9. WRESTLEMANIA IX
Match Card:
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels © (w. Luna Vachon) vs. Tatanka (w. Sensational Sherri)
The Headshrinkers (w. Afa) vs. The Steiner Brothers
Crush vs. Doink The Clown
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
WWF Tag Team Championship: Money, Inc. © vs. The Mega-Maniacs (w. “Mouth of the South†Jimmy Hart)
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
The Giant Gonzalez (w. Harvey Whippleman) vs. The Undertaker (w. Paul Bearer)
WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w. Mr. Fuji) vs. Bret “Hitman†Hart ©
I personally have never seen this Wrestlemania before so this will be a new (probably horrible) experience for myself. The PPV already started off really weird with the announcers wearing togas which I assume is because the location of the PPV is Caesars palace. Gorilla Monsoon looks so odd. This is Jim Ross’ first ever WM and what an outfit to start if off in. This is really going to be something.
Best announcer attire ever.
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels © (w. Luna Vachon) vs. Tatanka (w. Sensational Sherri)
First up on this PPV we have a match for the Intercontinental Championship. On paper, this sounds like a pretty good match. The match does start off with some very good back and forth wrestling. HBK goes for a couple of single leg takedowns and some other mat based wrestling. Tatanka reverses most of it for an even start to the match. This is a pretty good match to start off Wrestlemania. Two very good wrestlers putting on a pretty damn good match. Tatanka focuses on attacking HBK’s arm for a lot of the match, he does this using armbars. HBK has Luna Vachon as a valet for this match, his old valet Sensational Sherri is also out there but she has no allegiance to Tatanka. She is just out there to stop Luna interfering and she does that successfully by stopping Luna going near Tatanka. The match is a very good one but it is ruined by the finish. HBK gets counted out and ends up pulling the ref out of the ring. For some reason the referee waits for Tatanka to hit a Samoa drop and go for a cover before calling the bell which causes mass confusion. This means Tatanka wins the match but HBK retains the belt. This ruins a very good match with a dusty finish. Luna than attacks Sherri after the match which means Tatanka has to help her back to the dressing room.
Rating – 6/10
The Headshrinkers (w. Afa) vs. The Steiner Brothers
It’s crazy that Scott Steiner has managed to go from looking to how he does in this match to looking like what he does now. He went from having a mullet and looking sort of normal to looking like a CAW from a wrestling game. I feel like I should be focusing more on the match than thinking how different Scott Steiner looks haha. This match is a very solid match. It’s the second solid match of the evening already which means the rest of the show must be awful if this is in the list of the worst PPV’s ever. There’s a lot of good back and forth action in this match with both teams looking very impressive. The Steiner brothers really could go back in the day. The match ends when The Master of the Frankensteiner unsurprisingly hits a Frankensteiner to win the match. Overall, the match is a very solid match, nothing much to complain about.
Rating – 6/10
Pre-Steriods Scott Steiner (Probably not)
Crush vs. Doink The Clown
Next up is Crush vs. Doink The Clown, I am not particulary sure why this is a match at Wrestlemania. From what I know, Doink is a comedy character and I am not really sure who Crush is. The match is full of hijinks due to it being a Doink match. There are some before the match even starts with Doink spraying Crush with a flower, this annoys Crush who then begins to chase Doink on the outside. Crush dominates a lot of the early proceedings and just throws Doink about. Doink then does get back into the match and gets in a few moves of his own. Doink tries to get under the ring but Crush manages to get Doink back into the ring. The referee then takes a bump which means he’s knocked out forever as usual. This allows a second doink to come in from under the ring and hits Crush with a loaded cast. It’s the original Twin magic! The second Doink then gets back under the ring and the referee timely wakes up from his deep slumber and Doink gets the three count. Bill Alfonso then tells the ref what happens so they decide to actually check under the ring but the second doink is gone. A bit of an odd match really. Not really Wrestlemania standard.
Rating – 3/10
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
Ooh, this match looks a good one. Two extremely good wrestlers in their own right, what could possibly go wrong? Backlund tries to go for a handshake but in typical Razor fashion, he receives a toothpick to the face. I do love heel moves like that. The match starts off in normal fashion, a bit of back and forth action. Razor hits a few rights, a boot and a scoop slam. Backlund hits some hip tosses and an atomic drop. Razor Ramon then goes for a small package and gets the three count. Wait…..what? The match just abruptly ends before it even really begins. I checked Wikipedia for the match time and it only lasted 3:45 which is very good. I was expecting a lot more for this match and for it to be a lot longer.
Rating: 2/10
WWF Tag Team Championship: Money, Inc. © vs. The Mega-Maniacs (w. “Mouth of the South†Jimmy Hart)
The first thing I noticed in this match is how messed up Hogan’s eye looked. The announcers explained it as Money Inc. hired somebody to take him out. Money Inc do try and attack Hogan and Brutus before the bell but they are thrown out the ring so Hogan can do his old tear of my shirt shtick. The match starts off with Money Inc attacking Beefcake by ganging up on him with quick tags. Beefcake manages to get Hogan tagged in which means the crowd pops huge, Hogan really is over here. Hogan and Brutus then take control of this match. This leds to Money Inc then walking out and just trying to leave. The referee then says they will lose their titles if they don’t return, I didn’t realise referees could just make up rules on the fly. There’s a lot of good action in this match with a lot of big moves being hit. IRS and Brutus then fall onto the ref after an axe handle from Dibiase which lays Brutus, IRS and the ref out, Hogan still manages to get tagged in even though the ref is out. Hogan then gets Beefcake’s titanium mask and hits both members of Money Inc with it. Jimmy Hart then randomly turns his vest inside out and he has black and white referee stripes on. Jimmy Hart then counts the pin even though he’s not a licensed referee! Brutus and Hogan then celebrate like they’ve actually won even though it’s obvious they haven’t. Another referee then runs down and declares Money Inc the winners by DQ. Hogan and Brutus still pose like they’ve won anyway. A pretty good match ruined by a clusterfuck finish. It seems like a running theme.
Rating: 5/10
WWE: Hey it's Ted Dibiase being punched by....absolutely nobody at all
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
Everytime I have seen Lex Luger wrestle, I haven’t been impressed with his wrestling ability. However, Mr Perfect could wrestle with a broom and make it look good. Luger decides to come out with 4 women in thongs which is pretty cool. This match is a pretty good match from a wrestling point of view. Luger actually sort of impresses me and Mr. Perfect is great as per usual. Quite of the match is brawling, punches and kicks rather than wrestling moves fill up the majority of the match but it is good nonetheless. However, once again the match has a dodgy finish. What a shocker than is. Lex Luger matches to hit a backslide cover on Mr Perfect who gets his feet on the ropes yet the referee somehow doesn’t notice and Lex Luger wins. After the match, both men start to brawl to the back. This is where HBK randomly jumps Mr. Perfect (I assume linked to a feud at the time) and Lex Luger just leaves before the referees pull HBK away from Mr. Perfect. Another good match with an unnecessary dodgy finish.
Rating: 5/10
The Giant Gonzalez (w. Harvey Whippleman) vs. The Undertaker (w. Paul Bearer)
I’ve heard before that this is by far The Undertaker’s worst ever Wrestlemania match, this is going to be great. The Undertaker’s entrance is absolutely great, as are many of his Wrestlemania entrances. This one features a Funeral Chariot which is awesome. The Giant Gonzalez’s ring attire is so odd, it just looks so weird in the ring. This match is absolutely terrible, simply put. The Giant Gonzalez is just far too big and the match is just all over the place. There’s not really much action at all in the match until the abomination of a finish. Whippleman decides to give Gonzalez a rag covered in chloroform, Gonzalez then headbutts Paul Bearer and uses the chloroform rag on The Undertaker which of course results in a disqualification. Yeah, I don’t know why this happened either. Undertaker is stretched out but decides he is fine and gets up to attack Giant Gonzalez. The silver lining of this match is that it’s the first match where a ridiculous ending can’t spoil a quite good match, it just fits the theme of the match.
Rating – 2/10
Has there ever been worst wrestling attire?
WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w. Mr. Fuji) vs. Bret “Hitman†Hart ©
Here we are, the main event of Wrestlemania. Surely this has got to be a good match right? Hogan announced in an interview before this match that he challenges the winner of the title match, I do wonder what’s going to happen. For a 500 pounder, Yokuzuna is an incredible wrestler. This match is quite good, but not Main Event of Wrestlemania good. Bret Hart spends the majority of the match trying to knock Yokozuna to the mat, he temporarily knocks him to the ground after a clothesline. Bret Hart manages to rip off the turnbuckle cover after Yokuzuna slammed him off the top rop. This exposes the steel from the turnbuckle. Yokuzuna then tries to slam Bret into the exposed steel but he reverses it and Yokozuna goes into the steel. This allows Bret to lock in the Sharpshooter and…..here comes another shitty finish. Mr Fuji decides to throw salt in Bret’s eyes which the referee doesn’t notice. Yokozuna then somehow pins Bret Hart as salt means you cannot kick out. Yokozuna is the new World Champion and this leads too….
WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w. Mr. Fuji) © vs Hulk Hogan
Hulk Hogan then decides to come out because he’s Hulk Hogan. Mr Fuji then decides to challenge Hulk Hogan for no reason, I hope all Fuji’s aren’t such bad decision makers
. Mr Fuji tries to throw the salt in Hogan’s eyes but it goes in Yoko’s eyes which allows Hogan to hit the legdrop and get the three count. LOLHOGANWINS. The crowd pops massively for Hogan winning the title. It’s like a fairytale. Everyone goes home happy, unless you’re Bret Hart.
Rating: 1/10
This PPV was just horrific. There was actually some not bad matches but they were ruined by the stupid finishes. The Main Event was just horrible all round. What did everyone else think of Wrestlemania IX?
Overall rating: 30/80
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