RAW - 31/3/'08
Hartford Civic Center
Hartford
Connecticut
The RAW scene kicks off without his usual theatrics. Instead we get a view from ringside, where all current WWE stars are gathered. Vincent Kennedy McMahon, Linda McMahon, Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring. Mr. McMahon is sporting a mic.
Vinnie: Cut the music.
Everything goes silent, except the fans, who are beginning to boo.
Vinnie: Shut up, I haven't got time for this.
The crowd boos some more.
Vinnie: Damnit, I said, shut up!
Finally the crowd quiets down.
Vinnie: Thank you. Now, tonight I am here to address Vickie Guerrero, Armando Estrada and William Regal. I am disappointed at your work ethics and am not going to beat around the bush here, because, Vickie, Armando, William, YOU'RE FIRED!
The three former General Managers look at one another in amazement, while security comes out to escort them out of the arena.
Vinnie: Now that they are out, we can continue with what matters. And that will be...
The END of the BRAND SPLIT!
Both wrestler and fan alike look in amazement at the Chairman of WWE. Mr. McMahon is enjoying that moment of silence, before ending his speech.
Vinnie: And that means that I'll be firing people, merging titles and ending dreams tonight. And as my first act as reformer, I am stripping every champion of his or her Championship title. If you would please hand them over.
The Champions of the business give their championship belts to the ringside officials, who get them to the back.
Vinnie: Later tonight, I will be making announcements about the future of our championships, but first, I would like to introduce to you, the NEW General Manager of Monday Night RAW, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair!
"Wooooooooo"
The Nature Boy appears on the ramp and does his signature dance, before raising his mic.
Flair: Wooooo!
The crowd reacts with a "Wooo" of his own.
Flair: The Nature Boy is boss again, baby!
The crowd again lets out a "Wooo".
Flair: And it is...
But Mr. McMahon interrupts.
Vinnie: That's nice, Ric, but please, the show must go on. Clear the arena!
All Superstars are on their way to the back, but Mr. McMahon isn't quite finished.
Vinnie: Wait, Funaki and Venis, YOU'RE FIRED!
And so the opener of the night ends. We cut to the back, where Triple H is walking. He clearly just arrived and is unaware of the happenings. He walks past The Undertaker, CM Punk, Chavo Guerrero and Deuce, before bumping into Shawn Michaels. This causes a huge pop from the crowd.
HHH: Yo, Shawn, what's the deal with all those B-show superstars?
Shawn: You got to be kidding me! You don't know?
HHH: What should I know? The only thing I see, is losers.
Shawn: You'll be working with those "losers" sooner, rather then later.
HHH: What?
Shawn: Vince just ended the three brands, it is going to be all about RAW again.
HHH: But...
Triple H gets interrupted by a well know voice.
Flair: Wooooo!
HHH: Ric, what's the deal with the suit?
Flair turns to Shawn Michaels.
Flair: He doesn't know?
Shawn: He just arrived. I was only able to tell him about the brand merging.
HHH: Com'on, what the hell did I miss?
Flair: Not much...
Shawn: They made Ric GM.
Flair: And you couldn't say that with a little more drama? Ow, and Shawn, what are you doing here, you've got a match next.
Shawn: Ow, darnit, forgot. See you guys later.
Michaels runs away, while Flair and Triple H laugh.
--- Commercial Break ---
JR: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to what turns out to be one unpredictable night.
King: You're right, JR. I'm all excited.
JR: I knew you'd like this.
King: I just love surprises.
JR: Don't worry then, cause...
"Sexy Boy" takes over the arena. Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring, to a huge ovation.
Lillian: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!
Then it is "Turn up the trouble" which raises a mixed reaction from the crowd. Mr. Kennedy comes out.
Lillian: And his opponent...
Mr. Kennedy: Shut up, please.
Lillian exits the ring, with Kennedy and the mic taking her place.
Kennedy: He is a future Hall of Famer, He weighs in at an astonishing 246 pounds. I hail from Greenbay, Wisconsin, Mrrrrrrrrrrrr. Kennedyyyyyyyyyyyy....
------------------------------
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy
-------------------------------
But before Mr. Kennedy can finish, he gets taken down with a bulldog by Michaels. Kennedy looks shocked for a moment, but that quickly turns into anger. He gets up again and both men start trading rights in the middle of the ring. Michaels ducks one from Kennedy and takes him down with an arm drag, which he uses to lock in a triangle choke. Kennedy desperately tries to free himself, but seems unable to. Until he reaches over and flips himself and Michaels in a way so Michaels has no other option but to release. Both men get up and begin landing punches again. Kennedy uses a slight hesitation from Michaels to whip him into the turnbuckle. Kennedy runs at him and hits a corner clothesline. Michaels stumbles out of the corner and Kennedy hits a bulldog. He covers.
1...2...
Kick out. Kennedy gets up, while Michaels jumps to his feet. Michaels hits a Swinging Neckbreaker, before pulling Kennedy up and hitting a Scoop Slam. Michaels goes for the cover, but Kennedy rolls him up.
1...2...
Michaels kicks out again. Kennedy gets up quickly but is too late. Michaels hits the Sweet Chin Music and goes for the cover.
1...2...3!
Lillian: Here is your winner. The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels.
Michaels celebrates with the crowd.
King: Mister Kennedy looked good as ever, but in the end, he couldn't stop Sweet Chin Music.
JR: That comes to no surprise, Michaels' Superkick is one of the most dangerous finishers in the business.
King: Talking about dangerous, next is a Tag Team bout between London and Kendrick and Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes.
JR: Both teams are former champions, this could be interesting.
But first we go backstage to Vince McMahon's office.
Vinnie: As you might have noticed, I have 6 singles titles, 2 tag team titles and a Women's title for only one card at the moment. We all know that is far too much. So, I decided to keep...
The WWE Championship...
The Intercontinental Championship...
The WWE Tag Team Championships...
And the Women's Championship.
To that list I wish to add a championship that wasn't on my original list. See, I didn't want to have the same old same old Cruiserweight Championship, I didn't want to see two equal championships neither. So, I decided to make my final championship the...
Lightweight Championship!
This championship will have restrictions to the point that anyone who isn't in the Lightweight Division cannot contest it. On the other hand, wrestlers in the Lightweight Division will not be confined to that Division. The WWE Championship is hereby stripped of any weight restriction.
We go back to the ringside area, where London & Kendrick's theme hit, but they don't come out. The crowd looks puzzled. Then, Deuce and Domino come out, with Cherry, to a deafening chorus of boo's. Deuce and Domino enter the ring and go for a mic.
Deuce: You wanted London and Kendrick? Well, we didn't like that. Those dwarfs don't deserve to be in the ring, competing for a championship that is ours by right. They were taking airtime off real teams, like me and Domino. So, we laid them out backstage.
But then London and Kendrick's theme hits again, and out come the high flyers. Kendrick is holding a mic.
Kendrick: Wrong move, Greaseheads. Next time, hit harder if you want to take someone like Paul or me out of the picture. You...
Kendrick gets interrupted by Hardcore Holly's theme and the other men scheduled to compete come out.
Holly: Alright, this joke has gone on long enough. Listen, Danny and Sonny there in the ring, what the hell are you doing there? You should be backstage, watching true professionals at work. And Speedy Gonzalez and Road Runner, you should be waiting in that ring for an asskicking. Now, if everyone goes to where he is supposed to be, I can do my job. If not, I'll just have to kick you all.
"WOOOOO"
Ric Flair comes out with another mic.
Flair: Deuce, Domino, you wanted a match? You got it, next up, it will be the team of Deuce and Domino against Paul London and Brian Kendrick....
Deuce and Domino look at each other with a grin.
and Hardcore Holly!
King: What? A three-on-two Tag match!?
JR: And it is next.
--- Commercial Break ---
------------------------------------
Deuce and Domino vs. London, Kendrick and Holly
------------------------------------
Deuce and London start out. Deuce easily overpowers his opponent and Scoop Slams him to the mat. Deuce laughs for a second, but that won't last long. London uses his athletic ability to lift himself into a position where he can bulldog Deuce straight to the mat. London covers.
1...
Deuce kicks out. He quickly makes it to his feet and hits a devastating clothesline, that sends London over the top rope. Deuce closes in on the ropes, but gets taken by surprise by Kendrick, who nails Deuce's head against the ropes hard. Deuce bounces back and drops to the mat. Domino rushes to the ropes and spears Kendrick through the second rope. In the ring, Hardcore Holly hits an Alabama slam on Deuce, after which London, who has gotten back in the ring, covers.
1...2...3!
Lillian: You're winners, the team of Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Hardcore Holly!
But none is celebrating. It has become a Three team brawl between them. Suddenly The Worlds Greatest Tag Team appears from the crowd and joins the brawl. Cade and Murdoch come out too and immediately get into a fight with Jesse and Festus, who has followed them out. None of the officials seem to be able to do anything, as there are far too many superstars involved, but then...
"WOOOO"
Ric Flair comes out once again.
Flair: Hold it! You all want to be the next WWE Tag Team Champions, so, I decided it is time to announce our contenders. And it will be...Wait, I got an even better idea.
Deuce and Domino, you take on Festus and Jesse next week, here on RAW.
Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly will take on Cade and Murdoch in two weeks.
And London & Kendrick will take on The World Greatest Tag Team the week after that.
And the winners of those matches will be in action at Backlash in a Triple Threat Hardcore Tag Team Match for the WWE Tag Team Titles!
Wooooo
King: This is awesome, JR, a triple threat match at Backlash.
JR: And 3 weeks of tag team action in the process.
And we cut to the back with Maria standing next to the Chairman.
Maria: Mister McMahon, you have fired 5 employees already, but many fear for their jobs. What will be your next move?
Vinnie: Well, it is simple, YOU'RE...
Maria looks shocked.
Vinnie: SAFE! I can't afford to lose one of the most valuable interviewers in years. But who are fired are the following:
Balls Mahoney
Mike Knox
Snitsky
The Boogeyman
Robbie and Rory McAllister
Dave Taylor
Jim Duggan
Mark Henry
and...
Big Daddy V.
The camera closes in on Mr. McMahon's face.
Vinnie: YOU'RE FIRED!
We go back to the ring, where everything is ready for the next match.
King: Next up, it is Jeff Hardy in action.
JR: And he is going against Gregory Helms.
King: I loved that man as the Hurricane.
Jeff Hardy's theme hits to a huge pop. Jeff Hardy comes to the ring.
Lillian: The following is a qualification match for the Leightweight Battle Royal and is scheduled for One Fall . Introducing first, from Cameron North Carolina, Jeff Hardy!
JR: This match is a Lightweight Division match.
King: The winner goes on to Backlash, where he will participate in a 6 man Battle Royal for the Title.
JR: What would it be if Jeff Hardy took this title?
King: That would be great, but imagine if Gregory Helms won here tonight.
Gregory Helms' theme hits and out comes Helms, to a indescribable booing.
JR: Do we really want Gregory Helms to win?
King: Why not, he's a great superstar?
JR: Oh, you're full of it.
King: We'll be right back, after this.
--- Commercial Break ---
------------------------
Jeff Hardy vs. Gregory Helms
-------------------------
Hardy and Helms immediately lock onto each other. Helms sneak kicks Hardy in the guts and hits a neckbreaker. Hardy goes down hard. Helms locks in a headlock. Hardy gets to the ropes with his foot. The ref orders Helms to release. He does so hesitantly. Hardy gets up and evades a clothesline. He hits a Side Effect for the cover.
1...2...
Kick Out! Helms gets up and ducks a clothesline. Helms takes the opportunity to hit a belly-to-back Suplex. Hardy uses the ropes to get up, but gets taken to the ringside area by a spear from Helms, sending both men to the outside. The lie down on the floor, with the referee starting a 10-count. It takes Helms 7 counts to get back into the ring. Hardy gets in the ring just after the 9 count. Helms looks to hit a running kick, but Hardy manages to kick him and hit the Twist of Fate. Hardy goes up to the top rope and attempts the Swanton Bomb. But Helms moves out of the way just in time and Hardy lands hard. Helms moves over for the cover.
1...2...3!
Lillian: Here is your winner, Gregory Helms!
King: What a win here for Helms, he is going to Backlash.
JR: Hardy was so close, but his High Risk offence didn't pay off this time.
King: He can't win them all.
We are backstage, where Batista is standing with other former Smackdown stars MVP, Chuck Palumbo, Deuce, Domino, Cherry and Chavo Guerrero.
Batista: I don't like this one bit. Those RAW hotheads will destroy our credibility. I say we kick them first.
Deuce: So, you want us to help you?
Batista: I want us to help each other, or do you think you'll stand a chance here by yourself? I say we take over this show. Let the Smackdown Invasion begin.
The men and Cherry disappear, while the view goes back to ringside.
King: See, this is what you get when you invite Smackdown scum on RAW.
JR: These men are RAW Superstars, King.
King: I beg to differ.
"The Game" takes over the arena, to a loud pop from the crowd.
King: Our Main Event, JR.
JR: Triple H vs. Edge, this promises to be one slobber knocker of a fight.
King: Com'on, JR, Triple H has this one won already.
"Metalingus" hits, which causes booing noises to rise up.
JR: Edge is the ultimate opportunist, I wouldn't want to write him off just yet.
King: Oh, you're full of it, JR.
----------------------------------
Main Event
Triple H vs. Edge
----------------------------------
Triple H taunts Edge to go ahead and have the first shot. Edge tries to hit a right hand, but is blocked and arm dragged to the floor. Triple H hits a knee to the right arm, then pulls Edge up again. He whips him into the corner hard. Edge stumbles out and is hit with a Sidewalk Slam. Triple H with the early cover.
1...
Edge kicks out quickly and gets up even quicker. He waits for Triple H to get up and hits a running knee to the gut of The Game. Triple H falls to his knee and is hit with a running kick to the face. Edge covers.
1...
Triple H powers out. Edge gets up first and tries to hit a Spear, but Triple H sidesteps it. Edge rams his shoulder into the steel ring post. Triple H hits a chop block, sending Edge to the floor for another cover.
1...2...
Then the lights go out.
King: What the hell?
JR: This can only be one man.
King: No way.
Yes, the lights go back on and Triple H lies in the ring, out cold. In the ring stands the Undertaker with Edge in the tombstone piledriver position. Undertaker hits it. Then he signals he wants the WWE Championship.
Suddenly, Randy Orton's theme hits and he comes out with a mic.
Orton: Deadman, that title isn't yours by right. I was the last WWE Champion, the one man dynasty and I will have it again. And to do that, I will not only kill your legend, Taker, I will kill your career!
"Wooooo"
Ric Flair comes out again.
Flair: Taker, Orton, you want the WWE Championship? You're on. At Backlash, it will be Randy Orton versus The Undertaker.
RAW goes off the air with the camera switching between Randy Orton and The Undertaker.