Champagne Charlie Watches The 10 Worst WWE PPV's Of All Time

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Lover Boy

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While I was at the airport about to go on holiday, I decided to go into WHSmith (an newsagents in the UK) and pick myself up a magazine for the flight. I decided to pick up Fightingspiritmagazine which is a wrestling (mixed with a bit of MMA) magazine here in the UK. I used to read it quite often but I hadn't read it in a while.

Inside the magazine, there was an article on the 50 Best WWE PPV's Ever, in that section they also compiled a list of the 10 worst WWE PPV's of all time. I thought to myself, I should watch all of these PPV's and post my reviews here to see how bad they really are. I hope you can enjoy my trip through these terrible PPV's and give me your thoughts on what you thought of these PPV's. These being the worst 10 PPV's is of course the opinion of the editors of this particular magazine.

Hopefully number 10 in the countdown will be posted soon.
 

Fuji Vice

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Yep, I'm down for this as well. I won't even google the list first.

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Kross Rhodes

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This sounds like a wonderful idea. I can't wait to hear your spin on some of the "worst" professional wrestling has to offer. And like Fuji, I didn't even consider spoiling myself by looking up the list. Good luck - I will be eagerly awaiting your first piece!
 

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i will read this. my body is ready.

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10. BATTLEGROUND 2013

WWE_Battleground_2013_poster.jpg


Match Card
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam (World Heavyweight Championship)
Santino Marella and The Great Khali vs Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro
Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth (Intercontinental Championship)
Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee (Divas Championship)
The Shield vs. Cody Rhodes and Goldust
Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi Kingston
Ryback vs. CM Punk
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton (WWE Championship)​

Looking at that match card, I can’t imagine how this is going to be so bad. I wasn’t really watching WWE regularly at the point of this PPV so I’ve never seen it before. I sort of remember it, but I have never actually seen it. With all of these PPV’s, I am going to rate each match out of 10 and see what the final total is at the end.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam (World Heavyweight Championship)
Battleground 2013 starts with a World Heavyweight Championship match which just shows how the two world titles were not even at this point like they are supposed to be in kayfabe. I am already confused at why Ricardo Rodriguez is now RVD’s manager and personal ring announcer, he also looks weird in his RVD shirt. There is actually quite a few nice spots in this match, RVD did a backflip off the barricade about 30 seconds into the match. There is something about this match that just seems off though. It really doesn’t feel like a World Title match, which might be due to it starting the show off rather than being later in the show. The crowd is quite dead in this match which doesn’t really help it. The commentators keep mentioning about Sandow cashing in and seem more focused on this than the actual match. This match starts to become a bit of a clusterfuck towards the end with Ricardo Rodriguez getting involved and attacking ADR with a bucket which has RVD sprayed on it. ADR than just beats him down like he’s nothing. There’s a cool spot towards the end of the match with RVD doing a Five Star Frogsplash from the apron onto Del Rio and a ladder. The cross armbreaker with a chair is quite a good way to end the match. Overall, the match just seemed off.

Rating – 5/10

Santino Marella and The Great Khali vs Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro
This match just screams filler straight away. I kind of miss the Real Americans teaming and hearing Jack Swagger’s awesome theme more often. There’s not really much to report with the match. The Real Americans dominate Santino, he manages to tag in Khali who just controls the match before Cesaro randomly wins off a leg chop and a Cesaro swing. This match was a bit odd but actually got a good crowd reaction due to Cesaro.

Rating – 3/10

Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth (Intercontinental Championship)
I actually quite like Curtis Axel even though I don’t remember his title run at all really. This match is just a standard, generic mid-card title match. The match is quite back and forth overall. Both guys managing to get some good moves in on each other but nothing that special. R-Truth manages to get the crowd going a little bit with his What’s Up catchphrase but that’s the only time the fans are really into it. Axel hits his finisher and wins the match pretty quickly.

Rating – 4/10

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee (Divas Championship)
Ah, the times before Nikki became 10x better than Brie in the ring and on the mic. I was never a massive AJ Lee fan so this match doesn’t particularly interest me. I am not entirely sure who even is the heel or face in this match. I think Brie is the face and AJ the heel judging by the tiny crowd reactions. Brie Bella being pushed into the ring post is the only real notable thing that happens in this match. AJ Lee keeps snapping in this match which I imagine is due to her suffering the divas booking of every diva is crazy or sleeps around. Tamina randomly starts strangling Nikki on the outside which leads to AJ Lee rolling Brie up and winning the match. The crowd then really starts cheering which leads me to question who is the heel and the face in the match.

Rating – 3/10

The Shield vs. Cody Rhodes and Goldust
This match is absolutely fantastic and it really doesn’t deserve to be on this PPV. Everything about this match is just brilliant. There’s just a real emotion and story behind this match which wrestling is all about. The Rhodes family are fighting for their careers and they really build that throughout the match. I really wish they teamed more as brothers rather than Goldust and Stardust. Rollins and Reigns really play the role as the heel very well in the match. Roman talking shit during the match is pretty great, I love it when heels do that. Dusty is absolutely great on the outside and him fighting with Ambrose is class, I marked for the bionic elbow. The place goes crazy after Cody Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes and gets the pin. The match really has a real emotion behind it, fantastic match.

Rating – 9/10

Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi Kingston
The match was always going to struggle to follow the match that had just taken place. It seems like this match was just supposed to be sort of like a break between the great match beforehand and the two big hyped matches that follow this one. This match is a little bit of a mess at points. I think the communication is poor between the individuals as there seems to be a few awkward pauses during the action as neither man really knows what he is doing. There are a few good spots in the match. Kofi Kingston doing a front flip onto all three Wyatt family members on the outside was a good spot in the match. Wyatt ends up winning the match with a Sister Abigail.

Rating – 5/10

Ryback vs. CM Punk
Disappointing. That’s is the word that I feel is most fitting for this match. With a wrestler the calibre of CM Punk involved, I expected a lot more from this match. A lot of the match is focused on CM Punk vs Paul Heyman with the feud being that and Ryback is just a foil for Heyman. Ryback isn’t at his best in this match and that clearly shows. Him and Punk just both struggle in this match. One of the most interesting things about the match is the conversation between Ryback and Paul Heyman that takes place about CM Punk being a bully. The crowd is pretty silent during this match, apart from their small hate for Ryback. They give Ryback a few “you can’t wrestle†chants but that’s about it. The finish to the match is terrible too. The ref gets distracted by Heyman with a kendo stick and CM Punk manages to low blow Ryback while the ref is distracted and gets the three count.

Rating – 6/10

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton (WWE Championship)
A match that promised so much but fell afoul of absolutely horrible booking. Orton gets quite a mixed reaction whereas Daniel Bryan is completely positive. The match starts off quite nicely with a bit of back and forth action with both men trying to get the upper hand. The match started off with a very good pace to it and I wish it continued that way. Orton managed to hit his beautiful, fluid powerslam which is just great. The crowd is quite dead which seems to be a common theme of the night. The false finish with Orton going for the RKO, Bryan going for an enziguri and then Orton going for the roll up was the good last action. That is before Big Show does what he does best and randomly decides to ruin the match. He decides to come in and knock both men out leading to a no contest. The match was quite solid overall but the dead crowd and the horrific ending just ruined it completely.

Rating – 6/10

That’s the first PPV in the countdown finished. Battleground 2013 was your number 10 on the list. Do you think Battleground 2013 was that bad or do you think it was even worse?

Overall rating – 41/80 (8 Matches)
 

Sabretooth

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Good review. If this was number 10, I can't wait to see the rest. I'll have to check out the Shield vs Cody Rhodes and Goldust match.
 

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I actually just watched that PPV last week. I agree about pretty much everything except for the WHC match which I actually felt showcased how RVD still has it.
 

Fuji Vice

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Battleground 2013 starts with a World Heavyweight Championship match which just shows how the two world titles were not even at this point like they are supposed to be in kayfabe.
To be fair, they had been uneven for quite a long while leading up to this show. Edge/Del Rio jerked the curtain for the title at 'Mania 27 while the Sheamus/Bryan 18 second debacle did so the following year. Honestly, I can't even remember when the WHC was considered "even" with the WWE Championship. :lol:

The match was actually pretty decent but it seemed more suited to a SmackDown main event than a PPV opener.

The Rhodes Brothers/Shield match is easily MOTN and pretty much everything else on the show is mediocre to bad. The shenanigans in the main event were just pathetic and I'd have been pissed if I'd paid $60 for the show.
 

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Good review. If this was number 10, I can't wait to see the rest. I'll have to check out the Shield vs Cody Rhodes and Goldust match.

You definitely need to check out The Shield and Rhodes match. It's aces.
 

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9. WRESTLEMANIA IX​
WrestleManiaIX.jpg


Match Card:
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels © (w. Luna Vachon) vs. Tatanka (w. Sensational Sherri)
The Headshrinkers (w. Afa) vs. The Steiner Brothers
Crush vs. Doink The Clown
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
WWF Tag Team Championship: Money, Inc. © vs. The Mega-Maniacs (w. “Mouth of the South†Jimmy Hart)
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
The Giant Gonzalez (w. Harvey Whippleman) vs. The Undertaker (w. Paul Bearer)
WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w. Mr. Fuji) vs. Bret “Hitman†Hart ©​

I personally have never seen this Wrestlemania before so this will be a new (probably horrible) experience for myself. The PPV already started off really weird with the announcers wearing togas which I assume is because the location of the PPV is Caesars palace. Gorilla Monsoon looks so odd. This is Jim Ross’ first ever WM and what an outfit to start if off in. This is really going to be something.

jr_heenan_article_2.JPG

Best announcer attire ever.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels © (w. Luna Vachon) vs. Tatanka (w. Sensational Sherri)

First up on this PPV we have a match for the Intercontinental Championship. On paper, this sounds like a pretty good match. The match does start off with some very good back and forth wrestling. HBK goes for a couple of single leg takedowns and some other mat based wrestling. Tatanka reverses most of it for an even start to the match. This is a pretty good match to start off Wrestlemania. Two very good wrestlers putting on a pretty damn good match. Tatanka focuses on attacking HBK’s arm for a lot of the match, he does this using armbars. HBK has Luna Vachon as a valet for this match, his old valet Sensational Sherri is also out there but she has no allegiance to Tatanka. She is just out there to stop Luna interfering and she does that successfully by stopping Luna going near Tatanka. The match is a very good one but it is ruined by the finish. HBK gets counted out and ends up pulling the ref out of the ring. For some reason the referee waits for Tatanka to hit a Samoa drop and go for a cover before calling the bell which causes mass confusion. This means Tatanka wins the match but HBK retains the belt. This ruins a very good match with a dusty finish. Luna than attacks Sherri after the match which means Tatanka has to help her back to the dressing room.

Rating – 6/10


The Headshrinkers (w. Afa) vs. The Steiner Brothers

It’s crazy that Scott Steiner has managed to go from looking to how he does in this match to looking like what he does now. He went from having a mullet and looking sort of normal to looking like a CAW from a wrestling game. I feel like I should be focusing more on the match than thinking how different Scott Steiner looks haha. This match is a very solid match. It’s the second solid match of the evening already which means the rest of the show must be awful if this is in the list of the worst PPV’s ever. There’s a lot of good back and forth action in this match with both teams looking very impressive. The Steiner brothers really could go back in the day. The match ends when The Master of the Frankensteiner unsurprisingly hits a Frankensteiner to win the match. Overall, the match is a very solid match, nothing much to complain about.

Rating – 6/10

IX2.jpg

Pre-Steriods Scott Steiner (Probably not)

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Next up is Crush vs. Doink The Clown, I am not particulary sure why this is a match at Wrestlemania. From what I know, Doink is a comedy character and I am not really sure who Crush is. The match is full of hijinks due to it being a Doink match. There are some before the match even starts with Doink spraying Crush with a flower, this annoys Crush who then begins to chase Doink on the outside. Crush dominates a lot of the early proceedings and just throws Doink about. Doink then does get back into the match and gets in a few moves of his own. Doink tries to get under the ring but Crush manages to get Doink back into the ring. The referee then takes a bump which means he’s knocked out forever as usual. This allows a second doink to come in from under the ring and hits Crush with a loaded cast. It’s the original Twin magic! The second Doink then gets back under the ring and the referee timely wakes up from his deep slumber and Doink gets the three count. Bill Alfonso then tells the ref what happens so they decide to actually check under the ring but the second doink is gone. A bit of an odd match really. Not really Wrestlemania standard.

Rating – 3/10

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ooh, this match looks a good one. Two extremely good wrestlers in their own right, what could possibly go wrong? Backlund tries to go for a handshake but in typical Razor fashion, he receives a toothpick to the face. I do love heel moves like that. The match starts off in normal fashion, a bit of back and forth action. Razor hits a few rights, a boot and a scoop slam. Backlund hits some hip tosses and an atomic drop. Razor Ramon then goes for a small package and gets the three count. Wait…..what? The match just abruptly ends before it even really begins. I checked Wikipedia for the match time and it only lasted 3:45 which is very good. I was expecting a lot more for this match and for it to be a lot longer.

Rating: 2/10

WWF Tag Team Championship: Money, Inc. © vs. The Mega-Maniacs (w. “Mouth of the South†Jimmy Hart)

The first thing I noticed in this match is how messed up Hogan’s eye looked. The announcers explained it as Money Inc. hired somebody to take him out. Money Inc do try and attack Hogan and Brutus before the bell but they are thrown out the ring so Hogan can do his old tear of my shirt shtick. The match starts off with Money Inc attacking Beefcake by ganging up on him with quick tags. Beefcake manages to get Hogan tagged in which means the crowd pops huge, Hogan really is over here. Hogan and Brutus then take control of this match. This leds to Money Inc then walking out and just trying to leave. The referee then says they will lose their titles if they don’t return, I didn’t realise referees could just make up rules on the fly. There’s a lot of good action in this match with a lot of big moves being hit. IRS and Brutus then fall onto the ref after an axe handle from Dibiase which lays Brutus, IRS and the ref out, Hogan still manages to get tagged in even though the ref is out. Hogan then gets Beefcake’s titanium mask and hits both members of Money Inc with it. Jimmy Hart then randomly turns his vest inside out and he has black and white referee stripes on. Jimmy Hart then counts the pin even though he’s not a licensed referee! Brutus and Hogan then celebrate like they’ve actually won even though it’s obvious they haven’t. Another referee then runs down and declares Money Inc the winners by DQ. Hogan and Brutus still pose like they’ve won anyway. A pretty good match ruined by a clusterfuck finish. It seems like a running theme.

Rating: 5/10

hoganwm9a.jpg

WWE: Hey it's Ted Dibiase being punched by....absolutely nobody at all

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Everytime I have seen Lex Luger wrestle, I haven’t been impressed with his wrestling ability. However, Mr Perfect could wrestle with a broom and make it look good. Luger decides to come out with 4 women in thongs which is pretty cool. This match is a pretty good match from a wrestling point of view. Luger actually sort of impresses me and Mr. Perfect is great as per usual. Quite of the match is brawling, punches and kicks rather than wrestling moves fill up the majority of the match but it is good nonetheless. However, once again the match has a dodgy finish. What a shocker than is. Lex Luger matches to hit a backslide cover on Mr Perfect who gets his feet on the ropes yet the referee somehow doesn’t notice and Lex Luger wins. After the match, both men start to brawl to the back. This is where HBK randomly jumps Mr. Perfect (I assume linked to a feud at the time) and Lex Luger just leaves before the referees pull HBK away from Mr. Perfect. Another good match with an unnecessary dodgy finish.

Rating: 5/10

The Giant Gonzalez (w. Harvey Whippleman) vs. The Undertaker (w. Paul Bearer)

I’ve heard before that this is by far The Undertaker’s worst ever Wrestlemania match, this is going to be great. The Undertaker’s entrance is absolutely great, as are many of his Wrestlemania entrances. This one features a Funeral Chariot which is awesome. The Giant Gonzalez’s ring attire is so odd, it just looks so weird in the ring. This match is absolutely terrible, simply put. The Giant Gonzalez is just far too big and the match is just all over the place. There’s not really much action at all in the match until the abomination of a finish. Whippleman decides to give Gonzalez a rag covered in chloroform, Gonzalez then headbutts Paul Bearer and uses the chloroform rag on The Undertaker which of course results in a disqualification. Yeah, I don’t know why this happened either. Undertaker is stretched out but decides he is fine and gets up to attack Giant Gonzalez. The silver lining of this match is that it’s the first match where a ridiculous ending can’t spoil a quite good match, it just fits the theme of the match.

Rating – 2/10

taker03.jpg

Has there ever been worst wrestling attire?

WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w. Mr. Fuji) vs. Bret “Hitman†Hart ©

Here we are, the main event of Wrestlemania. Surely this has got to be a good match right? Hogan announced in an interview before this match that he challenges the winner of the title match, I do wonder what’s going to happen. For a 500 pounder, Yokuzuna is an incredible wrestler. This match is quite good, but not Main Event of Wrestlemania good. Bret Hart spends the majority of the match trying to knock Yokozuna to the mat, he temporarily knocks him to the ground after a clothesline. Bret Hart manages to rip off the turnbuckle cover after Yokuzuna slammed him off the top rop. This exposes the steel from the turnbuckle. Yokuzuna then tries to slam Bret into the exposed steel but he reverses it and Yokozuna goes into the steel. This allows Bret to lock in the Sharpshooter and…..here comes another shitty finish. Mr Fuji decides to throw salt in Bret’s eyes which the referee doesn’t notice. Yokozuna then somehow pins Bret Hart as salt means you cannot kick out. Yokozuna is the new World Champion and this leads too….

WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w. Mr. Fuji) © vs Hulk Hogan

Hulk Hogan then decides to come out because he’s Hulk Hogan. Mr Fuji then decides to challenge Hulk Hogan for no reason, I hope all Fuji’s aren’t such bad decision makers ;). Mr Fuji tries to throw the salt in Hogan’s eyes but it goes in Yoko’s eyes which allows Hogan to hit the legdrop and get the three count. LOLHOGANWINS. The crowd pops massively for Hogan winning the title. It’s like a fairytale. Everyone goes home happy, unless you’re Bret Hart.

Rating: 1/10

This PPV was just horrific. There was actually some not bad matches but they were ruined by the stupid finishes. The Main Event was just horrible all round. What did everyone else think of Wrestlemania IX?

Overall rating: 30/80
 
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Postman Dave

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Genuinely becoming curious if I'm going to have seen a PPV on this list. I've been lucky and dodged most of the shit by pure chance.

Nevermind JR's outfit, look at Mean Gene!
 

Austin Bates

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You should watch some of Lex Luger's matches with Ric Flair if you think he's bad. They've had good ones.

This isn't a top WrestleMania, but I really like the Hart and Yoko match.
 

Fuji Vice

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'Mania IX is pretty bad. Not sure if it's the worst because XV exists, but it's definitely up there. The opener and the Steiners/Shrinkers tag were pretty solid though. Loved Rick's powerslam spot towards the end of the match. By the way Charlie, if you thought the 'Taker/Gonzalez match was bad, you should check out the one from SummerSlam '93 because it's even worse.