Aladdin's 3 Wishes

[Postman Dave]

As per Disney's hit 1992 animation, the rules are simple:

- You cannot wish for more wishes
- You cannot make someone fall in love with you
- You cannot kill someone
- You cannot bring someone back to life

You get 3 wishes. GO

 

[Lover Boy]

Easy stuff.

- Randy Orton's body (incredible biceps included)
- Drake's talent
- Justin Timberlakes looks

Fuck me, I would be the greatest man to ever live. Yeah, screw you Austin Aries.

 

[Sabretooth]

Have 10 billion dollars
Be super fucking good looking
Have a huge cock

 

[Lover Boy]

Have 10 billion dollars
Be super fucking good looking
Have a huge cock

In your mouth or what?

 

[Joey]

A stable job in the Arts
Live in a house in Paris, with a studio and living space
A woman

 

[Sabretooth]

In your mouth or what?

No that's your forte

 

[Austin Bates]

No that's your forte

Charlie must've had a little too much Champagne on that one...

 

[Fuji Vice]

1. To permanently feel like you've drank 3 beers.

2. Make Mt. Everest higher so people have a challenge again.

3. All lawyers disappear.


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[Apoho Creed]

1. 10 Million Dollars and I'm straight with my ability to hold onto money.
2. Go to a Mania just once in my life, instant transport me during the show I'll find my way home.
3. Have the ability to fly.

 

[Postman Dave]

1. Financial security. I don't want to be rich, the lifestyle ain't for me. I just don't want to ever have to worry about money again
2. 100% Health for life. A completely healthy body with no problems. I can still age & shit, just a break from stupid shit like ongoing health issues & injuries.
3. Ability to fly. Because duh.

Also like Fuji's first one.

 

[Lover Boy]

Come on guys, mine are easily the best.

Just imagine having a body like Ortons.

 

[Mitch Buchannon]

1. Linebacker's number 2
2. Linebacker's number 1
3. A good girl in my life

 

[Byron Hicks]

1. Immortality
2. Wealth
3.World Wide Weed Legalization

 

[Swamps]

1. That my children would always be safe, and have enough sense to make proper judgment.

2. That America wasn't so Goddamn politically correct and blind.

3. That I can fucking kick whose ever ass I wanted to, and never get arrested for it.

 

[Citan]

1. Get rid of my numerous health issues
2. Become rich
3: Genie, you're free!