"Pre-Starrcade Jitters"
Hello CWF fans, Chris Dresden here once again. Another busy week, hence the reason this is a Friday column, but at least I'm honoring my duties and giving you all what you love. I kid but some of you enjoy it and I think it's fun, so that's good for something, right? Of course it is, so without further delay, I'm not a doctor but I play one on the internet, and my prescription for you is this ladies and gentlemen, The Dresden Dose!
WAR opens this week with a pre-show interaction between General Manager Taz and regular backstage interviewer Josh Mathews. When I typed his name out, my Grammar Nazi-ism took over and I thought it was a spelling error so I took to the mostly trusty Wikipedia to find out. What I discovered, besides the fact that I clearly don't pay attention to the commentary graphics on the actual product, is that he does in fact spell his last name with only one 't'. Bet you're glad I shared that.
Anyhoo, the biggest thing of note to come of this interaction is the revelation of CWF's new brand and it's name, Tuesday Night Honor. I thought more time would be between WAR and Honor each week but alright, Tuesday works. This week we're live from Orlando, which is where yours truly was born. J.R. and Grisham open up the show, plugging the events of the night as well as this Sunday's pay-per-view.
Wish I'd looked at the opening commentary before I made the commentary for this match, because it doesn't read as sensibly as I intended once you go from the opening commentary, which concludes with, "Rhodes and Lesnar is first!" to my commentary that gradually builds to the introduction for the match. So in essence J.R. and Styles are telling you twice that you're about to see Brock Lesnar vs. Cody Rhodes.
Rock, who I hope is feeling better, got sick and asked me if I would mind writing the match, so I stepped in for my sick friend and since neither TT'er showed up, I took it upon myself to be creative, hence the finish. Sure both of them lose with a double disqualification, but Starrcade is also hyped due to the fact that their pay-per-view opponents attacking them is what causes the double disqualification.
Anyhoo, really enjoyed writing it, hope you guys enjoyed reading it. In my defense, I ended the post-match commentary as a lead-in to commercial because I thought that's what would be next. I now see that I was incorrect. Moving on.
[PROMOS]
Josh Mathews and Christian have a very brief interaction. I can't really judge the quality of the promo because of how short it is, I'll just say I hope it's leading to something else with Christian later in the show.
I enjoyed this Miz promo thoroughly but it doesn't make much sense, because I wouldn't consider Cena to be the face of CWF or someone that gets handed everything on a silver platter. Maybe I missed something.
[COMMERCIAL]
Our first commercial of the night is for WWE Night of Champions coming up in a few weeks. For those of you who don't know, seven matches are either already booked or being discussed. Cena vs. Del Rio for the WWE Championship as we already know. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry for the World Heavyweight Championship. Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne vs. a team to be determined for the Tag Team Championships. Dolph Ziggler vs. either John Morrison or Alex Riley for the United States Championship. I think it should be Swagger, personally. Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson for the Intercontinental Championship. Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly for the Divas Championship. CM Punk vs. Kevin Nash.
[PROMO]
Back from commercial, we are joined by Batista. Batista's promo is on his Starrcade opponent, Edge. In this promo, he more or less vows victory at the pay-per-view and warns he'll be coming for the CWF Championship next.
Alright so apparently my entrances weren't up to par as there's a cluster of my entrances and other entrances, my commentary and other commentary, and the banner appears twice. Andrew asked me to write this one so the first two WAR matches of the night are packed with Dresden goodness. lol
Had a bit less time to write this match but I hope you guys were able to enjoy it anyway. Never written a match with the New Age Outlaws in it before, that was fun. Hope no one minds that I called it the, "Famouser" instead of the "Fame-ass-er", I think it looks better that way.
[BACKSTAGE PROMO]
Post-match, the commentators send it over to trusty Josh Mathews, with two 't''s for this segment, who is standing by with Chris Jericho to get his thoughts on his matches both tonight and on Starrcade. What should be taken away from this promo you ask? Bronzy's Jericho is awesome, that's what.
[COMMERCIAL #2]
Our second commercial of the evening is brought to us by Bender of Futurama, who is holding up an applause sign. For those of you that observed this and began applauding, kindly seek help for yourself. By the way, I haven't watched any of the new season, is it worth it?
Back from commercial, it's time for our third match of the evening. Orton receives what is called the All-American jobber entrance by already being in the ring as things get underway. And after Jericho makes his way out and the match begins, we see why Orton got the jobber entrance, because Jericho squashes him with his own move. Let's all take a moment to enjoy this grand, only-in-CWF highlight.
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Good times. Never gonna happen in WWE. If it did, the guy that did it would be a star.
[POST-MATCH PROMO]
Christian comes out to add insult to injury, verbally throwing salt in the Viper's wounds. He runs down Orton and takes a page from his fellow Canadian's book, RKO'ing Orton. This is hilarious, two RKO's on Randy. Christian goes to crush Randy's head like a grape Con-Chair-To style but General Manager Tazz puts an end to it, threatening to call off the match at Starrcade. Christian vows to finish the job at the pay-per-view, blowing him a kiss for Mrs. Orton.
[BACKSTAGE PROMO]
As Randy is helped away from the devastating pain of putting someone over, and that's a shot at the real Orton not the TT'er, we go backstage where Todd Grisham is standing by with John Cena. Todd wants John's thoughts on CWF's second brand, pointing out that Cena could be drafted, going on to say Honor could be to CWF what Smackdown
or ECW was to WWE. I hope it's effect resembles Smackdown.
Cena doesn't care where he goes after Starrcade and is excited for the pay-per-view, where he will begin to make his mark on the company by beating Miz and head for the World title. Anyone else smell CWF's version of Cena/Batista?
And in the most creative way to segue from promo to promo, after Cena leaves Todd simply looks over his shoulder and begins interviewing Edge. That made me smile with laughter, nicely done. Edge gives his thoughts on his best friend Christian and then moved on to his Starrcade opponent Batista, ending the interview with words for Punk and Finlay, expressing intentions to go for either one after he beats Batista. Everyone gunning for the title, eh? Very interesting. Btw, Big Red Morrison Punk's Edge is stellar.
[COMMERCIAL #3]
Our third commercial of the evening is brought to you by Chicago, the City of Straight-Edge. Well, at least the city where the Straight-Edge Superstar CM Punk is from. Who's going to win the match for the CWF World Championship? Make your voice heard in the Prediction Thread!
[PROMO]
After the commercial, we are very quickly and unexpectedly joined by Daivari, who wastes no time in making the fans hate him. Hassan goes on a golden tirade in this promo, addressing many people on the roster including Kane. Btw, very interesting to use what people said about this match being a random pairing with no backstory in the promo, rawisrey, that was a nice touch.
The banner shows up early but at least we know what's coming, it builds anticipation. The YouTube video makes me laugh because Versus The Ocean has a myspace URL listed. It could be that the video is a few years old, but still, myspace. *Peter Griffin laugh*
This was a good match. If you don't believe me, read it. I had forgotten Christian used to do the flying/diving headbutt from time-to-time, now I remember though and I recall how it made me cringe to watch him do it.
Without warning or transition, it is now time for the next match, Andrew vs. The Hoov. Let me just say this, this match was incredible. A lot of good action and a lot of excitement built by the run-ins and the action itself, as well as the fact that it's a match we've never seen and will never see in real life.
This was also good because it's the closest we'll get to the planned match, which is now off the cards because Andrew and Hoov have graciously decided to drop all of their star power. But fear not, big things await these two in e-feds and for fans of Hoov's Stone Cold, he's here to stay!
[STARRCADE HYPE]
Taz joins us to announce that DX is gone and the NWO/Attitude Era match has been cancelled, and then runs down the Starrcade card. My thoughts/hype follows.
Finlay's done well as CWF champion, but a lot of his accomplishments have been thanks to Hornswoggle while many of Punk's accomplishments have been achieved by his own merit. Finlay needs to show he can do things on his own, and a clean win over Punk would be the way to do it. Win or lose though, CM, GTS to Hornswoggle please.
Christian has dominated this feud, and another win over Orton would make it a clean sweep. Now that it's an Iron Man match and Christian has a guaranteed thirty minutes to pick apart his opponent with every within reach permissible for use, does Orton stand a chance of one-upping Captain Charisma?
Batista is physically dominant, but Edge has physicality as well as verbal prowess on his side. When these two meet in a very personal collision, everything is on the line in what I'm dubbing the "Battle of the Spears".
While Brock doesn't always pick up the win every time he steps in the ring, you can't doubt he always looks impressive and makes his opponents earn their victory. With all the confidence in the world on his side and the ability to boot, does Chris Jericho have enough firepower to take down this mammoth of a man?
Kevin Thorn has proven to be a man with otherwordly power, towering over his competition with his size and making them take notice of him with his brute strength. Sheamus, however, is a monster in his own right and is looking to Brogue Kick the fangs down Kevin's throat. Morrison finds himself in the middle of this Clash of the Titans, but with it being his championship at stake, you can bet he'll pull every high-flying and Parkour trick from the bag on Sunday.
Though Cena's stay in CWF hasn't been long, he's already managed to make an enemy in The Miz. With jealousy fueling his rage, will Miz's awesome offense serve as Cena's kryptonite, or will Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect lead to the big W-I-N?
Hassan feels like he's a victim of prejudice, while Kane sees him as just a victim. When these two collide, will the Big Red Monster condemn Hassan to the very darkness he warns of, or will his flames be fanned out by the blistering frustration of the leader of the Great Hassan?
The banner says and shows DX, but as Taz pointed out, they will be replaced by Beer Money, who are no strangers to tag team gold. Joining them in the ruckus will be the New Age Outlaws, likely relieved that they don't have to clobber their former DX counterparts. Out for revenge are the team of Chosen Destiny, who will look to not only put the gold around their waist, but keep it especially from the waists of the New Age Outlaws. But determined to keep them from succeeding are the incumbent champions the Great Hassan. When these four teams collide with no elimination, there's no telling who will leave Tag Team Champions.
Two of CWF's youngest and brightest stars collide in this showdown when Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler are set to do battle. After tonight's assault, will Cody be able to reclaim enough steam to overthrow the platinum blonde "Professor of Perfection" or does Dolph Ziggler have too much spirit?
After the last match is promoted, it is now time for the tag team main event. I'm going to ask one question about this match. If I TT'd, why was I the one to take the pin? It's like punishing me for showing up.
[FINAL THOUGHTS]
Overall, I enjoyed this show. I'm very excited for the pay-per-view this Sunday, especially since I will be writing the tag team fatal four-way that promises to be hectic. I may have other contributions to. Briefcase cash-in? Promo? Tune in to Starrcade to see. Hope you guys enjoyed this week's edition of the Dresden Dose, I'll be back on Sunday to review the pay-per-view. Be sure to leave me some feedback also, please.
