He should defend his rice if it means that much to him!
Why defend the rice when you can just eat it?
He should defend his rice if it means that much to him!
I hope Quack heels it up again.
In front of the world, live on iPPV at "High Noon," after a long chain of some of the most frustrating moments of my career, I finally gave Tursas his comeuppance in the best way imaginable - I made him quit. That's right, the seemingly unbeatable giant was forced to admit defeat. Forced to admit that I had his number. Forced to admit that with no help from a crooked referee or a goof with a tennis racket, Green Ant was only one hold away from sending Tursas packing. I can't describe how great that felt, or how elated I was that the war was over and I proved to the world that the art of submission wrestling overrules size and strength.
However, I'm not the only wrestler in CHIKARA who's always out to prove that they can hang with the best on the mat. I've had a couple singles matches over the course of my two year career with my trainer, mi maestro, Mike Quackenbush. Mike, we've tied up twice in a CHIKARA ring, and both times you proved you were the better wrestler. Twice, you've made me tap out. I have no shame in admitting that. On the mat, you might be the very best in the entire world. You showed me the ropes since day one, and I consider both of those matches to be learning experiences. But you know what? On November 13th, I tapped out the heaviest guy on the CHIKARA roster in the middle of the ring. After that, I feel ready to take on the world. Plus, I'm in the gym nearly every day working on my technique. I don't know that anyone is ever truly ready to get down on the mat with The Master of a Thousand Holds, but I guess I'm as ready as I can be.
Give me the chance.
GA
PLEASSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HALLOWICKED GIVE ME BACKKK MY CUPPP! I”LL HAVE JAKOB DO ANYTHING! HE’LL SHINE YOUR SHOES SO YOU CAN #BOOTS2BATIRI OR GET YOU A NEW FRIGHTMARE AT TOYS 'R' US! I'LL MAKE HIM TAKE OUT A CREDIT CARD 'CUZ I BROKE YOUR LAST ONE. HE WILL PAY FOR IT! COMEEEE ON!
I DON'T HAVE A CUP TO DRINK MY COFFEE OUT OF ANYMORE! THE SILVER MAKES IT TASTE LIKE HOT CHOCOLATE! I HATE HOT CHOCOLATE. I'M A MAN! I NEED MY CAFFEINE! THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THE DONSTAROOS WHO NEED MY ENERGY LEVELS TO BE PRIMED SO THEY CAN HOP! COME ON! I’LL TEACH YOU TO DO THE DONSTAROO - PLEASEEEE PLEASE PLEASE! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! NO LOL OR JK!
CHRISTMAS CAME AND WENT AND I WAS GOING TO HAVE JAKOB WRAP IT AND PUT IT UNDER THE TREE BUT NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO! YOU RUINED MY X-MAS AND NOBODY BUT MY CRUMMY UNCLE ROGER RUINS CHRISTMAS FOR ME! I'M CAPSING 'CUZ I'M ANGRY AND TO EXPRESS MY POINT!
YOU BETTER GIVE IT BACK BECAUSE ONCE I COOL OFF I'M GOING TO COME UP WITH A WAY TO GET BACK AT YOU AND RUIN YOUR NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I WARN YOU ONCE I STOP CAPSLOCKING I START ANKLELOCKING!
NOT HAPPY.
TD
1/13/2012: Nearly 9 long weeks have passed since I vanquished Ares at "High Noon" and, at long last, reclaimed the Eye of Tyr.
And now, the time has come to make good on a promise I made many moons ago to my comrade Hallowicked. To make right a terrible wrong. To harness and employ all of the magic of the Eye. The time has come to liberate Delirious from the psychological helotry that has been cast upon him by the BDK.
I have been biding my time; watching and waiting. Tracking his every movement. I have learned my lessons from the past - the Eye is far too powerful to unleash without forethought! But I can wait no longer. I fear that the damage done may already be too great. We must set free Delirious now! And when we do - when the spell has been broken and Delirious is once again at our side - The Spectral Envoy of the Final Judgment will truly be the most powerful force in all of CHIKARA!
1/27/2012: It’s only after you’ve lost everything, that you're free to do anything.
A new path has been chosen. I must shed this skin. The soul(Mask) that is dishonored(Osirian Portal.) Domination. My name will command respect(Fear.) I must become something new. Spirit. Stolen from Wadjet(Deity.) The Snake Spirit(Ophidian.)
Resurrect - Embody the soul(Mask) of the Serpent. Under the sign of Osiris(Deity,) The Osirian Portal(Dishonored) skin has been removed. I have seen my fated path. Embrace it. My soul(Mask) shall remain hidden until it is time to battle(Conquer.) I am not yet worthy of showing it otherwise. Osiris(Deity) will be made proud. Complete Resurrection happens through Complete Supremacy.
Sever - Eradicate all members of the Osirian Portal(Dishonored.) Obtain their mask(Soul.) I have your Soul(Mask) Amasis. Your sacrifice was necessary. I am a disgrace. Removed. Two soul(Mask)s have been placed upon the altar. Horus(Deity.) Hieracon must be Sacrificed. I require his soul(Mask.)
Ascend - Fear(Respect) is respect(Fear.) Every one shall be tested. No one will be left undefeated. Retribution. To battle(Conquer) is my purpose. The champions of CHIKARA will know I’m coming. Fear me. The soul(Mask)less shall whisper my name. The defeated shall scream it.
Hieracon, heed my words. On January 28th, Victory does not lie within pinfall. Destruction. Complete dismemberment. The Death Grip(Submission) is the only way to conquer(Battle.) Your soul(Mask) is mine.
OPHIDIAN
1. x Mike Quackenbush (10:09 ~ CHIKARA Special: Green) Green Ant o
2. o Jigsaw (8:30 ~ Superkick) Kobald x
3. x Gran Akuma (4:35 ~ Double Count-out) Icarus x
4. o Scott Parker {W} & Shane Matthews
(9:08 ~ "Sweet Taste of Professionalism")
Tim Donst & Jakob Hammermeier {L} x
5. o Hallowicked (12:02 ~ Blocked Victory Roll) Archibald Peck x
6. x Hieracon (19:57 ~ Cobra Clutch Death Grip) Ophidian o
7. o Fire Ant {W} & Soldier Ant
(16:31 ~ BeachBreak)
Obariyon {L} & Kodama x
2/3/2012: I'm not gonna' drag this out.
I won't be around CHIKARA for awhile.
7 of the hardest words I've ever had to type.
Do not mistake this as me "losing my smile" or lacking passion for this. This is what I do and CHIKARA is where I'm free to do it to the fullest of my ability.
BUT, there's no avoiding what's been placed in front of me. I can't settle this problem in tights, on the court, or between the ropes. Avoiding it would mean that the very best of me that I pray you've come to know and hopefully love will be severely lacking. I'd die before I gave any of you less than that.
So with the heaviest of hearts and a disappointment that I can't even define, I gotta walk away. That's the most I can say for now.
Don't forget me. Don't let what we've built together die. Dasher, you've got this. It's always gonna be you and me against the odds, broham.
With that said. This ain't goodbye, but good journey.
"I'm searching for a way back/But I'm looking through a peep hole/I'm trying to find my way back/I wanna be your hero." - N.E.R.D. "Find My Way"
Just consider this a long halftime.
SUGAR