1HW - One Hour Wrestling

[Hoss]

1hourwrestling.com - News Release - Blockbuster Trade

The now notoriously inventive and cagy owner of One Hour Wrestling, Palmer Canon, had the pleasure of announcing that he has reached a trade agreement with Dope As Fuck Wrestling Alliance, to acquire potentially the biggest superstar in the world, John Cena via trade. As part of the trade, 1HW will send DFWA “The King of Diamonds†Eddie Kingston and one other superstar that is to be announced at a later date. Guesses regarding who the unknown superstar are have already been swirling around, while some fans have guessed everyone from “The Littlest Lumberjack†Grizzly Redwood all the way to Wahoo McDaniel. Canon has dismissed any rumors and it’s assumed at this time that the wrestler in question will have some sort of storyline to work out before being shipped to DFWA.

Regarding Cena’s future, it was told exclusively to this website by Palmer Canon himself that Cena will debut at 1HW’s second ever event, obviously now titled, “The Sweet ‘n’ Sour Power Hourâ€. His opponent is still unknown, and whether or not he’ll even compete in in-ring competition is also unknown. The mysteries surrounding the Chain Gang Soldier’s future are limitless.

 

[Hoss]

AND NOW, Live from the Mandalay Bay Events Center in scenic Las Vegas, Nevada…
We welcome you to the debut event of a lifetime!
Or perhaps the year!
Maybe for this week, at least for this week!
1HW PROUDLY PRESENTS THE MUCH ANTICIPATED EVENT…

GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS​

[We pan into the Mandalay Bay events center where the bright lights are flashing and the fans and cheering. The place has been set up in purple and gold for tonight’s event. The 1HW logo is plastered all over the arena and the fans are hyped up after a long night of Vegas madness, and excited for what waits after the show even. We cut to the chase as an unrecognizable electronic groove type of song hit’s the speakers, heralding the arrival of the owner of 1HW Palmer Canon, who saunters to the ring to the cheers of the crowd, before taking a microphone.]

Palmer Canon - “Alright! Now this is what I’m talking about. I’m not going to bore you with a big long drawn out speech about how much I appreciate it and how 1HW is here to entertain you… because I’ll let the action do the talking! We’ve got the finest wrestlers in the business here tonight, ready and willing to lay their lives on the line to please you ladies and gents, so with no…â€￾

[Canon is cut off by the sound of “Take A Load Offâ€￾ by Stone Temple Pilots, as the lights suddenly turn pink and “Prettyâ€￾ Peter Avalon appears! He comes slinking to the ring with a smug look and nice white vest on as he climbs the staircase with a microphone in hand.]

Peter Avalon - “Palmer old pal, I’m sorry to intrude on your little warm, non-cliché welcoming of all these ‘beautiful’ people, but buddy, riddle me this… HOW do you plan to give these folks an exciting, fast-paced show when you don’t got Pretty Pete on the card?â€￾

Palmer Canon - “I see your lips moving Petey, but all I’m hearing is bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch… Look, don’t get your panties in a knot little buddy, I do have an hour-long time limit to fit into tonight, so I can’t get you a new match. But the good news is, I don’t have a main event for next week. Now, I was in my office earlier, trying to get everything organized when I had another little birdie in there bothering me about a spot on the card. That man was Eddie Kingston. So this is what I’m going to do… you versus “The King of Diamondsâ€￾ Eddie Kingston next week!â€￾

Peter Avalon - “Alright, alright, he’s got a solid 100-pound weight advantage on me but I am afraid of no man!â€￾

Palmer Canon - “Good, that’s actually… that’s actually good to hear, because now… it’s a Loser Leaves Vegas match! Yeah, actually I noticed today that I’m hideously overpaying for some folks and this way, I can take one of you off of my pay roll! So next week, right here ladies and gents, it will be “Prettyâ€￾ Peter Avalon versus “The King of Diamondsâ€￾ Eddie Kingston, LOSER LEAVES VEGAS! Someone will not return to 1HW, but now, we’ve got a tag match!â€￾

[Palmer drops his microphone and exit’s the ring as Peter Avalon chases him down trying to plea with him off the microphone, but Palmer will have none of it. In fact, he completely asks like the 150-pounder isn’t even saying anything to him, as he waves at the cheering fans while he walks up the ramp.]

Arrogance [Scott Lost and Chris Bosh] def. Real Hazard [SHINGO and YAMATO] after Scott Lost rolled up with a handful of trunks. After the match, Chris Bosh challenged Team Canada, with no response. [9:23]

[We’re taken from the ring and sent to the back (presumably) as we come upon a gymnasium, jam-packed with multiple superstars from 1HW. Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood can be found in the corner, working on a heavy bag together, while notorious strongman Tony Atlas is off to the side, dead lifting an enormous weight. Kristal Marshall, the 1HW head interviewer is seen peaking around at the muscle men getting pumped. Walking into frame is one of the greatest Native American wrestlers of all-time, Wahoo McDaniel who looks pumped for the show.]

Kristal Marshall - “Ok, I’m standing here right now of course with Wahoo McDaniel, the big chestnut tree himself. Wahoo, there are so many questions, but I think what would be best considering the wide variety of talent on hand is, who in 1HW do you look most forward to wrestling with?â€￾

Wahoo McDaniel - “Kristal, I’ve never been in a promotion like this. I have never seen the likes of men like Tim Donst and Real Hazard. These men fight differently, and think differently, and can be dangerous. At the same time, I have met men like Ken Patera and Tony Atlas before and I know what they can do. I’ve seen them move like the Eagle in the sky and pounce like wolves upon unsuspecting prey. They too are dangerous. But danger is not something you live to fear, but something you live to tame. You must live to face the danger and overcome it, so that you can attain pride. With that said, I want the biggest threats. I want those who I see as the biggest challenges, and no challenge is larger than Giant Gonzales. As large as this yeti-man is, he has weaknesses and I would aim to exploit them. I thrive off of competition like battling rams living on mountain tops, and I would love to buck horns with this colossus.â€￾

Kristal Marshall - “Intriguing. You talk about dangers, so what do you think of 1HW’s newest signing John Cena? He’s dangerous huh?â€￾

Wahoo McDaniel - “Young Cena is so strong. He has the might of 20 bear cubs and has been taught to use it. His abilities are great and his heart, greater. I can say that I honor the -â€￾

[Wahoo is cut off, by Jack Swagger who appears in the frame, snatching the microphone right from Kristal’s hands.]

Jack Swagger - “John Cena? Let me talk about John Cena for a moment if I could. John Cena is a lie. His career has been based off of political power and curb appeal. He gets the little kiddies riled up, so his promoters tell his opponents to throw the match. I know it, because I’ve lived it. The jokers who book Cena want to keep him on top, and want him to thrive so they can make them cash. But I’ve got bad news for Cena. Little did he know that when it comes to 1HW, it isn’t about the money, it’s about performing. Me and Palmer have spoken about it. Extensively. Things are going to balanced here and there will be no backroom bologna, what you see is what you get. Meaning that when me and Cena eventually lock horns, when you see him tap out to the most feared ankle lock in the business, that will be what you get. That will be the truth. That will be the result of two gladiators coming to war. And when this happens all of you popcorn eating, beer sipping, money wasting, strip club going heathens can rest assured that Jack Swagger is better than John Cena. I’m the All-American American and there is no one on God’s green Earth that can outwrestle me. Nobody!â€￾

[Swagger throws the microphone, effectively destroying it against the floor of the gym. Kristal realizes she can’t continue the interview and Wahoo just shakes his head at the confident youth.]

Icarus def. Akuma, Johnny Devine, Ruffy Silverstein, BxB Hulk, and Cyber Kong following Icarus scoring a surprise sunset flip pin victory on Cyber Kong. In the process of the match, Scott D’Amore had got himself ejected, only to return and accidentally bust Ruffy over the head with the flagpole of Team Canada’s flag. After the match, Scott actually scolded Ruffy for the lost, in an unusual instance. [6:25]

[Following the match, Icarus helped Akuma up out of the corner where he had laid prone before taking a microphone for himself, standing in the middle of the ring and propping up his pal.]

Icarus - “Tonight you saw the first little glimpse at the domination of Team F.I.S.T. There could be only one winner tonight, and unfortunately Akuma, that winner had to be me. But a win for F.I.S.T is a win for all. Even though technically, it’s only going down as a win for Icarus. But that’s neither here nor there! The point is, every other stable, team, and single’s superstar in this entire federation can fuck off. This is F.I.S.T turf, son! Take it from me jerk offs, you might not be afraid of our size and stature. You may not fear out mad skillz, but we’ve got one thing you don’t got. Matching wrestling tights, motherfuckers! And if that’s all that sets us apart, then so be it! But in due time you’ll all come to realize that one other thing that sets us apart is that we’re all winners, meaning all we do is win! We win, win, win, win no matter what. Victory is my middle name. We live, sleep, eat, and breath win. Win is in our blood. The moral of the story… is that F.I.S.T WINS! GET USED TO IT!â€￾

[Icarus drops the microphone and does a crop chop to the fans as he hops out of the ring, holding his arms up to a fountain of boos. Akuma follows close behind and taunts the fans at ringside as they swat at him and get wildly ruckus.]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[We’re setting up for the main event, as Palmer Canon makes his way to ringside, to no music, deciding to take a seat beside Jesse Ventura and Disco Machine, putting on a headset, apparently being ready to call the action for the main event.]

Palmer Canon - “Hello, gentlemen!â€￾

Jesse Ventura - “Welcome Mr. Canon, to whom do we owe this pleasure?â€￾

Palmer Canon - “To me, you can write me a check if you don’t have any cash. But that’s a different conversation for a different day, Jesse. Right now I’m just fired up for our first ever main event! Singlet wars, baby!â€￾

Disco Machine - “I meant to ask, Palmer, what do you have against singlets?â€￾

Palmer Canon - “There’s just too many of them, OK!? Can we just focus on the match, please..â€￾

[In due time, both Tim Donst and Jack Swagger make their entrances, leaving only Ken Patera to make his entrance. Soon, “Born In The USAâ€￾ kicks in over the speakers as the strobe lights attached to the rafters hanging above the ring start to swirl around, projecting blue and red lights all around the arena. Patera soon emerges from the back, and with him, is his old tag team partner, Brad Rheingans! Ken Patera requests a microphone before heading down to the ring.]

Ken Patera - “Yeah, yeah, guess who it is! Damn right it’s Brad Rheingans! Right here in 1HW, I am reforming The Olympians with my old buddy and together, with our combined power, we’re going to choke this place into submission! BELIEVE IT!â€￾

[Ken drops the mic and continues to head to the ring.]

Disco Machine - “That’s quite the bombshell, eh fellas?â€￾

Palmer Canon - “Mother fucker! ANOTHER SINGLET TO DEAL WITH! Did Ken think this match was nothing? Now I’m pissed!â€￾

[Regardless, Patera hops in the ring and his partner stops off beside the ring to play the managerial role for this high profile match-up!]

Tim Donst def. Ken Patera and Jack Swagger by hitting Swagger with a bridged northern lights suplex, resulting off of a shot he took from Patera who had powder accidentally thrown in his eyes by his partner, Brad Rheingans [13:07]

[Donst parades around the ring with his music blaring as the still blinded Ken Patera rolls out of the ring where he is helped out by Brad Rheingans. Swagger also rolls from the ring, licking his wounds and shaking his head in anger.]

Disco Machine - “It was a valiant attempt, but in the end it was the youthful Tim Donst who prevailed above all! Brad Rheingans definitely dropped the ball for his partner tonight!â€￾

Jesse Ventura - “I bet he did it on purpose! That’s why I always say you can’t trust no one! You gotta have eyes in the back of your head!â€￾

Disco Machine - “Mistake or not it was a blunder and Donst made sure to capitalize! This is a big win for him without a… hey, wait a minute! Real Hazard seems to be storming to ringside!â€￾

[Just as Machine has said it, the members of Real Hazard emerge from the back, sprinting down to the ring! SHINGO grabs Swagger on the outside and maliciously throws him shoulder first into the steps before stomping a mud hole in him! At the same time, BxB Hulk and Cyber Kong head to the opposite side of the ring and take The Olympians by storm. Hulk gives Ken a knee to the gut and whips him down with a snap suplex out on the floor. Cyber Kong drops Brad with a piledriver onto a steel chair he had laid out as the Olympian member shudders in pain. YAMATO stormed the ring at the same time and grabbed Donst, spun him around and planted him with a DDT. Cyber Kong took the chair and slid it into the ring where YAMATO took possession of it, before wrapping it around Donst’s ankle.]

[Suddenly, the crowd lights up as suddenly, KEVIN STEEN comes plowing to ringside, with a black lead pipe in his hand. He slides into the ring and instantly cracks YAMATO with a jab into the rib cage, followed by slamming the pipe over his back! BxB Hulk hops into the ring to come to the save, but is stopped by Steen who clips his knee with the pipe. Cyber Kong and SHINGO try to pull Hulk out but Steen jerks him further into the ring. None of the Real Hazard members dare jump in the ring as Steen waves them away with the pipe. He grabs the chair, drops it in the center of the ring and looks at the retreating trio of Real Hazard members as he lifts up their comrade and drops him with a sick Package Piledriver on the steel chair!]

Disco Machine - “Good gravy! Kevin Steen just killed BxB Hulk! What’s he doing here though!? Have you signed him, Palmer?â€￾

Palmer Canon - “No, I certainly haven’t! But after that save, I don’t think I’ve got any choice!â€￾

Jesse Ventura - “What a miscarriage of justice!â€￾

Disco Machine - “What?â€￾

Jesse Ventura - “I’m just here for the paycheck…â€￾

[Swagger, Patera, and Rheingans roll into the ring, nursing their injuries as Steen helps Donst get to his feet. All five men look down the aisle at YAMATO, SHINGO, and Cyber Kong who are shouting in their native language at the men.]

Disco Machine - “Look at these five! These are five PISSED individuals!â€￾

Palmer Canon - “They certainly are. Look at these… hey wait! You’ve gotta be shitting me! THERE ARE FIVE SINGLETS IN MY RING! FIVE! Well damn it. Damn it all. I’ve got five damn singlets on my roster and not a thing to do with them!

Disco Machine - “It perplexes me how anyone can possess such a blind hatred for such a random object.â€￾

Palmer Canon - “You just don’t understand.â€￾

Jesse Ventura - “Well these are certainly some interesting developments. All I can say is that Steen couldn’t have come at a better time, baby. He made an impact though, that’s for sure!â€￾

Palmer Canon - “And that’s all I ever wanted. Well that’s it for 1PW, goodnight folks!â€￾

[The show fades off air as Swagger, Donst, Rheingans, Patera, and Steen stand over BxB Hulk’s broken body in the ring.]

 

[JakeYourBooty]

excellent stuff EC...glad to see people not to happy about the cena signing and the return of the Olympians

 

[W-olf]

Great stuff organized show too easy to read and I can't wait on the next one and Im liking the roster Cena and A-Ry use them well my good sir but I can tell you will hehe.

 

[Fuji Vice]

Really liked Wahoo trying to defend Cena and then Swagger cutting him off in the shoot. The interview stuff is actually quite good EC, and definitely something a little different.

Would have preferred to see BxB Hulk win the six man but Icarus is a good choice as well. Nice to see the heel manager blaming his charge for his own mistakes too, that's a nice touch.

Donst going over? YES!!! That's exactly what I was looking for and hey, this should be just the beginning for him. And then to end the show my boy BxB Hulk gets murdered by Kevin Steen? Ouch. This is my kind of fed, where anything and everything can happen. Good stuff.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

Loved it man...the singlet hate has me in stitches

Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using Tapatalk

 

[Hoss]

1HW stays in Vegas, visiting the MGM Grand Center for their big follow-up show..

THE SWEET AND SOUR POWER HOUR!

It was a triumphant debut at the Mandalay Bay Events Center when 1HW presented Gone In Sixty Minutes. As conflicts in 1HW continue to grow and evolve, we return to the strip for The Sweet and Sour Power Hour, featuring:

4x4 POWER RAGE!
Mike Quackenbush, Alex Riley, and The Olympians vs. Arrogance and The All Night Express

Patera and Rheingans might not like it, but they will be forced to play face this week, teaming with Mike Quackenbush and the debuting Alex Riley to combat the very hot Arrogance, and the also debuting All Night Express in an eight-man tag match to establish a pecking order in 1HW. You can bet that both Ken and Brad will be wrestling with a chip on their shoulder after the attack from Real Hazard last week, but just the same, Arrogance do mean business as they continue to work toward a match with Team Canada, who refused to respond to a challenge last week.

LOSER LEAVES VEGAS
“Prettyâ€￾ Peter Avalon vs. “The King of Diamondsâ€￾ Eddie Kingston

Petey got a little fresh with the Head Honcho, Palmer Canon last week and now he’s forced to put his 1HW career on the line as he faces Eddie Kingston in this battle to determine who’s out of the promotion. It would be hard to make a case for Peter’s abilities to take the win here, but it is possible that PPA has an ace up his sleeve.

THEY DREW FIRST BLOOD!
BxB Hulk vs. Kevin Steen

Main eventing the card is BxB Hulk vs. Kevin Steen. After Real Hazard took things into their own hands and attacked Tom Donst, Jack Swagger, and The Olympians last week, Steen make an impactful debut and ruined their fun, attacking multiple members of Real Hazard and most notably destroying BxB Hulk with a huge package piledriver onto a folding chair. BxB Hulk is no chicken, but he cannot be looking forward to coming eye to eye with the remarkably violent Kevin Steen this week!

So tune in on all the chaos as 1HW brings to you…

THE SWEET AND SOUR POWER HOUR!​