Donnie watches NWA-TNA 2004

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-4/6/04

TNA IMPACT
July 2nd, 2004
Impact Zone

Ken Shamrock arrives

Match#1 Elix Skipper vs Alex Shelley
OH MY FUCKING GOD YES. One of my all time favourites, and one of the very rare good dudes in pro wrestling is here. He's perfect for Skipper to do cool shit with, and also showcase himself as a future star. Shane and Kaz watch on the stage and SHAZAIRAN is born. It distracts Skipper and lets Alex take over and get a sick control seg. Super smooth and fancy stuff, and Skipper takes a great beating. Skipper eventually crotches him and hits the rana walk and POD to win.
**3/4

Match#2 America's Most Wanted & D-Lo Brown vs. Makayenu Miyamoto & NOSAWA
Tenay announces that AMW will defend the titles against the Nats on the PPV this week, which is awesome as hell. This is a fine showcase for our American heroes. David Young is under the mask as Makeyenu for some reason that i assume is to try and finally win a match. Super weird. AMW win with the Death Sentence.
*3/4

Post match, The Naturals run out and steal the titles, and Tenay shouts "THEY HAVE TO EARN THOSE" like a real fucking dork.

Match#3 Monty Brown vs. Abismo Negro
Very fun Monty squash, and the perfect use of all these losers from the X-Cup bullshit. POUNCE does the job
**

Match#4 Shazarian w/Traci Brooks vs Amazing Red & Chris Sabin
The faces run through them to start and Sabin is awesome, but our son Red looks even better than he has in months and it's heartwarming. We lose some in the adds and Red has been isolated and the heels do a far better job together than alone beating his ass. They're still mostly whatever, but greater than the sum of their parts type deal. Red takes some wild bumps for them and does everything in power to remind the world how good he is. Sabin gets the hot tag but it breaks down right away and everyone gets taken out. Shane gets a gross superkick right to the button to steal it.
**3/4

In a pre-tape, Johnny Fairplay is doing a terrible Andy Kaufman gimmick, and i refuse.

At ringside, AMW walk down and get the mic and promise to take everything back, and there will be a fight they will not lose.

In the back, Douglas is interviewing Russo. Vince says he dropped the ball with Jeff Hardy a few weeks ago, and he is asking for a chance to fix it. Dusty walks on and says this the right direction for Jeff Hardy. (yeah, famous driver Jeff always goes in the right direction)

Slapnuts joins commentary.

Match#5 3 Live Kru w/Dennis Rodman vs. Bobby Roode, Eric Young & Johnny Devine w/ Scott D'Amore
Fuck it, at least it's not 3LK vs the Guard, which i'm sure could be the worst match ever. Ey and Bobby try their best, but their shitty partner, and Truth's even worse partner drag it all down and it's not good at all. There's a ref bump because of course there fucking is in a 4 minute main event, you dumb bastard. Jeff gets his guitar and smashes it over BG's head and Roode pins him to win.
1/2*

Post match, Jeff goes for another guitar shot on Konna, but Shamrock runs down and steals it and smashes it to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; America's Most Wanted-4/6/04

NWA-TNA PPV#102
July 7th, 2004
TNA Asylum

Tonight; Gauntlet for the Gold

Match#1 SHAZARIAN vs D-Ray 3000 & Shark Boy
Solid little showcase for the new team. As with Impact, they are far better together than alone. D-Ray is beaten by the Superkick.
*3/4

Post match, David Young storms the ring and yells at the ref, and Tenay says they've had problems. Uh, since when?? They get into it and the ref beats his ass until Swinger and Disco make the save and beat him down. Fuck this.

In the back, Monty cuts another wonderful cocaine promo about ripping out D-Lo's throat tonight. He promises to challenge the winner of the main event tonight and beat their asses. Jarrett walks on and yells at him and says to only speak about him as champion.Jeff says he's going to send them all back to where they belong. I hate everything.

Hype for Monty/D-Lo.

Match#2 Monty Brown vs D-Lo Brown. (THERE MUST BE A WINNER)
"This isn't like a wrestling match, it's a fight" - Don Freaking West.
Good fight to start with Monty looking even better than the last few weeks, while D-Lo is still slow but has good punches to cover for the most part. They have the asylum brawl. and it's the only thing i'll miss from this era. Monty mostly dominates and beats him back to the ring and keeps it up for a while, and it's pretty fun. D-Lo makes a very slow comeback and Monty looks like shit for getting his ass beaten by it, but he thankfully rolls out of the way of the frog splash and Pounces him through a table to win.
**1/4

In the back, Hudson is with Dusty and Larry. They both promise to uphold tradition and to make sure everything is done fair and right. Dusty shows a contract he has for Jeff Hardy and once again says he wants to fix this.

Recap of Abyss/Watts.

In the boiler room, Hudson is with Goldy & Abyss. She cuts another horrid fucking promo about being rich and getting rid of shitty ass Watts. She says she will be showing off her new X-Division object next week. She is buying a wrestler. OH MY GOD YES.

Recap of AJ's win last week.

In the ring, Tenay is with SHAZARIAN and Traci. Traci says there a hundreds of people who have problems with AJ, and they have all signed a petition to remove him from the X-Division. Tenay calls bullshit and says to name one, and Frankie introduces himself and says he signed it. AMAZING. Frankie says once a wrestler jumps from one division to the other, they can not jump back. Tenay says no such rule is in TNA, and Frankie tells him to shut up and not make funny faces at him. Shane says they put the X-Division is on the map, not AJ. Jerry Lynn comes out for some reason, and i was hoping he was gone forever. He says he felt like them back in 2002 when he first met AJ, and he fought him tooth and nail and made sure he paid his dues. He knows AJ has respect for wrestling and he has earned and deserves everything he has. Shane says he is a gentlemen and he doesn't bleed. He notices that Jerry shaved so he'd look ten years younger, but it doesn't cut it. Jerry says he's beaten them both in the last year, and he thinks they're afraid of AJ Styles. Frankie slaps him and they beat him down in decent fashion, until AJ runs down and makes the save. He gets attacked as well, but XXX make the save and run them off. As they're leaving, Sabin and Red walk out and stare them down as well. Very fun segment.

JB does the ring announcing for the tag title match, and ref goes over the rules of the match, but both teams start fighting in ring and the bell rings.

Match#3 America's Most Wanted (c) vs The Naturals (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
HARRIS IS FORCED OUT OF THE RING BY THE REF MAKES WHO MAKES HIM GO TO THE CORNER, BUT IN THE BACKGROUND, ONE OF THE NATS HITS STORM WITH THE BELT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, AND THE OTHER HITS HIM IN THE FACE AND THE REF GETS IN AND COUNTS 3, AND HARRIS CAN'T SAVE IN TIME AND THE NATS STEAL THE TITLES IN 12 SECONDS.
FUCK YEAH.

in the back, D'Amore says Team Canada is a team no matter what. He says one of his men should have been in last weeks title match, and this is classic discrimination that Canadians always suffer. He promises they'll win tag and singles gold. Oh no, something terrible is about to happen.

Match#4 Chris Sabin & The Amazing Red vs XXX vs Bobby Roode & Petey Willams w/Team Canada
Petey finally joins the X-Division and life gets worse for the next few years. TNA does something different has three men in at once and it creates some fuckery, but also lets them do a lot more cool shit than with just two. D'Amore hits Sabin with the stick and Roode isolates Daniels, and once again looks really good in this role. Skipper gets the hot tag and drags Petey into some good offence before it all breaks down. They do the tower of doom spot and i hate it sooooo much. Everyone goes nuts and Petey is the worst as always lagging behind and fucking everything up like a complete doofus. He does the desryoer on Sabin, who kills himself on it to not make it look stupid. Skipper takes him out and Daniels beats Sabin with the BME.
**1/2

In the back, Russo is with the new tag champs!!!! The Nats say they will not be defending for 30 days. Russo says he wants to do the right thing, but they keep cheating and stealing things, including his wallet. He makes a ladder match with all the stolen clothes on the line, and if AMW win they get a title shot, but AMW will be on the gutcheck list if they lose. AMW attack them and a sick as hell brawl breaks out. They brawl through the Asylum and the Nats get the fuck beaten out of them, and DW shouts they could be killed tonight if AMW have their way. AMW go for the kill but the blackshirts finally show up and make them leave. Awesome stuff.

At ringside, DW and Tenay are doing the rundown for next week when AJ Styles shows up, and he's spitting mad. He says two men have a problem with him being a multiple time champion in two divisions, but has those title BECAUSE HE CAN. He challenges one of them to fight next week and if they beat him, they can have a shot. Shane and Traci come out and say if AJ is as phenomenal as thinks he is, he can take them both on in singles matches next week, once at the start and once at the end of the night. AJ accepts but only if they accept if they lose, they have to leave his division. Kaz attaks from behind and another fight breaks out. AJ cleans house and fucks them both up. Shane saves Kaz from the clash, but Styles hits a plancha to take them both out!! Blackshirts break it up. Wonderful stuff.

In the back, Shamrock cuts a bad promo about being his own mad on his own island.

Match#5 Gauntlet for the Gold (NWA-TNA World Championship)
#1-Ron Killings
#2-Hernadez
Truth drags the big lug through some fun stuff for a couple of minutes.
#3-Onyx
He helps to beat up Truth, and it's fine enough.
#4-Jeff Jarrett
Shocking he's not last, but given how terrible the majority of wrestlers in this are, he's needed to carry them. Of course, that could have been avoided if TNA was competent, but LOLTNA.
#5-Konnan
He's fucking awful and looks terrible cleaning house.
#6-Collyer
He's pretty good, but he's also famously dry and boring as hell, so he's not adding much to this.
#7-BG
He's got some fire tonight and the fight with Jeff is a lot of fun like always.
#8-Ken Shamrock
Konnan is dumped by the Guard.
Ken fucks up the guard with suplexes and looks very good for a dude whose been out for so long.
He attacks 3LK as well because he wants to win.
He fights Truth and it's a good matchup, so of course they never get a singles match.
Fucking TNA.
They fight near the ropes and Hernandez dumps Shamrock out.
Ken snaps and trashes the ringside area.
BAW GAWD HE'S IN THE DANGER ZONE.
He attacks the blackshirts and puts one in the ankle lock, and it's cooler than the entire match.
Truth throws Collyer and Onyx out.
Hernandez and BG topple out on the other side.
It's now Truth vs Jeff for the title.
They go back and forth for a while. and all the seconds cheer at ringside.
Both dudes are gassed and it's not very good at all.
The bullshit hits when Truth kicks out of a title shot and all the seconds brawl.
Shamrock runs back down and steals the guitar and turns heel on Truth and hits him in the head with it.
Jeff steals the win,
Fuck this
3/4*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

TNA IMPACT
July 9th, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 The Naturals vs XXX
Non title match, and Ki is now gone for two years, and XXX are now babyfaces, so it's a new era all round for the division. Face XXX rule a ton to the shock of no one, and they further bring the Nats up to a new level. Daniels looks fantastic after coming back from his shoulder injury, really smooth and crisp and has clearly not lost a step after months out. The Nats attack Skipper from behind to isolate him and they have another fun control seg. All basic but good as hell, and it's my type of jam for a team like them. They're the perfect example of the Dusty quote "Don't do shit you don't know how to do". It all breaks down as it tends to and everyone gets their moment to shine and we get some close calls. Then In the first time in the IMPACT era, the ten minute time limit expires and the match ends.
**3/4

At ringside, JB announces that Larry has declared XXX the winners. The Nats are very angry and beat the shit out of them until AMW run down for the save and chase them off. AMW and XXX go face to face for the first time in a year and nod at each other.

Match#2 SHAZARIAN w/Traci vs Shark Boy & D-Ray 3000
A shorter and lesser squash than the one on PPV. Kaz wins with the Flux Capacitor
1/2*

GOLDY PRESENTS HER NEW BABY BEAR ALEX SHELLEY. YESSSSSSSSSSS

Match#3 Alex Shelley & Abyss w/Goldylocks vs Mikey Batts & Jerrelle Clark
Heel Shelley is a far better fit as we all know, and this role is perfect for him. Sick mat wrestling and super smooth offence, all while showing off to Goldy. Abyss is great as the monster killing them while Shelley picks the bones. Black Hole Slam on Batts ends the fun.
**1/2

Post match, Goldy ignores Abyss and celebrates with Shelley.

Match#4 3 Live Kru vs The Elite Guard.
Vile, vile shit. After 4 terrible godforsaken minutes, Jarrett sneaks down and smashes the guitar over Konnan's stupid fucking head and Collyer steals the win
1/2*

Post match, they all brawl until Dusty and Larry make them leave. Larry gets the mic and bitches about Jeff being the worst over the last few months, so on the PPV it will be Jarrett, the Elite Guard and Shamrock vs 3LK, him and Dusty in a guitar on a pole match. GODDAMN IT, RUSSO.

Match#5 AJ Styles vs Chris Sabin vs Petey Williams w/Scott D'Amore.
Sadly, Petey ruins our dream match, the fuck. Still, this is super fun with AJ breaking out power moves on the young kids who have forgotten he's got that farmer strength on top of everything else. This rules as they all go insane and do some wonderful shit for nearly 10 minutes. Sabin and Petey are forced to team up once AJ fucks them both up, and they make a fun makeshift team. Shazarian show up and AJ dives on them, and back in the ring Petey beats Sabin with the Destroyer.
**3/4

Post match, AJ brawls with them and holds his own for a while, but the numbers take over and they beat him down to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

NWA-TNA PPV#103
July 14th, 2004
TNA Asylum

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Micheal Shane w/Traci
AJ has a nasty black eye, and it makes him look even cooler than normal. He's pissed and beats the dog shit out of this goof for the opening minutes and it's a blast to watch him make him eat all the shit. AJ is breaking out new variations of the dropkick and each one is somehow cooler than the last. As always, AJ gets too angry and into killing, so Shane is able to block the clash and run him into the post to take over. Good basic control from Shane, and like the Nats, this is what he should be doing on the weekly. He targets the back and AJ's bumping and selling is wonderful. Shane hits a grosssssssss belly to belly into the buckles and AJ lands right on his head and neck in a classic AJ bump. Styles' attempted comebacks are great and he gets closer and closer each time, and you can see Traci freaking out as she knows Shane is fucked. AJ cracks him with the Pele Kick right to the top of the skull and Shane drops like a bag of shit. Awesome comeback from AJ as he beats the hell out of him. AJ goes for his dive and he hits it, but his leg hits the rail and he grabs right at his knee. He's unable to stand and Shane crawls back in to win via countout.
***

Post match, Lynn runs out and checks on him along with refs and Russo. Shane is SO happy and dances with Traci now that he has a title shot. AJ is helped out and he's limping badly. DW is worried he won't be able to fight Kaz later. Bless him.

Recap of all the Sabu/Raven drama

Match#2 Abyss & Alex Shelley w/Goldylocks vs Sabu & Sonjay Dutt
Shelley/Sonjay start off and have a killer back and forth and it's rad to see Alex do his thing on PPV, and Sonjay work hard and do his best to keep it up. Shelley and Sabu rules as well, and it's a dream match for me, so hell yeah. Abyss gets in and murders Dutt and we get a fun control seg from the heels, and i wish this team had a run with the gold. Sabu's hot tag is once again 10 seconds as it breaks down like every TNA tag match at this point on PPV. Sabu fucks Shelley up with his chair offence and he fucks Abyss up as well. Everyone goes nuts and it's good fun. Shelley drops Sonjay jaw first on the buckles and kills him with the Brainbuster to win.
**3/4

Post match, Abyss is beaten down and Sabu goes to dive on him, but the lights go out and Raven's voice comes over shouting that the Sheik is dead and Sabu needs to fight him. The dummy is show hanging again, and when the lights go back on Abyss kills Sabu with the Shock Treatment and then puts him through the announce table with the Black hole slam. Awesome angle.

Match#3 XXX, Chris Sabin & Amazing Red vs Team Canada w/Scott D'Amore
Sadly, the team shit still won't die no matter how much i need it to. This is a good 9 minutes with everyone doing their thing, but i wish we had some proper feuds and stories out of this, and not just "put them together" type booking. Tenay announces that Lynn has asked to take AJ's spot against Kaz tonight, and we get a cut in of AJ screaming in pain in the trainers room. The break down happens as fucking always and what the fuck ever, folks. XXX beat Devine with the Power Plex
*1/2

In the back, Jarrett and the Guard are standing by. Jeff singles out Dusty trying to sign Hardy to TNA, and he's pissed that they're waisting their time on this loser. He took out Hogan and Sting, and Hardy can be next. He wants someone to knock him off the mountain, AND MONTY BROWN WALKS ON. ARE WE HAVING A PITTY PARTY, JEFF. WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER CHARLIE BROWN BECAUSE HE'S HERE' HE NEEDS FORGET EVERYONE ELSE AND WORRY ABOUT HIM. HE SMELLS FEAR ON HIM AND THAT'S A SIGN OF AGRESSION AND NOW HE'S ONE POUUUUUUUNCE AWAY FROM HIM TAKING THE TITLE. That fucking ruled, a goddamn shame Monty will get sucked into the Jarrett vortex for the rest of his run.

Hype for the guitar on a pole bullshit.

Match#4 Jeff Jarrett, Elite Guard & Ken Shamrock vs 3 Live Kru, Dusty Rhodes & Larry Zbyszko (Guitar on a pole)
As with all pole matches, this is fucking terrible and bad and shit and wrong and evil. Dusty gets the big win on Onyx because he's still a fucking cunt that needs to step on the throat of anyone young and good.
FUCK YOU

Post match, Monty and Jeff goes nose to nose, and Ken yells at them both. Ken is now gone until 2019, so fuck this.

In the back, SHAZARIAN is with Hudson. Shane says AJ is faking a knee injury to try and get out fighting Kaz, and he's a pro wrestler not a circus performer like AJ. He respects his elders, but he will not be responsible for what Kaz does to Lynn. He's says Russo needs to tell them who gets the first title shot.

Jerry Lynn comes out for the match, but AJ thankfully limps out and takes his rightful place.

Match#5 AJ Styles vs Frankie Kazarian w/Traci
AJ's selling is amazing and he takes it right to the mat as he's fucked and he knows it, so this is his best chance to win. He dominates Kaz but the leg holds him back, and lets the coolest person in the world take over with a closeline. His control seg is all moves and no leg work because he's a fucking moron who doesn't understand basic storytelling handed to him on a sliver platter. AJ guides him through the control and makes a good comeback while selling the leg the entire time because he's not a fucking moron. Traci distracts the ref and Shane kills AJ with the superkick, but he kicks out. Hhahahaha fuck yeah, AJ protecting himself against these shitters. AJ takes Traci out with the Styles Clash in a rad moment, but it lets shitty ass Shane sneak back in and chopblock him and Kaz steals it with a rollup
**1/4

In the back, AMW cut another fired up promo about making these shithead kids pay. XXX walk on and shoot their shot at the titles when they win them back, Skipper says it's XXX 4 and it's AMW 1, and it's time to see whose better in the 6 sided ring. Hell yes.

Match#6 The Naturals vs America's Most Wanted (Ladder match-Title Shot & Clothes vs Gutcheck list)
AMW are pissed and it's a classic hate filled AMW brawl with loads of cool shit and nasty ladder shots on these fucking punk kids. The Nats are still very raw and green and the ladder stuff is not who they are, but they adapt well after a few shaky moment to start. Andy takes a wicked backdrop on the ladder and fucks himself up. XXX are shown watching on the stage, and it's nice that TNA actually did a good thing for once. Chase takes over with ladder shots and it's all basic, but mean enough that it works on the level that everything else they do works. Storm gets thrown through a table on the outside and hits it at a really bad angle on the side of his back. Harris fights alone and does well for himself keeping Andy out as he deals with Chase. Andy gets the chair and brains him, and the Nats are on the short list for best chair shot guys for the 2000's. Dudes don't give a shit, and i love it.They wreak Harris with chairs and ladders, AND CHASE HITS A WONDERFUL MOONSAULT ON HARRIS WHOSE IN BETWEEN THE LADDER. FUCK YEAH. The Nats keep beating his ass for a while, and eventually Storm comes back alive with a superkick on Andy, and now all 4 dudes are back in the ring. Harris kills Chase with a sunset bomb off the ladder, and Andy takes out Storm with the chair. He climbs up and jumps for the bag, AND HARRIS KILLS HIM WITH A MID AIR SPEAR. FUCK YES. HE TAKES OUT ANDY AND GRABS THE BAG TO WIN.
***1/4

Post match, AMW grab the mic and say they proved everyone wrong and they're demanding their rematch next week in a SIX SIDED STEEL CAGE MATCH. SHIT YEAH.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

TNA IMPACT
July 16th, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 XXX vs vs Nosawa & Kazushi Miyamoto
Good babyface squash for XXX. Wish it was against someone good, but i'll take what i can get. Powerplexxx ends it
**

Post match, Roode and Petey walk down and talk shit on the ramp.

Another Sabu/Raven recap.

Match#2 Sabu vs. Alastair Ralphs
A1 makes his debut as fodder for Sabu. He's famously very bad at wrestling, but he's Canadian and trained by D'Amore, so we're stuck with him. Sabu sells for his shitty offence before running through him and winning with the Triple jump moonsault
*3/4

Recap of AMW/Nats.

Match#3 Alex Shelley w/Abyss & Goldylocks vs Roderick Strong.
TNA booking ROH dream matches before them is sick. Roddy is a chubby child at this point, but he's very, very good, and a perfect guy for Shelley to do cool shit with because he knows him so damn well. Shelley does a ton of cool shit and Goldy loves it all, and Abyss is a sad monster. Roddy goes on a sick run of backbreakers and knees before Alex shuts him down and wins with the gross Brainbuster
**3/4

Match#4 Monty Brown vs Lex Lovett
Killer Monty squash and i lovvett, hey oh. POUUUUUUNCE gets the win
**

Post match, Monty gets the mic and says Jeff Jarrett just saw the alpha male on his battle field, and Jeff is next.

In a pre-tape, Jeff Jarrett is interviewed by one of the terrible nascar fuckheads. It's the same points as his last promo about taking out everyone that's put in front of him, and Russo can't stop him. Nascar guy says Jeff Hardy will be on the PPV, and Jeff says he might take out Jeff. Oh joy.

Match#5 America's Most Wanted vs SHAZARIAN w/Traci.
Love to see TNA finally fix this division after nearly two years. Sadly this gets jiped by the add break and we miss a lot of work, but what we do get is very fun for 5 or so minutes that we do see. It goes to the 10 minute time limit, which they shouldn't use two weeks in a row, but TNA is TNA for a reason.
**

JB announces that Dusty has declared AMW as the winners which is some bullshit.

The Nats attack AMW until XXX make the save to close the show

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

NWA-TNA PPV#104
July 21st, 2004
TNA Asylum

Match#1 Triple X vs Abismo Negro & Mr. Aguila
Another good showcase for the reunited XXX. Like i said, it's sweet that this division is finally good and not the hideous waste of time it's been for over a year. Daniels beats Abismo with Angels Wings
**

Post match, respect is show with handshakes.

We get a shot of a plane that is waiting for Jeff Hardy. Much safer than letting him drive tbh.

In the back, Hudson is with Monty Brown. THE APLHA MALE HAS BEATEN EVERYONE PUT IN FRONT OF HIM AND POOOOOOOUNCED THEM ALL. Jeff Jarrett beat some kitty cats to win the title, but that ain't nothing to him. Killings walks on and says he's in denial and is delusional, and he beat him last time they locked horns and he should go back to the NFL. Monty says he's going to pounce the entire 3LK to prove his point. This is his playing field.

I will not be watching any of the NYC nonsense, so that's nearly 25 minutes of this skipped. God Bless.

In the carpark, Dusty Rhodes arrives in a limo.

In the back, Hudson is with Goldy and Shelley. She's now doing a terrible English accent just to make matters a little worse. She wants more contracts so she's putting up a challenge "Money vs Contracts" of any wrestler who wants a shot. D-Ray 3000 walks on stoned out of his brain and accidentally accepts the challenge because he likes money.

Match#2 Abyss vs Sabu (Falls count anywhere)
This is happening after last week's fight where Sabu got taken out. DW says Raven is doing a wonderful job of getting into Sabu's head without ever showing up for work. They brawl all over the ramp, and it's good because Sabu is the best and Abyss works incredibly well with him. Sabu has awesome punches and knocks Abyss off the stage and sends him through a table and poor Abyss smacks the back of his head off the rail. He kicks out, but he's clearly fucked up as a result. Sabu brains him with a few chair shots just to ruin his life a little more, and bless him for it. Sabu keeps breaking his brain with chair shots and cool moves to the head, but the big man keeps kicking out. He finally cuts him and throws him face first into a chair and kills him with the Shock Treatment to further hurt him. Abyss throws a chair at his knees when he tries a springboard and Sabu falls out of the ring, and it's a cool moment. They brawl through the crowd and Sabu legdrops him through a table off the bleachers. He goes all the way up to put him through another one, but the lights go out AND WHEN THEY COME BACK ON RAVEN IS THERE AND HE HAS A NOOSE AROUND HIS NECK AND HE CHOKES HIM AND DROPS HIM OFF THE BALCONY AND SABU LANDS ON A TABLE, BUT IT DOESN'T BREAK, SO RAVEN ELBOW DROPS HIM THROUGH IT AND THROWS ABYSS ON TOP FOR THE WIN. FUCK YEAH.
***

In the back, SHAZARIAN declare AJ Styles is a loser who doesn't belong in their division. They promise to give each other the title shot when Russo gives one of them the title.

In the back, AJ is getting his knee checked and it doesn't look good.

Chris Sabin joins Lynn to take AJ's place.

Match#3 Chris Sabin & Jerry Lynn vs SHAZARIAN w/Traci
Lynn without his beard looks 20 years older, so it's funny as hell that he did it to look younger. It's nice to see Sabin getting showcased again after months of the team TNA bullshit had him suffering for so long. He looks great as always, and he helps the heels out with some huge bumps and nutty offence. Control on him is pretty fun with Sabin going out of his way again to help them out. Lynn's hot tag is short and bad, so whatever. Kaz goes for WOF, but AJ' distracts him and Lynn rolls him up for the win.
**

Post match, AJ attacks them with his crutch and clears the ring. He gets the mic and says they can both have a shot next week! He says they think they own the X-Division, so they're going to compete in a match he's never been in. The match that put TNA on the map, ULTIMATE X. FUCK YES.

In the back, Hudson is with Raven who now has a sick handlebar. Raven says he knows Sabu wanted him retired or dead so they wouldn't need to do this. He remembers Sheik crying to his God about having such a weak nephew when he could have had Raven as his nephew. He says this week on Impact, it's fight or flight for Sabu. Welcome to the terrodome.

Recap of Jeff Hardy's debut and Dusty's attempts to sign him.

In the ring, Tenay brings out Dusty Rhodes. He drops his catchphrases and thanks Russo for letting him chase someone he believes will take TNA to the next level. He went all over North Carolina looking for this man and he found him, and here is the newest member of the TNA roster, Jeff Hardy. He comes out all dressed in white dancing like a complete tool and he has a bleached goatie, and holy shit his amazing 2006-09 run can't come quick enough for me. (it'll be decades before i review it lmao) He signs the contract and grabs a bottle of champagne. JEFF DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE. Dusty says Jeff isn't here to be another body or for the money, he's here for the NWA Worlds Championship and his contract has exactly that written in it. Monty comes out none too pleased about, and i can't blame him at all. He says he doesn't care where he worked or what he did, the title shot is HIS. He is one pounce away from taking the title. Jarrett's music then hits and he comes out as well. Also, he's wearing that fucking tuxedo again. Fucking kill me. He runs them all down in classic lame slapnut fashion. He singles out Jeff and brings up all the people he ran out, and tells him not to bother unpacking his bag. He slaps him and a fight breaks out, and it's not too shabby at all. Jeff looks really good beating the fuck out of this dork, and i wish the rest of his run was this good. Jeff kills him with the Swanton, but he turns into the POUUUNCE when he gets back up. They fight and Jeff gets the best of it, but Jarrett is back up and brains Hardy with the guitar.

In a pre-tape, Tenay sat down with Kid Kash & Dallas. Kid says he's not allowed to talk about why he was suspended, so he needs to shut up. He rants about AJ Styles being protected by TNA and how Russo and TNA kiss his ass, and treat the rest of them like crap. He gets the DVD's and posters after 4 years, and it's a load of crap. Tenay asks why he's better than AJ, and Kash says everywhere he's been he's been a champion and he's been treated with respect, and AJ has done none of that. Kash is the most well rounded athlete in the world, and he's exciting unlike AJ and AMW. Kash says he and Dallas are two big bad juggalos. Christ. Kash asks if TNA has learnt anything from this, before he storms off.

NEXT WEEK. UX4. JEFF HARDY VS MONTY BROWN IN A NUMBER 1 CONTENDER'S MATCH.

In the back, Hudson is with AMW. Harris says last year they made history with the first cage match in company history, and they'll prove they're the best team in the world. Storm tells the Nats to look in a mirror because they'll never look like that again. XXX walk and repeat they're 4-1 against each other, and he wants some poetic justice by winning the titles from them so it can be 5-1.

Hype for AMW/Nats.

Team Canada, XXX and 3LK are all watching in the crowd and on the stage.

Match#4 The Naturals (c) vs America's Most Wanted (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championship-SIX SIDES OF STEEL)
Big pier 6 to start and AMW exact bloody revenge now that the Nats can't run or pull any bullshit like the last time they fought. Chase gets busted open and has the piss beaten out of him, and it's good for the soul watching him die. Andy gets fucked up next and he takes a some wicked bumps into the cage to really kiss it and bleed like a stuck pig. Harris is really on one tonight as he's got all the fire and anger. He gets too into it, and ends up getting thrown into the steel and busted open, and he's a good bleeder, but Andy Douglas tops him with a goddam gusher. Great control on Harris with the Nats again stepping up in a big way and doing everything they can to be pieces of shit. Storm has a fun hot tag and he fucks them up like his mama used to do him as a kid. AMW beat their asses all over the ring and Harris breaks out his amazing spear on Douglas and sends him right in the cage. It breaks down and all 4 dudes go crazy trying to end it. Chase hits his sick moonsault off the top onto them, and this dude has some serious talent and it sucks they'll both be done in a few short years. Harris and Chase fight on top and both fall out onto the floor in a really scary moment. Team Canada show up and attack Harris on the outside and all the other teams fight down and a giant brawl breaks out. D'Amore breaks the hockey stick on Harris back, and Storm is all alone. Chase climbs back over with a chair as Storm fights like hell, but Chase kills him with another series of fucked up chair shots and the Nats retain the titles.
***

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

TNA Impact
July 23rd, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Jarrelle Clarke
Sick as hell AJ squash for a few minutes. Clarke takes a wonderful beating for our hero, and it's a crime his career never went further. He gets a run of offence and it's rad, but AJ shuts him down and ends his night with the Styles Clash,
**3/4

Post match, SHAZARIAN and Traci walk out on stage and talk some shit.

Mystery hype video for someone...

Match#2 Alex Shelley & Abyss w/Goldylocks vs Abismo Negro & Mr Aguila
Another awesome one for the Baby Bear and the big man. Shelley gets to do some cool lucha stuff with the jobbers, and it's a blast. Abyss gets in and murders them and hits the BHS, but Shelley blind tags and hits his brainbuster and steals the win as Abyss is pinning the other guy on the other side of the ring. Oh crap.
**3/4

Recap of Hardy/Jarrett/Monty.

Match#3 Monty Brown vs. Antonio Banks
Monty squashes a very young MVP. Awesome stuff as always and MVP takes a nice beating to his credit. POUNCE ends it
**

Match#4 Team Canada w/Scott D'Amore vs Chris Sabin, Amazing Red, Sonjay Dutt & Mikey Batts.
Too many bodies and bad wrestlers in this to be good, sadly. Sabin doesn't get to do much as he's shunted so Dutt and Batts can have time, despite being bad. Petey beats Batts with his stupid finish.
1/2*

Hype for Raven making his Impact Debut.

Match#5 Raven vs Kid Romeo
RAVEN HAS HIS THEME BACK, THANK YOU JESUS. Great squash from my junkie poet hero, and gosh i've missed him so much. Raven drops Romeo's head on the rail 3 times and kills him just to do it. EVENFLOW ends it.
**1/2

Post match, Sabu walks through the crowd and stares Raven down, and Raven slaps him. SABU FINALLY FIGHTS BACK AND DIVES ON HIM AND A GREAT FIGHT HAPPENS BEFORE THE CAMERA CUTS AWAY.

Match#6 Jeff Jarrett w/Elite Guard vs Shark Boy
Jeff beats the piss out of poor Sharky and it's the best he's looked in months and months. Almost like he's suited as a mid-card top heel beating up low carder, and not the world fucking champion with a stranglehold on a title. He beats him up on the outside for a few minutes because he only knows one thing, and it's a good thing to be fair. Sharky has a killer comeback and the crowd comes unglued for him, and my heart warms. Sadly, Jeff beats him with the Stroke like a real fuck.
**3/4

Post match, Jeff gets the mic and calls out Hardy so he can run him out of TNA. He gets his guitar and smashes it over Sharky's head. Hardy comes out and they fight and Hardy gets the best of him, BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, MONTY RUNS OUT AND POUNCES HIM DEAD AND GOES NOSE TO NOSE WITH JARRETT TO CLOSE THE SHOW

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; AJ Styles-9/6/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

NWA-TNA PPV#105
July 28th, 2004
TNA Asylum

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs Petey Williams & Bobby Roode w/Scott D'Amore
AMW are angry and we get the 100th killer opening from them as this feud finally takes life in a match. It settles down and Storm is isolated after D'Amore hits him with a belt, and he matches up really well with Bobby Roode for some reason... Harris gets the hot tag, but he's isolated thanks to D'Amore also hitting him with his belt, and Roode beats his ass. Really good work from him, and i can't wait for the next few years. Petey is also in this match. Storm's hot tag is very fun and he pinballs the heels all over the place. It breaks down and Storm kills Roode with the Superkick to win.
**3/4

Post match, AMW get a hold of D'Amore and whip him with the belt, but the rest of Team Canada run out and overwhelm them and D'Amore hits them with the belts. XXX run down for the save. I smell a strap match.

In the back, Hudson is with Jarrett. Same fucking promo as always. Go fuck yourself.

Match#2 Alex Shelley & Abyss w/Goldylocks vs D-Ray 3000 & Shark Boy (Money vs Contracts)
Super fun squash again, even if this angle is terrible and Goldy needs to be fired into the sun. Abyss does all the work and Shelley steals the glory like on Impact. Shark Boy starts beating him up and bouncing all over, and Abyss turns his back on the tag!!!! Sadly, he tags in and murders everyone. He beats 3000 with BHS
**

Post match, Goldy and Shelley celebrate, but fucking Desire and Siaki attack them for some reason. Don't you dare.

In the back, Goldy is very angry about this, and cuts a bad promo about it. Desiree and Sony walk on and accept the challenge for money vs contracts, and Goldy says Sonny has to face Abyss.

Recap of Sabu/Raven

In the ring, Tenay covers the entire story and says Sabu has accepted a match next week against Raven, but it will be their only match as he's done with this forever. Raven comes out dressed as the Sheik, and even has the spike. He kicks Tenay out of the ring and shouts he's been a God for 16 years, and he's waited for his chance to pummel Sabu into oblivion. He calls Sabu a coward and says this will be done on his terms, and he wants it right now. He knows Sabu is hiding somewhere, so he's going to get him out here right now. He takes off the clothes and dumps them in a trash can and pours some petrol in it. He says this isn't enough for him, so he gets out of the ring and drags out a bodybag from underneath the ring, AND HE HAS SONJAY DUTT IN IT. YEAH KILL HIM. HE SHOVES HIM INTO THE CAN AND SAYS SABU HAS 10 SECONDS TO SAVE HIM. He counts down and the lights go out and Sau shows up and another sick brawl breaks out. Sabu kills him with a nasty chair shot and dives on him!! Blackshirts break it up, and Sabu shouts "get the fuck off me" What a thing.

In the back, Hudson is with the Nats. Andy says they've won 75% of the time against AMW, and that makes them better than them and makes them better than XXX.

Match#3 The Naturals (c) vs Triple X (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
XXX own them to start and the Nats take another very good beating, and i will spend the rest of my life singing their praises. Even if no one will ever hear me. Chase suplexs Skipper on the floor to hurt him, and we get a very good control seg from them. Skipper gets choked with the tag rope and really beaten down, and i adore the simplicity of the control segs the Nats give me. Control lasts a few minutes and it gets better as it goes on, and bless Skipper for really getting his ass kicked for them. Daniels has a wonderful hot tag and beats the piss out of them. He hits Chase with the BME and has it won,. but Douglas drags the ref out to save. Daniels keeps cleaning house, but D'Amore runs out and distracts him and the Nats hit Natural Selection to win.
**3/4

Post match, all of Team Canada run down and beat them down until AMW make the save to return the favour. Storm swears revenge on them and the Nats because they're the best. Skipper gets the mic and says he's had enough of this, they ain't all that and they need to prove it. He shoves them and the camera cuts away before we see what happened.

In the back, Hudson is with Monty Brown. Cocaine promo about Jeff being his next victim after Hardy finds out how dangerous the serengeti actually is. It's the year of the Alpha Male and he will kill and cripple Killings if he tries him. Ron walks on and tells him to teach him a lesson, and a fight breaks out!! 3LK drag Truth away.

Match#4 Jeff Hardy vs Monty Brown (#1 Contenders Match)
Jeff has half his face painted and looks to be out of it. Not Victory Road out of it (God, that'll be fun to cover) but still not good. Monty mostly controls and works half speed as 2004 Jeff isn't worth breaking your back over. Jeff is terrible as hell with lazy half-hearted bumps and no effort on anything. He makes a bad comeback and does everything bad and nearly breaks his neck on a rana attempt, which is very funny. Jeff goes for the swanton, but Jarrett runs down and drags Monty out and Jeff eats shit. Monty gets up and yells at him to stay out of it! He gets in and misses the Pounce, and Jeff gets a bad rollup to win.
1/2*

Post match, Hardy and Jarrett have a bad fight and Hardy goes for the guitar, but Monty kills him with the Pounce. 3LK run down for the save. Dusty comes out to steal some heat as always, and declares Jeff Hardy as the next NWA worlds champ, and poor Truth has to clap for this bullshit. Russo now comes out and whispers something in Dusty's ear and the fat man flips out and screams that he gave his word. They walks off and the crowd is deader than dead. Horrrrrrible, horrrible horrible stuff.

In the back, Shazarian cut bad promos about the main event being their domain.

NEXT WEEK.
Money vs contracts
AMW vs Team Canada in a country whipping match.
Raven vs Sabu

In the back, Hudson is with Russo. Dusty waddles on and screams that he went to North Carolina to make this happen and he gave him his word, and this is bullshit. He shoves the camera over and keeps screaming he gave his word.

Match#5 AJ Styles (c) vs Frankie Kazarian vs Micheal Shane w/Traci (NWA-TNA X-Divison Championship-Ultimate X)
*Shane and Kaz both climb up to start and AJ is forced to drag them both off and beat their asses down so he can have a chance to climb.
*AJ climb up and Shane tries to powerbomb him off, but AJ turns into a pitch perfect rana!
*AJ shows off his gymnastics background by flipping over the wires with ease, and it's insane how quick he gets this.
*He grabs the title, but Kaz dropkicks his knees and AJ takes a hideous bump right onto his face.
*SHAZARIAN team up and attack his knee, and AJ has some great selling, which further adds to the match.
*The heels miscommunicate and AJ is able to fight back on them
*AJ throws Kaz out of the ring and Kaz catches his ribs on the buckles, and AJ kills him with a goddamn stunning running summersault dive.
*AJ and Shane fight in ring and AJ gets pulled off the wires and lands on the ropes throat first.
*AJ does theJoe's rana spot and smashes Shane's head into the rails and the steps!!!
*Kaz gets close to climbing back up, but AJ runs in and dropkicks him to the mat.
*They fight one on one and it's not as good because Kaz is Kaz.
*Shane is a bloody mess and has some sick concussion selling.
*AJ climbs up and gets close, but Kaz hits a sick running liger bomb to drop him to the mat
*They climb back up and Kaz ends up upside down trying to unhook the title, AND AJ WRAPS HIS LEGS AROUND HIM AND HITS AN UNHOOKED FUCKING STYLES CLASH AND KILLS HIM DEAD. OH FUCKING GOD YES.
*Shane gets back in and Superkicks AJ with all his might and it's the best one he's ever done.
* AJ fights back and kills him with the Styles Clash and he's finally free to climb, but Traci pulls him down, SO HE KILLS HER WITH THE PELE KICK.
HE climbs back up, but fucking Kid Kash runs down and hits him over the back with his crutch and AJ is dead.
*SHAZRIAN both climb up and grab the title and both get it and fall down with both guys holding it
*JB announces them as CO CHAMPIONS
***1/2

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; SHAZARIAN-28/7/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

TNA Impact
July 30th, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 Jeff Jarrett w/Elite Guard vs Lex Lovett
Jeff opening the show like a man of his status should. Fine enough squash for 3 or so minutes. Stroke does it.
*

Recap of SHAZRIAN winning the title.

Match#2 Kid Kash w/Dallas vs Mikey Batts
Nice to have him back in ring, and he looks really good after a few weeks away. Batts has some good bumps for him, and really helps a ton. Dusty and Russo argue at ringside to take away from the match like the assholes they are. Moneymaker ends the match that was more important than that horseshit.
*3/4

Hype video for Raven

Match#3 Bobby Roode & Petey Willams w/Scott D'Amore vs Jerrelle Clark & Mark Launroff
Fine squash for Team Canada. Would be great to see EY get some ring time instead of these two every show, but whatever. Clark is awesome again going nuts on offence and showing everyone what ROH fans have known, he's the best. Petey beats him with his stupid fucking finish
*

Post match, Russo walks back out and tells the commentators to stop talking about him and Dusty. The fat man walks on and they argue again. Fuck off.

Match#4 Jeff Hardy vs Kid Romeo
Terrible Hardy squash. Dude is high as fuck and doesn't give a single shit about having a good match. Just a massive shithead. Swanton ends our pain
poop

Match#5 Triple X vs SHAZRIAN w/Traci
Fun 6 minute main event. XXX are once again very good babyfaces and SHAZARIAN are at a point when they no longer suck and can counted on to do their jobs. Good control on Daniels this time, and it's all good basics with some great selling on top of it. Skipper's hot tag is short but rad before it breaks down. Shane hits Skipper with the belt behind the refs back, so AJ runs down and attacks them for the DQ
**1/2

Kash runs down and fights AJ, and then Team Canada and AMW join and a massive brawl happens to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; SHAZARIAN-28/7/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

NWA-TNA PPV#106 A NIGHT OF REVENGE
August 4th, 2004
TNA Asylum

In the carpark, Dusty drives in and is met by Hudson. He says sorry about his anger last week , and he's spoken to Russo twice this week and everything is good.Tonight there will be the naming of a new championship committee, and he's very happy about it. David Young walks on and says he's leaving. Dusty laughs and says his losing streak must have gotten to him.

Absolute sick hype video for Rave/Sabu

Match#1 Raven vs Sabu (No DQ)
SABU FINALLY ATTACKS HIM RIGHT AWAY AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF RAVEN, AND IT'S SO MUCH FUN. Raven takes a killer beating and Sabu is on one as always, but even more so with everything that's happened in the last weeks. Sabu uses the spike and rips Raven to shreds, but he gets too into it and Raven backdrops him out and over through a table and Sabu hurts his knee. Raven rams a chair into his throat a few times and really fucks him up, and it's everything i adore about these two. He throws him into chairs and clobbers him, and then fishhooks him just to be a bigger piece of shit for no reason. Raven hits two drop toe holds into the chair and Sabu takes them flush to the face, but on the third he jumps over the chair and kicks Raven in the face to finally stop it. He goes nuts with chair shots and even locks in the camel clutch as a proper fuck you. He keeps at it and hits one of the nastiest Arabian facebusters ever to smash Raven's face into the chair, and the sound is fuuuuucked. Raven manages to fight back and shoots off the EVENFLOW, AND SABU KICKS OUT. HOLY SHIT YEAH, THAT'S HOW IT'S MEANT TO BE DONE. They fight on top of a table and Raven kicks out the bad knee and hits another gross EVENFLOW though a table to win .
***1/2

In the carpark, a limo speeds in and hits a trash can and D-Ray 3000 gets out of the drivers seat in a suit, and he's very confused and says he hit nothing.Hudson asks him what happened, and 3000 says he needs to get to the TNA Asylum tonight, and Hudson says he's already here. Shark Boy runs over with plate of cocktails, and Shelly gets out and yells at him for not taking the tails off of them and demands he peels them right away. Goldy gets out and tells them to get the baggage, AND THEY OPEN THE BOOT TO LET ABYSS OUT. AMAZING. Abyss destroys the cocktails.

Hype for Abyss/Sonny

Match#2 Abyss w/Goldylocks vs Sonny Siaki w/Desiree (Money vs Contract)
Dreadful as hell as Sonny is dogshit as always, and Abyss doesn't just murder him in 10 seconds. All the bullshit hits with multiple run in and shit, and then Abyss wins with the BHS.
1/2*

Post match, Goldy and Shelley celebrate and Abyss is very sad.

In the back, SHAZARIAN is standing by. Shane says Russo has something planned for the title, but they will never wrestle each other no matter what anyone says. Kaz says they will show they own the X-Division.

Match#3 SHAZARIAN w/Traci vs Chris Sabin & Jerry Lynn
Same level as last time with Sabin doing his best to carry it, and the heels doing well for themselves. Lynn is also in this match and that's just swell. Sabin is isolated and it's fine enough, but it sets up Lynn as the hot tag, which is not fine because he sucks. He takes out Traci, but it lets the heels knock him out of the ring and Sabin is beaten by a superkick
3/4*

Monty Brown hype video

In the back, Hudson is with Monty. He's very interested to hear what Russo has to say, and he better say what he wants to hear or he's going to end up on the endangered species list.

In the ring, Russo has a mic and it's time our weekly dose of bullshit, bros and sisters. He says this feels like Déjà vu after 10 years of being in wrestling and dealing with all the politics in WWF and WCW, and he took his ball home twice, but he's not that man anymore. He has inner peace and he's doing the right thing and not leaving. The fans boo this. He says he spoke to Tenay about the X-Title and tag titles and they'll fill us in later, but he needs to talk about the championship committee that will take the burden off his back. He says the first man was so big they knew him in NYC. A 7 time world champion, that man is Harley Race. The second man is tradition, and that man is Larry Zbyszko. The last man is someone he's had problems with, but they've put it aside for the betterment of TNA. We get a cut in on of a very happy Dusty and AMW, and the third man is TERRY FUNK. HAHAHAHHAAHHAAH FUCK YOU DUSTY. Russo announces Hardy vs Jarrett for the world title in the future and the committee will decide on the date. The fat man walks out and he's very sad and stuff. He says Russo sent him to sign Jeff Hardy over those men, and he bought him here. Russo says that's true and he gave him a match with Jarrett in return, but his temper and love of the game has him too close to the game to make proper decisions. That's quite fair. Dusty says it should be Jeff vs Jeff tonight. He demands to know why he picked Funk when everyone knows their history, and Russo rightly points out that's exactly why he can't be part of this. Jarrett now comes out and laughs at all of this. Tenay announces a 20 man gauntlet for the gold for X title, and Team Canada vs 3LK in a #1 contenders match, and a best of three series between XXX and AMW.

Jeff gets into the ring and says he'll give credit to Russo for doing the smart thing, but he knows it's because he's threatened by Dusty. Jeff runs down Dusty for a while, and the fat man struts around the ring like a real scumbag. Dusty challenges him to fight, and Russo shakes his head and gets out. They fight and it's fine, i guess. Jeff goes for the guitar but Hardy saves and beats him down in bad fashion. Monty runs out and pounces Dusty and beats up Hardy. Truth runs out and fights Monty and helps Jeff clean house. Horrible segment.

Hype for AMW/Canada

Match#4 America's Most Wanted vs Bobby Roode & Petey Williams w/Scott D'Amore (Country Whipping Match)
They work legal man rules like real assholes, and i hate it soooooo sooo much. The whipping is very good though and Roode is awesome again with AMW, so it evens out. Harris gets beaten and isolated and it's good shit. His back is all welted and purple, and it's an amazing visual. It breaks down as always, but it should't need to had this been worked correctly. It rules as you'd expect with gross shots and lots of close calls. Storm breaks out the 8 second ride for the first time in a year and they go for the kill, but D'Amore gets involved again with the fucking stick, and i am SO fucking done with this shit. AMW fight back and beat Petey with a superkick
**1/4

Post match, Storm grabs D'Amore and AMW finally kill him dead for a while, but the rest of Team Canada save. They beat them down until XXX make the save.

In the back, The Naturals say they've beaten both AMW and XXX, so their the best. Fair point

NEXT WEEK
AMW vs XXX in the first match.
Team Canada vs 3LK in a number 1 contenders match
gauntlet for the gold for the X-Division championship.

Hype for Kash/AJ

Match#5 AJ Styles vs Kid Kash w/Dallas (Winner is #20 in the gauntlet)
Kash in a back brace for this. Awesome mat wrestling to start and AJ more than holds his own and makes Kash eat shit. He keeps it up and beats him to the punch every single time, and Kash is thrown off and pissed as hell about being owned. AJ keeps it up and breaks out the amazing running backflip dropkick to the chest, and it's so goddamn perfect and amazing, and fuck him for being SO good at pro wrestling. He hits a moonsault on Dallas, and the big lug fucks up the timing and AJ smashes his knees into the back of his head. Kash hits a sweet slingshot rana to finally take over, and the control seg is wonderful as hell. He's mean and viscous, but petty and horrible and it's a great mix of stuff. AJ takes insane bumps for him as you'd expect. Kash bends him all the way back on a surfboard and then flips him forward and AJ takes a gross faceplant off it. Just crazy stuff like that. Dallas also attacks him with bad stuff, and AJ sells it well because he's the best. Styles mounts a killer comeback with some wicked speed that puts Kash on the backfoot and leaves scrambling as AJ gets closer and closer to the win. The bullshit hits with Dallas getting involved again, but AJ survives it AND HE HITS A MOTHERFUCKER OF A ROLLING LARIAT TO KNOCK KASH OUT AND HE GETS THE WIN.
***1/4

Post match, Dallas attacks him, but Sabin and Lynn save him. All the X-Division dudes, AMW, 3LK and Team Canada all run down and a giant fucking fight happens to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; SHAZARIAN-28/7/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

TNA IMPACT
August 6th, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs Sal Rinauro & Antonio Banks
Really fun AMW showcase for their best of 3 series on the PPV. Sal is an all time 2000's skinny job guy, and he takes a great beating for them. Death Sentence beats Sal
**

Post match, Team Canada attack for the 500th time! 3LK and XXX fight as well and help to get rid of them. The Naturals watch on the stage. Fuck it, at least they've got teams for once.

Monty hype video.

Match#2 Monty Brown vs Bruce Steele
Standard good Monty squash. POUUUUUUUUNCE ends it
*3/4

Raven walks out with his head bandaged and Sabu jumps over the announce table and fights him until blackshirts drags him off.

AJ Styles hype video

Coming back, Sabu and Raven are still fighting and it's rad as fuck.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Jason Cross
This episode is mostly showcases and i love it tbh. AJ gets a few minutes to do his thing and it's sick as hell. Also helps that Cross is a great bumper for all of his stuff. Styles Clash ends it.
**

Match#4 Jeff Hardy vs Gabriel
The streak.....is over. Horrible stuff from this lazy sloppy shithead, and i loathe how much i hate him at this point. Swanton does it.
1/2*

At ringside, Tenay says we'll find out the date of Jeff vs Jeff on the PPV this week, and Jarrett storms out very mad and demands Hardy come out and fight him. Jeff shows up and a terrible brawl breaks out. Hardy is sloppy as fuck and everything looks bad, and JJ's awesome bumps can't save it. The Elite Guard run out and Jeff beats them all up with his bad offence. Jarrett hits him in the face with the title and locks in the figure four. Truth runs down and chases Jeff off. Russo and Dusty walk to check on Jeff and they argue with each other. I want to see this title match less and less every week. It's basically the reverse of Raven/Jarrett.


Match#5 Shazarian, Kid Kash & Petey Willams vs Triple X, Chris Sabin vs Sonjay Dutt
There's 400 people at ringside. This is touted as a showcase for the gauntlet, which is a damming thing given how bad some of these dorks are. Looking at you, Petey and Sonjay. We lose a lot in the add break and i'm not sad about it. There's a ton of botches and bad stuff, and i'm heartbroken at how bad this is. Dutt hits the Himalayan Press on Kaz, but Raven runs down and kills him with the EVENFLOW and Petey steals the win.
1/2*

Another massive bad brawl breaks out to end the show. Fuck this

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; SHAZARIAN-28/7/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

NWA-TNA PPV#107
August 11th, 2004
TNA Asylum

In the back, Team Canada cut a bad promo about beating American's.

Match#1 BG James & Konnan vs Eric Young & Johnny Devine w/Scott D'Amore (#1 Contenders Match)
FUCK. The absolute worst three options for both groups. EY rules a ton at this point, but he's not a miracle worker and can't do shit to save it. Bad control seg on BG with bad offence and lots of D'Amore getting involved. Maybe Anthem were right to fire him after all. Some bullshit hits and D'Amore hits Konnan with the stick and Team Canada steal the win. Sadly, Dusty come out and tells the ref and the match is restarted. OH FUCKING NO. Konnan rolls though a crossbody and pins EY to win.
Dogshit.

Post match, Team Canada hold D'Amore back from fighting Dusty. Russo comes out and another argument breaks out.

Recap of Abyss/Sonny.

In the back, Goldy is forcing Sonny to massage her feet, and he doesn't like it because he's not a foot freak like a real dude. Shark Boy is being used a foot stool as well. 3000 walks on and Goldy is mad that he stunk out the toilet, and he says he had to dump it. Abyss shows up and she yells at him for it, and says he's hideous and isn't part of this group and he needs to leave her sight.

Desiree brings out Ekmo aka Umaga to accept the challenge. God yes.

Match#2 Alex Shelley w/Goldylocks vs Ekmo w/Desiree(Money vs Contracts)
Ekmo bounces him around the ring and it's a lot of fun to see him back, even if it's only one night. Shelley gets his ass beaten and takes some wicked bumps for him. Ekmo misses a splash and hurts his knee. He still kills Shelley for a while, and this is basically a squash. The bullshit hits with a bad catfight, and Abyss runs down two motherfucking unprotected chairshots and the black hole slam, and Shelley steals it
**

IN THE CROWD, SABU HAS RAVEN IN A DOG COLLAR AND THEY FIGHT TO THE RING. Sabu throws chairs at him and chokes him with the chain, and Tenay says this isn't over because Sabu never won the match. Raven yanks Sabu out of the ring into the guardrail to hurt his ribs, and he beats the fuck out of him in revenge. Sonjay runs out to save and helps Sabu turn the tide. They keep fighting until Raven finally gets free and runs for it. Amazing stuff.

Hype for Jeff vs Jeff.

In the ring, Tenay announces Jeff vs Jeff will take place on September 8th on PPV. (it's actually the last PPV, and i can't fucking wait). Monty Brown comes out now and he's very mad about this, and demands he gets the winner so he can POUUUUUUUUUNCE them. Truth comes out now and gets the mic, and says running your mouth gets you nothing and Jeff Hardy earned this. Lol no he didn't They fight and it's way better than anything they did in 02, so fuck yeah. They fight for a while until blackshirts and refs break it up. Dusty walks out and makes a match between them next week. He has no power here.

In the back, Shane is with Russo, and asks whose really in charge. Russo says he's DOA and everyone knows this, including Dusty. Jarrett walks on and says this entire thing is a joke and Dusty is going to get his job and everyone knows it. He's been trying to do it the right way, but he has no friends who would stand by his side, AND AJ STYLES WALKS ON AND SPINS JEFF AROUND AND THEY GO NOSE TO NOSE. He says Russo is doing the right things for TNA and he supports him 100%. Jeff calls him a brown-noser, AND AJ PUNCHES HIM AND THEY HAVE A SICK FIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS. FUCKING GIVE ME THIS MATCH. They brawl into the Asylum and it's so good and awesome, and everything we've needed for months and months. They get into the ring and Jeff boots him in the fucking dick and tries the clash, but Monty storms out and goes eye to eye with Jeff, and AJ dives off the top rope to knock them both down. AJ and Jeff fight, BUT MONTY HITS THE BEST POUNCE EVER AND TURNS ASJ INSIDE OUT. Truth runs down and fights them as well, and hey, that rocks as well. The numbers get the best of him for a while, and that charismatic enigma Jeff Hardy runs down and badly beats them up and stands tall. Incredible stuff until he showed up to ruin it.

Hype for AMW/XXX

Match#3 Triple X vs America's Most Wanted (Best of 3 series, match#1)
Here we go again. Wonderful feeling out to start now that both sides are babyfaces, and it's a cool change of pace from the absolute wild brawls from last year. Everyone gets their moments to shine and it all works so well, and it's even smoother than last year in terms of pure ring work. AMW seem to move ahead and are able to hit double team moves quicker than XXX, so XXX go to speed to counteract and it works well as they isolate Harris. Really good control seg with Skipper leading the way with wicked spots and some really good neck work. Storm gets the hot tag and turns the tide again for a moment, but Daniels pulls him out of the ring and slams him back first into the rail to take him out, and then it all breaks down. Harris finally cuts off the rana walk with a gross elbow to knock Skipper off the ropes to the floor. Tons of close calls and awesome counters. Daniels and Harris crash into each other and Daniels re-injures his bad shoulder, and Harris hits a spear and gets the 3!
***

Post match, AMW check on Daniels, and Skipper gets very mad and shoves them away.

In the back, Douglas is with Raven. Shane says he's known them for years and he knows what makes them tick, and Sonjay has put a challenge on Sabu's behalffor Hangman's Horror 2. Raven says he got rid of Vampiro last time, and Sabu has no chance in hell. Raven says he broke the oath because he's better than him, and because Sabu is nothing but a publicity stunt that Paul Heyman created. He will retire him next week.

Match#4 Gauntlet for the Gold (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
#1-Kazarian
#2-Sonjay Dutt
Very bad match to start, and a very bad sign.
#3- Chad Collyer
Holy shit, no.
Really bad double teaming on Sonjay.
#4-LA PARKA
THE CHAIRMAN IS HERE
He's amazing and drags these goons to some fun stuff for a few minutes.
#5-Miyamoto
He sucks and the match is bad again.
LA PARKA tosses out Sonjay
#6-Jerry Lynn
He's working a t-shirt, for fucks sake.
He tosses out Collyer
#7-Joey Matthews
HELL YEAH
He's awesome and really picks things up with some killer offence.
Parka kicks the shit out of Lynn.
#8-Nosawa
Oh, joy
Lynn is thrown out and the camera shot misses who threw him out.
Parka is killing it and i wish he was full time.
#9-AJ Styles
He's selling the pounce!!
He throws out Miyamoto
Awesome stuff between him and Matthews
#10-Chris Vaughn
He's a skinny nothing who gets his ass kicked.
LA PARKA DANCES
Matthews and AJ are still fighting, and it's the best stuff by a mile.
#11-Petey Willams
Not much added
AJ facebusters Matthews and throws him out
#12-D-Ray 3000
Petey throws him out right away, and 3000 dances off to the back.
Bless
AJ AND LA PARKA FIGHT
OH MY GOD YES.
#13-Mikey Batts
He does bad stuff with Petey
AJ & Parka are still killing it
#14-Jason Cross
Decent stuff from him, but nothing really cool or anything.
AJ Pele kicks Batts out
#15-Jarrelle Clarke
He goes nuts with offence and looks amazing again.
Nosawa throws Vaughn out
#16-Kid Kash
guess the match last week with the entry on the line was bullshit
AJ pushes Parka & Nosawa out when they're fighting near the ropes.
Kash is awesome as hell again and finally adds more to the match.
#18-Nigel McGuinness
woooooo
Kash throws Clarke out
Nigel does some wonderfully fancy stuff and looks so good.
Of course TNA makes no attempt at hiring him.
Petey kicks Cross out
#19-Psicosis
Hey, he's back
He has a fun fight with Nigel.
AJ Pele kicks Kash off the top rope and knocks him out of the match.
#20=Shark Boy
SHELL YEAH
AJ goes for a running lariat, BUT KASH PULLS THE ROPES DOWN AND AJ FALLS TO THE FLOOR
AJ GOES AFTER HIM AND THEY HAVE ANOTHER WONDERFUL FIGHT.
Dallas gets involved as well.
#21-Chris Sabin
He goes after Petey and drags him to some fun stuff.
Sabin backdrops Sharky out
SHELL NO
#22-Amazing Red
He kicks Nigel out
#23 Michael Shane
SHAZARIAN work together, as do Sabin and Red
Psycho is kicked out by the heels
Kaz pump kicks Sabin in the back of the head and he falls out and over.
FINAL FOUR. Kaz, Shane, Red & Petey
Well, that's not nice.
Red tries his heart out, but the other 3 are dweebs with bad stomps and lame offence, so yeah no dice.
Red rana's Shane out when Kaz launches him up for a powerbomb and he lands on his shoulders.
Kaz goes to dump Petey out, but Red runs up from behind and shoves Kaz out
We're down to two
Decent little back and forth with Red doing his best to make it fun.
The bullshit hits and Red takes out Roode when he tries to help.
D'Amore sneaks in and hits Red with the stick and Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer to win the title and ruin the division for a few months after AJ saved it.
**1/2

post match Dusty storms the ring and Russo watches on the stage looking very sad. Horrible ending to a bad show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; Petey Willams-11/8/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

Vile shit aside from the Nats holding the tag titles.

TNA IMPACT
August 13th, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 Jeff Jarrett vs Psicosis
Jeff once again opening the show like he should be, the fucking dork. Decent enough squash for slapnuts for a couple of minutes, and the Stroke ends it
*

THIS WEEK ON NWA-TNA PPV#108
-AJ vs. Kash in a Street Fight
-Monty Brown vs. Ron Killings
-Petey vs. Sabin for the X Title
-AMW vs. XXX in Match #2
-Naturals vs. 3LK for the tag titles
-Raven vs. Sabu in HANGMAN'S HORROR~

Match#2 Monty Brown vs Jimmy Rave
Fuck yeah, Rave is back. He takes some crazy bumps for Monty and makes him look like more of a killer than he already is. Rave takes an insane bump for the POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNCE. Bless
**

Match#3 The Naturals vs Mikey Batts & Jarrelle Clarke
Nats run through them as they should with some good basics as always. Like i said, they aren't flashy or amazing, but they're solid as fuck and it's more than enough for me to like them a lot. Shitty ass 3LK run down and distract the Nats, and Batts rolls up Douglas for the massive upset.
*1/2

Recap of Petey's terrible win.

Match#4 Petey Williams w/Scott D'Amore vs Amazing Red
Red has his working boots on and carries this joker for a few minutes. Awesome offence and some great bumps for some very, very bad and lame offence from this goof. D'Amore hits Red with the stick when he tries to comeback and Petey hits that dreadful finish to win
*1/2

Post match, Russo storms the ring and says he's been busy for a while, but he's dealing with this right now. He's banning D'Amore from ringside from now on during ANY Team Canada match. Sure this will stick

Hype for Raven/Sabu. Which is sad because the match never happens as Sabu contracts a virus that nearly kills him and puts him out for 10 months.

Match#5 Raven vs Todd Sexton
Super fun Raven squash for 50 seconds. Goddam it, TNA. He wins with the EVENFLOW.
WHAT ABOUT ME.

Post match, the lights go out and Sabu is beating the shit out of Raven with the dog collar. He strangles him and kicks his ass until Blackshirts drag him off. Goodnight sweet prince.

Dusty Rhodes walks out to ringside and challenges D'Amore to a fist fight. Fuck off, fat man.

Recap of the AJ/Jeff brawl on the PPV.

Match#6 AJ Styles & Jeff Hardy vs Alex Shelley & Abyss w/Goldylocks
Fuck, AJ is now forced to carry this bag of shit until Victory Road as they finally worked out that Jeff is a lazy unreliable douchebag that can't be trusted, so AJ has been tasked with holding his hand so he doesn't ruin everything for TNA on their way to the first 3hr PPV. Spoiler, he ruins everything, but we'll get there. AJ/Shelley is wonderful to start with some insanely smooth stuff as you'd expect, and AJ/Abyss is killer as always. AJ is isolated and the control seg is fantastic for the short time it gets. Alex keeps shoving Abyss away and doing the work, and the big man is angry and sad. AJ mounts a great comeback and the shitbag gets the hot tag and looks super slow and bad, but Shelley and Abyss bump huge to cover for him. Abyss accidentally hits Shelley and knocks him out, and Jeff hits the Swanton to win
**1/4

Post match, Kash and Dallas walk out and stare AJ down.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; Petey Willams-11/8/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

NWA-TNA PPV#108
August 18th, 2004
TNA Asylum

Raven makes his way out to the ring for the Hangman's horror. He says Sabu is a coward just like he said, and now he's faking an injury to get out of this match. Sheik taught him to be a coward, and Tenay says he's injured his back during the weekend. Like i said, he's badly hurt and nearly dies, but thankfully makes a full recovery next year. Raven demands Sonjay fight him now that Sabu is gone, or is a coward like them as well. Sonjay walks out to accept the challenge.

Match#1 Raven vs Sonjay Dutt (Hangman's Horror)
There's 6 chains and nooses hanging over the ropes and you need to choke a bitch to win. Sonjay rushes him and botches a ton of stuff and looks dreadful in his big shot, and it's pretty sad to watch him fuck it all up. Raven does his best to save it by being Raven, and he gets close with some killer bumps and cool offence. Raven strangles him with the chain, but he lets go to get a chair and Sonjay locks his legs around his throat and chokes him down and manages to fight back in a bad way. Everything he does looks bad and the crowd is dead to make it worse. He wraps all the chains around Raven's neck so he's stuck in the middle of the ring and can't escape. Sonjay beats his ass with a trash can for a while and then throws a fireball in his face and chokes him out to win. Fuck this
*

In a pre-tape, Tenay sits down with Jarrett. they talk about Russo and Dusty both wanting to take the title from him, and that's why they're fighting. Tenay brings up Monty feeling like he should be champion, and Jeff calls him a bum that's not ready for this moment and he never will be. Jeff calls this title match the biggest match in TNA history, and he'll prove why he's the king of the mountain.

In the back, D'Amore cuts another horrible promo that does fucking nothing to get his boys over, and it's all about him. Fuck him.

Match#2 Petey Wiliams (c) vs Chris Sabin (NWA-TNA X-Divison Championship)
They have a bad exchange on the mat and Petey looks completely lost at points by being late on stuff so Sabin looks like shit, or just looking bad at whatever he tries. It turns into a bad back and forth, and an even worse control seg. Petey's offence is horrible as you know, but even Sabin doesn't look very good at all, and it's just a sad state of affairs. The bullshit hits when D'Amore and Dusty get involved and cause a distraction that lets Roode run in and kill Sabin with the lariat and Petey hits his finish to win.
Poop

Post match, more bullshit hits when Dusty chases D'Amore and the entire stable off. Russo walks down and they yell at each again. Die

In the back, Hudson is with SHAZARIAN. Hudson asks them about last week, and Traci is mad at him for trying to cause problems between them so he tells him to leave. Shane cuts a bad promo about how close they are and how they'll never turn on each other, and Kaz cuts a bad promo in return. This episode is a fucking test of wills. Jesus Christ.

Recap of AMW/XXX

Match#3 Triple X vs America's Most Wanted (Best of three series-Match 2)
They fight right away after last week in a really cool logic next step, and it's rad as hell. Daniels is on one and really whips their asses in revenge for his shoulder, and he's already been great for years, but this is the real start of his peak in TNA. AMW SNAP AND ATTACK THE BAD SHOULDER WITH PUNCHES AND CONTROL HIM. OH SHIT. AMW are awesome in control and make great heels for the first time, and you can see maybe in real time TNA realising in real time what the next step needs to be for them. Daniel's selling is very good as he grabs at, or it stops him from being able to really fight back. Skipper gets the hot tag and does well, but they cut him off with the Hart Attack and isolate him. Another killer control seg from AMW, and i love how quickly and correctly they changed roles for this. Daniels finally gets the hot tag and goes nuts in revenge, all while selling his bad wing. It breaks down and Skipper trips Harris and Daniels rolls him up to even up the series.
***

In the back, Monty cuts a crazy promo about killing the truth and eating him. Kash and Dallas walks on and says he wants to help not ruin his career like he did, and he needs to know that Russo is against them both by bringing in all his boys and protecting them. He offers himself and Dallas as backup should he never need them.

Hype for Truth/Monty

In the carpark, Dusty and Russo are still arguing.

Match#4 Monty Brown vs Ron Killings
Cool back and forth to start with Truth showing no fear and rushing Monty to throw him off, but he can't back off quick enough and Brown throws him to the floor and starts beating the crap out of him. Truth hurts his leg when he misses a kick and hits the rail, so now Monty can kill him without worry about the kicks. Good control seg for a few minutes, and i'm happy they got a do-over after the bad one in 02. Truth's comeback is is good, but sadly he stops selling the legs so he can do cool shit. It's cool shit, but it's not what we want to see. Truth has it won with the axe kick, but Kash pulls the ref out!! AJ runs down to fight him off, and Monty hits the POUUUNCE to steal it
**3/4

In the carpark, Dusty wants to know why Russo keeps stopping him from doing the right thing. Russo says this is no longer about him doing the right thing when it's hurting matches and wrestlers, and doesn't want to do something he doesn't want him to do. Dusty says he refuses to change after 35 years and there's nothing anyone can do. What an asshole.

Match#5 The Naturals (c) vs BG James & Konnan (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Oh God. The Nats are my sons and i adore them as you know, but they can't carry anyone at this stage, and they're not carrying one of the worst wrestlers ever in Konnan, and a washed BG James. Really bad stuff for a few minutes, and the perfect example of how dire this division has been for a year plus. Like, THIS is what people are paying for and it's a crime and then some. Fucking D'Amore shows up again to hit BG with the fucking stick, and then Dusty attacks him to steal any remaining heat. Fucking cunt. He comes down to the ring and hits Douglas with the stick and the ref calls for the DQ. rntbioekphl nkrl65yelt;ebddnry;bedt,mntyhgfc fuck man
1/2*

In the back, Goldy is with her crew when Desiree walks on and challenges her to put all the contracts on the line against a mystery man next week. Goldy accepts.

Hype for AJ/Kash.

Once again it's up to AJ Styles to save the show and this godforsaken company for another week.

Before the bell rings, some crazy shirtless fan tries to fight Kash for real, so he's dragged off. Fuck yeah

Match#6 AJ Styles vs Kid Kash (Street Fight)
AJ Goes fucking nuts right away and breaks out the amazing looping punches to the back of Kash's head, and they're goddamn nasty as hell. Styles beats his ass in wonderful fashion until Kash hits a gross jawbreaker and tackles him out of the ring to finally stop him. Kid's control seg is wonderful as he gets dirty and petty when he throws bottles of water at the back of AJ's head and then throws a chair into his face. They have the Asylum Brawl and it's a blast as AJ is an all time criminally underrated brawler, and Kash is in his peak and is there right with him. AJ HITS A FUCKING SIDEWALK SLAM ON THE STEPS, AND THEN KASH COUNTERS A SLAM INTO AN ARM DRAG AND AJ LANDS ON HIS FACE AND THEN KASH HITS A DDT ONTO THE STEPS. Fucking hell. They fight on the balcony right at the top of the Asylum, and it's an incredible visual on top of it being a killer fight back and forth between them. Kash kicks him in the dick and throws him over the rail and Kash follows him over, and they fight for dear life to not fall off AND AJ HEADBUTTS HIM AND THEY FALL OFF THROUGH A TABLE AND AJ SMACKS THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD ONTO KASH'S FACE WHEN HE LANDS. JESUS CHRIST MAN. They're both dead and they have some amazing exhaustion selling as they fight back all the way through the crowd throwing punches and stuff at each other, and it's a perfect encapsulation of their entire feud. Kash thought he was fucking with a dumb kid, when he actually poked the once in a lifetime freak athlete with a mean streak and a heart like few men have ever had. They get back into the ring try to end it and we get some cool counters for each man's finish and Kash loses his cool as AJ refuses to die no matter what he tries to do. KASH TRIES A SPRINGBOAD RANA BUT AJ CATCHES HIM INTO THE CLASH, BUT DALLAS RUNS OUT AND AJ GETS RID OF HIM, AND KASH TRIES TO PUNCH AJ FROM BEHIND, BUT AJ DRAGS HIS ARM DOWN AND ROLLS HIM OVER INTO A CRADLE AND GETS THE 3.
****

Post match, Dallas attacks AJ, but Truth makes the save! Monty runs out and cleans house and kills Truth with the Pounce. Sadly Jeff Hardy comes out and does all his offence terribly to stand tall to close the show.

Horrrrrible episode, but goddam is AJ Styles the best.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Jeff Jarrett.-2/6/04
NWA-TNA X Division Champion; Petey Willams-11/8/04
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions; The Naturals-7/7/04

TNA IMPACT
August 20th, 2004
Impact Zone

Match#1 Jeff Jarrett vs Simon Diamond
Another perfectly passable Jarrett squash. Stroke does it
*

Post match, Jeff gets the mic and says Jeff is not math for anything he has. Diamond attacks him from behind and they fight again until Jeff smashes a guitar on his stupid head.

Match#2 Kid Kash & Dallas vs Jarrelle Clarke & Mikey Batts
This team really needs a name after months and months of being together. "Cashed up in Dallas" would rock. Super fun squash for the heels with wonderful offence from Kash, and some sick bumps from the jobbers. Dallas hits a spinning Uranagie
**

Post match, Kash kills Clarke with the Moneymaker.

Match#3 Petey Williams vs Fast Eddie
Horrible squash from this bastard. Terribly weak offence and bad selling when called upon. Just dogshit in every way. The stupid fucking finish ends it
1/2*

Post match, D'Amore comes out to celebrate, but Dusty waddles out and corners him like a bitch, but Roode attacks him from behind and beats him down until 3LK make the save. Tenay announces it will be a 6 man on the PPV. Fucking great.

In the back, D'Amore confronts Russo about this, so Russo walks away from him.

Match#4 America's Most Wanted vs Alex Shelley & Abyss w/Goldylocks.
Abyss is very sad and mad again as Goldy yells at him right from the get go. AMW get their asses kicked as a result, and Shelley keeps stealing his hard work and getting in when they're hurt. Storm gets the hot tag and cleans house for a while. It breaks down and Abyss accidently boots Shelley in the face, and AMW beat him with the spear
**14

Post match, Goldy yells at him and slaps him and goes for the kill, but Shelley stops him. ABYSS GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT AND GOES FOR IT, BUT GOLDY DEMANDS HE LETS GO AND HE DOES LIKE A BITCH.

Match#5 Monty Brown vs Demetus Anglin
Monty wins in 40 seconds with the POUNCE.
1/2*

At ringside, 3LK and Dusty have a very bad fight with Team Canada. In 50 years i'll review all of JCP/WCW to further explain my hatred of this fuck.

Hype for Jeff/Jeff

Match#6 AJ Styles, Ron Killings & Jeff Hardy vs SHAZARIAN & Jason Cross w/Traci
Good way of wrapping up the X-Division feud, and setting the path for the next few months for most of these dudes. Hardy is once again kept out of it because he's out of it and can't be trusted, and it's amazingly funny and sad that this is the state of affairs for the top face. Of course, the actual top face and ace is in this match and kills it as always, and maybe just maybe TNA should go with him all the way. Oh the match? yeah good times for the good wrestlers for a few minutes, and then the piece of shit beats Cross with the Swanton.
**1/2