Sky's Good Matches Thread (formerly You Decide What Sky Watches)

[Storm Trooper]

Side note - I've decided to permanently re-open submissions, because fuck it, why not? Get some more variety in there. And not some more Buff Bagwell. Please.

Thanks, I finally got to send mine hopefully you do it soon. Great match to add to your list pretty quickly.

 

[Jay-Ashley]

@Sky @Chris

Straight Exóticos have existed since the 1940s, the first being Gardenia Davis. Think of him like the Mexican version or answer to Gorgeous George.

The point of Exóticos is to challenge the hyper-machismo culture of Lucha Libre and even Mexican / Latin culture as a whole, something I know since I am half Mexican and was a guy. It also challenges what a "man" should and should not be, or how they should be presented since some men are more effeminate than others. Another point is that it shows that a maricon, a word I will not say because I am sure I am not allowed to say it, can defend themselves and fight. Following that, it also opens people's eyes to LGBTQ+ people and sometimes change their view on them or accept them and introduces them to a culture thye may never have known about and all. Strangely enough as well it shows and even empowers women that they can wrestle just like a "man" and even sometimes be better than them. Leading from that in Mexico a woman and man can't wrestle each other so a Exótico is seen a female "spirit" fighting a male. Again, that concept is a bit weird, but if you understand Latin or Native American culture then you get it.

As for Máximo, he began as several different characters and was supposed to have a Roman-esque gimmick since he was supposed to part of Los Romanos, aka Grim's favorite wrestling stable, but later was changed to a Exótico for apparently two reasons. One being how famine Roman Emperors were seen as and all, and two being that apparently Máximo isn't a "traditional" male in a Mexican sense, think metrosexual basically.

 

[Sky]

Ooh that's really informative, thank you

 

[Jay-Ashley]

Ooh that's really informative, thank you

You are welcome, and sorry for the delay

 

[Sky]

Match #38
Blue Panther vs. Virus
Lightning Match
CMLL Guerreros del Ring - May 18, 2013​

Oh hey, more lucha! Though I'm not expecting terribly much, as there's a combined age of 98 in that match. A "lightning match", apparently, is a 10-minute time limit, one fall match, which is unusual in CMLL. Let's get right into it!

For some reason, this match is introduced by women in bikinis, and once again, just like in the Maximo match, on the ramp just as the match starts are more women in bikinis. I'm not complaining, but is it that hard to draw in an audience without women in bikinis everywhere? This is Lucha Libre, dammit! Collar and elbow tie-up to start, and Virus gets the first headlock. Panther breaks out of it by stomping down Virus' knee and gets an armlock. Then Virus grabs the ankle and resists Panther's attempts to turn him over by keeping the hold. Huh, guess I underestimated the older luchadores. I guess the style of hold and counterhold is something that can still be done with age.

Panther wraps his legs around Virus' arm and goes for a cross armbreaker but can't extend the arm before Virus goes into a Tabla Marina. Virus then extends Panther's arm so hard that his opponent can grab him by the waist with his other arm... but then he turns around and locks said other arm! Always have a plan. Panther does eventually get a hold of Virus' left knee, but rather than going for the rope break Virus fights out of it and ties Panther's legs up in a knot. That looks legitimately painful. He's crushing a guy's foot in between his own knee pit. There's a bit more countering, neither able to get absolute control, until they just get up and stare each other down. I LOVE that little detail. They're evenly matched!

This time it's Panther, looking every one of his 53 years, who manages to establish control with a wristlock... until Virus flips out of it! Doesn't stop him getting his arm dragged and worked though. Virus goes for a headscissors, gets slammed, but succeeds on the second attempt. Powerful life lesson there: always keep trying. Panther wriggles out, shouts something at Virus' crotch for some reason... and another staredown!

Virus establishes a hammerlock that, unlike most previous holds in this match, actually stays in for a while, even when he rolls through, and when Panther goes for a slam. When that's broken, he attempts to extend the knee into a kneebar, which Panther reverses and goes for a surfboard attempt. The latter fails because Virus just flops his leg to the side so Panther can't get his foot behind his knee. That's the sort of thing you only understand from experience! Then there's a hold I really can't describe. Virus looks like he's going for some sort of reverse surfboard (arms meeting legs rather than arms-arms and legs-legs) but he doesn't grab Panther's legs, he just falls back and stretches the arms. It's weird. They roll for a bit to establish a pin, which Virus does getting two with a bridging combination.

Virus has hurt his knee as we get to staredown number four overall in this match. He gets a headscissors but Panther just pushes him down for a pin attempt, holding the arms. Virus bridges up with his HEAD (I'll never understand how to do that) but then gets stuck in another pinning combo. Panther seems to be going for a lifting submission but Virus floats over, leading to both trying to get a pin but never even reaching a 1-count. Staredown number five as we enter the final minute! Panther gets out of a wristlock and tries a crucifix pin for one. Both men try to go for locks as the seconds count down... and it's over! The hold-heavy technical match given only a 10-minute time limit predictably ends in a draw.

That was nice. It's definitely in the same "watch if you've got a bit of free time" category as a few of the matches, like the Fu-Ten one. This is just two veterans doing what they know best.

 

[Jay-Ashley]

Both men are good examples of Llaveo Lucha Libre

 

[Sky]

Match #39
Terry Funk vs. Eddie Guerrero
NWA World Championship Wrestling - May 20, 1989​

My third WCW jobber match on the wheel. And this is a strange historical curiosity, as it's not well known that Eddie worked a WCW match this early. This must have been while he was still with CMLL working as Mascara Magica. This is one of those episodes of World Championship Wrestling/Saturday Night that they actually bothered putting on the Network. Let's see how this goes!

Weird crowd reaction during the introductions, as Eddie's booed presumably for being billed from Mexico, and Funk's aslo booed for being a heel, bullying the announcer into waiting until he's taken his chaps off. That's some classic old school heel work. Fans are chanting for Ric Flair for some reason. Funk wins the lockup, but Eddie dodges the following chops and rolls out. Then he does the foot-catch enzuigiri spot! Okay, maybe this isn't just another jobber match. JR's on commentary talking about an upcoming Road Warriors/Freebirds match on this show. I'm sticking that on the wheel myself because I like the sound of that. Funk delivers some straight down elbows to the head - when I learned those were banned in MMA I gained a lot of appreciation for them in pro wrestling. They just look NASTY to me now.

Funk catches Eddie into a giant swing but Eddie tries to keep himself as upright and heavy as possible so it doesn't feel effective. Nethertheless, the heat begins, as Funk wrecks Eddie's chest with a fist drop and some slaps. He then goes for a body guillotine, but Eddie gets out and leaves Funk tangled on the ropes! Nice spot, and the crowd popped for it. Eddie gets a brief comeback until he misses a dropkick. Then Funk grabs him and tosses him right over the top rope to the floor. JR isn't sure why that's not a DQ. Eddie gets his chest lit up with chops on the outside until he dodges and makes Funk lariat the ring post. Eddie hits a big crossbody to the outside! He then goes for a slingshot plancha but misses! Funk is able to get back in the ring, and hits a running low dropkick that sends Eddie flying over the barricade on to concrete! Ouch. Funk brings him back in, hits a piledriver on the outside, then gets him in the ring for the three. He then immediately leaves the ring to threaten some fans

Nice little match there, I was surprised how much Eddie got in this match. I guess it's the respect between two long-time wrestling families.

 

[Sky]

Match #40
Rey Misterio/La Parka/Halloween vs. Damian 666/Vampiro Canadiense/Rey Misterio Jr.
2/3 Falls Match
Lucha Libre in Tijuana - October 26, 2001​

This is such an interesting matchup for a lot of reasons. First, it's got Damian/Halloween and Rey Sr./Rey Jr. on opposite teams (is there some sort of connection between La Parka and Vampiro that would complete this?). Second, all of these men except Rey Sr. spent a bit of time in WCW. And third, it's 2001, so you've got L.A. ParK still calling himself La Parka and unmasked baggy pants Rey Jr. It's also filmed with handcam, so might be hard to follow at times. Let's dive in!

La Parka is the only one whose entrance is in the video, and he taunts the crowd and tears something up in the ring. Probably something referencing AAA's other La Parka. There's a valet involved, whose name is apparently Lady Victoria. Seems there's been some sort of acrimonious situation between Halloween and Damian, the way they're staring each other down. Rey Sr. comes into Rey Jr.'s corner to smack some sense into his nephew before Vampiro and Damian chase him off. Big chants of something I'm pretty sure is a slur against Parka. In response he threatens to walk out. Multiple times. Pretty sure they're now calling him "La Polla". Which is funny. The match finally starts with Halloween and Vampiro being the ones in the ring... or not, because Halloween tags in Parka, who tags in Damian, who scares Parka off.

Okay, now we have a match. Vampiro is mega over, especially for not being a great wrestler. Halloween disagrees with how an official is doing things, so he argues with... a completely different official? This lets Vampiro get a roll-up for 1. Vampiro grabs the leg, leading to the slowest grab-the-leg-enzuigiri spot I've ever seen. Like, seriously, Vampiro's frozen to the spot for like 20 seconds solid before Halloween delivers the kick, why didn't he do anything? Vampiro spin kicks Halloween out, and his sell is genuinely the first bit of good athleticism we've seen so far.

After another pair of Damian-scaring-off-La-Parka spots, we've now got Rey Sr. against Rey Jr. This is much better already, quick exchanges of holds, neither really letting the other establish control. Jr. makes the mistake of trying to crossbody his taller and much bulkier uncle and gets slammed, but still manages to avoid the senton that would come afterward. Now it's Rey Jr. trying to goad La Parka into finally coming in. He's about to, but then, you guessed it, Damian tags in again! Parka stalls for time until Halloween comes back in. He and Damian remember that they were tag partners, once, and decide to handshake, hug and kiss(??) it out. Then Halloween DECKS Damian! Parka trips Damian from the outside, and NOW he's willing to come in and engage him. This eventually leads to a trio of singles brawls going on, with Halloween/Rey Jr. and Rey Sr./Vampiro.

On the outside, Rey Sr. absolutely clatters Vampiro into the barricade. Meanwhile Parka's taken Damian into the crowd and is smashing and throwing shit all over him, including yes, multiple steel chairs. Back in the ring, Sr. and Halloween are dealing with Jr., and tosses him against the ring ropes so hard he actually rolls to the other side of the ring. Rudos in full control. Rey Sr. sends Vampiro to the barricade but he doesn't sell it this time. Then Rey Jr. gets atomic dropped on the barricade! Ouch. Pretty sure Damian's bleeding already as Parka kicks him over the barricade. Parka takes a bit of wood board and does a pseudo-table break spot with it. Both his partners are spinebuster-ing the tecnicos, which Rey Jr. takes FAR better than Vampiro does. Sr. takes the first fall against Jr., but that doesn't stop Parka propping up the rest of the wood in the ring and powerbombing Damian through it. Then hits a slingshot senton over the broken plywood. Way to rub it in.

The tecnicos tend to a pretty broken-looking Damian before the second fall. It looks like it's about to be Rey Jr./Halloween, but Parka comes from behind and sets up a double team! Which turns into a triple team! One of the officials is preoccupied with keeping Vampiro in the corner, so this feels like it should be a referee distraction, but the other ref seems to be fine with what's going on. Rey Jr. beats a slow count of two, then Rey Sr. drags his own nephew by the belt buckle and puts him in the camel clutch... That feels very slightly sexual assault-y. Halloween introduces another wood board then brings Damian back into this match. Parka's about to toss Damian into the wood, but Damian turns it around and gets Parka instead! Shame Rey Sr. and Vampiro were in the way of that spot, it must have been awesome to see.

Back to chaos as Damian takes Parka to the outside - and it seems like even the referees are fighting! Chairshots in that same area of ringside, while Rey Sr. is treated to some barricade action like Vampiro. This is basically the reverse of the first fall (it's like poetry, it rhymes). Crowd is HOT. Back in the ring, Parka pleads for mercy but doesn't get any. Parka takes a couple of headscissors and rolls to the outside to send Halloween in. Now it's Halloween/Rey Jr., but Jr. gets double teamed by Sr. and Halloween again. He fights out the corner and Vampiro gets a splash! Vampiro's going for a crossface, but Rey Jr. in the meantime is stacking up Halloween to take the second fall!

After a bit of audience interaction with Parka again, fall 3 starts with Rey Jr. vs. Parka. Rey uses his pace and skill to make Parka look like an idiot, including a nice spot where he makes Parka think he's tossed him over the top to the floor and jumps on him while he's doing a taunt. Rey Jr. again makes the mistake of trying to crossbody a larger man, and Parka does the strut while carrying Rey! Then he pinches Rey's lil' cheek like the baby he is! CLASSIC stuff from Parka. He gets headscissored out though, and we're back to Halloween/Vampiro. Vampiro nails Halloween with a superkick, and he does what you do in the third fall of a lucha match and slaps on a random chinlock. Victoria is the one to break it up. Vamp's about to toss Victoria to the absolute JOY of the crowd before Halloween and Parka give him the business.

Now it's Damian back in. Parka loudly counts five chops he can give to Damian in the corner, until Damian turns it around and counts, with the crowd, SIX chops! This is the joy of having a hot crowd. Parka goes for a dropkick, absolutely clatters himself on the ring post, and falls back to the mat with a pretty nasty thud. Parka drops Damian out with a dropkick and hits a Tope Suicida, then Reys Sr. and Jr. go at it, then Halloween and Vampiro go at it! Halloween has Rey Jr. hung in the corner, but Rey pulls himself up and gives Halloween a shoulderful of ring post! Vampiro slingshots to the outside! Rey Jr. gives a sliding kick right to his uncle's balls! Then he does a SLIDING HEADSCISSORS to the outside! Shame the camera missed that, right? It's Damian/Parka again, and Parka starts killing Damian but keeps lifting him up on pins because he wants to punish him more. He drapes a bunch of merch over Damian's prone body... until Damian gets a small package for the win!!

That was GREAT. Never that technically amazing, but chaos in a fun way with a hot crowd behind it, and a consistent story paid off superbly. I was not expecting to have this much fun when we started with Vampiro/Halloween.

 

[Sky]

Couple of side notes -
We've got 2 more returning wrestlers, as Halloween and Damian were both in their WCW masks in a previous appearance
After match 45, I'll reveal a special plan I have for match 50

 

[Sky]

Match #41
GENTARO (c) vs. Takaku Fuke
2/3 Falls Match for the VKF King of Wrestle Naniwa Championship
VKF Wrestle Naniwa Vol. 13 - March 12, 2009​

I legitimately have no idea what to expect here. Like, less than zero. "VKF" is not a promotion I've heard of before, and it describes itself as "Battle Entertainment" but the setup looks quite serious. Zero expectations either way, so let's see how this goes!

The issue of "only one guy gets streamers" rears its head again, as challenger Fuke gets his but champion GENTARO doesn't. Is it just me, or does the latter have quite an underbite? The match opens with Fuke in full fighting stance, like he's doing MMA again or something, and GENTARO basically just daring him to approach. Very little contact in the opening minute, except for a low kick and a forearm shot both by Fuke. GENTARO tries an armdrag, but Fuke does the sensible thing and stays on his feet. The champion establishes control but with little apparent effect, but Fuke hooks a leg. After a brief sequence where both men are trying to lock each other's legs, Fuke completes a kneebar and GENTARO taps in short order. That was a quick first fall...

The second fall soon begins and even when he's back to his feet, GENTARO's selling that leg hard and needs to take some extra recovery time against the ropes. Maybe he wasn't just trying to preserve his strength to go the full 3 falls, maybe it really did hurt that much. He's not even wrestled for a minute total and already he's stumbling. Champ looking vulnerable. Predictably, it's all Fuke afterward, with repeated rope breaks and even a bit of out-of-the-ring rest required for the champ. So GENTARO decides to copy his challenger's tactics and attack the knees too. Fuke even looks betrayed too. "How dare you do the same thing I just did?" A ring post Figure Four is followed by a particularly poorly-planned lock which allows Fuke to wrap his arm for a choke that disables GENTARO for long enough for him to fight out of it.

GENTARO does a strange move where he hangs Fuke's leg on the ring rope and then butt-drops his knee(???). It doesn't even look effective. There is, however, a very unique submission from GENTARO which is basically a backbreaker rack performed with the knees. It's hard to explain. Then a half crab which leaves Fuke struggling to the ropes and outside. How the turn tables. GENTARO follows him outside and lifts him up to smash that poor knee against the ring post. When Fuke makes it back he receives a dragonscrew leg whip, which is just what you need when your leg has been wrecked. GENTARO goes for a corkscrew senton but misses after Fuke rolls out of the way. A brief control period for Fuke ends when GENTARO starts sweeping and kicking the knee repeatedly.

A lengthy kneebar somehow doesn't cause Fuke to tap (guess he's not confident he could win the third fall). Another dragonscrew, and GENTARO goes for a diving splash, but Fuke gets his knees up (which surely should be worse for the knees, given the punishment they've taken). Fuke kicks the champ while he's down, but tweaks his knee. A Figure Four by GENTARO takes the second fall, and now it's down to the wire (given that neither of these men has a single stable leg remaining). GENTARO doesn't break the hold for a LONG time.

GENTARO starts the third fall by downing Fuke and going for ground-and-pound. He then goes for a choke with his legs, and wrenches Fuke's badly damaged left leg while he's at it. This gets a rope break. Another dragonscrew off the top rope(!), and then another Figure Four! But now Fuke manages to wrench one of GENTARO's legs while he's in the hold! Even after the rope break, Fuke keeps hold of the leg, until GENTARO is able to push him off with a kick. Fuke then applies a kneebar while GENTARO is against the ropes! GENTARO manages to roll Fuke to the outside, but instead of taking the third fall by count-out, joins him. They do a bit of brawling on the outside, where one fan seems very willinng to get close to the action... so Fuke THROWS HIM INTO GENTARO!! AMAZING spot. Both men fail to beat the 20-count, though... Double count-out! No one seems sure where to go from here until Fuke grabs a mic and (I'm guessing) appeals for a proper final fall. Good stuff. There must be a winner now!

Sudden death time, and both men are throwing the kitchen sink at each other. Leg locks, arms, chokes, ground game, it's all counters here. GENTARO manages to get an STF, and then another half crab, but Fuke gets to the ropes. GENTARO hits a couple of back suplexes for a two-count. A superkick also fails to get the pinfall. GENTARO goes for a Shooting Star Press... but misses! Of course he does, his knees are dust at the moment. Fuke hits a knee to the back of the head and some really stiff-looking kicks. He has to crawl for the pin attempt, though, and it's a 2.5 count. GENTARO looks downed, and he's only able to grab Fuke's arms... but turns him over into a sunset flip-like pin for the three and the win!

Bit of a weird one. Quite good for most of it, a sort of instructional video on how to work the leg, but I feel it could have been trimmed a little. I like the double count-out / sudden death structure, but that would require the sudden death fall to be more exciting to be worth the downtime, which it... wasn't? Ref should have just let them fight on the outside really.

 

[Sky]

Match #42
Dick Murdoch vs. Killer Karl Kox
AJPW Super Power Series - December 9, 1976​

This one is a duplicate on the wheel, though I get the feeling that it's not two people posting it and more the same person forgetting they've posted it. Still, time to enjoy these guys working in Japan! I was going to comment on Killer Karl Kox's initials not being acceptable in this day and age, but they were deliberate apparently, adopted so he could be an insta-heel. And of course, there's a connection between "KKK" and Dick Murdoch. Let's get into it.

Murdoch looks like shit, and older than Kox somehow (who, I just checked, is 45 in this match). Initial lockup goes into the corner, and the referee is struggling and scrambling to pry it apart. Murdoch's headlock looks like it's threatening to turn Kox's head into a big purple grape. Eventually Kox can recover and hit a cornered Murdoch with a forearm and OOH fuck, that's stiff. He puts the boots (and fists, and elbows) in until Murdoch can recover and wind up for a shot that pops the crowd before it hits. 1976 was a different time, Kox is reacting like he's some dude in a bar who got decked as the accidental result of an unrelated bar fight.

Another lockup (with added facial clawing by Murdoch) that the ref can't break up no matter how much he wriggles into it. So Kox just shoves the ref aside! And tries to nudge his prone body away with his foot like "nah, fuck off, get out of here". The ref... calls for the bell? So is the match over? Doesn't matter, these two are just going to keep punching each other nonetheless. Ref still counts pins. Was the part of the match before just a prelude? Can't be, because he counted a pin there. We're already at the stage we need rope breaks for pinfalls. Kox and Murdoch start to choke each other, and I'm starting to feel that the rules are more of a suggestion at this point. The ref already feels superfluous. Several Murdoch punches and a dropkick, and Kox's new plan is to just GTFO. He's acting like he's lost some teeth.

Murdoch returns to squeezing Kox's grape head. Kox rolls it into a crucifix-like pin, but for some reason the ref rolls it back. I will never understand this referee. Kox manages to fish brass knucks out of his tights and give Murdoch a shot right to the gut. Then smashes him in the face again and again. Kox goes for the brainbuster but Murdoch pushes him to the ropes, at which point they both fall awkwardly. They clatter into each other and Murdoch's knocked out of the ring once again. Kox controls with elbows until Murdoch tries a forearm shot at the same time. Murdoch breaks a Kox control segment once again and now does a legit-looking knee drop. Kox cannot stay on his feet, probably because he's suffered legit brain damage at this point.

Kox does an eye rake to get an edge back. He goes to the outside and starts abusing Murdoch's head, against the announce table and the ring post, and adds some elbows for good measure. Murdoch is now bleeding. Surprised it took this long. Kox is in control, and wow, that's actually quite a significant amount of blood already. Brainbuster attempt just turns into a vertical suplex. He goes for a pin attempt eventually... and Murdoch kicks out with enough force to send Kox flying! He only gets one punch in, though, before he falls flat on his arse. Eventually he delivers an eye rake of his own! And then... bites Kox on the face?? And now Kox is bleeding. Murdoch just keeps punching, and punching, until he decides to actually do a wrestling move and delivers the Calf Branding (which is a really cool move and I'm sad no one really does it).

Kox is absolutely convulsing, taking a beating off Murdoch, and even remembering to oversell some of those shots (though not that knee drop, he sells it just the right amount for his skull being caved in). Second brainbuster attempt fails, this time by Murdoch. Murdoch misses a jumping elbow drop, so Kox tries a pin (gets 1) then goes for a jumping elbow drop of his own. Which he misses. These guys are covered in each other's blood as they exchange punches again.

Suddenly a pair of guys in AJPW jackets rush the ring, try to tackle the two, and get brainbustered for their trouble. Then more guys swarm the ring, trying to stop these two from fighting each other for some reason. And then all of a sudden, it's a no contest. That's confusing and a half. It is nice, though, that they occasionally break off from the crowd of red jackets to fuck each other up some more.

This match was pretty... okay. Apparently a bunch of people love the shit out of this, and I see why, because there's a lot of stiff brawling, but that's about it. Not too much variety, and with a flat ending. Sorry.

 

[Alexa]

Wanna know something that only I know and I am sure no would be surprised by it? The AJPW young boy who got brainbusted on the left was no other than Atsushi Onita

 

[Sky]

Match #43
Andre the Giant/Jim Duggan vs. Kamala/The Missing Link
Houston Wrestling/Mid-South Wrestling - September 9, 1983​

That was my instant thought when seeing this matchup. It's one of the most recent matchups on the wheel... and of course it comes up immediately. I'm not a fan of Kamala as a wrestler, Missing Link isn't far behind him, Duggan is Duggan, and I'm pretty sure this was already the late period of Andre where he could barely move. How's that going to make for a good match? It's probably not! Let's go.

Straight into bumblefuck brawl as Andre and Duggan enter the ring, and in the chaos they pretty much instantly clear the heels out. They then just stand awkwardly in the ring because the match has started, the ref isn't doing shit about counting anyone out because Andre hasn't gone to his corner. Eventually they do come back, and wow, that is not the shape of a human body on Mr. Link there. He's a steroid monster that outright admitted to being a steroid monster so it's unsurprising. The match threatens to start properly until both Kamala and Link duck out at the threat of having to face Andre.

Finally we get going with Duggan and Missing Link. Link does his stomps, so Duggan does a few stomps too, then kicks his ass all the way... out of the ring. We've had 20 seconds of in-ring in these 3 minutes, and yet the crowd is hot. This should be a masterclass in protecting limited workers. Pretty sure Duggan mocks Link's baldness, but the camera misses it. We get a spot where Kamala's holding Duggan back, Link charges in, but Duggan dodges out and the two heels clash... out of the ring again. Duggan dodges a corner elbow from Link, who elbows the turnbuckle pad anyway. I have to admit, that's pretty good. Then Duggan drives his head into the corner and he does pretty much a backflip sell.

Kamala's in now, and Kim Chee (who was playing Kim Chee around this time?) distracts Duggan so Kamala can get a few shots in. Then Duggan tags in Andre and immediately Kamala has changed his mind about the whole "engaging the opponent" thing. To be fair, Kamala does get a fair few chops to the head in before Andre can turn it around (which he does, easily). After a bit more heels-being-afraid, Kamala tries choking Andre... and Andre chokes Kamala back. Fuck, imagine that size of hand around your neck. While Andre's chopping Kamala against the ropes, Link tries to come around to break it up, Andre looks back and him, and Link just... changes his mind! He goes back to the outside sheepishly, and soon Kamala joins him.

Link's back in, and Andre just chops him all over, and also backsplashes him in the corner. Andre eventually makes the rookie mistake of whipping your opponent into the ropes and then going for a back body drop, which just gets him kicked. That and a spirited effort from Kamala eventually gets Andre down to the mat. The next couple of minutes is just a heat segment of Kamala (and eventually Link too) hitting Andre as he slowly gets up and doesn't sell most of it. Andre manages to bearhug Kamala as he gets up, which looks more like an amorous embrace for most of it, not helped by the way Kamala seems to caress Andre's back and hair. Duggan stops Link from separating this act of true love.

Kamala's back to chopping Andre, but then they do the hold-the-wrestler-for-your-partner, oops-he-dodged-and-now-your-partner-hits-you spot again. The crowd goes BALLISTIC for this. 1983 was a different time. Andre wrecks Link so hard he falls out of the ring, then goes to stomp on a downed Kamala. Link comes back off the top rope, delivers a very soft chair shot, and that's it, the faces win by DQ. Andre immediately gets the chair to wreck both heels with.

And that's your lot. There were a few fun moments, but a lot of it (especially in the second half) had very little happening. Most of that's on the bizarre decision to have Andre as face-in-peril. When my complaint with a match is not enough Jim Duggan, it's a weird time.

 

[Sky]

Match #44
Titan (c) vs. Virus
2/3 Falls Match for the Mexican National Welterweight Championship
CMLL Martes Arena Mexico - January 28, 2014​

Back to CMLL! Titan's a name I recognise from having been in the most recent BOSJ (though I haven't seen any of his matches yet). Virus, I learned from the Blue Panther match, is really quite good. Let's go!

Virus is wrestling in a shirt, and it's instantly obvious why. The first cool hold exchange where Titan rolls Virus' headlock into a crossface... is completely missed because it's covered by the match graphic. Titan keeps going for a camel clutch, but Virus keeps getting his elbows down. He gets a double chickenwing, turns it around and bridges for a pin like he's just hit a Tiger Suplex. That's actually AWESOME. I'm sad it only gets a 1-count. Titan tries to lock Virus' leg, but Virus gets a headscissors on him and rolls him through for another pin attempt! I'm pretty sure I hear commentary call Virus a master of holds and counterholds, just as he's countering a hammerlock attempt into a crucifix pin. Nice coincidental proving the booth right. He's even good at stopping Titan from countering, responding to an attempted headscissors out of an armbar by just shoving him off.

Titan keeps doing rolls out of holds whenever he can and it's a little weird. He then Matrix dodges a clothesline... I get the feeling he's just a showoff. He's good at selling being snapped into a powerslam, certainly. Virus hits a spinebuster to Titan, and then transitions it into a rocking horse! That's a very cool, very lucha hold. Titan submits, and that's the first fall.

Both of these guys seem to have other luchadors as their seconds. It's always funny to have masked guys in "official" roles. It's a good contrast to the gratuitous half-naked women holding up the round cards and title belt. Again, the graphic covers up a nice part of matwork, this time Virus' Figure Four. Meanwhile, a fisherman suplex is obscured by the fact that coming up is a broadcast of the movie Pay It Forward. Titan's left leg is being thoroughly worked. He manages to get to the ropes, but Virus cranks his neck against the middle rope... This is not a good day to be Titan. Blockbuster suplex, and the ref gives a very slow 2-count.

Titan finally turns it around with a cornered kick, but Virus quickly sweeps the bad leg and gets another pin attempt. At last Titan is able to get advantage when whipped into the ropes, and he downs Virus with a kick. Virus looks like he's trying to pop Titan up, but Titan turns it into a dragonscrew leg whip! He then cartwheel backflips into a headscissors and rolls through for a pin and the second fall!

Third fall and it's all Titan, with an abdominal stretch complimented by clubbing elbows to the chest. Even when Virus gets shots in, they don't get sold as much as Titan's. The fight goes to the apron, where Titan gets knocked on his back, but he manages to monkey flip Virus over the ring post!! Virus fell RIGHT on the floor there. Then Titan moonsaults Virus off the corner!! Crowd is right behind Titan. Springboard dropkick gets another slow 2. The next hold Titan does looks like a figure four, but it's just a... legscissors? He doesn't wrap his own leg around, he just traps Virus' legs. Still apparently effective, though.

Virus is able to get to his feet and charges the corner, but Titan avoids it. Virus climbs to the middle rope, but that doesn't stop him getting tossed half the ring diameter. If anything, it enables the spot. Titan does his headscissors roll pin again, and again the referee counts very slow. Tope con Hilo by Titan! Awesome! The replay shows that he landed mostly on Virus' face. But then Virus pulls Titan back by the seat of his tights and gets back into the ring first. That's one way to stop him trying to repeat the feat. Titan does manage to hit a springboard roll for yet another slow two. Totally out of nowhere, Virus with a unique hold! It looks like a Sharpshooter, but instead of wrapped around his leg, Titan is wrapped around Virus' torso. He then stacks Titan up with a different hold seeming to be a pin attempt. Titan keeps pushing up, so Virus bridges and rolls over him! Holy FUCK that's such a cool transition. Still only gets two.

Titan gets a powerbomb. He's a triple threat - he can bring the technique, the flight, and the power. Another really slow two. Maybe this ref is too old to keep time anymore. Springboard frog splash from Titan gets only two again, and Virus counters right into an armbar! He's unable to keep the hold on, but for the moment he's back in control again. Titan flips over a ring corner, dodges Virus' big boot so he's caught in the rope, then hits a high kick to the chest! But then Virus cuts off a flight attempt by dropkicking his legs, and Titan eats shit on the outside. Virus gets a slingshot senton (though, not all of it).

Back in the ring, it's all Virus, and a clothesline gets two (though by American count that two is probably a four). Virus whips Titan, but he turns it into a SATELLITE ARMBAR! Now Virus with a Stretch Muffler... now Titan with a small package for two! Virus folds Titan up for a powerbomb and another 2-count. While he's arguing with the referee about whether that should have been 3 (it should have, and honestly, you should have won that match in fall 2) Titan schoolboys him for 2! Virus gets an arm trap pin which doesn't get the win either, so he does the back-to-back setup that looks like he's going for a Vertebreaker... Titan counters it, into what looks like a Reinera! And Virus submits!

Great match. Really end-to-end. Titan and Virus both impressed me, I really need to see more of their stuff. Also I definitely didn't spend most of this match thinking how "Titan" and "Virus" together make "Tyrus", and that's something no one wants to see.

 

[Sky]

Match #45
The Rock vs. Erick Rowan
WWE WrestleMania 32 - April 3, 2016​

This is what I get for doing a match 3 tonight, huh? Guess, since it's short, I'm reviewing the entire buildup.

And that buildup starts as most of WrestleMania 32 was - with a spectacular bit of time-wasting. That show was SEVEN HOURS including the pre-show. So, instead of realising they have to cut some of the fat (most of Taker/Shane, most of HHH/Roman, all of New Day/League of Nations...) they decide to add more by throwing in the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. You know Rebel from Impact/AEW? She's a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. That's the only wrestling thing I can think of that's related to this group of women dancing to something that samples Thunderstruck by AC/DC but isn't Thunderstruck by AC/DC.

And then the Rock comes out, remembers he's forgotten something, and goes back to the back to fetch a flamethrower. Which he shows off to the crowd for entirely too long and then sets alight the giant letters of his own name. The commentators are almost entirely silent for this, as if they're meant to let us soak in the moment. That is, the moment of nothing related to a wrestling storyline happening.

Rock then wastes EVEN MORE time not even starting his promo. He says a catchphrase, puts over the fire, the cheerleaders, and an exhausted crowd who I'm shocked aren't already beating the traffic knowing HHH/Roman is next. He then implies WWE fans are going to go home and have sex after this, which is very generous. One line from Rock strikes me as foreshadowing: "Records are made to be broken". That comes as he announces the very overinflated and even papered attendance for WM32. He celebrates with pyro and his entrance music.

His promo is interrupted by the Wyatt Family, who get the crowd to make more noise than the Rock has in this entire segment. Rock's really selling the atmosphere of the fireflies. Bray grabs a mic, and holy SHIT, old, non-spooky nonsense Bray was GREAT, and he controls that promo. Bray chose Rock... because he represents success, and greatness, and it's Bray's moment now. He challenges Rock, and then Rock immediately starts mocking and shitting on him. He mentions Cracker Barrel. Like, this is Billy Gunn in 1999-tier career ending. He does get Braun pretty good though, saying he looks like he's still breastfed. Rock then pretends to put Bray over as if he hasn't just turned him into a joke. When Bray retakes the mic, his heat's very much gone. Rock takes his shirt off and accepts the challenge, to which Bray just lets Erick Rowan do the match for him.

You know how it goes from here. Bell, Rock Bottom, 3-count, six seconds, Kane/Chavo (or Bundy/SD Jones if you believe a certain amount of kayfabe) have their blushes spared. The rest of the Family threaten to triple team Rock until Cena comes out and joins him to beat them all up.

Remember when I said the match was six seconds? That's six seconds out of the entire segment which went TWENTY EIGHT MINUTES. That's 28 minutes I'll never get back. Dumb from concept to execution, buried promising talent in favour of already established guys, and just felt like a complete waste. No redeeming value.