WS Fantasy Basketball 2014-15

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Sessions is better than Smart
 

shutupchico

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ahhhhh feels good, man. whenever i need a natural high, it's nice to know that all i gotta do is go to yahoo, and click on my team. it's like i'm sitting on the balcony overlooking the ocean smoking a bowl. great names of the game, brought together by the draft sensei. deron the don, taj mahal, marco fonzarelli, and the guy who doesn't need hgh like his namesake, to be a winner, LANCE!
 

SAL

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The draft was Saturday? That explains the twitching.

Can someone do me a favor and post everyone's first pick? I'll give my OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS free of charge
 

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The draft was Saturday? That explains the twitching.

Can someone do me a favor and post everyone's first pick? I'll give my OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS free of charge
Draft was on Sunday.

GA - KD
Knicks20b - Anthony Davis
Mack - Lebron
IYF - Kevin Love
PSYCH - LMA (ended up trading him)
Brye - Carmello Anthony
KAEPERNICK - James Harden
Champ - Steph Curry
Brandon - Demarcus Cousins
Showtime - CP3
Notorious - Al Jefferson
Chico - Ibaka
KIF - Russell Westbrook
Me - Lillard (#16 overall)
 

Ghetto Anthony

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Man I really wanted Durant + Kevin Love :(

IYF is such an asshole
 

SAL

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(cracks knuckles)

WHY YOUR FIRST ROUND PICK SUCKS

by SAL


GA: great job picking Kevin Durant. Contributes in almost all categories, never gets hurt, model teammate, good guy, etc. So now that he's on your roster, what's going to happen first: both of his ACLs ripping themselves out of his body like prison escapees, or a story coming out about Durant running an underground baby-fighting ring? Most likely the knee thing, but I'll fucking admit it, I'm rooting for baby-fighting.

Knicks: Anthony Davis with the #2 pick. Good call. He'll be the best player in the league listed day-to-day with back spasms or some shit during the fantasy playoffs.

Mack: LeBron James at #3? Nice. You got a returning hometown hero. And he lost 20 lbs! Improved conditioning or secret cancer? You decide. And can we put on a moratorium on that fucking "I'm coming home" song while we're at it? If Diddy knew they'd apply that song to Cleveland he'd never have written it.

IYF: Kevin Love. High ceiling this year. Really high. (checks Chris Andersen's and Udonis Haslem's stats from last season) Really high. Those meh-percentage 3's he was shooting in Minnesota were literally the best shots available on that team. You think LeBron's gonna be in the post willing to kick out to Love for 3? PSYCH, don't burn that Kevin Love Lakers jersey you know you bought yet.

PSYCH: Aldridge. Wait what the fuck you didn't draft Kobe first? You goddamn poser. Of course you traded this pick and probably another pick and probably some spinning rims to GA for Kobe Bryant and a goddamn chicken sandwich. I don't understand you.

Brye: Carmelo Anthony at #6. You guys added a category for missed 22-foot jump shots or something?

KAEPERNICK: James Harden. I watched that video of Ron Artest elbowing him in the head the other day and felt nothing. Nothing. I used to like this guy. He even makes funnyish commercials! But he could get hit by a truck tomorrow and I wouldn't care. Anyway, decent pick.

Champ: Steph Curry. You know it's getting harder to make fun of picks made by people I don't know. Curry's alright I guess. I really honestly believe I could take him in a fight but he's a pretty good basketball player. I just google image searched him and yeah, he's 7 years old.

Brandon: Demarcus Cousins. Oh he went one year without threatening to kill anybody on the court and now he's a first-round pick? TRADE HIM FOR KOBE BRYANT WHILE YOU STILL CAN

Showtime: Chris Paul. Goddamn that's a hell of a pick at #10. Wow. Such an elite PG on a successful team in Los Angeles. Look on the bright side Lakers fans: I know you didn't get Paul, but at least you didn't have to give up Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom!

Notorious: Al Jefferson. Some people seem to think Charlotte's going to be good this year. But their best player is still fucking Al Jefferson, so no, they're not going to be good. They'll be the #6 seed in the East, which would make them the #22 seed in the West. Bonus fact: his full name is Albus Ricardo Jefferson. ALBUS. He's a goddamned Harry Potter character.

shutupchico: I made a stunning error during my retirement announcement and did not shout out, or give props, or give daps, or throw deuces HOWEVER THE SHIT YOU PEOPLE TALK to shutupchico. My apologies dude. Serge Ibaka! There was an article a couple of days ago about how Ibaka didn't know who Mitch McGary was. Which is funny, because if you put a picture of Ibaka in MS Paint and invert the colors, you get Mitch McGary.

KIF: Russell Westbrook. Jesus Christ, Russell Westbrook's still a thing? He's still happening? Can we get him traded to the 76ers or something so he can fulfill his destiny and score 35 points a game on a shitty shitty team? He's got a lot of McGradyitis in him. I think he'd be happier that way.

Mak: Damian Lillard. I can't think of a single bad thing to say about Lillard. So he's probably involved in the baby-fighting ring with Durant, is my guess.
 

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That post shows why you should still be in the league.
 

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(cracks knuckles)

WHY YOUR FIRST ROUND PICK SUCKS

by SAL


PSYCH, don't burn that Kevin Love Lakers jersey you know you bought yet.

PSYCH: Aldridge. Wait what the fuck you didn't draft Kobe first? You goddamn poser. Of course you traded this pick and probably another pick and probably some spinning rims to GA for Kobe Bryant and a goddamn chicken sandwich. I don't understand you.
1) I hate Love and watching him play so I hope he stays far away from la and a max deal

2) Sal to be fair my first true pick was Blake. I then because of trading 5 with ga, got Kobe and Bledsoe with his two picks in the twenties. And used my 30 on Marc Gasol.

Even got Z-Bo from a traded for pick

3) nice to see you around again ya assclown
 
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shutupchico

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sal, all is forgiven, dude. now do the right thing, and come out of retirement.
 

SAL

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This would be the shittiest possible time to do that, wouldn't it?
 

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ibaka was a safety pick for me. not a mansion, but a good sized house in one of those nice areas where u can go to sleep without stressing about locking the front door. ended up happy noto took big al, that is a break in waiting to happen. would have to sweeten the deal for me to even consider takin al back for serge.
 

shutupchico

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This would be the shittiest possible time to do that, wouldn't it?

next year, man, not like this league requires THAT much time. long as u got a few hours available on draft night, 15 minutes a week to set lineups, make gifs, and make fun of psych, u good to go.