37 Stitches by Drowning Pool plays as a huge pane of glass crashes to the ground from above the entrance area. The entire set jagged edges of metal and glass.
Martin Mays: Folks, ACW has now gone global that’s right we can be seen around the world and tonight we’re emanating live from Irving Plaza here in good ole New York, New York.
Kareem Ali: That’s right folks we’re branching out no longer are we in that Community Center down the road that could hold a massive three hundred people now our location can hold over one thousand.
Martin Mays: Do you have to be like that?
Kareem Ali: Like what?
Martin Mays: You know when John told me he wanted to go global that I didn’t have time to book some huge arena. I booked what was open.
Kareem Ali: And what was open was 30 miles way and could fit roughly half as many people right?
Martin Mays: Yeah!
Kareem Ali: So did I say something wrong.
Martin stares at the camera blankly for a moment.
Martin Mays: Two developing stories as we get underway this evening. Zach Bronko hasn’t arrived and nobody is completely sure why. Also John McHenry has some sort of huge announcement.
Mays mutters something under his breath about the two being related but Ali ignores him.
Kareem Ali: Folks stop I know what you’re thinking and it won’t be on twitter it’ll be announced live right here on pay per view.
Chase DeSanto v. Donnie Trix
Syndicate by Skrillex plays as Chase Desanto runs out his back towards the crowd as he spins around hyping them up. He rushes straight to the ring as he gets to the top rope and poses.
Ashley Sparxxx:x And his opponent.
Donnie walks out from the entrance with an intense look on his face as he lets out a battle cry. He walks straight for the ring, not even acknowledging the fans. As he enters the ring he stands in the middle looking at Desanto.
Kareem Ali: Donnie looks intense I do not envy Desanto right now.
Donnie charges Desanto just as the bell rings delivering a clothesline. Donnie quickly pulls Desanto to his feet whipping him into a turnbuckle.
Martin Mays: Now have your heard the reports that Desanto is actually Drew Alexander?
Kareem Ali: Say what?
Martin Mays: Desanto claims that he is Drew Alexander that he just had on some make up and was leading a double life.
Kareem Ali: Doesn’t matter who he is he’s losing this match right now.
Desanto stumbles out of the turnbuckle area as Donnie charges with a spear but at the last moment Desanto steps out of the way.
Martin Mays: Desanto had that one scouted.
Kareem Ali: Seems like something a former World Championship contender might do.
Donnie gets up slowly as Desanto delivers a flurry of kicks to Donnies ribs as he gets to his fee. Donnie screams at Desanto picking him up delivering the Soulcrusher.
Martin Mays: And this match is over folks.
Kareem Ali: No it’s not Donnie isn’t done.
Donnie lifts Desanto up delivering another Soulcrusher, before finally going for the pin.
1.
2..
3…
Ashley Sparxxx: Your winner via Pinfall DONNIE TRIX.
Tables, Ladders, and Chairs
Andrew Reynolds v. Avalanche v. Jay Clement
No DQ, No Countout, No Referee
Jacqui Monroe v. The Demon
As ACW returns from commercial, a familiar theme begins on the big screen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljbBayiWglg
Martin Mays: All right! It’s time for Jacqui M to get her long-awaited revenge over this Demon who’s been…
The announcer’s words are cut short, as static flickers across the flatscreen and through the PA, and the familiar entrance song changes to a completely different one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljbBayiWglg
Kareem Ali: …what the…?
Dark, nightmarish images begin to flicker across the screen, in time to the industrial beat. After a few moments, a female steps out onto the platform – but, at first glance, it appears not to be who everyone was expecting.
Martin Mays: Is that….Jacqui?!
Kareem Ali: Well, she’s the right size and build, and she’s got the same great set a’ knockers…
The commentators’ doubts are founded, as the woman now standing before the crowd looks almost nothing like the “Alpha Female” the fans grew accustomed to. Her long, flowing blonde hair has disappeared completely, replaced with a jet-black Mohawk. The usual loose-fitting band t-shirts and ripped denims have also been eschewed, in favour of black leather pants, a studded belt, steel-cap boots, motorcycle gloves and a black t-shirt which proudly reads “ASK ME IF I CARE”. The new figure’s considerable height, muscular build and large eyes (masked with coloured contact lenses) are the only indicators that this is, in fact, Jacqui M.
In this new apparition’s right hand is a motorcycle helmet, which she tosses aside as she comes down the ramp towards the ring; in her left, she is holding a lit cigarette, which suffers a similar fate.
Kareem Ali: Whoooooa! Watch out! Badass bitch in the house!
As the entirety of the arena watches in stunned silence, the “new” Jacqui M picks up a microphone from ringside and steps through the ropes, into the squared circle. Looking up at the flabbergasted stands, she then says a simple sentence:
Jacqui M: Haven’t you people ever heard of a makeover?
Then, leaning on the ropes and making eye contact with the announcers, she concludes:
Jacqui M: And another thing…the name is Lisbeth Salander. Capeesh?
And with this, she tosses the microphone away and waits for her loathed opponent to appear.
She doesn’t have to wait long as, soon, the lights go down, while creepy music and a dark mist fill the arena. Through this curtain of eeriness emerges the familiar figure of the Demon, slithering down to the ring and making the children at rampside recoil into their mother’s soothing bosom.
Martin Mays: Well, here he comes, and Jacqui…Lisbeth…whoever she is…can finally have her revenge!
The female wrestler, however, does not seem in too much of a hurry, as she patiently waits for the Demon to approach the ring. He does, sliding in under the bottom rope, and almost instantly makes a lunge for his nemesis.
Martin Mays: Jacqui, look OUT!
Jacqui/Lisbeth, however, came prepared. No sooner has Demon taken off on a flying leap, that he is being sprayed in the face with the contents of a can of mace! The female superstar’s resourcefulness, and her deadpan demeanour as she squeezes the aerosol, elicit a chuckle from the stands. Jacqui looks up at the fans, smirking and shrugging one shoulder as if to say “men, right?” Then, as Demon staggers around rubbing his eyes, she picks him up and floors him in a quick DDG!
Martin Mays: Jacqui looking to finish this early, and be done with this creep! And there’s no DQ, so the mace is legal!
Kareem Ali: Bitch gone crazy, yo!
Martin Mays: Who can blame her?!
As the two announcers discuss the female wrestler’s actions, she stands in the ring, waiting for Demon to get up before sending him back to the canvas with a double axe handle. She kicks his head for good measure, then – after making sure he’s down – steps out of the ring and rummages under it, in the weapons section. She does so leisurely, taking her time, thinking the Demon has stayed down. However, she is soon unpleasantly surprised, as the unholy face-painted freak leaps over the ropes in a suicide plancha! Jacqui has just enough time to dodge, aiming a kick at the Demon’s head before hitting him with her helmet, which she had left on the floor by the ring. To her surprise, the Demon just catches it in his hands, continuing to advance towards her with a demented grin.
Martin Mays: Uh-oh…things not going as planned for Jacqui here, and with no DQ and no referee, her own stipulation may have just turned against her!
Kareem Ali: That’s what you get when you’re a smart-ass, Mays!
Jacqui/Lisbeth, however, seems far from defeated. As she slowly backs towards the ramp, waiting for the Demon to pounce again, she rummages in her tight leather pants. Then, as he leaps towards her, she swings her arm forward at lightning speed and zaps him with several volts of electricity!
Kareem Ali: What the shit…?! A TASER?!
Martin Mays (whooping): When she said she’d take a page from the Girl Who Played With Fire, she meant it!
Kareem Ali: A taser?! A TASER?!
Martin Mays: Well, it’s no DQ and there’s no referee, Ali. And this guy’s a menace! Why not? Only problem is, tasers are illegal in the state of New York. But maybe they’ll make an exception, given the circumstances…
After the tasing, which has sent the small crowd at Irving Plaza bonkers, Jacqui gets cocky again. Thinking there’s no way anyone can walk away from a zap of electricity, she turns her back to leave…and is attacked from behind by the Demon!
Martin Mays: What…?! How?! This guy isn’t human!
Kareem Ali: Wow, Mays, what a newsflash! Alert the media!
Caught off-guard, Jacqui has no immediate strategy to cope with the attack from the Demon, so, for a few moments, the two just roll around, each trying to choke the other one out. Eventually, Jacqui starts hitting fists to the side of Demon’s head, loosening his grip on her enough to kick her legs in the air and shove him away. He charges back, but Jacqui rolls out of the way and he crashes into the barricade, making the fans there recoil in horror!
The shoulder-slamming, however, does not seem to stop him, as he charges Jacqui before she’s even on her feet. His knee hits the female superstar smack in the face, sending her hurtling to the ground.
Martin Mays: Demon back with the upper hand, and our Lisbeth in trouble here!
Kareem Ali: You mean Jacqui.
Martin Mays: No, I mean Lisbeth. Didn’t you hear what she said? She wants to be called that now!
Kareem Ali: Fuck that! I’m’a call her Jacqui!
Martin Mays can be heard sighing, as the two wrestlers have now gotten up and are trading punches on the outside. Eventually, Jacqui manages to dodge one of Demon’s, and decks him across the jaw with an uppercut, bringing another pop from the crowd. She follows it up with a spinning heel kick, sending the corpse-painted freak tumbling down once again!
Not wasting a second, knowing her opponent will be back at any moment, Jacqui reaches over and grabs one of the lighting cubes at either side of the ramp. Initially unable to lift it, she eventually gives it one good heave, ripping it off the floor, cables and all. Then, she turns towards Demon, a manic glint in her eye.
Martin Mays: What is she…WHOA!
Jacqui has just swung the massive, heavy projector straight at Demon’s temple, drawing blood!
Crowd: HO-LY-SHIT! HO-LY-SHIT!
The Girl Who Played With Fire, however, has no time to bask in the adulation of the fans. She steps towards the Demon, who is clutching his head, in the first sign of weakness, and attempts to lock in her submission move, the standing headscissors known as the Emasculation. Demon, however, powers out, throwing her overhead. As the former blonde topples to the floor, the unnatural aberration staggers around, clutching his temple, as if in the throes of a massive migraine.
Martin Mays: The Demon is feeling that hit from earlier!
However, the pain is not enough to blind the hellish creature, who predicts – correctly – that Jacqui will attack from behind, and dodges. Caught in the momentum of her run, the female athlete staggers forward, out of balance, and Demon wastes no time: he leaps towards her, spins her around, rams her back-first against the post and begins to choke her out!
Martin Mays: NO! Somebody make this STOP!
Kareem Ali: That’s what you get when you request no referee, Mays!
Martin Mays (distraught): Will you SHUT UP?!
As the Demon continues to exert his superiority, the cameras focus in on a chubby-cheeked little girl, maybe six or seven, with a Jacqui M t-shirt and tears in her eyes. She seems to be willing the Demon to stop. The beastly freak, however, continues to apply the choke hold until his foe has toppled to the floor, unconscious.
Martin Mays: Well...Demon won…I guess…
The supernatural fiend staggers a few more steps, towards the ramp, holds an arm up in victory…then falls to his knees and hits the floor, having seemingly also passed out.
Martin Mays: Somebody get the EMTs in here!
As if on cue, EMTs rush in to tend to both wrestlers. Jacqui is the first to recover, and brushes aside the medics who are taking care of Demon before aiming a kick at her tormentor’s head. Surprisingly, not a soul in the arena dares to object. Then, she painstakingly climbs the apron, slumping against the turnbuckle and slowly sliding to the floor, in a defeated, exhausted position.
Meanwhile, the medics have resumed treatment on Demon, who slowly seems to be coming around as well, much to Martin Mays’ displeasure:
Martin Mays: I don’t know what they’re treating him for…serves him right…
However, both the announcer and everyone present at the Irving Plaza is surprised when the Demon comes to and, instead of lashing out on everybody, begins to step towards the figure slumped in the ring, moaning plaintively:
Demon: JACQUI…JACQUI!!!
Martin Mays: What?! Does he want some more?! The sadistic pig!
However, when he reaches the prone woman in the ring, the Demon’s attitude is soothing. As he takes her face in his hands, however, he notices the body-paint all over his arms and steps back, in horror, shrieking. He tears at the face-paint, then tugs at his hair. To everyone’s surprise – including his – it comes off; it was only a wig!
Martin Mays: What the…?! That’s…that’s…!
Raiden Blaze slumps down by his fallen friend, crying and blubbering, calling her name over and over. Somehow, he’s managed to recognize her, despite the change in appearance. The commotion makes the female wrestler look up briefly, and she can be heard moaning her friend’s name:
Jacqui M (groggily): Raiden…? Raiden…?
Raiden Blaze: Yeah, it’s me, you’re fine, Jacqui, you’re fine!
Jacqui, however, is not soothed. She takes one look at the half-Raiden, half-freak in front of her and explodes:
Jacqui M: NO….!
She lunges at her friend-cum-foe, pinning him to the mat and punishing him with stiff right and left hooks, as she repeats manically:
Jacqui M: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
After a few seconds, however – enough to have Raiden/Demon in utter confusion, she slumps forward again, weary from exhaustion. Raiden looks down at her, panicking, before requesting a mic and addressing the crowd:
Raiden Blaze: This…this…what’s going on?! Who did this to my friend Jacqui? Who cut her hair and dyed it black?! Who beat her up?! WHO?!
The frantic cry for help is met with a stunned silence from the stands, as Blaze continues:
Raiden Blaze: I mean, one minute I’m with Jacqui, jokin’ around and buying a soda…and now I’m here, and she’s like this, and I’ve got paint on…what am I gonna do?! We’ve got that Triple Threat match with Bronko later on!
Kareem Ali: What match?!
Suddenly, Raiden’s eye is caught by one of the banners reading “ACW Striking Distance”, increasing his befuddlement:
Raiden Blaze: Striking Distance?! What’s Striking Distance?! It should say Riot Act!! We’re at Riot Act!
Kareem Ali: Somebody’s a little late there, Rip Van Winkle…
The crowd begin to chant the name of the new PPV, as Raiden/Demon flails around in confusion. And then, as if to make matters worse, the cops arrive.
Kareem Ali: Oh shit, it’s the feds!
Leading the officers is ACW General Manager John McHenry, looking helpless. It is clearly against his will that the agents go down to the ring and handcuff the lifeless body of Jacqui/Lisbeth, apprehending the taser which led to their presence there. The fans begin to cotton on and boo the authority figures, even going as far as to throw paper cups and other items at them. The policemen, however, remain stone-faced, dragging the female superstar up the ramp as Raiden/Demon walks alongside them, pleading. Seeing there is nothing he can do, he waits until John McHenry and the police agents have left, and picks up the microphone again, for some final words:
Raiden Blaze: Something’s really weird’s goin’ on here guys…but I’ll get to the bottom of this…I’ll get to the bottom of this!
And with that, he limps back through the curtain, leaving a dead-silent and absolutely astonished arena behind him.
Barbed Wire Cage Match w/ Weapons
Dr. Frank Urwhich v. Multiplex v. Toyota Chelios
Tornado Tag Team Match
Starrdom Nation v. The LWO
#1 Contendership to the ACW International Championship
Aaron Asterisk v. Brandon Banks v. Dave Summers v. Stevie Starr
ACW Tag Team Championships
RipperCussions v. The Bradleys
ACW International Championship
Nicky Trix (c) v. Abram Vance
ACW Heavyweight Championship
Syn (c) v. Eric Snow v. Zack Bronko
Quick Results
Chase DeSanto v. Donnie Trix v. The Angel
Andrew Reynolds v. Avalanche v. Jay Clement
Jacqui Monroe v. The Demon
Dr. Frank Urwhich v. Multiplex v. Toyota Chelios
Starrdom Nation v. The LWO
Aaron Asterisk v. Brandon Banks v. Dave Summers v. Stevie Starr
RipperCussions v. The Bradleys
Nicky Trix (c) v. Abram Vance
Syn (c) v. Eric Snow v. Zack Bronko
Credits
Chase DeSanto v. Donnie Trix v. The Angel: ~Primetime~
Andrew Reynolds v. Avalanche v. Jay Clement: The_King
Jacqui Monroe v. The Demon: Pete
Dr. Frank Urwhich v. Multiplex v. Toyota Chelios:BDC
Starrdom Nation v. The LWO:BDC
Aaron Asterisk v. Brandon Banks v. Dave Summers v. Stevie Starr: ~Primetime~
RipperCussions v. The Bradleys: The_King
Nicky Trix (c) v. Abram Vance: Pete
Syn (c) v. Eric Snow v. Zack Bronko: ~Primetime~
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