN. ALEX SAYS HE'S PICKED THE PAPERS UP EARLIER FOR HIM. OH MY GOD YESSSSSS IT'S HAPPENING.

WORLD X CUP RULES:
-1st Round is tag team matches worth 2 points each
-2nd Round is singles matches worth 3 points each
-3rd Round is a Gauntlet For The Gold, to be held at Sacrifice. The two final men each get 2 points, and the winner gets an additional 3.
-In the event of a tie, the captains of the tied teams will have a singles match
-Finals take place at Sacrifice.

D'Amore & Petey join commentary to hype their chances, and to announce Devine & Dux will be joining the team.

Match#2 Alex Shelley & Sonjay Dutt vs Minoru & Hirooki Goto
Super fun 6 minute sprint to get this entire thing over as exactly what it should be with dudes from all around the world going nuts to show how good they are, and why their style is the best. Cool mat work from Shelley and both Japanese wrestlers, and he fits right in because he's a freak hybrid wrestler that can do anything. Sonjay is good always, but yeah Alex is the best. Dutt has a short and fun hot tag before the finishing run happens for a little bit. Everyone gets some cool shit in like Shelley using the codebreaker on Goto to keep him in place so Sonjay can hit a moonsault onto his back!! More cool stuff happens and Shelley kills Goto with the Slice Bread, and Sonjay hits a SSP to beat him.
**3/4

USA now has 2 points.

In the back, JB is with AJ & Daniels. AJ turns his hat backwards and says AMW have opened his eyes after Lockdown with how they've conducted themselves being with JJ, and now they've tarnished the tag titles. He wants that to change, and he's picked Christopher Daniels to help him do just that. JB says Larry has made the title match for next week!! Daniels says people will ask what qualifies them as a championship team, well AJ is the most prolific champion in company history, and he's the longest champion in the X-Division's history. The world has seen what they've done to each other, now imagine what they'll do together. Next week AMW will see it first hand.

We get an awesome Senshi hype video talking about his martial arts history and time in Japan, and how is now here to rule the X-Division.

Before the main event, Raven waddles through the crowd with horrible blue hair to chase Larry off to the back. Joe uses this distraction to attack Lethal to start the match.

Match#3 Samoa Joe (c) vs Jay Lethal (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Joe pummels him with strikes and gross throws, and Jay takes a wicked beating as a result with a million nasty bumps. We come back from the break to more killing and Jay dying, as it should be. He ups the beating worse and worse, and Jay rules fighting from underneath as he shows a ton of fire and what he can and will bring to the table in the next few years. He mounts a sweet comeback, but Joe cuts him off with a gross Uranagie and then a running knee followed by the Combo to win.
**3/4

Post match, JJ's music hits and he comes out with Scotty, AND JOE WALKS RIGHT UP THE RAMP AND STARES HIM DOWN AND TALKS SHIT. HE GOES NOSE TO NOSE WITH SCOTTY AS WELL, AND SCOTTY FLEXES AND JOE LOOKS LIKE HE COULDN'T GIVE LESS OF A SHIT IF HE TRIED. AMAZING, AMAZING STUFF.

Back from the break, Sting comes out, and JJ demands to know who the partner is. Sting mocks the demands, and says he's going to let JJ choose his partner. He says behind each tunnel is a wrestler who Jeff can decide upon. Yes, there are wrestlers behind each one. Jeff asks if this is is price is right, and Sting says he's here to cut out the cancer called Jeff Jarrett, Jeff confers with Scotty as Sting brings out Christy as his host of this game show, and then plays music on top of it. He gives Jeff 30 seconds to pick a tunnel, and Jeff thinks about it. Sting says he either choses one of them tonight, or next week there will be two more wrestlers to choose from. Jeff says he's not playing these games and Sting can bring whoever he wants to the PPV, he's done with this. Sting describes one of the wrestlers as a former member of the NWO, and Jeff freaks out about it. Sting says he's a former 5 time WCW tag champion and on probation in Georgia right now, and that's a shoot. It's BUFF BAGWELL. Oh thank God, Jeff didn't pick. Jeff laughs about it as does Scotty seeing his old pal. Buffy struts down to the ring, and Sting says he's still the stuff.

He reads the card for the next man, and he's a former bodybuilder who worked for the WBF and he's an international fugitive. A former two time WCW champion...Lex Luger. GET FUCKED PUTTING THIS SACK OF SHIT BACK ON TV. I love Sting, but Jesus Christ he has the worst taste in friends.

Jeff and Scotty walk away to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-13/4/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPCT
May 4th, 2006
Impact Zone

In the back, Jackie and Gail are yelling at each other when AMW walk on. Harris tells Gail to get her in check right now because they've got a title match and he's had enough. Storm walks on and says AJ, Daniels and then skulls his beer and smashes it on the ground, and finishes by saying "get ready" LOVE that AMW aren't fucking around when it comes to the super team because they know one mistake and it's all over.

Tonight; Shelley vs Christian.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted w/Jackie & Gail Kim vs AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Harris and Storm are bandaged up from Lockdown, and Mike says AJ is hurt as well. Awesome opening fight as AMW jump them and beat the crap out of them with stiff shots and awesome double teams, so our heroes have to fight back and get right to it by working together to turn the tide in killer fashion. We come back from the break where AJ and Storm are having battle with both dudes being badly hurt and selling like hell. AJ hits the dropkick and it's a stiff as the one at Lockdown as he crushes James's face, and Daniels follows up with a beating on the ribs. Harris blindsides Daniels with a punch to take over and AMW have another tremendous control seg working on his back with great double teams, and shithead cheating as they've now become amazing at. Daniels selling rocks likes always and adds a ton to it as well as he's badly hurt, and the cut offs and beating gets more and more violent. AJ gets the hot tag and goes ballistic on these bastards as he only he can with all the fire in the world, and AMW bump like nutcases for him. HE BREAKS OUT THE SPINNING RACK BOMB ON THE BAD RIBS ON STORM, AND HARRIS HAS TO PULL THE REF OUT TO SAVE. GAIL JUMPS OFF FOR A RANA, BUT AJ CATCHES HER INTO THE CLASH, BUT STORM GETS BACK UP AND KILLS HIM WITH THE SUPERKICK! GAILS HITS A FUCKNG SNAP RANA TO KILL HIM, AND STORM PULLS THE TIGHTS TO STEAL THE WIN. SON OF A BITCH.
***1/4

Post match, AWM quickly grab the belts and pose on the ramp as Daniels stares them down. We've only just begun.

Senshi will be the new face and dominator of the X-Division.

Match#2 Eric Young & Johnny Devine w/Scott D'Amore vs Magno & Shocker (World X-Cup-Round 1)
Sucks to see Devine back as he's not very good at all, but it's a good thing for Shelley at least Speaking of, Alex is filming at ringside. Magno isn't much at all and botches a lot, so it's up to EY and Shocker to save it. So of course, they don't get much against each other and the match dies as a result. Shocker beats Devine with a prawnhold after Alex accidently distracts Devine.
1/2*

USA & Mexico are now on 2 points.

Post match, Team Canada yell at Alex.

Larry joins the booth and complains about being placed on probation and calls this high school. He makes a rematch between AMW & AJ & Daniels for Sacrifice with Gail and Jackie banned from ringside. Raven's blue bloated ass jumps the rail and chases after Larry again. Stop this right now.

Scott and Jeff make their way out to the ring for round 2 of this very weird and odd gameshow Sting is now playing. Sting says they've only got one choice this week and he wants a yes or no. Jeff says this isn't family feud or the dating game, nor is the game show network. He's got the best partner in the world in Scotty. Steiner has enough and chokes Jeff and demands he take the deal, but Jeff doesn't pick. He actually allows the fans to pick if he should do it or not, but he says he's not that stupid and he's waiting until next week. Sting reads the bio for the unpicked wrestler and he's a real estate agent and a former 10 time WCW tag champion and he hunts and kills for fun. It's Rick Steiner. Scott flips out and storms out. This is all very stupid, but also awesome in bullshit pro wrestling ways.

IT'S NOW TIME FOR PART ONE OF THE INTERVIEW WITH KEVIN NASH.
-Kevin starts off by saying he had a little health scare last year, and he saw Sting and Steiner come back and his phone hasn't rung.
-He clarifies by saying it DOES work, it's just no one from TNA has called him.
-He says those men are under his significant stature
-He shows a graph showing the best drawing WWF champions from Hogan, Bret, himself, Austin & Rock He says Nash drew 100 million without any merch factored in as that would need another chart. AMAZING.
-Austin was close to his run, but not close as him.
-Had the NWO spiked he would have made another 100 million.
-Alex says that's a lot of spiking leading to Nash saying now imagine him on Spike
-He's not tooting his own horn, but he's the best mic worker and most charismatic wrestler ever. Maybe even the most handsome to ever wrestler. Never did drugs as he's a pure champion.
-He thinks the X-Division can give you a good little match with good little guys, but it's basically filler
-To be continued next week.
-


Match#3 Christian Cage vs Alex Shelley
SO cool to see TNA not forgetting about Alex's role and making sure he dies for it. Cage is all fired up and drops him with awesome strikes and it's the best he's looked as a face thus far as he's mean and pissed off, and has the perfect person to hold up the other end for him. Alex takes some wild bumps for him including a gross one onto his neck on the apron for an inverted DDT. Cage grabs the camera and says he's making a film too, called BOOT TO THE SKULL AND HE KICKS ALEX IN THE FACE. Cage keeps it up after the break as TNA is now getting better at handling them and not losing too much in-between. Alex takes over with an STO to the buckles and hits a wonderfully nasty Tope right to the neck. Awesome control seg working the neck for a while with cool holds, and Cage sells his ass off for it all. His comeback is great as well, and this feels like him putting it together after a few months of working out what is going to work best for him. He hits a classic babyface crossbody and a sweet sitout powerbomb, and it's a blast. Finishing run is good shit as Alex nearly gets it done with a Slice-Bread, but Cage sends him super hard into the buckles and hits the Unprettier to win
***

Post match, Cage gets the mic and says Abyss runs fast for a monster. He's ten days away from getting his ass kicked, and he's ten days away from getting his title back.

In the back, Mitchell and Abyss are in the lair. James says if he wants the belt back, he suggests he shows up next week and try and take it.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-12/2/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe-13/4/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-22/10/05

TNA IMPACT
May 11th, 2006
Impact Zone

Team 3D make their return after a wonderful two week break. Bubba talks about fighting anyone and everyone like warriors over the last decade, but they don't see how AJ and Daniels got a shot before them. Well, they rule and work hard and actually give a shit, Bubz. He says they're great wrestlers, but they aren't a great tag team like they are. They deserve the rematch with AMW. James Gang's music hits and they come out with mics, and say sorry for busting up the interview. But they had to answer some things that troubled him, things like them saying they're the most distinguished team in history. They never beat them. Bubba says he never beat them aside from the time they beat them for the WWF tag titles for the first time. BG says they sold out MSG 46 times in a row, while they were bringing 350 people into a bingo hall. Bubba says they're jealous because they could never get over in that bingo hall. BG says he doesn't play bingo, AND BUBBA SHOUTS B52, AND BG SAYS HE SUNK HIS BATTLESHIP. DEAD. BG says the big boys play in the 6 sides and the bickering is getting them nowhere, so they want their dance card filled at Sacrifice. Bubba agrees to settle some old business, and they shake hands. BG kisses D-Von before leaving,

Tonight; Sting picks his partner.

Match#1 Puma w/Shocker vs Chris Sabin (World X-Cup Round 2)
Now this is our jam. Fast as hell and super smooth work from two of the best the world has to offer for 9 minutes. Lots of fancy mat work and counters from Puma, and Sabin's attempts to get out to have a chance are very fun. Puma moves ahead and controls for a while with more tricky holds, but Sabin finally gets free and goes for high flying bombs to get anything going. They have a sweet finishing run with some more high speed crashes, and Sabin nails a corner dropkick and the CradleShock to win.
**3/4

USA is now in the lead with 5 points.

In the back, JB says it will be AMW & Roode vs AJ, Daniels & Rhino. AMW mock Jackie for crying and being pathetic, so they kick he rout of the room. Storm is drunk and can't stand, so Harris shouts he can't anymore beer. Larry walks on and asks D'Amore for help with Raven, but Scott once again refuses. He thinks about it and asks for A1 vs Raven as he feels that A1 has been in the background for too long. Larry agrees to it.

In the back, Team USA are talking. Shelley says he doesn't like them, and they don't like him. He felt it would be remiss if he didn't come here as a friend and teammate to help them and to show them this video. He then throws it to...

KEVIN NASH INTERVIEW PART 2
-Alex says he knows this is only happening to benefit Nash, and he understands that. So, why did he come back.
-Nash says he knew this would get back to TNA as his contract runs until October of 07 and they will honour it.
-If they do that for Sting, they should do it for him. Because they haven't he's going to show them up by going after their pried and joy in the X-Division.
-If he destroys identity then he becomes the new one and that means more money and the numbers will go back through the roof and he'll re-negotiate
-You can line up the entire division in alphabetical order and he would beat them all. A mediocre big man would destroy the best small man night in night out
-Kevin asks what the motto of the division is, and Alex says he didn't come up with it before telling him.
-“Number one, always take credit for anything you can. You should have said, ‘I came up with that’.”
-he wants to see if anyone can back it up after they take a size 16 to the face
-He kicks Alex out of the room

Back in the room, the faces are pissed off at Alex, but he says they missed him defending the division. He says Kevin will be at the PPV, so Sonjay says it's time for the dinosaurs to go away and he'll meet his boot.

As Abyss makes his intro, Mitchell shows up on the screen hyping up the FMM match and says Abyss has a preview. Abyss pulls out a ladder for said preview.

Match#2 Abyss vs Chase Stevens
Abyss kills him with gross plunder shots for 2 minutes, and it's pretty fun and brutal. Abyss wins with a BHS through a table.
*3/4

Post match, Christian runs down and attacks him with a ladder. He climbs up and hits a sick dive onto him and blackshirts and beats his head in for a while. Fuck yeah.

It's time for part 3 of Sting's gameshow. He walks out with Luger, Buffy and Rick because these dicks needed more TV time for some reason. Sting says Jeff was originally going to make the choice because he wanted him to have the ball in his court, and he can have one last chance tonight. Jeff gets mad and says he has made a career from reading people's faces and he's the smartest man in wrestling. He knows Sting is out of partners and he can't pick someone like Hogan because he's filming bad reality shows. It won't be Scott Hall because his old lady dumped him. It would be Nash because he's pissed at the X-Division. Nor will it be Savage who is locked in the looney bin. He demands to know who it is, and Sting struggles to read the card. He says he was a solo performer at the 1984 Olympics, and Jeff starts laughing like crazy. He's a former mortgage broker who former English teacher was Tank Abbott's dad. He's a former bouncer, and Jeff says he won the game. Sting says he's not done BECAUSE HE'S CURRENTLY THE UNDEFEATED SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE, SAMOA JOE. JOE WALKS OUT WITH A MASSIVE SMILE ON HIS FACE!! The heels bail the ring as Sting holds up an amazing "Joe is going to kill you" shirt. Fantastic stuff.

Match#3 America's Most Wanted & Bobby Roode w/Gail Kim & Scott D'Amore vs AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels & Rhino
Tenay announces it will be Rhino/Roode on Sunday after last week. They have a good power fight with Bobby again stepping up big time. The tag teams go at it again and it's the coolest stuff in the world as they're breaking out new double teams and really beating the piss out of each other. AJ is isolated after getting hit with a flag to the face, and we get a super fun control seg with the future Beer Money working well together!! Rhino's hot tag lasts 10 seconds before it all breaks down and everyone goes crazy as they always seem to do. Very fun finishing run before Jackie walks down and throws water in Harris face, and he walks into the Gore
**3/4